Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00What's up Wolfpack Fam it's your boy Kid back at it again hope you're doing well
00:14continuing my journey of toast of London with my boy Matt Barry you know what
00:18shenanigans is my man's gonna get into on this week's episode I gotta stay tuned
00:22to find out ladies and gentlemen snacks it's not included dammit you got to
00:26bring your own don't forget to Like comment subscribe it is absolutely free
00:29to do shout out to the passion as well thanks for your support let's get this
00:32journey started let's get it anxious to get to another episode snacks not
00:38included let's freaking go it's tremendous news they want to see me for
00:43James Bond yes what a break after how many years in the industry 10 15 28
00:50Jesus I knew Craig would choke it too many stunts and he's always looked like
00:55the villain do you think they'll expect me to talk you won't do that will you
01:10I'm here for Bob Stephen toast who Stephen toast okay take a seat
01:20Havers morning test Fassbender Stephen Stephen toast
01:45the name's Bob James Bob
01:50oh holy fuck what the fuck that's loaded
02:20Oh
02:41Jane you heard yeah it wasn't right no I misjudged it I think I frightened some
02:49still they'll realize I'm the right man for the job when they see the other no
02:53helpers yeah all right see you
02:59whoa hi it's toast I'm in a phone box I lost my mobile in an audition but
03:07luckily one of your prostitute cards is in here I can't make it tonight I'm
03:13playing poker with Elaine Page and Lloyd Webber but I'll see you tomorrow at 3
03:17p.m. so this is it chaps all eyes on me three kings I believe it's your turn
03:34Elaine page time to pull your winkle out as my gran used to say excuse me I've
03:40got nothing bad luck EP couldn't have happened to a nice again so Andrew Lloyd
03:48Webber looks like it's you and me if I was you I'd make this swift no one wants
03:53to look like a top arsehole in front of their floozy excuse that
03:59oh he can't do that Kenny you knew that was all the money I had I could
04:14lots of lovely money I don't have any money for a taxi I'd gain it for you to
04:25have a pound you still owe Lloyd Webber 20,000 pounds toast yeah well you can
04:32tell mr. Lloyd Webber that he can shove that up his starlight Express hey you
04:44laugh oh fuck toast hmm what the hell are you doing here this early I have
04:56alarming news Jane to go with the alarming smell suddenly reeks of a
05:03working men's club in here working men in this room that'll be a first please
05:09take your feet off my desk where are your shoes Lloyd Webber took them bloody
05:14poker how much did you lose I owe him 20,000 pounds well I expect you'll be
05:21receiving a visit from Michael ball soon then Michael ball yes ball is Lloyd
05:27Webber's enforcer has been for years anyone who's LW money ball picks it up
05:31obviously it doesn't have to do it but it gives him something to do in the day
05:34between shows and winning awards what now toast I slept with Michael ball's
05:41girlfriend not long after they split how long after about ten minutes I knew the
05:47attractive girl great sense of humor much like myself we laughed a lot well
05:51he probably won't remember you why would you say that well in general I've noticed
05:55people tend not to remember you it's a hell of a pearl necklace Jane shut up
05:58toast Jane Clough he's here now actually let me ask him urgent dubbing request
06:05just in dubbing fuck that just bear with me shall I get some more details no
06:09wait on the line I'm not interested don't waste your time Jane more details
06:14yes it's a new film young maverick Danish director art house highbrow stuff
06:19German Spanish co-production today DVD English five I didn't understand any of
06:24that Jane it was just single words sorry to be dubbed into English for
06:27eventual DVD release they're offering 5,000 pounds I'll do it great he'll do
06:31it he'll be there in two and a half minutes where is it scramble studio but
06:38those arseholes they wouldn't know highbrow from a holy water
06:48fucking scramble what all those people doing there oh you know you just work
06:53here well let's get on I've got an appointment later all right no problem
06:58stealing so dubbing some gay art house erotica some what don't have a problem
07:04paying gay do you gay no I mean I won't play a bald man not even on Radio 4 but
07:10I'm not gay skeptic let's go okay well good okay so the guy you're working with
07:15what guy the guy playing the other part who names Ray Purchase you know him
07:19incredibly homophobic he hates gays in the whole gay scene great fucking
07:28purchase Wow look who it is you two know each other that's great no it isn't you
07:37hypocrite purchase you're the most homophobic actor in London what's this
07:41gay for pay then I'd say grown-up man kissing toast
07:45fail to see what the fuck it's got to do with you okay gents that's a good
07:50idea what is not wearing shoes you know it's
07:54bit relaxed but comfortable okay so I believe you are voicing the character of
07:58Miguel right coming at you I'm gonna start with right
08:05fuck my name is helmet from Munich you must be Miguel yes I am hola
08:16you are keen my friend but I asked the agency for a blonde man I'm sorry to
08:23disappoint you it was not what I was expecting really would you like me to
08:29put my underpants back on hi Stephen this is Clem fandango can you hear me
08:34yes I can hear you Clem fandango she's going great
08:37Stephen really terrific one note from the director he really wants you to
08:41pronounce it underpants II really give it everything here we go
08:50sorry I'll do that again that's great it's really really good
09:02enjoy take a little break before the next bit no let's just keep going calm
09:05down Tess
09:35all right okay we're nearly there okay just some solo kissing from you right
09:56right now need to look at the screen okay
10:05oh
10:35okay you are finished sir thank you ma'am it's great great work Ray thanks
10:44a lot you taxis outside okay thanks daddy just climb oh I'm toast
10:51hey thanks daddy great man really great thanks thanks a lot sorry such a prick
11:01well all the best okay Stephen feeling here is that you could play it just a
11:06little less gay a little less gay yeah just need to bring it down a bit you
11:11know it's just a bit it's a bit over the top it's a bit John Ingram okay I'm off
11:20what yeah you think I can't see you laughing in there yeah you you
11:25malnourished pimp with your world war one facial hair and your sister's clothes
11:30even you shut the fuck up Clem fandango and your made-up name all right Stephen
11:36Stephen we're not laughing at you it's just it's something on YouTube give me
11:39your shoes my shoes yeah and my taxi fare take it off my feet fucking laugh
11:46at me you motherfucker luckily I just bought another pack that guy that I pack
11:53taxi far off break fucking clown
12:11Oh No
12:16Oh
12:26that's a bastard I actually have gone blind now it's come back God I needed
12:44that and no mistaken whoa last man who made love to me like that I just got out
12:49of prison I wasn't stressed enough already they knew a husband turned up to
12:53the voiceover session yeah but he's away all afternoon he's on some protest
12:58against gay marriage he's notoriously homophobic yeah toast since what have
13:07you started wearing boys trainers since Lloyd Webber took my shoes where's the
13:12other one I don't know it's the least of my problems you're right
13:15no Michael Ball is after me yes one unusual fact about Michael Ball he has a
13:25vast amount of blood in his body really I read somewhere he has double the
13:30amount than your average person apparently it helps him belt out those
13:33power ballads I'll be after your ballads if you don't pay up yeah it's probably
13:38waiting for me at the theater I'll be ready as your soppy husband got any
13:41clean shirts good news for society bad news for Stephen toast quick under the
13:58bed toast absolutely not what I'm not hiding from Ray Purchase it's about time
14:02we came clean themselves what's all this about so where is the young buck
14:08toast purchase thought I could smell cheap aftershave and bullshit Ray
14:15careful of your blood pressure remember what dr. wojo said toast I may appear
14:20completely calm however inwardly and I am in fact working out exactly how I'm
14:24gonna kill you and this time I will kill you I shit be made oh give it a rest Ray
14:30so what have you done with the young starter was wearing these a where is he
14:32thought you'd have a three-piece did you a what a threesome you prat those
14:39trainers belong to toast he's borrowed them who from a 15 year old so where are
14:44your proper shoes Andrew Lloyd Webber has them what wait a second are you
14:49wearing my shirt all right now someone slept with my wife I'd be equally
14:55irritated but she is one feisty independently minded modern gal she can
15:00sleep with whoever she pleases another woman ever took her fancy hey yeah I'm
15:04cool with that Ray what about never now you mind getting out of my oh you're
15:11going nowhere toast Oh grow up Ray I'm serious toast I'm gonna kill you what I
15:30just always wondered why you walked in such a strange manner what the hell are
15:35you talking about well did you know you had one leg shorter than the other no I
15:40don't
15:45let's go tell fuck them up
15:50Oh
16:03wait
16:06me now I'm being out yeah I'm a lazy bitch Oh must care toast yeah let's make
16:28a coffee in the morning you can tell me all about your stepson's half-brother
16:32talking of your cafe whatever happened to that young artist with the gorgeous
16:36ass he used to come in on a Friday well with an ass like that I'm sure he can do
16:42what he likes
16:52fuck no
17:03Andrew simply wants his money and I'm going to get it for him it's not rocket
17:10science
17:32that'll be our king it's timing as perfect as usual everything is in place
17:46we are all gathered in anticipation please enter your grace
17:53Oh raise him but he is divine all praise him but he is divine all praise
18:05him but he is divine all praise him
18:11this is shit all praise him but he is divine all praise him excuse me do you
18:24happen to know where the toilets are um yes just down there on the left let our
18:41high priest step forward you can't escape Lloyd Webber toast this place
18:49stops until Andrew gets his money it's not rocket science you've got a fucking
18:54nerve leaping onto the stage during another actor's play you of all people
18:59should know better than that ball you don't seem to understand you are Lloyd
19:05Webber 20 grand you must place it in my
19:19ah
19:26Jesus
19:31that extra blood is helping
19:37looks like your luck is finally shit out what's with this is serious toast
19:42never taking me seriously who the fuck is this his name's Ray purchase he's a
19:47massive idiot oh shit bro I'm off stand back everyone there'll be a lot of blood
20:00yes I have double the amount of blood in my body I know oh dear look out oh by
20:08the way toast I know about you and Phoebe who my ex-girlfriend Phoebe Phoebe
20:15is that how you pronounce it I thought it was foe it's pronounced Phoebe you
20:22rattled the picture book she was fair game I told me she'd hooked up with some
20:26second-rate actor Benny scraps at the chip shop who I now discover finds
20:32himself appearing in what is generally regarded as the worst play ever produced
20:37ten minutes after I left too soon toast too soon not rocket science well if it's
20:48any consolation fee Phoebe she dubbed me pretty sharpish by the way toast what
20:56could you possibly call me an ambulance I think it's too late for oh I mean
21:00there's a hell of a lot of blood oh okay well then could you see that my
21:07body is placed in an airtight capsule and launched into outer space it's what
21:14my fans would want hang on a minute that is rocket science yes toast a Robert
21:52Oh
22:03can you believe it what a turnaround experimental theater at its finest
22:09according to the standard it's a pity Michael Ball isn't in it every night
22:14yes I hate to admit it but he still delivers the goods he died earlier today
22:19Diddy that's a shame did they arrest rape purchase there'll be enough when
22:23this is to hang that bastard more importantly I have good news on the bond
22:27front are you sitting down well I'm clearly sitting down Jane you've got the
22:31role really but I made a slight error they don't actually want you for the
22:36role of James Bond they want you for double take man is he a regular no he
22:42fucking isn't he's just a man who looks incredulous twice he's no more than an
22:48extra how the fuck could you get that so wrong can you stop swearing the finer
22:53details must have been on the attachments and I don't normally read
22:55attachments unbelievable India where the hell is toast parcel fucking Jane it's
23:05from Lloyd Webber tremendous news he's taken over production of your play what
23:09does he say don't worry about the 20,000 pounds sorry I took your shoes I hope
23:15these fit nicely
23:45that ball guy with his high balance giving me a little bit of chills on the
23:55performance hey from worst plates and now the one of the best fuck yeah let's
23:59go toast hold on a second we got to talk about a fucking wacky shit rape fucking
24:03purchase ladies and gentlemen this was a great episode not entirely familiar with
24:10Michael Ball you guys can fill me in a little bit but what a freaking voice the
24:14vocal there you know singing some great ballads there man that was downright
24:19giving me some goosebumps and sending some chills down I guess down my spine or
24:24whatever because that was some great ass vocals that theater performance was one
24:29of the highlights of this episode man listen Stephen toast as James James Bond
24:38I was loving this kind of bond shit going on here he didn't quite have the
24:43performance of his lifetime in the thing shooting up the place scaring all
24:47that shit that shit was absolutely crazy I think this was a great episode guys
24:52quick question is there anybody in this planet that Stephen toast has not checked
24:58man my man is checked like every lady oh my god man fucking that performance with
25:04ball there at the end the blood I have a lot of blood yes I know yeah you got
25:11double the blood and yeah all that blood squirting and then the shitty
25:17performance as soon as I freaking toast is on the stage he's quite getting booed
25:22and shit and rape fucking purchase man that guy is great you know I like there
25:28I guess you can say I don't know if you call it chemistry but I don't know they
25:32they gel well as weird as it is obviously they this guy fucking hates
25:36toast rightfully so he keeps fucking shagging his wife every chance he gets
25:40hey when you win in doubt you lose your mobile phone you don't remember the
25:43number just go hit up the phone booth right there her numbers right there you
25:47know I'm sure plenty of people have taken that number down just kidding but
25:51um yeah that was great again it is crazy seeing her on this in the short time
25:58that we see her always getting smashed that shit is absolutely funny oh my god
26:02so toast hell of a performance I mean this was great he got again you got that
26:07James Bonds kind of vibes you know Craig eat your heart eat your heart out man my
26:11boy toast coming for the spot man and he did a hell of a job but fucking Jane man
26:16why the fuck did she always get things all confused and backwards and shit man
26:21she fucking sucked man as a freaking agent man I was so ecstatic for him you
26:25know you seen the papers you know they basically a turn of events you know a
26:30change things going up from a boy and then he's gonna be this fucking like
26:35extra bullshit here man goddamn Jane be pissing me off V with all this chaos it
26:41was a lot of chaos going in again you got the the poker guy does that that
26:47laugh I don't know what the fuck that laugh shit but that shit was crap you
26:50know making me laugh a hell of a lot and my man's down 20,000 man lost his shoes
26:56couldn't get you know home you know etc etc but he still has time because he's
27:02gotta do this job and then go back to the studio to record this gay porn dub
27:08shit going on and fucking Ray fucking purchase in the building right there man
27:13that shit was crazy so when purchase is doing you know doing that and obviously
27:21when toast is doing I could not stop fucking laughing man there's something
27:27about doing those type of sound effects in a tongue movements and shit like that
27:32that are absolutely hilarious to see you know I'm not gonna lie sometimes I do
27:38those kind of funny faces you know just just just for shits and giggles not not
27:44for no dub porn shit but you know there's sometimes some instances you
27:48just doing stupid ass faces I've always been doing wacky faces and I don't know
27:54you guys remember but even in ab fab you see Patsy doing those crazy faces
27:59when she was I think it was in the bathroom with the lady that had like the
28:02blue blue outfit and you know she was doing that in front of that lady and
28:08shit man oh my god I'll never forget that scene but yeah another dope episode
28:13you know you got toast smashing half of the the world planet I think that the
28:18dynamic that goes on with purchase you know going crazy rightfully so my man
28:23wants to kill freaking you know toast chasing him around going well you know
28:28where to find him anyway he's gonna be in one of the world's shit he is you
28:33know play productions there but yeah that shit was great I think this is a
28:37great episode this was a really really strong episode fill me in on mr. ball
28:42apologize I don't know everybody and stuff like that but I think he did a
28:46hell of a performance there you know you got this kind of enforcer guy there to
28:50claim the money so he definitely you know sang well obviously but he he
28:55played the part very good so I was very very excuse me very impressed by his
29:01performance toast phenomenal Ray fucking purchase
29:04phenomenal Jane I always get her last name I keep calling her plow in my head
29:09I know she keeps saying it and shit but I ain't gonna remember that shit but
29:12Jane his performance was great and yeah overall I just enjoyed the episode I do
29:16like when you know toast gets mad like fucking Clem fandango and shit you've
29:22made up fucking name and shit oh my god don't that booth scene shit when they're
29:27dubbing and these guys laughing in the background fucking with toast I love it
29:31so another dope episode check enjoying the show check man Matt Barry fantastic
29:38so thank you all to those who be suggesting shows on the channel
29:41massively appreciate it don't forget to Like comment subscribe absolutely free
29:45to do a shout out to the patrons as well links are always in the description
29:49section if you're curious for that you also help out the channel just by
29:52liking and commenting and watching ladies and gentlemen and subscribing so
29:56with that being said enjoy your weekend thank you for kicking it and we'll see
29:59you soon with more one more toast soon peace