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00:00Now, when the turf is home, they say the winter is in,
00:02and I have my turf home.
00:04Well, the winter is starting then.
00:06Yeah.
00:07It's grand to have the turf in the shed.
00:10Have a nice fire.
00:12Sit back.
00:14And relax.
00:15Relax.
00:17The next thing, then?
00:18Christmas.
00:19You can say whatever you want.
00:21Beat the Lord!
00:22Why would you want that?
00:24Why?
00:25Oh!
00:26Now, why would you do that?
00:28Perfect world, sing with me now.
00:31Ah!
00:32Yeah!
00:33Here, I love this ship.
00:34Blast the errands!
00:35Ooh!
00:38Get off the telly!
00:39Oh, no, leave him alone!
00:41Leave him alone!
00:42Oh, my gosh, why is this program so long?
00:44Perfect, perfect world.
00:50In the week when Cole plays Chris Martin's serenaded shoppers
00:54on Grafton Street, we watched loads of great telly.
00:59On Monday, Virgin Media Play's gripping new drama
01:02had us all on edge.
01:11U&W introduced us to an age-old Swedish tradition on Thursday.
01:16If you want it to stay, we put a green dot on it, OK?
01:20Oh, I'd be into this now.
01:21So if we want a free makeover, lads, one of us
01:24is going to have to kick the kids' buckets.
01:26And Discovery Plus entertained us with the show
01:29that was a bit of crack.
01:31I really, truly do believe we live
01:32in an over-medicated world.
01:37Oh, love it!
01:38Oh, stunning.
01:40Oh, ha, ha, ha, yup, you sent it.
01:48In Carlo.
01:50What do you reckon of this new trend of raw-dogging things?
01:54Mates, Greg, John and Eric.
01:58What, what is it? Raw-dogging.
01:59It's like basically...
02:00OK, I understand that to be...
02:02No, it's not what you understand it to be.
02:04Yeah, what?
02:05It's basically going without your phone.
02:07Say you have to wait in a shop.
02:09Or wait in a doctor's office or something.
02:11You have to wait in there, just waiting
02:12without looking at your phone.
02:13With my own thoughts.
02:14Yeah, or sitting on a plane without...
02:16Getting on a plane, no book, no magazine,
02:18no phone, no film, just wait.
02:21No.
02:22Couldn't do it.
02:23Couldn't do it.
02:24Do you know where you go to the...
02:26You go to the bathroom and you forget your phone
02:28and you end up taking a 90s shite?
02:30Is that what they're called, 90s shite?
02:33Read in the back of the bleach bottle?
02:35Yeah!
02:36Raw-dogging the shite.
02:39Last Tuesday, Virgin Media 1's 5.30 News
02:43brought us this dramatic development.
02:46Good evening.
02:47Well, the guns have fallen silent,
02:48the great wait is over.
02:50Who's waiting for this, though, is my question.
02:52Ooh!
02:54Best day of my life.
02:57That's how Liam and Noel Gallagher confirmed
02:59the end of their bitter falling out this morning
03:01and that they were reforming Oasis and going back on the road.
03:04I wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire.
03:07It's huge, isn't it?
03:08I have no interest. Have you any interest?
03:10No.
03:11Well, the band's announced a series of tour dates,
03:14including two concerts at Croke Park next August.
03:18I couldn't give a shit about my birthday, Christmas, New Year's,
03:22anything that's going on now.
03:24All I want to go is and see this.
03:28For fans, the great wait is over
03:30as the highly anticipated Oasis tour was announced.
03:33That concert will be wild.
03:37On a post on X, the band released the long-awaited details
03:40at 8am this morning.
03:41What they post on Twitter when most of their fans are on Facebook.
03:44This will be the British brothers' first tour in 15 years
03:47after they split due to a feud in 2009.
03:50Has anyone had a word with him
03:52about the midlife crisis going on top of his head?
03:55The Oasis Live 25 tour concludes in the venue behind me
03:58on the 17th of August next year,
04:00but tickets to get inside Croke Park could be hard to come by.
04:03Would you go see them now?
04:06I'd have would. Would you?
04:08Stop. There's nothing like them.
04:10They're so cool, they're so calm.
04:13They're not calm.
04:14They're not calm. They're not calm, missus.
04:16They just kill each other. Yeah.
04:17Ticket prices start at 86 euro 50
04:20and it's expected to be thousands in the queue.
04:22I think that's a really reasonable price.
04:23Sorry, now, what? There's going to be one ticket for 86 euro.
04:27Can't wait. Going to get a bucket hat,
04:28going to get every piece of merchandise they have
04:31and I'm just going to drink a copious amount of Guinness.
04:34It's going to be brilliant.
04:35Fans, meanwhile, are setting their alarms to 8am on Saturday morning
04:38when tickets for the Irish shows go live.
04:418am as well. On a Saturday.
04:42It's mad, isn't it?
04:44And then on Saturday,
04:46Virgin Media News brought us a timely ticket update.
04:51Good evening. Many Oasis fans have been left disappointed and frustrated.
04:55Oh, here we go. I knew this was going to happen.
04:58With massive demand, original prices for their Croke Park gigs
05:01soon skyrocketed.
05:02It's a bloody disgrace. Look, you knew it was going to happen.
05:05Yeah. You knew. Look at that.
05:06With some standing tickets in excess of 400 euro.
05:11Do you know, I remember when I was younger,
05:13all I wanted to do was get a tweeze just to his eyebrow.
05:16See, it's like a proper uni brow.
05:19Is that when you knew you were gay? Yeah, probably.
05:21But for some of those lucky enough to actually be able to buy tickets,
05:25as the morning went on,
05:26they were faced with in-demand pricing for pitch standing.
05:28They should be capped. Yeah.
05:30And that's it. That's the price.
05:33A standing ticket of 415 euro?
05:35But this in-demand standing thing,
05:37you could be standing beside someone that was on a half an hour before you
05:40and paid 80 quid for the ticket.
05:41No, just stand out on the street with a few cans of this and you'd be grand.
05:44I queued overnight to get Kanye West tickets.
05:47There was like a group of us that did it
05:49and we all had to get letters for school the next day
05:52to say that we were all sick.
05:53We forgot that. We got a photo in front of the paper of us queuing
05:57and our teacher got us out.
05:58LAUGHTER
06:03In Dun Laoghaire...
06:04Do you know how old these couches are now? Eight years.
06:06Eight years, it is. Eight years.
06:08There's a familial groove to it.
06:10..friends, David and John.
06:13When I bought these couches, cos I was insane,
06:16I paid a premium for a couch doctor.
06:18So the couch doctor, if there was ever a spill or a stain,
06:21as you remember, cos it was very particular about them,
06:23you'd call the couch doctor and he'd come out.
06:25That expired after two years.
06:26Back the fuck up for two seconds.
06:29Because when I was sitting on these couches,
06:32having a drink like Highs and Bouquets neighbour, OK?
06:35There was no mention of,
06:37it's OK, John, there's a couch doctor.
06:38Yeah, but you know you, if I give you an inch, you'll take a mile.
06:41Oh, my God!
06:43But now I don't care. I need to get new ones.
06:44I'm pretty sure someone pissed on the couch
06:46at one stage of that house session.
06:48There was like a bizarre stain at the end of that
06:50when I just flipped the cushion.
06:52Which way did you flip the cushion?
06:54Facing up now. Am I sitting on this?
06:56Actually, that was probably your piss at some point.
06:59I did not pee in this couch.
07:00On Monday, the first two episodes of a gripping new drama
07:04on Virgin Media Play immersed us in the world of a woman named Kathy.
07:10Oh, Jesus!
07:11What is this?
07:12As soon as there's a spitter in, civilisation collapses.
07:15What the hell did he just say?
07:18You all right?
07:20Yeah. That's strange.
07:21Does she know him?
07:26He killed her brother or something, was it?
07:28Something like that.
07:31Did she start the fire?
07:33Don't know. I wouldn't dare say.
07:41HE COUGHS
07:42Jesus Christ!
07:43Sorry.
07:45Bless you. But I'm not happy about it.
07:47We watched as Kathy shared a glass of wine
07:49and details of her encounter with her best friend, Sally.
07:53That's him.
07:54That's him?
07:55Who?
07:56Who do you think?
07:57Michael McAllister.
07:59Who is this Michael McAllister, though?
08:02It took about two seconds to find.
08:04Wait, are you sure?
08:06Yes.
08:07Who uploads that photo onto their social media?
08:11Literally looks like the chip van CCTV.
08:14It's like the theme parks when they take your foot on the rollercoaster.
08:17I was thinking about sending him a message.
08:20What? Fuck no, Kathy.
08:21Just tell him what a bastard he is.
08:22There's nothing worse than having to creep on someone's Instagram
08:25and you double-tap by accident.
08:26I set up a fake account.
08:28Ta-da.
08:31Oh, fuck off!
08:33What did she say?
08:34She made a fake account!
08:36I get fellas asking me to, like, stand on their balls on my Instagram.
08:47You...
08:48That's done.
08:51Mm.
08:53He's after replying already.
08:55OK, well, what's he saying?
08:59Do I know you?
09:00Ooh!
09:02As Kathy's curiosity of Michael grew,
09:05the programme took us to his upmarket Irish street.
09:09Any time anything's made in Ireland,
09:10you just spend your time going, do I know that street?
09:12Look at that background.
09:13Do you know what my next thought was?
09:14I wonder how much...
09:15I was like, how expensive is it to live on that road?
09:19Is it a good road?
09:20I'd be shitting me...
09:21Would you go into someone's and say, I'd be shitting meself?
09:42There's someone in the house.
09:44That's not her opening the door.
09:45Oh, my goodness.
09:50What in the name of Jesus is she doing, taking off her trousers?
09:53What is she going to do here?
09:54Is she going to take a poo?
09:55Is she going to take a pee?
09:56Is she going to take a poo?
09:57It's a poo.
10:01Oh, no, it's her son.
10:03His son's coming in.
10:07Oh, she left knickers.
10:09Dirty bitch.
10:12Archie!
10:13Oh, me nerves, me nerves, me nerves.
10:14Archie!
10:15Archie!
10:16Get under the bed!
10:21Archie!
10:23I'd leg it.
10:25Where is she going to leg it to?
10:26Out the front door.
10:27Right.
10:28Mm-hm.
10:29What are you doing there?
10:30She's brave.
10:32Lovely house, isn't it, Tracy?
10:41She's got stuck.
10:44My God, leave the...
10:45Leave the coat.
10:47What the fuck was that?
10:48Go, go, go, go, girl, go.
10:51Follow me.
10:54Ah!
10:55Archie!
10:58Cathy and Michael's growing relationship
11:00had us questioning her motives.
11:07Oh.
11:09Oh, she's going to lure him in now,
11:11like she's wanted to go on a date with him
11:13or something like that.
11:14He's had something to do with killing her brother.
11:16She's seeking revenge by destroying his life.
11:18Yeah.
11:20Hi. Oh, she's a wee gone.
11:23This is a bit... a bit bold.
11:28Yeah, I know, but...
11:31we're not doing anything wrong.
11:35Ish.
11:37Coming to my parlour, to the spider, to the fly, huh?
11:41This isn't Misner, right?
11:46Is it?
11:49Is it?
11:50It's kind of weird going on a coffee date with a stranger, isn't it?
11:53Yeah, just to clarify, that's definitely messing around.
11:55Don't do that. OK. Thank you.
12:02What the fuck is she doing?
12:04He says guilty.
12:06Oh, there we go.
12:08The episode's final scene
12:10took us on a nice, relaxing stroll home
12:13with Cathy's best friend, Sally.
12:19Oh, no!
12:26But he was leading to believe that's him.
12:30What have you done to yourself?
12:33Ow! I fell OK.
12:36Oh, Michael, he's killing again.
12:39I'm not. I'm not.
12:41I'm not. I'm not.
12:43I'm not. I'm not.
12:45I'm not. I'm not.
12:48I'm not having an affair, hear me?
12:51I'm not a fucking murderer!
12:53Well, that's debatable. Stop being the allegations.
13:00Oh, it's the young fella. It was the son.
13:03D'you reckon? Oh, my God.
13:05It was him.
13:07Bunch of murderous bastards in this family, aren't they?
13:10Oh, maybe it was the son.
13:13Tune in for the next...
13:15You'd want to watch the next episode of that, wouldn't you?
13:45Same as when I'm doing the national anthem.
13:47HE SINGS
13:49I sing from the back of my throat.
13:50HE SINGS
13:53I can't believe you don't know the national anthem.
13:55I do, but I get out... It's a bit like a parrot.
13:57A parrot doesn't actually mimic the word, it mimics your tone.
14:01So it sounds like it's going...
14:02HE SINGS
14:04But it's actually going... HE SINGS
14:10On Thursday, we settled down to test ourselves
14:14against BBC One's brand-new afternoon quiz show.
14:21They always have the shittest names, don't they, for these shows?
14:24Here is how it works.
14:26Every question has two possible answers.
14:29In this example...
14:30Multiple choice.
14:31It's how I passed the Leaving Cert.
14:32So the questions will come down at random
14:34and our teams just need to swipe whichever way they think.
14:37The premise of the show is really good.
14:39How do you make it? It's a Tinder game show.
14:41So, start in castaway.
14:43I reckon that's top, Hank, so I'll bag myself £50.
14:46I won't be cheersers, I'm into this now.
14:48Let's meet the teams taking on the answer run today.
14:51Hi, I'm Dominic, this is Matthew, and we're from South London.
14:55Oh, bless him. He has one of those haircuts
14:57where he's holding on to the hair.
15:00I want a Sarge African fringe out, it looks like a bear coat.
15:03You've got 15 questions, 90 seconds on the clock.
15:06We'll put a clock up for the viewers at home.
15:08Let's be having you, so...
15:10Do you want to play it? Me versus you.
15:13OK. Right?
15:15How much do you want to put on it?
15:17Erm... 50 quid.
15:20You're joking. And your time starts now.
15:24Goes before bone in another name for the shoulder blade.
15:26Spade. Something over there.
15:28Spade. I think that's spade, I've no idea.
15:31No idea.
15:32Well done, spade bone.
15:34What was that? Spade bone.
15:35Get a fucking eye out of there.
15:36Character in the Charles Dickens novel,
15:38Bleak House, Inspector Black.
15:40Inspector Bucket.
15:41Bucket.
15:42Spade. Bucket.
15:43Spade.
15:44What?
15:46Yeah, go Bucket.
15:48It is Bucket, very good.
15:52I can't see the questions.
15:53There's no way the demographic of this show
15:56can see any of these questions.
15:57In the name of the 2014 charity challenge, that is Ice Water.
16:01Oh!
16:04Time's just run out there.
16:05They've done well, those lads.
16:08Wow.
16:09How many chocolates did you take out?
16:12How many more do you have there beside you?
16:15Later, things ramped up as we watched Dominic and Matthew
16:18try to keep a hold of their impressive lump sum.
16:21A prize pot of £13,600.
16:25God, they've some money clocked up.
16:27That is our biggest prize pot of the series so far.
16:31Wow. Bank.
16:33All that stands between you and that money
16:36is one final run.
16:37So, you don't actually have that one, do you?
16:39No.
16:40Jesus Christ.
16:41You've got to go through, no?
16:42Typical BBC.
16:43Yeah, don't give you nothing.
16:45Answer eight questions correctly in a row.
16:48Your stack will reach the jackpot line
16:50and you'll be walking away with that fantastic amount of money.
16:53You can't just win the money and leave.
16:55No, no, no.
16:56It's always something else.
16:57Yeah.
16:58Here is your final choice of categories.
17:02We've got Friday, Saturday.
17:04Saturday night, watch this.
17:06I guarantee it's going to be one of the questions.
17:08Your time starts now.
17:10In the title of a 1994 UK number one single by Whitfield.
17:13Saturday night.
17:16Don't you?
17:17Saturday night, yeah.
17:18Saturday night...
17:19Didn't ask you to sing it, Neil.
17:21Cameron Swin, Daniel Defoe's novel, Robinson Crusoe.
17:23It has to be Friday, no-one's called Saturday, surely?
17:25Who the fuck's called Friday?
17:26We're Tired For A Living.
17:27Oh, it's Saturday, we've still got it again.
17:30Oh, no, they got it wrong.
17:31There is so much I don't know about Friday and Saturday.
17:35In the title of a BBC cookery show hosted by Max Hebbert...
17:37Saturday morning live.
17:38..since 2016, it's Saturday Kitchen.
17:40Right, come on, come on, get your fingers quicker, Matty,
17:42you're taking forever.
17:43One more to get halfway, come on.
17:45Wedding Day of Prince William and Catherine Middleton.
17:47Oh, they got married on a Friday.
17:49They got married on a Friday, which is cheaper.
17:51Saturday, I think.
17:52No, Friday, go Friday.
17:53Oh, it was Friday!
17:54I told you it was a Friday!
17:56Ah, you fucking eejit, listen to him, will you?
17:59Cameras are played by Dan Aykroyd in a 1997 film, The Pregnant.
18:02Joe Friday.
18:03Oh!
18:04I have to blast a whole lot.
18:06Oh, Jesus.
18:08Oh, would you be raging?
18:12Raging!
18:14That's... That's brutal.
18:16Hey, hey. That killed me.
18:18That has milked me.
18:19Killed me.
18:20Not milked me!
18:22I thought you said, that's milked me.
18:24I was like, I'm going to use that sentence.
18:26No, because your name is Dawn.
18:27Yeah?
18:32I hope you've enjoyed the show at home and we'll see you next time
18:35when three more teams take on the answer run.
18:38They don't even get a fucking dishcloth.
18:39They get FA.
18:40Not even a duster.
18:41They get FA.
18:42Oh, the miserable ghosts.
18:43They get sweet FA.
18:47In Saigert, twins Fergal and Neil.
18:51It's best for the son to roast. We'll see it together.
18:53Neil is settling in to his new place.
18:56One, two, three.
18:57Gravy.
18:59I don't know the gravy.
19:00Cannot stand...
19:01And yes, gravy, bear in mind.
19:03I put so much effort into it.
19:04Who wants yours? Bisto.
19:06Chicken stock from the chicken.
19:08Or the fat.
19:10A vegetable stock cube.
19:13Water.
19:15Small bit of paprika.
19:16Bisto.
19:18You know the worst part of this is under-roasting?
19:20What?
19:21The pain for it.
19:22I never eat in the sun any more.
19:25This week, we logged on to Discovery Plus
19:28to take a look at the curious world of chiropractics.
19:31There we go.
19:32Oh, God. Wow.
19:34Nice.
19:37Oh.
19:38Jesus.
19:39Ah!
19:41Oh, I love cracking stuff.
19:44I am Dr. Alessandra Colon,
19:45and I am a chiropractor in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida.
19:49Hold on, I can't do that.
19:50I can't look at this.
19:53Crack addicts.
19:55They came up with the name of the show
19:57and then said, how will we make this work?
19:59I got this done with a lad in Dublin.
20:00Your mother was watching it.
20:02Magic Hands Jimmy, wasn't it?
20:04Yeah.
20:05That's who did...
20:06He pulled out my spine like an accordion, boy.
20:08Rolled him up like Mala.
20:10The series also introduced us to chronic pain sufferer, Ali.
20:14You can go ahead and sign in for me, please.
20:17My most severe pain right now
20:19is down my shoulders and into my back.
20:22I've never in my life had a zero on the pain scale.
20:25It's like my after pee pain.
20:27That is not a thing, and you need to see a doctor.
20:29Describe the types of pains and where.
20:33Everywhere.
20:34The miracle would be for you to realign or fix something,
20:38get it so it's not sublux anymore,
20:39and for it to stay for longer than 24 hours.
20:41That's never happened.
20:42I'd love her to be able to do something for...
20:44OK, so I will tell you this,
20:46like my code word is timber if I'm going to pass out.
20:49Timber. Timber.
20:50I would say it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
20:53Big breath, let it out.
20:55INHALES
20:56EXHALES
21:00Oh, love it, love it!
21:02Oh!
21:03Stunning.
21:04I need to go for that.
21:06Same.
21:09Oh!
21:11Yep, you sent it.
21:12I can't, not with the head. I'm OK with the back.
21:15It's like a bowl of snap, crackle and pop, Neil.
21:18Oh! Oh, yes!
21:21I might go for one of them now.
21:23Maybe they're good for stress.
21:25Oh, God, she'll come back like Meryl Streep and death becomes her.
21:28It feels like an avalanche is going down my spine.
21:33The pain was just gone.
21:35Must be great.
21:36Imagine thinking that this is your lot,
21:38you're going to keep that pain forever and then it goes.
21:41Imagine.
21:42Do a little reset here for you.
21:48Jesus!
21:49How many broken bones have you had?
21:51Eight in my fingers and my thumb.
21:54My ankle.
21:55And your nose.
21:56My wrist, my nose, my hip, of course.
21:59Jesus, you're like evil Knievel there.
22:02Hello.
22:04Is it safe to maybe say that we might have achieved our primary goal?
22:08Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
22:10Is that safe to say that? Because we've got 24 hours.
22:13I'm absolutely going to a chiropractor.
22:15It's the only thing I haven't tried.
22:17Can we go together?
22:18I was just thinking there,
22:19I don't think you can get a double chiropractor thing.
22:21Well, no, we can go to the same one. Oh, right.
22:24Not be in the same room.
22:26I had visions of us being like,
22:28you know, did you watch Westworld tonight?
22:30Our heads being torn off.
22:32Oh, my God, I totally sound like one of those cliché people
22:35that's like, I wasn't a believer and now I am.
22:37Can you imagine?
22:38After being in chronic pain, that's amazing.
22:41I think I may need to be put in a hospital.
22:44I may need to be cracked.
22:46Your knee is made of metal.
22:49She does know she's never going to get rid of me now, right?
22:54I think my job's done here.
22:56I think I'll be able to do that, Tracy.
23:01Did you hear that?
23:03Do that one.
23:04Is this your artificial hip now?
23:06Yeah, it doesn't matter.
23:08Now you have to hold me now.
23:15In Cork...
23:17Someone needs to talk to your mam about emojis.
23:20..Dale and her wife Dawn.
23:23Because, like, your mam will send, like, a lovely message
23:26and then it'll be like, God bless,
23:28and then she sends the wet emoji,
23:30which, obviously, she thinks is sprinkles of holy water.
23:33That's what it is.
23:34Yeah.
23:35And then she'll be like, God bless,
23:37and then she sends the wet emoji,
23:39which, obviously, she thinks is sprinkles of holy water.
23:42That's what it is.
23:43That's what it is for mam.
23:45And then also she'll be like, you know,
23:47like, hope you have the best time,
23:49and then she'll send the heart with the bandages on it.
23:51Or it'll be the melty smiley face.
23:53Yeah, the...
23:54On Monday, a new RTÉ One series
23:57pulled back the curtain on those keeping law and order
24:00on our streets.
24:02In recent years, Ireland has faced complex and difficult issues.
24:06I think I'll be a good girl.
24:07You look like a girl.
24:10This series goes behind the front desk,
24:12inside patrol cars and on the beat.
24:14I would have thought I'd like to be a guard once upon a time.
24:18But at that time, you couldn't wear glasses.
24:25Have you ever been in trouble with the guards?
24:28Um...
24:32The programme took us on a fascinating ride-along
24:35with some Gardaà in Waterford.
24:37Out on a routine night patrol, Gardaà Clodagh and Sean
24:40come across a vehicle acting suspiciously
24:42on the hard shoulder of the dual carriageway.
24:44Clodagh and Sean!
24:46Good guard names.
24:48Oh, God, has he looked wrong?
24:49Has he looked wrong?
24:52I went to school with him!
24:54What's his name?
24:55Sean White!
24:56Oh, my God!
24:58What's a Tipperary man doing in Waterford?
25:00Have you been drinking?
25:02Definitely not.
25:04You're reeking of booze, bud.
25:06Have you been drinking? Yeah?
25:08OK, how much have you been drinking?
25:10Two cans of beer.
25:11There's more than two cans of beer.
25:13I'd say so, yeah.
25:14You're coming back to the station with me, I've told you.
25:16I've arrested you already, you're under arrest.
25:18Yes, you've been drinking.
25:22Jesus Christ.
25:23Oh, my God, the disassociation.
25:25How can I not drive at home?
25:27The suspect is brought back to the station
25:29to undertake a regulated breath test
25:31to judge the level of alcohol in his system.
25:34What do you think of the new uniform?
25:36Beautiful.
25:37I think the new Garda uniforms are shit.
25:40I'm not intimidated by a polo shirt.
25:42Go on, keep going, keep going.
25:43No, you've stopped.
25:44You can't stop.
25:45You will, at the time around this,
25:46you will have one more go.
25:48OK, if you fail this one,
25:49you fail or refuse to provide a sample.
25:51Which is four years.
25:52Which is a disqualification and...
25:54Oh!
25:55No, no, no.
25:56Oh!
25:57Come on, now.
25:58He'll blow a hole in the wall now.
26:00Go on, keep going, keep going, keep going.
26:02He's talking to him like your man is giving birth or something.
26:05This is telling us that you have 83 micrograms of alcohol
26:08per 100 millilitres of breath in your system, OK?
26:11Oh, my gosh.
26:12He's had at least six or seven pints in the very recent past.
26:16Six or seven and then driving home, gobshite.
26:20Back in Dundalk,
26:21Lee and Nishal are about to head out on patrol.
26:25Dundalk.
26:26Is that how they talk in Dundalk?
26:28Or drada?
26:29What way do they talk in Dundalk?
26:32What's their accent?
26:33I'm not jumping into whatever hole you're digging.
26:39That's so classic, Dundalk.
26:51Why is there a need to be that fucking rude?
26:58Fucking hell.
27:00What do you do in that situation? Do you just leave it?
27:02You have to.
27:03Yeah?
27:04You don't escalate.
27:05Yeah.
27:06Must be very hard, though.
27:08You have to rise above people like that.
27:21Oh, my God.
27:24Would you be a favour now?
27:25Would you just stay off the road?
27:28I hate that mentality.
27:30Well, I'm paying taxes, so I'm paying your wages.
27:32Fuck it up.
27:34Would you stay off the road, OK?
27:37So you don't get knocked down, you fucking idiot.
27:46You literally are in the middle of the road.
27:52A succulent Chinese!
27:54He was eating a succulent Chinese,
27:56and the guards interrupted him!
28:06Why would you think, man?
28:12But this is the same guy you're going to call
28:14when somebody breaks into your house and attacks your mum.
28:17So that's not meant to extend here.
28:20So Section 4 of the Criminal Justice Procedure, 1994,
28:23is that you're intoxicated...
28:26What I find fascinating about this man is he's like,
28:28I'm not drunk, I'm not drunk,
28:30and, like, he's standing there in a Garda station, handcuffed.
28:33I'm like, babes, something's gone wrong in your evening.
28:41Oh, really?
28:43I respect more from a farmer.
28:45Farmers are racist than anybody else.
28:47Oh, that's true, I suppose.
28:50Well, there it is.
28:55What a gobshite!
28:59Can I just get your...
29:01LAUGHTER
29:03The blacks!
29:04The Syrians!
29:10Did he just say Prime Minister?
29:14Oh, you know it's bad when you're wheeling out Leo Varadkar.
29:20Thank you. Thank you very much.
29:22And what are you doing for our country?
29:24Getting arrested and getting absolutely sloshed by it.
29:26That's what you're doing.
29:28You're not exactly contributing to society the way this man is.
29:31Garda was too thick to get into the yards.
29:33Did you ever try to get in them?
29:35I did, yeah.
29:36Did you?
29:37Mm. Just had to do a test.
29:39I never got out.
29:41As much as a phone call,
29:43I knew I was very hungover when I'd done it.
29:46In Bettystown...
29:48Do you have story time for the tattoos?
29:50Because to me they don't make sense,
29:53but to you they might make sense.
29:55..Conor and his sister, Emma.
29:57Er, it would be, like, song lyrics.
30:00That would be, like, someone said, and that's from Titanic.
30:03So it's like there's no cohesion.
30:05Why the Titanic tattoo?
30:06Titanic's my favourite tattoo.
30:08I didn't want to get a tattoo of, like, a fucking iceberg.
30:11Exquisite work.
30:12So, like, what's the reference?
30:15The reference is that they're, like, walking on the deck
30:18and she's being a bitch and she takes his, like, book
30:21and she's looking through his pictures.
30:23She's like, these are good.
30:25They're very good, actually.
30:27And then she's, like, looking through and she goes,
30:29Jack, this is exquisite work.
30:31And I'm like, see what I mean?
30:34It's like, yeah, it, like, scratches that certain spot
30:37where it's just exquisite.
30:39On Thursday, UNW introduced us to this loving couple.
30:46Tiffany is an amazing woman.
30:48I love her.
30:49Aw.
30:50This is another weepy, shy programme.
30:52I don't like these shows.
30:53Why?
30:54I don't like crying.
30:55I just, you know, I love her.
30:57I mean, he's the love of my life.
31:00He was diagnosed with stomach lining cancer
31:03and then we found out this November
31:07that he has six months to a year to live.
31:09Aw, man.
31:10Hmm.
31:11God, I'm breaking my heart for her.
31:13Shortly after we met them,
31:15Tiffany's husband, Landon, died of cancer.
31:17We know he wanted help for Tiffany to get the house in order,
31:20so that's where our gentle death cleaners stepped in.
31:23What the heck is this?
31:25What?
31:27Swedish death cleaning!
31:29Yes!
31:31I don't know whether I should be applauding this.
31:33OK, we'll go with it.
31:35The show introduced us to the Swedish trio
31:38tasked with tidying Tiffany's home
31:40in the aftermath of her husband's passing.
31:44God, I would find this so overwhelming.
31:46Three Swedish strangers with beautiful blonde hair
31:49coming into my house with a camera crew
31:51being like, you need to fuck half this out.
31:53Why do you need death cleaning?
31:55Well, I recently lost my husband, Landon,
31:59and I have a lot of things that we have accumulated
32:01in the last five years
32:03that we really don't need to hang on to anymore.
32:05The house looks all right, though.
32:07But it's not like him and I, where you have fucking maggots
32:09crawling out our ears and all.
32:11If your mother dies before me, I'll be getting another escape.
32:13It's a little cosy living room,
32:15so this is the chair that he passed away in.
32:18He loved this chair.
32:20He passed away in the chair.
32:22He should do it at home, do it in his chair.
32:24Yeah.
32:26I sit in it still every night.
32:28I haven't been able to do anything with it.
32:30Well, that has to stay.
32:32And this is Landon right here, actually.
32:34So his ashes.
32:36So how do you relate to his ashes?
32:38Do you interact with it?
32:40I talk to him all the time.
32:42Oh, God love her.
32:48He started getting sick in August,
32:50and he was diagnosed in November with stage 4 cancer.
32:58They told us that.
33:00We're going to be lucky if he makes it six months to a year.
33:04And that was a huge shock and a blow to us.
33:06Oh, poor pet.
33:08It's still very raw. It's only four months.
33:10I know.
33:12My one died in the November,
33:14and I didn't get rid of his clothes until the June.
33:16I couldn't. I just couldn't.
33:18I want to make Landon proud.
33:20I want to do everything in my life
33:22that's going to make me happy,
33:24and I know he would love that.
33:26So if we want a free makeover,
33:28one of us is going to have to kick the kid's bucket.
33:32As the death cleaning got underway,
33:34we agonized along with Tiffany
33:36as she made some tough decisions.
33:38So everything that you think could leave your house,
33:40we can put a red dot on.
33:42Okay.
33:44And if you want it to stay, we put a green dot on it.
33:46Okay.
33:48Oh, I'd be into this now.
33:50I hope they don't get rid of everything.
33:52I feel like they won't.
33:54So we'll just put this one on right away.
33:56Yes.
33:58She's going to get rid of the chair?
34:00Yes.
34:02Oh, God.
34:04We'll make sure this has a green dot on it, okay?
34:06Oh, yeah, keep the ashes.
34:08Landon's chair is old,
34:10and it has some painful memories in it,
34:12and Tiffany wants to get rid of it.
34:14But this is a tough one.
34:16It's a real beige house, isn't it?
34:18The outside as well, do you know what I mean?
34:20And you have to be brave
34:22to move on and take this hard decision.
34:24That's why you should never
34:26do it by yourself.
34:28Well, you wouldn't be able to lift a chair by yourself anyway.
34:30There's actually more relief
34:32than I, like, had figured.
34:34Okay.
34:36Do you know what I mean?
34:38Like, Americans are just so fucking emotional.
34:40Oh, my God.
34:42We watched as the show took us back to Tiffany's house
34:44for the big reveal.
34:46Let's see.
34:48Oh.
34:50Oh, my God.
34:52Couch.
34:54You did a great job, in all fairness.
34:56It's not cluttered with stuff
34:58or a new style.
35:00He seems funny, doesn't he? Persuade.
35:02I really want to show you the office.
35:04Oh, my God.
35:06This is amazing.
35:08Oh, my gosh.
35:10It's a table and a chair and a lamp.
35:12They've literally removed all personality
35:14from it now and made it look like a Scandi house.
35:16Oh, and it's Landon.
35:18Hi.
35:20Oh, my God, I love that.
35:22If you ever die, I'll make a little John Corner.
35:28Later, we watched
35:30as Tiffany and her family
35:32were given one final Swede treat.
35:34The stadium.
35:36Oh.
35:44Aw.
35:46That is so cool.
35:48Oh, dear God.
35:52It was like he was looking down on us.
35:54I love it.
35:56It's good.
35:58I absolutely love it.
36:08Deep down,
36:10I just find Americans
36:12so fucking annoying.
36:18In the Liberties...
36:20How do you like your scrambled eggs?
36:22..friends Tracy and Anita.
36:24Do you know what?
36:26People are doing the scrambled eggs
36:28in the microwaves now.
36:30Oh, no.
36:32Like, what's up with that?
36:34Well, a lot of people do.
36:36Listen, I used to always do a scrambled egg in the pot
36:38and then you're three days washing the pot
36:40and then I have many pots I threw in the bin
36:42in temper.
36:44So, you know,
36:46I only copped on a couple of months ago
36:48about the frying pan.
36:50I've always done it in the frying pan.
36:52It never sticks to the frying pan.
36:54No.
36:56So, how I like me scrambled egg,
36:58and they're fabulous,
37:00I put real butter in the pan
37:02and then I crack the eggs in
37:04as if I'm doing a fried egg.
37:06I don't scramble them before I put them in.
37:08And just as they're starting to cook,
37:10then I scramble it into the butter.
37:12On Thursday, RTE1's Primetime
37:14showed us some skin care routines
37:16from a very unlikely source.
37:18Tonight, pre-teens,
37:20elaborate skin care routines,
37:22social media influencers
37:24and high-end brands
37:26putting massive pressure on young children.
37:28Please God tell me this is not happening in Ireland.
37:30A new social media trend
37:32has led to children as young as five
37:34adopting complex and expensive skin care
37:36routines.
37:38It's a new trend.
37:40Five?!
37:42There's fucking kids starving.
37:44And they're getting bleeding skin care.
37:46Experts have raised serious concerns
37:48about the development,
37:50saying it's leading children
37:52to become more self-obsessed,
37:54more anxious and also causing
37:56problems with their skin.
37:58I didn't even wash my face when I was that age.
38:00You run out of bed,
38:02take the crusties out of your eyes,
38:04get dressed, horse weed
38:06and mix it in your throat and off you go to school.
38:08Retinol, salicylic acid,
38:10niacinamide.
38:12These may sound fresh from a science lab,
38:14but children put these ingredients
38:16on their faces every day.
38:18It's probably too early to make a judgement on this
38:20because when they're in their 40s
38:22they could still look like they're 20.
38:26Are you saying all of this
38:28is worth it because they look well?
38:30Well, it's too early to jump to conclusions.
38:32We met the beauty experts who see this craze
38:34first-hand at an event for the Liberties Festival.
38:36That's Mead Street!
38:38Co-owner Michelle has a 10-year-old daughter,
38:40Josie.
38:42So Josie would have a really big interest
38:44in beauty.
38:46Michelle, you look gorgeous!
38:48This is Laneige.
38:50I like Laneige and I wanted
38:52a little lip mask that I have.
38:54I remember for my confirmation I thought
38:56I was the absolute shit
38:58because I was allowed to wear glitter hairspray.
39:00I think it's very worrying.
39:02I think we're just encouraging children
39:04to become more and more self-obsessed.
39:06We're adding to anxiety,
39:08allowing this, and we're causing
39:10problems with their skin as well.
39:12The best thing for skin, a bit of wind,
39:14a bit of rain, a bit of hard work.
39:16Retinol is a cream
39:18for treating skin conditions but has
39:20an anti-ageing benefit that's irresistible
39:22to Gen Alpha.
39:24What's retinol?
39:26Should you use retinol? I bought it for you.
39:28Did I?
39:30What do I do with it?
39:32Put it on your face.
39:3411-year-old Zoe is an influencer from Florida
39:36with over 35,000 followers
39:38on Instagram.
39:40I'm going to do a content
39:42of me using a face cloth to wash my face.
39:44It might actually
39:46benefit it for the long run.
39:48Is that a body garbicider?
39:50I'd say the way he's
39:52making lots of money off it, that's who he is.
39:54The Tala University Hospital study
39:56revealed the average cost of a product
39:58is €28.39.
40:00I just ain't going to turn off
40:02the internet in my house. I don't want my kids looking at that.
40:04Spending
40:06€30 on a little bottle
40:08of shite.
40:10Did you have moisturiser when you were a kid?
40:12I didn't have fucking underpants. Would you stop, for Jesus' sake?
40:18In Carlo...
40:20If a giraffe was to put a tie on,
40:22whereabouts on its neck would it put it?
40:24Mates Greg, John
40:26and Eric.
40:28Or a real low down?
40:30Low down, I think.
40:32I think real high up.
40:36I'd say it depends on the event.
40:40This week, we logged on to
40:42Paramount Plus to watch their innovative
40:44new take on the traditional
40:46dating show.
40:48A daring dating experience
40:50is about to begin.
40:52Not another dating experience.
40:54What can they do differently now?
40:56These ten singles
40:58are all fed up with the world
41:00of dating. They're taking their search
41:02for love to a whole new level
41:06by bearing all.
41:08Oh
41:10my God.
41:12In the nip? I can't even get in the nip
41:14with you when we're married. Do you actually see
41:16like willies and stuff?
41:18Some willies and fannies.
41:20Yes, yes.
41:22We kept a close eye on the brave
41:24contestants as they slowly
41:26began to arrive at the villa.
41:32My name's Mike. I'm currently working
41:34as a holiday rep between Magaluf
41:36and Ibiza.
41:38Now let's see what you've got.
41:40Whoa, get them off you boy.
41:42He has a better arse than me, I'll give him that.
41:44He's not got an arse.
41:46No, he's got a hole in the bottom of my back.
41:48Hi, you all right?
41:50Hi, you guys.
41:52Can I give you a cuddle?
41:54Yeah, yeah.
41:56Jesus, I don't know where to look.
41:58What's your name, sorry?
42:00Oh, I didn't even get to know your name, sorry.
42:02Mike. Mike.
42:04Mike. Mike.
42:06Mike. Mike.
42:08Mike. Mike.
42:10Hi, I'm sorry.
42:12Oh, I didn't even get to know your name, sorry.
42:14My name's Mike. What's yours?
42:16Teagan. Teagan, nice to meet you.
42:18I'd say after about ten minutes, you'll be grand.
42:20Do you know once the initial scarlet kind of buzz is gone.
42:22Teagan is a bit of me.
42:24Brunette, hourglass figure,
42:26and she is definitely someone.
42:28Oh my God, it looks like it's melting off him.
42:30Don't sit like that.
42:32Jesus.
42:34It's like a fucking battered sausage.
42:36LAUGHTER
42:38Romeo is definitely my type,
42:40but I would go for dark, handsome,
42:42he has the tattoos.
42:44You do just look directly at it, don't you?
42:46Absolutely.
42:48I don't want to look, but I'm looking.
42:50The reason I want to date naked is because
42:52this is something that's never been done before.
42:54He is, um...
42:56Oh, God, no.
42:58Oh, my Lord.
43:00How are you? Is he all right?
43:02Oh, my God, no, it's the hugging.
43:04I know.
43:06Like, where does it go?
43:08It's all right for the girls to stand there,
43:10but, like, if the lads get aroused,
43:12it's so obvious, like,
43:14they can't hide it.
43:16It's like, think of something else, think of something else.
43:18Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies.
43:20LAUGHTER
43:22The show greeted us
43:24with a familiar face,
43:26charged with controlling proceedings.
43:28Oi, oi, daters.
43:30Oh, Rylan, please get naked.
43:32I love Rylan.
43:34He's not going to get naked. Well, he should.
43:36We're about to find out if dating naked
43:38is going to work for you guys.
43:40CHEERING
43:42The teens he gets roped into presenting, God bless him.
43:44I know, like, he literally started off X Factor
43:46and now he's looking at people's tits.
43:48Later in the show, we watched Emily and Billy
43:50nip out for a romantic ride
43:52through the countryside.
43:54Oh, I'm shitting it.
43:56You'll be fine, you'll be fine, you'll be fine.
43:58On a horse?! That's a yeast infection waiting to happen.
44:00Give her some knickers.
44:02Oh, my God, my foot don't fit in here.
44:04Don't sit on your ghoulies.
44:06Oh, jeez.
44:08What you want to do now is put your hands in
44:10and pull Everton up out of the way
44:12and then lay it back down and away you go into horsey.
44:14You must have been practising.
44:16Giddy-up, horsey.
44:18I've never done it before and I wouldn't think the first time I'd do it.
44:20With your willy out? Yeah.
44:22It's going to be a very sweaty, stinking saddle afterwards.
44:24Oh, God.
44:26I wonder, would you have to put sunscreen on your ding-dong?
44:28I'd say so before you turned her.
44:32We were glued to our screens
44:34as the show's final scene
44:36promised to send one contestant packing.
44:38Oh, would they pick among themselves?
44:40Oh, this is brutal.
44:42Mm. Wouldn't you be courageous if you first thought you got naked for nothing?
44:44I know, yeah.
44:46Dominic, if you vote
44:48for either Rico
44:50or Dan,
44:52they will be going home.
44:54Poor Dan
44:56looks like he's ready to
44:58ball his lumps out.
45:00The boy that I do want to dump
45:02from the house is...
45:08I'm so sorry, Rico.
45:12Rico was too cocky.
45:18Goodbye.
45:20Take your willy with you.
45:22I feel I've been extremely outdone by tonight.
45:24I'm absolutely gutted.
45:26I think they should do one of those for over-60s.
45:28Oh, stop, will you?
45:30Be beautiful, Chloe.
45:32So many wrinkles.
45:34Stop, stop, stop.
45:36I feel sick before I do now.
45:38In a perfect world
45:42In a perfect world
45:46In a perfect world
45:48In a perfect world
45:54In a perfect world
45:58In a perfect world
46:02In a perfect
46:04perfect world