#AcharyaPrashant #आचार्यप्रशांत #Philosophy #BhagavadGita #vedanta #love #loneliness
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Video Information: 23.01.2022, Vedant Mahotsav, Rishikesh, India
Context:
What is aloneness?
What is loneliness?
How to be happy without depending on others?
How to understand the fear and how to get rid of it?
How to face challenges in life?
Music Credits: Milind Date
➖➖➖
Video Information: 23.01.2022, Vedant Mahotsav, Rishikesh, India
Context:
What is aloneness?
What is loneliness?
How to be happy without depending on others?
How to understand the fear and how to get rid of it?
How to face challenges in life?
Music Credits: Milind Date
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Namaste. My name is Nirali. I'm from the US and I'm 38 years old. I work with a tech startup
00:14company here. Sorry, I'm shaking a little bit right now. And I have two questions which
00:24I'd like to ask you. One is from the reading from Devi for Yashoday. It says that aloneness
00:32is not being free of others and living without others. Aloneness is to live without oneself.
00:41Aloneness is to get rid of tendency to cling to the world and to oneself. Now, if you can
00:48kind of go in a deeper level for me, I would like to understand that. And especially to
00:54get to get rid of oneself. I like to understand in more deeper level where I can practice
01:02that in my life more and become better. Nice little quote that.
01:23Aloneness is not to be free of others. Aloneness is to be free of oneself. The others are just
01:35too numerous. When you say you want to be free of one particular person or thing or
01:43place or idea or whatever, there is almost certainly a recoil and you find yourself gravitating
01:54towards something else falling in somebody else's lap. So, that happens because the fundamental
02:03tendency to stick to the world in some form or the other remains. That's what I'm calling
02:11as oneself. Oneself is characterized by the tendency to be with a multitude. There is this
02:23one and how do you know that one? That one is known by its tendency to be with many. There is
02:32the one that one is within. That one is called the little self, the fake self, the false self or the
02:39ego. That one is characterized by the tendency to keep looking towards many with hope. Hope of
02:49fulfillment, hope of love, hope of completion. And these many that are there, they are all
02:57hagglers. They are promise mongers. Like eager vendors, they want to keep selling you something.
03:09Somebody is saying I'm selling you companionship. Somebody is saying I'm selling you knowledge.
03:17Somebody is saying I'm selling you this kind of pleasure. Somebody is saying happiness. They are
03:23all eager to associate with you by offering a promise. But all those that you see around yourself,
03:34some lucrative, some horrible, some that you are indifferent to, they all exist for you fundamentally
03:47because of the tendency of oneself to keep thinking of itself as unfulfilled and hence seek
03:54association and companionship in the world. So it is largely futile to try to drop others because
04:08others are really not the fundamental problem. Even as we talk of the importance of Sangatai,
04:19right? Company. The worst company is one's own. All the other bad things that enter your life,
04:30they enter first of all because you listen to that part, that center of yourself you should
04:37have never listened to in the first place. So the primary culprit is never the others. The primary
04:43culprit is sitting within and masquerading as me, the self, the I. So it is this primary one that
04:53this quote is pointing at and declaring culpable. The others might be at fault but their fault is
05:10secondary. The others might not be good for you but their effect is secondary. The worst one is
05:21not outside of you. The worst one is inside of you and it is this worst one that is inviting all the
05:28bad things to itself and that is to you. Because it is sitting within and in its foolishness it
05:36conspires against itself. Though it wants its own welfare, granted. It says I am doing things for my
05:44well-being. But it's so foolish that even as it tries to be good to itself, it invites all kinds
05:53of nonsense, even calamities. In its self-professed smartness, cleverness, knowledgeability, it keeps
06:06doing all kinds of stupid things. One is not to associate with this one sitting within. As long
06:15as this one is sitting within, it will be as we said futile to keep disposing off or getting rid
06:23of the things outside of you because one bad influence will be followed by the other. Bad
06:32will be supplanted by something worse. One bad relationship will yield to a worse one. Why?
06:44Because a tendency to get into bad relationships will remain intact. It is this tendency that we
06:52have to uproot and it has very very deep roots within our psyche. It has taken on our name. It
07:01has stolen our identity. So that's what we are talking of. To be alone is to be with the right
07:14partner within. Within you is someone who is great company. Be with that one. Or if you cannot locate
07:29who that great one is, please be patiently all by yourself. Being with no one is far far better than
07:42being with the wrong one. And in being with no one, you will realize that that no one might actually be
07:52just enough for you. That that no one in some magical way has an existence of its own. Just as
08:04don't we sometimes say the silence is beautiful. Now what is beautiful? Silence means nothing. But
08:11that nothingness has an existence of its own that you are referring to as beautiful. Similarly,
08:19don't you say, oh the space here is great. You move to a place and don't you say, oh great space.
08:25Now space means nothingness. Space is just nothing. But that nothingness is great. And then you will
08:36become fond of that nothingness, that spaciousness, that silence. That's the best company you can have.
08:45And when you have that best company, then you know the right ones to be associated with even in your
08:52worldly life. Being associated with the right one within, you will learn, you will just know the
09:05right ones to be associated with in the external world. The outer follows the inner and not vice
09:16versa. Doing the opposite is quite tough. Though it is sometimes attempted with some success. But
09:23the best thing is to start within because that's where you are. Because that's where immediate
09:30action is possible. When that fails, then one tries to start somewhere outside. That will offer
09:39you some success, limited success. That's secondary thing. First thing is to start within. Why am I
09:46saying starting outside is secondary? Because as long as this enemy of yours is comfortably seated
09:53within, how will it allow you to have good company outside? Let's say you start outside and you
10:00bring in great company for yourself. Let's say some great books, a great place, a great workplace, a great
10:06teacher. Somebody great comes into your domain. Will that somebody be allowed to stay by this
10:16enemy within? This enemy within will ensure that the great one that has entered your life freshly
10:24leaves sooner than later and you'll be back to square one. So, it's important to have internal
10:31work and change in external situations will definitely follow.
10:39Aloneness is therefore not about being a social recluse. It is not about being a loner.
10:46It's about having the capability to have right company. That's aloneness.
10:57I suffice within. I am alright alone. Why? Because I have the best company within alright. So, alone I'm
11:07okay. Now that I am okay even in my aloneness, I become free to have very celebratory relationships
11:18outside. Now, those relationships are not of dependence. I'm not a beggar asking for fulfillment
11:27nor am I a prospective customer being cheated by loud and cunning vendors.
11:37I'm alright as I am. I do not require much from the world at an existential level.
11:43At the level of my being, at the level of the I, I'm alright. Now, I can
11:50relate to the world in a healthy way, in a free way. That's aloneness.
11:56That's aloneness.
12:03Okay. Now, some of the things that I have experienced
12:13when I try to be social with people and they find that I am fine by myself alone,
12:26they look at me in a pity way and they start advising that I should do this, I should do that
12:34in a almost like in a way that they are feeling bad for me. Yeah, they are patronizing you,
12:41condescending. Yeah. Yeah. So, and at that time I do become weak emotionally.
12:50Hmm.
12:54Anything that you can tell me that could help me?
12:59It's alright. I mean, they do what they are currently capable of. They are acting as per
13:07their station in life. The problem is not about what they are doing. The issue lies within.
13:15Hmm.
13:17Somebody comes to you in a high-handed way, in a condescending way and you yield to his
13:26display of pity and by yielding to that display, you are affirming that his pity was not misplaced.
13:35Hmm.
13:37Is that not so? Hmm? So, somebody comes and expresses pity or dismay at your state,
13:48it's fine. Fine. Let him do that. Don't you have better things to direct your attention to?
13:56So, you remain concerned with what really matters to you.
14:01Hmm.
14:03One characteristic of aloneness is a healthy indifference to others' opinions. Hmm.
14:11You listen to others' opinions but you are not bogged down by them.
14:16You are under no compulsion to grant them affirmation. Hmm. Others' opinions are just that.
14:28Others, firstly others, secondly opinions. Since they are others, they need not be internalized by
14:36you. And because they are opinions, they need not be taken as the truth. Hmm. Others' opinions.
14:45And there are so many people in the world and people act, people speak and they are constrained
14:56by the levels of their consciousness, by the point at which they are in their journey.
15:06So, they will do as they would. Animals act in a certain way. Birds fly in a certain way.
15:13Kids behave in one way. Egypt people behave in another way. So, all that is prakritic. All that
15:20is just physical nature. One does not feel bad about something that is just so pre-programmed,
15:29physical, prakritic. Prakriti just is. Hmm. It's not something that you can impose your ideals on.
15:41Right. Ideally, you could say snakes should have wings.
15:46Ideally, you could say pigs should not wallow in filth. Hmm. Ideally, you could say nobody
15:55should die young. In prakriti, these things, these ideals, these norms, they just don't matter.
16:04Things are as they are. People are as they are. Right. Now, you take care of your consciousness.
16:11Now, you take care of your consciousness. Irrespective of how the material world is,
16:17how your body is and how other bodies in the world are operating, your primary responsibility
16:23is to take care of the cleanliness of your consciousness. That's what we all are here for.
16:30Okay. That was helpful. Thank you. And one more question. This is coming from a few
16:41Christianity books that I have read. There is one quote that says,
16:46love, perfect love, that is God's love, perfect love drives out fear.
16:53Can you expand something on that, please?
17:02See, anything that is perfect does not leave any space for anything else. Perfect love means
17:10that all the energy and attention is directed towards just one attainment.
17:17Even to be afraid, you need time and space and energy. When you are asleep, are you afraid?
17:27Because there is nothing available to fear. The consciousness that could have accommodated fear
17:34and experienced it is now in another state, busy elsewhere. Therefore, you are not afraid.
17:41Afraid. And even at this moment, you can experience fear if you start thinking of things
17:47that are a scare to you, threat to you. Right? So, fear demands space in your mind.
17:56Fear demands that you be available to it. But when you are committed to something colossal,
18:04something extremely important, then you devote all of yourself to that particular thing.
18:10In a perfect sense, that's called love. Devoting yourself completely to something that's worth it.
18:16Devoting yourself, committing yourself absolutely to something that deserves it.
18:22Now there is nothing available. The room is empty. Who will be afraid? There were 10 of you in the
18:28room and all 10 of you have moved elsewhere to participate in a tremendous project.
18:39All the 10 have moved out of the room to participate in something very important.
18:45Now fear comes and knocks. Fear is now knocking on the door. Who will answer the knock? Who is
18:52there to open the door? There is nobody. Since there is nobody, nobody would be afraid. So,
18:57you have to be extremely occupied. You have to be extremely occupied. Love is the greatest
19:02occupation you can have. We all love to be busy. But we are busy with all the wrong things.
19:10Love is what we need to be busy with. Love is our purpose and our vocation in life.
19:18What are you doing? I'm loving. I'm loving. And if you're not loving, you would be indulging in all
19:26kinds of wrong things. When I'm saying I'm loving, what do I mean? I'm not using the word love
19:33in the usual way. When I'm saying love, love is your commitment towards something that absolutely
19:41deserves it. Not your personal happiness or some shallow pleasure. Love is your commitment to
19:48something that is the highest you can know of, think of. What is the highest you can know of?
19:55Let's say liberation. Because you are in bondage. You can call it fulfillment. You can call it the
20:01end of your journey. You can call it your maximum desire. The ultimate you can conceive of.
20:09That's what you must be attracted to, committed to. That's called love.
20:16And when you give it everything that you have, you're left with nothing to be scared of.
20:24Okay. It's going to be a great journey.
20:41Thank you, Acharyaji.
20:45I had lots of ups and downs in my life. And I have been living alone for almost 10 years now.
20:54And I have been focusing a lot on myself from last 10 to 11 years. And what I mean by that is
21:05my work and self-development into spiritual things, spiritual work. Now, because I'm in
21:13the U.S. and I never really had a proper guidance, I was a little bit all over the place. Yeah,
21:19initially. You know what? I have read a lot of books on Christianity. I have read the Gita,
21:25that I read and try to understand in depth. A lot of other books also to just help me
21:32understand things more deeper and deeper. And very much into just listening to bhajans of Krishna
21:42and God and things like that. So I've been going through a lot of personal health issues
21:51in last year. And I've been listening to other organizations. They were making some sense to me.
22:03But I felt the more I listened to them, which I continued for several months,
22:08the more I listened to them, I became more emotionally weak.
22:12Then I had to go back and read the Gita. And then I feel better. Because it made me
22:18felt like whatever is happening to me, my karma is bad. So somehow I stumbled upon your video on
22:27YouTube. Last four months, I have seen about 200 videos and it just boggles my mind that I'm so
22:37happy that I found you. Because finally, I don't feel alone. And a lot of things that I was thinking
22:45in my head, which I was not able to clarify, you clarified for me. So I just wanted to say thank
22:53you so much for the wonderful work you are doing. And then deeply from my heart, I feel very
22:59connected. And I'm glad that my thought process matches with someone because I was about to do
23:08something really bad. I felt like there's no one who would ever understand me. So I just wanted to
23:15express my gratitude to you on that and doing wonderful work. Thank you so much.