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AmusantTranscription
00:00 [music]
00:02 [music]
00:32 [slurping]
00:37 Yes, I do know the temperature.
00:40 Outside temperature is 98.6.
00:44 My body temperature is 63 degrees.
00:47 Heh heh.
00:49 Wait a minute.
00:50 [sirens]
00:51 [laughing]
00:52 Out of way of working man.
00:54 I try to get home.
00:55 Con, even old lady Matlow can drive down the alley without asking anyone to move.
01:01 What's that say about you?
01:02 I leave for work when you're sleeping.
01:04 I come home when you're drinking.
01:06 What that say about you?
01:07 So the man likes to drink.
01:09 So what?
01:10 It say you not get promotion.
01:12 Same old job for you.
01:14 Great new project for Con.
01:16 Come with company car.
01:17 Inflatable side curtains almost make you want to crash.
01:21 I don't need a promotion.
01:22 As assistant manager of Strickland Propane, I'm already at the top.
01:27 Yeah, okay.
01:29 I leave you to think about that one.
01:32 [engine starting]
01:35 Heh heh heh heh.
01:37 Game, set and match.
01:40 Hank Hill.
01:41 [music]
01:45 Heineken or Beck?
01:47 Beck.
01:48 Thug or light?
01:49 Thug.
01:50 Beck, thug.
01:51 Shoot, I gamble and lose.
01:53 Just have Heineken and Beck light.
01:55 No dark beer for new system manager of Coordinated Project Systems?
01:59 Oh, God.
02:01 It is finally yours.
02:04 Do you remember your last promotion?
02:06 We had pass on date all night long.
02:09 Make love to me.
02:10 No.
02:11 Ha ha ha ha.
02:14 Oh, ho.
02:17 Boy, howdy.
02:19 [music]
02:23 Where's Redneck?
02:28 So, Con, you need some propane?
02:30 Haven't they replaced you with a coin-operated machine yet?
02:34 Just give me your tank.
02:36 I need it filled to the top this time.
02:38 No more screwing me.
02:40 I have big party tomorrow to celebrate my promotion.
02:43 I'm new systems manager.
02:45 Systems manager?
02:46 Well, hell, I like the sound of that.
02:48 Debbie, that's your new title.
02:50 No.
02:51 She's not in systems.
02:52 You disrespect important job.
02:55 Well, I can't imagine anything more important than what Debbie does.
02:58 So, uh, so what kind of systems do you manage, Con?
03:02 Like a phone system?
03:04 I can't tell you.
03:06 We have big army contract.
03:08 So, Con, these phones that you answer, do they sit on a big fancy desk like in a lobby, say?
03:15 Hank, you come to work with me.
03:18 You see, it humble you.
03:20 No, I don't think so, Con.
03:22 You see, we have phones right here in the office.
03:25 I give you tour.
03:27 Maybe we give you a big propane contract.
03:31 So you're looking for a propane contractor?
03:34 Well, you know, we at Strickland Propane believe that--
03:37 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we be big client.
03:39 You sure you can handle this by yourself?
03:41 Maybe I need more senior redneck.
03:43 Uh, no, I--
03:45 But, heh, you got me there, Con.
03:48 We at Strickland Propane believe that--
03:50 Ah.
03:52 So if you could tell me a little bit about the company's propane needs, then I can--
03:57 It's all mine, Hank.
03:58 Private office.
04:00 You got such a bug in your bonner about phones.
04:03 Check this out.
04:04 I can call France on this phone whenever I want.
04:07 France, Europe, Huckleberry.
04:10 No window?
04:12 Ha, ha!
04:13 For security.
04:14 Look at this computer.
04:15 Fastest processors in the world.
04:18 Gotta do your own typing, huh?
04:21 Okay, you come with me.
04:23 Hank, you tell anyone about any of this stuff, they will hunt you down.
04:33 You got the clearance.
04:34 Nobody trust you like they trust me.
04:46 Now prepare your brain for razzle-dazzle.
04:50 Con, I don't have to play golf with you to sell you, because propane hits a hole in one every time.
04:57 Now--
04:59 Ah!
05:01 Vanilla!
05:02 Whoa.
05:03 Company created most resilient ceramic composite ever.
05:07 Army want to use it on all new tanks.
05:10 We put it on his golf club.
05:12 Bango!
05:13 Ball go 400 yards every time.
05:16 You try.
05:17 Go ahead.
05:18 Take a swing.
05:25 Oh.
05:27 Impressive?
05:28 Yeah.
05:29 Ha, ha!
05:30 You impressed with Con's great job.
05:33 Huh?
05:34 No, no I'm not.
05:36 Too late.
05:37 You say it.
05:38 Bah-ha!
05:39 You impressed.
05:40 I win.
05:41 Hm.
05:42 Now, get off my company's property.
05:45 If this is your way of negotiating, it's working.
05:48 Now, I'm prepared to offer you a 5% discount gallon.
05:53 No one want your dinosaur gas.
05:55 This whole place run on underground fuel cells that's safer and more efficient.
05:59 You mean this whole time?
06:01 Yeah.
06:02 I yank you all afternoon.
06:10 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:15 You know, this can never get back to Con, but after swinging that club, I literally felt like dancing.
06:22 You know, in Japan, a round of golf cost $12,000.
06:27 You play from rooftop to rooftop.
06:29 The balls are made out of rice somehow.
06:32 And when you're all done, you got to go home and sleep in a tube.
06:37 You know, I work in the military, and I have never even heard of that club.
06:41 Hank, do you ever have any regrets that you didn't go into systems?
06:46 Well, if I couldn't sell propane, like, like if I hit my head and went dumb and just couldn't be trusted with it,
06:53 then, yeah, I might consider going into systems, though.
07:00 The wind was really against you in the back nine, General.
07:02 No one could drive through that.
07:04 You did.
07:05 If you're going to suck up, make some sense of it, man.
07:08 Well, General, you should try that new club with the special ceramic you're developing with the composite company.
07:14 400 yards every drive.
07:17 That's what I hear.
07:20 Didn't you all know about the club?
07:23 Maybe I shouldn't have said nothing.
07:27 We're going to use that stuff on our tanks.
07:32 Private Taylor is gay.
07:36 [speaking in French]
07:42 Khan, we're terminating your contract.
07:44 It's a business call, I swear.
07:48 I pay for it, just bill me.
07:50 Khan, you broke your security agreement.
07:52 Vacate the building within four minutes.
07:55 Please.
07:56 I didn't say anything to anybody.
08:00 Aw, dang.
08:12 Hey, look, there's a taxi.
08:17 Company car trouble, Khan?
08:19 Hank Hill, you sell me out.
08:22 You blab secrets everywhere and I get fired.
08:25 I didn't...
08:26 Dale, are you posting our conversations on the Internet again?
08:30 Conversations, no.
08:32 Actions, whereabouts, your mowing schedule, no comment.
08:36 See, Khan, nobody told anybody anything.
08:41 I was having a casual conversation with the General.
08:45 I didn't know we were on the record.
08:47 Hank, I confided in you and you go tell your dog?
08:51 They were your secrets for you to keep.
08:53 Now, I'm sorry you were fired, but it was your own fault.
08:57 You sorry for Khan?
08:59 Khan's sitting pretty.
09:00 I got severance package bigger than a year off your...
09:06 Your salary.
09:12 If you focus on him, I don't even make a living wage.
09:25 Hey, Peggy, did you hear?
09:27 Khan lost his job.
09:31 Boy, it's just awful.
09:34 Well, systems is like that.
09:36 It's a crazy business.
09:38 Why'd you do it, Hank?
09:39 Do what?
09:40 Oh, good Lord, Hank.
09:42 Everybody knows you can't tell Bill anything.
09:44 Hey, don't try to make me into the bad guy.
09:47 Khan's the bad guy.
09:48 He leaked government secrets.
09:50 He's lucky they didn't shoot him.
09:52 You know who's responsible for gossip?
09:54 Gossipers.
09:55 You are nothing but a chatty Cathy, Hank.
09:58 A giant 200-pound chatty Cathy.
10:03 Hi. I heard Khan lost his job, and that reminded me I still hadn't returned your bowl.
10:11 Well, thank you for dropping by, Peggy Hill.
10:13 But we're gonna be just fine.
10:15 Something like this only make us appreciate how many things we have.
10:19 How many, many things.
10:22 Just look around you.
10:24 Take your time for Peggy Hill.
10:26 Savor, like you're in museum.
10:28 Well, very, very nice.
10:31 Bread maker.
10:33 Oh, fruit processor.
10:35 Oh, ceramic panda.
10:37 What do you know?
10:39 Well, when you need a shoulder to cry on, I am just across the yard.
10:43 As Doyle Harkavy says, "Shoulders make the best tissues."
10:48 With the marine forecast, a small...
10:58 I fill out form. I unemployed. Where my check?
11:02 I'm sorry, sir. Your past employer apparently has filed an objection.
11:07 Let's see here.
11:09 Under reason for dismissal, they checked "other" and then wrote in "treason."
11:16 Where my check?
11:17 I'm sorry. Next.
11:19 [Growls]
11:22 Shackleford, Rusty.
11:25 Here you go, Mr. Shackleford.
11:27 Thank you.
11:29 Well, all right, Con.
11:33 You know, you almost look good enough to sell propane.
11:36 You got a job interview already?
11:38 You need interview. I got job.
11:41 Good job in reprographic imaging industry.
11:45 Hey, man. I'm having a concert this Sunday.
11:51 Could I put up one of my posters in your window?
11:54 I'm gonna get out before I three-hole punch your face.
11:57 Help! I'm stuck! Mayday!
12:01 Well, well, well. How the mighty have fallen.
12:07 Anywho, this what I'm trying to do.
12:10 Combine my logo with a personal message.
12:13 You know how to work paintbrush.
12:15 Wait! First, I need you to swear that what you see here goes no further,
12:20 giving your history a blabbing about every top secret thing that comes your way.
12:25 I can't help you. I can't help any of you stupid people.
12:31 How does this machine work, Mr. Con?
12:35 How do I print? How do I save?
12:38 It control S, you morons. It's always control S.
12:42 All right, that's three strikes, Con. You're fired.
12:45 Three? That's only two.
12:47 I heard what you said to Mr. Mangione.
12:50 Oh, yeah.
12:52 See, the man can't keep a job. It's his personality, not me.
12:57 Does this mean Connie's broke, too?
12:59 They have all got nothing, Bobby. Connie, too. Nothing.
13:04 That's why I've asked Min to teach Laotian to Bobby.
13:07 It's a way to give them money without humiliating them so terribly.
13:11 Well, I suppose we could throw a couple of bucks his way.
13:17 And, uh, I mean two bucks.
13:20 Bobby, there are only four tone markers in the Laotian language.
13:26 Four. That's not so bad.
13:29 And 42 consonants and 35 vowel and vowel clusters.
13:33 Oh, Bobby, pretty soon we'll have a secret language we can speak in school.
13:38 No, Connie. I teach him Southern dialect. He not the same class.
13:43 Hey, flabbermouth! You break it, you buy it.
13:49 Peggy Hill! So glad you came.
13:55 Let me show you what designer clothes look like. Maybe you interested.
14:00 Con, I love this ceramic panda marine radio. How much?
14:06 Eh, too much for you.
14:08 No, price is too high. Just name it.
14:10 Hmm, $700.
14:12 Sold.
14:13 I mean $800.
14:14 Sold.
14:15 No! I take this off the market. Delicate equipment not for redneck.
14:19 Con, you sell him that stupid panda. We need the money.
14:23 No!
14:24 Yes! You sabotage our sale.
14:26 Gribble, make a check out to me.
14:28 With pleasure. And your name is...
14:32 Ah! Now nobody buy it. Happy?
14:37 Everyone get off my lawn. Off! And stay off or I turn hose on you.
14:43 Men, where my hose?
14:46 You went quickly.
14:47 Ah!
14:49 The man attacked his own garage sale, Peggy. He's gone insane.
14:54 Hank, you have to understand.
14:56 Con is well aware that he has been reduced to the status of a cafeteria worker.
15:01 And you, my dear, you put that hairnet on his head.
15:05 Peggy, is it my fault he makes people hate him?
15:08 I don't whisper in his ear every morning, "Be a jerk." That comes from within.
15:14 Can I have $15,000 for my lotion lesson?
15:20 $15,000 better not mean dollar.
15:24 That's it.
15:31 Hello, men. Where's Con?
15:35 Bush out through bathroom door. He lock himself in.
15:42 Nothing wrong with that. You're supposed to lock the door.
15:45 It helps avoid embarrassing mishaps.
15:48 He not talking to me.
15:50 Oh, excuse me. Things right now...
15:54 You know, this not the first time Con fired Orange County, Portland, Mississippi, for God's sake.
16:02 Well, the severance that Con told me about...
16:05 Oh, there's no severance. Hear me?
16:08 Con leaked secrets, broke the contract. We did nothing.
16:12 We lived from paycheck to paycheck, and now we broke it in a stone.
16:18 Listen, Peggy and I have just been marveling at Bobby's progress with Laotian, so...
16:26 Well, I thought I'd pay for ten lessons up front.
16:30 Yeah, good idea.
16:33 What you doing? We are not charity case.
16:39 Yes, we are. You make us one.
16:41 Oh, so now it's my fault I'm fired? I'm out of here.
16:47 [♪♪♪]
16:50 Yep.
16:59 [meows]
17:01 Mm-hmm.
17:03 Connie. Connie. Come on, Nung-Nung-Ko.
17:06 Meh. Howling no more howl.
17:09 Come on, I don't eat. Chow got to cook on.
17:12 I gotta go.
17:15 What was that about?
17:17 That was a series of vowel clusters.
17:21 Please tell me I never look that bad.
17:26 Well, Con's been gone for three days and hasn't so much as called.
17:30 I'll bet he's on an adventure.
17:32 Well, it's not him I'm thinking about.
17:34 I mean, what would you do if Dale just suddenly left you high and dry like that?
17:39 Oh, shook. I wouldn't get out of bed for a week.
17:45 [♪♪♪]
17:48 Why don't you go help her out, honey?
17:57 Well, the neighborly thing to do is to keep our distance.
18:12 Need a hand there?
18:14 Oh, I'm surrounded by trash.
18:17 Con used to say that when he looked at neighbors.
18:21 Well, if there's anything else you need...
18:24 Refrigerator make terrible noise.
18:26 It would break any second.
18:28 Gutters are clogged, bedroom door stuck, lawn go wild like jungle.
18:35 Come, get your ladder.
18:37 Come on, Hank Hill. You go on roof now.
18:40 [♪♪♪]
18:43 [Hank screams]
18:50 So, Hank, I certainly have noticed how helpful you've been to Min.
19:04 Yeah, and I told her I'd seal her driveway tomorrow.
19:08 But what about drinking in the alley?
19:10 Yes, exactly. I can't get this time back.
19:14 I'm just trying to do the neighborly thing, like you said.
19:17 Well, just try to keep in mind that we don't like them very much, remember?
19:21 [♪♪♪]
19:25 [♪♪♪]
19:28 It's like he's got two families.
19:47 Two families. I think that's unfair when some of us don't even have the one.
19:53 I'd think he likes being bossed around by women if I didn't know better, which I don't.
20:00 [♪♪♪]
20:04 Bill?
20:07 Hank.
20:08 Dale?
20:09 Hank.
20:10 Boomhower?
20:11 Night.
20:12 Polygamist?
20:14 [Hank screams]
20:19 Min, uh, I think what you need is a new compressor cable right here, preferably a copper one.
20:26 So, how would I get that part?
20:29 From the hardware store.
20:31 They're kind of far away, right?
20:34 Yeah.
20:36 I'll pick one up for you. I was going to head over there myself.
20:42 Just for fun, though.
20:44 Is that...?
20:49 [♪♪♪]
20:52 Where the hell have you been?
21:01 Looking for a new wife since you buy mine.
21:03 I was just paying her for lay ocean lessons.
21:06 And do you know what I'm doing now? Buying a part for your damn refrigerator.
21:11 Not in there! I got shirt soaking in woolite.
21:15 Con, go home and take care of business.
21:18 I not go back without new kick-ass job.
21:21 I show you, I get job that make you cry every day.
21:25 Look, Con, I love propane through and through, but...
21:29 Okay, I'll give you this. You're old job was something else, okay? Now go home.
21:34 No. I can't fail.
21:37 It's not supposed to happen to me.
21:40 I'm Asian, for God's sake.
21:42 More expected of me.
21:45 You not understand. You somebody's worker bee.
21:48 If I accept your redneck life, it like I bury myself alive.
21:53 Well, what about Min and Connie?
21:56 You my best friend. You take care of them.
21:59 I'm your best friend?
22:01 No. I take it back. Nobody takes care of them.
22:04 Time's hard, but Min's a fighter. They be okay.
22:11 Why you keep watching me, you pervert?
22:14 Somebody get the manager!
22:17 Noi. Noi.
22:20 Noi. Noi.
22:23 Noi. Noi.
22:26 Bobby, dinner's ready.
22:29 Oh, uh, by the way, I accidentally picked up an extra bucket of chicken on the way home, if you guys are interested.
22:37 How do you know it's extra yet?
22:41 Con, you got a lot of um-sing about you ought to come back here.
22:53 I got a new job. Make 20,000 more a year.
22:56 Okay. Maybe I'll let you back in, but you sleep on the couch.
23:00 I thought you'd be happy. So we pack up quickly. Job in Houston.
23:05 Oh, no. I'm not moving again. People here grudgingly accept us. That's rare.
23:12 It's three-hour drive.
23:14 Not negotiable. You commute.
23:17 Hey, neighbor, maybe I buy your house. Storage for my own things. What you think of that?
23:23 My house is not for sale.
23:25 Oh, then I guess I buy your bank and foreclose on you.
23:33 That's a good one, Con.
23:35 Are you laughing or crying because of my great new car?
23:39 Turbo engine, halogen light, six CD changer in trunk?
23:43 In the trunk? Well, if you need a hand installing it in your dash, let me know.
23:49 It's supposed to be in trunk. It plays CDs in trunk.
23:53 Why? Who's gonna want to ride in the trunk?
23:56 You wish you could ride in my trunk. My trunk so plush, it like movie star trunk.
24:02 Well, you got me there, Con. My trunk is not like a movie star trunk. It's just a family man trunk.
24:10 Thank you, Hank.
24:13 [Music]
24:18 [Music]
24:22 [Music]
24:25 [Music]
24:53 Prepare your brain for...