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Video Information: 12.01.23, BITS, Goa
Context:
What is real love?
Our love is only hormonal?
Why do we come in a relationship?
How to form a healthy relationship?
What is the real meaning of love?
When you love something, you kill it!
Be very cautious of natural love
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...
Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books?
Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...
➖➖➖➖➖➖
Video Information: 12.01.23, BITS, Goa
Context:
What is real love?
Our love is only hormonal?
Why do we come in a relationship?
How to form a healthy relationship?
What is the real meaning of love?
When you love something, you kill it!
Be very cautious of natural love
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:30I think this is a follow-up question to one of your videos in which you described
00:36about somebody probably raised a question about physical love and then
00:40you explained and then you concluded with the statement that
00:46Prem karna seekhna hota hai. So I wanted to learn more about this and how can I
00:51cultivate this kind of a love in my own life
01:00You see, whatever comes naturally to you must be taken as problematic. I'm saying
01:13this with a lot of responsibility and intent. Instead we have been taught to
01:21accept natural things as beneficial, as alright, just because they are natural.
01:31That which is natural is exactly that which keeps you in bondage. That which
01:44you usually call as love is just natural attraction belonging to the domain of
01:56attachment, asakti, lust. One has to look at it with attention. Is it love? Is it
02:15love? Real love cannot be something so cheap that it starts coming naturally to
02:28you the day you are 14. Now I'm 14, my hormones are active, my glands are
02:40overactive, there is puberty. So I'm in love and I couldn't have been in love at
02:49the age of 10 or 11. Ever seen somebody falling in love at the age of 4, 6, 5, something?
03:01Keep medical tragedies aside. You have stuff of that kind. Somebody is generating a lot
03:08of testosterone even at the age 4. So those kind of cases can be. How is it so that love
03:18of the kind that we know of happens only after you cross a certain age? Obviously that's
03:25not love. That's something of the body and if certain hormones are taken away from the
03:33body that kind of love cannot happen. Right? So what love is that? That's just iron and
03:42magnet, sodium and water, a chemical reaction. That's what that love is. But unfortunately
03:54even very very intelligent people, brilliant in their fields of occupation, brilliant in
04:05dealing with the objective world, when it comes to love, they do not know their mind.
04:12They do not know what is happening within and then they make disastrous life choices
04:21in terms of choosing a person, choosing a residence, choosing a vocation.
04:32Those who have researched into it, those who have known something, they have said,
04:38please understand what the mind is. They have said the mind is a thirsty entity.
04:44The mind is an entity that is always in want. Therefore what is love? That which
04:57quenches the mind's thirst is love. The mind is always in a state of attraction.
05:06It is attracted to something that would bring peace to it. So what then is love?
05:13Something that would really bring peace to you, that is love, not hormonal activity.
05:21That cannot be love. But what we find is that men are necessarily attracted to women,
05:28women are necessarily attracted to men. Obviously that has to be hormonal. Even if men are attracted
05:34to men, that is for sexual reasons. So even that is hormonal. That is not love. That is
05:46just the jungle. That is just the old natural prakritic game of reproduction playing itself out.
05:56You might say that you have fallen for her eyes or hair or voice or style or knowledge. But
06:09ultimately what you get is a baby and that's what all natural love is for, procreation, nothing else.
06:17Take sex out of the equation and tell me, will people marry at all? Come on guys,
06:29be a bit honest. If it is certain that there is no possibility of sex, would you ever marry?
06:38Then you know what you marry for. You can marry if you know no money is involved. You can marry
06:48if you know that the right caste is not involved. You can marry even if a lot of other desirable
06:55things are not in the picture. You will still somehow tolerate the marriage. But you cannot
07:07tolerate the marriage if there is no sex involved. Even the law says that if there is no sex for a
07:13period of X months, then the couple is entitled to be divorced. You can be separated because there
07:25is no real action happening. So you are not man and wife anymore. So that's not love.
07:37Nor is it love when you say, oh I love chicken. Sometimes you want a living body, sometimes you
07:53want a dead body and both these things you call as love. The thing is that it is your love that
08:02turns the living body into a dead body. Because you love the chicken, therefore the chicken is
08:07dead. And that defines our love. When you love something, you kill it. The same mind and the
08:19same mouth that says, oh I love chicken, that also says, oh I love my kids, oh I also love my wife,
08:23oh I also love my country. See what your love did to the chicken. That's what your love does
08:30to the country and the family. And now you understand why the family and the country and
08:35the entire world are in such a terrible shape because you love them. Love means consumption
08:45to us. That's what comes naturally to us. Be very cautious of this word, natural. Never,
08:54never use this word to justify what you are doing or feeling. Don't say, but it is natural. If it is
09:01natural, go to the jungle. All natural things are for that place. Is it natural to sit in this
09:09auditorium? Is it natural to be carrying those gadgets? Then why do you keep talking of nature?
09:17Is it natural to wear clothes? Is it natural to have thoughts? Is it natural to do whatever,
09:26to be educated? Is it natural? Is it natural to brush your teeth? Then why do you keep saying,
09:34you know, but in the jungle the lion kills the deer and eats it, so it is natural to kill animals
09:40and eat them. I am a flesh eater, I cannot live without chicken and it is natural to eat those
09:45things. You know, I have these two teeth. Have you heard those arguments? You know,
09:54these two teeth, so I will kill. Alright, kill, but never brush those teeth. And kill with those
10:04two teeth just as the lion tears into the flesh with its teeth. Do you have that strength? In the
10:14jungle all hunting happens with your hands and claws and teeth. Do that and eat raw flesh. That's
10:23natural. Come on, show. Why do you keep talking of natural things? In nature there is no husband
10:30and wife. Why do you marry? Your wife, the neighbor has an equal right over her. That's natural. So
10:42if you say flesh eating is natural, I will say, send your wife over. That's natural. In the jungle
10:52do you have priests and legal systems and things like marriage? So be very cautious of stuff that
11:03is natural. You know, now he is 18, so he is falling for girls. All this is natural. All this
11:10is bullshit. And if you are to do natural things, tell yourself, I do not deserve to have a B.Tech
11:27degree. I do not deserve to ride a car. I do not deserve to operate Facebook or Instagram. All I
11:37deserve is a cave in the jungle. Go there and do all the natural things. Right? Fair enough? That's
11:49why I said, love has to be learned. Real love has to be learned. It cannot come to you naturally.
11:56Don't say, I am 18, therefore I have naturally fallen in love. It takes a lifetime to learn
12:02love. Love is not so cheap that you will just get it the hormonal way. Without doing anything,
12:14without putting in any effort, without earning it, love has to be earned. And that's what all
12:22spiritual pursuit is about. Learning love. Learning love. We do not know love. 99 out of
12:36100 people die without having loved even for a second. See how horrible that is. Is it not? To
12:47live for 80 years and not love even for a moment. Is that not horrible? That's how most people live.
12:58No love. Loveless lives. Loveless. Loveless. Just natural. And that too distorted kind of nature.
13:11In jungle at least you have pure nature. Rabbits do what they are conditioned to do biologically.
13:18That's nature. Right? For them. We do what the jungle does but in a distorted way. So we are
13:32far worse than nature. We have fallen below Prakriti. Whereas the mandate if you are born
13:41a human being is to rise above Prakriti. Are you getting it? Oh the mother loves the child. Does
13:58she not? Come on. Come on. The mother has the child. Right? And the child is like what? 6 days
14:10old, 10 days old. The mother is still in the hospital. And then the doctor comes and says,
14:17unfortunately you know when the kid was there being treated in the incubator, lots of kids have
14:25to be kept in the incubator for a few days. Oh your kid got swapped. No this is not your kid.
14:31That one is your kid. What happens to this kid then? And she loves the kid. What happens to the
14:37love? Don't you see this is not love. This is just animalistic attachment. Possessiveness. My baby
14:49coming from my body. This is not love. No. The mother-child relationship is not at all of love.
14:58That's why love needs to be learnt. Just because you have given birth, you will not automatically
15:10become loving. That's called ownership. Not love. Mamta. Mamta is not love. Mama means mine. My
15:22relationship with this thing is that it is mine. Mamta. Mine. So I own it. I possess it. It is mine.
15:29And that's why I am taking care of it. Because it is mine. Just as I take care of my car. Just as I
15:36take care of my pots. Because they are mine. No that's not love. That's not love. I love my
15:45doggie. So I feed it chicken. Because I am an animal lover. Is that love? But that's what you
15:55hear all the time. Don't you? That's the world we live in. I love my doggie so much. Being an animal
16:03lover, I feed it the choicest chicken. And I get a million likes on Instagram. I just take my doggie
16:16and so you look at my doggie so ill and I'm taking care of it. And nobody bothers to ask what really
16:26is going on. Nobody bothers to ask because in the jungle that which appears is the truth. The animal
16:40cannot know beyond the obvious. That's why they are trapped so easily. No? The animal by definition
16:51has no insight. It just believes in what it sees. And so do we, most of us as human beings. We just
16:58believe in what we see. If you believe in what you see, you are an animal. What to do? Insight. What
17:14does insight mean? There is something beyond the obvious. Something beneath the apparent. And if I
17:23look at it, that's what makes me a human being. And by the way, that is also what is love. To know
17:33the reality. You cannot be in love if you do not know what is real. And you cannot know what is
17:44real if you are attached to what is unreal. So the first thing in love is to drop the nonsense. To clear
17:53the rubbish. That's what is love. That's the first act of love. I am in love. So what do I do? I pick up a broom,
18:02clear the rubbish. Love demolishes. Love destroys. Love cleans up. Love clears. Therefore it is said
18:13that love gives clarity because love clears. Something? Something related to this? Somebody?
18:34We are done with this. People who are in love? How I love it to address the lovers. That's what
18:49keeps me going. Yes. Sir, an extension of this question is, I think in one of those same videos,
18:59you also said that if there is a mathematician who sits down to do some mathematics or if there is a
19:05singer who sits down to do his riyaz or any practitioner who does something that they love,
19:11that is also a form of devotion. That is devotion. Is that what you meant to say? Yes, that's very
19:17true. But we don't take it that way. We don't take it that way. We are so enamored with the
19:28sensual objects that we do not see what is hidden. Somebody is prostrating in front of a deity.
19:40We will say, this one is a devotee. But a scientist, sincerely committed to the truth,
19:51experimenting in his lab, will never say, now this one is a real devotee. We talk of devotion
19:59as something exclusive to the temples. How is this that is happening here? Not a religious act,
20:08please tell me. That which is happening here, how is this not meditation? How is this not devotion?
20:14At this moment, how is this place not a temple? Please tell me. But it does not occur to us. Sir,
20:24how can it be a temple? There is no deity. There is no tomb. We do not see the formal apparatus here.
20:33Learn to see what is not visible. If you will see only that which is visible, you will never be able
20:44to see beauty. You will only see cosmetics. You understand what is cosmetic? Made up, false.
20:53Only falseness is visible. The truth has to be seen with insight. Insight. Are you getting it?