According to Jim
  • 6 months ago
Transcript
00:30Oh, hey, bud, where you been?
00:59I just got back from the dental box. I needed the filling.
01:01Bet you chickened though, right?
01:03Soon as that robot drill started screeching, I bet you were gone.
01:07Yeah? How do you know that?
01:08You're still wearing a bib.
01:12Who needs a dental bot anyway, man? Half a bottle of gelf hooch.
01:15Can't feel a thing now.
01:17Anywhere.
01:19Starting to worry, actually.
01:21If it was me, I'd get my teeth fixed, Gummy.
01:24Otherwise, in a couple of years, you'll be flossing me toe rope.
01:30BANG
01:39Can you hear that?
01:40Hear what?
01:41That. Can't you hear it?
01:43It's driving me crazy.
01:45All over the ship, wherever I go, there's this really annoying whiny sound.
01:50Yeah, it's you. Stop talking, it's obvious.
01:53Still there.
01:55You still talking?
01:57Mr, this ship is falling apart. I need some help.
02:01Oh, don't look at me, Rimmer.
02:03I am busy today.
02:05Busy?
02:07And what are you doing today that makes you so busy?
02:10I'm getting drunk.
02:12That's your day?
02:14Not just any old drunk.
02:16I'm talking traffic cone-huggin', pavement-lickin' kashnikid.
02:21That's my day. Cheers.
02:24Er, what's this?
02:27I'm making a Father's Day card.
02:29You're making a Father's Day card?
02:32You?
02:33Who to?
02:35Well, let's round up the suspects, shall we, Sherlock?
02:39First up, there's me dad.
02:42But you're your dad.
02:44You went back in time and left your baby self under a pool table in a cardboard box.
02:51You're your own dad.
02:53So, therefore, I shouldn't get any Father's Day cards?
02:57It's not my fault that due to some time-travelling, paradoxy, sci-fi smeg,
03:03I happen to be my own dad.
03:05I do this every year.
03:07I write myself a thanks for being such an amazing dad card,
03:11then I drink myself into oblivion so I forget what I've written,
03:14and then 12 months later on Father's Day,
03:16which, by the way, happens to be today,
03:18Crichton delivers a Father's Day card and I haven't got a clue what it says.
03:23How cool is that?
03:25Morning, sirs!
03:27Oh, he hasn't.
03:29Oh, I think he has, sir. He never forgets his old dad.
03:35I don't know how he finds the time, what with all the things he's up to as well.
03:41Oh, look at that, dreads!
03:45Look at that, dreads!
03:48Brilliant! I mean, how funny is that?
03:51Oh, what a brilliant card.
03:54Made it himself, you know.
03:56Oh, look, a bit of poppadom!
04:01Poppadom!
04:03Oh...
04:05Oh...
04:07Oh...
04:10So thoughtful.
04:12Wait a minute.
04:14How can you even stand your dad?
04:16He abandoned you in a pub in a cardboard box.
04:20The only thing he's ever given you your whole life
04:23is a rattle and a few air holes.
04:27What kind of a dad is that?
04:29That's true, yeah. That's right.
04:32That's not right, that, is it?
04:38There it is again, that whiny sound.
04:40You're talking again!
04:45Another 3212 required.
04:48And a replacement valve housing gasket for 17.
04:51Noted, sir.
04:53I thought the new computer was supposed to be helping with all this.
04:56It's not uploaded yet, sir. Later today.
04:59Hey, Crichton, how's it going? Great night last night.
05:02You can say that again, 16.
05:05We had quite a night of it last night, sir.
05:08Me and a bunch of the dispensing machines
05:10got together and played Chinese whispers.
05:13We had so much fun.
05:15Now, the sentence started as...
05:20Crichton, shut up.
05:22Yes, sir.
05:23I'm not remotely interested in some stupid parlour game
05:26you were playing with a talking condom machine
05:28and two Lillette dispensers.
05:30Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Thank you, sir.
05:32While we're at it, Chinese whispers, isn't that racist?
05:36Basically, what you're saying is that Chinese people
05:38can't convey a simple piece of information to one another.
05:41Now, if that's the case, how come they invented acupuncture,
05:44gunpowder, laundry and those funny little hats?
05:50Chinese whispers. It's offensive, racist and wrong.
05:54Ask around. I think you'll find I'm right.
06:00So, how can I help?
06:02I need some advice. I want to be a better father to my son.
06:05What kind of person is your son?
06:07Ooh, tough question.
06:09If I had to sum him up in one word, it'd be...
06:12Ooh...
06:14Awesome.
06:16And he's smart. I mean, OK, not book smart,
06:19but that's only because he hasn't read any books.
06:22If he had, then who knows?
06:24And he's a killer guitarist.
06:27You know, when he's had a few years up there with Hendrix.
06:32So, what's the problem?
06:34He's in a rut.
06:36He's not going anywhere. No job, no girlfriend.
06:40And to be honest, I know I shouldn't, but I kind of blame myself.
06:45So, he's a total bum?
06:47Total bum? I don't think so.
06:49A bum, maybe.
06:51But total bum, no way.
06:55Ah, that's weird. I don't seem to have your son on file.
06:59Ah, well, there's a reason for that.
07:01He should register. He's missing out on a whole raft of privileges.
07:05Is he?
07:07Free Christmas champagne, his own TV and game package.
07:11It'll only take five minutes.
07:13Quick medical so we can set up his bios for stasis, and he's done.
07:18What's his name? Dave.
07:20Same as you. I'll open a file for him right now.
07:24Done. OK, here's what I think.
07:27Tough love.
07:29Soft love. Set him goals.
07:31He doesn't achieve those goals, kick his butt.
07:34Kick it hard. Tough love.
07:37Soft love.
07:42That's a great question, Creighton.
07:44Is Chinese Whispers racist?
07:46Leave it with me. I'll do some research.
07:50Hi, Darby.
07:52So, you're a cat of the world. What do you think?
07:55Uh, I don't know, Sixteen.
07:58But you got me intrigued.
08:00Let me ask around.
08:03Thank goodness for that derelict, sir.
08:05I am just so excited at the prospect of having a new computer.
08:09We so miss Holly.
08:11It's true, we just don't get the same quality of cock-up these days, do we?
08:17OK, sir, the computer is ready to launch. Here we go, the pref menus.
08:22Uh, male or female?
08:25Female. Not really bothered. Doesn't really matter.
08:28Female.
08:32Age, 25, 50 or 75?
08:35Whatever. Let's not get held back by this, Creighton. 25.
08:41Blonde or brunette?
08:43Honestly, don't care. It doesn't matter. Not important. Blonde.
08:49Breast size?
08:52I can't honestly believe they actually still ask that question these days.
08:56It's absolutely ludicrous, it really is.
08:58I totally agree with you, sir. I'll choose the first one, 38.
09:02Hang on!
09:05What's the hurry, Creighton?
09:07Everyone knows you don't just pick the first thing that comes into your head.
09:11What's that one down there at the bottom?
09:1436D, sir.
09:16Fine, go with that one.
09:18Whatever. 36D it is.
09:21I've already highlighted 38, sir.
09:23Creighton, don't argue. 36D it is.
09:28Creighton, it's not important. I don't know why you're making such a fuss about this.
09:3236D, select it, moving on.
09:35But I'm not making a fuss, sir.
09:37OK, I'm pulling rank.
09:39I order you to select 36D as the breast size for the new computer.
09:4436D is the breast size for the new computer.
09:47And that's an order.
09:49Selected, sir.
09:51Ah, now, personality.
09:53Whatever.
09:55Accent?
09:56Whatever.
09:58Frame size?
09:59Your call, let's launch UK.
10:02Close-up chosen.
10:04There we go.
10:05Oh, I really like that frame size, don't you, sir?
10:08Hey, hey! Ooh!
10:10Hello, my name's Pri.
10:12It will take a few moments for my database to initialize.
10:15Wow, nice pixels.
10:17Hey, buds, what's happening?
10:19We're just launching the new computer, sir.
10:21Here we go.
10:23Greetings, gentlemen. My name is Pri, and I will be your new ship computer.
10:27I have many functions, including predictive behavior technology.
10:31Predictive what?
10:32Like predictive text on the cell phone.
10:34Predictive behavior technology anticipates your actions based on past behavior
10:38and performs the rest of the actions for you.
10:41How's she able to do that?
10:43Well, best guess, she builds behavioral algorithms from the ship's security footage.
10:48So she's able to guess how we're most likely to behave in any given situation.
10:53Exactly right, Crichton.
10:55What about maintenance? Can you repair the ship's engineering faults?
10:59I already anticipated you'd ask me that question, Arnold,
11:02and I've repaired all the faults on BDAC already.
11:05There is now a 98% probability you will discuss my potential for changing your lives
11:09and reach the conclusion that you're looking forward to seeing me in action.
11:14You now no longer need to have this conversation and can do something else.
11:19So now we don't have that conversation and move straight on to the next conversation.
11:24Your next conversation is a conversation about not having the previous conversation,
11:29saying you were looking forward to the previous conversation
11:31and now feel a bit lost not having had that conversation.
11:34But you conclude you will probably get used to hearing the results of your conversations
11:38and no longer having the conversations yourselves.
11:42Hey, new computer.
11:46Predictive. Knows what you're likely to say and do in any given situation.
11:51Hey, I can come in handy. Got a job for you.
11:54I know.
11:59LAUGHTER
12:13Whoa.
12:15I could buy a pillow.
12:17I must have got trashed last night.
12:22Bravo.
12:26What's this?
12:29Don't remember making this.
12:37Hi, son. It's your old dad here.
12:42Here's the plan. I'm going to give you some advice.
12:45Kind of a do as I say, not as I do kind of style.
12:51Then I'm going to get totally trashed, so I'll forget what I've said.
12:56And then when you watch this,
12:58you'll feel like you've got a totally normal, ordinary, regular dad. Yeah?
13:03Don't remember making this.
13:06Rumour's right.
13:08I've never been a proper dad to you.
13:12Never watched you play zero-G.
13:15Never encouraged you.
13:18Never encouraged you.
13:20Gave you advice.
13:22Kicked your big, fat butt when it needed kicking.
13:25Maybe that's why you've ended up like this.
13:28Like what?
13:30You're a big, big disappointment to me, David.
13:34You really are.
13:36What?
13:37No ambition. Titting about.
13:40Wasting your life away.
13:44And you're not looking after yourself.
13:47And you drink too much.
13:49It's getting worse.
13:51I'm doing OK.
13:52I'm doing OK. You're probably saying,
13:54I'm doing OK, but you're not.
13:57I mean, you could have done so much more and you know it.
14:01Who are you to tell me what to do?
14:03What have you ever done with your life?
14:18You've got to get yourself an education.
14:21At least get good at something.
14:24And then...
14:26And then build a home, a proper home,
14:29and then go and find Chrissie.
14:31And how do I do all of that?
14:36Step one,
14:37enrol in the Jupiter Mining Corporation engineering programme.
14:41Step two, get that filling fee.
14:44Step three,
14:45step two, get that filling fixed.
14:48I'm going to play the next message.
14:54So...
14:56you had to enrol in the Jupiter Engineering Mining Programme
15:00and get that filling fixed.
15:02How did it go?
15:03Hey, did you make your old man proud?
15:08You didn't do it, did you, David?
15:10No.
15:11You skipped ahead to the next message
15:13to see what I'd say, didn't you?
15:15Yes, Dad.
15:16I knew you'd do that.
15:17It was a test.
15:19Sorry, Dad.
15:20Now get your filling fixed, no messing,
15:23then play message three, yeah?
15:31What, you think I'm stupid?
15:32Is that what you think?
15:33You think I'm stupid?
15:34Hey, get the filling fixed,
15:36then play the next message.
15:38What the smeg?
15:40Go on, swear.
15:42How the smeg do you know I was going to swear?
15:44Let me make one thing crystal clear, young man.
15:47I will not be having any of your nonsense.
15:50While you're living under my roof on my spaceship,
15:54you abide by my rules.
15:56And if you don't like it, well, you know what you can do.
15:59Now, if you skip ahead one more time,
16:02I'm going to flush that guitar of yours out of an airlock.
16:06Now get the filling done now.
16:11I thought I'd finally do what you wanted to do, Jack.
16:15Well, you got that wrong.
16:17Message four, good.
16:20We're finally making some progress.
16:22Wrong.
16:23Finally learned a little bit of respect.
16:26Wrong.
16:28By the way, it's your guitar.
16:30Go on, go over there and give us a song.
16:33What's he up to?
16:36What's he up to?
16:49Have a look at that portal there.
16:51See that tiny speck?
16:53Half a light year away.
16:55That's your Gibson Les Paul, that is.
16:57No!
16:58Tough love.
16:59Do you want some more?
17:01Now enrol in the mech engineering programme
17:04and get the filling done now.
17:06You'll get some more daddy discipline.
17:10I really love that guitar.
17:12You don't understand me.
17:14I hate you.
17:28Evening, Pri.
17:30Glad you had such a good day, Arnold.
17:32I'm so sorry this evening's going to be such a nightmare.
17:35Ah, but it's not.
17:37I'm going to put my feet up and watch TV.
17:40Put on Victory South for me, will you?
17:43A fascinating drama series about the American Civil War
17:46where the South win.
17:49Loved series one, really looking forward to series two.
17:53I deleted all 24 episodes earlier this morning, Arnold.
17:57What?
17:58I watched them all yesterday and you didn't enjoy them.
18:02But I haven't seen them.
18:04But if you had, you wouldn't have enjoyed them.
18:06But series one was brilliant.
18:08Why didn't I enjoy them?
18:10All your favourite characters were killed off,
18:12including the busty blonde heroine with no personality.
18:16Oh, I loved her.
18:18What am I supposed to do now?
18:20I thought you could use that time more fruitfully,
18:23perhaps finally reading War and Peace.
18:26I want to unwind, relax.
18:29Read a book that's longer than Rapunzel's pubic hair.
18:34Sir, how could we? B-Deck is in total disarray.
18:40B-Deck, the floor three repairs?
18:42Three, what's happened?
18:44I thought you were going to repair all this.
18:46I did.
18:47And thanks to my predictive capabilities,
18:49I was able to carry out the repairs
18:51in the exact manner you would have instructed.
18:54One bunch of after another.
18:56No regard to safety procedures or good workmanship.
18:59Exactly.
19:00How can you be a top computer if you do something like this?
19:03I didn't, Arnold. You did.
19:05I merely duplicated what you would have done.
19:07I don't understand.
19:09I'm programmed to align myself with the ship's senior officer
19:12so computer and crew can perform as one.
19:14What the senior officer would do, I do for them.
19:17You're saying because I would have cocked all this up,
19:21you cocked it all up for me.
19:24Precisely.
19:26But this is really embarrassing. What do I do now?
19:29You now have a conversation with Crichton
19:31where you blame him for everything
19:33and then stride off indignantly.
19:35There is now no need to have this conversation
19:37and you go straight to your exit.
19:48Is this the line for the Dentsy bar?
19:50Get in the queue, bud.
19:52What's up?
19:53Oh, Phil and Fanny decided to get it done.
19:57Got a question for you.
19:59Been driving everyone nuts.
20:01If anyone knows, you know.
20:03Here's the question.
20:05A Chinese whisker's racist?
20:10A Chinese whisker's racist?
20:12Mm.
20:13Do you mean those wispy little Mandarin beards like Fu Manchu?
20:16Exactly.
20:19Dunno.
20:20I know that Asian fast food machine on B-deck.
20:23Taiwan Tony?
20:24Taiwan Tony.
20:26Better you'll know.
20:27Why would he know?
20:29Because Taiwan Tony's from Taiwan
20:31and Taiwan's a bit Chinese-y.
20:34Taiwan's a bit Chinese-y? Of course it is!
20:38I'll ask him.
20:43Hang on. What are you doing here?
20:45Heard we're nearly out of anaesthetic.
20:47Thought I'd grab the last tank.
20:49Anaesthetic?
20:50One tank, and I'm gonna grab it.
20:53But you don't need it, right?
20:54Don't need it now, but one day I will.
20:57I'm always collecting things I don't need for when I need them.
21:01You got to think ahead.
21:03But I need the anaesthetic now.
21:05See? You didn't think ahead.
21:10This is what I'm saying.
21:11You got to think ahead.
21:14Look, I've got a cavity.
21:15A stretch limo could do a three-point turn in.
21:18I need the anaesthetic.
21:19How about we share?
21:21Hey, bud, never ask a cat to share.
21:24It's a slash to the face after an offence.
21:29Hey, that's me.
21:30Wish me luck.
21:35You realise we are out of anaesthetic?
21:39It's only pain, right?
21:41I can handle it.
21:42It proves I'm alive.
21:44I embrace it.
21:45And as for the brain's smouldering agony,
21:47I've been told I'm not squeamish.
21:49I can certainly watch those medical programmes
21:51where they pull a beating heart out of a human chest
21:54and still eat pizza.
21:55So, a new fill-in without anaesthetic.
21:59I say, come on, bring it on.
22:02Let the drilling commence.
22:06Hey, that's the second beep we've lost this week.
22:10Do you hear me?
22:11Oh, you like the tummy?
22:13Oh, man.
22:14That good.
22:15I make it myself.
22:17Got a question for you.
22:20Are Chinese whiskers racist?
22:22Oh, that's a very strange question, Mr Cat.
22:26But leave with me.
22:28I ask people.
22:29People who pass, I ask every time.
22:34Thanks.
22:39Did you get that fill-in done?
22:41Yes, sir.
22:42I did say all filled or all done.
22:44Don't you lie to me, David Lister.
22:47You chickened out again, didn't you?
22:49Yes, Dad.
22:50Well, this is going to hurt me a lot more
22:54than it's going to hurt you.
22:57But you leave me no choice.
23:04Hello, aspirin.
23:06Hello?
23:07I'm afraid the dispensers, Dave,
23:08are your only program to serve registered crew.
23:11Oh, new computer.
23:12Hi.
23:13I am registered crew.
23:15Not any longer, former crewman.
23:17You resigned from Red Dwarf last night.
23:20Resigned?
23:21You what?
23:23Oh, that wasn't me.
23:24That was me dad.
23:27Who, OK, is me,
23:29but it wasn't me that resigned.
23:30It was him.
23:31Look, we'll start again.
23:32I'm me, and my dad's me,
23:34because I'm my own dad.
23:36Now, to teach me a lesson,
23:37he, my dad, resigned.
23:40Although he resigned and he is me,
23:42I don't want to resign,
23:43because I'm not him,
23:44even though he's me.
23:47It's clear.
23:48Totally clear, former crewman.
23:51Don't say former crewman.
23:53Present crewman.
23:54Your resignation has just been processed,
23:56and your free oxygen allowance
23:58will terminate today at noon.
24:02Ten minutes' time?
24:04Do you know what?
24:05I'll just re-enlist.
24:07The only way to re-enlist
24:08is to apply for one of the JMC undergrad programmes.
24:12Ah, yeah, that was his plan all along.
24:15Just one question, former crewman.
24:17Are you 21 or under?
24:20Well, my hair cut is.
24:21Does that count?
24:23I'm sorry, former crewman.
24:24That makes you ineligible for the programme.
24:27And since the JMC is no longer obligated
24:29to provide you with oxygen,
24:31your free supply will end in eight minutes and counting.
24:35Oh, I really need oxygen.
24:37It's really important to me lifestyle.
24:40You need to leave.
24:41I'm not going anywhere.
24:42Where will I go?
24:43I'm not leaving.
24:44You're leaving.
24:45No, I'm not.
24:46I'm staying here.
24:47You just watch me, not leave.
24:50Dave?
24:51Dave?
24:54Dave?
25:01Dave?
25:24My friend, Mr Cat,
25:26he has very strange question.
25:29I ask everyone who pass.
25:31See if they know.
25:33What's the question, T.T.?
25:35Do Chinese knickers have braces?
25:42Do Chinese knickers have braces?
25:46Well, I suppose some of them do.
25:48Maybe for that extra feeling of security
25:51if, say, you're a woman jumping out of a plane in a skirt.
25:56That what I saw.
25:58What's their pants flying off at 10,000 feet?
26:02You're a long way down and drafty all the way.
26:07Leave it with me, T.T.
26:08I'll ask around.
26:09You know who might know?
26:12Dispenser 55 down on G-Deck.
26:15Don't waste your time.
26:16He know nothing.
26:17He know pre-package.
26:19Oh, microwave!
26:28Microwave!
26:38Consumer help!
26:42Help me!
26:44I'm being apprehended!
26:46Come on, help me!
26:48I'm being shot down!
26:52Help me!
26:57Your JMC oxygen subscription will end in 30 seconds.
27:01Hang on, I've got to get my gloves on.
27:03And counting.
27:04Look, I'm not ready.
27:05I've got to get my stuff on.
27:07Expulsion time, 10 seconds and counting.
27:10I can't do this.
27:1310, 9, 5...
27:15Just give us 10 seconds.
27:174, 3...
27:19That wasn't 10 seconds!
27:21Thank you for breathing JMC oxygen
27:23and we hope sometime in the future you'll decide to breathe our oxygen again.
27:27Have a safe onward journey.
27:29Goodbye.
27:37What the hell is that?
27:39An airlock's opened and the ship's just ejected something.
27:43Oh, it looks like a little man in a space suit.
27:46That's not a man, that's Lister.
27:49What's he doing up there?
27:51Gentlemen.
27:52What's happened to Lister?
27:53He resigned, Arnold.
27:55And as a consequence, our mission goal has now changed.
27:58There's no longer a requirement to return crewman Lister to Earth,
28:02nor is it fiscally prudent to return a crewless ship.
28:06Mindful of the Space Pollution Act,
28:08JMC policy dictates the ship should dispose of itself
28:11by flying straight into the nearest sun.
28:15What about us?
28:17Never mind us, what about me?
28:20No need for alarm, Arnold.
28:22You can come too.
28:24In fact, I'm instructed to offer you a new position
28:27as supervising officer on your voyage into the heart of the solar core.
28:31Mission name, Operation Sizzle.
28:35Or, if you prefer, Arnold, your hologramic unit can be shut down now.
28:40So, I have a choice.
28:42Get turned off now, have a non-existence for the rest of eternity,
28:46or live a little longer and then get cooked to death.
28:49It's a real head-scratcher, sir.
28:51No question.
28:53So, how long have we got before we reach the point of no return,
28:57the melting point?
28:58You mean the point where sun cream and floppy hats are no defence
29:01because our noses have started melting onto our shoes,
29:04which are now floating down the corridor in a river
29:06made up of our own leg gravy?
29:09Well, we'll go as fast as we can, supervising officer,
29:13as I know you're keen to complete the mission.
29:16How long, you mad golf bastard?
29:19Well, I can have the ship fly beyond its safety limits,
29:23disengage the carbon-carbon reinforced heat shields,
29:26so it shouldn't take more than 90 years.
29:3090 years? Hey, that's not too bad.
29:33Did I say years? Sorry, I meant minutes.
29:3790 minutes.
30:08Ah!
30:22Sir, I'm so pleased you're OK.
30:25Not for long. In 90 minutes,
30:27we're going to be hotter than me and a pair of silk speedos.
30:31What are we going to do? We're finished.
30:33Oh, Creighton, we can do this.
30:35All we have to do is get to the machine room
30:37and pull the plug on this loony.
30:39Now, if you could unscrew that wall panel,
30:41we'll shortcut through the vents.
30:43Right away, sir.
30:45Two minutes, we'll be through.
30:47No, you won't. Your attempts to defeat me are futile.
30:51Oh, yeah? How are you planning on stopping us?
30:54Well, actually, sir, she controls all the ship's functions,
30:58so in many ways, her powers are limitless!
31:01Gas is coming in through the vents!
31:04Are we laughing, Gas?
31:08We're in!
31:10It's sealed!
31:12There's no way through!
31:14So, we're screwed!
31:16We're defenceless!
31:18I can't think straight with this toothache.
31:21There's that, and then they go...
31:28Here comes the wall!
31:30Here comes another one!
31:35Hey, Creighton!
31:37That crazy question you asked, I've got the answer!
31:41What question, 55?
31:43Do Siamese sisters get whiskers in stasis?
31:47Nah, they don't.
31:49Quick medical, so we can set up his bios for stasis.
31:53Stasis, stasis, stasis, of course!
31:56What was I thinking? I've got it!
31:58All GMC vessels undertake to return crew to Earth,
32:01including their dependents, right?
32:03You've resigned, former crewman.
32:05There's no way back.
32:07I didn't resign, my dad did.
32:09We share the same name.
32:10Then you'd be on file, and you're not.
32:12Did you check the Medibay waiting list?
32:14Isn't there a file open, David Lister, medical pending?
32:18Yes.
32:19Isn't it true, once I complete my medical,
32:22and I have all my bios for stasis,
32:24I've become registered crew?
32:25Yes.
32:26And as registered crew,
32:28do I have the power to shoot you down?
32:30Yes.
32:31And as your primary objective
32:34is to save registered crew members time and energy,
32:38shouldn't you just uninstall yourself now?
32:41Your logic is faultless.
32:47Oh, rock and roll.
32:51Dave Lister saves the day.
32:54Being brave in a hostile universe.
33:01Good evening.
33:03Mr. David Lister, Jr., sir.
33:06Welcome aboard.
33:08Good morning, Crites.
33:10Complimentary champagne and games package,
33:14courtesy of the JMC.
33:16No, I'm not interested, Crites.
33:18I've just signed up for the robotics program.
33:20I'm going to pass that sucker.
33:21So, alcohol, computer games,
33:23it's hasta la vista, baby.
33:26Go on, get him out of here.
33:29Zero G total football.
33:32I didn't know this was even out.
33:34Criton, grab yourself a remote
33:36and say goodbye to the weekend
33:38your mech puts going down, boy.
33:43Oh, and Criton,
33:44that champagne's not going to open itself.
33:58More or less
34:00Let me fly
34:02Far away from here
34:04Fun, fun, fun
34:07In the sun, sun, sun
34:11I want to live
34:13Shipwrecked in comatose
34:15Drinking fresh
34:17Nigel's juice
34:19Goofy's jaws
34:21Spilling out my toes
34:23Fun, fun, fun
34:26In the sun, sun, sun
34:30Fun, fun, fun
34:34In the sun, sun, sun