The guilty husband, and domestic violence || Acharya Prashant (2020)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...  ⚡ Want Acharya Prashant’s regular updates? Join WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Va6Z...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...   Want to accelerate Acharya Prashant’s work? Contribute: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/contri...   Want to work with Acharya Prashant? Apply to the Foundation here: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/hiring...  ➖➖➖➖➖➖  Video Information: Interview session, 12.02.20, Greater Noida, Uttar Pradesh, India   Context: ~ Why is Nature so violent? ~ How are we associated with the body? ~ How to maintain a good relationship? ~ What is the right time to be into a relationship? ~ What is relationship? ~ How to make relationship healthy? ~ When and how a relationship turns into a toxic relationship? ~ How to choose a life partner?  ~ What is real love? ~ Is live-in relationship sign of degradation of our culture?  Music Credits: Milind Date ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .

Transcript

00:00 What is the importance of a husband?

00:06 When we are in a certain relationship, and I've talked to a lot of husbands,

00:12 and they... so they are very individual and very ambitious and very outgoing and very daring,

00:21 you know, in their life in general.

00:24 However, when it comes to going home,

00:28 you know, meeting their wives or bringing their wives, you know, out in the open,

00:33 there's always an underlying fear, always, without exception.

00:37 So I want to understand why when someone is out in the open without

00:43 their better half, as we say.

00:47 Now you're talking of husbands specifically.

00:49 I'm talking about husbands.

00:50 What you're saying is husbands are lion outside the house.

00:53 And a sheep.

00:54 Yeah, and a bleating sheep, meek sheep within the house.

00:58 Within the house, yes.

00:59 Why does that happen? You're asking?

01:02 Yes, why does that happen?

01:03 Because the husband has been a cheat.

01:07 He carries a guilty conscience.

01:10 That's why he can't face the wife.

01:15 And when you can't face the wife, then hatred and violence arise in you.

01:22 Now you would abuse and even probably assault the wife.

01:26 But why has he been a cheat?

01:29 He has been a cheat because the relationship was founded on a fraud.

01:33 The husband has been a cheat.

01:38 And right now I'm focusing only on the husband because you asked about the husband.

01:41 The story on the wife's side is not very different, but we'll focus on the husband right now.

01:46 How did the relationship start in the first place?

01:52 The man was looking at the woman in a 70-80% physical way.

01:58 I'm generalizing.

01:59 It's a very broad average, but just get the idea.

02:02 From the man's side, the attraction is primarily physical and a little bit emotional.

02:13 From the woman's side, the thing is primarily emotional and a little bit physical.

02:19 There might be exceptions.

02:22 Right?

02:22 So do not look to contradict me right now.

02:24 Get the drift.

02:25 Man says, "I love you".

02:32 The woman reciprocates.

02:33 Both are using the same words.

02:35 But what they are saying is very different.

02:38 When the man says, "I love you", what he means is, "When can we get into bed?"

02:44 When the woman says, "I love you", what she means is, "When can we get married?"

02:50 Again, it's a very broad generalization.

02:52 Support.

02:52 Yes.

02:53 And the man knows what the woman is expecting from him.

02:58 The man fully well knows what the woman is expecting from him.

03:02 How does the man know?

03:05 Because the man has seen his mother.

03:08 The man has seen his mother.

03:12 The man has seen the emotional side of the mother.

03:17 So the man knows the woman's emotionality.

03:20 But the woman has never seen the sexual side of her father.

03:24 So the woman really does not know man's sexuality that much.

03:29 You get this.

03:31 The man knows the woman's emotionality.

03:34 But the woman does not know the man's sexuality.

03:38 The woman takes the man almost as some kind of a male friend.

03:45 Sakhi Saheli.

03:48 I have found a male Saheli.

03:50 That's the boyfriend.

03:52 But the man fully well knows what the girlfriend means to him.

03:57 The girlfriend means a nice consumable body.

04:00 Right?

04:02 So the man is deceiving.

04:05 The woman is not deceiving so much.

04:07 The woman is more morally upright in her internal calculation than the man is.

04:15 The woman is saying, "Now I am committed to you.

04:17 Now let the two of us get settled and build our nest and lay our eggs."

04:23 That's the future life she wants.

04:27 The man does not want any life or anything.

04:32 The man just wants to lay her.

04:37 But he cannot really lay her or have her body secured for his consumption unless he marries.

04:49 So with some kind of a reluctance he marries.

04:54 Now the marriage is not because he really wants to confine himself to a nest.

05:00 The marriage is so that he can peacefully consume.

05:06 She keeps resisting me and she keeps raising heckles every time I ask her for the next round of sex.

05:13 Now just to shut down her mouth, just to shut her up, let the two of us get wedded.

05:21 And so there is the wedding.

05:23 After the wedding, the woman has her expectations, lot of expectations.

05:34 And the man had never really signed up to meet those expectations.

05:38 But he has to.

05:40 He tries to but he cannot fulfill the expectations because his heart is not there.

05:48 His heart is only in the bed.

05:51 But the woman wants him to do a lot of other things as well.

05:55 Slowly it starts becoming open and apparent that the man had defrauded the woman.

06:04 So now he has to act like a guilty thief in his own house.

06:11 That's why you might be the president of the world.

06:14 But in your own house, you just keep bleating like a goat.

06:19 That's the nature of the relationship.

06:25 That's the nature of the bodies.

06:31 Anything to uplift yourself from this level that you have put in?

06:36 First of all, stop deriving the benefits from that level.

06:45 You have had enough of the woman's body.

06:48 You have exploited the woman and suffered exploitation in return.

06:59 See to what extent you still want to continue this bodily business.

07:03 If the exchange of bodies is almost a business transaction,

07:13 then you will have to keep paying the price.

07:17 There is a trade-off.

07:25 In fact, there is no one more suitably placed to enter celibacy

07:35 than someone who has been married for around 10-15 years now.

07:40 Because he is the one who has seen the great price that one has to pay

07:48 to keep consuming a body.

07:54 In fact, he should be someone who should lose all appetite for sex now.

07:59 No excitement should now occur to him.

08:05 If time allows, then maybe we can talk about the woman's side of the story as well,

08:13 which you had mentioned.

08:15 The woman's side of the story.

08:19 She too comes to know after a point that things are not as she had dreamed of them.

08:38 She is a woman later, a person first.

08:46 She has as much intellect as the man, if not more.

08:50 Once she realizes that the story is different,

09:03 then she ought to act maturely and give up the old narrative.

09:16 It is never too late to grow up.

09:21 Or is it?

09:23 There is obviously much more to life than taming a man.

09:43 It is no great accomplishment to have a domesticated husband. Or is it?

09:48 If that is the only thing that you can show up for your work of a lifetime,

10:00 a tamely brought up husband, then probably your life has not been worth much.

10:12 Unfortunately, most women do not have much more to show.

10:29 She has great potential and it is such a shame that all her potential remains concealed

10:49 below the roles of wife, mother. It is almost like a pearl lying at the bottom of a sea of hormones.

11:07 She has to dive deep into this sea, not get really drowned into her hormones,

11:19 discover the pearl and resurface.

11:27 It is possible. You can keep your husband in control.

11:43 You may discover within 5 or 7 years of your marriage or within 5 or 7 days of your marriage

11:52 that your husband is an absolute scoundrel, an idiot of the worst category.

12:00 And you may decide that the best course of action in such a situation is to keep your husband leashed,

12:09 is to ensure that he doesn't run away from the house.

12:16 And you may succeed in doing that. And most women indeed do succeed in doing that.

12:22 You ask them, tell me of your success story and she will immediately point towards that husband,

12:29 that caricature roaming around in the household like a pet dog.

12:36 If you are trying to take pleasure in taming an animal, at least tame a lion,

12:50 this husband of yours is a whining puppy, that too with some kind of a disease that makes him itch all the time.

13:02 What's the glory in taming him and riding him and controlling him?

13:16 Grow beyond the man. The man is such a little thing.

13:26 Your potential is far, far greater than the man.

13:36 That man or any man as you said. Yes.

13:41 Yes.

13:53 No part of this recording may be reproduced without Mooji Media Ltd.'s express consent.

13:58 See description for links to sources required for recording.

Category

Transcript

Recommended