Can You "Control" How Others Perceive You? | The Art of Beauty S04E02: Mental Health and Self-Care
How vital is inner self-care in reflecting your outer beauty? Can you really "control" how others perceive or speak about you?
Transcript
00:00A lot of times, people are comparing themselves to something that's not actually real.
00:04Correct. And I really, really dislike it when some netizens actually go after some of the celebrities.
00:09Oh, muka awam je.
00:15Hi everyone. Welcome back to Season 4, Episode 2 of Art of Beauty.
00:20My name is Amanda Imani and today we have this beautiful guest, this beautiful lady with me, Nana Muhammad.
00:25Hi everyone.
00:27Okay, Nana, you do everything. I follow you on Instagram and I know you cover everything from fitness, wellness, beauty, fashion, lifestyle.
00:36Maybe, would you like to give a little introduction to our viewers what you actually do?
00:41Oh, I'm just, as of now, I think I'm no longer seriously in the fitness, fitness scene.
00:48I mean, I used to, I guess about a few years back.
00:52But now I'm slowly moving on towards wellness and trying to just be a successful entrepreneur, I hope, you know.
01:01Yeah, of course. Fingers crossed. I mean, I know like you were speaking earlier to me about like, you know, how you just started like, you know, wanting to, you know, get more into wellness and how I've seen you do like yoga at home.
01:16Oh, that's true.
01:19And I'm like, wow, I should do that too. Because today's topic is actually mental health and self-care and I know you're big on that.
01:25And like from a mental health perspective, I wanted to ask you like, is there any beauty routines or rituals that you do on like, you know, maybe when you're feeling a little bit down that refresh your mood and you're, you know, kind of make yourself feel happy again?
01:41Oh, okay. The first thing that I would go for is long, hot, cold showers. So it's not neither hot or warm or cold, but it's a mixture of two, because I find that that kind of really relaxes my body.
01:55So it's like one minute cold and then one minute warm and hot and then like alternate that. And then seriously, I just more relaxed.
02:07Wow, really?
02:08And it's like rejuvenating as well. Yes. And at the same time, I kind of like to breathe while I'm doing this ritual. I would say ritual, right?
02:17Ritual. It is a ritual.
02:19And of course, you know, if in terms of not in a beauty part, but more so having a good conversation, a serious conversation, enlightening conversation with friends that you can really trust.
02:31So in my circle, can I say that?
02:35Yeah, of course.
02:36In my circle, I think I can count by fingers. Maybe it's just two of them. And one of it is my husband. So I truly appreciate that his presence where he is very easy to communicate with.
02:48And he's never judgy. And he would say that if I'm in the wrong side, or if I, if it's my fault, then he would say nicely to me that, oh, actually, maybe you a little bit overreacting on certain things.
03:04And this is what you should do. But he would say it nicely in a very constructive way. And then, you know, wanting me to be better.
03:11And another person is my manager. She's wonderful. She's wonderful. And I call her mommy.
03:19Aww, cute.
03:20I look up to her as a mentor in terms of entrepreneurship, self advancement, I would say grooming me to become a wiser woman.
03:34Because last time, I think, if I'm comparing myself, like many years ago, like I usually try to always over explaining myself, perhaps because of like, past past trauma and stuff like that, right?
03:50But now it's more so I take my time and evaluate every single thing. And then only I would answer. And that is not the beauty part. But the beauty part is, of course, you know, I get into more mindfulness, routine, our regime, like yoga, Pilates, breathing, and of course, Gua Sha.
04:12Yeah, you know, like I try to look like I try to maintain, I would say everyone to everyone want to maintain their youth, right? Yeah. And being 38 this year, I feel a lot of changes happening on my face, I would say a little bit wrinkled here, a little bit sagginess here and there.
04:32So I try to make it as natural as possible. And I find that it is really calming for my mental and my body as well.
04:40Yeah, wow. I mean, that that is really, you know, like the way you put it, like when you turn older, like when you get any age, and you realize, like, like you mentioned, you take things slower, and you really, like evaluate what you have to say what you put out there.
04:54I think a lot of times when we're like younger, we're a little bit more naive, a little more innocent, we just kind of like, you know, where our hearts on our sleeves. And sometimes we just say things that you know, we might regret later. So I think it's, you know, it's a natural, like progression of like aging that you you just become more self aware. And you're more also more comfortable in your own skin and what you have to say you're a firm believer in what you stand for, basically.
05:17Yeah, just always admirable. So yeah, talking about like, the wellness stuff that you do, because I know you do a lot of that on your Instagram. And I'm like, I'm always stalking. Okay, how can I be as fit and, you know, and as calm and relaxed as Nana, because you look, you know, you do a little bit of everything. And I think that's really, you know, respectable, because it's not easy in this industry. I feel like you have to wear many different hats.
05:44Yeah, and like, for you, do you see any sort of maybe there's a relationship between beauty and maybe like, you know, self care and mental health? Do you think that there's, you know, anything? Does one affect the other? Do you think?
05:58Yes, absolutely. To me, being fit is so subjective. I mean, maybe way back when when people look at me as oh my god, she is so fit, look at her muscular body and look at her muscular figure. But to me at that time, I mean, there's so many issues, so many issues, I may look tough and fit outside. But I think internally, it kind of like does a little bit of damage to my body as well.
06:27Because forcing myself to eat a certain amount of protein in X days. I mean, come on, like, I am not a big eater. I don't have a really big appetite and forcing myself to eat 2500 calories daily. It's really such a chore.
06:41Yeah. And I feel like it kind of like took a toll on my mental health as well. It's like trying to succumb to what society and netizens expect me to be in years to come. And then I guess 10 years later, I started to reevaluate myself. I mean, like, I don't have to please everyone, right? Yeah, I don't have to please everyone. And to me right now, my figure is like, what I'm comfortable with.
07:10I don't have to force it myself. I just eat intuitively how I feel on that day. And I feel that nutrition is really important if you really want to keep your body fit. Fitness is not just about being able to, I would say, run 10,000 miles or run 30 kilometers.
07:28Yeah, live a certain way.
07:54I just fell and half of my body was paralyzed, literally crawling to the toilet and then try to take a shower. And that's how overworked my body was last time because I was training twice a day. And I was like training people I was doing hosting and I was just like, try to be, I guess, try to prove to society that I can be this person. But deep down inside, I'm just doing a lot of damage to my body.
08:20So, as of now, I think I want people to sit down and really take a paper and then just like jot down like, what does fit means to them? And if it's being healthy, not feeling tired, not feeling lethargic and being able to move daily without feeling any pain or any limitation, and then that's good enough.
08:44And then from there you evaluate what kind of activity that is suitable for you. If it's Pilates, go for it. If it's yoga, go for it. And simple as walking daily. It's good enough because I mean, come on, walking is the best form of exercise ever. Right? But people always thought like, oh, you have to do all this crazy.
09:04You need all the equipment.
09:06Just for the gram, just for TikTok.
09:08Right.
09:09Well, it is not that. But again, when it comes to nutrition and fitness and being fit, it's number one, because without proper, intuitive, good, nutritious food, you will not be able to be fit.
09:23Yeah, I totally agree 100%. And I think, you know, like you mentioned.
09:27I think this session is becoming too serious now.
09:30I think people want to know because sometimes they don't know. They see you on Instagram and they're like, wow, she's like you said, like she's so fit. She must be like a really good space.
09:38Like they don't really, you know, know what goes behind the scenes and like how much effort it takes to actually maybe reach your goals.
09:46And to them, it's like, oh, she can do it. Then I can. But they don't really know what kind of, you know, things you've got to sacrifice, whether it's like lack of sleep or too much food or anything like that.
09:56And again, I feel like in this industry, people expect, you know, everyone to look and behave a certain way.
10:02So what do you think of, you know, society now and like maybe some of the unhealthy like fads and diets that have been going around?
10:11Because every every year or so, there is a new trend.
10:14There's like something that, OK, now it's the keto diet.
10:17And suddenly it's like, oh, everybody is just eating. I don't know. Just it's just a liquid diet, for example.
10:23There's like all these new, I don't know, fancy medication. Like what do you think?
10:27I mean, it's definitely a trend, but some of them can be quite unhealthy and dangerous.
10:32Like what's your opinion on that?
10:33OK, I'm not going to mention any certain trend because I pissed many people enough talking about this, I would say, topic.
10:42But what I can say is that you need to find out who you are.
10:47You really need to know yourself, having self-awareness about your health.
10:51Right. Because, I mean, yes, we have the same kind of like, you know, organ and things like that or whatsoever as a human. Right.
11:02But our health is not the same.
11:04Right. Everyone's kind of different.
11:05Right. Everyone is different. Our DNA is different.
11:08So find out if your parents, your grandmother have any health issues and then get yourself checked.
11:17If you have extra, I would say, budget, go for DNA tests, go for health tests, health screening every year so that you are up to date on your health levels.
11:30And then from there, you decide, what should I do?
11:35What kind of change should I be doing right now?
11:37Because you cannot just eat because it's a trend.
11:40You cannot just eat because your coach says so.
11:43Yeah.
11:44You know, and then, I mean, way back when, when people asked me, like, most of my clients used to ask me and say, oh, you know, like, you eat this, can I also follow your diet?
11:52I would say, no. I mean, this may work for me, but it might not work for you.
11:56Because for me to understand my body, it takes months.
11:59And even now, I'm still learning about my body.
12:01Like, I used to be able to eat cauliflower with no problem.
12:05But now it gives me, like, humongous, hideous, intolerable gas.
12:11I love cherries and I used to eat, like, half a bowl of cherries and really indulge in it.
12:19But I can't anymore.
12:20So your body keeps changing.
12:23So please don't follow diet.
12:28Like, truly, like, you know, take the time to get to know your body.
12:33Jot down what you eat and then wait after one hour and see how it feels.
12:37If you feel bloated, sluggish, tired, sleepy, and then you try to experiment next week and then not eating this certain food and then see how you feel.
12:47And when it comes to liquid diet, I mean, it's a yes or no for me.
12:50Because I do sometimes do kind of like a liver detoxification protocols just to make sure that my liver is functioning properly.
12:58Because you don't know what kind of, like, things we eat, right, when we're eating outside.
13:04So please do not follow trend.
13:06Trend is there. Just think of trend.
13:08That's why it's called a trend.
13:10That's true. Yeah.
13:11I feel like, you know, back then when I was growing up, like, you didn't really have all this, you know, like, platforms to actually, you know, relate to other people.
13:20Because now people, like I said, like social media, it's a pretty open space.
13:23You see people going through the same thing.
13:25You don't feel so alone.
13:26Yeah.
13:27But what would you say, like, what were some of the steps you took?
13:31I know you said, like, you started your wellness journey, started doing things that you felt like, you know, you didn't need to please everybody.
13:37You want to do something for yourself.
13:38And I think that's really important.
13:40For anybody who's watching and maybe is feeling like kind of in a rut.
13:43Like, what would you say to them to maybe, like, you know, get themselves back on track and, you know, get back into feeling fully themselves?
13:51Oh, okay.
13:52Wow.
13:53This is a really heavy topic.
13:56Okay.
13:57Like I said, I'm having someone to talk to.
13:58Yeah.
13:59That is definitely.
14:00And that someone should be someone that you trust and also emotionally intelligent.
14:06And what I realized along the way, I mean, the kind of friends, friends, I'm really sorry.
14:10I love you guys.
14:11But some of you are not emotionally intelligent.
14:13So I'm sorry about that.
14:15You're just like fun and laugh.
14:16But when it comes to like a.
14:19Real talk.
14:20Real talk.
14:21Everybody just.
14:22Yeah.
14:23And that's the thing.
14:24Like when everything is going good, everybody wants to hang out.
14:25And then when things get a little bit, you know, downhill, everybody's like missing and nobody is there.
14:30And I really.
14:31No, I'm not going to say hate it because hate is a really big word.
14:34But I would say I dislike it when I'm trying to have a really real conversation with someone.
14:40They kind of like diss you and then they say like such an energy sucker.
14:47Right.
14:48Every down there.
14:49Because sometimes we really, truly want to have like a really good conversation.
14:52Right.
14:53So, yeah, having someone that truly understand you doesn't judge you.
14:56Is a good support.
14:57It's a good support system.
14:58It's number one.
15:01Number two is get yourself a help.
15:05Oh, wow.
15:06I mean, I do not go to a therapy like session or whatnot because I mean, I think I'm my own therapist because indirectly I because I learned psychology.
15:17I study psychology.
15:18Oh, my God.
15:19So I kind of like self-evaluating myself.
15:22Just sometimes I kind of like need reassurance.
15:24So hence, I need this emotionally intelligent people who doesn't judge.
15:30And then just to.
15:31Oh, OK.
15:32Yeah.
15:33Now I realize.
15:34Oh, OK.
15:35You know, because I feel like sometimes when you want to speak to someone, it's really just you want to be heard.
15:39And it's not necessarily like you need a solution.
15:42You know, you just kind of want to vent out your emotions.
15:44And sometimes that helps a lot.
15:45Totally get that.
15:46And I'm sure you guys watching will understand that, too.
15:49And another thing is that I went to I'm not too sure whether I can share this or not.
15:53But I mean, if you know what's called energy healing.
15:58So I started getting into that and I kind of like learn a lot from that process.
16:05And I think in some way it healed me.
16:09Wow.
16:10I got to know that I'm 100 percent empath.
16:12And before this, I don't understand why when I go out and I come back home and I feel so lethargic to a point where I can't do anything.
16:22And sometimes I do feel sick as well.
16:24Like I do feel like feverish and I feel like I caught a migraine.
16:29And then I learned that, oh, yeah, I actually feel other people.
16:34And as I learn about this space and I'm like, oh, OK, I kind of like need to learn how to protect my energy so that I don't absorb all this negativity around me.
16:43And sometimes I kind of like do it unintentionally.
16:47Right. So having learned how to set boundaries and also protect my own energy.
16:56It's really amazing because truly I kind of like heightens my self-awareness as well.
17:01Like, oh, OK. And yes, listen to my gut.
17:04Yeah, yeah, definitely.
17:06I used to diss my gut, my gut feeling when I was younger.
17:11But for the past two years, I kind of like learn to trust it because, yes, you know, trusting your mind.
17:20Your intuition, right?
17:21Trusting your mind when it comes to certain things is needed, but something and sometimes you just need to trust your gut intuition.
17:31And most of the time it is right.
17:33So that's what I do.
17:35Breathing a lot of breathing.
17:37And also, I mean, I'm not into journaling much because I'm such a bad writer.
17:42I'm really bad at writing my emotion on paper.
17:49But if you're into journaling, you can just do it anywhere right now because on your phone and if you're using iPhone, you can just open the journal app and just start journaling and jot down.
17:59Most of the time I have, I just keep it.
18:03I just keep it in a mental picture in my brain.
18:06If I forget, if I forget, if not, OK, now remembering.
18:11So, yeah, that's what I've been doing.
18:15What do you think of like, you know, the societal expectations of women, especially?
18:20I think, you know, they have these unrealistic, I guess, like expectations of how women should be, how they should act, how they should look and how they should dress.
18:30Do you think like social media, especially being in the entertainment industry and like social media, does that perpetuate, you know, this ideal standards for beauty for women, especially that are kind of unrealistic at times?
18:43Yes, absolutely.
18:45Absolutely.
18:46I mean, come on, we can just call ourselves more progressive or like more urban whatsoever.
18:53Right.
18:54More advanced.
18:56But let's be real, people.
18:59You are not.
19:01I'm sorry.
19:02Don't don't come up to me.
19:03OK, like, come on.
19:05I mean, if you look at someone's body and then.
19:08OK, just imagine.
19:12Right.
19:13So this good looking man got married to like an OK.
19:19I think she's pretty in a natural way.
19:21And he can do better.
19:23Oh, yeah.
19:24Why is she not this way?
19:25Why she doesn't look like this?
19:27Why?
19:28Why?
19:29Why you keep complaining about other people's body?
19:31You mind your own business.
19:33Totally.
19:34Yeah.
19:36I feel that people need to stop and media also need to stop.
19:41And I know, like, I'm sorry again, media.
19:44I'm sorry, media.
19:45But I mean, sometimes I do.
19:47I mean, I do understand that that's how you actually gain traffic.
19:51Right.
19:52Right.
19:53Like people, the way people dress, like the kind of brand they wear.
19:56Sometimes it's nothing, you know, sometimes it's nothing.
19:59But you make it into something.
20:01So I feel that is very unhealthy way.
20:03And then, again, I just want to remind you guys that this kind of little nitpicking
20:07and all this thing, you don't know the kind of effects that you're going to give to the people or the person.
20:15Right.
20:16Because you never know the kind of struggle that a person actually going through behind the scene.
20:20Totally.
20:21Because you don't live with them.
20:22Yeah.
20:23So I think that the beauty standard and stuff like that.
20:27You always need to constantly remind yourself, like, do I need to comment about people's body every day?
20:34Maybe you should get a look into a mirror and ask yourself, am I perfect?
20:39Yeah.
20:40If you're not, then.
20:42Right.
20:43And I really, really dislike it when, you know, some netizens actually go up to some of the celebrities.
20:52What does it mean?
20:53What does that mean?
20:54What does it mean?
20:56You have a royal face.
21:00So in that sense, I mean, I think you put it in a really good way.
21:05Like you said, people sometimes are nasty and can say nasty things, especially online.
21:11What would you say to someone, for example, who idolizes people that they maybe see on television
21:19and they feel like, you know, I want to look exactly like that.
21:21And they go to extremes.
21:23Maybe it could be going under the knife or, like I said, going on some crazy diet, changing how they look, plastic surgery, things like that.
21:31What is your opinion on that?
21:33Like people trying to look a certain way and maybe not.
21:35And I think a lot of that stems from not being confident with who they are and their self-esteem.
21:40What would you say to people to build their self-confidence or their self-esteem?
21:46Again, you have to ask yourself why you are doing this at first.
21:51Like why you are not comfortable and what you are not comfortable with yourself.
21:57And then start asking your value.
21:59Like I always reminded my clients that you shouldn't do things because you want to please other people.
22:06The first person that you should please is always yourself because nobody is paying your bill.
22:13All these people, they are not paying your bill.
22:15You work hard. You work hard and then you have to put on certain effort so that you make a living
22:21and then you'll be able to support yourself and pay your bills.
22:24But at the same time, if you're not taking care of your mental health, then you will not be able to do this.
22:31So, always ask yourself why and what you are doing to yourself and then jot down.
22:41So, that's number one.
22:43And then number two, I think we all should stop pleasing other people.
22:48Stop pleasing other people.
22:51And number three, ask yourself, are you happy when you do this?
22:55Because sometimes you do it because you want to get married, you want to get engaged,
23:00because your friend do it, you want to feel included.
23:03Yeah, that peer pressure.
23:04Yeah, peer pressure and then you want to be in the trend and all these things.
23:10So, yeah, ask yourself that.
23:13I mean, if it doesn't make you happy and if it's just on the surface, then it is not.
23:18And then ask yourself lastly, number four, will it do damage to your physical body permanently?
23:24Right, yeah, yeah, definitely.
23:26Because I've seen, I've seen some stuff.
23:29Yeah, irreversible things that people do to themselves.
23:33Well, just to wrap things up, I think Nana basically put it in a really,
23:37you said it really well, like how you said, like, you know, it's all about intent, support system.
23:41These are the keywords that I've picked up from you.
23:43Being in the moment, willingness, commitment, discipline, seek help when you need to.
23:49And, you know, just trust your gut and your instinct and follow your intuition most times.
23:55And I would say, you know, what else?
23:57Do you have anything else you'd like to add apart from what you just said?
24:00Anything else, you know, for people who are going or struggling, apart from all those things?
24:05Any, you know, last comments or any last things?
24:08I think what really benefits and really changed me as a person and individual is that I love to self-reflect.
24:15Self-awareness, self-reflect.
24:18Sometimes when you plan out things and then it doesn't go your way, or drama happen,
24:24or like you're fighting with someone, you have a disagreement with someone,
24:29always sit down, jot down and then have a chat with, for example, your mom or like your husband or like your good friend.
24:36And then ask, am I overreacting?
24:40Not for them to be on your side.
24:43So, it is really important to find someone that really can give you that kind of advice,
24:49like honest, genuine advice, but you have to be willing to accept this.
24:57The key word here is willing to change and willing to accept.
25:01Self-awareness, right?
25:02So, if let's say the person say, oh no, the other person is treating you unwell and is being a certain way to you,
25:12quite toxic to you, sending you some negative behavior or energy,
25:17then maybe it's about time for you to cut this person out of your life.
25:20I know it's really hard to do.
25:23That was one of the courage, the most hardest things that I actually did it this year, early this year.
25:32It was the hardest, but it really changed my mind.
25:36And if let's say that you are the one who are overreacting,
25:41then maybe reflect on yourself and then ask yourself how I can be better tomorrow.
25:47So, willingness, self-awareness, always check in with yourself on how you are feeling,
25:53jot down your emotions on a paper or on an app,
25:57and then you can actually go back and kind of like reflect on that.
26:02And I feel that it's really healthy.
26:04And you can actually do this with your partner as well, your mom as well.
26:09I know it's really hard to do with your family members because they are not willing to do that sometimes.
26:16But if you're unlucky and your mom and dad or your sister or your brother, your siblings, your good friend,
26:22your best friend are willing to do this and create a safe space for you to just reflect on things,
26:28on your friendship, on your relationship, it can be really healthy.
26:33Well said. Thank you so much for having us.
26:37Thank you so much.
26:38And thank you for being on this episode.
26:40It was so lovely chatting with you and having some insight on how you cope with things
26:44and what you do in your daily life and your routines.
26:47I think for people who are viewing, maybe they would learn a thing or two from you
26:52and just some of your lifestyle things that you do, like breathing, journaling.
26:56I have to go on social media now because I'm on social media detox a little bit.
27:00Oh, that's also good.
27:01But if you are on social media, where can everybody find you on social?
27:05Oh, gosh. Okay, I have multiple accounts.
27:09So wellness and fitness, that should be revamped anytime soon now.
27:14I'm just taking some time off from there just to, you know, make sure what I want to go forward in months to come.
27:21So that one you can find me on Instagram or on TikTok.
27:25Nana Muhammad, N-A-N-A-M-O-H-D, I changed my name last year.
27:30And I recently got into beauty as well.
27:33So that one you can find me on TikTok, Beauty Nana.
27:37And if you want to find me and my husband being silly, then you can find us.
27:42You can find us at Nick and Nana on TikTok.
27:45Thank you so much, Nana. It was so fun talking to you.
27:48Thank you so much for having me.
27:50And with that, guys, that is it for us for Episode 2.
27:55I hope you enjoyed and learned a thing or two about self-care and mental health.
27:59Till then, I'll see you guys in the next episode.
28:02Bye.
28:07Transcribed by https://otter.ai