Kevin Reacts to Still Game S8E5 | Pie
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00:00Hello everybody, welcome back to the channel, my name's Kevin, I'm a geek, you're watching
00:15Kevin the Geek and it's been a very, very busy first week to the channel for the month
00:22of September.
00:23So thank you to everyone who of course has been watching and subscribing and everything.
00:28So obviously later on today I've got my video where I respond to your comments, so make
00:33sure you come back later on at 5 o'clock and you'll be able to see me respond to comments
00:38left on the last month.
00:39And of course on Friday, the Inbetweeners return to the channel with the first episode
00:44of Series 2.
00:45However, I have released every one of the six episodes for Series 2 all early on the
00:53Patreon.
00:54So if you want to see all of them early, you can head on over there and you can see every
00:58single episode of the second series right now.
01:01But for now, we're back with Steel Game, it is Series 8, it is Episode 5, and this one
01:07is apparently called Pie.
01:09If it's not about a pie, I'm going to be annoyed.
01:25What is that?
01:27It is the future.
01:28That's not the future, that's a Dalek.
01:31Let me paint you a scenario.
01:33I'm serving somebody.
01:35There are two people behind in the queue.
01:37Raging because some doddery old fart is going through her purse, looking for ones and twos
01:42to pay for her eggs.
01:4472, 78, 73.
01:50The guy behind is shouting, I only came in for pipe cleaners.
01:53And I say, oh, calm the beans.
01:56The scanner will attend to you.
01:58The future is here.
02:00Star Trek shit.
02:02So it's to make things easier.
02:04In theory.
02:13She's saying, have a go.
02:15Basically.
02:24Hello there.
02:26Oh, my God.
02:28Please scan your item.
02:35Not good.
02:40There you go.
02:4180p.
02:42You got anything nice for your holiday?
02:45Oh, my God.
02:4780p for beans, that's expensive.
02:50Dear Mackey, my girl has got Crohn's disease.
02:55I don't like her, Naveed.
02:57She's a bit of a loose.
02:59No, you're right.
03:00Maybe we should wait until next year when they update it to the Gabshie 3000.
03:08There we are.
03:11What can I get for you?
03:12Hello, Sandra.
03:13Oh, hello, Peggy.
03:15Some queue.
03:16Oh, it's always murder on a Thursday.
03:18How's your day been?
03:20He's still got that flesh-eating bug.
03:23You can actually see his kneecap now.
03:25Oh, lovely.
03:28I love a flesh-eating story.
03:30Just when I'm about to buy some fresh flesh for the future.
03:33Why?
03:34Makes your mouth water, doesn't it?
03:36I like the flood you get just before you hook up.
03:38Are you in for much?
03:39No, just a steak pie.
03:41Which will probably be away by the time I get to the front.
03:45Ah, well, I'll take that steak pie for Peggy.
03:48No.
03:49You can pay me in a minute, hen.
03:50She's at the back of the queue.
03:51Wait a minute, we've walked all the way over here for a steak pie.
03:53Aye, and then this chanty rascal whips in and steals it from underneath my nose.
03:56Keep your hair on, boys.
03:58There'll be a fresh batch tomorrow.
04:00No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:04No, I am sorry.
04:06She is at the back of the queue.
04:08If you're not ordering it for yourself, then you're not allowed to have it.
04:13That's my personal opinion.
04:14Because if they want it, they should be the ones to have it,
04:16because they got there first, before Peggy.
04:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:20I'm sorry.
04:21No, that annoys me.
04:23You know, we as British people, we like the queue.
04:27It is an orderly fashion.
04:29You do it so it is controlled.
04:32You don't just butt in.
04:36Walked all the way over here for a steak pie.
04:37Aye, and then this chanty rascal whips in and steals it from underneath my nose.
04:41Keep your hair on, boys.
04:42There'll be a fresh batch tomorrow.
04:44Queue jumper.
04:45I am not a queue jumper.
04:47Yes, you are.
04:48My friend extended a generosity, and I graciously took it.
04:53Well, you can graciously go and take a running fuck.
04:55Four sausages, Bill.
04:56Easy, Jack.
04:57You're still queue jumping, you greedy big bat.
05:00And a chance round, please.
05:02Are you not going to say something?
05:04Jack, Victor, I'm not bothering you, see?
05:07Next week, I'll be in Fingerola, sipping a beer and tanning my head,
05:13so don't stress me before I go, eh?
05:15You're going to need a better system than this, Billy.
05:17You can't just olive-pick out the queue like that, you know.
05:20Cherry.
05:21Look at that, see?
05:22Move!
05:23Thank you, Billy.
05:24I'll pay for them.
05:25Mrs. Watson.
05:26There we are.
05:29Thank you, my dear.
05:31Ah, Mr. Sheathing.
05:32How's things on the funeral trade?
05:34People still dying to get in, eh?
05:36Ah-ha, dying to get in.
05:38Very good, Billy.
05:40Billy, can I trouble you for a pork chop?
05:42Oh, you certainly can.
05:44Here, there's a nice big one here, look.
05:47You have that on the house.
05:49Tell you what, that might buy me a wee bit more time, eh?
05:54He's not deaf.
05:57Mrs. Ponner, what can I get for you?
06:00Four valentine chops, two slices of raw beef ham,
06:03six slices of lorne, and a packet of tatty scones,
06:07and one of the huge bones for Rusty.
06:10Well, loves them.
06:11Likes to chew them into wee bits to get to the marra.
06:18Oh, son.
06:19Oh!
06:20You'll now see the marra.
06:24Maybe he is deaf after all.
06:28So see this wee knobbly bit?
06:30It goes in the opposite end of the splendid bit.
06:32Scan it, love.
06:33Scan it.
06:34I am scanning it.
06:35Well, you know scanning it.
06:36If you are scanning it, it will be beeping.
06:38Beep.
06:40You, love, you don't go beep.
06:41The machine goes beep.
06:42It's not going beep.
06:44Please scan your item.
06:45Maynard!
06:46Pardon, Levite.
06:47Oh, goodness.
06:48Thanks, Dad.
06:51Please scan your...
06:52Oh, that's smashing, son.
06:55In my day, we went to Curly's
06:57and a lovely man with a white coat behind the counter
07:00would get everything for you.
07:03I remember Curly's, eh?
07:06OK, so let's put the money in here.
07:08How much?
07:09Jesus.
07:12Just the one.
07:15In there.
07:19Don't nick it, Tam.
07:21I suppose this is the way things will be going from now on.
07:25Yeah.
07:26It'll be spaceships for taxis next.
07:28I won't be around to see that.
07:31I'm 92.
07:32Oh, come on now.
07:34I haven't seen you in here before.
07:36What's your name?
07:37Maggie.
07:38Maggie Stoddart.
07:39Stoddart.
07:40Maggie Stoddart.
07:43Have you got a daughter?
07:44Aye.
07:45Cathy Stoddart?
07:46That's her.
07:47I was at school with Cathy.
07:49How's she doing?
07:50She's a bastard.
07:53I've got to give that.
07:55Small world, the way.
07:57Right, let's get you home.
07:59Thank you, son.
08:00I'll get these.
08:01Oh, that's awfully kind of you, son.
08:03Not at all.
08:04Come on.
08:05That's not like Tam.
08:06Why, to be nice.
08:08Computer, four bog rolls, please.
08:10Oh, suffering curse.
08:13See, my daughter Cathy,
08:15she was to take me to the big supermarket today,
08:18but oh, not her.
08:20I can't, Mum.
08:21I'm too busy, Mum.
08:23Not only that, but I bought her a bloody car in the first place.
08:28Take, take, take.
08:29That's her.
08:30And Cathy lives with you.
08:32No, just me on my own,
08:34rattling around in that bloody barn.
08:38Who needs four floors at my age, anyway?
08:42She's just waiting for me to die so she can get the lot.
08:47But what can I do?
08:48Oh, what can you do?
08:51This is awfully good of you, son.
08:53No, no, not at all.
08:55Tam, you're already married.
08:56You can't get her money.
08:57She should keep up with the supermarket butcher.
08:59At least they let you have a number.
09:01And then your number comes up later on.
09:0242, 43, 44, and I'm like,
09:04oh, I've got 45, I'm next.
09:06Then Peggy starts yakking a number 44
09:08and pumps you out the last steak pie, eh?
09:10See, she's always been like that.
09:12She's a big rat bastard.
09:14Is that Tam?
09:17Tam.
09:19Oh, there's my pals.
09:20Excuse me, Maggie.
09:23Jack, Victor.
09:24Are you not going to introduce us
09:26to your extremely elderly companion?
09:28Eh, no.
09:30What?
09:31Don't be so rude.
09:33That's Maggie.
09:34She's family.
09:35Nearly family.
09:36She's a pal of my auntie's.
09:38What auntie?
09:39Well, technically no, my auntie.
09:41You know when you know someone really well
09:43but they're not exactly family?
09:45It's an affectionate term you use to somebody
09:47you know awful, awful, awful, awful well
09:49and you would say,
09:51hello, auntie.
09:53Aye, whatever I call Bobie,
09:55Auntie Bobie.
09:57Always nice to meet you.
09:59Always nice to meet yous too.
10:03Something's up with Tam.
10:05What was that, Twilight Zone pish?
10:06Not a clue.
10:08Miss Billie the Butcher did.
10:10What?
10:11Why?
10:12We were only talking to him ten minutes ago.
10:14Killed her.
10:15It was an ambulance taking him to the hospital
10:18but he was blue.
10:23So, what do you think?
10:25It's a bollocks, eh?
10:26Oh, aye.
10:27It was a time saver, no mistake.
10:29Nae messing about waiting in queues.
10:32Bippity-boppity-boo, that's how you served it.
10:35Billy, enjoy.
10:36Any problems, I'm right here.
10:38There'll no be any problems.
10:40My head's no buttoned up the back.
10:42Aye, my boy showed me how to work these.
10:45Now, uh, where's the keyboard?
10:48Keyboard?
10:49So I can walk in and find out what time the swimming's open.
10:52You don't even have a sauna.
10:54Sauna?
10:55You're making me sweat.
10:56There's no the bastard internet.
10:58Well, what is it then?
10:59It is to facilitate your shopping experience.
11:02Oh, aye.
11:03Of course there is.
11:04Of course there is.
11:05What am I jumbling?
11:06I was about to type in
11:08www.scottsandbaths.
11:13Right, I'll put in my card and I'll throw it 20
11:16and I'll check my bank balance.
11:20That's my superannuation.
11:22Naveed is going to smash it up.
11:25He's going to give up.
11:27By, well, probably before the end of the episode.
11:31It's a good idea in theory,
11:34but with the amount of the elderly that's in the area,
11:38he's just asking for trouble.
11:40Hold on.
11:41Royal Bank of Scotland.
11:42I told you already, you doddery old tit.
11:45It's to facilitate your shopping experience.
11:47In fact, why don't you let me facilitate your arse out the door?
11:51Whoa!
11:52Hang on, Naveed.
11:55That was 30 years before I was there.
11:57Aye.
11:58There'll probably be a tanning salon next week.
12:02The end of an era.
12:06I'm going to miss them steak pies.
12:08Jack.
12:09What?
12:10The man's not even called
12:11and you're thinking about your stomach.
12:13Well, that's what the man was.
12:15That's what he represented to us.
12:17When Roger Moore died, everybody went,
12:19oh, there's James Bond did.
12:21True.
12:22When Peter Sellers died,
12:23everybody went, oh, there's Inspector Clouseau did.
12:25So now that Billy's died, everybody will say,
12:27oh, there's the steak pies died.
12:30Or the butcher.
12:32I get your logic.
12:34That gravy.
12:36All the sausages are through it.
12:38And the crust.
12:40Golden.
12:41Well fired.
12:44It was a thing of beauty.
12:46A work of art.
12:48Well, there's no shame in the fact that that's Billy's legacy.
12:52I'm going to miss them.
12:54It.
12:55Him.
12:56Billy.
12:57Mind you, Jack.
13:00There's one batch left.
13:02Billy used to make his pies in the morning for the next day.
13:06That's how that meat was so tender.
13:08Oh.
13:09We get ourselves down there tomorrow morning pronto.
13:11Oh.
13:12We get a couple each.
13:14I think there's going to be a lot of people.
13:17If the pies are as good as they seem to suggest they are,
13:20there's going to be a lot of people fighting to get them last pies.
13:23Mr Freezer.
13:25Aye.
13:27Mark is passing by stuffing up our faces.
13:30That's respect, Victor.
13:34Do you all think it's a bit grisly?
13:36No.
13:37There was never any gristle in them.
13:41There you go.
13:43Yep, told you.
13:45Hurry, boys.
13:46Billy's pies are going fast.
13:48Last batch ever.
13:49Martin's gone.
13:50Steak, mince, chops.
13:52It's to be a tanning salon as of next week.
13:55See?
13:56There's nothing to lose.
13:57Move!
14:00Oh, don't chance it.
14:02It's pandemonium.
14:03Winston, have you been crying?
14:04No.
14:05Some old bitch grabbed a lovely beef brisket out of my pot and then pepper-sprayed me.
14:10I mean, that's cold.
14:12Oh.
14:14Jesus, it's like Saigon in there.
14:16The kind of game you ever get killed.
14:18What's this?
14:22Has anybody seen my grandson, Christopher?
14:25Where are you, sir?
14:26He's only five.
14:27Blond hair, blue eyes.
14:28Used to be a thing.
14:29Christopher, where are you, darling?
14:31Oh, check the flare.
14:32He may have been trampled.
14:35Oh, well, he must be up the park playing.
14:37Hang on, sorry.
14:38I missed that.
14:39I didn't hear what they said.
14:40Christopher, where are you, darling?
14:41Oh, check the flare.
14:42He may have been trampled.
14:44Oh, may have been trampled.
14:45Oh, well, he must be up the park playing.
14:47Jesus Christ, please.
14:52Oh, my word.
14:53Oh.
14:54He was a butterfield for camp.
14:56Billy would be turning in his grave.
14:58Don't talk piss.
14:59He only died yesterday.
15:01Wouldn't have wanted this.
15:02He would.
15:03He was our lastest.
15:05He's turning sausages.
15:06You know what I like back here?
15:08I've got a cattle prod.
15:09He's a vampire.
15:11No, no, no, the big one, son, the big one.
15:13Shit.
15:14Boy, get back.
15:15Don't you dare turn around my pocketbook.
15:17Leave it.
15:18Can I get it?
15:21Take it.
15:22Get out.
15:23Run.
15:24Run for your lives.
15:25He's turning sausages.
15:27And I'll torch your bastard house.
15:41I've got a little lamb.
15:42A whole little lamb.
15:45Give me that.
16:07I'm sorry.
16:08I'm sorry.
16:15Oh, my word.
16:18Oh, my word.
16:27Oh, trust the police.
16:29Not to contract a piece, but literally to get one of the last pieces.
16:36Aah.
16:37My chest.
16:38My chest.
16:44Oh, try and breathe.
16:45Four people arrested in a bloody boot shot.
16:48Aye.
16:50I think he was cautioned for inciting a riot.
16:55Obie, Winston Shug.
16:57This is Maggie.
16:59Hello, Maggie.
16:59Hello.
17:01Lovely to meet you.
17:03Obie, furnishes with two pie and beans.
17:05I'll have a lager.
17:07And what are you for, Maggie?
17:09An advocate.
17:10Advocate?
17:12Very sophisticated.
17:14I think I've got a bottle somewhere.
17:17Why don't you take a seat, my dear?
17:18I'll bring it over.
17:19Who has apricots?
17:20It's not Christmas.
17:23How are they?
17:24Oh, my.
17:26I've never seen a day like this.
17:30And it's a real one.
17:32I can close early.
17:33I don't think it's his, though.
17:35Tam has went into Tam's pocket, pulled out Tam's money,
17:38and Tam's using it to pay for Tam's order.
17:40Oh, is he paying with Maggie's money?
17:41Oh.
17:42Yay.
17:47Is this your new thing, Tam?
17:49Grabbing grannies.
17:51Wee, dusty threesome with Francis.
17:55Yeah, where is Francis?
17:56I've not seen Francis in ages.
17:59Have we even seen her since the show came back?
18:03I can't even remember.
18:05Because we're nearly at the end of series eight, aren't we?
18:07So this is the second one since it came back.
18:12I can't remember if we've seen her or not.
18:13If we haven't, then literally last time we saw her
18:15was at the end of the original run,
18:18where she had the baby.
18:21Dare you, Shug.
18:23Your irreverence is as big as your bastard lugs.
18:27See this?
18:29This isn't just a ring.
18:30This is a symbol of fidelity.
18:33I was at school with a daughter.
18:35All that woman's looking for is a friend,
18:37and I am fulfilling that task.
18:41You disgust me.
18:44Make sure I get my change, Bobby.
18:48Is it his money or hers?
18:49That's me told.
18:50It's still a great day.
18:53Tam spending his own money.
18:55It's not a great day, Bobby.
18:58See if he'd walked in here,
19:00and he tried to wheedle that old dear into paying for his pie,
19:03I wouldn't have raised an eyebrow,
19:05because that's regular, Tam.
19:07But this, Tam, this is creepy, Tam.
19:10Yeah.
19:12See, that behaviour there was an investment.
19:14An investment?
19:15For a greater return.
19:17He's descended to a whole other level.
19:20Mm.
19:21Found it.
19:23Oh.
19:33See what I mean?
19:35Every Christmas, it goes off.
19:40I swear, I swear my mum had a bottle of avocado
19:44in her liquor cupboard.
19:46Cupboarder.
19:47That was a bit weird.
19:48Yeah, I swear she had one.
19:50And I swear it was the same bottle
19:53once it was open for, like, 20-odd years.
19:56Does it even go off?
19:57Because it looks like it would,
19:59because it's more of, like, a creamy-based one, isn't it?
20:02Tam.
20:04Advocate.
20:06Thank you, barkeep.
20:08I mean, who the hell drinks that, anyway?
20:10God, it's a Christmas drink, isn't it?
20:11Exactly!
20:12With lemonade, snowball.
20:13Wee woman.
20:14Doesn't he look like she's going to see another Christmas?
20:21Hmph.
20:25See that steak pie we were sitting on?
20:27Do you not feel a bit funny about it?
20:29How so?
20:30Well, the size of that pie.
20:32We're a wee desperate dine-a-wobbly.
20:34And the poor guy that made it digested it.
20:37I'm no gee the shudders.
20:39Let me think.
20:41Does taking a big spoon
20:42and cracking through that award-winning crust
20:44and lifting out the tenderest hunk of hot beef
20:47ensconced in the finest gravy known to man
20:50gee me the shudders?
20:52No.
20:53Yes, it does, Jack.
20:54The shudders of delight.
20:55Oh, well.
20:56Billy's deed, we'll know.
20:58We'll annihilate that delicious bastard this evening.
21:02They could probably have two meals out of it.
21:07All right, Wenson.
21:08You what?
21:10To ask you something.
21:11I have a question.
21:13Go well.
21:14Do yous think that Tam could be capable
21:17of murdering an old woman for money?
21:20Yes.
21:22He could.
21:24No.
21:25Black gloves, silkscarves for strangling,
21:27and of course, bin bags for disposal all cost money.
21:30And that there is the only reason
21:32that Tam hasn't murdered anybody so far.
21:34Aye.
21:35You're right enough.
21:36I'm going to have my head ignored, mate.
21:37Am I getting a cup of tea or what?
21:38Aye, well, you know where the kettle is, don't you?
21:45Well done, bud, Jack.
21:47That was an awfully queer caper, eh?
21:48With that old dame that Tam was with, mate.
21:50Aye, him making out she was some sort of auntie.
21:53Who do you think he's up to?
21:56You're out of tea bags.
21:57Eh, doesnae matter.
21:58I'm going for a pint anyway.
21:59Erm...
22:01He's got his hands in his pocket, very weird.
22:04He hasn't nicked that pie, has he?
22:08Yeah, I think he has.
22:10I bought tea bags yesterday.
22:12Oh.
22:20We're no out of tea bags, Jack.
22:22We're out of pie.
22:26It's fine.
22:27It's all right.
22:27No!
22:30What's your hurry, Winston?
22:31Oh!
22:32I'm starving.
22:33If it's any of your business, Peggy.
22:34That's a fine-looking pie you've got there.
22:38Oh!
22:38Yes, you're quite right.
22:39It is a fine-looking pie.
22:40Out my way.
22:41Is it one of Billy's pies?
22:43He did make a fine pie.
22:45God rest him.
22:46It'd be a real shame if anything was to happen to that pie.
22:50Oh!
22:51Something is going to happen to this pie.
22:52It's going down my neck.
22:53Move!
22:54That's a fast pie, boy.
22:55Here, now.
22:56What is this?
22:58No, no.
22:59Hold on.
23:00Wait a minute.
23:00No, no, no.
23:01I'm in it.
23:02Two women.
23:03Shut your hole.
23:04I've nae chance.
23:06I'm trying to hold on to the pie
23:07and Peggy's pummeling my guts like Jake LaMotta.
23:11Then the other one, she's crouched down behind me
23:12and boof, Peggy shoved me on my arse.
23:15Oof.
23:16Double-teamed and pie-less.
23:19Right you, you sticky-fingered bastard, you.
23:23You're too late.
23:25Oh!
23:29Shoot.
23:31Hello, Naveed.
23:33Tam.
23:34I'm planning on taking a lady friend for a dinner.
23:37And I was looking to impress her.
23:39You know, picking her up, wrapping her up.
23:41I don't like this, Tam.
23:42I was wondering,
23:44are you using the cash and carry van tonight?
23:46A lady friend?
23:47The Disney Frances?
23:48You're doggy.
23:49Come on, now.
23:51It's not like that.
23:52I know her daughter.
23:54She's a bastard, the Disney want to get near her.
23:57She's only got a cat.
23:59Poor woman's got nobody.
24:00Nobody but you.
24:03You're up to something.
24:04Yeah.
24:05People are talking.
24:06To be fair, most of that's me, but still.
24:08I know that woman, Maggis Todart.
24:11And I also know she's got a hell of a lot of money.
24:15Now, if you are planning to take advantage of that woman,
24:18then that is a new low, even for you, Tam Mullen.
24:22Where have you got to save yourself?
24:28Can I have the keys, please, Navit?
24:36You'll need to take the boxes out the back.
24:38Weave us girly whirlies in that.
24:40Okay.
24:42Hey, rollie.
24:52Hello, Peggy.
24:53Jack, Vector.
24:55She better not have eaten it already.
24:56What can I do for you?
24:57Well, actually, Martin, it's nothing.
25:00It's a neighbourhood watch thing, really,
25:02is what we're dealing with.
25:04Oh, yeah, that does look kind of fabulous.
25:06You know, a watch like that.
25:09It's a neighborhood watch thing, really, is what we're doing.
25:12Neighborhood watch?
25:13In Craigland?
25:15Yep.
25:15Watching what?
25:16Folk getting their windows smashed?
25:18Yep.
25:19And then Ed's...
25:19Well, no, it's just started, and we're in charge.
25:21Jack Jarvis, Esquire, and my assistant,
25:23General Helper, Dog's Body, um...
25:27effectively dead.
25:28I know who ye's are, but is it ye want?
25:31There was a mugging yesterday.
25:32It was Winston Ingram, our good friend.
25:35The two perpetrators of this mugging are still at large.
25:39Terrible.
25:40I'll keep an eye out.
25:42What did they look like?
25:43Well, one of them was a big gorilla bastard.
25:45Yeah.
25:46A big sasquatch.
25:47A behemoth.
25:48Monster-like.
25:49An ugly big bald-faced thieving sewer rat.
25:53And the other one?
25:55Human.
25:56Normal-looking.
25:57Tiny.
25:58Petite.
25:59Pretty, almost.
26:04Oh!
26:06Ed.
26:07There's nothing in your fridge, Peggy.
26:09Looking for the steak pie, Winston?
26:12Maybe.
26:12You're too late.
26:13I gave it away.
26:15To who?
26:16That was your pie.
26:17You see, you probably think I've got a swinging brick for a hat.
26:20No, that's your right fist.
26:23I gave it to somebody who needed it more than me.
26:26Who?
26:28You want a pie with it?
26:30No, I'm all right for pie.
26:32Oh!
26:34Are you slabbering, Bobby?
26:36Oh!
26:37Yes, Vic.
26:40How much you want for the...
26:41That's money.
26:43A man is a successor who gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night
26:48and in between does what he wants to do.
26:52Robert Alan Zimmerman, otherwise known as your namesake,
26:55Bobby Dylan.
26:58Twenty quid?
26:59Done.
27:07Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door.
27:11Don't you mean oven's door?
27:13Sure.
27:16Please scan your item.
27:19Please scan your item.
27:21Bastard!
27:23Please scan your item.
27:27Please scan your item.
27:29I'm broken, Isa.
27:31I thought I was doing a good thing.
27:33I'm taking Zexley down.
27:35I know you meant well, Naveed,
27:36but the majority of your customers are a good age.
27:40You don't want to be dealing with a robot.
27:43Scanners?
27:44Well, you know what I mean.
27:46They come in here for a wee bit of chat, you know?
27:49How you doing?
27:50How's the weather?
27:52You might be the only person they see all day.
27:55A wee bit of social interaction's important to them at that age.
27:59Your scanner took that away.
28:03Please scan your item.
28:05She looks like she's drinking.
28:08Please scan your item.
28:19Excuse me, love.
28:20What do you mean?
28:21Community service.
28:22Oh, right.
28:26Please scan your item.
28:29My item today is a cricket bat.
28:32Oh, my!
28:33Scan this, you bastard!
28:42I mean, you could have got your buddy back.
28:44Or maybe.
28:46Mac?
28:48Jack.
28:49Victor.
28:50Winston.
28:51Pie?
28:52I've no go to pie.
28:54Where is it, then?
28:56Damn!
28:57There they are.
28:59What?
29:00Those are stolen goods.
29:02That was tasty goods.
29:04No!
29:06Don't tell me you ate a lot.
29:08I tried, but I couldn't manage it.
29:10I tanned half of it, and as delicious as it was, it beat me.
29:14So the other half, I just scraped into the bin.
29:18No!
29:19You lousy, greedy, skinny, fat bastard.
29:21No, no.
29:23Tell me you're joking.
29:25I'm joking.
29:27I thought we could see Billy half in style.
29:29So it's in the oven.
29:30And it's just about ready to come out as well.
29:33Wow.
29:34What a guy.
29:37Ah.
29:38What's going on here?
29:39Free scrant?
29:40What are you needing free scrant for?
29:42You're going to be padded in a wee while.
29:44Eh?
29:45You're waiting for that nice wee old woman to croak it,
29:48so that you can get her money.
29:49Well, as it so happens, she croaked today.
29:53Took her to the pictures last night,
29:54and when I went round there this morning,
29:56she'd died peacefully in her sleep.
29:58Ah.
29:59No, before I got her to change her will.
30:01You dirty bastard.
30:03You're not sitting with us.
30:04Well, well, well, did you want to hear the full story
30:06before nailing me to the cross?
30:07Yes.
30:11Maggie's daughter stood to inherit everything.
30:14Aye.
30:15The house, money, paintings, the lot.
30:17Thing is, Maggie's daughter, Kathy, is an arsehole.
30:22Yeah?
30:23I went to school with her.
30:25When I was ten, I had a cat called Frosty.
30:29Now, Frosty scratched her one day when she went to pet him.
30:32Was Frosty great?
30:33Absolutely raging.
30:35So, when the summer holidays came,
30:38you know what she did?
30:40She ran a mower on her bike.
30:43Twice.
30:44Damn.
30:45So...
30:46I mean, I don't like cats.
30:48I would do that, though.
30:50I convinced Maggie to rethink her will.
30:53She left a lot to the...
30:55Oh!
30:57Hang on, what?
30:58I've lost sound.
30:59Hang on.
31:00...bike.
31:01Twice.
31:03So...
31:04I convinced Maggie to rethink her will.
31:08She left a lot to the Cat Protection League.
31:12Oh!
31:13Kathy?
31:14Get yee-haw!
31:17What did you get?
31:19What did you get?
31:20Oh, nothing.
31:21I say nothing, but...
31:24This wee fella here...
31:26Oh!
31:27...Maggie's pride and joy.
31:30She looks lovely.
31:36What is that?
31:38That's the pie.
31:41Or rather, it's a display pie.
31:44The sort of thing you'd put in the windy of a butcher's
31:48to encourage people to buy real pies.
31:50Oh!
31:51That's a plastic pie.
31:53Not a pair of pies.
31:56Damn!
31:59Bloody hell!
32:18Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-ba!
32:26That's a wee cat, that.
32:28What are you gonna call it?
32:30Well, it's no up to me now.
32:32Hi, Tam.
32:33Oh, hello, Lenny.
32:34Have you got it?
32:35There we are.
32:36Siamese.
32:37Pure bread, through and through.
32:39150 quid.
32:40That's what we said.
32:41Come on now, Lenny.
32:42200's what we said.
32:45Cheers.
32:46Of course.
32:47Happy catting.
32:51What?
32:52Have you seen the price of cat litter?
32:58Oh, my word.
33:03Oh, that episode.
33:05That took us in many, many different directions throughout that.
33:11I mean, first of all, I've said it before on the channel.
33:16I'm gonna say it again now.
33:18Never underestimate Bobby.
33:21Bobby always manages to turn out to be the heart of the community.
33:29That, I think, was an amazing thing to do.
33:34To say, his final pie, we're gonna all sit down together.
33:39We're all gonna enjoy it together.
33:41Celebrate his life and his work.
33:47I mean, nice twist by putting it out to be a display pie.
33:53I mean, at first I thought he burnt it.
33:55I thought he literally put the oven on too high
33:57and he literally just cremated it or whatever.
34:00You saw the innards and it's all grey.
34:02You're like, what the hell is it?
34:04Then I'm thinking, has Peggy switched it up?
34:07Has she had the real one?
34:10She's given away the old one.
34:16I think one or whatever.
34:18To trick them so she can eat the real one.
34:20I was so confused for quite a while.
34:30I don't know.
34:31Because Peggy, she says she's giving it to someone in need.
34:35Is giving Methadone Mick a humongous pie like that?
34:42Is that necessarily the best thing for him?
34:48Wouldn't it be better?
34:50Because obviously, technically, he can't really cook it.
34:55Which, I mean, I guess in theory you can have it cold.
34:59Like that one woman did.
35:01She literally just started, she was like, I'm gonna have it cold!
35:04Started grabbing on it and munching it and everything.
35:08But yeah, giving him a pie that big.
35:11Wouldn't it be better to, you know, maybe buy him a couple of small pies?
35:17Or maybe just like once a day, buying him a bacon roll or a sausage sandwich.
35:23Or something like that.
35:25Is that not a better way of doing it?
35:27I don't know. You let me know.
35:30I love the little Naveed storyline with the self-checkout.
35:33Because, to be honest, like I said, it's going to be difficult for, you know.
35:38Because of how many old biddies you obviously have in the area.
35:41In reality, I think it is a case that even for the technical savvy amongst us.
35:53You know, I'm pretty sure most of us at some point have been in a situation
35:57Most of us at some point have been in a supermarket.
35:59Have tried to use a self-checkout.
36:01And just for whatever reason, it does not want to scan.
36:05And it is annoying as hell.
36:08And of course if you have the booze.
36:10I mean, Naveed didn't have it set up that you have to check the ID.
36:13So, you know, bad on Naveed for that.
36:18Because you need to be able to check those NEDs when they come in.
36:21Otherwise they're just going to get access to the booze when they shouldn't be.
36:26Unless, because obviously he keeps it behind the counter.
36:29Maybe he has to physically give it to them in order for them to be able to scan it.
36:34Maybe that's the way he gets around it. I don't know.
36:38For Tam...
36:46It's a nice sentiment.
36:50Was that his plan all along though?
36:52To get some money out of her?
36:56I mean, obviously he sold the cat right at the end.
36:58But was there always that intention to have a bit more out of it?
37:04I don't know.
37:07It probably was.
37:08I mean, it's Tam at the end of the day.
37:09He's always out for something.
37:11He's never going to do anything for nothing.
37:15But if his plan was to cheat his daughter out.
37:19Sorry, her daughter out from having her inheritance.
37:26I don't know.
37:30Is that morally right?
37:34If she's the only daughter.
37:39Is it fair for Tam to convince this old lady to say,
37:43No, I'm not going to give anything to my daughter.
37:47And give it all to the Cat Protection League.
37:49Yeah.
37:54Yeah, I don't know.
37:56Morally,
37:58As much as her daughter sounds like she's a bit of an arsehole.
38:03In theory, it is her inheritance.
38:05But at the same time, it's Maggie's choice what to do with it.
38:08But is he maybe taking advantage of her?
38:10Because she's a bit old and lonely.
38:12Maybe she's going a bit senile.
38:15It's one of those really awkward and difficult ones.
38:19Let me know in the comments what you think.
38:21Do you think it's morally right?
38:23Do you think he should have stayed out of it?
38:26Let me know.
38:30Particularly that whole scuffle in The Butchers.
38:33That was, again, potentially one of the best scenes of the show.
38:38Just for how much it made me laugh.
38:40That is right up there.
38:42It is up there.
38:44Now, obviously, last week I did sort of talk about
38:47maybe doing a still game quiz at the end.
38:50When the show kind of comes to an end.
38:53Nobody's really kind of come back to me.
38:55One person's kind of come back and said
38:57they'd be maybe willing to supply questions.
39:01I'm going to keep mentioning it a couple more times.
39:04See if the potential is interesting.
39:06I might put it in the community chat.
39:09If nobody really kind of comes up
39:12and says they'd like to do questions and stuff for me,
39:16maybe I will just create a video one day
39:18and I will set some questions
39:20and I'll have it for you guys
39:22and you guys can try and answer them.
39:24We'll see with that one.
39:26Because I like the idea of doing it.
39:28I think that would be a fun way
39:30particularly when the show does eventually come to an end.
39:33Next month!
39:35Next month is coming to an end.
39:37Well, next week is obviously the last episode of Series 8.
39:41And then we're on to Series 9.
39:44The final series.
39:46Literally the final series.
39:48Please do let me know
39:50is there a two-parter episode in Series 9?
39:54Because I believe there may be.
39:57There's a two-parter episode.
39:59I think I've actually brought that up
40:01in the Respondents and Comments video
40:03which comes out later on today.
40:05So let me know with that.
40:08Because that may determine
40:10my thoughts on what I do
40:12when I come to those two episodes.
40:14Because it's been suggested
40:16but it's not really been confirmed to me.
40:18So obviously without spoilers, let me know.
40:20But that's going to do it for now.
40:22So thank you very much for joining me
40:24once again for another episode of Still Game.
40:26We're on the countdown now.
40:28For now, my name's Kevin.
40:30I'm a geek.
40:32And you've been watching Kevin the Geek.
40:34Goodbye.