What is the Love that saints sing of? How is it different from self-love? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...   Read 3 handpicked wisdom articles, just for you: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/articl...  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Video Information: Shastra Kaumudi Live, 20.12.2018, Advait BodhSthal, Noida, India   Context: ~ What is self-love? ~ What is the Love that saints sing of?  ~ Is love that saints sing of different from self-love? ~ How love helps in the path of liberation? ~ What is the difference between self-love and spiritual love? ~ How to live selflessly?  Music Credits: Milind Date ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Transcript

00:00What does Love mean to you, and what does it mean to me?

00:08Jai Ji, you told us about Love, about that crawler that looks up to the sky,

00:15and this word Love, we have heard it, read it a lot of time in various sacred texts,

00:22and it leaves us perplexed because

00:24there is some talk of Love as something that has been passing through generations

00:33and eventually turns or ends into marriage, a bond of two people.

00:42Then there are those who talk of self-love and self-respect,

00:50no, my life, my rules.

00:53Then there are the Bhakti saints who have talked of Love, of longing.

01:00So, there is this question by Dori Febri for Montreal.

01:07He says that, I want to know this Love that the saints talk of.

01:12Is it a feeling that one comes to, or is it permanent?

01:17Because I have been badly disappointed by the social Love,

01:21and even if I claim that it is 100% false, I still get attached to it.

01:30And the self-love doesn't really help me within the moments of agitation,

01:34or really doesn't give me any direction.

01:36So, what is this longing that Kabir Sahib is talking of?

01:40You seem quite experienced, Dori, in matters of social Love.

01:45So, I probably need not say much about it.

02:04What is this Love that saints sing of?

02:07You'll have to come out and give yourself a chance to fall in real Love.

02:29Because it is not something that can be known through

02:33prior experience, or books, or the narrative of others.

02:46So, you will not be able to recognize it when it happens.

02:55To recognize something, it is important that you must have had an earlier experience of it.

03:04If you've never seen a handkerchief, it would be very difficult for you to come across this

03:08thing and say it's a handkerchief.

03:13This Love that saints sing of, you cannot be told about.

03:24You can just give yourself an opportunity to probably let it happen to you.

03:40And when it would be happening to you, you will not be able to name it, recognize it,

03:48identify it.

03:51Later, way later, one day you will suddenly remark, oh,

04:02have I really been in Love all this while?

04:06Is this that?

04:09And then you will feel so stupid.

04:10You have been in Love for so long without knowing it.

04:22Not only have you not known that you have been in Love, you have no idea who the Beloved is.

04:32And yet you are madly in Love.

04:35No doubt about that.

04:40This social Love is a very, very marketable thing.

04:54It's a thing that belongs to the warehouses, the shops, the inventories, the shopping bags.

05:05When they are setting the Love goals and marriage goals.

05:09Love goals and marriage goals.

05:12So, you can easily identify it.

05:24The man is gaping at you or the woman is winking at you.

05:28You can immediately stamp Love.

05:38Hey, I just got a wink and I have recorded it.

05:50Love certified.

05:50He just held my hand.

06:02When I think of him, certain things happen in my body.

06:08Love.

06:14In the Love that Kabir Sahab talks of,

06:22stranger things happen, but those stranger things have not been chronicled.

06:31Great things happen in that Love, but they are not pattern-based.

06:37One thing happens with one person, another thing happens with another person.

06:47So, there is no set way of telling that you have fallen in the Great Divine Love.

06:59The talkative one may go quiet.

07:02The quiet one may go singing.

07:04How do you know what a definite sign is?

07:13On one day, you might be found weeping.

07:16On the other day, you are found ecstatic.

07:21Such contradiction.

07:28And lovers are found praising their luck.

07:31Lovers of God are often found cursing the moment when it happened to them.

07:48Look at the songs of saints.

07:51Often they are full of such deep melancholy.

07:54It borders on grudge.

08:10You almost feel as if the singer is complaining.

08:14He is saying, why did it happen to me?

08:16And he is saying, you are killing me.

08:23Softly, silently, gradually, why are you doing this to me?

08:29And the saints have repeatedly asked this.

08:33Why are you doing this to me?

08:40And the beloved is so indifferent, even arrogant.

08:44He does not even bother to respond.

08:47As if he is saying, if it is too much for you, walk out.

08:52If you can't handle it, break up.

08:58He doesn't bother.

09:03It's all yours to gain or lose.

09:06He is non-challenged.

09:11But very beautiful.

09:17You can't get him and you can't avoid him.

09:22What to do?

09:29So, if I have not already confused you enough, Duri, it suffices to say

09:37that transcendental love cannot be detected.

09:59For very long, it will go unnamed.

10:02And it's good that it goes unnamed because if you come to know too soon

10:18that you have fallen in real love, then you will block that love.

10:26It is great that the real thing keeps happening for very long outside of your knowledge.

10:41You know, once the fetus reaches three months or four months, it cannot be aborted anymore.

10:52So, it's good if to a violent and loveless mother, the news of her pregnancy comes quite late.

11:14At least now she will not be able to kill the child.

11:23Had she immediately known that she is pregnant, the child was gone.

11:43Come out, come out.

11:44That's all that can be said to you.

11:47Give yourself a chance.

11:49A chance for what?

11:50That cannot be told.

11:52A chance to let strange things happen.

12:03The other two types of love that you have talked of, love towards a woman,

12:09culminating in marriage and self-love, these are just Prakriti.

12:19Game of chemicals.

12:22Chemicals eager to react.

12:38Atoms eager to satisfy their valencies.

12:45Two missing electrons, and I can see them in that woman.

13:00Can you give them to me, baby?

13:07No, if I give them to you, I will fall short.

13:10All right, let's go co-operative.

13:12Or if it's just, you know, the dating flirting kind of thing, more than a friend,

13:32just, you know, the dating flirting kind of thing, more than a friend,

13:46yet not a girlfriend.

13:51It's a hydrogen bond.

13:52It exists, but not strongly.

14:12So, that's the brain.

14:16Dopamine and the other chemicals you already know very well of.

14:28Methane.

14:31You know, if you observe your brain, you see strange things.

14:41If you are a young man, and you see a beautiful woman,

14:49there is a certain impact on the brain, and it can be measured.

14:58And equally, if you are a young man,

15:00and equally, if you are a young man,

15:06and you get some unexpected money, there is a certain impact on the brain, that too can be measured.

15:16And if you are a young man, and somebody comes and showers you with effusive praise,

15:22there is a certain impact on the brain, and it can be measured.

15:26You have probably already guessed what I am next going to say.

15:30These three impacts are the same, or at least very similar, very similar.

15:39Same chemical, same kind of brain waves, same movement of electricity in the neurons,

15:50in the synapses, same kind of lighting up of particular brain areas.

16:01You know what is common between the three experiences? The ego is feeling satisfied.

16:09Good girl, good money, good reputation, same source.

16:17All that is just Prakriti.

16:21And that is why often if you cannot get a good woman, good money helps.

16:32And that is also why if you have a good reputation, you are likely to get a good woman.

16:38Or if you have good money, you are likely

16:41to have both good reputation and a good woman. All these three are just one, Prakriti.

16:56Anshanji, can we say that even because of the availability of more and more resources now,

17:04people who are getting money more easily than it was before,

17:09so even now they are deciding to not to get married for the same reason,

17:13because all of their requirements are getting filled, that same chemical, by other means now.

17:20Yes, partly yes, partly yes.

17:30Also, as you shared that the self-love, self-respect, or the ones who say that

17:37there is no justification to my actions and this is my life, they say that this is all Prakriti.

17:43But many spiritual teachers, they teach that the self-love is basically, it's more of a spiritual

17:50love and that is how they even meditate upon that and do the practices accordingly. Why does that

17:57happen? It sells. It sells. It sells. It sells. The ego wants to remain confined within itself.

18:28The ego wants to know only that which is within itself

18:41and also claim that that which is within itself is full and absolute.

18:59Therefore, everything that is lovable is also bound to be within

19:17the circumference of the ego.

19:24That's what self-love is.

19:26Self-love is living by the ego center and self-love

19:36expresses itself in many neo-age slogans.

19:45Accept me as I am.

19:48Love me for who I am.

19:50Be who you are. Be yourself. I must warn the viewers, the listeners,

20:03that these are extremely poisonous statements.

20:10Extremely poisonous. Be cautious of them. I'll repeat.

20:16Love me for who I am. Be who you are. Accept me as I am. Be yourself.

20:30Live by your heart. That's really

20:37top of tops. Live by your heart. Listen to your heart.

20:55These are extremely

20:57dangerous. Avoid them. All these statements are just the attempt of the ego to declare itself

21:18the sole authority. All these attempts are

21:23to say that I know best.

21:29All these attempts are anti-truth.

21:34All these attempts say I know.

21:42I know. I will decide. The truth rests in me.

21:53I am the truth. The ego declaring I am the truth.

21:57I am the truth. I know. I am lovely. And I will decide.

22:08This is not merely not spiritual. It is actually anti-spiritual.

22:15This is egoism to the core.

22:18Live by your heart. Live by your understanding. That's another

22:25new age motive. Live by your understanding.

22:48And there are a few more as well. The young people would know.

23:03Believe in yourself.

23:07Be the master. The driver of your life. Be the driver of your life.

23:12Is there any significance of the statement that accept yourself as you are?

23:23Yeah, that means accept your cage. Accept your cage. The moment you say I accept myself as I am,

23:32you have killed all dissatisfaction against yourself.

23:38Now there is no possibility of change.

23:47The spiritual one

23:51does not say I am dissatisfied against myself, so I want to be a particular way.

24:00He merely says I am dissatisfied.

24:03Please understand this. There is one kind of egoism that says

24:09I am satisfied with myself. I have accepted myself as I am. That kind of creed.

24:17There is another kind of egoism that says I am not happy as I am and therefore I want to become

24:24and therefore I want to become somebody else. This too is egoism.

24:34Who is the spiritual one? He says as long as I decide what to become,

24:44I will remain dissatisfied. I am dissatisfied as I am and I will remain dissatisfied as I would be.

24:54The only way to gain contentment is to leave matters to something beyond the ego.

25:13So, spirituality is neither about passively accepting who you are, nor is it about

25:23radically rebelling to bring about a new order.

25:33And you do not think that those who have been great rebels and revolutionaries

25:38and who have tried to bring about a new internal or external or social order

25:44are spiritual people. They are not.

25:53And therefore, spirituality is so very

25:59tricky, puzzling.

26:05It irritates the mind. The mind says, all right, I am prepared to accept that I am wrong.

26:12Now tell me what is right so that I can go to the right. Spirituality says not only are you wrong,

26:19you also cannot go to the right because whatever you will go to will be wrong precisely because

26:27you have chosen it and gone to it. Now this really rubs the ego in a very wrong way, in a very rough way.

26:42There are the status quoists, the pacifists and then there are the activists.

26:48The spiritual man is neither a status quoist nor an activist. He is totally different.

27:08Acharyaji, you talked about the love of saints, the love of the wise ones, about the longing.

27:14So, Alokji has asked in the same frame that, first of all, he asked that what is this longing that

27:20the saints talk of, that you already talked of in the previous answer. And then he said that

27:24we do have a deep desire which gets manifested in running behind rules or finds its ways to

27:32materialize in our relationships with things. So, there is this person who is preparing for

27:38competitive exams. When you look into his eyes, you know that he is deeply desirous. There is a

27:43deep desire that's there to crack that exam and that is something that happens in relationships

27:49too when the two people are there together. So, he says that do they have any similarity,

27:54this deep desire and the longing that the saints talk of and also how do they differ?

27:58The similarity is that the desire is deeper than the normal desires.

28:12The difference is that even this deep desire is not deep enough.

28:21The similarity between deep desire for a woman or worldly success

28:27and the spiritual longing is that in both you won't change.

28:40The difference is that in deep worldly desire

28:47you are prepared to change everything except your core. But in spiritual longing,

28:57you are prepared to let go of absolutely everything including yourself.

29:04When you prepare for a worldly mission, be it a competitive exam or be it about wooing a woman,

29:15you do it for yourself. You do it for yourself.

29:21You will add the new qualification to your name.

29:29You will add the woman you are wooing to your house. You are doing it for yourself.

29:36You are doing it for yourself. But in spiritual longing,

29:46that which you are seeking or courting is so big that you cannot bring it to your house.

29:56Your house is too small to contain it.

29:58So, you go to his house.

30:10You bring the woman to your house. But when you are in love with God,

30:18you don't bring God to your house. You leave your house and you enter God's house.

30:23So, there is a bit of similarity. The similarity is that there is a lot of fervor.

30:29There is a lot of desirous energy. But the difference is tremendous.

30:40In one case, you are seeking to boost yourself. In the other case,

30:45you are prepared to just fade away, dissolve away.

31:09It's another dimension.

31:14God is not something you can add to your CV.

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