The Goggleboxers share their thoughts on the week's TV highlights including, The 64th TV WEEK Logie Awards, Fake, Thank God You're Here and The Secret World of Snacks.
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TVTranscript
00:00What comes first, the yolk or the egg?
00:02The yolk or the egg?
00:04How about the egg or the chicken?
00:06How many of those bloody drinks have you had?
00:09Every evening in Australia.
00:11What's this about?
00:12OK, let me catch you up.
00:13TV reaches over 12 million of us.
00:16You say that every season.
00:18Hey, I don't see the problem there.
00:19But have you ever wondered what other people are watching?
00:22This show is so good.
00:24That's common sense.
00:26Find out what people thought about what was on
00:28in the last seven days.
00:30I love this show.
00:31Just relax, it's just a show.
00:33Here's great Australian television.
00:36This week, The Voice was back with new judges.
00:39This is a whole new demographic they've just unlocked.
00:41Rock and roll!
00:43Thank God You're Here also made a happy return.
00:46Oh, I'm so glad you're back.
00:48This is like the Olympics for comedians, I think.
00:51And Ray Martin got us thinking about our last goodbye.
00:54When Ray Martin is going around talking to people
00:57about how they want to end up after they die.
00:59You know, it's quite beautiful
01:01because he wants to go out the way he wants to go out.
01:09Celia was counting the other day and we went,
01:11what's after 15?
01:1216. What's after 16?
01:1417. I was like, oh, my God, are you a genius?
01:16I was like, what's after 17?
01:18She goes, Saturday.
01:19And I was like, good, not a genius.
01:23Monday on Seven.
01:24Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise.
01:27The Voice!
01:29It's back.
01:30You've never seen The Voice.
01:32This is a season like no other.
01:35Sonya's on everything on Channel 7.
01:36They must just put her on ice or something,
01:38just wheel her out.
01:39And it starts right now.
01:41Drop in, they changed it up somehow.
01:43Here we go. What's different?
01:44Well, joining returning judge Guy Sebastian.
01:47I love Guy.
01:48Are three new judges.
01:49Pate Mill Highkey.
01:50And Leanne Rimes.
01:53Who's Leanne Rimes?
01:54She sings my favourite song ever.
01:56The youngest Grammy winner in history.
01:59How do I live without you?
02:02It's a funeral song of mine.
02:04International rock icon.
02:06Adam Lambert.
02:07And the only man who could fool Freddie Mercury's shoes.
02:10What, and he couldn't afford a shirt or a singlet?
02:12Just get to the singing.
02:13What are we flapping about for?
02:15Yeah, good idea.
02:16First up to face the blind audition.
02:18The chairs are back.
02:19Is Shannon.
02:20She's pretty.
02:21All that I have is all that you've given me.
02:26Oh, wow.
02:27And Guy's just doing the old chook.
02:29Oh, you better stand.
02:33Before.
02:34You better stand.
02:36Turn, slap it.
02:38Four chair turn around.
02:40Come on.
02:40You better stand.
02:43Yes.
02:44They all did it.
02:47Beautiful voice.
02:48Who's she going to choose now?
02:49It would be such a treat to work with any of you.
02:52I'm going Guy Sebastian.
02:54For skills.
02:55Leanne Rimes.
02:58Guy.
02:59Guy.
03:00Can I go out really early on this?
03:02Yeah.
03:03Winner.
03:04Next to hit the stage is young dad, Manawa.
03:07You ready for this?
03:08Backstory.
03:09After I put my babies to bed, I get ready to go to my job.
03:14Oh, he's a doctor.
03:15At a pig packing company.
03:17Oh.
03:18Pig packing.
03:20I can put my ear pods in and sing pretty much
03:23for my whole shift.
03:24And the chillers are nice and loud so no one can hear me.
03:27Can he sing, though?
03:28Of course he can sing.
03:29He had a backstory.
03:30The song I'm singing is How Do I Live by Leanne Rimes.
03:33Oh, my god.
03:35You never sing a judges song.
03:37Oh.
03:38Bold choice.
03:38Really bold choice.
03:43How do I live?
03:47Hold on, hold on.
03:48We're going to get there.
03:49How do I live?
03:53I don't think he's very good, Keg.
03:54The dead pig should have told him
03:55that he's not a good singer.
03:56At least he's giving it a crack.
03:59No, is no one going to turn?
04:01Oh, even Leanne's not turning around.
04:03Poor guy.
04:04Turn, turn.
04:07Oh, she didn't do it.
04:08Oh, backstory, no turn.
04:12That was really beautiful.
04:13Bullshit.
04:15If it was beautiful, you would have pressed it.
04:16I think maybe if I get up here with you.
04:18We're going to sing together.
04:20I'm going to show you how it's done.
04:21How do I live without you?
04:24Oh, she's fabulous.
04:26How do I live without you?
04:28Not great.
04:29It's like a Ferrari going against a Toyota.
04:33I mean, that's pretty special, though, isn't it?
04:34Yeah, all right, all right, all right.
04:36Let's hear the next voice.
04:38Morning, folks.
04:39It's a beautiful day on the way, 28 degrees.
04:42Is this still a voice, or is this Bondi respite?
04:44This is Tessa McKenna.
04:46Reporting for The Voice.
04:47Bleached blonde tips and great teeth.
04:49Is anyone getting Billy Idol vibes here?
04:52Billy Idol vibes, I told you.
04:56In the midnight hour, she cries ma, ma, ma.
05:02Such a dad song, isn't it?
05:04This is a whole new demographic they've just unlocked.
05:06Rock and roll.
05:07This is so Matty D.
05:08In the midnight hour, she cries ma, ma, ma.
05:15I wouldn't turn for him.
05:16She's not gonna press.
05:17Adam might.
05:18Don't be desperate, Adam.
05:20No.
05:21Lambert turned?
05:23Does Adam Lambert regret turning?
05:26He's looking, can I turn this back?
05:28I couldn't help it.
05:29Sorry, Lambert, but that's a burner.
05:31Next time on The Voice.
05:34I'm so glad The Voice is back.
05:35Yeah.
05:36The blinds are the best part of this show, I reckon.
05:38Watch it again next week, no problem.
05:45In Sydney, Mia's still talking about the holiday
05:48she took with her grandmother.
05:50So how were the Hawaiian beaches?
05:53Oh, beautiful.
05:54Beautiful enough it got grown in the water.
05:56My mother had a little diamond earring still in,
05:58got knocked over by a two-foot-nothing
06:00waving ankle-deep water, folded like a camping chair.
06:03And that was the end of the swimming.
06:06On Sunday, we tuned in to Channel 6
06:08to find out what the family was up to.
06:12On Sunday, we tuned in to Channel 7
06:14for TV's Night of Nights.
06:16The Logies are on, big boy.
06:18It's Logie's night.
06:20And for the second year running,
06:22the awards were hosted by...
06:23Sam Payne.
06:24I love Sam Payne.
06:26Australia's answer to Ricky Gervais.
06:28He just rips into everyone.
06:30Larry Emden nominated for gold, and it's about time.
06:33Yay!
06:34I love Larry.
06:35For over 30 years in television,
06:36as host of The Chase and The Morning Show,
06:38Larry has forged an incredible connection
06:40with viewers trapped in nursing homes
06:42or hospital waiting rooms.
06:44LAUGHTER
06:45I love that he doesn't care who's in the room.
06:47No.
06:48Like, he's just given it to them.
06:49Then the marathon evening of awards was underway.
06:52Kitty Flanagan!
06:54Love, love.
06:55Love her.
06:56Amazing.
06:57Well done.
06:58The Voice Australia.
06:59Woo-hoo!
07:01I'm OK with that.
07:02It was celebrations all round
07:04for Australia's most popular new talent.
07:06Felix Cameron!
07:08Yay!
07:10He was good in that show.
07:11He was so good.
07:12The voice that swallowed the universe.
07:14I'd like to thank my friends, family,
07:16my brother and my sister, and my mum and dad.
07:19Aw!
07:22And I'd like to thank my drum tour, Gnarnia Townsend.
07:25Couldn't have done it without you.
07:27I'm so sorry.
07:28Oh, my God!
07:30Aw, kid.
07:31Thank you, everyone.
07:33Well done.
07:34Well done.
07:35Then it was the award no-one could get their head around.
07:38We are mildly confused to be presenting
07:40the Logie for Best Structured Reality program.
07:42What is structured reality?
07:44If you are playing with Lego, that is competition reality.
07:48OK.
07:49It is making up titles for awards now.
07:51You throw a glass of wine in the face of someone
07:54because they were flirting with the person you married
07:56literally the first time you ever laid eyes on them.
07:58Yeah, no, that's just a cry for help.
08:00LAUGHTER
08:01There are a couple of good shows in this category, though.
08:04I love that show.
08:06Aw, yeah.
08:09I love that show too.
08:11It deserves to be in a better category.
08:15Should I have voted?
08:16Yeah, probably.
08:17And the Logie goes to...
08:19Here we go.
08:20Oh, my God, so excited.
08:21Come on, come on, come on.
08:22Gogglebox Australia.
08:24Yeah!
08:25CHEERING
08:27Go, Gogglebox! Go, Gogglebox!
08:30All we did was watch TV
08:32and well-deserved.
08:34More awards followed as the night wore on.
08:36I'm so tired.
08:38Until finally, just before midnight,
08:41it was time for the big one.
08:43I just want to find out the Gold Logie winner and get to bed.
08:46They should do this one at the start.
08:48The Gold Logie goes to...
08:51Andy Lee, hands down.
08:53Larry Emder Price is right.
08:54Yeah, Tony!
08:56If he wins, he'll be the first blackfella.
08:58Larry Emder.
08:59Oh, really?
09:01That's a legacy award.
09:02He's been on TV since we first came to Australia.
09:05Yeah.
09:06I was so convinced that I wasn't going to win this
09:08that I said I would have all the nominees' initials
09:11tattooed on my arse live tomorrow morning.
09:13LAUGHTER
09:15Larry Emder.
09:17CHEERING
09:18Well done, Larry.
09:19Well, that's it, mate.
09:21Is it Tuesday? I feel like I've missed work.
09:24MUSIC
09:32In Melbourne, Keith's looking forward to the footy finals.
09:36Who's playing tonight?
09:37Essendon and Sydney.
09:39I want Sydney to win.
09:40If Essendon win, they go ahead of us.
09:42It's not mathematical where we can make it.
09:44Whether it's not what?
09:45It's not mathematical, mathematical.
09:48Mathematical.
09:50When they can't logically make it.
09:55Mathematically speaking.
09:57LAUGHTER
10:00Sunday night on Nine.
10:02The block!
10:03God, I'm so excited for this season.
10:05Better than a kick in the nuts.
10:06Phew!
10:07A bathroom in week one straight out of the block.
10:10It's bathroom week!
10:12Let's rip in.
10:14Yeah, why not?
10:15So let's find out what's happening over in House 5.
10:18We've got electricians, we've got chippies,
10:20we've got tilers, we've got plumbers.
10:22Oh, he's doing plumbing cos that's right, he's a plumber.
10:24They're not real plumbers, can't see any of their arse.
10:27Next door in House 4,
10:28Carly is painting something that isn't completely black.
10:32Now this is a girl that wants black for everything.
10:35She's creating an original artwork to hang in her bathroom.
10:38Oh!
10:39Sorry, who puts an artwork in their bathroom on a canvas?
10:42I've done that before, you know the paint by numbers?
10:44Yeah.
10:45I did one of those and it hangs up in my bathroom at home.
10:47Yeah, cos people look at it and think,
10:48I want to poo faster, so I don't need to look at that.
10:50Time to check in with House 3.
10:52Victorian plumber Rikki is holding down the fort.
10:55While his team-mate Hayden is still off-site
10:57with his newborn baby.
10:58Congrats on the baby!
11:00How's the wife?
11:01Just lets him go, like, two days after the birth.
11:03Yeah, well, she had their first child.
11:05That guy should be in sales.
11:06Right-o, let's just get to judging.
11:08This is the first reveal of the season, right?
11:10Alright, let's see these bathrooms.
11:12Now we're talking.
11:14Everything I love...
11:15Hot, hot, love, love, love.
11:17Mum, would you love a bathroom like that?
11:19Hotty but toddy.
11:20That's tack.
11:21Vanity, shower, toilet.
11:23There's too much happening.
11:24Why have you got the dark towels with the light stuff?
11:26And then you've got the gold tabs with the chocolate brown handles.
11:29What's happening?
11:30I still want to see more drama.
11:31I really want...
11:32What?
11:33This is the block, Shana.
11:34It's full of drama.
11:35Sophistication can be personality.
11:39But personality can be sophisticated.
11:41Sophisticated?
11:42You're talking about the block.
11:44Classy with personality.
11:46I would say that is classy with personality.
11:48It's classy in the tiling,
11:49the personality is in the fugly towels.
11:51I don't want to come to Phillip Island and be in Melbourne.
11:53Oh, whack!
11:54And they're getting the excitement.
11:55So boring.
11:56And they're getting the excitement.
11:57The judges are going for it.
11:58Are you sensing a bit of tension?
12:00Darren's just smiling awkwardly because Mum and Dad are fighting.
12:02Oh, horns are going to lock on this one.
12:04Oh, come on, people.
12:05We've got more bathrooms to look at.
12:07Okay, okay.
12:08Let's take a look at house four then.
12:10Kylie and Pratt.
12:11Oh, the black toot.
12:13Uh-huh.
12:14Black magic woman.
12:16Whoa!
12:18It's so beautiful.
12:20It's so dark.
12:22I don't like it.
12:24It's a lot.
12:26Who's she selling to, Dracula?
12:28They need to bank on a Collingwood supporter to buy this house.
12:31Because it's utterly tasteless.
12:33Leave Collingwood out of this!
12:34The first impact to me goes,
12:36poor, you have grabbed me.
12:38Yeah, you've grabbed me, but it feels like a salt.
12:40What I do like in here is the dark palette.
12:43This feels almost like a nightclub bathroom.
12:45Nightclub?
12:46Yeah, very nightclub.
12:47Mid-2010s nightclub vibe.
12:49We know what a nightclub bathroom looks like.
12:51In 2010.
12:52In 2010.
12:53This is as far removed from the beach as you could get.
12:57That's definitely not a holiday house.
12:59That's a brothel.
13:03Not that I've been in one,
13:04but like what I'd imagine a brothel to look like.
13:07Possibly the biggest disaster we've seen in 20 seasons.
13:11Oh!
13:12My God!
13:14Absolute massive statements.
13:17It's alright, it's week one.
13:19There's always a tin of white paint that can fix up any error.
13:22We need a brothel on Phillip Island.
13:24This is it.
13:26Finally, it was house five.
13:28Christian and Mimi.
13:29Here we go.
13:30Party time.
13:35That is amazing.
13:36It is lovely.
13:37Yeah, I don't mind it.
13:38But where's the shelf near the bath?
13:40Where are you putting things?
13:41What's that ugly stool?
13:42Why are the two plants next to each other,
13:43but we've got the smaller one behind the bigger one.
13:45You can't even see it from the doorway.
13:46The towel rack's not in a convenient spot.
13:48How do you wipe your eyes when you're in the shower?
13:50I'm not here for it.
13:51When did you do interior design?
13:53I just am good at judging.
13:54And the fact we've got artwork.
13:56Look at that.
13:57What is that?
13:58Is that artwork?
13:59I think it enhances it.
14:00What?
14:01No!
14:02The only thing you should have in your bathroom
14:03are the times tables on the back of your toilet door.
14:05Nine times nine.
14:06Eighty-one.
14:07I actually really love the watery tiles.
14:10Feels like I'm at the Aquatic Centre in Parramatta.
14:13What is happening?
14:14Settle down.
14:15Let's just see who won, hey?
14:17The winner of week one on the block.
14:20Who do you reckon?
14:21Quick, who do you reckon?
14:22Christian and Mimi.
14:23Christian and Mimi.
14:24Christian and Mimi.
14:25Black bathroom.
14:26It's Christian and Mimi!
14:28What?
14:29Mate, I told ya.
14:31Queeness won week one on the block.
14:34That's almost as bad as Ray Gunn's performance at the Olympics.
14:41Well, another interesting episode.
14:43They promised more drama and they're delivering.
14:46This is a good season.
14:47No, it's still shit.
15:01I went to Palm Island earlier this week for work,
15:03but on the flight I said to my colleague who was sitting on the window,
15:05I said, can you look out the window for Dugong
15:07and if you see Dugong take photos for me?
15:09And she was like, oh, is Dugong your totem too?
15:12And I said, oh no,
15:13I just want to see what my shape looks like in the water.
15:17Wednesday night on Ten, an old favourite returned to our screens.
15:21That acoustic guitar really means one thing.
15:25Yes, thank God you're here!
15:28Thank God it's back on.
15:29Please welcome your host, Celia Coppola!
15:34Celia!
15:36Not everyone can pull off a hot pink suit, but she can.
15:38This is the show where we send four comedians through a blue door.
15:41They don't know what they're doing.
15:42And they must bullshit their way through for our amusement.
15:46This is like the Olympics for comedians, I think.
15:48Who have we got?
15:49Flexing their improv muscles tonight are Frankie McNair, Sam Pang, Hamish Blake.
15:55Hamish Blake is on.
15:56Hamish Blake is like the OG thank God you're here guy.
16:00He's the best at it.
16:01Thank God you're here, Hamish.
16:03And rounding off tonight's guests...
16:05Anne Edmonds!
16:07She's the one from...
16:08Have you been paying attention?
16:09She just thinks on her feet really well.
16:11What is she wearing?
16:13I don't know, but this era, I was hot in this era.
16:15She's going to be a doctor, she's going to be a nanny.
16:17Mary Poppins?
16:20Thank God you're here!
16:22Yay!
16:23We've been expecting you all morning.
16:25I'm so sorry, I ran over Mary Poppins.
16:30And stole her clothes?
16:31Mr Jarvis, the new nanny has arrived.
16:34Ah, she's a nanny.
16:35Two hours late.
16:37I do apologise, I have a drinking problem.
16:42Same.
16:43That will be Lord Somerton.
16:45Don't forget to give him a formal greeting.
16:48What's a formal greeting?
16:49Dr Somerton, Your Majesty.
16:57Please, please.
16:58I don't know how no-one else laughs.
17:00Oh, it's amazing.
17:01It says here that you require every Saturday night off.
17:04What do you want on Saturday nights?
17:07LAUGHTER
17:09I like the nightlife.
17:11I like to boogie.
17:13I'm out there, baby!
17:15She's hilarious.
17:16She's properly unhinged, eh?
17:18What are your thoughts on spanking?
17:20LAUGHTER
17:23I love it!
17:25LAUGHTER
17:27Oh, my God.
17:29Anne's having fun with it.
17:31She's really found her groove now, hey?
17:34Oh, no, not the kids as well.
17:37May I introduce you to Miss Phillips, your new nanny?
17:40Or as she would prefer you call her...
17:43Big Mama!
17:45LAUGHTER
17:47Big Mama.
17:48Why do we have to have a nanny?
17:50Shut up!
17:51LAUGHTER
17:53That's me at school.
17:55She smashed it.
17:57Oh, my face is hurting.
17:59Anne's got this in the bag tonight.
18:01But we still have a Thank God You're Here veteran
18:04to go through the blue door.
18:06Hamish Blake!
18:08We love you, Hamish!
18:10Hamish! Hamish!
18:12Hamish, is that you?
18:14What is that?
18:15What's he good on?
18:16I'm dressed as my dad, basically.
18:18Climb for the kids.
18:19We've got climb for the kids.
18:20He's going to be a camp teacher for a mountain climbing class.
18:23I'm pretty sure you know what to do.
18:24This is the door?
18:25This is it. Good luck.
18:26Let's go, Hamish. Show us how it's done.
18:28This is the big ticket.
18:30There we go. That's more like it.
18:32They're ready to hear our talk. Come on.
18:34More kids.
18:35Oh, this would be so hard with a bunch of kids there
18:38because it limits what you can say.
18:40Paul and I decided to take on a challenge.
18:42Climb Mount Everest.
18:44We started training about a year ago
18:46and every morning we'd go running
18:48and every evening, what would the two of us do together?
18:54We would certainly, um...
18:57Oh, my God.
18:59The children.
19:00He's struggling.
19:02We would ascend a summit.
19:06There were peaks involved, there were climaxes.
19:12Those kids have no idea what he's talking about.
19:15You start at base camp, um, and that, uh...
19:20He's gone blank.
19:21He's lost it.
19:22And then you enter...
19:26Yes, the fun zone.
19:30What is going on?
19:32And it's very, very important to have two things.
19:35Oxygen and a safe word.
19:40This was a tough one, but Anne Edmonds was amazing.
19:43Anne Edmonds wins.
19:44No, he was so good. He was easily the best.
19:47Well, the final decision is down to the celebrity guest judge.
19:51Adam Hills. Adam!
19:53Who wins?
19:54You were all amazing and I love watching this
19:56and I hate having to decide that there's a winner,
19:58you just ask everyone around me.
20:00Amish Blake.
20:01Amish!
20:02Anne, for sure.
20:03Go, Anne, go!
20:04OK, we're not all winners here. Pick one.
20:06The winner is Anne Edmonds!
20:08Yay!
20:10Yeah, she nailed it.
20:12Thank you, goodnight!
20:14Oh, God.
20:15That was funny.
20:16Oh, I'm so glad you're back.
20:18Thank God you're here.
20:20Can you say that every time I walk in the door now?
20:22No.
20:23OK.
20:24I think she's left.
20:29You know what I've seen a lot lately?
20:32What?
20:33The leg kink in photos.
20:35Kinks?
20:36The kink of the leg.
20:37I think they do, like, a duck leg and then they throw the butt
20:41and then it makes them look like an hourglass.
20:43Like, do I look skinnier?
20:44No, you look like you've had, like, eight knee operations.
20:48Sissy, look!
20:49Look!
20:50What is that?
20:51This week on...
20:52What is that?
20:53What is that?
20:54What is that?
20:55What is that?
20:56What is that?
20:57This week on Netflix.
20:59Doggy!
21:00That's right.
21:01And it's a doco on how smart they are.
21:05Inside the mind of a dog, dogs are the best.
21:08Dogs have found their way into every corner of our lives.
21:12Oh, yuck, not on the mouth.
21:13If they lick their balls, you do not let them lick your face.
21:15I love doggy kisses.
21:17And dogs are more than just companions.
21:20They can be trained as service dogs for people with disabilities.
21:24What people view as a great dog today
21:27is what service dogs have been bred and raised
21:30and trained to be for a century.
21:32It's pretty amazing how they can teach dogs to be service dogs.
21:36My name is Vanessa Woods.
21:37Oh, again, don't let them lick your face!
21:39And I run the Duke Puppy Kindergarten.
21:42I would love that job.
21:43We play these sort of fun cognitive games
21:45to predict who is most likely to make it as a service dog.
21:49Oh!
21:50Some dogs immediately focus on trying to get food out of a container.
21:55How would you get that out if you're a dog?
21:57You don't have opposable thumbs.
21:59I can't even open those.
22:00Some dogs, they realize, I can't get that thing open,
22:03and they immediately look up to the person
22:05and they start trying to communicate.
22:07Hey, get this for me. Look, I'm cute.
22:09That's what Yoshi does.
22:10Those dogs tend to be dogs
22:11that are going to do really, really well for service.
22:13There you go. How does he service you?
22:15Cuddles.
22:16Candidates undergo six months of rigorous training.
22:19Can't even teach a man to shut a dishwasher.
22:21Mummy's still trying to train me to do that.
22:23We start training a dog in over 40 different commands.
22:27Oh, wow.
22:28Come on, get it. Yeah.
22:30Wow!
22:31How do you train them to do that?
22:33Patience.
22:34Yeah!
22:35Repetition.
22:36That's quite amazing.
22:37And after the dogs have done their training...
22:39They're ready to move on to the final stage,
22:41building a bond with someone in need.
22:43So this is now where they match the trained dogs
22:46to the person based on their disability.
22:48Exactly.
22:49People like Jasmine.
22:54This is my mom and dad.
22:55So Jasmine, actually, when she was born,
22:57we had complications from day one.
23:00She has trouble with talking.
23:02She needs a dog.
23:03It is one of those imperatives for her life.
23:05Who's she going to get?
23:06And Jasmine, you've been matched with Bonus.
23:09Bonus!
23:10Hi, Bonus.
23:13Oh, look.
23:14Beautiful.
23:16In order for Bonus to go home with Jasmine,
23:18they need to build a bond by graduation.
23:21Come on, you want that bond straight away.
23:23Look him in the eye there.
23:25Yes.
23:26For us to communicate to the dog,
23:27we've got to learn how to talk dog.
23:29How do you talk dog?
23:36That sounds like a T-Rex.
23:38Dogs seem to bark in a more emotional way,
23:41potentially to recruit human attention.
23:43Yeah, true.
23:44The dog talks to me all the time.
23:48A bark is not just a bark.
23:50A change in the tone can make a difference.
23:52Repetition at a high pitch without pausing,
23:55it's generally a state of distress.
23:57That is me on a Monday morning.
23:58And we learn barking isn't the only way
24:01to communicate with your human.
24:03A loose tail tends to indicate more happiness.
24:06It's usually the other way around.
24:07When it's floppy, you're not as happy
24:08as when it's a bit stiffer and harder.
24:10The tail tucked or wagging low.
24:12Are you sure that's the tail?
24:14It indicates to me that there's some stress.
24:16Tighten your butt right now,
24:17and then ask yourself how you feel.
24:19Uncomfortable.
24:20Crampy.
24:21It's a bit of a hard ask, but I'll try.
24:23The helicopter tail usually comes with a good,
24:25big butt wiggle.
24:26It'd be good if humans had tail wag.
24:28Shake what your mama gave you.
24:29That means I'm excited.
24:30Shake what your mama gave you.
24:31Jasmine and her family have spent
24:33the past two weeks with Bonus.
24:35It's time for them to take the final test
24:37and prove they've built a bond.
24:39I'm really nervous.
24:40They're going to smash it.
24:41One of the challenging final exam tests
24:43is to walk the dog through an obstacle course.
24:46Time to prove their bond.
24:48Bonus, get.
24:49There it is.
24:50Yes.
24:51Nice.
24:52Bonus.
24:53He's wagging his tail.
24:54That's a good sign.
24:55Bonus, jump.
24:56Bonus.
24:57Ah, that's cool.
24:59Tug.
25:00Come on.
25:01Oh, come on, dude.
25:02Tug.
25:03Come on.
25:04Tug.
25:05Yeah.
25:06There you go, Jaz.
25:07Nice, Jaz.
25:08Yay.
25:09Yay, Bonus.
25:10Go, Bonus.
25:11Push.
25:12Good boy.
25:13Good boy.
25:15Jaz, take a bow.
25:17Aw, I think they did well.
25:19Well done, Bonus.
25:20Oh, kissy.
25:21Oh, no, no, no.
25:22There's a bond right there.
25:23Nothing seals the bond like a tongue kiss.
25:25Bonus has passed.
25:27Hooray.
25:28I love Bonus.
25:29Aw.
25:31Nice.
25:32I'm very happy for her.
25:34Oh, I love that.
25:36Jaz and Bonus are going to make a great team.
25:39Yeah.
25:40Oh, I just love dogs.
25:41We do not deserve those canines.
25:43We do not, we do not, we do not.
25:57In Melbourne, Leigh has just got back from the doctor.
26:00She goes, can you feel this?
26:02I said, not really.
26:03She goes, your feet are numb.
26:04I said, yeah, they're always numb.
26:06But that's what I was saying about my little toes.
26:09So what happens as you get older, you can't feel your bloody feet?
26:12Hope it doesn't move up.
26:14This week on Netflix, we caught a load of this.
26:18Too Hot to Handle is back.
26:21Too Hot to Handle, I love this show.
26:23The show where we have more bums than brain cells.
26:26Yes.
26:27Prepare for a killer Caribbean crib and a parade of perfect hands.
26:32We're going to see a lot of cheese grater apps.
26:34Oh.
26:35Holy moly.
26:36Oh, my God.
26:37A lot of boobs that don't move.
26:39Oh, hello.
26:40Wow.
26:41Jesus.
26:42Even Yoshi's looking at that.
26:43Well, actually, looking is all these contestants can do.
26:47Ah!
26:48Because the twist in the show is...
26:49They can't do anything sexual.
26:51Yeah.
26:52And if they do, they lose prize money.
26:54You've got all this sexual tension and you can't do anything about it.
26:57And to make sure the rules aren't broken, we've got...
27:01Lana.
27:02Who's Lana?
27:03She's a talking cone.
27:05OK.
27:06Who pops up at inappropriate times
27:08to fine or banish contestants from the show.
27:11It's just like a horny big brother, right?
27:13Yes.
27:14Yeah, pretty much.
27:15So let's see if these hot people can refrain from touching each other.
27:20Who have we got here?
27:21Brie with an eye.
27:22Shit.
27:23Black Queen.
27:27Wow.
27:28She might turn me straight.
27:29Hold up.
27:30Delicious eye candy incoming.
27:32OK.
27:33Charlie.
27:34Oh, he might be kind of nice.
27:36In my preparation for Tools of Handle, I've completely stopped wanking.
27:40What?
27:41I don't need to know that.
27:42I wouldn't say I have a type.
27:44Ginger, if you're hot.
27:45Bruna, if you're hot.
27:46Blonde, if you're hot.
27:47Turns out he does have a type.
27:48Hot.
27:49Yeah.
27:52What's the sound?
27:53That's Lana.
27:54Why is she red?
27:55Oh, hang on a second.
27:56That's not Lana.
27:57I'm bad Lana.
27:59What does that mean?
28:00No rules, I betcha.
28:02Yes.
28:03When I'm in charge, kissing.
28:06Yes.
28:07Self-gratification.
28:08Yes.
28:09Even sex.
28:11Yeah, bad Lana.
28:12I will not incur any fine.
28:15Ah.
28:16Bad Lana's into sex.
28:19Fine.
28:20They're gonna fuck.
28:21You're so good.
28:23Too hot just got way hotter.
28:26Let it rip.
28:27But what about if you're halfway through the act and then Lana changes to good Lana?
28:31Bad luck.
28:32Oh.
28:33Bad Lana's in charge.
28:34Go.
28:35What are you gonna wear?
28:36What I'm wearing now.
28:37Do you not like it?
28:38Take it off.
28:40She's forward.
28:42Do it.
28:43Take it off.
28:46That did not take long.
28:55Okay.
28:56This is awkward.
28:57Oh, it's gonna get more awkward.
28:59Let's check in with Charlie.
29:01What are you saying?
29:02I do not know what what you're saying means yet.
29:04What?
29:05Huh?
29:06You gotta learn what what you're saying means.
29:07What are you saying?
29:08What are you saying?
29:09What is he saying?
29:10What are you saying?
29:11What?
29:12What?
29:13What's he saying?
29:15I've got one basic strategy that works for every girl.
29:18This.
29:19Oh, really?
29:20He thinks that's his strength.
29:21He can't even speak normally.
29:24Is he biting his lip?
29:26Bite your lip?
29:27How sexy does this look?
29:32Ready?
29:34Oh, my God.
29:36That's what the kids are doing nowadays.
29:37They're walking in the club.
29:38They're like, you.
29:40You're hot.
29:41Charlie's going for girl number two.
29:44He's doing the bite lip again.
29:45No.
29:46He's doing the finger bite.
29:52She's sexy.
29:54What?
29:55Wow.
29:56Sorry, Charlie's not hot enough to behave the way he is behaving.
29:58I don't know why these mid-men keep thinking they're hot.
30:01The third girl?
30:02What is going on?
30:03He's in trouble once good Lana takes over.
30:05Yeah, because he'll be screwed.
30:07Or rather, he won't be.
30:09But with bad Lana still in control,
30:11the contestants are ready for tonight's party.
30:14What is this?
30:16This is 12-year-old boys watching this right now on Netflix
30:18thinking I've hit the jackpot.
30:21So, when is good Lana the boss and when's bad Lana the boss?
30:24I'm about to resume control.
30:27No.
30:29No, no, no, no, no.
30:31The party's over.
30:32There will be no kissing.
30:34No kissing?
30:35No heavy petting.
30:36No heavy petting?
30:37And no sex.
30:38Oh, this is depressing.
30:39It is depressing.
30:40Why are we even watching this for?
30:41And it's not over yet.
30:43Oh, my God.
30:44Oh, my God.
30:45Oh, my God.
30:46Oh, my God.
30:47Oh, my God.
30:48Oh, my God.
30:50And it gets worse,
30:51because the two naughtiest contestants so far...
30:54They will be banished...
30:56Ohh!
30:57The Horneiest gets booted off the island.
31:00And in a twist no-one saw coming,
31:03it's Charlie and Bree.
31:06See you later.
31:07Hope you had a good 12 hours on the show.
31:11Oh, my gosh, I love this show!
31:13Hotter, steamier and more twists and turns.
31:16See, it doesn't pay to be the horniest all the time, though.
31:20It comes in handy, but it doesn't pay you all the time.
31:36Got any fun plans for the weekend?
31:37My whole weekend is spent creating my Book Week costume for Book Week next week.
31:41What are you going as? A giant lamington.
31:43OK. Made a tizzy headband that will double for Melbourne carp.
31:46It's got four lamingtons on it.
31:48I painted some cubes and I put the coconut over it.
31:51My issue is, how do you set the coconut?
31:54Cos it looked like I had dandruff for days. Dandruff? Yeah.
31:59That's that Asha... Asha... Asha Kitty.
32:02She's in everything.
32:03And now she's on Paramount Plus in the disturbing new drama series.
32:08Fake. Oh, Jarrod, it's a show about you.
32:10The show is based on the author's actual real experience.
32:13I've heard so much about this show. I know, but I think it'll make me too anxious.
32:17The story starts when Birdie goes on a first date with a man called Joe.
32:22Let's see how dodgy he gets.
32:24Oh. Eyes.
32:27Eww! That would turn me off wanting to have a drink with this man.
32:31You're a farmer? Run a small herd of dorpers.
32:34I've fattened them up for the Chinese market.
32:36What are dorpers? It's South African sheep.
32:38Why don't you just say sheep, mate?
32:42This is awkward.
32:47That's very forward for a first date.
32:49Maybe she feels real awkward, so he's just trying to, like, get a little bit of...
32:53No, no, no. ...contact a little bit.
32:55Oh, I better go anyway. Oh, no, you've just got here.
32:59I've got an early start.
33:00Is that how you leave when you're not interested?
33:02Rip cord. Gone.
33:04Well, not if Birdie's mother has anything to do with it.
33:07I think, at this point, you need to be realistic about what's still out there.
33:13Oh. She's being told she needs to lower her standards?
33:16Just find something to like about him.
33:19Oh! There he is.
33:22So Birdie gives Joe a second chance.
33:25Is this OK?
33:26Stop grabbing her fricking hands, dude.
33:29Stop that!
33:32Imagine them being rougher, working on the land.
33:34How could you be working on a farm with soft hands?
33:37I wear gloves when I work with a sheep.
33:39Of course you do. He's lying.
33:42No farmer worth their salt wears gloves when they're working with sheep.
33:46Then, after their second date...
33:48I learned a new word.
33:50It follows good.
33:52Oh, my God, he said, I'm falling in love with you.
33:55He's used that line before, 100%.
33:57See, she's getting sucked in now, Faye.
33:59So, on their next date...
34:01Maybe you should see if there's anything to it.
34:04The fly is in the web.
34:07Oh, God, you idiot.
34:09Dream.
34:11I just feel sad for her.
34:12And a bit nervous.
34:15I was just thinking about what you said about my hands being soft.
34:19It's the lanolin in the wool.
34:21Oh! What? I thought you said you wore gloves.
34:24Oh. Oh!
34:27You can't wear gloves working with sheep.
34:29No!
34:32Creepiest show I've ever watched. Oh, Jesus.
34:34We've got to keep watching. Oh, do we?
34:36So, we did.
34:39Episode two opens with Birdie planning her next romantic getaway with Joe.
34:43Do you think I need to pack a shirt for dinner?
34:46Oh, it's completely off-grid. I mean, it's not even a town.
34:49See, would she get in the car and go rural with it?
34:52No! She needs to share her location with a friend.
34:55Multiple friends.
34:56You want me to run a quick background check on him?
34:57Yes. Yes.
34:58The world's not as scary and mean as you think it is.
35:01Yes, it is.
35:02Honestly, get my sister Becky onto it.
35:03She'll find out.
35:04Yes, yes, yes.
35:05The travel lies.
35:07But before they can set off, Joe gets a call about his son.
35:11Everything all right?
35:12No, there's been an accident.
35:13Harry was running by the side of the pool.
35:15He slipped and he split his head open.
35:16He's in the hospital.
35:17Bullshit.
35:19He's doing the whole emergency exit.
35:20He's got three other girls down the road that he's got to visit.
35:23I feel awful.
35:24No, don't. Don't even worry about me.
35:26Just go.
35:27Poor Harry.
35:28Yeah.
35:29You survived another weekend, love.
35:31Oh, I can feel her disappointment.
35:34But Joe has a plan to make it up to her.
35:37Hey.
35:39Oh, no.
35:40Fell over his head.
35:42Tonight at Crown Towers.
35:45Oh, Crown.
35:46God, that must have cost a fortune.
35:48You book it.
35:49You can even get a grand suite, if you like.
35:51What?
35:52You book it?
35:53I don't have a credit card.
35:54I refuse to pay the bloody bank fees.
35:57Oh, dodgy.
35:58Who doesn't have a credit card in 2024?
36:02And when they get to their luxury suite,
36:04Joe reveals plans for a last-minute business dinner.
36:08It just would have been nice to know.
36:10I'm sorry.
36:11So he's organised a business meeting in this flashy hotel.
36:15That she's paying for.
36:16That she's...
36:17And then...
36:18Oh, shit.
36:19Yeah, he's drained the shared bank account.
36:20What did he say?
36:21His ex-wife drained his bank account.
36:24He's only supposed to access it with a kid's school fees.
36:26No, no, no.
36:27This is not good, mate.
36:29I can't hear over the sound of these alarm bells.
36:31So you're looking at 3,000 to 4,000 per megawatt?
36:34There's that many red flags in this?
36:35It could be a circus.
36:40He's ordering up.
36:41He hasn't got money.
36:42He's going to ask her to pay.
36:43She's shitting herself.
36:47Room charge.
36:48He'll room charge her.
36:49Do not offer your card.
36:53Oh, no, he's paying in cash.
36:55What?
36:56What is he, a drug dealer?
36:58Oh, she was so stressed.
36:59I'm still stressed.
37:00Where's the cash come from?
37:03Finally, Birdie decides to do some background checks.
37:06Yes, thank God.
37:09Mum word.
37:10Psycho.
37:12What?
37:15Oh, Jesus.
37:16Don't do that.
37:20Oh, my God.
37:21Right when it got interesting.
37:23Jo, you're no good, bros.
37:25If his name starts with J, better stay the hell away.
37:28Don't need no J's in your life unless his name is Jesus Christ.
37:31If he takes you on your phone, don't leave your ass alone.
37:33If his name starts with J, go.
37:50Three weeks time.
37:51I have my 20-year high school reunion.
37:54I didn't go to my tenure because I had put on a lot of weight
37:57and I didn't have a really good job.
37:59But now, I've still put on weight, but I've got a better job.
38:03You've got a good job.
38:05Monday on Foxtel, we watched a very English doco
38:08about the British Chocolate Wars.
38:11Choccies?
38:12Yum.
38:13Oh, do you know I love me some snacks?
38:15We can tell.
38:16Who didn't in the UK have a tin of roses or Quality Street?
38:21Typical present when you don't want to give a present.
38:25I reckon that's the best gift to give someone, chocolates.
38:27I'm not a big fan of them.
38:29I'm not worried about you.
38:30This is the story of the race to be the number one chocolate.
38:34The secret world of snacks.
38:36Can I tell you something about boxed chocolate?
38:39How about you let the show do that?
38:41The story of chocolates began in the early 20th century.
38:45I like caramello.
38:47I like anything with strawberry in it.
38:49A fancy box would set you back 100 shillings.
38:52Wow. That's expensive.
38:53Or with pineapple in it, you know.
38:56That was 10 weeks rent for an average family.
38:59What?
39:00Back in the day.
39:0110 weeks rent?
39:02And I always picked out the favourite ones and leave the rest.
39:05But one man had a plan to bring his famous confectionery to the masses.
39:09I know this.
39:10Quality Street?
39:11Yeah.
39:12Nana loves these chocolates.
39:14Look at that.
39:15Oh my God, this is taking me back.
39:17I remember that tin.
39:18My tater put all her sewing in it.
39:20And guess what, my dad used that one for it.
39:22What?
39:23Cash.
39:24All of those things, I think, are imbued in our memory.
39:26No, mine's just putting them in your cup, isn't it?
39:28But soon, Quality Street had competition.
39:31In 1938, Cadbury's launched Roses.
39:34Oh, yum.
39:35Do you remember Roses?
39:36Oh, Roses were the best.
39:38Yes, but they changed Roses chocolate.
39:40So I don't buy them anymore because they're horrible.
39:42But 15 rather exotic flavours, from pineapple to pistachio.
39:47I got really peeved off.
39:48I wrote them a letter when they changed it.
39:50Of course you would have.
39:51Of course you would have.
39:52And by the end of 1990, Roses had inched ahead of Quality Street.
39:56Thank you very much.
39:57Thank you very much.
39:58Thank you very, very, very much.
40:00Didn't we go to the chocolate factory in Dunedin?
40:02Yes, we did.
40:03Serious competition was on the horizon.
40:06Uh-oh.
40:07Here we go.
40:08Mars.
40:09Mars bars.
40:10Mars is great.
40:11But isn't Mars made out of Cadbury chocolate?
40:13I thought it was Nestle.
40:15No, Mars makes Mars, but they also make...
40:18Celebration, celebration.
40:19I do love a box of celebrations.
40:21They're mainly a Big W.
40:22I love going down to Big W on my lunch break.
40:24I'll buy like six of them.
40:25Can you say diabetes?
40:27Oh, I can spell it too.
40:29And so the chocolate wars began.
40:31We're not going to just let Mars own that segment of the market.
40:35Sir Dominic Cadbury.
40:37Imagine that, all you have to do is make some chocolate
40:39and then you get knighted.
40:40It's all your fault we're fat.
40:42In a bid to bring Roses into the 21st century,
40:45Cadbury made the controversial decision to change their wrappers.
40:49You shouldn't have changed it the way you'd done it.
40:51They ditched the traditional twist wrap.
40:53Yeah, and now you have to tear it in the middle.
40:55I can hardly open them.
40:57I've got to bite them to open them.
40:59Known as the flow wrap.
41:00No, but if something's perfect the way it is, why change it?
41:03Why change it?
41:04Because now it's crap.
41:05This is something that Chupa Chups could take note of.
41:08Have you ever tried to open a Chupa Chup?
41:10But there was another thing that ticked off customers.
41:13By 2019, Quality Street Roses and Celebrations
41:18had shrunk the size of their tubs by 40%.
41:21Yeah, that's a rip.
41:22All about money.
41:23That's why grandmas can't fit their sewing stuff in there anymore.
41:26But there is one ingredient that has not changed.
41:29Nostalgia is a very powerful thing.
41:32People get emotional about confectionery.
41:34Well, I did when they changed the Roses.
41:36I got peeved off.
41:37I eat chocolate and I genuinely smile.
41:40As much as I make fun of it,
41:42it is a good gift when you're going somewhere
41:44and you don't know what to take.
41:46That was interesting, to know why my arse is fat.
41:49That was so boring.
41:51I mean, really, it would be a 5-minute segment
41:53on a current affair.
41:54Yeah.
41:55Just watching that show was so nostalgic though, right?
42:01You don't know what nostalgic means, do you?
42:10Come on, boy.
42:13What is that?
42:14Oh, I thought you were directing me.
42:18Dear friends.
42:19What's going on here?
42:20Oh, it's a wedding.
42:21We are gathered here today to pay respect
42:23to one of our nation's finest storytellers.
42:26Doesn't sound like a wedding to me.
42:30That's Ray Martin!
42:31Wait, Ray Martin?
42:32Ray Martin.
42:33Ray Martin.
42:34Ray Martin.
42:35Ray Martin.
42:36Ray Martin.
42:37Ray Martin.
42:38Ray Martin.
42:39Wait, Ray Martin's not dead, is he?
42:40I'm not dead yet.
42:41Wednesday on SBS, we joined Ray Martin
42:44for the first of a new three-part documentary series
42:47about death.
42:50Last goodbye.
42:51This is what gets us up and about, right?
42:53My mission in this series is to look death in the eye
42:57and nothing is out of bounds.
42:59Would you have a nude funeral?
43:01Oh, okay.
43:02Wait, what?
43:03No, thank you.
43:04We can transform your body into part of the ecosystem.
43:07That's what I want, like a native Aussie plant
43:10planted in that soil and I can just flourish.
43:13Just don't trust me to water it because it will die.
43:16What will you choose for your last goodbye?
43:19So Ray Martin is going around talking to people
43:21about how they want to end up after they die.
43:24I hate thinking about death.
43:25I know.
43:26Well, then you might like Ray's first stop
43:28in the country town of Holbrook.
43:30This ordery-looking shed here,
43:32it could actually make Holbrook world famous
43:35because in here they promise you eternal life.
43:38This metal structure is officially called
43:41the Southern Cryonics Storage Facility.
43:44Oh, cryogenics.
43:45What is that?
43:46So basically once you die, they take your body
43:49and they freeze you.
43:50Yep, all in the hope they can bring you back to life
43:53in the future.
43:54Look, if your life's great and you love it and it's exciting,
43:56which for me and for my wife it is,
43:58why wouldn't you want to have more?
44:00No, but hang on, just pause it for a minute.
44:02So he's going to come back
44:03and who's he coming back to?
44:04Everyone he knows is probably dead anyway.
44:06Well, they're going to come back, what, to get a pension?
44:08And how much does it cost you? What have you paid?
44:10Well, Australia's the cheapest in the world.
44:11Here it's $150,000.
44:13$150,000 and you're getting frozen in a shed.
44:16I've got a deep freezer.
44:17Come over here, we'll chuck you in.
44:18Do it for $150.
44:20There's got to be more to it.
44:21I want to see the frozen bodies.
44:23Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
44:25We would receive this patient in this form like this
44:28and they'd be covered in dry ice.
44:30Who would want that, though?
44:31Put me in there, I reckon.
44:32Hear me out, though.
44:33What outfit would you go down in?
44:34Because you're waking up at 100 years wearing it.
44:36You don't want to come out in a crap outfit.
44:38And we put them in the computer-controlled cooling box.
44:41They're in a back street in the middle of nowhere
44:43in a little shed in the middle of a farm.
44:45This operation seems dodgy.
44:47Then we lower it into the container.
44:49Will his body remain the same there for...
44:51Essentially the same for centuries
44:53because there's almost no deterioration
44:55at that sort of temperature.
44:56Wow.
44:57Okay.
44:58I have chicken in my freezer and it's got freezer burn.
45:01So what happens if there's a power failure?
45:03What happens to the bodies?
45:04Or what happens if the farmer dies
45:06and no-one can look after any of this?
45:08There's that as well.
45:09Who really knows when their number is up?
45:11But what if I did know?
45:13Would I want to plan for the end?
45:1637-year-old former truck driver Crikey
45:19is preparing for his own funeral.
45:22With a terminal diagnosis,
45:24cancer of the esophagus and the bowel,
45:26it's only a matter of months for Crikey.
45:29Oh, that's very young.
45:31That's sad when you know you're going to die in a couple of months.
45:34Crikey, which is an old Norse name,
45:36wants to go out in the Viking tradition.
45:39Hey!
45:40Viking, okay.
45:41Which means burial without a coffin.
45:43Burial without a coffin.
45:44This is exactly what I want.
45:46I want to be able to have my body go back into the earth.
45:49We start off with this helmet.
45:51So you'll wear that, will you?
45:53I won't wear that. It'll sort of sit beside me.
45:55I've also got the spear.
45:56He's getting buried with a spear.
45:57You know, it's quite beautiful
45:59because he wants to go out the way he wants to go out.
46:01And the only other thing to go in here is the cup of meat.
46:04I like this guy's attitude.
46:05He knows he's going to go.
46:07You've got to accept it.
46:08That's quite confronting, though, isn't it?
46:10To actually be confronted by your final resting place.
46:14So how do you feel when you look at that?
46:16That's you.
46:19It's haunting, really.
46:23To be honest, I sense this trepidation a bit earlier.
46:26When Crikey talked about a friend who recently died of cancer.
46:30It just breaks my heart.
46:32The closer she got to the end,
46:34the more she came to peace with what was happening to her.
46:37That's one of the things I'm taking solace in
46:40is looking forward to that point.
46:43Yep, yep.
46:47I guess a part of that acceptance applies to all of us.
46:50Death isn't something that we can control.
46:53But for Crikey, going out on his own terms is very important.
46:59Oh, Pharaoh. Wow.
47:02Crikey passed away three months after sharing his story with us.
47:06The Viking funeral he planned so carefully
47:08was full of tears and joy and plenty of meat.
47:11Exactly how he wanted to go.
47:13Yep.
47:15That was really good.
47:16As sad as that is,
47:18cos I hate thinking or talking about death,
47:22that was quite nice.
47:23It gets you thinking.
47:24And that's what, as you get on, cos you don't realise,
47:27I'm 64, you're 78.
47:29We're getting on there.
47:30I'm what?
47:31You won't reach 78, I'm telling you.