toastafternoonteareactionYT
Transcript
00:00What's up Wolfpack fam it's your boy Kid back at it again hope you're doing well continue
00:14my journey of you know toast of London with Matt Barry and the crew looking forward to
00:18see what shenanigans what adventures they lie on on this week's episode I got to stay
00:23tuned to find out ladies and gentlemen snacks it's not included damn it you got to bring
00:27your own don't forget to get your get up go get your drink go get your tea whatever you
00:31need I had my let's see what we had today brain fart bacon eggs and coffee that's the
00:38jumpstart my day so hopefully Matt Barry and cast will provide some much-needed joy and
00:44let's get this one started let's get it snacks not included let's freakin go
01:15now your place got a mention in the paper photo of you as well and some protesters outside the
01:23theater it's not a review is it it says stereotypical offensive caricatures predominate
01:28in this cack-handed abysmal travesty has to try very hard indeed to recall a worse play
01:33on the London stage actually Ed please don't continue I don't think my guts could confront
01:38it I've had much worse reviews than this at least you're through the opening night
01:41oh thank you be nerve-wracking I once tried to kill myself before the opening of a very
01:46poor production of Coriolanus took a massive cocktail of painkillers but the adrenaline
01:50just neutralized them if you had have killed yourself your career would have been radically
01:54different how so well you wouldn't receive your royalty checks on those old drummers
01:57they play on ITV3 and you'd be dead I got to get off I'm rehearsing a new play one job not
02:06enough for you good luck quick cooking tip for you Ed when following a recipe always put twice
02:13the ingredients specified if it says two carrots put in four one onion put in two half a pound
02:19of mushrooms put in the full pound wouldn't you then just get a very big meal sorry I'm late
02:36having a shit bag of a day oh god Ray Purchase well well look who it is Stephen hide your
02:50missus cuz I'll fuck anything toast get over it Purchase you two should leave any conflict
02:57outside the door now join the circle let's begin by telling each other who we are the
03:05name of our character and something interesting about us Kika my name is Kika Bright I'll be
03:12playing part of Stella and last year I performed Shakespeare in Central Park with Scarlett
03:17Johansson very very swish Ray my name is Ray Purchase and I will be playing a part of the
03:27magistrates something interesting about you well toast regularly fucks my wife can we not mention
03:36that again anyway I'm Akka Heron your director I've just returned from North Africa where I
03:45directed a local cast production of Hamlet now that is swish where the sets made of sand
03:58Stephen Toast and I'm playing Jeff something interesting about yourself Stephen oh yeah I
04:08can roll my eyes into the back of my head oh my god Undertaker useful for drama and comedy I should
04:17think now before we open the text I'd like us to loosen up and focus using something called a
04:25which is a warm-up I learned in Africa great
04:28I'm sorry you gotta be fucking kidding okay if you wanna shit on me I'll shit on you but you
04:53better be wearing a fucking helmet I don't remember where I heard that thing before
05:03Special Olympics but the Special Olympics for assholes and as I was saying the last person I
05:15wanted to see there was Ray Purchase and that director's fucking crackers Akka is very highly
05:20strong but he inspires fierce loyalty even when he killed one of his actors the rest of the cast
05:26remain devoted to him I'm not saying he lacks charisma he's passionate sorry did you say he
05:31killed an actor yes on some Pinter play about ten years ago he killed an actor Christ and even
05:37Pinter wouldn't do that the actor can't maybe his name wasn't much caught from what I can remember
05:43anyway he wouldn't do what Akka wanted so Akka stabbed him Akka died but Akka got away with
05:49manslaughter good grief Josh had seen his Trojan women at the National was a huge fan so we got
05:56off you know I'm not sure I should be working with a director that murders actors well might
06:00undo the damage of you being in that play everyone hates that play feels worse than being a pedophile
06:06really toast what a thing to say in the current climate well you put me in that bloody play Jane
06:13I didn't want to do it Jane Clough spelt PLOUGH pronounced plot he's very much a family man who
06:23but the 70s was ages ago he probably doesn't remember who just one moment please Scotland
06:30Yard are investigating another client could you just slink off fuck off yes I saw your advert on
06:38the computer and I quite like a blonde yes yes blonde is my favorite color so we could meet
06:48tomorrow at 4 p.m. at the Beverly Hotel South Kensington I'm a traveling salesman look how
06:56much will it cost no I'm not the 80 registered okay my name is Royce Coolidge and her name is
07:06Laurie what l-o-r-r-what no l-o-r-r-I I see no I don't have a loyalty card thanking you
07:17we have here what I think it is pretty good Steven Bradford I didn't recognize you with
07:32that fell out of a tree you're gorgeous I mean you look gorgeous how's Ellen who your wife my
07:38soon-to-be ex-wife actually I'm a gay divorcee I'm not gay are you still acting not as much
07:45oh that's a shame you're quite good how's fuckface what's his name Gary yeah we're
07:50divorced too I'm going to my club for a cocktail do you fancy joining me oh come on
07:57he's smooth or what so you're a TV producer yeah what are you working on these days a documentary
08:07six-part thing it's called London lives it's kind of about the dark underbelly of the capital
08:12sounds good yeah but it's just a job you know I prefer getting my kicks in other ways I remember
08:21I like trying new things I'm an excitement junkie pinky me too shall we meet up again next week yeah
08:29why don't I just give you my card should we say Friday provisionally yes so why don't you ring me
08:37and yes whoa my man I think Stephen should be the Shaka
08:43I know I heard that before I'm trying to remember
08:58you know he murdered an actor what I keep your stupid mouth shut about that toast but he was
09:13murdered it was manslaughter a second-rate actor gets killed by the director no big deal happens
09:18every day does it I really wouldn't mention it again toast Steve fuck you're fucked guys you're
09:29trying to undermine me why I expect total loyalty from my actors at all times I feel for any project
09:36to work I need to have them just where I want them by the balls quick question have you ever had
09:45anybody by the balls literally yes I mean literally to feel another man's cojones lying
09:51in the palm of one's hand never had that experience Steven I can't say I have you yes I have Benedict
10:00Cumberbatch who I felt them literally rolling around both of us staring into each other's eyes
10:07it seemed like an eternity but it was less than half an hour he cracked in the end we did it my
10:17way I'm not joking this isn't Michael McIntyre's comedy roadshow and when I say literally I do of
10:25course literally mean literally scares me
10:32Jesus Christ we need to talk to toast you are in serious danger of jeopardizing this
10:56production because you hate Acker do you hate Acker I hardly know the man he believes you're
11:00not showing him the requisite loyalty I have to ask you something else confidentially what you
11:06know about the other murder what other murder Ray don't ask him if he knows about the other murder
11:10but I thought you I wasn't gonna ask him about the other murder Ray I was gonna ask him about
11:14the extra rehearsal on Saturday you don't know about that do you what the extra rehearsal no
11:19the other murder stop mentioning that Ray anyway you don't know about it do you what the thing that
11:26Ray mentioned there but shouldn't have mentioned I don't know anything this is fucking ridiculous
11:30that's good don't tell anyone about it look if someone Jesus sorry mate go ahead I'll freeze me
11:36back what do you want to join in what the hell they doing that shit oh he's never gonna let
11:57that one go the implication was that Acker's murdered someone else I got that distinct
12:03impression I think Ray Purchase got cat mouth and revealed it in error period well shouldn't
12:08we contact the police well with murders once you get the police in things can get complicated I
12:14agree if ever I heard about a murder I wouldn't contact the police why not overcrowded prisons
12:19no much along the lines of what you've just said once you get the police involved with a murder
12:23things can escalate look you have to get me out of this Acker play I mean tell him anything tell
12:30him I've got VD where would you get it you haven't been exactly active recently you don't cross you
12:39just do what he says you don't want him as an enemy now bugger off toast I've got strawberry
12:43Rathbone popping in in 15 minutes if she sees you here there'll be a scene a scene you say
12:48maybe a first for her in a while
12:50what are you playing at sorry toast didn't let me in strength fire fucking blast not again
13:08language violation toast you're right well if it's the crown jewels you're referring to it not
13:13good okay ladies and gentlemen play is suspended thank you something on your mind toast do you
13:21remember Greta cargo from Ryder yeah very much into sex very cool I bumped into her on the street
13:28always thought she was great in fact that's an anagram of her name great to swap the A and the
13:33T it's a very simple one but so it is anyway I've created a problem for myself I've contacted an
13:39agency an estate agency no a different kind of agency travel agency what no escort agency
13:46well lots of chaps use agencies I've read about it I mean you might have done it I haven't done it
13:54that's fine yeah but I haven't done it okay I mean if you honestly haven't done it all right he did
14:00it so I'm meeting this escort in this posh hotel in South Kent tomorrow I can't wait there's a
14:06great afternoon tea as well so this is the dilemma if I hook up with the escort the sex is
14:11guaranteed if I'm a Greta and nothing happens I'll shit out and be doubly disappointed you want my
14:16advice yeah go where the sex is it's exactly what I was thinking what 400 quid 400 quid how do you
14:24know hey you're spot-on there's a guest who it's just a guest bastard he's top-line sales
14:33I'm the traveling salesman from room 560 I'm expecting a visitor she's blonde and her name
14:43is Laurie just I'll be here just ring up I'll come straight down toast toast Zach a Harry meet
14:56me at the Olympian Club you want to meet now yes now but I have to I wouldn't waste our time unless
15:02it was important I can't I've got a I'll text you the address what the fuck is he doing shit does
15:09he think he is oh god fencing tells one so much about a fella about his commitment his loyalty
15:22about how much of a man he is do we have to I have an afternoon tea appointment at 4
15:29you have a natural talent toast I like to think I've mastered the basic skills
15:42that hurt did it your suits fitted with electronic sensors a direct hit results in a massive electric
15:52shock enough to kill a small dog what the hell are you playing at I'm testing you out toast I
15:58want to make sure you're the kind of man I can rely on oh brother he's getting it
16:14I think you proved yourself out there you passed part one of the test
16:22how does that feel toast
16:38less than half an hour
16:42we're not letting go toast we're going to break your balls
16:58metaphorically and literally oh yeah his face man
17:04what time's your appointment four o'clock and it's crucial I don't arrive with this
17:14particular appointment with crushed nuts
17:16loyalty to me into the production yes I just know we're going to achieve great things with
17:31this play this is a terrible time for theater have you heard about that shit that's on the
17:37playhouse it's everything I hate all the actors in that should be stripped naked shot and shot
17:45at all hang on a second toast in that play what a snitch you're in that play he's in that play
17:54okay oh my god well that's it's rather disappointing give me a moment I just need
18:05to think about strategy here I'll be back in a minute oh fuck why are you such a grass purchase
18:13look if you're in some shit play I can each to know about it you can't resist it can you
18:19poking that big nose of yours in you're such a fucking prick pray please leave this could turn
18:27ugly I wouldn't mind staying leave I don't want any witnesses and lock all the doors behind you
18:36okay walked guys so just you and me toast shouldn't I put my fencing outfit on actually
18:51you're wearing mine we're not doing fencing anymore toast we're doing killing this is
18:57what you get for doing shit theater you're going to die okay you win aka is it not customary to
19:08give a condemned man a last request okay what is it we've left the shower on I hate wasting water
19:16you wouldn't mind turning it off fine you know it's good to be concerned about environmental
19:23issues all right ray purchases locked all the doors so you can't escape resistance will be
19:30futile yes come on come on I'm guessing the rehearsals canceled reception I'm the traveling
19:45salesman from room five six zero shit I've forgotten my name look look if someone comes
19:52to the hotel asking for the name of a guest who isn't a resident it'll probably be for me
19:58hello Royce Coolidge yes that's who I am yes she fantastic I'll be straight down thanking you
20:15see here no way I'm just here meeting an old male man school friend I hear the afternoon tea's
20:34great what are you doing here I'm working working yes I'm meeting someone they called it John in
20:41the trade I should explain no no no no no no this is amazing has it got anything to do with an
20:48agency yes ah what are the odds I'm surprised you're always pretty adventurous shall we I'm
21:00not sure what you mean Stephen this is part of the documentary series I'm producing we're here
21:05oh my god he's meeting in fact he's on his way down as we speak so if you could just
21:41my head and fear that shame who am I the cost of stone I've enough dark demons of my own just a
21:54poem in a very complex game now I hang my head and fear and shame how I hang my head and fear and
22:04shame yes I come on toast
22:35yeah guys you're wasting your time you're wasting the air in your lungs I know for a
22:40fact that Stephen toast is dead don't ask me why I just know he is I know he's dead
22:45let's go Ray fucking purchase
23:05a couple of questions I'm thinking right now
23:08this is a good time guys
23:20this episode was quite shocking we got to talk about a thank you if you made it this far hanging
23:25out with me and toast and and Ray fucking purchase here hold on a second ladies and
23:32gentlemen for Ray fucking purchase tell us something interesting about you well I toast
23:39regularly fucks my wife you know I don't care I hope that I get to hear that simple line hundreds
23:49of times on this show there that is never gonna be not funny there so again obviously we understand
23:56why this guy hates toast and shit rightfully so you know toast is just regularly smashing
24:01his wife oh man it's so cool knowing that it was the F&D lady so I thought this was a dope
24:09episode from start to finish this shit is it's crazy it's wonky there's shocking moments it's
24:16crazy fuck moments here got the escort business going on I gotta have a I got a question with
24:25Ed did he cuz he knew it was 400 right what would be the odds that he probably got the lady
24:35that toast was about to meet up with before it he found out it was gonna be some documentary shit
24:41what are the fucking odds that the other lady that he was eventually gonna meet up with at
24:45some point it's this lady she's doing a fucking documentary and shit I thought she was the escort
24:50ladies and gentlemen uh you know consider me silly but I thought she was gonna be the escort
24:56and shit that you look to the side and you know shit I mean god damn I mean you know if you could
25:02pick one obviously we already know which one I'm picking in that scenario but obviously that lady
25:07wasn't an escort and shit so good episode I gotta say that Acker guy that you know the screen dude
25:17that guy with the crazy fucking killer killer kind of eyes the one that's a murderer you know
25:24killed actors and shit man that guy was creepy he did his part so good that guy added a lot of
25:33intensity on this episode funny as hell man yeah the way he was looking Ray not that far behind
25:39too with a kind of sinister crazy madman so I'm getting some madman like it this guy's fucking
25:45and Ray Purchase as well crazy as fuck I I find him definitely interesting character Ray Purchase
25:54is a fucking interesting character as well so I think I guess the expression take it by the
26:02balls grab it by the balls I now find new meaning to that shit literal meaning to that stuff so
26:09crazy wonky character in Acker again fantastic job by him again was loving the swordplay shit
26:18going on the young guard I found that to be cool and definitely had shocking moments here you know
26:25hearing toast you know early on calling he was like blind and 400 pounds I was thinking something
26:31of that lines of you know the escort call girl hooker whatever yeah so I mean I definitely find
26:38toast life to be very very interesting and again the paper says it all worse fucking play man shit
26:46performances the signs in the background you know with the crowd it's funny alongside that but man
26:52there is definitely toast man he is just fucking brilliant there man oh my god he's got the
26:59greatest one of the greatest voices that we have heard and to me makes a lot of these scenarios
27:04even more funnier enjoying the show Jane is a weirdo as well to hold up I feel like bear with
27:11bear with that's that's what I'm thinking a lot of times when she's not talking and you know being
27:17interrupted can you fuck off please and shit yeah I just honestly it was just a great episode I felt
27:23that this was a great episode with the intensity people kind of creeping up behind you and shit
27:31like really quickly I don't even know how the hell they do that shit but that shit is creepy as hell
27:35this guy playing frisbee I haven't played frisbee in a since since a young kid I don't like nine ten
27:43years old so that was cool scene yeah just just honestly just enjoying it man Matt Barry's great
27:50some of these casts that are popping up here fantastic job again act act Ackman was good
27:57character there Ray Purchase we freaking love you know Ed is great in many moments there him
28:03trying to deny I just guessed it I just guessed the 400 pounds but yeah the question I'm thinking
28:08about is whether he's experienced that lady that this guy was about to meet but yeah I think toast
28:14is smooth with it though he may get like awards for shit actor and you know doing a shit play I
28:22mean he's fucking brilliant obviously that's an intentional part that he shit at his thing there
28:27and yeah I mean we just definitely want to see more but yeah him locking the door you got Ray
28:32Purchase grass and snitching I mean that's the worst type of shit that you could be doing and
28:37I'm just glad that toast got out of that situation so definitely looking forward to more we'll keep
28:42these short and sweet I think this was definitely in another enjoyable episode Matt Barry is great
28:47Ed is awesome Ray is awesome we'll see more with Jane I think she's doing a great job as well and
28:55yeah that Ackman guy was fucking crazy so yeah just looking forward to seeing some more wacky
29:02adventures it just seems like it's another show that's gonna keep me on my toes it's gonna be
29:07some crazy ass adventures crazy funny moments going on and I'm all for it so enjoying the
29:12journey so far thanks for hanging out enough of my yapping you know I know people got things to do
29:17places to go places you know things to see whatever the fuck I'm saying is but yeah we're
29:21enjoying it we'll see you guys don't forget to Like comment subscribe absolutely free to do
29:26yeah I'm just enjoying it guys as simple as that see you soon peace