King Of The Hill Season 2 Episode 8 The Son That Got Away
Transcript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 (upbeat music)
00:05 (upbeat music)
00:32 ♪ With brotherhood ♪
00:34 ♪ With brotherhood ♪
00:37 ♪ From sea to shining sea ♪
00:40 ♪ And many more ♪
00:45 - Miss Supanusenphone, please.
00:47 Now let's all settle, Mr. Hill.
00:49 We're going to sing "My Bonnie."
00:52 (audience groans)
00:55 ♪ My Bonnie is a lady ♪
01:01 ♪ My Connie lives next door to me ♪
01:05 ♪ My Connie is a lady ♪
01:09 ♪ And I have to go take a pee ♪
01:13 - What did I tell you two?
01:18 Bobby, Connie, this is the third time this week.
01:22 I've suffered through everything from old man liver
01:25 to the smelly nose of Texas.
01:27 It's time we involved your parents.
01:30 (gasps)
01:32 - Con, what are you doing here?
01:39 - Ah, they framed Con Junior.
01:42 I'm here to grease some palms.
01:44 You're here to read the gas meter, right?
01:46 That's your job?
01:47 - No, I sell propane and propane accessories.
01:51 Bobby got in trouble too.
01:53 I had to take off work.
01:55 - Why, where your wife?
01:57 She still got mother today?
01:58 - Peggy is a substitute teacher.
02:01 Bobby, what's the idea of acting up in class?
02:06 - Acting out, Mr. Hill.
02:07 We call it acting out.
02:10 - I just sang a song parody, Dad.
02:12 Like weird Al Yankovich.
02:15 - Bobby, Al Yankovich blew his brains out in the late 80s
02:19 after people stopped buying his records.
02:22 He's not worth getting into trouble over.
02:25 - Con Junior and Bobby dragging you down
02:27 like a chicken fat anchor.
02:29 (trumpet fanfare)
02:31 - Time out.
02:31 It's all knitting together.
02:34 You see, Bobby and Connie's disruptive behaviors
02:37 stem from bad parental imaging at home.
02:40 - You're saying it's my fault I'm here?
02:43 - I won't play your blame game, Mr. Hill.
02:45 Your son mocked a beautiful Scottish folk song.
02:49 We owe it to ourselves to find out why.
02:52 - Yeah, you make a good point, Hank.
02:56 He says you're a bad father.
02:58 - No, no, no, you're not bad dads.
03:00 You have bad dad habits.
03:03 - Oh.
03:04 - Gentlemen, let's try an active listening exercise.
03:09 Con, I want you to tell Hank something you like about him
03:14 while Hank actively listens to the compliment.
03:17 Bobby, Connie, watch and learn.
03:20 (birds chirping)
03:23 (growling)
03:27 - It's all boys fault we're here.
03:29 He bad crowd.
03:30 You punish him.
03:32 - You don't worry about Bobby, you just punish Con Junior.
03:35 She's the mastermind behind all this.
03:37 (trumpet fanfare)
03:38 - Well, there will be punishment.
03:41 - Darn right there'll be punishment.
03:43 (trumpet fanfare)
03:44 Give me that.
03:45 (gagging)
03:48 (upbeat music)
03:51 - Joseph says Bobby's in the doghouse.
03:59 How you gonna punish him, Hank?
04:01 - Well, sir, that boy's gonna clean my rain gutters.
04:05 - Well, whatever works for you.
04:08 I believe a child benefits more
04:10 from the psychological approach.
04:12 When I need to correct Joseph, I tell him he's adopted.
04:16 (laughing)
04:18 - You know, my dad used to punish me
04:20 by telling me I was a girl.
04:23 He used to make me wear dresses.
04:25 Pretty, pretty dresses.
04:29 - Let's go, Bobby.
04:32 It's debt paying time.
04:33 I wonder what old Con has in store for Con Junior.
04:43 What the?
04:46 Con, what are you doing?
04:47 - To mow on the lawn is a privilege, not a punishment.
04:51 - I'm putting fear of God into Con Junior.
04:54 She'll learn what it's like to be you.
04:56 - You know, it's that kind of permissive parenting
04:59 that forfeited your country to the communists.
05:15 - Ooh, baby birds.
05:18 Where's your mommy?
05:19 Ow, stop that, ow!
05:23 I was being nice to them.
05:25 - That's a roof, not American bandstand.
05:34 - Oh, Hank, let him dance, he's happy.
05:36 (screaming)
05:45 - What a, what a bird picker.
05:47 - Hi.
05:50 - A bird pecked my head.
05:52 - Ouch, parents are such a drag.
05:55 - Yeah, they're always treating us like kids.
05:58 We're not children, we're pre-teens.
06:02 Damn it.
06:03 - Let's get out of this dump.
06:06 Do something fun.
06:07 - Yeah, as long as we're back for supper.
06:11 My mom's fixing pork pockets.
06:13 - Okay, it's a deal.
06:15 - Let's boogie.
06:23 - Why are you stopping?
06:28 - We gotta get Joseph.
06:30 - I don't like Joseph.
06:31 He threw a dodgeball at me once.
06:33 - Well, I'm sure he had a good reason.
06:36 Hey, Bobby, you wanna do something?
06:42 - Bobby already has plans with me.
06:44 - Yeah, wanna come?
06:45 - Sure.
06:46 - So what do you guys wanna do?
06:50 - Well, we could go press the crosswalk buttons in one way.
06:55 - Cool.
06:56 - Bobby and I don't like to do that.
06:58 - Well, Bobby and me do.
07:00 - We could go to the library and talk.
07:03 - Yeah.
07:04 - Yeah, why don't we just go back to school
07:06 and wait for tomorrow?
07:08 - Hey, hey, come on, guys.
07:10 Don't make this a contest for my friendship.
07:13 Now I say we go to Electric Town and watch TV.
07:18 (imitates buzzer)
07:21 Ooh, ooh, ooh.
07:23 We could go to the caves.
07:25 Oh, come on, guys.
07:28 It'll be like sneaking into an R movie.
07:31 - You've been to an R movie?
07:33 - Yeah, but the only person naked was Harvey Cattell.
07:38 - We should go for it.
07:40 (gentle music)
07:42 - The caves are probably dark.
07:45 Let's get butane lighters.
07:47 - My dad says butane's a bastard gas.
07:51 - I'm getting scented candles.
07:52 This one smells like leather pants.
07:55 - I got tube chips and spray cheese.
08:00 They're cute.
08:02 - I got glow wands and pantyhose for the lady.
08:08 (water splashes)
08:11 - What the hell are you doing?
08:14 - Get an old tan, man.
08:15 - We just cleaned your gutters for you.
08:18 - But that was Bobby's punishment.
08:20 - Oh, maybe you call it punishment.
08:22 I call it punishment.
08:25 - Where is Bobby?
08:27 - Hey, Con Junior, where are you?
08:30 - Now it's starting to make some sense.
08:37 - She did it again, Con.
08:38 Your little siren led my boy astray.
08:41 - Your skinhead gone too?
08:43 - Boy, I tell you what, when I do find those kids,
08:46 they're gonna be in real trouble now.
08:48 - Have you seen Joseph?
08:50 He's not back with my pick six numbers
08:52 and I'm starting to worry.
08:54 I can't win it if I'm not in it.
08:57 (engine revs)
08:59 (gentle music)
09:06 - Yeah, the entrance is in the weeds somewhere.
09:10 - The caves.
09:19 Hey, you shouldn't go in there.
09:29 - Yeah, right.
09:30 Just play with your toy, Randy.
09:33 - Later, loser.
09:36 - Wait, maybe Randy's right.
09:39 - Bobby, if you're scared, you can stay out here.
09:42 You can pretend it's headquarters.
09:44 - Hey, you wanna watch me fly my plane?
09:50 - Wait for me.
09:51 - You'll be sorry.
09:53 You'll be...
09:54 (screams)
09:56 - First we look for Con Junior at Contemporary Art Museum.
10:03 - Oh, sorry, Arlen doesn't have one.
10:07 - Let's get one thing straight.
10:09 You may be driving, but I'm leading this posse
10:12 and if forced, I will commandeer the vehicle.
10:15 - What, do you see them?
10:19 Do you see them?
10:19 - Please take a pedal from middle.
10:24 They probably at the mall.
10:25 - My heart is racing here, men.
10:27 And when my heart races, my view it follows.
10:29 - Calm down for Peggy here.
10:31 Look at my hand.
10:33 Still as a Monet water lily.
10:35 - Well, being calm comes natural to you Buddhists.
10:37 So what if Connie's run away, huh?
10:39 She'll just come back as a grasshopper or a seahorse.
10:42 I'm so sorry, men.
10:47 I'm just a little on the edge.
10:48 - Hey, look at this.
10:56 The Boneyard.
11:00 It's written in ancient English.
11:02 - What's the Boneyard?
11:04 - I can't remember.
11:06 It's either the place where old people go to die
11:10 or young people go to make out.
11:12 - Well, what if you're wrong
11:15 and it's where young people go to die
11:17 and old people go to make out?
11:19 - I told you, Con Junior not there.
11:24 Ah, Con Junior go there.
11:28 - No American child would run away to a sheet music store.
11:33 - They do if they want to hide from hillbilly parent.
11:36 Last place you look, hillbilly.
11:39 - I thought you and Min were looking for Bobby and Connie.
11:54 - Well, Min decided she'd rather look for them in a taxi.
11:57 - Oh, I am such a jumble.
11:59 - Aunt Peggy, why don't you just sit down at the TV
12:02 for a minute and clear your head?
12:04 - Okay, but for just a moment.
12:06 - Guess what?
12:07 Monsignor Martinez rented a sports car
12:10 in the name of those little babies.
12:13 - Vaya con Dios.
12:25 - I don't think I can make it.
12:27 - Yes you can, Bobby.
12:29 - Grab onto my shirt.
12:31 Hey, we did it.
12:40 We're in the boneyard.
12:43 (soft music)
12:46 - Who's Frampton?
13:00 - Score, playboy.
13:02 - Great, I haven't seen this one.
13:06 - I hope there's an article by Norman Mailer.
13:09 - Oh, check this out.
13:11 Our unabashed dictionary defines heavy petting
13:16 as when things get out of control
13:18 at a Weight Watchers meeting.
13:20 (laughing)
13:22 - She doesn't get it.
13:26 - I'm starting to get things.
13:29 (upbeat music)
13:32 - I thought the kids would be here sure as the world.
13:38 I'll be dipped.
13:40 - Hey, Randy, have you seen Bobby and Joseph
13:43 and that Con Junior?
13:45 - Maybe, maybe not.
13:46 What are you gonna do?
13:48 - We're gonna tan their hides.
13:50 - They're in the caves.
13:51 I did the right thing.
13:52 I told them not to go.
13:53 I did the right thing.
13:54 - You heard him, Hank.
13:55 We have no legal responsibility.
13:57 - The caves?
13:59 Oh my God.
14:00 - Wait, what's the problem?
14:04 That's good news, right?
14:05 Now we know where they are.
14:07 - No, Con.
14:08 He's bad news.
14:10 - The caves are where Arlen teenagers go to make,
14:14 well, whoopee.
14:16 - Check it out.
14:20 It must have fallen off some woman.
14:23 - Here, Connie, you can use this.
14:25 - Thanks.
14:26 - Hey, Connie, Connie, I found you this.
14:33 - Skull, yuck.
14:35 - And I wrote you a song.
14:38 - I'm a skull man.
14:41 (humming)
14:42 - Yeah, that's great.
14:44 - Dang.
14:47 - That was our last candle.
14:51 I'm scared.
14:53 - Me too.
14:55 - Me three.
14:57 - Wait, we've got glow-ons.
15:00 (dramatic music)
15:04 (dramatic music)
15:07 - Those are their bikes.
15:13 They're inside, all right.
15:14 Oh God, I can't see.
15:21 I can't see.
15:23 We're all gonna die.
15:25 - Dale, you have your sunglasses on.
15:28 - Gotcha.
15:31 - Tell you what, Dale,
15:32 why don't you go tell Peggy and Min we're here
15:35 so they don't worry?
15:36 - I noticed my wife's name was not among those mentioned.
15:43 Am I to assume Nancy should continue worrying?
15:47 - Ah, you go now.
15:48 - Lady, lady, lady.
15:52 Lady, lady.
15:55 The kids are in the caves.
16:01 - Oh my goodness.
16:02 That is where half of Arlen's unplanned pregnancies begin.
16:05 - Hank and Con have gone in to pry them apart.
16:10 - Dear Lord, let them find those kids
16:12 before I am in-laws with Min.
16:14 - Maybe we should get back now.
16:19 - Yeah, I guess.
16:21 - No, it's this way.
16:24 Isn't it?
16:25 - No, we came in that way.
16:27 - I think.
16:30 - Oh no.
16:31 - Yeah, we're lost.
16:34 - Take me to Boneyard.
16:45 - Hold on a second, I don't remember which way to go.
16:48 It's been a while.
16:49 I need to get my bearings here.
16:51 - Why, you get your bearings?
16:54 My child bearing your child's child.
16:59 - I think it's this way.
17:00 - I can't stop.
17:08 It's out of my control.
17:10 Where you go?
17:12 We're out of food.
17:14 - I'm sorry.
17:15 When I'm upset, I get hungry.
17:18 - We're all upset, Bobby.
17:20 - But you're upset together and I'm upset all by myself.
17:25 I see things clearly now.
17:29 I'm gonna grow up without anyone to love
17:31 and die friendless and alone like weird Al Yankovic.
17:36 I won't stand in your way.
17:38 When the time comes, I want you to eat me.
17:42 - You'd do that for us?
17:44 - Of course I would.
17:46 You're my best friends.
17:48 My body is my gift to you.
17:51 - But it wouldn't have to be
17:53 if you'd left us some of those chips.
17:56 - Oh, Bobby, that is so kind and brave.
18:01 Thank you.
18:03 - I'm doing it for your children too.
18:06 You have to think of them.
18:08 - Oh, I'm starting to worry.
18:11 - I can conjure a family by now.
18:14 - Don't worry, Nancy.
18:15 I'm sure they're safe and not exploring each other's bodies.
18:20 - Even if they are, there's nothing that lovers do
18:24 that can possibly take this long.
18:27 Am I right?
18:28 - Yes, if you only consider your own needs.
18:32 - Oh gosh.
18:32 I think I need a beer.
18:36 Honey, you want a beer?
18:38 - Yes. - Yes.
18:39 - How did he know I wanted a beer?
18:45 - Too narrow, must go back.
18:51 - We've gotta go forward.
18:53 - Come on, shove me, damn it.
18:55 - Oh, now I stick it with beer.
19:03 This is the worst birthday I ever had.
19:06 - I didn't know it was your birthday.
19:09 - Yeah, I'm 41.
19:11 - You know, I think we're lost.
19:18 - Oh, you think so, huh?
19:20 - They'll bring the fire department.
19:22 They'll find us.
19:23 - That's great.
19:25 All hopes for survival pinned on Dale Gribble.
19:30 I wanna die like an English patient girlfriend.
19:33 Long, painful, boring death.
19:36 - Well, if we're lost, the kids are probably lost too.
19:39 - You make me nervous at Joseph with Con Junior.
19:43 His whole family like a Tennessee Williams play.
19:46 - Well, Joseph's a good boy.
19:49 Say, why aren't you nervous about my Bobby?
19:52 Until puberty, he do no worse than Hickey.
19:55 Besides, I know he a good boy.
19:57 - I appreciate that, Con,
19:59 but I tell you what, many a good boy's gone bad
20:03 in the boneyard.
20:04 I shouldn't be telling you this,
20:06 but it's where a lot of us got to second base
20:09 for the first time.
20:11 - What you call second base?
20:12 - Well, where I come from, it means
20:22 well,
20:23 meaning that, you see,
20:27 when two people are attracted to each other,
20:30 well, your hand--
20:33 - Don't explain a home run, you'll have a heart attack.
20:36 In Laos, we call it pas on peit.
20:39 - Pas on peit.
20:41 I like it.
20:42 It sounds clean.
20:44 We need more good euphemisms like that in this country.
20:48 - So tell me, where'd you hit your first pas on peit?
20:53 - Langaprobank City.
20:55 Wild town, man.
20:57 Spring break and two out of three guys are monks.
21:00 Try not get some pas on peit.
21:02 (laughing)
21:04 - Hey, Bobby, that sounds like your dad.
21:16 - And it sounds like your dad, Connie.
21:18 - It can't be.
21:21 They're not yelling at each other.
21:23 (dramatic music)
21:28 (screaming)
21:33 - Bobby!
21:35 - Con Junior!
21:38 - Hello, Joseph.
21:45 - Hey, Mr. Hill.
21:46 - Well, well, now we're all together.
21:49 Sit back and relax.
21:51 Wait for Dale Grimmer to save us.
21:53 - Son, stop that.
22:06 This is a desperate situation.
22:09 Besides, it's littering.
22:10 - It's already littered, Dad.
22:12 Somebody else dropped it before us from up there.
22:17 - Hey, there is a hole up there, look.
22:19 - (gasps) That could be our way out.
22:22 - Hey, hold your fire up there.
22:25 - Hey, man, you gonna do like them gonna tell you
22:28 the old Hank doing down in the bone yard.
22:30 Man, you gonna get down there like an old boy
22:32 and around and it'll go wrong with you, man.
22:34 - Boomhower, I can't understand a word you're saying.
22:39 Must be the echo.
22:40 - Just get the fire department to lower a rope.
22:43 - Hey, Hank, ten-four to go.
22:45 Roll over that rope.
22:46 - Oh, my little golden child.
22:53 - Okay, Hank, put Bobby's bike in the trunk
23:04 and buckle Bobby into the center of the back seat,
23:06 facing us so we both can watch him.
23:08 Now, Peggy, he's not a baby anymore, he's a preteen.
23:13 He and Joseph rode their bikes here, they can ride 'em home.
23:16 - Thanks, Dad.
23:17 Connie, you need a lift?
23:22 - Yeah, Connie, you want a lift?
23:24 - Con Junior, you come with me.
23:29 We go get ice cream and tetanus shot.
23:32 - I think Connie likes you.
23:37 - Nah, she likes you.
23:41 The minute you said we could eat you, she was yours.
23:45 - Well, maybe she likes both of us.
23:48 - Yeah, women have trouble choosing between guys sometimes.
23:53 They like to have their cake and eat it too.
23:56 - I hear ya.
23:58 Hey, Joseph?
23:59 - Yeah?
24:00 - What were you eating under there?
24:03 - Under where?
24:05 - Oh, you were eating underwear.
24:08 - Shut up, boxers or briefs.
24:11 - You are such a goof.
24:13 (laughing)
24:14 - Boxers or briefs.
24:16 (upbeat music)
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