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01:00Boy, I love traffic when it's creepy!
01:02Perch, you ought to see this!
01:09Thanks! I always wanted a telescope!
01:13Gee, Dad, if we don't get out of this traffic,
01:15we won't get to Indianapolis in time for the time trial.
01:18Don't worry, Pugsley.
01:19I know a lovely little shortcut up ahead,
01:21through Vermin Valley.
01:24Yes, it goes through the quaint little town of Coffin Corner.
01:28They say it's beautifully laid out.
01:30Every street a dead end.
01:33Here's what I want to see!
01:34Count Evil and his racing car!
01:36He's supposed to win the big race!
01:38Oh, what a time thing!
01:40And such a warm, friendly smile!
01:47Rudy, who are all these stupid peasants?
01:50Ah, there goes the Indianapolis count
01:53to see you win the big race.
01:55How dare you call it a race
01:57Me? Count Evil driving?
01:59It is a runaway!
02:01Ah, but Count, watch the road!
02:05What is that?
02:06The thing with the kid who looks like an alligator.
02:09Hmm.
02:10Ah, that's either a four-wheel house or a three-story car.
02:13I've never seen anything like it before.
02:15That is the ugliest machine I've ever laid eyes on.
02:19I must have it for my car collection.
02:22Ah, but what if they won't sell?
02:24In that case, you'll have to steal it.
02:27Aha! They're taking the road to Vermin Valley.
02:30All right, follow them!
02:32Ah, but Count, you're doing Indianapolis for the time trials.
02:35You're right, Rudy.
02:37Later, my proud beauty.
02:39What the count wants, the count gets!
02:45Vermin Valley, gateway to Coffin County.
02:51Isn't it gorgeous, Corita?
02:53Oh, yes. I'm glad we took the scenic route, darling.
02:56What's that water ahead?
02:58That's Lake Erie.
03:00And in the distance?
03:01A black rainbow.
03:03Oh, I hope Uncle Fester isn't missing any of this beauty.
03:08What's that river?
03:10That's the river of no return!
03:13Tin cans.
03:15Tin cans? There are thousands of them!
03:19What's that?
03:20Lurch must have the hiccups again!
03:22No, I'm afraid we're running out of gas.
03:27Yes, I think we're out of gas.
03:30Ah, but what a garden spot.
03:33Perfect for the children.
03:35Lots of poison ivy and quicksand.
03:38And look, dear, our kind of people.
03:42Dad, aren't we supposed to be going to Indianapolis for the big race?
03:47No, of course, my boy.
03:49I was just overcome by all this beauty.
03:53We'll hitchhike into Coffin Corners for gas.
03:56Hitchhikers, front and center.
04:13No wonder they reacted like that.
04:15I should have given Finn his manicure.
04:18What do we do now, Dad? We've got to get to the big race.
04:21Don't despair, my boy. We'll get gasoline, somehow.
04:25How about my making some, Bobaz?
04:28After all, what comes out of a swamp?
04:31The monster from Boggy Creek?
04:33No! Decayed vegetation, which makes oil,
04:37which makes gasoline, which makes us get to the big race on time.
04:43How's it coming, Professor?
04:45I've got the perfect formula.
04:47Swamp gas, plus three parts slime,
04:50plus two parts high-octane muck.
04:53But, Fester, that's not gasoline.
04:56No, it's festerine,
04:59with the secret ingredient scotch tape.
05:03We're ready to roll.
05:12I've filled the tank. Blast off!
05:15Pugsley, festerine is a hundred times more powerful than gasoline.
05:19You'd better fasten your seatbelt.
05:21Okay, Dad.
05:25No, Indianapolis 500, here we come.
05:32Uncle Fester, you better tell the scat for me to scat.
05:36The festerine's too rich. That's why the motor's choking.
05:40What do you do when something is choking?
05:43Lurch.
05:44You call.
05:46The camper's choking. Go slap it on the back.
05:49Ready?
05:51Slap away.
05:56One more time.
06:01Accelerate with scat for me.
06:03The only way to fly.
06:10What was that?
06:11The three-story car with the weird kid with the long nose.
06:15Look at that speed. Catch it, Rudy.
06:19Wow, that was Count Eagle we passed.
06:22I hope we didn't upset him.
06:24He seems like such a nice man.
06:26Come on, you dummy. Catch it.
06:28But, Count, I can't.
06:30That car's faster than your racing car.
06:35Not anymore, it isn't.
06:37I think they just had a wreck.
06:39Ah, that wasn't a wreck. That was a sonic boom.
06:42They just went through the sound barrier.
06:44I've got to have that car.
06:49Indianapolis Speedway, home of the famous 500.
06:53Time trial today, big race tomorrow.
07:10Ah, Count, look, over there.
07:13It's that ugly machine.
07:15Ah, so, the beautiful ugly machine.
07:18Rudy, we are going to pay them a little visit.
07:22Before the day is through, it will be in my collection.
07:30Archie, look, the Bride of Frankenstein.
07:34I'm not too crazy about her clothes, but I wonder who does her hair.
07:38Hi, neighbors. Mind if we park next to you?
07:41It's the only space left.
07:43Sure, go ahead. I'll move my van over.
07:46Never mind. My butler will do it for you.
07:49Lurch?
07:51May I be of service?
07:53Our good neighbor would like his van moved over.
07:56Very well.
07:59Gently, Lurch.
08:02Hello, I'm Morticia Adams.
08:06We're the Dunkers. It's been nice knowing you.
08:14Lovely people.
08:16Yes, wanting us to have all this room.
08:19Hi, dear. I'm Judy Jordan. Are you all with the circus?
08:23Lurch, your strongman act has attracted attention.
08:26No, my dear, we're just your average American family
08:30out seeing the good old U.S. of A. in our camper.
08:33See, it's groovy. All my dad's got is a race car.
08:36Is your dad the famous race driver Flash Jordan?
08:39Yeah. Would you like to meet him?
08:41Could we? He's the only one who's supposed to have a chance to beat Count Evil.
08:45Of course, dear. We ordinary folk just love to meet unusual people.
08:50Let's go.
08:53There's nobody home. Be sure. Look in the window.
08:59There's somebody home.
09:01There's somebody home. A tarantula, two bats and an octopus.
09:06You're imagining things. Let me see.
09:14Thanks. I needed that.
09:17What an old weirdo.
09:19Gee, Mr. Jordan, we certainly appreciate your exploiting your car.
09:23Yeah, thanks, Mr. Jordan. This is some car.
09:27Weird.
09:29You're wasting time, Rudy. Open the hood.
09:32I've got to know what makes this ugly thing tick.
09:36Ah, thanks, Count. Ah, I needed that.
09:39Never mind. Check the motor.
09:42What's the matter now?
09:44Ah, the fad belt. It hissed at me. Ridiculous.
09:48Ha, ha, ha. It hissed at you, too?
09:50No, it rattled at me.
09:52If I weren't a mechanical genius, I would swear the generator coil is an electric eel.
09:58Ha, ha, ha.
10:00And I would swear that the fad belt was a snake.
10:03Hey, Wednesday, look. It's Count Evil.
10:06Get away from here, kids. This is private property.
10:10It sure is. Ours.
10:12Oh, of course.
10:15The Count was joking.
10:17Ah, the Count loves little kiddies.
10:19Hey, can I have your autograph, Count?
10:21Let's make a bargain, shall we?
10:23I give you the autograph. You show how the motor works.
10:27You did it.
10:28Look, the electric eel. It lights up.
10:31Ah, yeah. And the snake goes around.
10:34Make the snake go faster. I mean, race the motor.
10:38I think this will do it.
10:42Wednesday, stop it.
10:44I just know how to start it. I never learned it.
10:47I just know how to start it. I never learned how to stop it.
10:50Watch out for the Count.
10:51Stop it. Put on the brakes.
10:54Step on the eel.
10:56Watch out. We're going to hit that fence.
11:02Just for that, you don't get the autograph.
11:06Finally, we're on the track.
11:08Just a minute, folks. There seems to be a house going down the track.
11:11Ah, it is a house.
11:14Lindsay, help me find a brake.
11:16Maybe this is it.
11:20Look at that thing go. It must be a secret design, folks.
11:23It's either a four-wheel house or a three-story car.
11:26I've got to have that car, Rudy. I must own it.
11:30Ah, you'll never get it, Count.
11:32The kid can't handle all that power. He's going to crash.
11:36I'll try this.
11:39The mill frees back. The shutters are shuttering.
11:41The flag is flapping. The hood's popping. The engine's pumping.
11:44The only way they're going to stop this is to crash.
11:47Nothing makes it stop. We've got to jump.
11:55Boy, what a groovy ride.
11:57Wow, I'll say.
12:04Father, can I go watch Mr. Jordan? He's making his time trial run.
12:08Why, sure, Pugsley.
12:10Such a fine little driver.
12:12Maybe he can give my number one competitor some tips.
12:16What a car, Mr. Adams. What a car.
12:19I'll give you 500,000 for it.
12:22Oh, a half million dollars?
12:24But I really don't need any pocket money.
12:29Ah, you could use the money to get a certain ugly somebody a false face.
12:33Oh, that's very kind.
12:35But Uncle Fester likes the way he looks.
12:37That's your uncle?
12:39Yes. I'm surprised you don't recognize the family resemblance.
12:44Attention, fans. Flash Jordan has just set a new time trial record.
12:48He now becomes the odds-on favorite to win the big race tomorrow.
12:51What a driver. What a pit crew.
12:54Sounds like you have your work cut out for you, Count.
12:57Mr. Adams, you seem like a very charitable man.
13:00I'll make you a sporting proposition.
13:03If I don't defeat Flash Jordan in the big race tomorrow,
13:06I will donate a million dollars to your favorite charity.
13:10However, if I do defeat your odds-on favorite,
13:14you will then give me your camper.
13:17Oh, done, sir. It's a wager.
13:20For the sake of sweet charity, of course.
13:22Excuse me, I must break the exciting news to Morticia.
13:26Ah, Count, what makes you so sure you can beat Flash Jordan?
13:29Because he can't win without a pit crew.
13:36There you are, driver. There's fare to the airport plus your tip.
13:39Courtesy, Count Evil.
13:41Count, are you sure Flash Jordan withdrew from the 500?
13:45But absolutely. He knew he had no chance of beating me,
13:48so he flew off to Le Mans to enter a race he was sure he could win.
13:52If you hurry and get the next plane out, you might even beat him to France.
14:01Oh, my new partner.
14:03I just bet the count my trailer against a million dollars for my favorite charity
14:07that you win the race tomorrow.
14:10But I can't. I don't have a pit crew. My men are all gone.
14:13Oh, my good man, you need a pit crew. You've got a pit crew.
14:26Fans, the big moment is almost here.
14:28The pace car is leading the entries to the starting line.
14:31Count Evil is now favored to win,
14:33but only because Flash Jordan has lost his crack pit crew.
14:36They've been replaced by a crew of complete amateurs.
14:39We've seen a lot of crews here on the old speedway,
14:41but this one is, shall we say, the most colorful.
14:45The crew chief is Gomez Adams,
14:47who is using that fantastic camper we saw yesterday
14:50as backup car for his friend Flash.
14:52And there they go.
14:54And there goes Flash Jordan taking the lead.
14:56And there goes Count Evil out to challenge him.
14:59It's going to be a great race, smart man.
15:02It's Flash Jordan still in the lead,
15:04but the count is right on his tailpipe.
15:06Look, the count is trying to hit my daddy.
15:09Gomez, you must do something. The count is cheating.
15:20I'll win this race and that beautiful, ugly camper.
15:24Don't let him hurt my daddy.
15:26Gomez, we must help the poor, dear man.
15:29Never fear, my dear.
15:39Flash Jordan is still in the lead.
15:41And that takes plenty of courage, ladies and gentlemen,
15:43with the count's car bearing down on you.
15:45Ladies and gentlemen, the count will stop at nothing.
15:47He's holding sports fans.
15:49There's a large, ugly bird hovering right over the count's car.
15:57Fans, the count is no longer crowding Flash Jordan.
16:00And as for that bird, there's only one thing I can tell you.
16:03It wasn't Jonathan Livingston's seagull.
16:07Here it is, fans, the count's bird pit stop.
16:13Beautiful, just beautiful.
16:15One of the fastest pit stops of all time.
16:18And here comes Jordan's pit stop.
16:20Poor Flash with those amateurs of his.
16:24Fans, we've just witnessed the greatest pit stop in racing history.
16:27What a group of Flash has put together.
16:29If I didn't know better, I'd swear one of the mechanics has eight arms.
16:32The count could be in big trouble.
16:38Hey, we're not going to lose the count.
16:40We're going to win this race.
16:42We're going to win this race.
16:44We're going to win this race.
16:46We're going to win this race.
16:48We're going to win this race.
16:50We're going to win this race.
16:52Hey, we're not going to lose the camper.
16:54And Dad's favorite charity will get a million dollars.
16:56Only eight more laps to go.
16:58And thanks to the work of Flash Jordan's amazing pit crew,
17:00he is still well in the lead.
17:02If Count Needham is going to pull this one out,
17:04he'd better have a secret weapon.
17:06Time for the secret weapon.
17:08If I'm going to win this race and the ugly machine,
17:12I'll have to puncture his gas tank.
17:15Ah, but you promised to buzz it, you'd be nice.
17:18So I lied a little.
17:22Now, for my secret weapon.
17:28Flash Jordan is having extra trouble.
17:30But it couldn't have been that little monkey guy.
17:32It just looks like the Count's legendary racing pump
17:34is going to save him again.
17:36Flash Jordan is going to have to make another pit stop.
17:38This is going to cut into his lead, ladies and gentlemen.
17:40The Count's car punctured my gas tank.
17:42What a nasty thing to do.
17:44Yes, most unspoken.
17:46I'm going to have to make another pit stop.
17:48This is going to cut into his lead, ladies and gentlemen.
17:50What a nasty thing to do.
17:52Yes, most unsportsmanlike.
17:54He's just plain cheating.
17:56Mr. Jordan will lose the race.
17:58And we'll lose our beloved creepy camper.
18:01This calls for festering.
18:03But my tank leaks, it won't hold it.
18:05With festering, you only need a few drops in the carburetor.
18:12Oh my, the festering is taking him backwards.
18:15You should have known.
18:17You should have known.
18:19You should have investigated for these primitive motors.
18:22Sports fans, this is incredible.
18:24Flash Jordan, with a race practically won,
18:26is now racing backwards.
18:28That's right, ladies and gentlemen, backwards.
18:30Flash Jordan is setting lap records for going backwards.
18:33The faster he goes, the further behind he gets.
18:36The Count's car now has the lead.
18:39Folks, it looks now like it's really all over for Flash Jordan.
18:42He seems to be running out of whatever he's been running on.
18:48It's all our fault.
18:50But that cheating Count caused it all.
18:53And he's going to win, and we're going to lose the camper.
18:56Not yet, my boy. Everybody to the camper.
18:59This is really the end for poor Flash Jordan.
19:01His pit crew is deserting him.
19:03They're getting ready to leave in the backup car.
19:05How can they be so heartless?
19:07Wait a minute. Flash Jordan's crew hasn't deserted him.
19:11They're going to try to push Flash Jordan to victory.
19:15The race isn't over yet.
19:17The Jordan-Adams entry is passing countable.
19:19But strangely enough, the Count's pit crew doesn't look concerned.
19:22Ah, don't worry.
19:24He'll use the secret weapon on the camper.
19:27I'll win this race.
19:33There they come, down the home stretch, headed for the finish line.
19:36The camper lost a little ground on that last turn,
19:38and now it's neck and neck.
19:41The race is over.
19:43Flash Jordan has won by a front porch.
19:49Nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and eighty-five.
19:54Nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and eighty-six.
19:59Darling, have you decided which of your favorite charities will get the Count's million dollars?
20:04The one dearest to my heart, Corita.
20:07The Gould School at Dracula University.
20:10Oh, a research grant in vulture culture.
20:14I'll make the donation in your name, Mr. V.
20:20Darn it! Just as I was nearly finished counting!
20:24One, two, three, four...
20:40Yes!
21:10Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada