• 6 months ago
Transcript
00:00I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and
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01:26a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then
01:52I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song, and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
02:22and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
02:52and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
02:54and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
02:56and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
02:58and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
03:00and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
03:02and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
03:04and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
03:06and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
03:08and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
03:10and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
03:12and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
03:14and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
03:16and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
03:18and then I'm going to play a little bit of this song
03:21Tsssh.
03:24OK, I'm here. What's the beef?
03:26We've got a visitor.
03:27What?
03:28The pod arrived about 20 minutes ago,
03:30something was in it, but it's broken free.
03:32Any ideas?
03:33Well... I don't want to spread any panic
03:35or alarm.
03:37What do you mean you don't want to spread panic
03:39and alarm?
03:40Well, you've always had this thing against
03:42tarantulas, haven't you?
03:44Tarantulas?
03:45I mean, you've never been overly fond of them
03:47as a species, have you?
03:49Well, no, and the prospect of waking up and finding one crawling over your clammy naked helpless bodies
03:57kind of
03:58Cold dread. Well, yeah, what are you trying to say to me Holly? I'm saying it might not be your night
04:07This is the best shot the security cameras could get
04:10We lost it. What's the Crichton think?
04:14Crichton's off moon hopping with Rimmer radio links down
04:17I'll keep trying
04:25Hey, okay, you look tense
04:39Dumb adventure game
04:47Oh from Gandalf the Master Wizard, that's what I usually do
05:17I
05:47I
05:49I
06:13Crying man, take it easy. I'm gonna get you out of there
06:17My legs I can't feel them. Yeah, they're trapped in the distantion
06:25Begging your pardon, sir
06:28Crying man. Keep still draw a line here. Don't go all wonky
06:33As much of you as possible
06:35You
06:44Sir a couple of brief points
06:46Firstly you are not a qualified service engineer and consequently sawing me in two will invalidate my guarantee
06:54Secondly, I wouldn't trust you to open a can of sardines that was already open
06:59Oh
07:03You're right, he really isn't dead. Oh you 20
07:11Okay, I think so sir a few bits and bobs left over
07:16But it's always the same when you try a bit of do-it-yourself, isn't it?
07:19Mr. Rimmer
07:23What well there are gaps I remember mr
07:27Rimmer spotted an s3 planet on the scope and wanted to claim it on behalf of the Space Corps as
07:32Usual the ceremony consisted of planting the flag and singing all 23 stanzas of the Space Corps anthem
07:39Then the planet started to erupt around us, which frankly came as something of a relief
07:43a
07:46Little quake worse it was as if the entire planet was reshaping terraforming itself as we watched
07:53And then then things got a bit sketchy. I remember an explosion and then blackness and then I remember mr. Rimmer screaming
08:01I have an image of his face twisted with fear pain anguish dread
08:05Absolutely mortified. Did someone suggest he pick up the tab for lunch?
08:10Something took him something awful. Can we track him Holly? Can you get a trace on his light be got him?
08:16Click and a half to South
08:18Suggest we continue the journey by land sir. I'll lower the caterpillar tracks
08:22I think I've just worked out what that missing circuit board is for sir
08:30This is one weird place strange animal noises unbearable stench
08:35Scrooge he underfoot just like your laundry basket at the end of the month
08:39Get anything my guess is this is a psy moon
08:43I
08:45An artificial planetoid it tunes into an individual psyche and adapts its terrain to mimic his mental state in this instance
08:52I believe it reconfigured itself using mr. Rimmer subconscious as a template. What are you saying to me?
08:57Great. We are interlopers inside. Mr. Rimmer's mind
09:02Sounds like a 12 change of underwear trick
09:05Planet's Rimmer's mind. What is it that took him all his neurosis all his personal demons will be incarnated here made-flesh
09:13Example, well each person's mindscape is unique, but we could well encounter say mr. Rimmer's lust
09:19Personified as some kind of slobbering rampaging beast
09:23Rimmer's lust is a kind of self-indulgent self-indulgent
09:27Some kind of slobbering rampaging beast
09:35Individuals mental landscape is dominated by one drive in some cases. It might be ambition in others greed envy or they desire to please
09:43Whatever it is that took mr. Rimmer. We can only pray that its intentions are benign
09:47Come on, he can't be in that much danger
09:49I mean, he's a hologram and not here here
09:52He will have a physical form until he leaves and any danger. He may be in will be very real indeed
10:02Look I don't know who you are or what you think you're doing, but I demand my right to a phone call
10:09Yes, I thought that it stopped you I thought the threat of legal action would have you running for cover
10:22Is this the British Embassy
10:25Moses bit like the British Embassy
10:27I want to know who you are what I'm doing here and I want to know now in accordance with the appetites of the dark
10:32one malicious ruler of this domain
10:34We the holy legions proper up this sacrifice to slake the vile depraved thirstings of the unspeakable one
10:41Well, let's clear that up
10:44Oh
10:47Thank God thank God there were some very very strange men running around in black hoods with drums and rather
10:54Unconvincing red eyes. Well, thank God you're here. You know, I actually thought I was in the most awful danger
11:03Is it me or is it suddenly got rather hot in here
11:09What's happening why have we stopped I don't like the look of that swamp sir
11:12I don't think it'll support the bug. I suggest we continue the journey on foot. You mean go out there
11:17I don't a rumor subconscious come to the signal. We're almost on top of him. She won't be more than two or three hundred meters
11:22Remember, it's Rimmer's mind out there
11:27Expect sickness
11:30I'm a second technician in the Space Corps. I'm briefed to give you my name a number and nothing more
11:35I don't know who you people are or what you think you're playing at but I'm not gonna give you anything else
11:41You can oil me all you like you can use your tongues and your full sensual lips to caress my
11:47erogenous zones onto a plateau of sexual ecstasy
11:51But I'll tell you now this nuts not for cracking
11:57However
11:59I'll be it for me to change your game plan. If you absolutely insist on using erotic persuasion to achieve your devious ends
12:06Then so be it
12:08Just have a large quattro formaggio pizza with extra olives ready at the end
12:16Where are you going?
12:19What are you doing my god, are you gonna take a flying leap?
12:25The master you have been prepared for him this master character and I acknowledge
12:31I may not want to know the full answer to this one
12:33But why does he want me oiling particularly obviously whatever he has in mind is facilitated by my being slippery and pliant yes
12:42He always likes his victims to be oiled an oiled body is so much better for conducting the electricity
12:49Not the best news, but it could have been worse
13:03I
13:21Ever agreed to go for a stroll in Rimsaki, I will never know terrific this gets better and better
13:29Is it me are those frogs saying useless
13:33Hey
13:36Look at this you got a huge great blood-sucking leech on your neck
13:41It's got a human face
13:43It's Rimmers moon
13:46Come quickly, I think I found a metaphor a walk look at all these gravestones
13:51Realized self-respect died aged 24. They're all aspects of mr. Rimmers personality, which are dead
13:58generosity died age 9
14:01Self-confidence taken from us age 22
14:05On a gun, but not forgotten died age 12 look at this. This one's my new
14:17Freshly dog who's it for?
14:21Psychologically speaking mr.
14:22Rimmer may be in far bigger trouble in any of us ever suspected if we don't get to him before this grave is filled
14:28We may never get out of this nightmare
14:43Boy am I glad to see you
14:47You must be the unspeakable one
14:50Just to fill you in there's been a gigantic administrative cock up
14:55Some of your staff have somehow mistaken me for a virgin
15:06Sorry, yes, I do tend to jabber on a bit when I'm nervous
15:12I've never been partial to physical torture. It's actually always been one of my worst nightmares actually
15:25Yeah, it's gonna be somewhere here we should be right on top of them
15:36Whatever that was let's hope it's at lunch. It's right below us
15:40Who are you here? And why are you being so horrible to me? It is you
15:47Nurtured me helped me grow strong. I am the part of you that hates yourself
15:54I am your self-loathing
15:57My self-loathing is it not true you despise yourself
16:03But you can test your own incompetence and stupidity
16:07That you hold yourself in contempt for your countless failures and disappointments
16:12Is it not true? You feel nothing but the deepest blackness
16:17For that walking vomit stain the world calls
16:20River is it not true?
16:24Yes
16:26Look we've got two choices
16:28Either we go in there with bazookas blazing and try and somehow get them out of there
16:33But we sit here like lemons and watch them get tortured
16:36Anybody got any afro glasses?
16:38So busy place to kill stuff and bounce
16:42We're going in
16:53Oh
17:02Reload sir another barrage of bazooka and fire could start a rock slide and bury us all
17:07Reload you'd risk your lives for me. Of course. You're part of the crew
17:17What happened
17:19Weird where'd he go? There's an old Android saying which I believe is peculiarly appropriate here in binary language
17:26It goes something like this zero zero one one zero zero one one one zero
17:30Zero zero one one one one zero zero one one zero zero one one one zero zero which roughly translated means don't stand around
17:37Jabbering when you're in mortal danger
17:40Oh
17:46We don't write a swamp of despair a straight past the wood of humiliation and then hard left at the chasm of hopelessness
17:53You're a weird guy, you know that
17:55Why
18:07You're looking at me like that
18:09Like as if this is all my fault. Have you any idea what kind of day I've had?
18:14I've been kidnapped stripped oiled menaced manacled licked nibbled chained tortured humiliated
18:21But I nearly had a knobbly thing the size and shape of a Mexican agave cactus jammed up where only customs men dare to probe
18:29Don't you know what this place is? Yes. It's a hellhole. It's a nightmare. It's a stinking infested pit of putridness
18:36Rumer it's your mind
18:39He's right, sir. This is a cy moon. Its terrain was landscaped by your psyche
18:45so
18:46So, what are you saying to me that thing that that beast that lives inside my mind metaphorically? Yes, sir
18:54Self-loathing, I don't loathe myself. What is there one could possibly loathe about me. Would you like the list sir?
19:02What list well, there's the fact that you were despised by your parents for failing to achieve their standards
19:07The fact that your three brothers were all such high flyers in the Space Corps and you ended up servicing chicken soup machines
19:14Your inability to form long-term relationships with anyone your cowardliness
19:17Your lack of charm honor or grace and the awful knowledge that throughout your entire life
19:22No one has ever truly liked you because you are so fundamentally unlikable. Oh
19:28That
19:29Please don't interrupt sir. I'm only halfway through my list
19:33Now, where was I? I think he's got the point
19:37God I'm such a mess
19:40Trouble with it quicksand we're being sucked down
19:43Can't get any lift, but they're keeping a stable ten minutes while they burn out
19:47Okay, I say let's get into the jet-powered rocket pants and junior bird man the hell out of here
19:52An excellent and inventive suggestion sir with just two tiny drawbacks a we don't have any jet-powered rocket
20:00And be there's no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the outside the fictional serial Robbie rocket pants
20:08Well, let's put a crimp on an otherwise damn fine plan
20:12Hang on I'm getting a powerful energy emission
20:16And your lives will be spared
20:19My quarrel is not with you. It's with that
20:23Excremental smear who cowers amongst you if you attempt to shield him
20:28Then I shall unleash the full terrible fury of my hooded hordes against you you are
20:35Where are you going?
20:37Where do you think I'm going you heard him if I don't hand myself over? He's gonna throw everything. He's got at Starbuck
20:41What you're really gonna. Give yourself up. No. I'm going down to the engine rooms to cower behind one of the boilers
20:47I suggest you all find ingenious places to tremble behind to if you want my opinion the only way anyone's gonna get out of here
20:53Alive is by working out somewhere killing that thing, but how the bazooka oids were totally ineffective against it. It's invulnerable
20:58We're finished. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done
21:01The bazooka oids were totally ineffective against it. It's invulnerable. We're finished
21:09Crease retros to max
21:12Wait a minute
21:16This is all your fault, you know you little glob of tuberculotic sputum
21:24Interesting
21:26Sir you are a cruddy little scud ball with all the innate lovability of an itchy Veruca
21:35Excellent mr. Lister cat confabulation in the cockpit not you sir
21:44Sirs I think I have it the real enemy is not out there. It is in Starbuck with us the real enemy is inside
21:51Mr.. Rimmer's head nice plan, so we remove his head and everything's cool, right?
21:56Wait a minute
21:58That's gone right up my flagpole that I was crying. I'm saluting that one what?
22:03When we first drove back the beast in the cavern it wasn't the bazooka oids fire that forced him into the pit
22:08It was when you told room that we wouldn't desert him precisely so if you can make room to feel wanted feel cared about
22:14We can make him feel good about himself somehow restore his self-esteem and his pride that will automatically vanquish the self-loathing beast
22:22Or at least debilitate it long enough for us to break free of this quicksand and get off this godforsaken
22:27Simon how do we make him feel good?
22:30What is there about him to feel good about?
22:32We've got to tell him we love him. Oh, you're sick
22:35I want no part of this depravity, and he must not suspect we are insincere our lives depend on it ready
22:43I'll never be ready
22:52Listen we've been talking and the three of us have decided to stay with you and face the danger
22:57All for one and that you know really sir. I just like to take this opportunity to say that you're a very beautiful person
23:05What he means is that we're all facing certain death here, and I think it's about time
23:08We let you know exactly how we feel about each other you think that's a good idea. It's just that guys generally aren't
23:15Terrific you know
23:17Expressing their feelings yeah, they kid around and insult each other and stuff and what they really mean is
23:23Well, they can't see the stuff. They really mean. What are you trying to tell me?
23:26Just trying to say that whatever happens here. I want you to know I
23:31Really care about you
23:37We all do sir
23:41It's true. They really do care about you
23:45Only this morning you referred to me as a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity
23:50In an affectionate way
23:53In a kidding around joke and friendly affectionate way sir what he's trying to say is we may never get another opportunity to
23:59Articulate our feelings and I for one would just like to take this opportunity to say that you're a a splendid man and a much
24:05respected colleague and a gosh darn it damn good friend
24:11We're getting some lift wait a minute I
24:15Know why you're doing this going down. You're trying to make me feel guilty aren't you?
24:19It's a transparent attempt to shame me into doing the honorable thing
24:26Well why is it that our numbers up here, and I don't want to go out without setting the record straight
24:31it's not easy to say this one man to another but I
24:35Love you, man. I really really love ya
24:40Going up
24:41I think it might be a good idea at this time if we try and get into a kind of four-way hug situation
24:47What's wrong with you, I don't think people touch enough sir. I think people should touch more. I love you Arnie go
24:53This is a beautiful man big man beautiful moment. You're a big man. Oh, we love you AJ quick get in the cockpit
25:00There's something very strange happening out there
25:02Charge my hordes of darkness bring me the head of the despicable one
25:19Take that self-doubt
25:32I
25:34Like the dog you are mistrust feel my blade loneliness may your foulness rot in hell
25:4820 meters that's enough for a liftoff. We're almost clear
25:51It was all baloney wasn't it
25:54Oh
25:55All that hugging stuff back there. It was just a way of escaping wasn't it I mean you didn't really feel that deep down
26:01I'm an okay sort of bloke, but I'm not such a bad old stick once you get to know me
26:05You didn't really mean any of that. Did you?
26:09No
26:21Oh
26:51You