Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Er, I got the name of my band.
00:02God, what is it? Heatseeker.
00:05And... That's a bit random.
00:06Heatseeker's actually a good name.
00:08What's it going to be? Trash metal.
00:10Oh, God. Oh, Jesus.
00:11Give us a rendition of a song.
00:14Er...
00:15There's a lot of screaming, it's like...
00:17They'd be, like, singing like normal and then they'd go, like...
00:19And then they'd go, like, normally...
00:22That's not singing.
00:23But it's good. It calms me down, actually. I can't, like...
00:27Oh, big chances he's a lame!
00:30Oh, Jesus, he's a larder.
00:35It's finished. Is it?
00:37It's not! You rat!
00:38LAUGHTER
00:40Jesus.
00:41This makes me happier than you ever could every week.
00:43Oh, no, leave him alone, leave him alone!
00:45Jesus Christ, they don't give you any warning!
00:47Oh, you'd be sick!
00:49It's brilliant.
00:50It's stupid. It's savage.
00:57MUSIC CONTINUES
01:00In the week when Jazzy became the biggest Irish female artist
01:03in the world on Spotify, we watched loads of great telly.
01:10On Sunday, Ireland's best-known brothers were back on RTÉ One.
01:14Not one new project should be entered into
01:17until you finish what you have got.
01:20Oh, my God.
01:21They look like they want to reef their heads off.
01:24A brand-new drama on Virgin Media Play had us pondering modern life.
01:29Hey, what's your name? 32.
01:30Oh, I asked you a question.
01:33No respect for the elder anymore.
01:34That's why I wouldn't live in the city.
01:36And BBC Two really tested our taste buds on Thursday.
01:40There we go.
01:42Smelling gorgeous, of course.
01:44That looks like when you've a really bad yeast infection.
01:48I'd fucking nailed that now.
01:54In Carlow...
01:55If you were to be half human, half animal, what animal?
01:59..mates Greg, John and Eric.
02:02You'd need, like, fast legs.
02:04So, like, ostrich legs or something.
02:07Just be running real fast.
02:09Here, like, a cheetah is only fast on four legs,
02:11but an ostrich is fast on two.
02:13But an ostrich, where do you stop when the ostrich begins?
02:16Oh, at the way. Oh, yeah, yeah.
02:18Cos you wouldn't want an ostrich really...
02:20..to have that anyway.
02:25Last Tuesday, we eagerly tuned in to Virgin Media 2
02:29to meet the occupants of Britain's most dysfunctional household.
02:35Oh, yes!
02:36HE HUMS
02:40Oh, like, absolute best TV ever.
02:43This is Big Brother.
02:45This is Big Brother.
02:47It's time for the final head-to-head challenge.
02:51Half of them went into, like, a hole, was that, like, a warehouse?
02:54And they had to fight to get back into the house? Right.
02:57In front of you are Big Brother's dreaded dare cards.
03:02Oh, this is going to be good.
03:04Oh, my God, the stress of this.
03:05Remember playing Spin The Bottle when you were younger
03:07and the worst dare that could be asked would be kiss a girl?
03:09Wear a bucket on your head at all times.
03:13That's the dare.
03:14I'd make him strip off or something.
03:17Yeah, you see, that's why I don't like doing truant and dare.
03:20HE LAUGHS
03:22I think I like it. Do I pull it off?
03:24You rock it.
03:25Surely the next one is, like, shove a banger up your arse or something?
03:28Yeah, yeah. Wouldn't need a dare for that.
03:30THEY LAUGH
03:32Later in the show, we watch the housemates attempt a challenge
03:36to see who would make it back into the Big Brother house.
03:39Hands up, who wants to be a housemate?
03:42For your final challenge, you must put your hand up
03:45for housemate status and hold it there.
03:49Let me stretch my arm for this.
03:51I'd be able to do that.
03:53Here we go.
03:54The final housemate with their hand up wins
03:57and will avoid the first eviction.
03:59How long do you expect me to sit in your living room with my hand up?
04:02Yeah, it's true, actually. It's not like we're in the house. Yeah.
04:05Straight arms, non-housemates.
04:07You must keep your arm up.
04:09MUSIC PLAYS
04:13This is my blow-dry hand.
04:15So, it's... Oh, you bat!
04:17HE LAUGHS
04:18I love the feeling when you can feel the blow-drying
04:20and how much you ever get that.
04:21OK, I accept the fate.
04:22Oh!
04:24Loser!
04:25Boo!
04:27HE SCREAMS
04:28Look at Ryan enjoying himself.
04:30Oh!
04:33One hand. OK, sorry.
04:35Oh, that was the first hand you pulled, you're out.
04:38THEY SHOUT
04:39You're out! You're out!
04:42I give up.
04:43MUSIC PLAYS
04:45HE SCREAMS
04:47Boo!
04:49See, you've got to remember as well,
04:51it's easy for us cos we're sitting down.
04:52If you were standing up, your arm...
04:55Oh! Oh, you're out!
04:57Dears and Lily have had their hands up
04:59for the last two hours and 24 minutes.
05:02What?
05:04What the fuck?
05:05God, you won't be waking up treating yourself the next morning,
05:07will you, with those arms?
05:08I was just about to think you would.
05:10Like the... You know that thing where it...
05:12HE LAUGHS
05:14That's dead.
05:17Be like, who's this?
05:19HE LAUGHS
05:20So much shit going on in my life, I'm so resilient.
05:24Right, OK.
05:25HE SCREAMS
05:26Yes, I get that!
05:28You're pulling the hard strings and you do it again, three.
05:30You're a fool. Why you do that?
05:32You're a fucking fool.
05:33I'd rather go home. You going out?
05:35I'd rather fucking go home and sleep on that thing tonight,
05:37especially after I've fucked my back now.
05:39I'd rather go home.
05:40She's using, like, reverse... Mind games.
05:42Yeah, reverse psychology.
05:44Absolutely promise.
05:45If I had any opportunity, I would.
05:47There she goes. Yeah, yeah.
05:49Oh, Lily.
05:51Right, are we going to stop or what?
05:52We may. Right.
05:53One, two, three.
05:55THEY LAUGH
05:56Congratulations, Daze.
05:58You wanted it the most and you have won.
06:03HE LAUGHS
06:04Not even going to try.
06:06I'm getting married now in two weeks' time.
06:07I know.
06:09She'll have to put the ring on.
06:10THEY LAUGH
06:14I swear on me life.
06:15That what?
06:16I'll put my hand down.
06:17Right, I'm not looking at you.
06:18Right, one, two, three.
06:21THEY LAUGH
06:23Woo!
06:25The former non-housemates have left storage
06:28to join their fellow housemates.
06:31SHE SCREAMS
06:33It doesn't mean anything to ye.
06:35THEY LAUGH
06:39SHE SCREAMS
06:42No, that's great. I'm going to do my nut in.
06:44SHE SCREAMS
06:46Yes, yes, well done.
06:48Oh, my God.
06:49I support you.
06:50Get away from me.
06:52We're below the shoulder now, so we're out.
06:54Yeah, no, it's down, it's down.
06:55It's down.
06:56It's down, it's down, it's down, it's down, it's down, it's down, it's down.
06:59Oh, man!
07:02THEY LAUGH
07:07In the Liberties, the warm, dark, warm messed-up...
07:10Do you know what it was saying to me as a baby?
07:11..friends, Tracey and Anita.
07:14Ah, dirty Jack, I put you in the sack
07:18If you don't go to Beepy for your mammy
07:23Ah, Babby Boo, I'll bait you if you don't go...
07:27I know.
07:28What the hell?
07:30Ah, here, stop.
07:31Ah, Babby Boo, I'll bait you.
07:34That was me lullaby.
07:37I need a hug.
07:38This week, we streamed a brand-new show on Virgin Media Play
07:42where we witnessed some modern couples
07:44navigate the highs and lows of modern life.
07:49Getting married, having a baby and buying your own home.
07:53I actually don't think all three is achievable.
07:55Eight couples from across the country allowed our cameras
07:59to share a very busy year in their lives.
08:02It's going to film the whole misery of getting married
08:04and the misery of having a baby and the misery of buying a house.
08:07This is Life Actually.
08:11Ah, see what they did there? Yeah.
08:12Like, love actually, but it's life actually.
08:15We wanted to get to know our couples a little bit better
08:18and we started with a very easy question.
08:21What first attracted you to your partner?
08:23His smile.
08:25The fact that he was tall, dark and handsome,
08:27exactly the kind of guy I was looking for.
08:29How do you know this is me first time round?
08:30You're just so cute. Oh, thanks.
08:32She was just a vision when she walked up the stairs.
08:36Aw.
08:37How often do we have sex?
08:39God, this is a part I'm going to like, Mum and Dad, do not watch this.
08:428% of couples have sex daily. That's a lay in here.
08:45In the first year.
08:46There's a bit of a drought in our house at the minute.
08:48THEY LAUGH
08:51THEY LAUGH
08:53Fuck you.
08:54Across the series, we followed loved-up couple Aoife and Graham
08:58and their rollercoaster attempts to become parents.
09:02Today, they are starting their second round of IVF.
09:05Oh, Jesus.
09:07Are you traumatised?
09:09I haven't had IVF.
09:11What the fuck did you go with? Oh, no, I'm thinking of the wrong one.
09:14What? Mastectomy.
09:15I haven't had a mastectomy, what are you talking about?
09:18What were you thinking of? I don't know.
09:20What did the doctor... I haven't had any procedure.
09:23What did the doctor do up your fanny, then?
09:24A smear test. That's what it was.
09:27A mastectomy.
09:29We got married in 2018, in July,
09:32and then started trying for a baby, I suppose, in the August.
09:36So we've been trying since then.
09:39Oh, two years, well...
09:40Got pregnant on our first round.
09:42Lost at six weeks and, I think, two days.
09:45Then decided we'd transfer again, got pregnant,
09:49and then at eight weeks and, I think, four days,
09:51then we had another loss.
09:53Seem IVFs were extremely stressful.
09:55That's how it's going, isn't it?
09:57We're kind of lucky we didn't have that challenge, Laura.
10:00Outside of round two, we're about €40,000 in to trying to have a baby.
10:07Wow! Oh, my God.
10:09Oh, God, and there's no guarantee. That's the awful thing.
10:12Today, they have travelled to Waterford
10:15for the next stage of their IVF treatment egg retrieval.
10:19Might be a stupid question, are they going to make the conception
10:22day happen externally?
10:24Yes, yeah, exactly.
10:27I'm still kind of nervous and maybe cautious as well.
10:30She looks nervous and she looks good.
10:32And she's holding herself here cos she knows it's going to hurt.
10:35I've never actually thought about wappens during an IVF session.
10:39Never once seen it.
10:40I'll be brought down to a little room
10:42and I'll have to produce my sample there
10:45and then it'll be taken to the lab.
10:47Yeah, cos it has to be fresh.
10:48Mum, stop.
10:50The more eggs that are retrieved from Aoife,
10:52the better the odds the couple have
10:54of making viable, healthy embryos.
10:57Most people feel really weird to have to go into separate rooms
11:00to have a baby.
11:01No technical difficulties. Great.
11:03We've got 27 eggs through the final telly, so plenty of eggs.
11:08He seems super supportive, though, doesn't he?
11:10Something that they both want, though, which is good. Yeah.
11:12The next step now is we've kind of a two-week wait of...
11:18..not knowing if we are pregnant, wondering, are we pregnant?
11:21I don't think I'd be able to get that off my brain
11:23for the entire two weeks. Yeah.
11:25Children makes your life, too, like, you know,
11:27I might give out all the time, but at the end of the day,
11:29I'd love to come home in the evening and give them a big kiss.
11:32Following the egg transfer, Aoife and Graeme are back in Wexford.
11:36So, I've gone into the toilet and I'm obviously wiped
11:40and there's blood on the tissue.
11:42Oh, no. That can't be good.
11:45I don't really know how to feel.
11:48So, yeah, two-week wait is not fun.
11:52A cup and a little blade from the...
11:55..from the... The procedure.
11:57After the gruelling two-week wait,
11:59the programme took us back to the couple's house
12:01for the all-important update.
12:03Fingers crossed for them.
12:05We are going to take our test.
12:08Just to reiterate, it's 20 to 6.
12:11Has to be the first wee of the morning.
12:13The hormones are high.
12:14Really? Yeah.
12:16Here we go. The anxiety of waiting around to see.
12:19Here goes.
12:21Go on, love. Go on.
12:26Just have to wait three minutes.
12:28Oh, lads, it'll be the longest three minutes of your life.
12:30We want two lines. Yes. OK.
12:32My heart's actually going like that. I know.
12:35PHONE RINGS
12:38All right, go. Come on, come on. Give us a gander.
12:44We're pregnant! Yay!
12:46Oh, my God!
12:48Ah!
12:50Get in there. Oh, I love it.
12:53And I'd do it 1,000 times again...
12:57Oh, God, and I hope... I hope it works out for them.
12:59Mm. Were you trying for ages, Russell?
13:02We were trying, actually, like, you know,
13:05and there was nothing happening.
13:07And then you just came along.
13:09And I told Dad on, um...
13:13..Christmas. Oh, did you?
13:14I put a little baby under the...
13:16I wrapped up a little baby doll under the tree...
13:18Cute. ..and I told him. You never told me that.
13:21Oh, well, there you go. That's very cute.
13:23That was me. It was you.
13:37In Cork...
13:39Tell me a popular chips combo that you would order.
13:42..Dale and her wife, Dawn.
13:45So it used to be, let's say, a curry chip of cheese.
13:49No.
13:50It's chips, cheese and curry.
13:51I know that from living in the city,
13:53but at home, it would be curry chip of cheese
13:56because it's curry chips with cheese on it,
13:58so it's curry chip of cheese.
13:59It's a chips, cheese curry, is it?
14:01Chips, cheese and curry?
14:02That's why I want chips, then my cheese and my curry on top of it.
14:05When have you ever gotten it that way?
14:06It's always chips, curry, cheese.
14:11No! The cheese is always on top.
14:13It's underneath the curry to melt it.
14:15When have you ever?
14:17In my lifetime, gotten the chipper
14:20and the cheese be underneath the curry sauce.
14:23On Thursday, we switched on BBC Two to see a well-known chef
14:28tell us about some lesser-known foods.
14:31I've been a chef for over 50 years.
14:34Oh, Rick's down.
14:35Who? See this guy?
14:37He's a legend. Legend.
14:38I've come to realise that the food we eat
14:41tells a story about who we are.
14:44Ah, every fucking food tells a story.
14:47Do we have to have the back story of every fucking langoustine?
14:52Death row meal.
14:53Like, straightaway, what is it? Main course only?
14:55Pizza.
14:57I like roast potatoes, mashed potatoes, potato gratin.
14:59Just potatoes.
15:00Oh, God, get in my belly.
15:03The programme took us to an English food market
15:05where we met a traditional butcher named Tony.
15:08Ah, here we go.
15:10Could I try some black pudding?
15:11Of course you can.
15:12HE LAUGHS
15:13What the hell is that?
15:15That's pudding, that's it, eh?
15:16Yeah, the first thing I was looking for was the little lumps of fat.
15:20Looks like a steamy shite.
15:21No, it's not. That's good stuff.
15:23Black pudding is a sausage made from pig's blood.
15:26La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
15:29Back fat, herbs and oatmeal.
15:31Oh, that's disgusting.
15:33That looks like an arm of celebrity bush took her trial.
15:35But Tony is also something,
15:37which I think it's fair to say isn't quite so appetising.
15:41What's that? I'm not a fan of treat, that's stomach cleaner.
15:43Eww!
15:45I can hear a squeal of terror from our younger viewers.
15:49Eugh!
15:50What the fuck?
15:51But it is very tasty.
15:53Well, you grew up on the tripe and black pudding and pig's feet.
15:57Well, if tripe isn't to your taste...
15:59A cow-eel?
16:01Cow-heel.
16:02Oh.
16:03HE LAUGHS
16:04That makes more sense.
16:06Is it any more worse than eating a cow's arse or whatever?
16:10Yeah, very, yeah.
16:11I haven't done that personally now, but...
16:14We watched as Rick walked into a nice new kitchen
16:17to cook one of his favourite old meals.
16:19So I'm going to try and tempt more of you round to that way of eating
16:23with a classic British dish that's one of my absolute favourites.
16:28Oh, I love liver.
16:30Again, Mam and Dad would have liver now.
16:32They used to have the man... They used to call it the van full of meat.
16:35And then there was the man who used to call it the van full of fish.
16:37And do you not have a milkman?
16:39We did, but he died.
16:41It's literally only about 30 seconds on either side.
16:44I actually have goose bumps.
16:46Like, that's actually vile.
16:48Smelling gorgeous, of course.
16:49That looks like when you've a really bad yeast infection.
16:53I'd fucking nailed that now.
16:55So, now to make it up.
17:02That's the way food should be served.
17:03It's just like when you go into restaurants
17:05and there's all this fucking squiggly shit around the plate now.
17:08And now he's going to wash it down with a nice glass of piss.
17:11Nice and pink inside, and so soft and luscious and sweet.
17:16There's actually a chipper uptown you can get liver and bacon.
17:19We're going up.
17:20What's wrong with just ordering a pizza?
17:22Who needs to do this?
17:23Later, the programme took us to a restaurant in Manchester
17:27where we watched a chef named Joe cook a pasta dish with a difference.
17:31To make the ragu, Joe prepares the pig's heart.
17:34Ah, you can't do that.
17:36Heart is nice. No! Heart is nice.
17:38Which he'll mince before cooking.
17:41I sometimes put the turkey heart into the stuffing of the Christmas turkey.
17:46You're lying. I'm not.
17:47Can you not do that, please?
17:49You've never complained before.
17:51And a good glug of red wine.
17:53Drink the rest of it while you're at it. The bottle, lad, the bottle.
17:56Finally, he adds the minced liver and kidneys.
18:00Oh!
18:01He serves his dish with toasted breadcrumbs and local Spenwood cheese.
18:05That actually probably is really good.
18:08I just can't get past the fact it's organs.
18:11Well...
18:14It's just so interesting.
18:15Interesting, that's one way to put it.
18:17That's a very polite way to say that shit.
18:20I was brought up an offal.
18:21Yeah, an offal out of shit.
18:24HE LAUGHS
18:25For fuck's sake.
18:26I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to lie.
18:28I'm dead.
18:29HE LAUGHS
18:30For fuck's sake.
18:33In Limerick, the Ryan family.
18:35One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
18:38I'm a foreigner and I don't speak German well.
18:40Very good.
18:41James has been learning to speak German.
18:43I would like to pay, please.
18:45Yeah. Do you know what that means?
18:46That was the first expression I taught your father when we used to go over to see him.
18:50What does it mean?
18:51I would like to pay now.
18:52HE LAUGHS
18:53Stop.
18:54Do you remember what ambulance is in German?
18:57Krankenwagen.
18:59Comes a krankenwagen, it's coming!
19:01Yeah!
19:02On Sunday, things got a little quizzical over on Virgin Media 1,
19:06as the first in a new series had us shouting at our screens.
19:11Oh, who wants to be a millionaire?
19:12Yeah.
19:13You're going down, Mum!
19:15HE LAUGHS
19:18Who wants to be a millionaire?
19:19Absolutely.
19:20I do.
19:21Is that gobshite still presentable?
19:23Hello and welcome to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
19:27OK. OK. We'll be good at this one.
19:29We should be good up to 32 grand.
19:31In the show, we met Michael from Chiswick
19:34as he reached the business end of the quiz.
19:36And for £16,000...
19:41..at which tournament?
19:42Tennis.
19:43That's the sport.
19:45Oh, shit.
19:46OK, we should be good at this, no?
19:47Why? At which tournament did Andy Murray win his first senior Grand Slam?
19:49I don't know sports.
19:51Why don't I ask you?
19:54Oh, one of the new lifelines is ask the host?
19:57Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah.
19:58That was never a thing before.
19:59I'm picturing him winning Wimbledon.
20:02And was that his first Grand Slam?
20:05US Open.
20:06Final answer. Come on.
20:07If I were in your shoes, then go for a 50-50.
20:10But, look, it's up to you,
20:12because that, I'm afraid, is my final answer.
20:14So, thank you, you were useless.
20:17I think we'd better ask the audience.
20:19D, Australian Open.
20:22Oh! So it was an Australian Open, then.
20:25Fucking clowns.
20:27There's no education system in England, for fuck's sake.
20:30Well, I think, reluctantly, I will have to take the 50-50.
20:33You recommend it? Oh, my God, he's used three lifelines now
20:36in this one fucking question for eight grand.
20:38If he takes the way the French Open stream, it's a fix.
20:44Oh, for a... Phil, that's not random.
20:46No. US Open, final answer.
20:50Oh, he's going to the US?
20:52Oh! No!
20:56Oh, he got it.
20:57God. Fucking ring me, I'd have fucking told you.
21:00That was too much. He overthought that. Yeah.
21:02This is your question for £125,000.
21:07£125,000, come on, let's be having you.
21:09The five grand will do me. Thanks very much.
21:12Which of these artists has had UK number one singles
21:16in the most decades?
21:17Oh, OK, we should know this. We should know this.
21:20Madonna. Madonna.
21:22No, not Madonna.
21:24OK, who's been around the most? No, number one singles.
21:27Singles.
21:28It's Madonna's whole life, yes, isn't it?
21:30Madonna's held together with superglue, but it's the Beatles.
21:33I'm going to phone my friend, Damien.
21:36What would you call on me for? Everything, yeah.
21:39Really? Yeah.
21:40Yeah, you're knowledgeable, like. Yeah, thank you.
21:43You wouldn't be my phone-a-friend?
21:44I'd be brilliant.
21:46Well, you wouldn't answer. No, it's great. First and foremost.
21:49Well, if you told me there was money in it, I might.
21:51Oh-ho!
21:53I think I would go for Madonna.
21:56The Beatles.
21:57So I'm going to go Madonna, final answer.
22:02Damien was right.
22:03How is it? It's Madonna.
22:05Oh, my God. Yeah.
22:06Are we bad gays? Told you.
22:08It's definitely the Beatles.
22:10That's bullshit.
22:11This question, Michael, if you get it right,
22:14will win you half a million pounds.
22:18Imagine always having money for milk.
22:21Which military leader was the oldest at the time of the battle
22:26they are paired with?
22:27James II of England, Boyne.
22:31Is that the Battle of the Boyne, like here?
22:34It would be, yeah.
22:35Oh. I'll go with that, cos it's Irish.
22:38Or Oliver Cromwell.
22:39I feel like it was Oliver Cromwell.
22:41I feel like he was, like, killing us right into his ripe old age.
22:45Yeah, he did. Do you remember that musical we went to see about him?
22:47Yeah. And he was murdering people right the way up to the way he died.
22:49He was old enough. Yeah.
22:50I'm going with C, the Battle of the Boyne.
22:53So I'm going to have to say, I'm going to take the money, final answer.
22:57Well done, Michael, from Chiswick.
22:59They better off winning money and telling no-one.
23:01I wouldn't even tell any kids.
23:04The correct answer is actually James II.
23:06Oh, no.
23:07You all right? I know my history.
23:10Oh, Dave, they actually named the battles that they were taking part in beside it.
23:14We didn't clock that.
23:15No, I did clock that, but I just assumed it was, like, a different Boyne.
23:18No, I thought that that was where they were from.
23:22Genuinely.
23:36In a thigh, the Grufferdys.
23:39Yeah, it was a disaster.
23:42Danielle proposed to her partner this week.
23:46Went on the beach, doing it on the beach, it was grand.
23:49Got down on the knee, started crying, it was all good.
23:53Put it on the wrong finger.
23:54Oh, he did that.
23:56He did that. I did that on the wedding.
23:57He did that. Then I took it off the finger to put it on the right finger
24:01and I dropped it in the sand.
24:03And I had the doggy battle during the sand.
24:04Oh, my God, that's the worst thing you could ever do.
24:07And anyway, you as well.
24:08What? Keeping it a secret, you knew for three months.
24:11I have nothing to do with this.
24:13Oh, I... You're some snake.
24:15I have nothing to do with this.
24:16Well, no, we're delighted for her.
24:19Ah.
24:20And to do with you, he's a nice couple, so he's our.
24:24On Sunday, RTÉ One served as a slice of country life
24:28with Ireland's best-loved brothers.
24:30Who in their right mind would think to build a beach resort in the Midlands?
24:35A beach resort?
24:36Welcome to the dream of one Irish dairy farmer and his Latvian sweetheart.
24:41They're building a Baltic-inspired, Bali-style holiday resort
24:44in the fields of County Leish.
24:46Get up out of that.
24:47It looks freezing.
24:49And they want to finish it all in time for their wedding next summer.
24:52This is going to be emotional.
24:58It's fucking Leish.
24:59What the hell?
25:01It all began eight years ago,
25:03when Iveta from Latvia met the love of her life,
25:06third-generation Irish dairy farmer, Pat.
25:09I've never milked a cow.
25:11Pat and Iveta are about to dive in headlong
25:14with a full-on holiday resort for adults.
25:16They're calling it Pond Beach.
25:20It's the fucking worst name ever.
25:23We have two cabins, a grill and bar area,
25:27which is under construction.
25:28Would be a nice idea, though, for a small wedding venue, though, no?
25:31It's not going to work. If it was done right.
25:33We have chess, we have basketball, volleyball.
25:38Volleyball! Imagine the beach volleyball there.
25:41In the rain!
25:42The autumn colours are lovely, anyway.
25:44They are. They're nice.
25:45Oh, here we are.
25:46He always kind of walks like he needs to go for shit.
25:49We want to give the pods our own Brennan blessing.
25:53That is the one-bedroom, open plan.
25:55This is a wheelchair open plan.
25:57Yeah, right, OK.
25:58Oh!
25:59That looks nice.
26:00OK. Oh, and you have the privacy curtain.
26:02That's great, because if I wanted to lie in in the morning
26:05and stay in bed and then get up late...
26:07That's exactly it.
26:08See that wee curtain? You pissed me off.
26:11Curtain closed.
26:12Yeah, I'd like that.
26:13It'd be constantly closed, wouldn't it?
26:15So, what do you think of where we are?
26:18I just don't know.
26:19Sure, every week you look, there's something else happening.
26:21That's the problem here.
26:22Yeah, there's a whack of ADHD off it.
26:24Like, job started but not finished.
26:27It's time for the truth, and the truth may just hurt.
26:30Tell us everything before we tear to shreds.
26:33Or we ruin your life.
26:34We would believe not one new project should be entered into
26:39until you finish what you have got.
26:41Oh, my God.
26:42They look like they want to reef the heads off him.
26:46Now, you're very happy you're not having an open look here.
26:49All about what she wants.
26:51And he's just delighted.
26:52Look at him, he's...
26:53He's just delighted he got a girl. Yeah.
26:55We honestly believe that you'd be out of your mind
26:59to build the bar restaurant.
27:01Mm.
27:02I feel like she's still just going to do what she wants
27:04and she won't give a shit.
27:07I can't do it. I'm sorry.
27:09You're fine.
27:10I can't do it.
27:11Nothing like the Irish to give you a good harsh dose of reality,
27:13like, isn't there?
27:14We watched as Frances paid a visit to Leash
27:17to see how things were progressing.
27:19OK, so what we're doing here,
27:21we're planning to have a kind of dip pool for people in the summer.
27:24A dick pool?
27:26What?
27:27Now, it's still a work in progress.
27:29This is a jetty, so we're introducing boats this summer.
27:33So, they didn't take on board what she said
27:36about not starting more projects.
27:39No, you better. That's an awful lot of projects.
27:41It's like an adventure centre,
27:42but one that's been shut down due to many people dying at it.
27:46One more step, Frances.
27:48Open your eyes, Frances.
27:49This is the moment, yeah?
27:50Yeah. Open your eyes.
27:53Oh, my God. Oh, no.
27:56That looks gorgeous.
27:57That should be in the front of the brochure.
28:02A food truck?
28:03Yes.
28:04It's...
28:05..a better idea?
28:07With the couple's wedding date looming,
28:09we saw Frances return to Pond Beach for a timely update.
28:16Look at this.
28:17It's a real barn for the dance on a Saturday night.
28:20Now, that's lovely.
28:21Yeah, that's actually nice, to be fair.
28:23Yeah, it is nice.
28:24At least one part of the business is starting to look finished.
28:27No, she's built a wedding venue around grills on wheels, Dave.
28:33Dave, it doesn't matter what she does,
28:36the bride still has to go up and queue for her quarter pounder
28:40and chips with a pour over.
28:42At the end of the show,
28:43we got to witness the entrepreneurs celebrate their big day.
28:47Do you, Pat, take Yvette to be your wife?
28:50Actually, I suppose I do.
28:52I do.
28:53Yvette?
28:56It's too late to change your mind now.
28:58I do.
29:00If you paused like that, I'd ram my flowers back her throat.
29:07Chips for everyone.
29:08Look at them queuing for their chips.
29:11We thought, this is madness.
29:13But, you know, today, it's not.
29:15It's kind of genius.
29:16I have his bedsheets, they're very good.
29:18I have Frances' bedsheets as well.
29:20High thread count.
29:21Yeah.
29:22I know.
29:23Look at us.
29:26In a thigh.
29:28I'm doused from head to toe in creams and skin shite.
29:32Levi and his mam, Theresa.
29:36You make a few new ones, have you?
29:38Your lotions and potions.
29:40I got them yesterday.
29:41Oh, you got them, did you? Aye.
29:43In your little strips and stuff. Yeah.
29:45You need your waxing strips, don't you?
29:47I do need my waxing strips.
29:48It's the most hair I've seen on you in all my life.
29:50I'd say I bore hair nearly on me legs.
29:52Yeah, on your head.
29:53It's the only place I ever have hair properly is on me head.
29:56This week, a brand-new drama on Virgin Media Play
30:00had us playing the guessing game.
30:02What is it?
30:03Coma.
30:04What's it about?
30:05Someone in a coma.
30:07Hey!
30:08Hands off of me!
30:09Yeah, do you want it?
30:10I need me hat back.
30:11I'll resent you if I pass it to you.
30:13Youths with their hoods up.
30:15What are you going to do about that?
30:17Hey!
30:18Leave him alone, you little bug-eyed shit.
30:20Do people actually do that?
30:22Leave him alone, he shouldn't...
30:24Shouldn't what?
30:25He's got something to say, big man.
30:27Yeah, that's where he'd give you a good old soccer punch
30:29right to the jaw for himself.
30:30So, I tell you about the time I walked by Youths there
30:32not that long ago.
30:33I was terrified of them.
30:34And I was like, fuck this, I'm going to walk straight through.
30:37They complimented my jacket.
30:38And they didn't try and rob you?
30:39No, no, I thought it was a trick, but it wasn't.
30:42We watched as main character Simon
30:45tried to get a good night's sleep.
30:48DOG BARKS
30:51Please get to it.
30:52Hey!
30:53What are you doing?
30:54That's your man, isn't it?
30:56Mm.
30:57He's after recognising him, is he?
30:59Run back into your house, quick, quick!
31:01Hey, what's your name? 32.
31:03I asked you a question.
31:05This is just going to be trouble.
31:08I'll come back every night until you tell me.
31:10Will you now? Well, I'll be waiting for you.
31:12A bucket of piss.
31:14I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?
31:16No respect for the elder anymore.
31:18No? No.
31:20That's why I wouldn't live in a city.
31:22We were engrossed as young lad Jordan
31:24returned for another friendly chat.
31:28Don't go outside. Do not go outside.
31:32How are you doing, 32?
31:36What do you want?
31:37He's psychopathic, that young fella.
31:39What is it that you think you're doing?
31:41He's a paedo.
31:42The paedo card.
31:44I'm in over 40, whose mate is a paedo.
31:47See, I should be the one calling the fence.
31:50Go on, I'd wait for him to lay the hand on him
31:52and I'd split him.
31:53You paedo.
31:54Just get away.
31:55Trying to touch me, 32?
31:57Is that what you like, is it, or what?
31:59Box him in the head.
32:01I'm too old for you.
32:02This is going to go.
32:03Cos you're just like your little girl.
32:06Yes!
32:07Dead fucking race.
32:09I said get on!
32:14Oh, my God!
32:15Oh, Lord, shit.
32:17Oh, he's dead!
32:22Ah, ah, ah, ah.
32:24Staying alive, staying alive.
32:26Come on, come on, come on.
32:30Oh, he's a fucking witness now.
32:32He's not breathing!
32:35He's not breathing!
32:36Oh, his neighbour's going to hang him out to dry.
32:38Mightn't, my blackmail.
32:40Hello there.
32:41Hi.
32:42Hi.
32:43I understand you're the one who found the young lad.
32:45This body, I was just lying in the middle of the road there.
32:49I'd admit it and I wouldn't fucking care.
32:52I'd say, yeah, I boxed him.
32:54I looked up and I saw someone running away
33:00but I didn't get a good look at him.
33:02God, do you know what my fear now would be?
33:04Someone else getting arrested and sent down.
33:07That'd be my dream!
33:10The show had us on edge
33:12as we saw Simon have a reluctant meeting with the young lad's father.
33:16You said you saw someone running off.
33:18Now, if you saw him again, you think you'd recognise him?
33:21Say no, you dipshit.
33:23Did you bring me here, Simon?
33:26Sorry, did Simon think he was going for a friendly drink, is it?
33:30Just look at him and tell me.
33:31Oh, no!
33:35I don't think so.
33:36You don't think so?
33:38I think I'll just go to the toilets then. I really should be going.
33:41This would be my cue now to just leave.
33:43Get away with not paying the bill.
33:49Oh, shit!
33:52No! He said it wasn't him!
33:54Your man's just looking for someone to hit.
33:56Fucking tuggery.
34:02Leave. Stop witnessing crimes.
34:04I don't know.
34:06Simon, look at him.
34:07No, it wasn't him!
34:09It was you!
34:10Now you know what's going to happen when they realise it was you.
34:13Later in the episode,
34:15a familiar figure gave us a glimpse into Simon's immediate future.
34:20Oh, oh, oh!
34:22The neighbour.
34:23Isn't that your man from Harry Potter?
34:26Yeah, it's about the attack of that lad.
34:31I saw who did it.
34:34God!
34:35Took him all that time to get down the stairs.
34:37If it happened to you...
34:38I'd call my two boys and I'd say,
34:40deal with it.
34:41Me and Alex arrive in black plastic bags and into the boot.
35:00In Dun Laoghaire.
35:02Now, I'll have my drawing club on Thursday,
35:04but that ends at half nine.
35:05Your drawing club?
35:06My drawing club.
35:07Friends, David and John.
35:10Last week, we had to draw lines.
35:12Just lines, straight lines.
35:14And at one point, we were asked not to actually draw the line
35:17and close our eyes and imagine what the sound
35:20of drawing an imaginary line would sound like.
35:26Look, it'll be great.
35:2712 weeks to go, I'll be fine.
35:29I'll be able to sketch you like Rose in Titanic.
35:32I have the tits.
35:36On Wednesday, we tuned in to MTV
35:39as they showed us this heartwarming show about young love.
35:44I'm Tammy Roman.
35:46I have been cheated on before.
35:48This is about cheaters.
35:49I love it.
35:51And I've made it my mission to help suspicious lovers
35:54catch their cheating partners in the act.
35:57Hook this into my fucking veins.
36:00This is Caught In The Act Unfaithful.
36:04Now you're talking.
36:05This is my fucking kind of jam, this.
36:08Bit of dirt.
36:09Hello there, Alex.
36:10Thanks, Tammy, for having me.
36:12I want to get to know you.
36:14That's the only way I'm going to be able to help you.
36:16Suspicious lover.
36:18I was always a suspicious lover.
36:20I didn't trust anyone.
36:21I was the same when I was younger.
36:22Yeah, I was fucking right as well.
36:24So what is the issue?
36:26Six months, she ain't been as loving and caring for me
36:29as she usually is.
36:31She's doing the talk.
36:32We watched as a suspicious Alex
36:34put his sweetheart, Laniece, under surveillance.
36:37You follow her to this establishment.
36:40Oh, Laniece, what are you up to?
36:43I'd love to do this.
36:44You need to be dating someone first.
36:46Work as a PI, a private investigator.
36:48Oh, my God, Jamaica caught cheating.
36:50So there you are.
36:52She ain't tell me.
36:53That's boo.
36:54That ain't me.
36:55That ain't my glasses.
36:56No, that's my twin right there.
36:58No!
37:00Boo!
37:02Shut the fuck up!
37:06That's my twin.
37:07That's my twin right there.
37:09That is the ultimate sin.
37:12I never done that to you.
37:14Oh, I wouldn't do that to you.
37:16I might have done it after you.
37:17A girl from Pucca would have offered you.
37:20Look, there goes my twin right there.
37:22What the fuck is going up there for?
37:27What the fuck?
37:28Oh!
37:29Why would you cheat on someone with her twin?
37:31I always think like that.
37:32Imagine you had, like, an identical twin.
37:34What do you always think about that?
37:36No, but you know what I mean.
37:37What?
37:38Why would anyone have an affair with the identical twin?
37:40And why have you told about that?
37:42The next time those two are together,
37:44you roll up in that moment and catch them in the act
37:47and confront both of them at the same time.
37:50This is what we call a takedown.
37:53This shit got me, man. It's fucked.
37:55I want to see this shit in 3D.
37:57Let's take him there.
37:58Oh, he chooses takedown?
37:59Yeah.
38:00Later, we were hooked,
38:01as Alex decided it was time to catch Lanise
38:04and his twin, Tyler, in the act.
38:06So he's just out on the town with her, no secrecy at all?
38:09I'd just run in, elbow swinging at her.
38:11Elbow swinging?
38:13What the...?
38:18She's never off that ass, is he?
38:19He's constantly grobbling her.
38:21What's going on, y'all?
38:24I thought you was better than this, Tyler.
38:26Surely you'd have to give him a box.
38:27Oh, yeah.
38:28Oh, yeah.
38:30I could have been told.
38:31I don't love you.
38:32Hey!
38:33I don't love you.
38:34Where's all these cameras out here?
38:35Here comes Tommy.
38:36It's like someone's mom turning up.
38:38What the fuck are you talking about?
38:42We go to the wrong pubs, Neil.
38:44There's no rows like this in my local.
38:48I love both of these men.
38:49They both say that they love me.
38:51I do.
38:52And I cannot help that I fell in love with twins.
38:54Sometimes you can't tell who you're falling in love with.
38:57This is not good, is it?
38:59It might be the only ever zero-hour ten show
39:02I've ever watched in my life.
39:04Look each other in the eye.
39:05Let's really get to the core of it.
39:07You don't want to lose your brother.
39:09I don't.
39:10I ain't going nowhere, bro.
39:12He has twins on his neck.
39:14I just noticed they both have that.
39:16Oh, my God.
39:17They both have twins tattooed on their neck.
39:19Mother of fucking God.
39:21I need to realise that at the end of the day,
39:24what makes him happy might not make me happy.
39:27Yeah.
39:28I want him to be happy.
39:29People are fussing, who's the oldest idiot?
39:31Have you ever told anyone that you're younger than me ten minutes?
39:34Did you ever tell anyone?
39:35Well, the only thing is, you might have been out first,
39:39but I was in first.
39:40No, the eggs split in two, you fucking idiot.
39:42Jesus Christ, this is basic biology, Neil.
39:47In Dundalk...
39:49I had a great day today.
39:50OK, good.
39:51I went to Tasco, and guess what they had?
39:54Eggs reduced to 74%.
39:56David and his wife, Sarah.
39:59Free-range eggs, extra large.
40:01This is the story.
40:02Yeah.
40:03I love going to Tasco and getting reduced items.
40:05It's like, I do it every day.
40:06I do it every day, you know that?
40:07But, Sarah, like, you can't say you had a great day
40:09and then it's just eggs were reduced in Tasco.
40:12It was.
40:13That's just mental, because you're losing the whole meaning
40:15of what great is.
40:16No, it was great.
40:17You can't say that's great.
40:18150%.
40:19Well, then, what's bad, then?
40:22Deer eggs.
40:23Oh, Jesus.
40:24On Monday, a startling documentary on RTE1
40:28gave us an insight into a growing Irish problem.
40:32With figures at an all-time high,
40:34on average 1,800 new cases of eating disorders
40:37are diagnosed across the country every year.
40:40What?
40:42Anorexia.
40:43My family.
40:45And me.
40:48I've never known anyone or been around anyone
40:51who's kind of suffered with it.
40:53I've an eating disorder.
40:55I know.
40:56In the doc, we followed one man's story.
40:59Sian, a 42-year-old dad of four,
41:02has been living with anorexia for over a decade.
41:05It's an angle you don't really hear much, isn't it?
41:08Like an older man suffering with it.
41:11Recently, Sian spent six weeks
41:13in a private inpatient clinic in Dublin.
41:16Now discharged, he's been making good progress
41:19in the early stages of his recovery.
41:21You just wouldn't expect it, do you?
41:23No, not a man.
41:24I would always kind of...
41:25It's on the rise.
41:26Yeah.
41:27In order for me to keep on at my healthy body weight,
41:32I need to have these certain things within my diet every day.
41:36You know, the stuff in the mind is, you know,
41:38those diseases are so much more difficult to address
41:41than something you can administer a drug to.
41:44I've once or twice tried to make myself sick
41:49when I know I'm out of overindulgence,
41:52and I would make myself sick, and it would come up.
41:55And I'd done that for about a week,
41:58and I remember sitting, saying to myself...
42:01This could go forward.
42:02Yeah, no, this has to stop. Yeah.
42:04Yeah, it kind of frightened me.
42:06I suppose I started to go out and do a bit of running,
42:10go out running once, twice a week.
42:12People start to notice, people start to make comments.
42:15Yeah, like you said, once someone notices,
42:17jeez, you're looking great, like... Yeah.
42:19Like, oh, I'll keep doing what I'm doing.
42:21Like, you are, so I'm going to stop saying it. Yeah.
42:23It became the most important thing.
42:25Nothing was getting in the way of me running.
42:27Meanwhile, the nutrition was getting less and less.
42:30I would run a marathon,
42:34and the whole way around that, 42km,
42:36I was like, I can't eat too much nutrition.
42:38It's calories.
42:39Oh, my Jesus!
42:42How the hell was he running, and he's not fuelling, like...
42:46Yes!
42:49I don't understand it, like...
42:51I don't understand it either, really.
42:53Particularly for a middle-aged man with four kids.
42:58You know, it's not body image, like, it's very sad.
43:01See, do you remember when I was on my weight-loss journey years ago,
43:04and I lost a lot of weight,
43:05it started to become a little bit of an addiction?
43:07It did, it did, and I could see that too.
43:09Like, I was weighing myself every single day, morning and night.
43:14Yeah. I was counting my calories.
43:16I even started going down the road, I used to take, like, laxative,
43:19if I ate something that I thought, like, if I had a burger.
43:22Yeah.
43:24He was just so unwell that, you know,
43:26I questioned whether he'd be with us in the future,
43:29like, genuinely questioned whether the kids would have a dad.
43:34Sorry.
43:35Still very raw for her.
43:38Your brain gets so starved that you think that everyone in your family
43:43and everyone would be better off without you.
43:45It's mad to think that, you know, as parents,
43:47like, you'd do anything for your children,
43:49and that something switches in the brain that you think to yourself,
43:52the best thing for my children is for me not to be around anymore.
43:55Later in the dock, we followed Sean's progress
43:58as he spent some time with his young family.
44:01Sean's got picnics now since I came out of hospital.
44:03You're eating the food.
44:04You're eating the food.
44:05That's the only annoying thing, that you're eating all the food now.
44:09He's a pretty family now.
44:10He has to be.
44:11It should be his priority, his family.
44:14I want more days like today, and I'll be fairly confident.
44:17I'm never going back.
44:19I think he's on the road to recovery, please, God.
44:22I'd say if it's like any other kind of recovery,
44:25you really, you know, keep an eye on it one day at a time type thing.
44:29I would just say to anyone, please, please,
44:32just find someone who you can speak to
44:35and do everything in your power to get help, to talk.
44:42Very brave of him to come out and be talking about it.
44:45Very brave for anyone that has, but just the stigma around it
44:49is that men can't be affected by that, but they can.
44:52It kind of upsets me that I let myself get like this.
44:56I gave in to certain pressures in life that...
45:03..I turned to food for comfort.
45:05Food was me hugger. I know.
45:07Food was me...
45:09I should have...
45:10I don't mind what he said, I don't mind what he did.
45:13Or someone says, you're fat, and you go, yeah, I am fat.
45:16So what? I like being fat.
45:18Yeah, and I certainly don't.
45:23I think you're amazing and I think you're gorgeous.
45:34You've really had a hard time with this, haven't you?
45:48Yeah.