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FunTranscript
00:00Do you guys mind if I start?
00:02Um, Penny.
00:04That's where I sit.
00:06Sit next to me.
00:10No, I sit there.
00:12What's the difference?
00:14What's the difference?
00:16Here we go.
00:18In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm,
00:20and yet not so close as to cause perspiration.
00:22In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze,
00:24created by opening windows there and there.
00:26It faces the television at an angle
00:28that is neither direct,
00:30thus discouraging conversation,
00:32nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.
00:34I could go on, but...
00:36I think I've made my point.
00:40Do you want me to move?
00:42Well...
00:44Just sit somewhere else.
00:46Fine.
00:58Sheldon, sit!
01:06Sheldon, sit!
01:08Ah.
01:10Penny, I wish I could be more lenient with you,
01:12but since you've become a permanent member of our social group,
01:14I have to hold you to the same standards as everybody else.
01:16Congratulations.
01:18You're officially one of us.
01:20One of us.
01:22One of us.
01:24Well, what a thrill.
01:26You're sitting in my spot?
01:28Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
01:30Leonard, she's in my spot.
01:32Yeah, yeah.
01:34I don't care. I'm taking a stand.
01:36All right, that's it. Strike three.
01:38Ooh, strike three.
01:40I'm banished?
01:42What the hell kind of crap is that?
01:44Don't worry, I'll talk to him.
01:46Yeah, you do that.
01:48Just so I know, would you be open to taking his class?
01:50Here you go. Fresh from the cleaners.
01:52Good as new.
01:54Look, good as new.
01:56From that key maker, I highly doubt it.
01:58Come on, Sheldon.
02:00Just give it a try.
02:02All right.
02:08There. Nice and comfy cozy.
02:10Zero, zero, zero.
02:12There's one more zero.
02:14You forgot the time parameter.
02:18Sit on the damn couch.
02:24What?
02:42Nope.
02:46What do you mean, nope?
02:48What's wrong with it?
02:50Nothing. It's what's wrong with him.
02:52Exactly the same.
02:54Penny, I think I know what to do.
02:56Sheldon, I have some bad news.
02:58More?
03:00I'm afraid so.
03:02You know the cashew chicken I get you on Monday nights?
03:04Yes, from Szechuan Palace.
03:08Szechuan Palace closed two years ago.
03:12What?
03:14Where did my cashew chicken come from?
03:16Golden Dragon.
03:22No.
03:28Oh, this isn't right.
03:30Our food always comes in Szechuan Palace containers.
03:34Yeah, well, before they went out of business,
03:36I bought 4,000 containers.
03:40I keep them in the trunk of my car.
03:44But...
03:46Oh, this changes everything.
03:48I thought that might take his mind off the cushion.
03:52What's real? What isn't?
03:54How can I know?
03:56You did make that up, right?
03:58I wish I had.
04:02Leonard?
04:04Yeah, buddy?
04:06I still don't like this cushion.
04:08Hello, old friend.
04:12Okay.
04:18Daddy's home.
04:22Want to get a little crazy?
04:24What are you thinking?
04:26Let's slide over to Sheldon's spot and make out.
04:32You are a dirty girl.
04:36Oh, God, how did he know?
04:40Hello?
04:42Hi, Howard.
04:44Am I interrupting?
04:46Yeah.
04:48Guess I should have called.
04:50Yeah, maybe.
04:58Tonight's the night I usually go
05:00line dancing with Raj at the Palomino.
05:04Uh-huh.
05:06But he's working with Sheldon.
05:08Yes, we know.
05:10Want me to leave?
05:12You know, whatever.
05:14Guess I can hang for a little while.
05:16No!
05:18What?
05:20Oh, yeah, you can't sit there.
05:22Why not?
05:24That's where Sheldon sits.
05:26He can't sit somewhere else?
05:28Oh, no, no.
05:30You see, in the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator
05:32so that he's warm, yet not so close that he sweats.
05:34In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross breeze,
05:36created by opening windows there and there.
05:38It faces the television at an angle that isn't direct
05:40so we can still talk to everybody,
05:42yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted.
05:48Perhaps there's hope for you after all.
05:52I would point out
05:54that I am at the top of my profession
05:56while you preside over the kiddie table of yours.
06:00Dr. Cooper,
06:02before I find you in contempt and throw you in jail,
06:04I'm gonna give you a chance to apologize
06:06for that last remark.
06:08I'm a scientist.
06:10I never apologize for the truth.
06:18That's my spot.
06:24Nevertheless, I've hurt you,
06:26and whether you forgive me or not,
06:28I want you to have this.
06:32You're giving me a couch cushion?
06:34No, the cushion is merely symbolic.
06:36I'm giving you my spot on the couch.
06:40But you love that spot.
06:42No, I love my mother.
06:44My feelings for my spot
06:46are much greater.
06:50It is the singular location in space
06:52around which revolves my entire universe.
06:56And now it's yours.
06:58Oh, my God, dude,
07:00now you have to forgive him.
07:04All right, apology accepted.
07:06High five.
07:08Not too hard.
07:14I haven't cried like this since Toy Story 3.
07:22I gotta tell you, Sheldon,
07:24I understand why you chose this spot.
07:26I mean, the temperature's good,
07:28but there's no draft.
07:30I can see the television, but I can still talk there.
07:32I changed my mind. Get out of my spot.
07:35How long?
07:3794 seconds.
07:47That's a pretty big blue jay.
08:05One.
08:07Two.
08:09Three.
08:11Go!
08:13Burden the apartment!
08:15Burden the apartment!
08:17No!
08:21Hi, Sheldon.
08:27He's in my spot.
08:29Leonard, make him stop being naked in my spot.
08:35Howard, what are you doing?
08:37He wasn't using it.
08:41And I needed a nice, cool piece of leather
08:43to wiggle my naked ass on.
08:47Get off there.
08:49Give me back my Iron Man helmet.
08:51Give me back my parking space.
08:53You don't need a parking space.
08:55You don't have a car.
08:57You don't need an Iron Man helmet.
08:59You're not Iron Man.
09:01Well, we appear to have reached an impasse.
09:03You'd be more upset that your laptop
09:05is sitting on my junk.
09:09I didn't pick up on that.
09:11That's a nice touch.
09:15This cushion experienced
09:17a nude revenge wiggle.
09:21What?
09:23A naked man sat on it.
09:25Now, here's my concern.
09:27His diet is rich
09:29in fatty deli meats.
09:31What test do you have
09:33to detect lipid residue?
09:35Lipid what?
09:39Lipid residue.
09:41An anal autograph.
09:43A colon calling card,
09:45if you will.
09:49Tuesday okay?
09:51All right.
09:53Now, don't rush it.
09:55We may be dealing with befoulment on a molecular level.
09:57Let me write you a ticket.
09:59Wait!
10:01It's not all pants. There's one shirt.
10:03Oh. Hey, that's my shirt.
10:05This one is, too.
10:07No, that's not mine. It has a big spot on it.
10:09Wait, so does this one.
10:11Maybe the spot's the clue.
10:17Sheldon's spot. The coin's in your spot!
10:21Oh, that's clever.
10:23Hurry!
10:25Be there in a minute. I just have to pre-soak these.
10:29Ah!
10:33Stop her, Leonard!
10:35Stop her!
10:43Where the hell's the coin?
10:45Wasn't the answer Sheldon's spot?
10:47Oh, yes, Leonard.
10:49Yes, it was.
10:51Where's the coin?
10:53Yes, exactly.
10:55Where is the coin?
10:57Why don't you look in your pockets?
11:03I slipped them in there earlier today.
11:07I don't get it.
11:09Don't you see?
11:11When we're all having fun together,
11:13we're already winners.
11:15Oh, look. See?
11:17Even I'm a winner.
11:21Are you kidding me?
11:23Are you kidding me?
11:25That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
11:29You suck.
11:31So hot.
11:33Your crazy future Sheldon.
11:37This is a thermostat.
11:39It controls the temperature of the apartment.
11:43The ideal setting is 72 degrees.
11:45If you find this too cold,
11:47then put on a jacket.
11:49A straight jacket, because 72's the best,
11:51and you're crazy.
11:53Now,
11:55this is your spot.
11:57You're very protective of it.
11:59When anyone else tries to sit here,
12:01you berate them relentlessly.
12:03It sounds mean,
12:05but somehow you make it adorable.
12:09People are also delighted by your love of pranks.
12:13For example,
12:15Leonard has no idea what I did to his coffee.
12:18It wasn't replaced with Folgers crystals,
12:20I'll tell you that much.
12:23Hey, can we please get back to work?
12:25This is Leonard.
12:27He's your best friend in the world.
12:29Just stop. This is ridiculous.
12:33Sometimes he gets cranky,
12:35but you can trust him with your life,
12:37and he does more things for you
12:39than I can even begin to list.
12:44Oh no, he's drinking it.
12:48What if Sheldon had no choice
12:50but to be respectful?
12:52Is there a switch on the back of his neck
12:54we don't know about?
12:57No, what I'm saying is you could add a clause
12:59to the contract that he can't make fun of Howard.
13:01How would you enforce it?
13:03Oh please, any contract I sign
13:05is enforced by my own personal code of ethics.
13:07And his obsessive compulsive disorder.
13:09Yeah, that too.
13:11And scoot over,
13:13part of your shadow's on my spot.
13:18And Leonard, I was kind of hoping I could sit next to Anu.
13:20So now I have to sit on the floor?
13:22It's my house. Why can't Sheldon sit on the floor?
13:24That might be the dumbest thing you've ever said.
13:28Guys, guys, there's a simple solution.
13:31I am not breaking up with her.
13:35All right, let's keep thinking.
13:39Hey everybody, it's Anu.
13:41Hey!
13:47Hey!
13:49Hey!