Taskmaster Season17 Episode10
Category
📺
TVTranscription
00:00 (musique)
00:02 (musique)
00:04 (musique)
00:06 - You can do it! - Yes!
00:08 - Ha!
00:09 - Ah!
00:10 - Ah!
00:11 - Quite windy, Steve. - Yeah.
00:15 - Christ. - Oh! Wrong way!
00:18 - That's how you do it, baby. - OK.
00:21 - Oh, my God!
00:23 - Yeah! - Oh!
00:26 (applaudissements)
00:29 (...)
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01:27 - Yes. - Yes. And this week, they've brought in...
01:30 the most splendid spherical thing. - Ooh!
01:34 - We're looking for a solid all-rounder, and Greg will give five points for the most splendid spherical thing.
01:38 The winner of the episode will take home five splendid spheres,
01:42 or a handful of brilliant balls, or just under half a dozen cracking orbs.
01:46 Right, Steve, hello. What's your splendid spherical thing?
01:49 - The most splendid spherical thing I wanted to bring you was the moon.
01:55 - Obviously, I couldn't do that, so I made you one.
01:59 - Made me the moon. - I made the moon.
02:01 - This is Steve making the moon.
02:02 - I made it myself in my own back garden,
02:05 and then, over the course of a weekend, transformed it into this.
02:10 - Wonderful moon.
02:13 - It's a bit of a blue moon.
02:25 - It's spectacular, Steve. - Yeah.
02:27 And these craters were created, obviously, by gas erupting through...
02:31 - Oh! He saw through the science. - Yeah.
02:35 - I mean, Steve, I'm speechless.
02:37 If I'd have had 1,000 guesses,
02:40 I wouldn't have got you doing an art-laden moon.
02:44 - Yes. So, do you recognise the specificity of the mooning in the crater?
02:49 - It is me. It was taken by Sam Campbell. There we go.
02:52 - Well done, Steve. That's going to take some beating, I tell you.
02:57 And I'm not a betting man,
03:00 but I know the woman least likely to beat it.
03:04 Or am I wrong?
03:07 - I've got a mystic ball.
03:10 - You've got one there, haven't you? - Oh!
03:13 I've just in my head said, "Will Nick win Taskmaster?"
03:17 It says, "Very likely." It says, "Broken."
03:21 - "Will Greg find love?"
03:24 "Cannot foretell, but know."
03:27 - "Cannot foretell, but know."
03:30 You've added the "know," yeah?
03:32 - I added the "know." It felt more appropriate.
03:35 - My niece has got one of those. - They're good, aren't they?
03:38 - Yeah.
03:40 - Jon? - Greg, you and I are both childless men.
03:45 - Thank you.
03:47 LAUGHTER
03:49 - Nice to know I'll never find love.
03:52 And to be reminded that the line stops with me.
03:55 - I see that as a positive that affords us certain luxuries.
03:59 - Correct.
04:01 - So I have brought you a giant honeycomb ball covered in chocolate.
04:06 LAUGHTER
04:08 - I have a very specific technique with the honeycomb balls
04:11 covered in chocolate.
04:13 I'll pop some coffee in my mouth.
04:15 Then I'll pop the sphere in.
04:19 And I'll allow the coffee to melt through to the honeycomb.
04:22 And I've already thought, looking at that,
04:24 I'm going to have to chuck a cup of coffee on.
04:27 - You can slice the top off,
04:29 pour the coffee in, and then suck it out.
04:32 LAUGHTER
04:34 - Keep talking, you silver-tongued devil.
04:36 LAUGHTER
04:38 - Nick. - Hi, Greg. I would say I'm somewhere between Sophie and Jon.
04:41 - In terms of quality? - In terms of quality.
04:44 - OK. - But, yeah.
04:46 LAUGHTER
04:49 - I've brought in bath pearls.
04:52 - Oh! - Here they are.
04:54 - Absolutely wonderful.
04:56 Very big in the '80s.
04:58 LAUGHTER
05:00 I think peaked in the '90s. No, no, no, hang on, hang on, Greg.
05:03 - Honest to God, gut instinct?
05:05 I think this is going to do worse than Sophie.
05:07 LAUGHTER
05:09 - I'll tell you the reason why I love them.
05:11 It's a very specific memory from childhood.
05:13 In my mum and dad's house, there's a little room,
05:15 which is called the spare room.
05:18 - Ooh! That's an interesting name for it.
05:21 - And at Christmas time,
05:23 mum and dad would, like, kind of get ahead
05:25 and they'd wrap up some presents,
05:27 and it always used to smell of bath pearls, that room.
05:29 - Oh. - Is that it?
05:31 LAUGHTER
05:33 - Joanne. - I honestly don't think I can follow bath pearls.
05:36 - You can.
05:38 LAUGHTER
05:40 - So, my present this week, it's a Globe bar.
05:43 I mean, I know you like a drink, I like a drink.
05:47 Why not get pissed on top of the world?
05:49 LAUGHTER
05:51 And then vomit on Wales, or whatever you like to do.
05:54 - Which would mean me here, yeah? - Well, yeah, whatever.
05:56 - OK, yeah, yeah. - We could put a woman in it, if you like.
05:58 - That would be interesting. - Nick in a wig.
06:00 LAUGHTER
06:02 - I'll do that.
06:04 - Pop out for your birthday.
06:06 - I mean, it does make the prize more exciting to me.
06:09 If I opened it to get myself a drink and Nick was in there.
06:12 - Yeah! - With some bath pearls.
06:14 - With some bath pearls.
06:16 - OK. - Five spirit spheres. - You ready?
06:18 - Yes. Oh, pointing already. - Yeah.
06:20 - Sorry. One point for your rubbish bath pearls.
06:22 - That's all right.
06:24 - You'll take two points and thank me for it.
06:26 - Two to Sophie. - Three? Incredible.
06:28 I mean, you can't have thought you'd get three for that tat.
06:31 - What? I thought he was going to win.
06:33 I was so confident. I bought a bar.
06:35 Like, what do you want?
06:37 - He wants the moon. - He wants the moon!
06:40 LAUGHTER
06:42 - I'll do that.
06:44 - Obviously, John's mega chocolate-covered honeycomb ball
06:49 will take four points. - Lovely. Well done, John.
06:51 - And, you know, who could deny him five points?
06:53 - Well done, Steve. Bam, and there it is.
06:55 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:57 - Right, what's first, Alex?
07:02 - Well, I just can't believe it's that time of year again.
07:04 It's the greatest day in the Gregorian, David's calendar.
07:07 This one's for the little guys.
07:09 LAUGHTER
07:11 MUSIC PLAYS
07:13 ...
07:15 ...
07:17 - Nice.
07:20 ...
07:22 ...
07:24 - Hello.
07:26 - All right.
07:28 - Oh, it smells nice in here.
07:30 It smells like a...
07:32 - This is where I stay.
07:34 - This is where the magic doesn't happen.
07:36 - Sometimes happens.
07:38 - Sure.
07:40 - Is this where you live?
07:43 - No, this is me.
07:45 - That's very sweet.
07:47 - You've got a calendar out? - Mm.
07:49 - Oh.
07:51 - That's sad, isn't it?
07:53 - Sleep. - Sleep by a tree. - Yeah.
07:55 - Create a new tradition to celebrate Assistants... Day.
08:00 - Most notable new tradition wins.
08:03 - You must demonstrate your tradition in the next 30 minutes.
08:07 Your time starts now.
08:09 - Guy Fawkes has his fireworks for me.
08:11 - He does.
08:13 - People like me don't have anything at the moment.
08:15 - No, you don't. No, no, no.
08:18 - What day is Assistants' Day?
08:20 - Look in the calendar.
08:22 - Ah! April the 20th.
08:24 - There is an Assistants' Day, an official, professional...
08:26 - Right.
08:28 - Well, this is going to help us a little bit.
08:30 - Yeah. - Oh!
08:32 - Christ. It's my fault. - Yeah, it's OK.
08:34 - I feel like Assistants' Day is for one day you are the assis-tud.
08:38 - So you'll help me.
08:40 - There was a man called Butch... - Yeah.
08:42 - ...who broke this table. - Really?
08:45 - Yeah. - OK.
08:47 - Big guy.
08:49 - I'm trying to think about you. You've got your beard,
08:51 you've got your clipboard.
08:53 - Personality?
08:55 - You've got a great personality.
08:57 Um...
08:59 - Have a little walk and a little think.
09:01 - Mm-hm.
09:03 APPLAUSE
09:05 - I hope you didn't...
09:07 - You come up on the sleigh and you can meet somebody.
09:10 - You come up on the sleigh and you can meet Alex.
09:12 That's what a nice guy he is.
09:14 But I hope this task that he's set, um,
09:16 once and for all,
09:18 reveals what a disgusting egomaniac...
09:20 I'm going to... absolute narcissist he is.
09:22 - Hmm.
09:24 - But I'm happy to let you have your moment.
09:26 Assistants' Day it is. - Thanks, Greg.
09:28 - Let's crack on. - OK.
09:30 First to celebrate Assistants' Day are Soph and Steef.
09:34 - Here we go.
09:36 - Right. So what I've got is, like, a song
09:39 that on Assistants' Day people sing.
09:41 So nobody's got a choice.
09:43 You could even start and Greg would have to join in.
09:45 Anybody.
09:47 - Oh!
09:49 - Steve. - Hey! How are you?
09:51 - Not bad. - Good seeing you.
09:53 - April the 20th, isn't it? - April 20th today, yeah.
09:55 - One, two, three, go.
09:57 # Pick that box, cross off the lid
09:59 # Do-la-do, do-la-do
10:01 # Assistants' Day. #
10:03 - Hm!
10:05 LAUGHTER
10:08 - Oh. Oh, no.
10:10 - Happy Assistants' Day.
10:12 - Hey, speaking of which, you know what we've got to do
10:14 on 20th April, don't you?
10:16 - The tradition. - Right. You ready for it, then?
10:18 - I'm ready. I love it. - You got it?
10:20 - I've got it.
10:22 - Oh!
10:24 - # On Assistants' Day
10:26 # We shout hooray
10:28 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:30 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:32 #
10:35 - Ah!
10:37 - # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:39 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:41 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:43 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:45 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:47 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:49 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:51 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:53 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:55 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:57 # We drink a toast to helping folk
10:59 # We drink a toast to helping folk
11:02 # We drink a toast to helping folk
11:04 # We drink a toast to helping folk
11:06 #
11:09 - I mean, I imagine there are PAs across the land
11:11 screaming into their hands.
11:13 - That's just the song.
11:15 - Assistants get to sing that song.
11:17 - Tick that box, check off the list, deliver.
11:19 - Yeah, but we saw it.
11:21 - It's a reminder of how busy they are.
11:23 - Right. Is it something you'd enjoy doing?
11:26 - I did enjoy doing it.
11:28 - Once a year for ten seconds?
11:30 - Both of those things made me very happy.
11:32 - I think great minds think alike.
11:34 I think it's what kicks off Assistants' Day.
11:36 - What, a forward roll with a glass of water?
11:38 - Yes!
11:40 - You did promise me you knew the trick
11:42 where you could do a roly-poly and keep the glass of water full.
11:44 - Yes, I did. - Neither of us could do that.
11:46 - No.
11:48 - My God.
11:51 What a terrible start.
11:53 Right, well, that's the end of part one.
11:55 - And there'll be more Assistants' Day celebrations
11:57 coming up in part two.
11:59 Thanks, guys.
12:01 - Lovely to... - Oh!
12:03 Rires
12:05 ...
12:07 ...
12:09 ...
12:11 - Hello and welcome to Taskmaster,
12:13 where, for some grim vain reason,
12:15 we're celebrating the man next to me.
12:17 Not satisfied with flogging the format around the world, are you?
12:20 - Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da.
12:22 - Assistants' Day.
12:24 Now it's time for some more admin adulation with John and Joanne.
12:28 - What an assistant loves more than anything else on Earth is paper.
12:32 It's your photocopier, it's your printer, it's your to-do list.
12:36 So come over here, cos we're gonna make you
12:38 your Assistants' Day paper suit.
12:40 - Great.
12:42 - So you're just gonna chill out today
12:45 and enjoy your Assistants' Day.
12:47 And just to make sure you don't try and assist,
12:49 cos that is your natural way...
12:51 - OK. - We're gonna go and say no to the bad man.
12:54 - Right.
12:56 Shoulder to elbow, please.
13:00 33 centimetres, wasn't it? - Mm-hm.
13:02 - Just need to sew these together.
13:04 There we go.
13:06 - Here he is, OK?
13:08 Repeat after me.
13:10 No! - No!
13:12 - I'm my own man today.
13:15 - I am... I am my...
13:17 - Own man. - I am my own man today.
13:19 - Not today, Satan.
13:21 - Come on, it's your day.
13:23 - I am my own man today.
13:25 - Not today, Satan.
13:27 - Come on, it's your day.
13:29 - Not today, Satan.
13:31 - Good boy. - Yeah?
13:33 - You're doing so well today.
13:35 - And we do this every...? - Once a year.
13:37 - Once a year.
13:39 - Now, you're gonna have to assist me a bit
13:42 while you're in the pram cos it's... you're heavy.
13:44 - Is it a pram? - Yes, of course it's a pram.
13:46 What else is it? - I thought it was a regal trolley.
13:48 - Tomato, tomato.
13:50 ...
13:52 Rires
13:56 ...
13:59 Applaudissements
14:01 ...
14:03 - No! - No!
14:05 - No! - No assisting today, it's my day!
14:07 - No!
14:09 - But you are gonna have to get me my lunch, though.
14:11 - Oh, really? - Yeah.
14:13 - You want it now? - Yeah.
14:15 - Wait there, I'll get the menus.
14:17 - Will you help me out? No.
14:19 ...
14:21 - Take a load off your boxes.
14:23 - Cheers. - Cheers.
14:26 - Thank you so much.
14:28 ...
14:30 I love assistance day.
14:32 ...
14:34 Applaudissements
14:36 ...
14:38 - Not today, Satan, yeah?
14:40 - Yeah.
14:42 - I mean, I sort of get... I get the logic.
14:44 Why should they have to walk on that special day?
14:46 - Exactly, and Alex is...
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35:25 Applaudissements.
35:27 Applaudissements.
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35:31 Applaudissements.
35:33 J'ai eu un peu de doute quand tu m'as dit « C'était bien ».
35:35 J'avais un peu de doute. Je crois que j'ai été vraiment fixé sur le truc de la feuille de parti.
35:41 Mais j'ai adoré le truc de la feuille de parti.
35:43 Moi aussi, mais c'était la seule chose que ça pouvait faire.
35:45 Pas vraiment. Le monocle s'est installé.
35:50 C'est vrai.
35:51 Il y a eu beaucoup de parts qui ont été déplacées à ce visage. Je crois que je suis trop amoureux de ça.
35:55 Je suis d'accord avec ça.
35:57 Est-ce que Leslie, la femme de la mi-vie, est-ce qu'elle vient de Sesame Street ?
36:03 Je m'attendais à quelque chose de plus réaliste.
36:08 Je me suis dit que je me serais attiré par une lutte de femme.
36:12 Quelqu'un qui a vécu quelque chose.
36:14 Et puis, il y avait juste un gouin avec un feuille de parti et deux gros...
36:18 Deux gros bords de bois qui se sont mis sur le dos de sa tête.
36:22 Je crois que tu l'as vu, n'est-ce pas ?
36:24 Je l'ai vu.
36:25 Elle était là.
36:26 Elle était là.
36:27 J'ai apprécié.
36:29 Qu'il soit bas de score.
36:31 Ok.
36:32 C'est la troisième partie de ce fin de vidéo.
36:34 Il y a une balle de chocolat énorme et un soleil qui se lève pour se faire courir.
36:38 On se revoit bientôt.
36:40 Musique
36:44 Musique
36:48 Bonjour, c'est le Battle of Ireland.
36:50 Il reste encore un défi à accomplir dans le laboratoire.
36:53 Oui, c'est vrai.
36:54 Notre cast essaie de faire que le dos de leur tête ressemble à celui du devant de leur tête.
36:57 Le plus caractéristique du dos du devant de leur tête gagne.
37:00 Steve Pemberton et Joanne McNally sont les prochaines.
37:02 Oh, et ici ils viennent tout de suite.
37:04 Musique
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47:20 ♪ ♪ ♪