#AcharyaPrashant #आचार्यप्रशांत #Philosophy #BhagavadGita #vedanta #heartbreak #void #loneliness
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Video Information: 23.12.22, DTU, Delhi
Context:
~ What is the right way to deal with the void?
~ How to not be hurt?
~ What to do when loved ones leave?
~ How to overcome a heartbreak?
~ How to move on in life?
~ How to not be lonely?
~ What is the right thing to do?
~ Why do we get attracted to the same person?
~ What happened to your high school sweetheart?
~ How to not be attached?
Music Credits: Milind Date
➖➖➖
Video Information: 23.12.22, DTU, Delhi
Context:
~ What is the right way to deal with the void?
~ How to not be hurt?
~ What to do when loved ones leave?
~ How to overcome a heartbreak?
~ How to move on in life?
~ How to not be lonely?
~ What is the right thing to do?
~ Why do we get attracted to the same person?
~ What happened to your high school sweetheart?
~ How to not be attached?
Music Credits: Milind Date
Category
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LearningTranscript
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01:02Applause
01:07Pranam Acharya ji.
01:09I want to ask you a question that I am feeling a void within myself from last four years.
01:15Can say that a void created within me because of a person whom I love.
01:22But in the beginning as it created a time period of four years.
01:26So in the beginning I have tried the traditional method to fill that void.
01:31But I have failed miraculously.
01:34But I came to know about you in 2021.
01:37So as I started listening to you, I have thinking that I have to choose a right path.
01:44I have to choose a higher goal to be engaged with and to fill that void that is inside me.
01:51So for that I have developed so many things within me.
01:56Like I have started writing poems.
01:59I have been playing cricket and so many other things.
02:02I am pursuing my graduation from DU and also preparing for UPSC.
02:06I have no such time left for me to think about me what I am actually doing with my life.
02:13But at the very moment when I finish or accomplish the thing or the goal that I have accomplished right now.
02:22I am left with the same void.
02:24The void is always the same of always the same person that never changes.
02:30So I want to ask you that what is the right way to deal with that void?
02:39And what is the right way to cope myself with that void?
02:43Or I have to live with that void?
02:45Because I have searched for that question with so many people.
02:49Like from last six months that void is now converting into the suffering and pain.
02:55In the form of tears that set from my eyes.
03:00So for that I don't want to be in that phase.
03:03I really don't want to be in that phase.
03:05I want the way to deal with that.
03:08That how can I get something better and something right to do with myself.
03:13To be out of that.
03:19That doesn't occur.
03:20She denied at the very first moment.
03:24Then I have never asked her.
03:26We are rare in contacts.
03:29At the moment within months or from two or three months we talk to her in the chats.
03:36And nothing else.
03:37We met for the last time when our board exams were over.
03:41It was past three years.
03:45And I have not seen her from that time.
03:49It's for this person that you have this craving.
03:51Yeah, same for the same person.
03:54See, you don't get attracted to just everybody.
04:01Some practical facts first.
04:06You get attracted to someone.
04:11Who is almost at the same level of consciousness as you are.
04:21We all have a particular mental range.
04:26The one you feel attracted towards has to lie within that range.
04:33If that fellow is far below your station, you will not feel attracted.
04:39If that fellow is far above your station, you will again not feel attracted.
04:46Do you see this?
04:51You might, for example, just desire a Hollywood actress or Miss Universe or somebody.
05:11But you would not even think of having that person as your life partner, your wife, as your love affair.
05:21Why? Because that person, in your own estimate, is far above your range of partnership.
05:29Do you see this?
05:32Do you see when you are envious, you are usually envious of those who lie within your range.
05:41If someone is far superior to you, you don't even feel envious.
05:46Do you see this?
05:49So, there is a particular person and the person has probably offered you rejection or has not been warm enough.
06:00What do you do?
06:03Raise yourself.
06:05As long as that person is within your range of acceptability,
06:11you will keep cultivating the hope that one day you will have that person for yourself.
06:19You will not be able to get rid of that hope.
06:22The purpose of life is elevation of consciousness.
06:26The person that you are within has to improve and has to improve so much
06:33that the person you today pine for simply drops below your range.
06:44You start saying, you know, I just don't feel any attraction.
06:50And this that I am saying is not at all disrespectful towards the other person.
06:58Because I am not talking of pulling the other one down.
07:03I am talking of raising yourself up.
07:07And if the other person is her own well-wisher, I would advise her as well.
07:13You raise yourself up, fine.
07:15But because that person has not come to me to seek advice, so I only have you to speak to.
07:20And to you I say, raise your game.
07:23Raise your game and exceed the one you were desirous of.
07:31Please understand this.
07:35The ones you like at one level of maturity in life
07:42are just not the ones you will like at another level of maturity in life.
07:48And that's an auspicious sign.
07:53That simply means that you are outgrowing the world.
07:58At age 18, you were prepared to die for someone.
08:05I'll lay down my life for you, darling.
08:09If at age 28, if that person is still your dream master,
08:18then probably there is a problem.
08:20Or there is a great coincidence that the person has grown at an equal speed.
08:27Ideally, you should be outgrowing your likes and desires
08:34at a very rapid rate.
08:39Do you still like the toys you
08:45at age 3?
08:47When you were 3, you had a favorite toy. Do you remember it?
08:52But sir, you are dehumanizing my love.
08:55You are reducing her to a toy.
08:57Sir, let's talk facts.
09:01At your age, when you get attracted to a girl,
09:05obviously the two of you are toys to each other. Are you not?
09:09Or is it consciousness getting attracted to consciousness?
09:12No, it's just body and body.
09:14And you will toy with each other's body the moment you get a chance.
09:19What happens to the toys?
09:22That were your favorites at age 3.
09:25You outgrow them when you are 6.
09:28Then you outgrow the 6-year toys at 10 and then 15 and then 20.
09:34And you move on. That progression is the essence of life.
09:37Come on, rise, move on.
09:40How can you still be attracted to the toys?
09:44You are attracted towards that same person.
09:48How?
09:53Is it sounding too brutal in human?
09:57Death knell of relationships?
10:02The woes to accompany each other for 7 births?
10:07That can happen only if both of you are totally stagnant.
10:12Is it not?
10:15Huh?
10:19Take this at least as a fresh perspective.
10:21I am not asking you to accept it.
10:24People grow differently.
10:29The one who appears attractive to you today,
10:33why do you take it as a mandate to be with him even 10 years later?
10:40That person can outgrow you or you can outgrow that person
10:44or the two of you can grow in different directions.
10:50What is the need to be so sticky to each other?
10:55Or are you welded?
10:58You know, even if you weld two different metals together,
11:04what happens when they are heated?
11:07And their coefficient of expansions are different.
11:10What happens?
11:13Because they are different.
11:17And they will behave differently and move differently.
11:22But our culture, you know, we are told,
11:25once you have fallen in love with someone at the ripe old age of 8 years,
11:32you should continue with her for the next 7 births.
11:36Leave her alone.
11:38She has a life to live.
11:43Huh?
11:44Growing out of your partner might be a sign of maturity.
11:52And it also might be a sign of compassion.
11:55Think of it.
11:58Often in the name of love,
12:00we just impose ourselves on someone
12:04who was unfortunate enough to once say yes to us.
12:105 years back, she said yes.
12:14So even today, I am at her throat and the rest of her body.
12:19You remember that day you said yes?
12:23Yes?
12:25So you have to live by your yes.
12:28She was internally drunk.
12:31Forgive her.
12:34Just issue a general pardon and let her go.
12:38But you'll say, no, but, bewafa?
12:42You said yes.
12:45And in most cases, there is no yes at all.
12:48Even the yes is not there and yet the allegation is there.
12:54Disloyal.
12:57What is loyalty?
12:58What do you mean by loyalty?
13:01What do you mean by continuation in time?
13:06If you really have love for someone,
13:12you make the sky available to them.
13:14You let them fly free.
13:16Is that not an expression of love?
13:18Or is clinginess an expression of love?
13:20I will stick to you.
13:23And if I cannot stick to you physically,
13:25then I'll stick to you in my memories.
13:27That's what all defeated lovers do, right?
13:31I cannot touch you physically,
13:34so I'll touch you in my...
13:37And those are the memories we cherish, don't we?
13:40You know, you remember...
13:46That's also the stuff of most of our songs.
13:49I fully appreciate.
13:50I'm not being heartless.
13:52I fully appreciate how difficult it is to get rid of all that.
13:57But I also know the consequences of sticking
14:02to something other than the truth.
14:05If you have to stick,
14:08stick to greatness,
14:10stick to truth,
14:12stick to a wonderful purpose,
14:14don't stick to the truth.
14:16Stick to a wonderful purpose.
14:18Don't stick to a mere girl.
14:20Set her free.