Agha Or Saleem Goga Ko Gutter Se Nikaalne Mai Nakam, Shehbaz Sharif Ka Muhalle Mai Taraqyati Kam
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00:00 "Hoshiyaariyaan, Hoshiyaariyaan."
00:02 Hello, viewers. I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching Hoshiyaariyaan.
00:05 Friends, today I will tell you where you can get the most expensive biryani plate in the world.
00:11 You must be thinking that it must be a very rich country.
00:14 It must be a Norway-type country.
00:15 It must be America or Japan.
00:17 There must be a rice plate there.
00:18 This is not the case.
00:20 And you must be thinking that how much biryani plate can be in Pakistan?
00:24 2000.
00:25 What can be more than this?
00:26 You are wrong.
00:27 There is a biryani plate worth crores and billions of rupees.
00:31 The plate that voters eat during the elections.
00:36 Each and every bite costs lakhs of rupees.
00:40 There is a tradition that a candidate came to his voter and told him
00:44 to give him 2000 rupees for voting.
00:46 He said, "You keep 2000 rupees.
00:49 Take the money from me but get me a nice donkey."
00:52 When the candidate went to the market to buy a donkey
00:56 and found out that a nice donkey costs 50-60 thousand rupees.
01:00 When he came back, he said that it costs 50-60 thousand rupees.
01:03 The voter replied, "You want to buy me for 2000 rupees
01:08 when you can't even buy a donkey for that much.
01:10 When will we know that our real value is our future?
01:16 If we are getting 2000 rupees in return for voting,
01:19 then if you divide it by 5 years,
01:21 you can destroy your life for a few rupees.
01:25 It's good for you. You are an adult. You vote.
01:27 You sell your children's future for a biryani plate.
01:32 Think about it. Let's start today's show with this.
01:35 Today, we will take you to the locality and see what is going on.
01:39 - Nothing is happening. - Move aside.
01:42 - It's moving. - What happened?
01:44 - There is a lot of money. - Really?
01:48 Look at him. He is tired.
01:51 - He was so tired. - Tell us the story of the money.
01:56 He is tired. He is here.
02:00 First, he will take the number and then he will come.
02:02 - Is there water in the gutter? - No.
02:04 - There must be mud in the gutter. - No.
02:06 - There is dry carpet in the gutter. - Save me.
02:10 - Hold his hand. - No. You hold it.
02:13 I think he is lying here.
02:18 - What happened? - There is no place for him inside.
02:22 - Move aside. They are stopping me. - They are stopping us too.
02:30 They are stopping the gutter from all the way inside.
02:34 Save me. I am dead.
02:36 What should we do?
02:38 - They are following the old people. - I told you to move aside.
02:41 - Hold his hand. - Hold on. I will arrange for the rope.
02:45 - What happened? - Move aside. I will move ahead.
02:50 - Hold his hand. - Come.
02:55 - I am breathing. - Move aside.
03:00 - He will stop wherever you are. - I am dead.
03:05 I told you to move aside.
03:09 - Hold on. - Hold on.
03:14 Come here. Wait a minute.
03:18 I will get the rope.
03:21 - Get up. - What happened?
03:26 - My rope is stuck. I am dead. - I don't know where it is stuck.
03:33 - Hold the rope. - Don't touch the rope.
03:37 - Why? - It is mine.
03:39 - I will get it fixed. - What is your name?
03:43 - My name is Akshara. - What is your age?
03:45 - I am 45. - What do you do?
03:49 - I work at night. - What kind of a scoundrel are you?
03:52 Do you want to cut me from the gutter or give me a marriage proposal?
03:55 Hold on. Give me the rope. I will get the rope.
03:59 My rope is stuck. Get me out.
04:03 - Your rope is stuck? - Yes.
04:05 Then tie the rope to the neck. Why are you tying it to the neck?
04:07 - Who is the widow? - I am the widow.
04:10 My rope is bad. I will get the rope.
04:14 - Get out. - I am getting out.
04:18 - Get the boy out. - Come on.
04:21 - Come on. - He is out.
04:28 - I will get him out. - He is out.
04:33 - He is just like me. - I think it's been a year and a half.
04:37 The people of the locality have not left the water.
04:40 Look at his condition.
04:42 He went to the gutter and the lava came out.
04:45 He is stuck in the five star gutter in front of our anchor.
04:49 Oh, no. Look how much dirt he is getting.
04:54 No, he is a mountain.
04:56 - How much plastic waste is there in your locality? - Wait.
04:59 Look, shoppers are coming out.
05:01 I thought it was his mobile.
05:04 - He was with him. - Wait.
05:07 - If you have to, tie him to the gutter. - You are right.
05:10 Mr. Arun, you must remember that Khaki Covers campaign was going on.
05:14 But again, shoppers are coming out.
05:16 The reason is that you can start any campaign.
05:19 You can put as much effort as you want.
05:21 You can teach people.
05:23 You can tell them.
05:24 Until there are no punishments, there will be no fines.
05:27 There is no use. We do half-hearted work.
05:30 We are half-baked.
05:31 We are holding on to the helmet.
05:35 After a few days, they are already roaming around.
05:37 Until you make a law on a solid basis
05:42 and punishments are not seen,
05:44 there is no use of any campaign.
05:46 This campaign was very expensive for the people.
05:49 - Okay. - Even after buying things worth Rs. 4000,
05:51 the next person asked if I would give them a shopping bag.
05:53 Yes, they sold bags worth Rs. 10 for Rs. 100.
05:57 - They asked me to get a shopper. - You are right.
05:59 They even asked me to get a yogurt seller.
06:01 I said, "Come, I will get you a shopper."
06:03 Mr. Arun, these are milk and yogurt shops.
06:05 They should have given it to the plastic shoppers.
06:08 Otherwise, how would they sell it?
06:09 For that, we have a degradable,
06:11 bio-friendly plastic.
06:15 - Okay. - You can use it.
06:16 You can throw it anywhere.
06:18 It will decompose and go back to the soil.
06:20 It is biodegradable.
06:21 - Sir, I have given him a bed. - Yes.
06:26 It is a gutter bed.
06:27 You are talking too much.
06:32 Sir, if you want a shopper, get him from inside.
06:36 Mr. Arun, this gutter has been our den for the past one and a half years.
06:39 - Okay. - People come and go.
06:41 They are worried.
06:41 Believe me, I don't know how many people come here.
06:44 - Take him out. - Hold him.
06:48 Uncle, you hold him.
06:51 He is a young man.
06:53 Oh, my legs are stuck.
06:55 Oh, I think he is dirty.
06:58 He won't go out even if he breaks his legs.
07:01 He is a young man. He will go out.
07:04 Uncle, why don't you come out?
07:07 Look, the politicians will vote now.
07:09 - Yes. - Everyone will come to our den.
07:11 I am telling you.
07:12 I won't let any politician come here.
07:15 - Why? - He sleeps at home at night.
07:17 - Yes. - He is a bad man.
07:18 - Look. - Okay.
07:19 He is a very bad man.
07:21 - With every city. - Yes.
07:22 With every town. With every district.
07:24 - He ruins everything. - He ruins the walls.
07:27 I have nothing to do with the Noon League.
07:30 - Yes. - He is a bad man.
07:32 - He is not a Noon League. - What?
07:34 He is a member of Jamaat Salamiya.
07:35 This is a people's party.
07:37 This is Tariq-e-Insaaf.
07:38 He is a bad man.
07:40 Why do you like Tariq-e-Insaaf?
07:42 - He is a bad man. - Yes.
07:43 - He is my friend. - Okay.
07:46 He is scolding you.
07:48 Mr. Haroon, we have been coming here for the past two years.
07:52 Since then, they welcome Nazim and Naib.
07:56 Welcome. But they have been punished.
07:59 - They are protesting. - Yes.
08:00 They are protesting that the broken drains
08:02 will not be the only street in Amarpura for 30 years.
08:06 - Oh, God. - I suggest that we should
08:08 - check his pockets first. - Why?
08:11 He is a bad man.
08:13 Mr. Haroon, they are not hospitable.
08:15 - Why? - No one has asked for water.
08:19 What is this? Why are you so late?
08:21 I was coming from work.
08:23 You are late because you are late.
08:26 But you should check once. Are your legs moving?
08:30 Yes, ma'am. But I can't walk.
08:32 Uncle, when we were 12-13 years old, we were not that fast.
08:37 - You were fast even when you were 17. - Yes.
08:39 - What happened last night? - I was coming from work.
08:42 - Okay. - I had six children.
08:44 - Yes. - I was alone.
08:46 - Why? - Where were they?
08:47 - They were in Darjan. - No.
08:48 They ate inside Darjan at night.
08:51 I was afraid that they would eat inside Darjan.
08:56 Such people have a problem.
08:57 They must have thought that if they die inside, they will be wasted.
09:00 Darjan is eating bananas. Are you a grass?
09:04 Why are you eating fruits?
09:07 - I am eating children. - Children live here.
09:09 There are no children here.
09:13 How dare you go there?
09:15 - I will... - I am Lata.
09:17 - I will... - I am Lata. Who pulled you?
09:19 If you notice all this,
09:22 I don't know why, but I think it has a metaphorical value.
09:26 - Like what? - Like...
09:28 Our rulers and politicians
09:31 have a deep-rooted problem.
09:33 - Yes. - Yes.
09:34 The people are trapped in it.
09:36 - Yes. - They can't even leave.
09:38 They are trapped.
09:40 The people are doing their best to help each other.
09:44 - Yes. - Yes.
09:45 And no one is listening.
09:47 Mr. Haroon, the government is watching the drama.
09:50 The fat government.
09:51 How do you think this is a government?
09:53 Our government should never wear these clothes.
09:56 - You should visit their palaces. - Right.
09:58 You should see their wonderful lifestyle.
10:00 But they have an attitude.
10:02 - That's the attitude. - Attitude.
10:03 And look at it.
10:06 Who is the most satisfied?
10:08 The one who says, "A politician knows me."
10:10 Yes.
10:12 The one who is not satisfied,
10:14 he thinks he is a fool.
10:16 Congratulations. Your father said the first thing.
10:20 (Laughs)
10:22 (Applause)
10:24 - Listen. - Yes.
10:25 I am not going anywhere.
10:28 (Laughs)
10:29 - Look at him. - I am looking.
10:32 I think he is trapped.
10:34 (Laughs)
10:35 - We have to save humanity. - Yes.
10:37 - You are saving half of humanity. - How?
10:40 I am inside.
10:41 (Laughs)
10:43 I am trapped. He is pulling my legs.
10:46 There is someone else inside.
10:48 (Laughs)
10:50 Don't worry.
10:51 He is pulling the legs of his partner.
10:53 (Laughs)
10:54 - Straighten the rent. - Yes.
10:56 - You will get 50,000 rupees. - Yes.
10:59 The poor will get the rent.
11:01 (Laughs)
11:01 Straighten the rent.
11:04 Yes.
11:05 - It will be straight. - He is so comfortable.
11:07 - Hold him. - Hello.
11:08 - Yes. - What is happening here?
11:10 He is a stranger. Hello.
11:12 He is not a stranger. He knows me.
11:14 (Laughs)
11:16 You are blind. Can't you see?
11:18 He is trapped.
11:20 He was going to teach me a lesson.
11:23 (Laughs)
11:25 - Yes. - All the instruments are talking.
11:29 I am not responsible for all the accidents.
11:31 (Laughs)
11:33 I mean if someone is trapped
11:36 he should have told me not to use the tap,
11:38 not to wash the utensils and clothes.
11:40 The water was hot. I thought he was a fool.
11:42 (Laughs)
11:43 - Were you washing the utensils? - Yes.
11:45 How do you know?
11:46 Sir, I have such a bone.
11:48 (Laughs)
11:49 He is trapped in the gutter.
11:51 - Yes. - He is silent.
11:52 - He has opened a shop in the morning. - Yes.
11:54 He has bought a kilo of curd.
11:57 (Laughs)
11:58 He is not ready.
12:00 He is a customer.
12:02 (Laughs)
12:03 Sir, he is a customer.
12:05 He is not used to using the tap.
12:07 - Sir, I have taken a bath. - No.
12:10 No one will bathe.
12:11 (Laughs)
12:12 No.
12:12 You don't bathe.
12:13 - Will the pool have a bath? - No.
12:15 - Anyway. - No one will bathe.
12:17 - He is a liar. - Yes.
12:19 - The water will come. - Sir, don't do it.
12:20 - He will break his face. - Look at him.
12:23 - Why? - He thinks he is a fool.
12:25 (Laughs)
12:26 Look, the gutter is not working.
12:28 No one comes here.
12:30 Sister, I came. Tell me what is the problem?
12:32 (Laughs)
12:34 - Look at him. - Yes.
12:36 He has pulled the rope. He is starting the generator.
12:38 (Laughs)
12:39 - Don't do it. - Leave the rope.
12:41 Let him wear it. He will get a tail.
12:42 (Laughs)
12:43 - Sir. - He thinks my son is a thief.
12:48 Welcome.
12:51 Are you happy? Are you able to do all the work?
12:53 Yes. We are happy.
12:54 We are not able to do the work of the one we have trapped.
12:56 What work do you have?
12:57 The poor man was trapped in the gutter.
12:59 He didn't want to bathe.
13:00 He left the place.
13:02 No one came here.
13:03 No one asked him.
13:04 Be happy. Be happy.
13:06 - What should I be happy about? - Congratulations.
13:09 What are you congratulating me for?
13:10 Your gutter is working.
13:12 I want to bathe.
13:13 It is amazing.
13:14 I mean your gutter is working.
13:17 Are you going to tie me up?
13:19 Your gutter is working.
13:21 Am I a gutter?
13:23 Listen to me.
13:24 Your gutter is working.
13:26 You are talking.
13:27 You are not a queen.
13:30 (Laughs)
13:31 Look, the flower seller has come.
13:32 There is no problem.
13:34 - Tie him up. - Okay.
13:36 Give me the rope.
13:37 Come inside. I want to tie him up.
13:39 Let me tie him up.
13:42 (Laughs)
13:43 What are you doing?
13:44 I can't go inside.
13:47 Where are you going?
13:48 - Why are you going out? - Inside.
13:50 How can I stay inside?
13:51 You are trapped inside.
13:53 Do something about him.
13:54 He is stuck inside.
13:56 Put everyone inside.
13:57 Do something about him.
13:59 Because it is important to tie him up in the next five minutes.
14:02 Otherwise, he will be left without a gutter.
14:05 - Yes. - Sir, Mr. Mian.
14:06 What Mr. Mian?
14:07 Mr. Mian is coming here to support his candidate.
14:11 Mr. Mian is coming to tie him up?
14:14 - Yes. - Yes.
14:14 Everyone has a plan.
14:16 - What? - You will start this plan.
14:19 - This is not a small thing. - Then?
14:21 One gutter will be filled with bricks.
14:23 - Will there be a gutter here? - Obviously.
14:25 (Laughs)
14:26 I think there will be a gutter here.
14:31 If Mr. Mian is coming to fill the gutter..
14:34 - Yes. - ..then Mr. Mian will come.
14:36 - Yes. - Come on.
14:39 (Helicopter whirring)
14:42 - Put him inside. - Come on.
14:43 - Mr. Mian is here. - He is here.
14:45 - Come on. - He is here.
14:47 Mr. Mian is here.
14:48 Keep him inside.
14:51 Wait. Let me tie him up.
14:53 Let me tie him up.
14:55 Sir, Raj will not come.
14:57 He will die.
14:59 - He is half dead. - Yes.
15:01 - Mr. Mian! - He is alive.
15:03 - Mr. Mian! - He is alive.
15:05 - Mr. Mian! - He is alive.
15:07 - Greetings, Mr. Mian. - Greetings.
15:09 - Greetings. - What are you saying?
15:13 I will not spare anyone.
15:15 I will put a lid on the entire gutter.
15:19 Do one thing. Keep putting the lid.
15:21 I am putting it.
15:22 Do one thing. Keep putting the lid.
15:25 And..
15:26 - Keep putting the lid. - Mr. Mian's..
15:28 - ..name will be changed. - ..lid of the gutter..
15:30 - ..will be changed. - ..will be changed.
15:31 Yes.
15:33 Mr. Mian, you have changed Lahore's map.
15:36 Look, Lahore is looking so beautiful.
15:39 What are you saying? You are a prince.
15:42 Is this your village?
15:44 No, Mr. Mian. This is my village.
15:45 - Go back. - Go back.
15:47 Mr. Mian, do something about me.
15:51 Keep quiet. Keep quiet.
15:52 I am doing something about you.
15:53 - Mr. Arun. - Yes.
15:54 I will cut all the gutters in Lahore.
15:58 - No. - I don't want to cut the gutters.
16:00 Cut me out.
16:01 If you want to cut the gutters, you can cut them wherever you want.
16:05 Look, Mr. Arun.
16:06 You are putting a lid on our work.
16:10 - Mr. Mian's name. - Will be changed.
16:11 - Mr. Mian's lid. - Will be changed.
16:13 Will be changed.
16:15 Mr. Mian.
16:18 He has changed everything.
16:19 He is giving all the witnesses a lid.
16:21 Mr. Mian, I am Akhtar, the lid.
16:25 One minute. One minute.
16:26 Mr. Arun, listen.
16:27 The lid is calling me again.
16:29 And the lid has changed its name to Akhtar.
16:31 Mr. Mian, I am Shadab's son.
16:35 Hey, Shadab is a big lid in your village.
16:39 - Oh, God. - Mr. Mian.
16:42 He is coming in your fear.
16:45 A man was trapped in the gutter.
16:47 The lid is fixed on him.
16:49 - A man is trapped in it? - Yes.
16:51 What are you saying?
16:52 You fools.
16:54 - What have you done? - Yes.
16:56 Now he has explained to him.
16:57 When this man will come out,
16:59 he will lift the lid on me.
17:03 Now do one thing.
17:04 Do one thing.
17:05 Lock this lid.
17:06 - Mr. Mian. - He has changed.
17:08 - Break the lid. - He has changed.
17:10 He has changed.
17:12 - Bring the lock. - I will bring it.
17:13 - Lock. - Bring it quickly.
17:14 Bring the lock.
17:15 Mr. Mian, you have locked it a lot.
17:17 Lock it. Lock it.
17:19 What are you doing here?
17:20 I am the owner.
17:22 You look very handsome.
17:23 Where have you come from?
17:24 I am from here.
17:26 - You have a lion on your chest. - Yes.
17:28 I feel like giving him a kiss.
17:31 Press it.
17:32 - Wow. - He has done it.
17:34 He has done it.
17:35 Mr. Mian, if you allow me.
17:37 Yes.
17:38 I will bring the lock outside and give the key to this man.
17:40 [LAUGHTER]
17:42 [APPLAUSE]
17:44 Ladies and gentlemen, there is a small break.
17:47 Don't go anywhere.
17:48 We will meet after the break.
17:49 "Don't go alone."
17:53 "Leaving your arms."
17:57 "Without you."
18:00 "What will we live?"
18:03 Mr. Mian, you are lost.
18:04 [LAUGHTER]
18:06 Mian has started dancing.
18:07 [APPLAUSE]