Baylen Out Loud S01 E01
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00:00Why do I cuss?
00:03You're done
00:06My name is Bailyn. I'm 21 years old and I have Tourette syndrome in a little baby weenie
00:13Waning vagina Tourette syndrome causes me to have involuntary motor and vocal tics
00:22Your mom's built like a falafel what's going on with her she's real my mom has crabs
00:30She doesn't I'd describe our family as
00:33large
00:35chaotic I
00:36Have four crazy and loud brothers
00:40My mom is hemorrhoids
00:47I have one younger sister Sammy having a sister with Tourette's is very crazy
00:53You don't know if you're gonna get slapped in the face or get a hug
01:00She has gonorrhea from Colin
01:03Okay, I have the world's best boyfriend Colin. He's my medicine
01:09My parents are very traditional. I'm pregnant
01:14I'm not
01:19My number one goal is to move out of my parents house. This isn't good for you
01:24Bailey wants her independence, but it's an emotional dance. I think we should have a talk
01:29I am in the United States Air Force, and I have a relocation coming up. I could end up anywhere
01:44Does he want to drag her with him wherever he goes plane rides are already hard enough. I have a gun
01:50I have a gun
01:52They're gonna send us to a back room I
01:55Just wanted to say a few things if that's all right. Hey one has no idea that I'm here right now
02:00It's hard to pull back the emotions
02:03Nothing better happen to my kid. I'm entitled to my feelings, too
02:09That's a lot so I'm concerned that she's gonna overdo herself
02:20I
02:22I
02:44Top that wiener tether just retaken am seen fuck off
02:48My name is Balin, I'm 21 years old and I have Tourette's syndrome in a little baby weenie
02:56Spotted a little safari in itchy baby weenie
03:04Sorry, I'm excited fuck off fuck off fuck off
03:10Tourette's syndrome is a neurological involuntary motor and vocal disorder that is chronic
03:15Chronic dick
03:18Slap that wiener wrap that wiener tap that wiener
03:21Tourette's syndrome causes me to have tics and tics are sudden
03:27twitches sounds or movements that I do repetitively
03:31stupid
03:34When I get the urge to tick it feels like my skin is crawling and it's very very itchy
03:41My tics can come from anything anything I see hear smell think about
03:55Because I'm thinking about that I'm trying not to look at him
04:04Him because I'm thinking about him
04:07Him
04:11Because every time I see a bald person I have to tell them that they're bald so you're bald
04:16The most random things can become a tic or tics
04:21Tourette's syndrome stupid
04:26Hey, listen, I can work with I can work in a restaurant and sausage don't morning. Where's my laughing? Oh, don't me
04:33I'm 21. I still live at home
04:37not ideal
04:38but
04:39My parents are my heroes. They would do
04:42Anything not only for me but for all of my siblings. There's not enough botulin toxin for all my wrinkles
04:53We've been married 23 years, oh, yeah, and then six kids later it's like
04:59My dad, I know like
05:01My dad like this is great. We are in west virginia. Just winging it
05:05What are you making
05:08The scrambled eggs
05:09I work for the federal government
05:11And i'm kind of living the dream I guess as a full-time stay-at-home mom
05:16I'd describe our family. This is a
05:20large chaotic
05:28Sammy's our youngest girl. She's
05:30Kind of our wild kid as far as like most daring she's moved out first, but she comes home quite often
05:38Having a sister with Tourette's is very crazy
05:42Um, you don't know if you're gonna get slapped in the face or get a hug. You don't know
05:48Burke's our oldest he's 23 and he's the leader Burke's graduated college
05:53He's moved back home with us and now he's on his job hunting adventure
05:57Vic
05:59You gotta wake up. You gotta get dressed bud
06:02vixxa
06:03vixxa
06:04Character, he wants to hunt fish build a cabin, but he's a loner
06:10Svenny is I would consider julie's favorite. No
06:13No, no, no, but spen is really really really into sports and his friends now
06:22Backner has no idea that he's about to turn 10 years old and we are not on the same level. Yes
06:29I'm building
06:31Let's go
06:32Are you actually gonna make pancakes? She can flip this one here in a minute flip that wiener
06:36I just don't want that wiener flapping around that wiener tap that wiener. I literally hate the kitchen. I feel like i'm on high alert
06:44Baylen's journey with Tourette's has changed all of our lives in a way where it brought us all together for more of a common cause
06:51Baylen was the child that everyone dreams of loves to be the center of attention. She was so whimsical
06:57Free-spirited just easy going when baylen was around seven
07:01We both noticed some movements and some sounds that could be considered ticks
07:07Hello
07:08Hello motor tics involved neck moving. I don't want to get too close. I don't want to get too close
07:15I don't want to get too close
07:17Motor tics involved neck moving. I don't want to get too into it. It's gonna set my tics off but it involved my neck
07:27We didn't take any of those beginning tics those signs seriously when baylen was at her worst it was like something you've never even seen
07:40People would just get like annoyed
07:43Hey, i'm driving
07:46I did see a variety of different doctors. A lot of them made me feel like I was less of a human being
07:52She can't drive
07:54She shouldn't go out in public. She can't do anything
07:58Finally before baylen's 18th birthday
08:01We landed at the mayo clinic where we were able to get an official diagnosis that baylen does have tourette syndrome
08:08Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off
08:15Hello
08:19Hello
08:20I also have obsessive compulsive disorder, which means I have
08:27Obsessions or thoughts that turn into compulsions or fuck off fuck off fuck off gestures
08:35Ladies and gentlemen how we clean the fridge
08:38My ocd is worse than my tourette's for example
08:43I get the urge to tic the first time but I get the thought to tic the two other times I do everything in threes
08:50everything
08:52What are you
08:54Let's I gotta do it two more times. Oh my gosh
08:58There is no cure for tourette syndrome. There is only ways to lessen your symptoms
09:06Fat ass butter your own biscuit fat ass
09:08If
09:11There's medications you can take and the medicine it did great for my tics, but I felt terrible my mental health was terrible
09:18My well-being was terrible. I think I gained like 35 pounds in a month
09:22I want to feel like a real person and I don't want to feel like a zombie the things that have helped me the most
09:28Is seabit therapy where you try to rewire your brain and lessen tics
09:39I'm gonna do the toast if bailyn's gonna bear you eating
09:46Wanted to say good morning to everyone my number one goal
09:50Is to move out of my parents house
09:53vagina
09:54It's important for me not to limit myself and do the same things that
10:01Everyone else is doing I will need to prove to my parents that I can get around by myself
10:08I need to
10:11Prove to them that I can manage and get help with my tics and also be able to suck a pencil
10:20Navigate the kitchen
10:22Do I have to bring this all?
10:23Yep. Yep. Start right there
10:25Do you know that you can crack the glass on the top of the stove? There you go. Just flip it
10:30There you go. Yeah, stupid fuck. Okay
10:33Yep
10:35The kitchen is the danger zone for bailyn
10:37I don't need anybody else scalded or burnt poked with a knife three times or had sharp instruments thrown. We're gonna we're gonna blame
10:46Yeah
10:47Roast the marshmallows tippy tippy top that we're gonna blame the butter
10:51Bailin wants her independence and we definitely want to help her get there, but it's an emotional dance
10:56Happy birthday
11:00For real mackey boo, how are you feeling about your birthday?
11:03All right
11:04Where are we going? Honestly, i'm not gonna lie zero plans. I feel like it should be whatever I want to do
11:12Over the last couple years being out in public for family events dinners has kind of been a struggle
11:19Oh my gosh
11:24We
11:25Have our birthdays and as many events as we can here at the home to kind of mitigate bailyn's issues out in public
11:31We can just go grab groceries make something big here you like to do
11:39I don't even know in the last couple years. It's just been easier to celebrate things at home. It's my birthday
11:46Bailyn your tootsies upstairs
11:48Hey, motherfuckers
11:51Afternoon dick. Yeah afternoon. Will you cook me up with some uh, orange juice or something though? Holy fuck
11:57Can you just back up? Just let me do it two more times
12:00Just back up
12:03You're actually getting mad. Yeah, she can't control it. Yeah, but she can control her distance from the countertop. This is true
12:10Having a sister with Tourette's like it's normal. You always get
12:15Okay, why are you looking away?
12:18It's like normal you're like normal too. You're used to it now dingle dickles
12:24So yeah
12:26Dingle tickles
12:29Yeah
12:30Hey guys morning
12:33So my birthday's coming up guys
12:35so
12:36I really want some crab
12:38We can do crab
12:40with extra butter
12:42Extra butter maybe like two bags. I'm on board with extra butter
12:46You're fucking bald
12:48Oh
13:11It's really important for me to get the experience of
13:15Going to the grocery store because i'm gonna have to end up doing it when I live by myself
13:19Uh backner we're having chips and dip
13:22That's a huge thing that they're worried about
13:24That I need to prove to them that I can do grocery store dick take one
13:31Sir yes, sir drop and fuck off
13:33At the beginning there was zero laughter
13:35We kind of grew into using a little humor laughed a little with her made her feel more comfortable
13:40We have to laugh with her it's a whole vibe, I mean the laughter keeps us sane
13:47Okay, so i'm not trying to baby you here but let's have a game plan
13:51Just so we can make it less painful for you
13:55some things that have happened going grocery shopping
13:59Went down aisles and like slapped all the cereal boxes on the floor on the produce section
14:04I literally have to touch everything
14:06It's really hard because i'm such a textured person
14:09Like I don't know if that makes sense, but I have to touch everything. No one normally goes into a store screaming and
14:16raining vaginas
14:18raining vaginas
14:20raining vaginas
14:22Doing that
14:24Fuck off
14:25Fuck off fuck off
14:27Like I don't know
14:29It's just chaotic. It's a very bad environment things have been said to me. I've been videoed. I've been followed around the store
14:35The best thing that I can do in the moment is to act like no one's there
14:44Here goes nothing
14:54That hurt really bad the way everything is going down in the grocery store is overwhelming stupid fuck okay cream dick
15:05Fat bitch i'm getting ready to go on a date with collin. Hey, man
15:09He is
15:10my boyfriend
15:12as far as
15:14future goes
15:15What do you see?
15:16I'd like to have kids before i'm 25
15:19Yeah
15:21But you'd like to have kids in the next four years
15:25Yeah
15:34You're feeling low and so down like you're dust in the ground
15:44All right, so
15:46Do they have turkey bacon? Okay. Well, hold on. Wait, wait
15:49going grocery shopping is something that I try to totally avoid, but I need to be able to
15:59Navigate
16:01Around the grocery store with my tics in order to prove that I can live on my own
16:07Okay, let's get some kind of a run cinnamon roll for dad figure it out
16:11We should get that and like swirl it around in oil. Okay
16:15Pick one pick one out pick one out i'm gonna get
16:18a little baby
16:20Where did the chick
16:27Like we're in a nice place and then there had to be the 12 year old that spray painted a penis on the boat
16:33like
16:34like
16:36Okay
16:37Little baby wiener came from you just seeing a spray painted penis
16:41Oh
16:44How are you gonna
16:45You're not gonna do this when you're out on your own bailing going through the all the glass section and the condiments
16:52What i'm gonna do is i'm gonna avoid that until I find some way to
16:57Revert my urge somewhere else. I don't know. I love you, but I have a lot of concerns
17:02You're gonna have to learn these things
17:04These are like the skills that I feel like you've got to equip yourself with because we're not going to feel comfortable
17:10Knowing we're putting you in a place danger you of danger
17:15This is like a test, right?
17:17It's all a test cream dick. It's all a test
17:22People have said that i'm faking Tourette's for attention. Why would I do that?
17:30Would you want to live like this
17:33We need eggs. See if there's a half a dozen because I think we're a new three
17:37What about that one?
17:39It's fine, whatever you want to get no, but why does that one say ungrated eggs, what does that mean?
17:44I'm, not sure. Can you just get just get the eggs?
17:47I love you. Just get the eggs
17:52Okay, they're good they look great they look amazing they look fantastic stupid fuck, okay, okay
18:00Burke wanted some heavy whipping cream. We need um heavy whipping cream. Cajun crab cake. I mean
18:06Okay
18:08I love doing anything with my kids and other parts of it. I'm like, i'm i'm i'm on edge
18:14This isn't good for you because then you're oh
18:18Fuck that hurt really bad stuff that looks squishy. I'm going to smash that's a trigger
18:26Where did I get it
18:28It's okay. Yeah, I just
18:30Felt like I just broke my fucking finger on this thing. Are you okay? Yeah, it just hurts really bad
18:35Let me see
18:37Is it your nail? No, it just smashed
18:41Okay
18:42The way everything went down in the grocery store was just like overwhelming
18:47Always a fun journey like dude
18:50Yep
18:57I'm so sorry, honey. Are you okay? It's fine. Like it was I didn't like
19:02It's a mix like it feels a lot better now, but
19:06Like I cried because i'm like stressed out, but i'm also like like it hurt
19:10But at the same time i'm like I want to get out of here
19:12Like I just had enough so to some people it might feel like that was just a little moment of bailyn hurting herself
19:19but
19:20I'm digging deep in myself in that moment and thinking
19:23What the heck would I ever do if something bigger?
19:26Happened and I can't be there for her
19:29That I don't know
19:31I'm, just conflicted because those are the times where I feel most vulnerable where I just want to like protect you
19:37You know, like I just want to be the one
19:43I know
19:49I want to be the one
19:51Walking with you and helping with everything
19:54I don't know. I mean you're getting injured. Okay
19:57Getting injured in a grocery store, it'll be okay. It'll be okay
20:06I'm sorry. I don't mean to be all sappy and it's okay. I just cried in the grocery store
20:13I know
20:15I know
20:16Yeah, i'm excited to be home. I don't want to go out no more. I don't want to go out today
20:21It's okay
20:22We don't have to we got it done. We did it. You're done
20:26You're done
20:40Here we go
20:43Ooh fat ass, but of your own biscuit fat ass, but I don't do it
20:48I'm getting ready to go on a date with Colin
20:50He is my boyfriend. He's 23
20:54He's in the military. Love that man
20:58I love getting dressed up for dates doing my makeup and feeling pretty just like every other girl my age
21:05A lot of people actually didn't want to date me because of my turrets people would like make jokes about my condition
21:12Said excuse me
21:13Excuse me. Do you think you're mr? Perfect?
21:18Fat bitch
21:24Hey
21:27Hey guys, how are y'all y'all playing a game? Yeah, are you joining? I might
21:31How are you? Good. How are you? How's your drive? Not bad a little bit of traffic. Not too bad
21:36Colin met balan in this struggle. He truly has like a special heart and compassion for her
21:43Where are you guys going balan and I we're gonna go bowling
21:47the last time we went bowling
21:49like
21:50She she could throw an eight-pound bowling ball, you know, like you got to watch yourself
21:56Hi baby, you look so good dogs. You do look good. Hey, babe
22:01You ready to go bowling? Yeah, i'm so excited
22:05How long are you guys gonna be?
22:07A couple hours, right? Yeah a couple hours. You feel okay? Yeah, i'm fine. Give me a hug. Yes
22:13We don't worry. No, she's with him. Nope. I think that he truly cares about her safety
22:19And I trust him we'll be here
22:28Can you believe we've been dating for over a year
22:31It's pretty crazy. Fuck your north face fat ass. It's been a good year
22:36We met off of a dating app love at first swipe. Did I like you first? I think yeah. Yeah
22:43Pilgrim dick. Yeah, fuck you too
22:49So she did say that she has Tourette's on her profile syndrome, I didn't actually know like if she was telling the truth or not
22:58Um, because like about that. Well people people make jokes all the time on dating apps. I have Tourette's stupid
23:06In the beginning it was a little
23:08a little weird
23:09Going out and having people stare at me
23:12But baylen has the biggest heart and I love her for her
23:16I love her
23:18Colin is my medicine
23:20That's the best way i'm going to describe it
23:22he means a lot to me and
23:24um, there's not many people that can help me and
23:28Calm me and relax me as he can to be top that weiner tap the rotisserie chicken
23:33To be top that weiner tap the rotisserie chicken to be top that weiner tap the rotisserie chicken
23:39Do you ever tick oh gosh, I know where this is going
23:43Okay
23:50Do you want me to do you by all means throw it out what it's guys like a demonstration
23:58I don't care. What are you gonna say? I was gonna ask if you wanted me to answer it. Yeah, it's all you i'm gonna
24:07No, she does not guys dad close your ears
24:10She does not
24:12Tick when we are intimate and in that type of environment. She's environment
24:18moment, she's just very
24:20calm and relaxed and so
24:23She's not stressed out or anything like that
24:28Please don't let me
24:42It's not bad, this is cool. What do you think?
24:44Could be worse
24:45Yeah, it's not bad as I walk into the bowling alley with colin
24:49The first thing I do is scout how many people are in there. I never know how my tics will be
24:55Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Oh, yeah, you're fucking bald
25:00Usually my tics weren't the easiest thing to navigate while bowling
25:06How you feeling my toes are locked
25:09Your toes are locked. My toes are locked
25:11When I put my bowling shoes on I experience a dystonic tic in my toes
25:16It's not moving. My dystonic tics come out when i'm most stressed
25:21It's like paralysis like it is locked. Oh my god, they're cramping
25:25Dystonic tics are a type of motor tic that involve sustained muscle contractions
25:32That can last for long periods of time. I'm gonna cry
25:36It's hard to watch because I know that it hurts her
25:39There's nothing that she can do about it and there's nothing that I can do
25:43Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off
25:48I think we both have a lot going on in our lives right now my work
25:54And how I can be relocated kind of it makes it kind of tough
25:58I am in the united states air force and I have a relocation coming up here in a couple months
26:04I could end up anywhere
26:09You
26:25Yeah, well your fingers are dead
26:28I've been living out of state now for a little over a year and a half
26:32And I do try to come home as often as possible to see my mom and bailyn
26:36but four brothers
26:38A lot of little dick energy in this house
26:42Is bae up here? No colin took bae bowling. I hope nobody's in the lane next to her
26:49Have you ever been with her when she's been bowling? Yeah, at least colin will be a little bit more of a help
26:54Does she use those little push things?
26:56The she used to no she uses a guard. She doesn't use a like little dinosaur that you push down
27:02that's why I said I hope nobody's next to her because
27:05She just gets more attention with their tics
27:07During the the prime of bae's tics. I think she required the most
27:11attention easy
27:13I think it put a little bit of a strain honestly on our relationships with like mom and dad though the doctor's appointments
27:18Although I can't go there because I don't want your sister to be left at home alone
27:23or I don't want you know what I mean like stuff I think it
27:26definitely
27:28Had a little bit of a strain on all of us with mom and dad
27:31I guess I felt left out a little bit like she would go on. Uh,
27:35Doctor's appointments with bae. Yeah, like we even have to give up going out for birthdays because of balan's condition
27:42I absolutely love balan with all my heart, but it's difficult because on one hand
27:47We do take the back seat sometimes when her tics are really bad
27:51But on the other hand we love her and would do anything for her and support her
27:56Do you know what would be actually really fun for my birthday?
27:59We should go to harper's fairy. Wouldn't that be fun?
28:02Yeah, yeah, they got what ping pong they have ping pong I think they have pool
28:08What are you guys all doing?
28:09Talking about talking about what we want to do for beckton's birthday. We're having dinner here, right?
28:14No, he wants to go to harper's fairy. Yeah, julie
28:17Yeah
28:19Hang on what?
28:20They want to go to harper's fairy. We got to figure out with balan too harper's fairy. Wait, we're going to harper's fairy for what?
28:27For for becks. We're doing
28:30He wants to do something on his birthday sometimes he struggles there so
28:34So the last time balan was at harper's fairy
28:37She didn't have a positive experience because some people were making fun of her made her feel uncomfortable
28:43Made her upset and it's difficult to get balan to go back to the same place
28:47After she's kind of had a bad experience or she thinks in her mind that's going to be the same every time
28:54We'll talk to balan and see how she's feeling or what she wants to do, but take both vehicles. Yeah
28:59And so she is having
29:02A bad go one of us can leave with her. I don't care if you're the parent of the year
29:07There's just no possible way to give equal attention to six kids
29:11We owe it to the kids
29:13To give them a good experience and this is a test for balan. Can she look beyond what's happened in the past?
29:20She's come far enough and she's she's getting further where we can at least attempt things
29:26We're getting her out of her comfort. So
29:30I
29:36Fuck off fuck off fuck off
29:39I don't unlock just give us some time dystonic ticks are the twisting and pulling
29:46Of a slow release I have had dystonic ticks that have lasted me 45 minutes
29:53It's probably the worst tip that I have
29:56Wait, this one's coming in back
29:59You want me to tie or you got it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Fat ass bitch. All right, you're up
30:08Line it up
30:12Fuck you. Sorry. Sorry
30:15I'm bowling and the woman next to me tells me to fuck off. Don't mess up. Oh
30:21I've never had a stranger in public. Tell me to fuck off
30:24Oh
30:25My reaction was kind of wild I was just like did that really happen right now?
30:30Did I psych you out this like
30:32Just kidding
30:34People are looking at us like they've seen a ghost
30:37Something that i've kind of like struggled with is knowing when to step in and and say something when we're out in public
30:44Balan is not a confrontational person. You talk that when you're tapped or just recheck it. She won't say anything
30:51So
30:52We've been dating for over a little over a year now as far as
30:56future goes
30:58What do you see?
30:59I'd like to have kids before i'm 25. Yeah
31:04But you'd like to have kids in the next four years
31:07Yeah
31:10When did you want kids when you were 45
31:12No
31:14I don't know four years seems I want to live. I want to live in a house soon
31:19Homeboy wants to wait till he's like 45 to have kids like that's not gonna work for me. No, it's like 45
31:24I'm, sorry. How old are you gonna be in four years breaking 30? I'll be 27. That's that's that's rounded up to 30
31:32That's girl math 25 and lower
31:35Basically 20 25 26 and higher you're 30
31:41I don't know. I think we both have a lot going on in our lives right now
31:45Your work's too complicated with all of that
31:48so
31:50It's fucking bitch. I am in the united states air force and I have a relocation coming up here in a couple months
31:57my work
31:59And how I can be relocated kind of it makes it kind of tough
32:03I could end up anywhere in the country or overseas
32:07This will have a big impact for baylon and i's relationship
32:11Obviously, I want to be with you forever, obviously, but um
32:19There's so many unknowns about our future and what's gonna happen
32:24I would love to have a family with colin, but
32:28um
32:30I don't want him to leave
32:32I
32:36It's so sad, I wish that he wasn't in the military sometimes but like that's his job
32:46I love him
32:49He's so good to me and to my dogs truly it's like
33:03You're done
33:07I'm definitely the loudest person in here, but it's okay. It's all right. This is exactly what I was afraid of
33:19I'm anxious like I don't I don't want to know but I want to know
33:32So
33:38Another snow day for back there
33:49Wait, I don't want the dogs out today. I have a secret session with my therapist dana to work on managing my tics
34:02My name is dana wachter and i'm a registered nurse certified in cbit therapy cbit is an acronym for comprehensive behavioral intervention for tics
34:11So I help those with tourette syndrome and tic disorders learn strategies to manage their tics
34:23Dana first came into our life when it was such a dark spot for baylon
34:28And it was a dark spot for us you watch your kid suffer feeling lost like in the dark helpless
34:34Even after you get the diagnosis, then you come back here and you're like, all right now, what do we do?
34:40So there's lots of medications and therapies to explore and you just start at the beginning and see what works
34:51In my opinion baylon has one of the more severe cases of tourette syndrome. Hey
34:55motherfuckers
34:57That's that's the one thing that i'm so embarrassed about is my corporealia like i'm embarrassed by it
35:03To have tics where which we call coprolalia where you have the urges to say obscene things
35:09That's only seen in 10 of the cases. We'll work on the coprolalia today. Okay. Okay. That's a good one
35:15All right
35:20C-bit therapy is not a cure. It's just a way for individuals to manage their tics more effectively
35:28Your goal here is to decrease your tic severity you want to live on your own there's some concern there
35:34so what I want to do is
35:36Number one first to see if you're aware when you're about to say an obscene word
35:42So while we continue speaking if you feel the urge to say something obscene just place your finger
35:48Up, so I know that you're and not say it. No say it but just go ahead dick
35:54Okay, so you felt the urge come on
35:57Okay, great. Now every time you say an obscenity dick, okay
36:02Tell me what the urge feels like
36:04It feels like my skin is crawling
36:06Okay, as we continue speaking whenever you have the urge to say an obscenity put your finger up and if you
36:12Just breathe through the urge
36:14That sensation will go away. It's just hard to like get there
36:19So now when you have that urge to say an obscene word
36:24Instead of saying it what I want you to do line it up is breathe in through your mouth
36:29It's reverse breathing breathe breathe in through your mouth and out through your nose
36:34You're going to take a breath in for four
36:37Inhale two three four breathe out through your nose for six
36:42exhale two three
36:44four five six
36:47And you're going to do that about seven times, which is a minute
36:51Now if the urge is gone put your finger up
36:54Okay, so now that four
36:56It was gone at four good. Excellent. So it took four breaths for that urge to go away
37:01If you still feel the urge keep breathing until the sensation goes away
37:07You're now retraining your brain to say I don't have to tip
37:10That is a practice whenever you feel a vocal tick coming on you can stop and do your breathing
37:15Okay
37:16so my hopes for bailyn is to
37:19Get her tick severity down to a point where she can comfortably live on her own where they are
37:25mild
37:26to possibly
37:28Noted which might be very challenging because at her age
37:33And her severity that might not be the case, but I definitely am hopeful that we can get an improvement where she can live on
37:39our own
37:40I want to have a family one day. I want to drive
37:44I I mean
37:45I don't know if i'm ready to use a stove yet personally
37:48Um, hopefully we can get you there. Yes, I would love to and I'd love to be able to use the oven. Yeah
37:55Yeah, so, um
37:57I think that would be the next step the oven
37:59No
38:01Well, definitely make that a goal. I'm like, there's an oven right in there
38:05Getting you to the point where you can use that oven where you can live on your own
38:09Like any other therapy it takes a lot of work. I'm working. I'm not swearing but it's gonna take some time
38:16penis
38:19Tonight there's something brand new
38:24Where's baxter
38:25It's his birthday. All right, come on
38:28My family changed plans for beckner's birthday and now we're going to harper's fairy going there prior people
38:35Haven't been the nicest to me because my tics
38:38so
38:40i'm a little
38:42Anxious vagina
38:49So
38:53I'm nervous, but I want to celebrate beckner. I'm just hoping that i'm able to get through the whole thing
39:02You're done you're done
39:14I'm definitely the loudest person in here, but it's okay
39:19What's up, who are we staring down already you're not staring people down just look no you're not
39:25No, you're not protective sister is brewing
39:30People are already looking
39:32and
39:33This is exactly what I was afraid of tip it to the top that weiner tap the rotisserie chicken
39:38Hello
39:40Hello. Hello. You're done. You're good
39:43That girl just keeps staring that girl
39:45i'm
39:46Trying so hard to not let it bother me just for the sake of beckner
40:02Do your breathing
40:06People are already looking
40:08Tip it to the top that weiner tap the rotisserie chicken even though i'm freaking out a little baby weenie
40:13I'm not gonna let this interfere with beckner's birthday
40:30When bailyn goes in public people only see a snippet of her in her day-to-day life
40:35And they don't see that banter or laughter with their friends actually does affect her it might not in that moment
40:42But later on it makes it worse like you're causing me more anxiety in public by staring
40:47It's just you're the type of person that would go to say something, but tonight just chill
40:52Okay
40:53Suck a wiener
40:56That will not do
40:58I think i'm gonna go in there and try to try to escape all the noise and going by what's in there
41:04Where's the fun games?
41:06I need to come to a place like this and you're like, is she really ready?
41:14Can you see her through there you think she's doing on I think she's I mean she's struggling a little bit. All right
41:19I'll go first
41:21Pretty jittery
41:22I think it's a mix of
41:24Anxiety hungry knew she was gonna be in a public space all day
41:28I'm getting scared. It's my birthday. I don't want to die on it
41:32You gotta have like a little faith in her
41:35She slapped me with a piece of pizza at the kitchen table yesterday. Who's to say she's not gonna slap her. I couldn't
41:41Not laugh
41:43Are you okay? Don't throw it, please
41:45But we don't want our daughter to be 24 living at home
41:49Nope, but I also don't want her in the emergency
41:52Unit at a burn center. I mean she just left the stove on three weeks ago and melted the plastic handle
41:57I know the reality of it is though. She's not completely disabled
42:02She has to be able to make mindful choices about what she can do and what she can't do. That's what it comes down to
42:09Yeah, i'm pushing this back in. Okay. I'll hold this time you
42:13Push it. It ain't going in
42:15Who did better at jenga? I feel like it was like we were both surprising each other. This is epic
42:22We were literally both surprising each other I was i'm i've always been terrible
42:26We we thought it was gonna crash and burn the first like 10 minutes in I think the pizza's here
42:31Okay, let's go. Come on. Bay is a great older sister to me
42:37You are a great older sister
42:40She is a great older sister. I love you, too
42:45What the fuck was that i'm sorry, I like burped and then like sat my tics off as it was coming up on my nose
42:54Happy birthday
42:56Ha ha ha ha
43:01Happy birthday. Love you. How old are you?
43:15What did you wish for I wished for
43:19Bay getting a little better with her tics and then
43:23I'd take another couple pair of sunglasses
43:26I
43:31I'm gonna move. Hello. Hello. Colin's calling. He's on the phone right now. Yeah, I got her
43:40Hello
43:43What
43:45I found out some news about my job. Where are you going?
43:50Is it good news or bad news
43:53Yeah, it's it's news i'll tell you in person
43:58With colin calling me out of nowhere telling me that this conversation needs to be in person
44:05This could be about anything even like his relocation orders to leave
44:16I'm like like
44:19Anxious like I don't I don't want to know but I want to know
44:26Here you go bud
44:36One of them suck a penis, but you're not scared about that
44:44Shake it off
44:49Hey
44:59Sir yes, sir drop and fuck off. My mind has been racing trying to figure out what colin has to tell me
45:05I just found out this news and I know baylen is dreading it. Are you fucking for real?
45:11Talk about breaking news
45:13Because of the conversation i've had with colin my previous timeline to move out on my own has now moved up
45:21drastically
45:22Hey, motherfucker that balcony situation hard no for me
45:25My parents are worried for my safety when I move out because of my tics
45:30But I don't want to let tourette restrict me
45:34Hi
45:34I've never spoken in front of a group of people. I have a nine-inch penis. Baylen is ticking
45:42Bombastic silence, she's gonna overdo herself
45:47Okay
45:49How would baylen ever survive on her own?
45:53Maybe you would consider a conversation
45:56with a neurologist
45:57About deep brain stimulation. They would shave your head drill a hole and then they stick it down in your brain
46:04Yeah
46:05Doctors and most people look at me like I am the craziest bitch that they have ever met in their life
46:12Joe biden has a vagina
46:15I was a little confused what's going on. She said joe biden does have
46:20Oh
46:22Too slow fuck off
46:25Fuck off
46:27That is mint flavored vagina
46:29You're excited to see my parents
46:32My parents are very conservative and religious
46:35One of my favorite ones is but seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness
46:40And all these things shall be added to you. So
46:42It's shocking the first time she has one of the explosions
46:46Jesus take the wheel
46:49I would like for colin's parents to come up and both families to meet
46:55I mean, it's been two years. It's been long overdue
46:57I'm, definitely starting to feel the seriousness now colin's parents tend to be on the conservative side
47:02And we live a pretty messy life. So a lot could go wrong the day of oh, there they are
47:10Colin i'm really upset. It just sucked the whole day sucked. I don't even want to be here
47:16I
47:23Knew this day was probably coming
47:26But I definitely got questions. He can be intense. And why do you say that? It was him chainsaws me
47:34I do have a serious question to ask you too
47:38If he leaves are you too codependent on him that you're gonna be like, oh my god
47:42I'm relocating with him because I love him so much. He's all I have
47:45We have news
47:48Holy lord, I have to make sure you're okay because if you're not, okay, I can't be
47:55Are you ready to do this tomorrow?