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00:00In a few minutes, when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise, how would you prefer I do it?
00:06The standard I told you so, or the classic neener-neener, or just my normal look of haughty derision?
00:14You don't know we're wrong yet.
00:16Haughty derision it is.
00:19Excuse me, I'm Amy Farrah Fowler, you're Sheldon Cooper.
00:23Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler.
00:25I'm sorry to inform you that you have been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely.
00:32Additionally, I'm being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.
00:36If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it.
00:40If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery.
00:45In any case, I'm here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year.
00:50Interesting. My mother and I have the same agreement about church.
00:55I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.
01:01Then you might want to avoid East Texas.
01:04Noted. Now before this goes any further, you should know that all forms of physical contact up to and including coitus are off the table.
01:14May I buy you a beverage?
01:17Tepid water, please.
01:27Good God, what have we done?
01:31It was nice spending this time with you.
01:33Wait. I have a request.
01:36Yes?
01:37I'd like you to meet my mother.
01:39I see. Can I get back to you on that?
01:41Certainly. Good night.
01:43Good night.
01:47Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard!
02:02Amy Farrah Fowler has asked me to meet her mother.
02:04Yeah, so?
02:06What does that mean?
02:09Well, you know how you're always saying that Amy is a girl who's your friend and not your girlfriend?
02:14Uh huh.
02:15Can't say that anymore.
02:16What are you working on?
02:20I'm removing my digital footprint from the internet so Amy Farrah Fowler can't find me
02:25and compel me to meet her mother.
02:27Oh, you're going off the grid.
02:29Exactly.
02:30The old Unabomber approach, kudos.
02:35I've also sent Amy a relationship termination notice and changed my cell phone number and
02:40email address.
02:41What if she just comes over?
02:44She'll get lost.
02:45We no longer live at 2311 Los Robles.
02:48We now live at 311 Los Robles.
02:55You changed the address on the building?
02:58What about mail?
02:59Oh, no worries.
03:00I explained my predicament to our letter carrier.
03:02He was sympathetic.
03:03His exact words were, got your back, Jack.
03:05Bitches be crazy.
03:09Who is it?
03:15Amy Farrah Fowler.
03:18Darn, she found me.
03:22She's been here before.
03:25The only flaw in an otherwise perfect plan.
03:29Nice to meet you too, Sheldon.
03:31I honestly didn't believe Amy when she told me she had a boyfriend.
03:36I assure you, I am quite real.
03:39And I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.
03:42What?
03:44Oh, yes.
03:46We are like wild animals in heat.
03:49It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt.
03:52Amy, what is he saying?
03:57He wanted me to have a boyfriend, Mother.
03:58Well, here he is.
04:01Have to sign off now.
04:05My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins.
04:08Oh, yes.
04:10It's time for me to make love to your daughter's vagina.
04:18Thank you, Sheldon.
04:19That went very well.
04:20Agreed.
04:21Amy, I find myself wondering if we should actually engage in coitus at least one time.
04:27In our relationship.
04:29Bazinga.
04:33Bedtime.
04:34Please show yourself out.
04:35I'm going to ask you something and I'd like you to keep an open mind.
04:40Always.
04:42At this moment, I find myself craving human intimacy and physical contact.
04:47Oh, boy.
04:51You know ours is a relationship of the mind.
04:57Proposal.
04:58One wild night of torrid lovemaking that soothes my soul and inflames my loins.
05:07Counter-proposal.
05:09I will gently stroke your head and repeat, aw, who's a good Amy?
05:19How about this?
05:22French kissing.
05:23Seven minutes in heaven culminating in second base.
05:31Neck massage.
05:35Then you get me that beverage.
05:44We cuddle.
05:45Final offer.
05:48Very well.
05:56Oh, boy.
05:57I'm just saying, second base is right there.
06:21Pardon me.
06:22Excuse me.
06:23Hi, Stuart.
06:24Hi, Sheldon.
06:25Pardon me.
06:26Sheldon, what are you doing here?
06:27The thought of you sitting in a darkened theater with a character like Stuart is repellent.
06:47No offense, Stuart.
06:48None taken.
06:49Although repellent is kind of a strong word.
06:55I'm sorry this causes you discomfort, but based on the currently established parameters
07:02of our relationship, I can put myself in any repellent situation I want.
07:06Again, Stuart, please, you're being rude.
07:13Anything else?
07:15I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship.
07:23I'm listening.
07:26With the understanding that nothing changes whatsoever, physical or otherwise, I would
07:32not object to us no longer characterizing you as not my girlfriend.
07:40Interesting.
07:42Now try it without the quadruple negative.
07:52You're being impossible.
07:54Hi, Stuart.
07:57Fine.
07:59Amy, will you be my girlfriend?
08:06Yes.
08:07That's enough of that.
08:10Sorry to interrupt.
08:19You two enjoy your date.
08:22Here's a dollar for your troubles.
08:24Get yourself some Sour Patch Kids.
08:27Amy?
08:28Amy?
08:29Amy?
08:30Oh, right.
08:31Funeral.
08:32Amy.
08:33Hello, Sheldon.
08:34I'm not allowed to wear my silver surfer necktie.
08:41You can wear a bathrobe.
08:44I think I'm too sick to go to the funeral.
08:46You're sick?
08:47You poor kid.
08:49We'll see ya.
08:50Sheldon, aren't you going to take care of me?
08:54Me?
08:55No.
08:56I'm not that kind of doctor.
08:58But our relationship agreement clearly states that when one of us is sick, the other must
09:02take care of them.
09:04Oh, I see the confusion.
09:07The intent behind that clause was to force you to take care of me when I'm ill.
09:13When you're feeling better, you'll think that's funny.
09:20Never mind.
09:21Good night, Sheldon.
09:32Amy?
09:33Amy?
09:34Amy?
09:35I made a commitment in writing to comfort you in times like this.
09:41And additionally, you are my girlfriend and I care about your well-being.
09:47Thank you, Sheldon.
09:49You're welcome.
09:50Now let's get this over with.
09:58102.2.
10:01Exactly what it was half an hour ago.
10:04It's like I'm not even trying to get better.
10:10Sheldon, you don't get over the flu in half an hour.
10:13Well, not with that attitude.
10:16I have to say, I'm finding your bedside manner a little lacking.
10:20I'm sorry.
10:21I just want you to get better as soon as possible.
10:24And with that goal in mind, let me ask you a question.
10:28Do you believe in the placebo effect?
10:30Of course I do.
10:31There have been many studies proving its validity.
10:34Great.
10:35Now, this may look like a Tic Tac.
10:39But it is really a powerful medication
10:42specifically designed to cure your illness
10:45as well as freshen your breath.
10:48Sheldon, this isn't helping.
10:50Why don't you just let me get some rest?
10:52How can you sleep?
10:54I'm not done making you feel better.
10:56I still have to put a cold rag on your head,
10:59sing to you, and apply VapoRub to your chest.
11:09You want to rub something on my chest?
11:14Yes.
11:16All over it.
11:21Maybe we should start with that.
11:25Now you're being a responsible patient.
11:39Now, you may notice some tingling.
11:44Oh, I'm counting on it.
11:51Whatever you got me, you can return.
11:55No.
11:57No. After everything you didn't do for me tonight,
11:59I want you to have it.
12:02What's this?
12:03Read it.
12:05Sheldon Cooper, Caltech University.
12:07Employee information?
12:08At the bottom.
12:10In case of emergency, please contact...
12:13Amy Farrah Fowler.
12:18And there's my phone number.
12:23This is the most beautiful gift you could have ever given me.
12:28Well, I thought if I have a stroke or a kidney stone,
12:33who would I want to share that with?
12:39And you picked me.
12:42Because like you said, you're my girlfriend.
12:45Oh, Sheldon.
12:46Yeah.
12:51Okay.
12:53Stop ruining Valentine's Day and order my pizza.
12:58Amy.
12:59Amy.
13:00Amy.
13:01Amy.
13:05Sheldon, what are you doing here so late?
13:08I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about what happened earlier between us.
13:13Also, I had one heck of a bus nap.
13:17Speaking of which, do you want some mutton and coconut milk?
13:21No.
13:22Boy, I cannot give this stuff away.
13:26What do you want?
13:28Amy, this isn't easy to say.
13:33All relationships are difficult.
13:36But even more so when you're in one with a person
13:39who struggles with everyday social interactions.
13:43And frankly, who can strike some people as being kind of a weirdo.
13:48Sheldon, you're not a weirdo.
13:52I wasn't speaking about me.
13:57I mean, honestly.
13:58There's no telling what will set you off.
14:01Introducing myself as your boyfriend.
14:03Giving you the opportunity to drive me home.
14:06Breaking the ice with your colleagues using ethnic humor.
14:09It's the funniest kind of humor.
14:13What's your point?
14:14My point is, we're a couple.
14:17And I like you for who you are.
14:21Quirks and all.
14:25I like you too.
14:26I should hope so.
14:29I don't see anyone else banging on this door to put up with your nonsense.
14:37Not even a goodbye.
14:40You see, that's the kind of thing that makes people think you're weird.
14:44Tonight's special is a seafood risotto.
14:47Do you have any questions?
14:48I mean, I do.
14:50Does this train car have the original Lincoln pin coupler
14:53or the Miller hook and platform?
14:57I'm sorry, I meant questions about the food.
14:59Oh, of course.
15:00Is the seafood risotto being served on a train car with the original Lincoln pin coupler
15:05or the Miller hook and platform?
15:09I think we're going to need a minute.
15:13Fun fact, it's neither.
15:17They actually use the AAR type E coupler.
15:20If you listen carefully when the locomotive disconnects,
15:23you'll hear the characteristic click, thunk of the knuckle.
15:30Get out of town!
15:32Do another one, do another one.
15:35Okay, here's my impression of the Amtrak Acela barreling down the eastern corridor.
15:48It's like there's a train in your mouth.
15:53How many trains have you been on?
15:55Tons.
15:56A box fell on my head at UPS six years ago.
15:58Now I just collect disability and ride trains.
16:03Wow.
16:04Your life's amazing.
16:07Not always.
16:08A box fell on my head at UPS six years ago.
16:11Now I just collect disability and ride trains.
16:15Excuse me.
16:16You are at Valentine's dinner with your girlfriend.
16:19Now get back over there and be with her.
16:22You're right.
16:23That was insensitive of me.
16:26I have to go back to my table now.
16:28You should join us.
16:29All right.
16:32Great.
16:34Now there's two of them.
16:36Hold on to your conductor's hat.
16:38You crank the second and third axles, creating a pair of internal connecting rods,
16:42and boom, 410-4.
16:44If you think about it, the Q2 was like the 410-4 America never made.
16:48I may never stop thinking about it.
16:50Amy, what are the odds we run into this guy?
16:52Better than you think.
16:57You know, if you ask nicely, they'll let you visit the engine room.
17:01I never want this day to end.
17:03It's feeling like it never will.
17:09Hey, did I tell you what happened to me at UPS?
17:16I love you so much.
17:18I love you, too.
17:21I love you, too.
17:28Jason!
17:31You guys missed a pretty great time.
17:33The conductor and I have the same pocket watch.
17:38It was crazy.
17:39Dare I say, loco?
17:42Oh, and Amy, guess what?
17:44The conductor said as soon as he gets off work,
17:46he can come back to the bed and breakfast and play his banjo for us.
17:50Okay, I need to speak to my boyfriend in private.
17:53Like, right now.
17:54Let's go.
17:57Why are you still here?
17:59Excuse me?
18:00I think you're being a little rude.
18:02I'm being rude?
18:03You've been rude to me this entire evening.
18:05How is that possible?
18:07I've hardly spoken to you since we got on the train.
18:11I'm detecting a little friction between you two,
18:14and I don't want to be a third rail.
18:17Get it?
18:19I get it.
18:23Leave!
18:26What is your problem?
18:28It's Valentine's Day.
18:29We're supposed to be having a romantic weekend.
18:31Oh, really?
18:32Because I remember you saying that this trip
18:34was going to be something we could both enjoy.
18:36Did you mean that?
18:37Or were you just trying to trick me?
18:39Fine.
18:40It's true.
18:41I deserve romance,
18:43and I didn't know what else to make it happen.
18:47Well, if you want romance,
18:49then let's have romance.
18:51Oh, look.
18:52There's wine.
18:53Mmm.
18:55Grape juice that burns.
18:58Now let's gaze into each other's eyes.
19:01You blinked.
19:02I win.
19:03Let's see what's next.
19:04Oh, kissing's romantic.
19:16Yeah!
19:24That was nice.
19:27Good.
19:31Um...
19:33The conductor said
19:35if I come back to the engine room,
19:37he'd show me how to bring the train through a crossing.
19:42Okay, have fun.
19:46Do you want to come with me?
19:49Really?
19:50I do.
19:55Hey, guys, wait up!
19:59There's something else I've been wanting to say,
20:01but before I do, I just...
20:03I want you to know that you don't have to say it back.
20:06I know you're not ready,
20:08and I don't want you to say it
20:10just because social convention dictates that you...
20:12I love you, too.
20:17You said it.
20:19There's no denying I have feelings for you
20:21that can't be explained in any other way.
20:25I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite.
20:31But that seems even more far-fetched.
20:37The only conclusion was love.
20:43I know what's happening.
20:46This is a panic attack.
20:48Soccer mom 09 says to lie down with your feet elevated.
20:51Okay.
20:52Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
20:54Just because I love you doesn't mean girls are allowed in my room.
21:03Oh, good, you're back.
21:05We have some exciting news.
21:09Okay.
21:11As you know,
21:12Amy and I have been together a long time,
21:15and a lot of things I never thought possible
21:18now seem possible.
21:21Okay.
21:24After a careful evaluation of our relationship,
21:27we decided that the time was right to take a step forward.
21:37Okay.
21:40Do you want to say it?
21:42Let's say it together.
21:44We're getting a turtle!
21:50This is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.
21:55Sarcasm?
21:56Yes.
21:57That was tricky,
21:58because when it comes to alcohol,
21:59she generally means business.
22:03Well, we're very happy for you.
22:04Yes.
22:06Acquiring a joint pet is a big step for us.
22:09No, it's true.
22:10It means that we care so much about each other
22:12there's enough left over for an eight-ounce reptile.
22:16Why a turtle?
22:17After much deliberation,
22:19we've determined that a turtle is the ideal pet.
22:22They don't shed fur.
22:24They don't make noise.
22:25For Halloween, we can dress him as a cobblestone.
22:29And if he ever goes berserk,
22:31I know I can outrun him.
22:33Coincidentally, that's also why I chose you as a roommate.
22:37Well, congratulations.
22:39Who would have thought you two
22:40would be the first in our group to start a family?
22:43That's what I said!
22:47Hello.
22:48Hello.
22:49Listen,
22:50I've been thinking a lot about relationships
22:53and how difficult they can be,
22:55and I think...
22:56I've been thinking about them too, Sheldon.
22:59Being your girlfriend is so challenging.
23:03Emotionally, physically.
23:06I've been incredibly patient for years
23:10Strongly disagree. Go on.
23:14Okay, well...
23:17This isn't easy to say because I love you, but...
23:23I need some time to take a step back
23:26and re-evaluate our situation.
23:31Oh.
23:33I hope you understand.
23:35I hope you understand.
23:40Okay.
23:43Bye, Sheldon.
23:45Oh.
24:03Well, Gollum.
24:07You're an expert on rings.
24:10What do I do with this one?
24:15What do I do with this one?
24:27What are you doing here?
24:28I'm here to return your belongings.
24:30That's what people who've broken up do.
24:33And you didn't do your compulsive knocking ritual
24:35so I would open the door.
24:37On the contrary.
24:38You no longer get to enjoy my charming eccentricities.
24:42We're not friends with benefits.
24:46Just give me the box.
24:47Wait.
24:48Don't you want to go through it
24:49to make sure I haven't forgotten anything?
24:52Fine.
24:55My old scarf.
24:56You wore it the night we went ice skating, remember?
24:59You mean the night that I went ice skating
25:01and you stood at the rail
25:02googling the symptoms of hypothermia.
25:07We made one heck of a team, huh?
25:10Whose bra is this?
25:14It's not yours?
25:17Oh, my.
25:19How embarrassing for both of us.
25:23It's Penny's.
25:24Hey, you broke up with me.
25:26It is none of your business
25:27whose naked bosom I'm smooshing around like pizza dough.
25:31Goodbye.
25:32Amy.
25:33Amy.
25:34Amy.
25:38Tables work, too.
25:39Good to know.
25:40Amy, there was a song I couldn't get out of my head.
25:43Eventually, I realized the song was about you.
25:46And like that earworm,
25:48I can't get you out of my heart.
25:51So what I'm trying to say is
25:54you're my heartworm.
25:56You're my heartworm.
25:58You're my heartworm.
26:00What I'm trying to say is
26:02you're my heartworm.
26:06The metaphorical kind,
26:07not the poodle-killing kind.
26:10What?
26:12If I may,
26:14I believe what he's saying
26:16in a charming and delightful way
26:18is that he loves you and wants you back.
26:20Dave Gibbs, huge fan of your work.
26:22Don't mind me.
26:27I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were on a date.
26:29No, it's okay. Keep going.
26:32Amy, if you want to be my girlfriend again,
26:35I really want to be your boyfriend.
26:38I really want that, too.
26:40Good.
26:42Because I love you.
26:45I love you, too.
26:49Kiss her, you brilliant fool!
26:53Why are you shaking? Are you cold?
26:56I'm just, um, really nervous.
27:00Why?
27:02Well,
27:04I've been waiting for this for so long.
27:06I've just built it up in my head.
27:10I don't know what to expect.
27:13Neither do I.
27:16But we can do this.
27:20But we can find out together.
27:27Okay.
27:36Well, I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.
27:40Yeah.
27:47Me, too.
27:51I look forward to your next birthday when we do it again.
27:57That works for me.
27:58Why do you have a storage unit?
28:01Just wait.
28:03How long have you had it?
28:06Just wait.
28:07Just wait.
28:08Do you want me to hold that computer?
28:10Just wait. You know what? Actually, yes, thank you.
28:21Welcome to my fortress of shame.
28:30I'm sorry. What am I looking at?
28:33It's basically everything I've ever owned.
28:38Every book, every T-shirt,
28:41every piece of broken electronics, just...
28:44all of it.
28:49All of it?
28:52I have a Ziploc bag filled with all my old Ziploc bags.
29:03Okay.
29:05Well,
29:08I would like to tell you
29:10that
29:12there is nothing here
29:15to be ashamed of.
29:18So I'm gonna need a minute.
29:23Which side of the bed would you prefer?
29:25It doesn't matter to me. Your choice.
29:27No, no. We're living together now. Everything's equal.
29:30I know that I have a tendency to be controlling,
29:32so I would rather you choose.
29:34Well, Sheldon, I really appreciate that,
29:36but they just mean more to you than they do to me,
29:38so whatever you want.
29:39Well, clearly it's not whatever I want,
29:41because what I want is for you to make this decision,
29:43and you refuse to do that.
29:45Well, I'm not refusing. I'm just trying to be considerate.
29:48Like when you let me get those shoes
29:50with the wheels on the bottom
29:51and then watched me roll right into traffic?
29:53Sheldon, will you please just pick a side?
29:55Fine.
30:02Okay.
30:03Now, on this side,
30:04I am closer to the exit in case of emergency.
30:08Great. That's your side.
30:10No, but I'm also closer to the entrance in case of attack.
30:15Okay. I'll take that side.
30:17Ah, then again, what are the odds of someone attacking me?
30:19Rising rapidly.
30:23Now, this side offers me proximity to the bathroom,
30:27but I am closer to the window
30:29where perverts can watch me sleep.
30:32Okay. What if we do this?
30:38I suppose that works.
30:39Great.
30:45Although now I'm kind of worried
30:46someone's hiding behind those drapes.
30:49Amy, you should know,
30:51I was never really interested in seeing other women.
30:54And to prove how serious I am about us,
30:57I'm willing to take our relationship to the next level.
31:02Amy Farrah Fowler,
31:04will you share this toothbrush holder with me?
31:10I would love to.
31:17Did we really need to be here for this?
31:22Call me crazy, but I found it moving.
31:24I found it moving.
31:28Please stop trying to seduce me.
31:30Who's trying to seduce you?
31:32After a long day, I always turn on smooth jazz
31:35and spray deer musk on my inner thighs.
31:42Thought it smelled like a petting zoo in here.
31:46Anything you'd like to pet?
31:48No, no, no, not my hair.
31:49There's a lot of goop in it.
31:51Okay, I've had enough.
31:53Amy, come back.
31:55I don't know how to open the oysters.
32:00So, were you turned on even a little bit?
32:03It was like being hit on by Rat Pack Peewee Herman.
32:09I'm sorry, is that a yes?
32:11No!
32:14Amy, I didn't want it to come to this,
32:17but you have left me no choice
32:19but to employ the most passionate,
32:21seductive dance known to man.
32:26The flamenco.
32:44For God's sake, you're ridiculous.
32:50Well, you guys are aroused, right?
32:56That was a close one.
32:59I'm sorry you were embarrassed.
33:01And now I understand that some things
33:03are just between you and me.
33:05In the event of redness and swelling, Dr. Fink.
33:12What's that little dot in the middle?
33:14That's reserved for thoughts I don't share with anyone.
33:17Interesting.
33:18You really have secrets you don't tell me?
33:21Of course.
33:23Can I hear one?
33:24No, they're private.
33:27Why? Are they naughty?
33:32A little.
33:34Please!
33:37Fine.
33:39Two years ago,
33:42I got my driver's license.
33:44I got my driver's license.
33:48What?
33:51Why didn't you say anything?
33:54I like being chauffeured around.
33:56It makes me feel important.
34:00So when I got up at 4 a.m. to drive you
34:02across the desert to an antique train museum,
34:05I didn't have to?
34:06No, you didn't.
34:08And you keep in mind,
34:10I felt extremely important.
34:13Go to the bedroom,
34:14remove our clothes,
34:16fold them neatly,
34:19and engage in frenzied lovemaking.
34:25What if we don't fold our clothes at all?
34:28Or,
34:30what if we fold them?
34:35Well, here's your key back.
34:38As soon as I have the place set up,
34:39I'm gonna have you guys over.
34:40No, we would love that.
34:41I really can't thank you enough
34:42for taking me in.
34:43You know,
34:44I was at a pretty low place in my life.
34:46Oh, Amy, you naughty vixen.
34:54Anyway,
34:56as I was saying,
34:57I was at a pretty low place in my life,
34:59and if it wasn't for friends like you...
35:02My goodness, that form of stimulation
35:03is highly efficient.
35:06I can't compete with that.
35:07Bye.
35:11Should we give them their privacy?
35:12I want to,
35:13but I don't think I can.
35:16Whoopee!
35:17Okay, I'm good now.
35:19Princeton has a beautiful campus.
35:21Yeah, I've learned some fun facts
35:22about New Jersey
35:23to help you make small talk.
35:25Would you like to know
35:26the state bird or the murder rate?
35:30They're both shocking.
35:32Actually, I want to hear about you.
35:34How are things at home?
35:35Well,
35:36I'm a lot less likely
35:37to see an eastern goldfinch
35:38or be murdered,
35:39I'll tell you that.
35:42I miss you.
35:43I miss you, too.
35:44It's so strange.
35:45Earlier today,
35:46I ended a sentence
35:47with a preposition,
35:48and you weren't there
35:49to correct my grammar.
35:51I'm sorry
35:52you had to go through that.
35:55In fact,
35:56that's when I noticed
35:57you weren't there.
35:59In fact,
36:00that's when I started
36:01to really miss you.
36:04You know you just split
36:05an infinitive.
36:08Did I?
36:10Are you going to teach me
36:11a lesson?
36:14I am.
36:17It is naughty
36:18to put an adverb
36:19between the word
36:20to and the verb stem.
36:23What are you going
36:24to do about it?
36:26I'm going to admire
36:27I'm going to admonish you.
36:30Vigorously?
36:33That's the only kind
36:34of admonishing I do.
36:37Are you seeking
36:38a romantic relationship
36:39with me?
36:41What if I were?
36:43Well,
36:44that would raise
36:45a number of problems.
36:46We're colleagues.
36:47I'm currently
36:48in a relationship.
36:57Excuse me a moment.
37:27Laughter
37:33Laughter
37:35Laughter
37:36Laughter
37:37Laughter
37:38Laughter
37:39Laughter
37:40Laughter
37:41Laughter
37:42Laughter
37:43Laughter
37:44Laughter
37:45Laughter
37:46Laughter
37:47Laughter
37:48Laughter
37:49Laughter
37:50Laughter
37:51Laughter
37:52Laughter
37:53Laughter
37:54Laughter
37:55Laughter
37:57Knock
37:58Amy
37:59Knock
38:00Amy
38:01Knock
38:02Amy
38:03Laughter
38:04Laughter
38:07Door opens
38:08Door closes
38:09Laughter
38:10Applause
38:11Applause
38:12Applause
38:13Applause
38:14Applause
38:15Applause
38:16Applause
38:17Applause
38:18Applause
38:19Applause
38:20Will you marry me?
38:21Amy, you're up.
38:22Next decision.
38:24Come on,
38:25first dance.
38:26Come on,
38:27first dance.
38:29Ding
38:30Invitations.
38:31That's a good one.
38:32Just a suggestion.
38:33Hologram
38:34projected
38:35out of R2-D2.
38:38Thanks for your input,
38:39but this is my decision
38:40and I'm going to go with
38:43Old English calligraphy
38:44on Egyptian papyrus.
38:46What a fun mash-up.
38:48It's like the chicken
38:49and waffles of orthography.
38:51Laughter
38:53Your turn.
38:55Ring
38:58Ding
38:59Ring bearer.
39:00Boy, I'm so glad
39:01that R2-D2 is still available.
39:03Laughter
39:04You know,
39:05this is really fun.
39:06I can't believe that people
39:07say that planning a wedding
39:08is one of the most stressful
39:09things in life.
39:10I know.
39:11And not a day goes by
39:12that I don't marvel
39:13how much better we are
39:14than other people.
39:15Laughter
39:16Cooper Fowler,
39:17you're up.
39:20Can you believe it?
39:21We're about to walk
39:22in that door
39:23Dr. Cooper
39:24and Dr. Fowler
39:25and walk out
39:26as a married couple.
39:28Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler.
39:30Laughter
39:34Wait.
39:37I want to have a first dance
39:38with you.
39:40Right here?
39:41At our wedding.
39:44This is our wedding.
39:45No.
39:48I want a real wedding.
39:52Shelton,
39:53you're just making us fight.
39:54I know, but
39:56Amy,
39:57I never thought
39:58I'd want to marry anyone.
39:59So,
40:00the fact that
40:01I found you
40:02is astonishing.
40:04It's like finding
40:05dark matter.
40:07Except they're looking
40:08for dark matter.
40:09I wasn't even looking for you.
40:10Laughter
40:12So you're even better
40:13than dark matter.
40:14Laughter
40:15Sheldon.
40:16Plus,
40:17plus,
40:18you interact with light
40:19so I can see you.
40:20Laughter
40:21And also,
40:22you don't account
40:23for the missing mass
40:24in the universe.
40:25Oh, and there's the way
40:26Okay, I think you're getting
40:27caught up on the ways
40:28I'm not like dark matter.
40:29Laughter
40:30Right, sorry.
40:31But,
40:32when you make a discovery
40:33like this,
40:35you don't just take it down
40:36to City Hall.
40:37You tell the whole world.
40:38And so,
40:39I'll say it in
40:40Latin
40:41or Klingon
40:42or smoke signals
40:43if that's not
40:44cultural appropriation.
40:45It is.
40:46Okay, so not smoke signals.
40:47Laughter
40:50But I want to do this right.
40:53Laughter
40:54Me too.
40:57Let's go plan a wedding.
41:02Are you having
41:03an allergic reaction
41:04to my boutonniere?
41:05Laughter
41:06No.
41:07I'm just so happy for you.
41:09And for me,
41:10after today,
41:11you are officially
41:12and more important
41:13legally
41:14Amy's problem.
41:15Laughter
41:17Don't be silly, Leonard.
41:19I will always
41:20be your problem.
41:21Laughter
41:26Knocking
41:29Hey, baby.
41:31Hello, Mother.
41:32Leonard, could you
41:33give us a moment?
41:34Oh, of course.
41:37Oh,
41:38Shelly.
41:42I wish your dad
41:43could see you now.
41:44Me too.
41:46I miss him.
41:48He would be
41:49so proud of you.
41:50I know that I am.
41:55I mean, for everything.
41:57My whole life.
42:01Oh.
42:03Laughter
42:05Let me straighten your tie.
42:06No, no, no.
42:07It's all right.
42:08It's supposed to be
42:09a little asymmetrical.
42:11Apparently,
42:12a small flaw
42:13somehow improves it.
42:15I can see that.
42:17Sometimes,
42:18it's the
42:20imperfect stuff
42:22that makes things perfect.
42:28Excuse me.
42:34Case in point.
42:35Laughter
42:39Amy?
42:40Amy?
42:41Amy?
42:43Come in.
42:45There's something
42:46I need to tell you.
42:47Wow!
42:48You look amazing.
42:50That's not what
42:51I need to tell you,
42:52but you do.
42:53What's wrong?
42:54Something incredible
42:55just happened.
42:56Remember when you
42:57were telling me
42:58about my bow tie
42:59and how a little
43:00asymmetry is good?
43:01Yeah.
43:02My equations
43:03have been trying
43:04to describe
43:05an imperfect world,
43:06and the only way
43:07to do that
43:08is to introduce
43:09imperfection
43:10into the underlying theory.
43:11So,
43:12instead of
43:13supersymmetry,
43:14it would be
43:15superasymmetry?
43:16Superasymmetry.
43:17That's it!
43:19Give me your lipstick.
43:20What?
43:21Just give it to me,
43:22you beautiful thing.
43:23We have work to do.
43:26According to Google,
43:27there are zero papers
43:28that mention superasymmetry.
43:29This is brand new.
43:30No one's thought of it.
43:33What are you lunatics doing?
43:36Sheldon had a breakthrough.
43:37Well, actually,
43:38Amy and I
43:39had a breakthrough.
43:40Oh, science?
43:41Shocking!
43:43You don't understand.
43:44This could be really big.
43:45No, Penny's right.
43:48We have our whole lives
43:49to do science together.
43:53Let's get married.
43:55Alright.
43:56It's go time!
43:57I am pumped!
43:58Good morning, wife.
44:02Good morning, husband.
44:05I can't believe
44:06we're actually married.
44:07It's official.
44:08According to tradition,
44:09we should hang
44:10the bedsheets outside
44:11so the villagers can see
44:12that we consummated.
44:15I don't think that
44:16would be appropriate
44:17considering where we're
44:18starting our honeymoon.
44:19Oh, I suppose you're right.
44:24Although,
44:25when you think about it,
44:26Lego is the perfect metaphor
44:27for marital congress.
44:28Two pieces that interlock
44:29with a satisfying snap.
44:33Oh, that's the sound
44:34you were making.
44:37Oh, I almost forgot.
44:38While you were sleeping,
44:39I ordered room service.
44:41Really?
44:43Voila.
44:46You thought it was going
44:47to be food, didn't you?
44:49Hello.
44:50Hello.
44:51I brought you two hot dogs.
44:54Aren't you going to eat one?
44:55From a street cart?
44:56Are you crazy?
44:58I'm amazed that I'm holding them.
45:01I'm not really hungry.
45:03You realize that
45:04I'm not a particularly
45:05physical person.
45:08I know.
45:09When I was little
45:10and people asked me
45:11what I wanted to be
45:12when I grew up,
45:13I'd always say
45:14a brain in a jar.
45:17Sure.
45:18Yeah, but I want to be
45:19a good husband to you.
45:20And intimacy
45:21is a part of that.
45:24Please put those down.
45:27I'm just worried
45:28that if I don't schedule
45:29our bedroom endeavors,
45:30then I may not think
45:31about them.
45:32And you'll grow cold
45:33and distant
45:34and seek solace
45:35in the arms
45:36of a heavily muscled
45:37longshoreman.
45:39Where would I find
45:40a longshoreman?
45:42Along the shore.
45:43It's in the name.
45:47Sheldon,
45:48I could never be
45:49with anybody but you.
45:51That's good to know.
45:52I wouldn't want to fight
45:53a man who's brave enough
45:54to touch a fish.
45:59How's this for a compromise?
46:01Make all the schedules
46:02you want,
46:03just don't tell me
46:04about them.
46:06Excellent.
46:07I'll create an algorithm
46:08that'll generate
46:09a pseudo-random schedule.
46:11And do you know why
46:12it won't be a true
46:13random schedule?
46:14Because the generation
46:15of true random numbers
46:16remains an unsolved problem
46:17in computer science.
46:19Come with me.
46:20Where are we going?
46:21To the hotel room.
46:22And when we get there,
46:23I'm gonna need you
46:24to say that again,
46:25except naked.
46:35Spending time
46:36with Michael and Hallie today
46:37really made me think
46:38about our future children.
46:43Huh.
46:44What an interesting
46:45and completely unforeseen
46:46development.
46:49What are you thinking?
46:50Well, I just can't decide.
46:52Either five sets of triplets
46:54or three sets of quintuplets.
46:58You know what?
46:59It doesn't matter
47:00as long as they're healthy.
47:01And divisible by three.
47:04That's a lot of babies,
47:05Sheldon.
47:06Oh, only for humans.
47:07For frogs,
47:08it's just a drop
47:09in the bucket.
47:11Well,
47:12sorry I'm not a frog,
47:13Sorry I'm not a frog.
47:14Oh,
47:15don't feel bad, Amy.
47:16You're good enough for me.