Surf Ninjas
Surf Ninjas
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Hey, guys, how many times I got to tell you, no Van Halen till I had my coffee.
00:00:10We already had ours.
00:00:12Guys, homework?
00:00:14Yeah.
00:00:18Hey, hey.
00:00:20Dad, I think we're falling into a rut here.
00:00:23Every day it's breakfast, did you do your homework, fight.
00:00:27Yeah, Dad, breakfast, homework, fight.
00:00:31I mean, can't we just say we love each other and have a moment?
00:00:37You're smooth, Johnny, but you're not always going to get out of life's problems with this smooth stuff.
00:00:43I love you, Dad.
00:00:45I love you, too.
00:00:49Psych.
00:00:51Guys, when I get up every morning and go to the Hamburg stand, do you know what keeps me going?
00:00:55I love you, too, Dad.
00:00:57I love you, too.
00:00:59Hey, guys, what are you going to do, are you going to drive me crazy, is that what you want to do, do you want to drive me crazy?
00:01:03No, Dad, we just want to drive, but the man won't let us.
00:01:08How can I make you guys understand you cannot live your life surfing, you need something to fall back on.
00:01:14Way ahead of you, Dad, that's why we skateboard.
00:01:18What was that?
00:01:20Some cat knocking something over.
00:01:25We have a cat?
00:01:30I'd put down a knife if I were you.
00:01:33Seriously, if you don't want chives, I won't put them in.
00:01:36Well, I want chives, bro.
00:01:38You got it.
00:01:39Iggy, you're here every morning, you're here every night.
00:01:41Don't your parents ever ask where you've been?
00:01:44Mr. McQuinn, my parents were sealed in the biosphere in Arizona.
00:01:47Mento?
00:01:48What?
00:01:49You know, the biosphere, it's like a big bubble thing in the desert, a lot of plants and animals, nobody's allowed in or out.
00:01:53Look, it would be impossible for me to explain it to a layman like yourself.
00:01:56Iggy, you know what you need, you need a professional listener.
00:01:59Well, he goes to the school streak every day.
00:02:01It's not helping.
00:02:02Beats?
00:02:04Iggy, don't your parents ever feed you, huh?
00:02:06And don't they ever provide you with clothing, except for my boxer shorts?
00:02:13These are yours?
00:02:14Yes!
00:02:16All right, Dad, see you later.
00:02:18Biosphere, good one.
00:02:20I feel one coming.
00:02:21Uh-oh, he feels one coming.
00:02:23Oh, it's a good one.
00:02:24Killer.
00:02:25It's a killer.
00:02:26Anchovy omelet.
00:02:28They came to kill the boys as I knew they would, but I was there to stop them.
00:02:34You guys are vile.
00:02:37Their past had finally caught up with them.
00:02:39All right, get out of here.
00:02:40Now the time had come to prepare them for their future.
00:02:46Moto surf!
00:02:47Moto surf!
00:02:48Moto surf!
00:02:55360!
00:02:56360!
00:03:02And dip!
00:03:03And dip!
00:03:05Oh, no, wi-fi!
00:03:06Wi-fi, no opening!
00:03:09Get down, get down!
00:03:12Adam, get down!
00:03:14Oh, they busted Jones again.
00:03:17We weren't moto surfing.
00:03:19Yeah, right.
00:03:21You know, just once, I'd like to be wrong.
00:03:25We weren't moto surfing.
00:03:27I bought a bike!
00:03:29I bought a bike!
00:03:31I bought a bike!
00:03:33I bought a bike!
00:03:35I bought a bike!
00:03:37I bought a bike!
00:03:38Shoot it!
00:03:43Oh, I need a homework alibi.
00:03:47Maybe I can tell them that I was hammered by the fact I found out I was adopted last night.
00:03:52You were adopted last night?
00:03:54Why didn't your dad just adopt you when you were a baby?
00:03:56We were adopted when we were babies.
00:04:01What if I was adopted and my dad was a really rich king and stuff?
00:04:05Oh, yeah, kings are always giving their kids up for adoption.
00:04:08Hey, if my dad was king, man, I wouldn't have to worry about my homework anymore.
00:04:13I'd definitely be out of the 11th grade.
00:04:15You know, if Lisa Kane wouldn't go out with me, in the dungeon, just like that.
00:04:19Oh, I'd love that.
00:04:20That would be the greatest.
00:04:27What's this all about?
00:04:30I'm a Belcrico de Merde.
00:04:33I was supposed to do this full-on welcoming speech for this visiting guru guy, Baba Ram,
00:04:38in assembly second period.
00:04:40Relax.
00:04:41Look, if you want to get out of it, tell them I just found out you were adopted.
00:04:46Good.
00:04:48Let me put this in your language, dude.
00:04:51This may be a pretty groovy scene for you,
00:04:55This may be a pretty groovy scene for you,
00:04:58but I take it pretty seriously.
00:05:01Are you prepared?
00:05:02I told you, Mr. Dunbar, everything's out of control.
00:05:05No worries, brah.
00:05:09Good.
00:05:10Brah.
00:05:13Brah.
00:05:15I've got nothing.
00:05:17I've got...
00:05:18Oh.
00:05:23Oh, yeah, because I'm a professional.
00:05:25Yeah, right.
00:05:26How you doing?
00:05:28Hi, guys.
00:05:29Hi.
00:05:46It's our privilege to welcome one of the world's great spiritual leaders,
00:05:51the Baba Ram of Bikram.
00:05:53An Asian-American student has been persuaded to volunteer
00:05:56and prepare a welcoming presentation,
00:05:58which, I've been assured, is in the traditional ethnic style.
00:06:15You'll love this kid.
00:06:27Turn it up!
00:06:42You should know this from your homework last night, Adam.
00:06:45Oh, the homework, Spain.
00:06:48Many people think Spain is here.
00:06:57On the other hand, there's a school of thought that claims Spain is here.
00:07:08Those people, too, are wrong.
00:07:10So where is Spain?
00:07:12Could be here?
00:07:16Here?
00:07:18Here?
00:07:20Here.
00:07:22Here?
00:07:24Here.
00:07:27Who would want to hurt these boys?
00:07:29Only I knew the answer was on an island 13,000 miles away,
00:07:34in the heart of an evil soul.
00:07:39Hello.
00:07:41Colonel Chi is good.
00:07:43Colonel Chi is wise.
00:07:45Colonel Chi is our man.
00:07:47Colonel Chi will take care of us.
00:07:49Colonel Chi is strong.
00:07:51Colonel Chi will lead us forever.
00:07:55Colonel Chi is good.
00:07:57Colonel Chi is wise.
00:07:59Colonel Chi is our man.
00:08:01Colonel Chi will take care of us.
00:08:03Colonel Chi is strong.
00:08:05Colonel Chi will lead us forever.
00:08:11Hi, this is Colonel Chi. I'm not in right now.
00:08:13I'd love it if you leave your name and number and the time you call to get right back here.
00:08:16And don't hang up.
00:08:18Hello?
00:08:19Hello?
00:08:24Colonel Chi is good.
00:08:26Colonel Chi is wise.
00:08:28Colonel Chi is our man.
00:08:30Colonel Chi will take care of us.
00:08:32Hi, this is Colonel Chi. I'm not in right now.
00:08:34I'd love it if you leave your name and number and the time you call to get right back here.
00:08:37Yes.
00:08:38Are they dead?
00:08:40Don't give me any excuses.
00:08:43Those boys die tonight,
00:08:45or you'll answer to me here in the dungeons of Sriran.
00:08:48Oh.
00:08:49Oh, by the way,
00:08:51did you call earlier to hang up?
00:08:54Shit!
00:09:12The legs are popping!
00:09:14Later!
00:09:16What?
00:09:17You're not coming with us?
00:09:18I'll be there in a minute.
00:09:20Just got a wax seal, manned, a wave, friction-reducing vehicle.
00:09:25Surfboard.
00:09:27Okay, so then we'll see you out there, right?
00:09:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:31Just gotta put some wax on the board, you know, so it don't slip off.
00:09:35Wax.
00:09:37And I have a lot of wax.
00:09:51Hey, shit heads.
00:09:53Putting some wax on.
00:10:20Dude, I think I fully dinged my board on a rock or something.
00:10:46Bro, we're leaving!
00:10:48Now?
00:10:49Oh!
00:10:50I had some boobs in me, too!
00:10:52Yeah, right.
00:10:53You've never surfed a day in your life.
00:10:54Tell me about it.
00:10:55Hey, tomorrow we start out early, okay?
00:10:58First thing!
00:11:13Johnny!
00:11:14Let's go, Iggy.
00:11:15We're growing old here.
00:11:19Hey!
00:11:23Sorry.
00:11:42Still hungry, eh?
00:11:45You know what would be really great on this, though?
00:11:46Eh?
00:11:47Sweet pickles.
00:11:48Eh?
00:11:49You ever stop eating?
00:11:50You freakload of you.
00:11:52So, how was school today, guys?
00:11:54They tried to make me find Spain.
00:11:56Yeah, they tried to make me find Spain once.
00:11:58I said it could be anywhere.
00:12:00Hey, so did I!
00:12:01Take out the trash, will you, guys?
00:12:03See, now you're learning.
00:12:04The main thing with teachers is confidence.
00:12:07You act like you know what you're saying, you can sell them anything.
00:12:10I mean, how do you think I passed U.S. History?
00:12:13One day we were taking this test, and...
00:12:18Dad?
00:12:19Remember the guy you said would come if we didn't eat our vegetables?
00:12:23He's here.
00:12:24No, that's not the boogeyman.
00:12:26It's a homicidal killer.
00:12:33Search.
00:12:38Ah!
00:12:39Ah!
00:12:44Ah!
00:12:55One, two!
00:13:09Hi-ya!
00:13:10Hi-ya!
00:13:30You're getting old, Mac.
00:13:40Hi-ya!
00:13:43Skateboard on!
00:13:46Hi-ya!
00:13:47Hi-ya!
00:13:49Hi-ya!
00:13:50Hi-ya!
00:13:53Hi-ya!
00:13:55Hi-ya!
00:14:01Super time!
00:14:11Me no speak English.
00:14:12I watch...
00:14:17Dad!
00:14:18Get the kids out of here!
00:14:21Come on!
00:14:22No, we're not leaving her, Dad!
00:14:23We gotta go now!
00:14:25Come on, move!
00:14:26No, Dad!
00:14:27Normally I'd stay and fight his death, too, but...
00:14:29It is the school night!
00:14:31Johnny, wait up!
00:14:36Come on!
00:14:38Listen, who are you?
00:14:40Let's go!
00:14:41Ah!
00:14:44One, two!
00:14:49Hey, look, I'm not good at this.
00:14:51I'm just gonna explain to these ninja guys that I don't have any...
00:14:54Listen, what is going on?
00:14:56Can we just talk about this for one minute?
00:14:58Just one minute.
00:14:59If there's one thing you're saying, then I'll be quiet.
00:15:01Hey!
00:15:03I just want you to know, I felt really safe in your arms.
00:15:06And I've never said it to a man before.
00:15:08Listen!
00:15:09What are we doing?
00:15:10We can't just leave our dad all alone with those guys.
00:15:12I'm gonna...
00:15:13Quiet!
00:15:15Your Highnesses.
00:15:18You must be quiet.
00:15:19Look, who are those Quimby's in the camouflage pajamas?
00:15:22Boy, those uniforms really give them a chameleon-like ability to blend in with their surroundings.
00:15:27Would you guys just shut up and let this guy...
00:15:32Where'd he go?
00:15:33I don't know, but I miss him already.
00:15:35I don't know, but I miss him already.
00:15:49They have taken him.
00:15:51Whoa, how does he do that?
00:15:53Like this.
00:15:54They have taken him.
00:15:56Who took him?
00:15:57The same ones who want you dead, your Highnesses.
00:16:00Why do you keep calling us that?
00:16:02Because you are a crown princess.
00:16:04And your father was a king.
00:16:08Whoa, unreal.
00:16:10Remember when I said before, what if my father was a king?
00:16:14This is completely insane.
00:16:16I'm a crown prince.
00:16:17Not you.
00:16:19They are crown princess.
00:16:21And their father was a king.
00:16:24And you are a maniac.
00:16:26And your father was a maniac.
00:16:28And his father was a maniac.
00:16:30And his father was a maniac.
00:16:31Adam, don't help me.
00:16:34I get the point.
00:16:37And the guy his father bought his house from was a maniac?
00:16:40Adam.
00:16:42Good thinking, old patched one.
00:16:45Let them think they are the real crown princes.
00:16:47We'll use them for decoys.
00:16:49Hey, I'm going to go call the cops.
00:16:51Listen, this could be extremely dangerous.
00:16:54So I want you to keep one eye on my friends and one...
00:16:57Well, you just do the best you can.
00:17:01Listen to me.
00:17:03Search your memories, your highnesses.
00:17:05What do you remember of life before you came to America?
00:17:08What do you mean before?
00:17:10We were born here.
00:17:12Weren't we?
00:17:14Your brother was too young to remember.
00:17:16But you must remember something, Apatusan.
00:17:19Portisan?
00:17:21Ah, you mean those toilets and construction sites?
00:17:24Ew, I give up the throne.
00:17:26No, not portisan.
00:17:31Patusan.
00:17:39For 4,000 years,
00:17:42Patusan, ruled by one line of warrior kings,
00:17:46was the most peaceful place on earth.
00:17:50And one day, the people gathered
00:17:53to celebrate the birth of crown prince Adam.
00:17:58Of whom the prophecies foretold
00:18:01would become a true visionary.
00:18:03And his brother, crown prince Yanni,
00:18:06would be even a greater warrior king than his father.
00:18:10But it was foretold in the seventh cycle
00:18:12after men flew as eagles to the moon...
00:18:14Whoa, babe, you just lost me.
00:18:16The peace would be broken by bloodshed.
00:18:20A violent coup, led by Colonel Chi,
00:18:24a foreign mercenary.
00:18:26Devastatingly, 3,000 people were killed.
00:18:30The pirates, the spies...
00:18:32And the warlords and followers of the King.
00:18:34The lies are true,
00:18:36but our bloodshed is not.
00:18:44Is it true that the prince's royal family
00:18:46We, a foreign mercenary, devastated our country.
00:18:53I was head of the Imperial Guard.
00:18:55It was my duty to protect the royal family at any cost.
00:19:16I was summoned to the palace, and there entrusted to protect the royal princes, Yaoni and Haro, from Chi's determination to kill them.
00:19:34Why would he do that?
00:19:36The prophecies foretold that on Yaoni's 16th birthday, he would ascend the throne, and Patusan would be free once more.
00:19:46I'm going to be 16 in two weeks?
00:19:49I know your highness.
00:20:04Zaj, you and those children will never escape death!
00:20:17No!
00:20:34As the prophecies foretold, the entire royal family was killed, except for the two young crown princes who escaped.
00:20:42Whoa, that was really an excellent story.
00:20:45Mack was a former American sailor.
00:21:05Mack had worked for the royal family for many years. His loyalty to them was beyond reproach.
00:21:16No!
00:21:31It was into his arms that I entrusted the two children.
00:21:34You were those children, your highnesses.
00:21:37For Colonel Chi, you are the living threat to his rule.
00:21:40To me, you are the living prophecy who will free our country.
00:21:43Don't you have to drive to do that? Man, I really want to drive.
00:21:47Listen, we don't want to free anything, Tonto. We want our dad back. That's all.
00:21:52Mack is inconsequential. The rebellion is what counts now. You must return with me to Patusan.
00:21:59Hey! Our dad is not inconsequential.
00:22:03You, your prophecy, your rebellion, that's inconsequential.
00:22:08You have no sense of duty or honor.
00:22:11You have no sense of humor, okay?
00:22:14Listen up, amigo. We're going to the cops. Comprende? Later on.
00:22:19I don't have to convince you. It's your destiny. It has chosen you.
00:22:25Hey, okay, I got it all wired. I called the cops. They said Emilia is at your dad's burger place.
00:22:30That is, if it's cool with our sight-challenged friend here.
00:22:34Hey, he disappeared again.
00:22:42So you want me to believe that this Colonel Cheese, or whoever he is,
00:22:47sent these easterly camel ninjas to bump heads because he's not up at your old man?
00:22:52Listen, all I know is that these sketchy-looking ninjas dropped our dad and went aggro on the food hut.
00:23:01All right, guys, from the top. But this time, how about we bring in an interpreter?
00:23:07Excuse me, are you open?
00:23:11Emilia, they got killer shakes, man. It's worth the wait.
00:23:14I know the food is good, because, you know, cops.
00:23:23So you sure your kid is going to be all right tonight?
00:23:26Yeah, yeah. I told you, our uncle's staying with us.
00:23:29Oh, yeah, that's right. Your, uh, Uncle Iggy, huh?
00:23:33Well, I'll tell you what. I'm going to leave a patrol unit outside your house tonight,
00:23:38just in case anybody gets any funny ideas of trying to mess with you guys.
00:23:43But if you want to know what I really think...
00:23:46What?
00:23:48I think some guys are probably leaning on your old man.
00:23:51They came in, they tore the place up, and he split.
00:23:54I mean, he's probably out there chilled out somewhere, taking it easy.
00:23:58So don't even worry about it, all right?
00:24:01Good night, fellas.
00:24:08You know, my dad isn't chilling out someplace.
00:24:13He would never split on us.
00:24:16He loves us.
00:24:21I guess you're right, kid.
00:24:24All right, now you kids get in here and clean up your bloody room.
00:24:29And I know best, because after all, I'm 37.
00:24:33Now don't make me come out there and beat you with a leg of mine that no longer works,
00:24:37because I'll do it!
00:24:40He's a very distant relative.
00:24:42Get out of here.
00:24:47Come on, let's go.
00:24:49Hey, you two keep your eyes open tonight, all right?
00:24:52I don't want anything coming down on those kids in there.
00:24:56Bro?
00:24:59Yeah, what's up?
00:25:01I'm feeling kind of...
00:25:05freaked.
00:25:08Freaked?
00:25:13No worries, bro. I'm here.
00:25:16Everything's going to be cool.
00:25:18Hey, uh...
00:25:22But what if what that Zatch guy was saying was true?
00:25:25And it's, like, my destiny to be a prince and a seer,
00:25:29and your destiny to be a prince and a warrior.
00:25:32And don't forget, I'm the king.
00:25:34Seriously, your dad's not going to miss these magazines.
00:25:36There's a whole stack of them underneath the bed.
00:25:38Iggy, you can't be the king of Patusan.
00:25:42You're not Asian.
00:25:44You can't be the king of Patusan.
00:25:47You can't be the king of Patusan.
00:25:50You're not Asian.
00:25:52Oh, yeah? I've got two words to say to you.
00:25:55David Carradine in kung fu.
00:25:59Crown Prince Otto would become a true visionary.
00:26:03That's weird.
00:26:05Where's Shinobi?
00:26:08I thought I was playing Shinobi.
00:26:17Never been on this level before.
00:26:21What a cool game.
00:26:24Come on!
00:26:50Johnny! You okay?
00:26:52It's all dark, wears a patch, and always seems to be on my butt.
00:26:56Do you see how easily I could have killed you if I was sent by Colonel Chee?
00:27:00Oh, that's a big challenge. I'm 11 years old.
00:27:03Why don't you just give yourself a big pat on the back?
00:27:06Shh.
00:27:12Pat, thanks for everything you mean to me so far.
00:27:23Look.
00:27:28Couldn't we just go back to the beginner's level?
00:27:31Come on. Let's go.
00:27:45Quickly.
00:27:53Wait here.
00:28:09I think he's cooking.
00:28:11What?
00:28:14Let's go. Now.
00:28:22Oh, no!
00:28:31Stop!
00:28:47Hey, not that way. Come on.
00:28:53Come on, Adam.
00:29:02When can we go back home?
00:29:04Your home is Patusan.
00:29:06No, our home is that house back there on Ocean Park.
00:29:09I don't think you want to go back there, man.
00:29:11Our pal Long John Silver here left the gas on. Real bright.
00:29:14I mean, what if the house blows up?
00:29:16Oh!
00:29:19Oh!
00:29:23It's our home.
00:29:25He blew up our home.
00:29:28I had no choice.
00:29:30Now you have no choice but to come with me.
00:29:33It's your destiny.
00:29:38You had no choice! You had no choice!
00:29:41You're insane!
00:29:44Get the raspy out of my room!
00:29:46Be still, your highnesses.
00:29:48You must understand that there's no turning back.
00:29:52Your lives will never be the same again.
00:30:05But what about our dad?
00:30:07I'll help you find Mac.
00:30:10That, too, is part of your destiny.
00:30:14I can't believe I just did that.
00:30:17But what of this one? The commoner?
00:30:20Ron, you just blew him up.
00:30:22I am responsible for the destruction of my best friend's personal property.
00:30:26What are you talking about? You didn't do anything.
00:30:29Something happened. I don't know what it is, but it happened.
00:30:32And now every time I say, what if, it comes true.
00:30:35I said, what if the house blew up, and it blew up.
00:30:38I have this tremendous responsibility.
00:30:40What if I lose this power?
00:30:42Oh, my God! I just said, what if I lose this power?
00:30:45I just had this power, and I blew it. I had it, and I lost it.
00:30:48You keep him to amuse you, yes?
00:30:51Like a boy would keep a monkey or a snake?
00:30:54I can't believe I just blew up somebody's house.
00:30:56I can't believe I'm actually a king.
00:30:58We can't just leave him. Those guys saw him with us.
00:31:01They're going to come after him.
00:31:03He's got to come with us.
00:31:05This is too much for me. I've got to concentrate on what I'm doing.
00:31:08I've got to be very careful. What if I just normal again?
00:31:11I don't know.
00:31:42Manchu.
00:31:45It almost got wet.
00:31:49Come here.
00:31:51There's not enough of this electronic piece of junk short circuits all the time.
00:31:58It's a very patchy dry curl.
00:32:00I know that!
00:32:03Perhaps.
00:32:06Perhaps I should do something to make you remember
00:32:09how important it is for it to stay that way.
00:32:14Telephone.
00:32:17Get out of the way.
00:32:19Hi, this is Colonel Chee. I'm not in right now,
00:32:21but if you leave your name and number and the time you call, I'll get right back to you.
00:32:24Now don't, Hank.
00:32:26Yes?
00:32:28Zatch.
00:32:30I should have known.
00:32:32Kill him. Kill them.
00:32:35Hold on for a second. I've got call waiting.
00:32:39Yes.
00:32:41Kill him. Kill him immediately.
00:32:46Yes, now where were we?
00:32:48Yes, kill him. Send more men to Los Angeles.
00:32:52Coach, the boys are alive. I can feel it.
00:32:56And I want them dead.
00:32:59Welcome to Little Patusan,
00:33:01where our people escaped Chee's reign of terror.
00:33:03Settled in Los Angeles.
00:33:05Come, we'll go to the Imperial Palace.
00:33:09The best Patusani food in L.A.
00:33:14Your Highnesses will be safe here.
00:33:16You'll find your subjects love you and are loyal to you.
00:33:19Great. Well, the princes have taken.
00:33:21Hey, what did they eat?
00:33:23Hey, I want to know what they ate.
00:33:24They only ate the chicken.
00:33:27Hey, ready for fall?
00:33:35Oh, gosh, so bad.
00:33:38They do not speak Patusani, Gumbe.
00:33:44He's prospering himself to show you his loyalty.
00:33:47His name is Gumbe.
00:33:49Gumbe?
00:33:51As in Poké's friend?
00:33:55How's it hanging, Gumbe?
00:33:57This way, Your Highness. This way.
00:34:02There'll be trouble, Gumbe.
00:34:04You should know that before you take us in.
00:34:06Trouble? Trouble does not worry me.
00:34:09His Highness Yaoni is to be my daughter's husband.
00:34:14Me? A husband?
00:34:16This is a day of rejoicing.
00:34:18I must tell others.
00:34:20No, no, no, no, no. Time out.
00:34:23Hold on. Wait a minute.
00:34:25What did he mean when he said I was going to be like his daughter's husband?
00:34:28The wedding was agreed to by your father and Gumbe when you were children.
00:34:31That's reasonable. Technically, he'll be your Gumbe-in-law.
00:34:36Bienvenue.
00:34:52Bon Anniversaire!
00:34:56And now for Your Highness,
00:34:58and for all of us,
00:35:00a most joyful moment
00:35:02as you meet your future bride.
00:35:29Hey, you know what they say,
00:35:30chicks gotta veil, dude better bail.
00:35:33Yeah, they cover her face, pick up the pace.
00:35:36If she's afraid to show it,
00:35:38she's probably not very attractive.
00:35:57Wow.
00:36:01Uh...
00:36:06Uh...
00:36:08You wanna go to the mall sometime?
00:36:11Way to close the deal, Casanova.
00:36:14You do not need to go out. Soon you will be married.
00:36:18And I will be yours forever, your highness.
00:36:22Hey, you think maybe we ought to tell her that Johnny's just a decoy
00:36:25and I'm the one she's really gonna marry?
00:36:31We can tell her later. Later's good.
00:36:34Man, I couldn't sleep last night. Everything smelled like chow mein.
00:36:38Look at this.
00:36:41Guys, look at this.
00:36:50Help!
00:36:53Help!
00:36:56Run, run, run!
00:36:58Help!
00:37:04Let's get out of here.
00:37:06Help!
00:37:08Tell me when you're out. Tell me!
00:37:10Help!
00:37:12Hey, take your hands off my Betty.
00:37:14It's them.
00:37:16Stop!
00:37:20Romay, you know it'd be real great
00:37:22if you ran like a mother and got Winky, the one-eyed black belt.
00:37:27Adam?
00:37:29Don't worry, bro. I've played this level before.
00:37:35I gotta get my power back.
00:37:51Let's see. Fish, lobster, octopus.
00:37:57Huh!
00:38:03Eat squid, poncho.
00:38:09500 bonus points. Yes!
00:38:12What if I could actually control the outcome of this fight?
00:38:17And he will become an even greater warrior than his father.
00:38:22I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
00:38:27Fight!
00:38:47What?
00:38:56Johnny!
00:39:27Lobster!
00:39:46Chopsticks. Perfect.
00:39:48Ah!
00:39:53Ah!
00:40:14I beat my best score. I love this game.
00:40:18Seriously, don't thank me. It's the least I can do as your monarch.
00:40:22It was incredible. I mean, for a moment, I almost had those guys.
00:40:25I love the part when I was like...
00:40:29Sorry.
00:40:30Your destiny is drawing near.
00:40:32Soon you will be a great warrior.
00:40:35If he's a great warrior, what about the kid here?
00:40:40You'll be a seer of visions.
00:40:42Close your eyes and tell me what you see.
00:40:46I see you leading thousands victoriously into battle
00:40:51and becoming a national hero.
00:40:53Really?
00:40:55Oh, my gosh!
00:40:57You're wearing a dress!
00:40:59What's this?
00:41:01Psyche! What a bonehead.
00:41:04Ah! Love this. Legs.
00:41:08Are you all right?
00:41:11Yeah.
00:41:12Thank goodness.
00:41:15You are the symbol of the revolution.
00:41:24Even when they ask you not to put MSG in, you still put it in, right?
00:41:27Uh-huh.
00:41:28I knew it.
00:41:35They've taken your father to Sriwan.
00:41:37What's that?
00:41:38The Fortress of Death.
00:41:39Well, we gotta go get him.
00:41:41It's intense, Ben. We gotta get out of here.
00:41:44Let's go, let's go.
00:41:45But he wanted to help us.
00:41:46Listen, he's not gonna fall for that Uncle Iggy bit again.
00:41:49How about Annie?
00:41:50Come on. Our friends will help us escape.
00:41:52Quickly.
00:41:56Where have you been?
00:41:57Getting disguises.
00:41:58You didn't recognize me, did you?
00:42:00Would you get in?
00:42:01Disguises.
00:42:04Well, hello, kids.
00:42:06Let's go. Move. On the boat. Hurry.
00:42:33Hey.
00:42:47Chuck. Adam.
00:42:49Hey. Aren't you, uh...
00:42:51All right. Hi, I'm Uncle Iggy. Nice to meet you.
00:42:53All right, kids. I'm 37.
00:42:55Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:42:56Hey, hey, hey. Come here, come here, come here.
00:42:58Stop right here.
00:42:59What's going on around here?
00:43:00What are you doing here?
00:43:02I'm trying to keep you from getting kidnapped.
00:43:04Now let's get out of here quickly.
00:43:07Let's go.
00:43:08We're not being kidnapped.
00:43:10We're starting a revolution.
00:43:11Everything is cool.
00:43:12Don't worry about it.
00:43:13What do you mean, don't worry about it?
00:43:15Revolution?
00:43:16Hold up. What's going on here?
00:43:18Let me tell y'all something.
00:43:19I've been hauling my act all over town,
00:43:21stepping over ninjas all shapes and sizes,
00:43:24so everything is most definitely not cool, little man.
00:43:29Lieutenant.
00:43:31Good night.
00:43:32Oh, yeah.
00:43:33Good night, baby.
00:43:40Welcome to the Sri Lanka...
00:43:42You! Come on!
00:43:43Come on!
00:43:47All right, Mac.
00:43:49What is your approximate weight?
00:43:51180?
00:43:53200?
00:43:55Do what you want, Sheik.
00:43:57You'll never find out what my boys are.
00:43:59Really, Mecca?
00:44:01Well, word has it that your boys are on the way here
00:44:05to join their daddy-o in hell.
00:44:11Oh, yeah. This is definitely me.
00:44:22If we get there, people aren't dressed like this.
00:44:25It's really going to affect my confidence.
00:44:30Oh, yeah.
00:44:47Oh!
00:45:00Look! There it is.
00:45:02Hey, guys!
00:45:03We should be able to see the coast of Patsasat.
00:45:05Come look.
00:45:06Oh, yeah. At last.
00:45:08My country!
00:45:09Good food, real toilets, room service.
00:45:11Everything's free. I'm the king. Help yourself.
00:45:13Uh, pardon me. Just see.
00:45:16How did you get those handcuffs off?
00:45:18I had a key.
00:45:19Where? We searched you.
00:45:21I swallowed it last Tuesday.
00:45:23Whoa. How'd you know you were going to need it?
00:45:25I swallow it every Tuesday.
00:45:28You're not going to stop us, Lt. Spence.
00:45:30I don't want to stop you.
00:45:32In fact, I'm thinking about joining you.
00:45:35You are?
00:45:36Look, I ain't had a vacation in 17 months,
00:45:39amongst other things,
00:45:41and I'm in some deep need of some serious laughs.
00:45:44You know what I'm saying?
00:45:46Besides, I just had this funny feeling
00:45:50that going with you guys...
00:45:52Is your destiny?
00:45:57Hey, look. Pachasan.
00:46:16Yo, what'd you do that for?
00:46:18You know it's going to get spotted.
00:46:20I put a hole in it.
00:46:21Soon it will sink to the bottom of the ocean.
00:46:23Seriously, that's an excellent place to hide it.
00:46:26Yeah, what if we're getting hammered and we got a bail?
00:46:29We shall either be victorious
00:46:31or in our graves.
00:46:33There's no gray area with you, is there?
00:46:36I mean, the glass is either half full or we're dead.
00:46:42Come on.
00:46:43Now, stay together on the trail.
00:46:45Watch out for large red ants,
00:46:47lizards with sharp teeth,
00:46:49and black pythons which can suffocate a man in one squeeze.
00:46:52Thanks. Thanks.
00:46:57Just beyond that ridge is the village of Mekrob.
00:47:01While in Pachasan,
00:47:03guests of the revolution stay at the Mekrob Hilton.
00:47:07That's the Mekrob Hilton,
00:47:09serving strange things in shells since 1207.
00:47:13It's the birthplace of a great holy man.
00:47:16Wow. Then I gotta get a T-shirt.
00:47:20I can see the morning cooking fires.
00:47:23There'll be men to support us.
00:47:25Then we'll go to the caves of Kwan Su,
00:47:27the caves of the ancients.
00:47:29What's there?
00:47:30Your inheritance.
00:47:32Money?
00:47:33No.
00:47:35Something not even money can buy.
00:47:38The knives of Kwan Su.
00:47:41Knives?
00:47:42Oh, yeah, seriously, that's something money can't buy.
00:47:45Knives.
00:47:46Once I went into a cutlery store and said,
00:47:49here's $100,000. Can I buy a knife?
00:47:51They said, no, money can't buy knives.
00:47:53Gee, I guess that's why you hardly ever see any of them around.
00:47:57On the third day of the expedition,
00:47:59they came across a giant rubber plant.
00:48:01Unfortunately, they could not cut it down.
00:48:03For as we know, money can't buy knives.
00:48:05Walking around the plant,
00:48:07they continued on the shores of Pachasan.
00:48:09Is there no way we can shut this chattering monkey up?
00:48:12You know, I'd cut him, but I don't have a knife.
00:48:22Hang on.
00:48:31Who would do something like this?
00:48:33I'll give you three guesses.
00:48:35Oh, yeah.
00:48:36But why did he spare that old man and those few others?
00:48:40So there would be someone left alive to tell.
00:48:43Tell what?
00:48:45Tell who?
00:48:47To anyone who'd help us.
00:48:50This is what would happen to them.
00:49:09We're near Kwan Su.
00:49:11But the entrance to the cave is hidden.
00:49:13Oh, that's good.
00:49:15How are we supposed to find it?
00:49:17It's my destiny to find it.
00:49:19Of course not.
00:49:21I am the king.
00:49:23Okay, what if I find the entrance?
00:49:35Maybe down here.
00:49:48Hey!
00:49:50Come back here!
00:49:52What are you doing with that?
00:49:55I'm talking to you.
00:49:57Freeze right there.
00:50:05Whoa, cool.
00:50:11You know, boy, don't you?
00:50:13Where is it?
00:50:17Where is it?
00:50:25Johnny, are you okay?
00:50:27Yeah.
00:50:29Hey, I found Waldo.
00:50:31Really?
00:50:32Psych!
00:50:35Seriously? Three years ago?
00:50:37My cousin went in a cave.
00:50:39Never came out.
00:50:41They never found him. Nobody knows what happened to him.
00:50:43They think maybe his body was eaten by bats.
00:50:46You keep on telling them cave stories,
00:50:48and you and your cousin will have a lot more things in common.
00:50:55The weapons of Kwan Su.
00:50:59Just as the prophecies foretold,
00:51:01these weapons will be yours, your highness.
00:51:044,000 years of warrior blood, spirit, and energy
00:51:09are held in these weapons.
00:51:12That spirit now
00:51:14will enter you.
00:51:23Stand and defend yourself.
00:51:30Not you. Him.
00:51:36Defend myself? Listen.
00:51:38Kwan Su!
00:51:42Listen, what is it with you, you know?
00:51:47Listen, hold on.
00:51:49Listen, hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:51:51Can we just stop this?
00:51:53You know, you got a really bad aura about you.
00:51:58I don't know if you know this,
00:52:00but wherever you go, you have to fight.
00:52:04And that means you got a problem.
00:52:06And I think it's all because of a deep-seated emotional trauma.
00:52:09Asha!
00:52:11Asha!
00:52:17All your spirits within you.
00:52:19Asha!
00:52:23Listen, I don't want any spirits in me.
00:52:25I don't want any spheres in me.
00:52:27I don't want anything in me.
00:52:29You maniac!
00:52:40You're not getting your head.
00:52:42I don't want to fight you.
00:52:47Listen, spirit or no spirit,
00:52:49if you swing that thing at me one more time,
00:52:51I'm gonna kick your butt.
00:52:56Okay.
00:52:59Okay, okay.
00:53:06Okay.
00:53:10Asha!
00:53:12Asha!
00:53:14Asha!
00:53:31Never mess with Zorro.
00:53:34Wow.
00:53:36Johnny is amazing.
00:53:38I know.
00:53:40He can get a job as a sushi chef, no problem.
00:54:04What is that?
00:54:13It's a chain gang.
00:54:15What do we do?
00:54:17We have to go around them.
00:54:19If we're picked up by one of their patrols,
00:54:21we'll end up prisoners ourselves.
00:54:24We'll end up prisoners ourselves.
00:54:37Whoa.
00:54:39This trail is massively narrow.
00:54:41What if somebody fell?
00:54:50What did I say? I'm sorry!
00:54:53Whoa!
00:54:55Oh, dear!
00:55:07Oh, I fell!
00:55:09Wow.
00:55:11Insane, right?
00:55:13All right.
00:55:21Drop the piece, punk.
00:55:23This is L.A.P.D.
00:55:25You're under arrest.
00:55:36There's too many soldiers.
00:55:38There's nothing we can do for them.
00:55:40What? Hey, that's my brother down there.
00:55:42He's the one after them.
00:55:44No, wait! It's too dangerous.
00:55:46You can't do this alone.
00:55:48Worried about your precious little revolution?
00:55:50No.
00:55:52I'm worried about you.
00:55:58Poor kids.
00:56:00They just don't weigh the risks, do they?
00:56:02I'll tell you. Want to grab a cup of coffee?
00:56:04No!
00:56:08No!
00:56:22Okay, stay here.
00:56:24No. You wait here.
00:56:34Hey, Molly.
00:56:36Hi.
00:56:38I'm the guest you guessed, Shimasita.
00:56:40Hmm?
00:56:42Hmm.
00:56:44You wronged me.
00:56:46Oh, yeah.
00:56:52Oh, yeah.
00:57:04What'd you say to them?
00:57:06You'll find out on our wedding night.
00:57:26What's up?
00:57:28What's up? Hey, did you slide down the mountain?
00:57:30Yeah.
00:57:32How'd you get to this island?
00:57:34Fine.
00:57:36Uh, okay, Mr. Hero.
00:57:38Now, how in the heck you gonna get us up outta here?
00:57:42Hey. Hey.
00:57:46Hey, hey, hey!
00:57:48Whoa.
00:57:56Let's go!
00:57:58Come on, come on!
00:58:02Come on!
00:58:10What do you think?
00:58:12This is not good.
00:58:14You may only have one eye, but you don't miss a trick.
00:58:32You wanna dance, huh?
00:58:34Come on.
00:58:46Anyone need a ride?
00:59:02Come on!
00:59:14Asshole!
00:59:26What are you doing?
00:59:28Come on, let me go! I'm on a roll!
00:59:30Go, go, go!
00:59:32Adam, you're driving.
00:59:34Ain't it, pigeon?
00:59:42Go, go, go!
01:00:00Seriously, there's dynamite here!
01:00:04Well, throw it at him!
01:00:16I got one! I got one!
01:00:18Love a pussy, light it first!
01:00:20I need light. I need light.
01:00:24Wait, wait. I've got something.
01:00:30Cigarettes.
01:00:32Yeah, yeah. I know I should quit.
01:00:34Maybe you should get the pack.
01:00:36Look who I'm talking to.
01:00:52Yeah!
01:00:56All right!
01:01:00Yeah!
01:01:16They're overjoyed to have their king back.
01:01:18Cool.
01:01:20Up until now, I didn't know if you were worthy.
01:01:22Now I know you are.
01:01:24Worthy of what?
01:01:26Of this.
01:01:30Wansu!
01:01:32Wansu! Wansu!
01:01:38The headband of a Pakistani warrior prince.
01:01:42Wansu! Wansu!
01:01:56Give him one.
01:01:58Let's go.
01:02:14Wansu, dudes!
01:02:16Wansu, dudes!
01:02:18Wansu, dudes!
01:02:26Wansu! Wansu!
01:02:38My people,
01:02:40if you know this song,
01:02:42you can join us.
01:02:56Wansu!
01:02:58Wansu!
01:03:00Wansu!
01:03:02Wansu!
01:03:04Wansu!
01:03:06Wansu!
01:03:08Wansu!
01:03:10Wansu!
01:03:12Wansu!
01:03:14Wansu!
01:03:16Wansu!
01:03:18Wansu!
01:03:20Wansu!
01:03:22Wansu!
01:03:24Wansu!
01:03:42Wansu!
01:03:44Wansu!
01:03:46Wansu!
01:03:48Wansu!
01:03:50Wansu!
01:03:54Johnny, can I talk to you for a second?
01:04:13Yeah.
01:04:14Talk to me forever.
01:04:18I've been thinking.
01:04:19Look, I know I talked a lot about marrying you and being queen and everything.
01:04:23I know, no problem.
01:04:24As soon as we rescue my dad, I'll tell him.
01:04:26And then we can go off...
01:04:27No, Johnny, listen.
01:04:29Look, all my life, I've been doing everything that was expected of a traditional Patusani girl.
01:04:36And?
01:04:37And who do my parents think they are, telling me who I'm going to marry?
01:04:41I mean, I'll decide who I'm going to marry, not them.
01:04:43That is, if I marry.
01:04:45I mean, that was a really swell kiss and all, but I just didn't want to hurt your feelings about the marriage thing.
01:04:53But we can still date, right?
01:05:16Yeah, they must be expecting an attack.
01:05:19Check out all the guns.
01:05:21They're all pointing right at us.
01:05:27Well, what about the other side of the island?
01:05:31There's a reef no ship could get past, which really doesn't matter, since the only ship we had, I sunk.
01:05:37Tell me about it.
01:05:39What do you got?
01:05:40What do you see?
01:05:42It's not showing me anything.
01:05:44I mean, it's supposed to be like magic, isn't it?
01:05:48I thought it was real.
01:05:50The magic is real.
01:05:54But it's within you, it always has been.
01:05:57Now tell me, what do you see?
01:06:02Those trees over there.
01:06:19Are Patusanis any good at wood carving and stuff?
01:06:23They are among the best in the world.
01:06:28Well, what, do you want to buy a souvenir?
01:06:36Remember, bend your knees, use your arms.
01:06:40Good.
01:06:41Now you're styling.
01:06:43All right, you guys ready to check out the waves?
01:06:46No!
01:06:51This might come as a shock to you, but I never surfed a day in your life.
01:06:56We all know, it's like a big joke.
01:06:59Really?
01:07:02Well, what if you could?
01:07:04The ability's within you, bro.
01:07:12What if I could?
01:07:14Let's shred, Kwanzaa dudes!
01:07:27Brothers don't surf.
01:07:29This get back to the hood won't none of the homies talk to me again.
01:07:40Another day is done.
01:07:42Still the hunger burns inside of me.
01:07:49Heart beats to a different drum.
01:07:52Black thunder, it wakes.
01:07:55I must go to my sleep.
01:07:58All alone this journey takes its toll.
01:08:03I must chase the fire that feeds my soul.
01:08:08You've got to dig down deep.
01:08:12Oh, when you want to wake the dead from their sleep.
01:08:17From now on.
01:08:19You'll know where to find me.
01:08:22From now on.
01:08:24I can't untie these hands of fate.
01:08:27From now on.
01:08:29There'll be no chains to bind me.
01:08:32From now on.
01:08:40Hey, son!
01:08:42Whoa!
01:08:47Fresh air, the time has come.
01:08:49Oh, I got to look the future in the face, yeah.
01:08:56I got to get off my shoes and run, run, run.
01:08:59No, I'd just be a loser in this human race.
01:09:05All alone this journey takes its toll.
01:09:10I must chase the fire that feeds my soul.
01:09:15Oh, you've got to dig down deep.
01:09:20Oh, when you want to wake the dead from their sleep.
01:09:25From now on.
01:09:26You'll know where to find me.
01:09:29From now on.
01:09:31I can't untie these hands of fate.
01:09:34From now on.
01:09:36There'll be no chains to bind me.
01:09:39From now on.
01:09:41Whoa!
01:09:42Whoa!
01:09:43Whoa!
01:09:44Whoa!
01:09:45Whoa!
01:09:46Whoa!
01:09:47Whoa!
01:09:48Whoa!
01:09:49Whoa!
01:09:50Whoa!
01:09:51Whoa!
01:09:52Whoa!
01:09:53Whoa!
01:09:54Whoa!
01:09:55Whoa!
01:09:56Whoa!
01:09:57Whoa!
01:09:58Whoa!
01:09:59Whoa!
01:10:00Whoa!
01:10:01Whoa!
01:10:02Whoa!
01:10:08Whoa!
01:10:09Whoa!
01:10:10Whoa!
01:10:11Whoa!
01:10:12Whoa!
01:10:13Whoa!
01:10:14Whoa!
01:10:15Whoa!
01:10:16Whoa!
01:10:17Here bro, you're going to need this.
01:10:18You mean we're separating?
01:10:19Yes, it's an attack.
01:10:20Fire!
01:10:50Attack!
01:11:06Yeah, now this feels a little bit more familiar.
01:11:20Ow!
01:11:21Ow!
01:11:22Ow!
01:11:23Ow!
01:11:24Ow!
01:11:25Ow!
01:11:26Ow!
01:11:27Ow!
01:11:28Ow!
01:11:29Ow!
01:11:30Ow!
01:11:31Ow!
01:11:32Ow!
01:11:33Ow!
01:11:34Ow!
01:11:35Ow!
01:11:36Ow!
01:11:37Ow!
01:11:38Ow!
01:11:39Ow!
01:11:40Ow!
01:11:41Ow!
01:11:42Ow!
01:11:43Ow!
01:11:44Ow!
01:11:45Ow!
01:11:46Ow!
01:11:47Ow!
01:11:48Ow!
01:11:49Ow!
01:11:50Ow!
01:11:51Ow!
01:11:52Ow!
01:11:53Oh man.
01:11:54Ow!
01:11:55Ow!
01:11:56Ow!
01:11:57Ow!
01:11:58Ow!
01:11:59Ow!
01:12:00Ow!
01:12:01Ow!
01:12:02Ow!
01:12:03O-Ow!
01:12:04Ow!
01:12:05O-Ow!
01:12:06O-Ow!
01:12:07Ow!
01:12:08Ow!
01:12:09Ow!
01:12:10Ow!
01:12:11Ow, please!
01:12:12Watch out!
01:12:13Ow!
01:12:14Hi-ya!
01:12:15Row!
01:12:16O-Ow!.
01:12:17Time's out!
01:12:18Oh
01:12:34If I don't die hey it works
01:12:49You must finish it go my nephews
01:12:52Matthews, he's your uncle
01:12:54Your father your real father was the king his brother
01:12:58You're my uncle. No, not you
01:13:04Dad you chill here with uncle Zach. I'm going after she go after him alone, Johnny
01:13:10Destiny you never listened to me before. How can I stop you now?
01:13:18Oh
01:13:48Oh
01:14:18I'm okay
01:14:41Where at last
01:14:48You
01:14:58Have a sword I don't have my gun don't you want this to be a fair fight?
01:15:18Yeah
01:15:48Oh
01:15:50Oh
01:16:15Who's that
01:16:20Oh
01:16:34They're just a decoy it's hilarious, I mean, I'm the real king you're all my subjects and she's my chick
01:16:42Enjoy
01:16:44You're not getting any of this, are you
01:16:47Sorry
01:16:50Gentlemen may I present a great holy man who was born in your father's native village the Baba Ram of me grub
01:16:59Huh
01:17:15Congratulations your highness
01:17:20I
01:17:32Think they're waiting for you to say something
01:17:39I've got nothing. I'll handle it bro. Quads. Oh dudes
01:17:50I
01:17:53Love this word must mean like free beer or something
01:18:01It's my first act as your king
01:18:05Hereby dissolve the monarchy give the government to its people because your destiny to be free
01:18:10You
01:18:18Don't get me wrong cool headgear, I love the clothes and all but I
01:18:26Excuse me one second
01:18:33Flash your side loss
01:18:40Oh
01:18:47Like I was saying as my future queen and I go off to take our SATs
01:18:52Remember, we're all created equal because I was born into royalty. I'm no different from you put my face on a stamp
01:18:5950 cent piece and let's call it a day for now my people. I'm out of here
01:19:03I
01:19:33Transpired