Dana B | Francis Tutors Dana Beers
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00:00I'm trying to present as a Gen Z. I identify as a 27 year old right now.
00:05You're a cool guy.
00:06I went and spoke to some of those 27 year olds upstairs.
00:10I said, do you guys think that we're all the same age and stuff?
00:14And they said, don't get a chain.
00:15I got one.
00:16You tuck yours away as a little treasure.
00:18Whenever I jack off, throw it back there.
00:21Smart.
00:22So Jesus ain't seen none of the blasphemy on my penis.
00:27Well, um, that didn't take long.
00:32You ever think about buying a house?
00:34I would love a deck.
00:36A deck would be nice.
00:37Front porch.
00:38What is a mortgage?
00:40I believe it's just similar to rent, but I'm paying the mortgage to...
00:45Who?
00:46The bank.
00:47Correct.
00:48Yeah.
00:49It's just a loan.
00:50That's all it is.
00:51That's all a mortgage is, is a loan.
00:52That says, we're going to give you the money, most of the money, to buy your home, because
00:56you probably can't afford to buy it with cash.
01:00Not this guy.
01:01And in return, you are going to pay us back over the course of 30 years, that's a pretty
01:07standard mortgage, a 30 year mortgage, with a little bit of interest.
01:11Let's say I wanted to buy a house that I probably can't afford, but it's like my dream house.
01:18Sure.
01:19Would the monthly payments be bigger or can I still do like lower payments over like 60
01:24years?
01:25That would not work.
01:27What?
01:28Well, I think you're kind of asking the question that led to the 2008 financial housing crisis.
01:35Why can't I just spread it out over forever, and then die, and then I'm done?
01:40The bank is not going to give you a mortgage whose terms are going to let you just die.
01:45The shorter the loan term, the shorter the payout schedule, the more money you will be
01:50paying.
01:51The less interest you'll be paying, and the quicker you will gain equity in your home.
01:57Have you ever heard this term?
01:59Yeah, that's, yeah.
02:01Equity is just ownership over your home.
02:02Yeah.
02:03And a lot of that comes down to how good your credit is, what your income looks like, and
02:09as well as how much money you're willing to put down.
02:13That's the one.
02:14You could also, at any point, I believe, pay off the entirety of your mortgage.
02:19Yeah, so you hit the lotto real quick?
02:21Yeah.
02:22Bang.
02:23You own your home outright.
02:24Am I going to fuck myself if I buy a house that's too expensive?
02:28I think, no, well, the bank probably won't give you a mortgage for a home that they don't
02:35think you can afford.
02:36They should.
02:37Because they don't want you to default on the loan.
02:39I just don't get how people do this.
02:42It's Mickey Mouse money.
02:43What do you mean?
02:44$200,000 down, if it's a million dollar house.
02:47You don't have to buy a million dollar house.
02:49If I want to, I want to.
02:51Let's say you want a million dollar house.
02:52I want one bad.
02:53You want a one million dollar house.
02:55Imagine Beardsley sitting in the back porch, front porch, hanging out, drinking beers and
03:00whistling to people.
03:01Where was this house?
03:03I want to have a bunch of money and live on a porch.
03:06Yeah, well, I want 15 women cupping my balls while I watch Sunday night football.
03:13We all want magical things to happen to us.
03:17If my aunt had a dick, she'd be my uncle.
03:21My advice to you would be to continue to rent, save money so that you can build up credit
03:29and cash so that you can put down your down payment.
03:34There's a lot of unseen costs that come with home ownership.
03:38You've got taxes.
03:39You've got HOA a lot of the time.
03:41There's closing fees that are substantial.
03:43You're going to have to pay to pay for your house.
03:48You're going to have to hire a real estate attorney.
03:50You're going to have to do the contracts.
03:52You're going to have to do the closing fees.
03:54You're going to have to do the house inspection.
03:55You're going to have to do a radon test.
03:57I didn't even know what the fuck radon was.
03:59Someone told me I had to do a radon test.
04:01And I said, you know what?
04:02I don't give a fuck about that.
04:03It doesn't even sound like a real thing.
04:05My next door neighbors did a radon test and the numbers were super high.
04:09And so they told me, bad news.
04:11You got to do a radon test.
04:12And I'm choosing to die from radon poisoning rather than pay for a radon test at this point.
04:18That's what we need to do is have fucking kids that are nasty at sports.
04:21You're right.
04:22Let's have children to solve our financial woes.
04:25That sounds like the right strategy.
04:27You're not giving me much hope here.
04:29There is hope.
04:30Fucking rodon poisoning?
04:32The Federal Reserve controls interest rates, which is the percentage that banks can make
04:39on money they loan people like Dana Beers.
04:42Yes.
04:43We've been in a time of pretty bad inflation lately.
04:47But it sort of seems like maybe that might head in the right direction.
04:52I'm not saying that, but hopefully as inflation cools, the Federal Reserve will lower interest
05:02rates to encourage people to spend and buy more homes.
05:06Do you think the cavemen were fucking happier when the money didn't exist?
05:11No, because even though they didn't have to worry about mortgage payments when they went
05:15out to capture a raccoon for dinner, there was a high likelihood that they were going
05:21to get mauled by a saber-toothed tiger.
05:24But they didn't have to fucking have interest rates up their dickhole.
05:28Oh, shoot.
05:29Papa Dana's been gone for an hour.
05:32He must be dead.
05:34He certainly didn't get distracted by Best Buy and the surround sound speakers.
05:42He's been mauled by a fucking saber-toothed tiger.
05:47You're right.
05:48They didn't have buff chick calzones either.
05:50I think you're going to be fine.
05:52I hope so.
05:53I think it's just about continuing to bet on yourself and believe on yourself.
05:57Try to grow your income.
05:59And that over time, you will buy a house.
06:01It may not be on the cliffs of Cohasset.
06:04Cohasset.
06:05Yeah, that's where the house is.
06:06Very expensive.
06:07That's a fucking porch.
06:09That's going to be the house you buy when you're 45 or 50.
06:12Really?
06:13Probably.
06:14All right.
06:15I can wait it out until then.
06:16You're going to have a starter home.
06:17You ever heard of a starter home?
06:18Oh, I've heard of a starter home.
06:19Starter home.
06:20I'll start a home.
06:21I'll be a starter home.
06:22You've got a couple of babies, and as they become toddlers, you build some bunk beds.
06:26So it's a three bedroom, but the kids are happy.
06:28They're bunking.
06:29Yeah.
06:30We're going to Quincy Middle School, boys.
06:32That's mortgages.
06:33I feel probably worse, but it's good to be educated.
06:36Sorry to hear that.
06:37It's all right.
06:38Thank you, Francis.
06:39Good luck.