Join our host Amanda Imani as she sits down with the inspiring Sophia Khan, beauty influencer and founder of Ulu Soleil, to discuss Redefining Self-Image After Motherhood.
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00:00Nobody talks about like, you know, like how traumatic
00:04Like our birth. Yeah childbirth is like I had no idea what to expect and I fractured my tailbone
00:13Hi everyone, welcome back to season 4 art of beauty and this is episode 10
00:19I can't believe it's episode 10, but I have a very very special guest today. We have the beautiful Sofia with me
00:26Hi
00:28How are you doing? You look wonderful, by the way. Oh, thank you. So do you? I'm good. Very good excited to be here
00:33Yeah, I'm excited to have you here. So today's topic is all about
00:37motherhood and redefining self-image
00:40So like you mentioned earlier, we've been like kind of Facebook friends for a while
00:44But I know actually the first time we're meeting each other
00:46Yeah, I can't be easy taken so long for us to actually sit down and have a chat, right?
00:50Yeah
00:50And I remember like way back when like when we were a lot younger like, you know
00:55I would see you so many of your cool pictures, but now you are a mom
00:59Yeah, a lot of change a lot of change. You also have your own brand. Yes, so you're juggling so many different things
01:05Maybe you could tell us a little bit about yourself and a little bit of like what you do
01:09It's a lot of juggling. I think so. It's kind of a balancing act
01:12Like I think for the most part like I'm a mom first. Yeah, so I have two kids
01:16I have a 10 month old and a four-year-old so
01:21Day to day is kind of just like I I try to balance like maybe I get two hours of work in per day
01:26Depending on the day, you know, some days are more demanding than other days, right in terms of my kids
01:31But yeah, it's a juggling act for sure. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's what it is like being a mom, right?
01:36But you did mention you also work from home
01:38So, how did how is that working like I'm sure it's difficult already having kids
01:43But then having to work from home and having your kids kind of around it's really I mean, it's tough
01:48Like I love it. Like I would not change it. Yeah, I certainly wouldn't want to go into an office every day
01:54I mean like it's for some people but it's not for me. It is really hard, but
01:58It's super rewarding, right? Yeah, and like like I keep going back to like the juggling aspect of it
02:04It's really hard to like find that balance. Sometimes I feel like that balance doesn't even really exist
02:08You know, it's like some days you give like a hundred percent to like your work and you know
02:12Maybe like you sacrifice a little bit on the parenting aspect of things
02:16But I still wouldn't change it for the world because I get to be around my kids and I get to see them and it's hard
02:22Like it's definitely hard, but it's amazing
02:25Yeah
02:25But I mean I feel like ever since I saw your pictures when I before I met you
02:30Yeah, kind of look the same honestly, really really that is such a compliment
02:35You look you know, like how I remember you look like years ago and
02:43Yeah, yeah, but like what did you have like a like a self-image like change like pre mom post mom
02:51Did you ever see yourself differently after you had kids? Yes
02:54I think motherhood like absolutely like tears you apart breaks you down and like in in many ways like rebuilds you
03:02I think I actually
03:04Begun to understood myself a lot better after I had my first kid. Hmm. Yeah, it was that like more of like, you know your
03:13Your life choices your lifestyle or just like, you know your outlook in life in general
03:18Both. Yeah, my lifestyle 100% change. I think that's inevitable like it happens when you become a mom like your priorities change. Yeah
03:26You develop a lot more clarity
03:28I think my goals are also like more defined because I feel or I felt like when I had my first son like my first
03:34child, yeah
03:35Okay. I love this kid more than anything and I want to I want to make this world like a great place for him
03:41I don't want his life to be hard
03:43So, you know, it's just like a it's it's a natural thing that happens like you want to give them the best
03:47So therefore like your goals start to become more defined for the sake of your child and your family and yeah
03:52Yeah, yeah, did you always you know plan to have kids like early on in your life or I always wanted kids
03:59I think I I always knew I wanted kids. We certainly didn't plan for it to happen as early as it did
04:05I
04:06got married at
04:0828 or 27 God, I can't remember. Okay. Um, yeah, we got married and a few months later. We were pregnant
04:14Yeah, but it was a good time right to kind of actually it was kind of crazy how it happened because it was COVID
04:21So like Dan my husband we planned like a whole honeymoon thing obviously everyone wants to do like the honeymoon, you know
04:26It's fun. And of course we wanted to enjoy like time just us as a married couple
04:31But as it turns out like COVID hit. Yeah, so we wouldn't have like been able to go on that honeymoon anyway
04:37So I literally got pregnant and then COVID happened and then I gave birth during COVID. So yeah, yeah
04:43It kind of worked out. Yeah, definitely. Look at you now and how was that for you?
04:48what was like you're you know, I have a few friends that are now also moms and I'm always so interested to see like their
04:54whole like
04:55Pregnancy journey and their their motherhood process because it's different for everyone. It is like for you
05:01Okay, I found pregnancy like super difficult. I'll be completely honest like pregnancy was really hard for me
05:06Although with that being said like my two pregnancies like my first and my second were extremely different. I hear them
05:13Yeah, so I don't know what dictates that but with Cameron my firstborn
05:18I had HG which was like a it's basically morning sickness, but like around the clock so you can't keep food down
05:24I'm really gross
05:25But it's also really really like you could I couldn't even have like water and keep it down
05:29So it was so bad that I had to be hospitalized and get like on a drip and stuff because I was like severely
05:34Dehydrated so I was like losing weight into my second trimester when you're actually supposed to be gaining weight
05:39and it was all down to like this condition called HG, but
05:43That subsided
05:45Towards the end of my second trimester. So it got better, but it was still really hard and then nobody talks about like, you know
05:51like how traumatic
05:54Like Albert. Yeah childbirth is like I had no idea what to expect and I fractured my tailbone. Oh my god
06:01I know I didn't even know that was a thing. Oh, yeah, so never heard of that. I know is that is that quite common?
06:06I don't think it's necessarily like common. It can happen according to my doctor
06:11It can happen but it's not common and but it's an extremely painful injury and there's nothing you can do really for recovery aside from
06:18Breast which is an impossibility when you've just had a baby. I'm like you're breastfeeding right? So my doctor's advice is like
06:23Don't walk up any stairs. Don't walk. Don't run sleep on your back
06:27Like basically basically his advice is all the things you kind of couldn't do if you're planning to be like a really hands-on
06:33Right mom and like carry your kid. And yeah, so it was tough. My first pregnancy and delivery was tough second pregnancy was easier
06:41Yeah, I'm still hot
06:43I know they can't someone love it. Like I have some friends who are like, oh, you know being pregnant is amazing
06:48I wish I could just you know, keep having babies and be pregnant
06:50I'm like, oh my god, I want to be you. I wish I could say that for myself. I guess like you said, yeah
06:55Everybody's different. I know I've also had some friends really
06:58Yeah, it was a breeze like, you know walk in the park and I was like, oh my god
07:00I'm like, you know pregnant slap pregnancy glow, right?
07:03I didn't really did not have that like I got acne like I was yeah, my hormones were clearly haywire
07:08So I got like breakouts and like, you know, I was uncomfortable all the time and in pain and yeah pregnancy was not fun
07:14Yeah, yeah
07:16But during that time were there any like beauty practices you did or any sort of like, you know
07:21Mantras that you told yourself to kind of get yourself through that
07:25Beauty practices. I mean like I would call it like a self-care practice
07:28I feel like when you're pregnant you absolutely need to do like self-care for yourself because especially for your first pregnancy because your body changes
07:36So rapidly and no one kind of warns you for it like you you don't really know what's coming until it happens, right?
07:43This is my experience like I need to clarify. That's my experience
07:46but like, you know, like and for me like everything changes, it's like your skin changes like your
07:52Chest like your boobs. Yeah breast change like everything changes. Yeah, so, um, I
07:57Found like when I was pregnant like my belly was massive like it grew pretty big pretty quickly
08:02And so you get itchy cuz like your skin is stretching. Yeah, and it gets drier
08:06So I tried all sorts of products like, you know
08:08They're the usual stuff like what they recommend for like pregnancy. So like the bio oils, right the world
08:13Um, I tried loads of things and nothing really like eased it for me
08:17Until like one of my friends actually gifted me like like just pure share
08:20But I'm like African Jim, but I like I can't even remember the brand but I tried it and I was like, oh my god
08:25It's actually working. Mm-hmm
08:27So I just started doing that kind of religiously and that's actually kind of how loose or they came about it was like I fell
08:33In love with the magic of shea butter. Yeah, and yeah, that's how our body bombs came about. Okay. Wow. Yeah
08:38Yeah, so just a little off topic. Let's talk a bit about your brand
08:43So you mentioned that that was one of the things that inspired you to start? Oh, yeah. So I
08:48Recently met Sophia at a Harvest Bazaar
08:51Beauty Awards and that product won an award
08:54So I'm so excited to try it
08:56But can you tell us a little bit more about like how you started it how it came about why you started it and you?
09:03Know what the products are really?
09:04Yeah, sure
09:05So you've kind of gotten the gist of it in a sense that like I started it when I was pregnant and shea butter was
09:10What worked for me like pure shea butter by the way
09:12So it can't be like so loads of products on the market have shea butter in them
09:16But they're just like tiny amounts like trace amounts of shea butter
09:19So the key for me like what actually really worked for me during pregnancy was the fact that it was pure
09:25So the body bombs that we made are infused to it. We have two body bombs the one that you're talking about that one
09:31The best body bomb category at Harvest Bazaar, that's our retinol body bomb
09:34So that's basically like over 90% shea butter and it's infused with retinol
09:38But obviously retinol is not recommended for pregnancy
09:41So if you're like breastfeeding or I'm pregnant like you shouldn't use it or you're advised not to basically
09:47So we have like another version called the shea butter and hyaluronic plus vitamin E version
09:53Which is fantastic for pregnancy fantastic for breastfeeding completely safe and it like really works
09:58So we've kind of revolutionized the application of shea butter in that it's instead of like putting it in a jar
10:04We're like cuz that was one thing that really bothered me when I was pregnant like, okay
10:07Shea butter is so great. Like my skin feels so good. But oh my god, it's messy
10:12Like it's really it can be greasy and messy and it kind of gets on everything
10:15So I was like, why can't we like put it in a tube and then just like, you know, like yeah like a deodorant
10:20Yeah
10:21And then um, you know
10:22Like we did a lot of research and a lot of the people like the R&D people we spoke to were like no can't be
10:27Eventually like we cracked it and we found a formulation that worked and like the we managed to get the shirt
10:32Shea butter solidified with the active ingredients and yeah, we arrived at the body bums
10:37In this little cardboard tubes like okay
10:40So let's just talk about like some of the I guess like, you know motherhood stuff
10:44Yeah, like a lot of moms always talk about like stretch marks. Oh, yeah, I skin all that
10:48Yeah, have you did you go through that? Do you because you know what guys come on?
10:52She doesn't look like she came birth 10 months ago. Honestly, that's crazy to me. That's no
10:59Like, okay. So this is the thing like first pregnancy versus second pregnancy
11:02I think my mindset was very different of course because like I said, um, nobody warns you for what's about to happen to your body
11:08So I feel like if there's more awareness more understanding more
11:11Appreciation moms wouldn't have such a hard time like dealing with like their body changes during the first pregnancy
11:17But I feel like it's not normalized enough. Mm-hmm. So during my first pregnancy
11:20I think like full disclosure. I definitely like dealt with some like body issues. I'm like, oh my god, what's happening to my body?
11:26Like, oh my god, my stomach. Oh my god, my thighs my hips, you know, but like in my second pregnancy
11:31I'm like, oh, yeah, you know like bring it like I'm excited. Yeah, you know, like I'm gonna embrace
11:36Yeah, I'm gonna embrace this and also like I mean, it's pretty powerful like what your body is doing
11:40Like you're not just creating life
11:42but you're carrying it and you're nurturing it and like your body your body's going through so much and
11:47Like it's also gonna it's also gonna go back, you know, maybe not to like the state that it was like pre baby
11:53But like that's okay. Yeah. Yeah, so like my my I suppose like my relationship with like stretch marks and all those things
12:01During my first pregnancy wasn't so positive. It wasn't healthy. I would say
12:06so it took time like it took time for me like for me to understand and kind of like
12:10Do work on myself and accept accept these things accept them as like, you know
12:15Things are actually pretty empowering. Like I'm pretty lucky to be able to experience all this
12:19Yeah, you know and be healthy whilst doing it. Mm-hmm. So during the second pregnancy, I think I breezed through it a little bit more
12:25like breezed
12:30Relatively speaking like comparative. Yeah. Yeah
12:33Yeah, so like my stance towards stretch marks and you know, even like me freckles, you know
12:38I've got freckles and that took me time to accept but now like I love them like I love I do have stretch marks
12:44But not on my belly. So I had stretch marks like pre-pregnancy. Okay. Yes
12:48I did use like, um share butter on my belly whilst I was pregnant. So you're so lucky to not have stretch marks
12:54Like yeah, but I have stretch marks like in other places, you know, like you stretch, you know, like you grow
12:59Yeah, any rapid and like, you know weight loss like any sort of exactly and I think a lot of people also don't like
13:06Normalize that people always assume that you only get stretch marks or you know, like all these are so normal
13:11Yeah, it's so normal. You don't have to even you know be going through pregnancy to get absolutely not
13:16You can make guys have stretch marks like it's it's normal like yeah
13:20Yeah, yeah set things like cellulite all those kind of things like people like make a big deal out of it when it's really just you
13:25Know very just skin. It's just it's not like um, yeah, it's not like an evil medical condition. I think that's bad for you
13:32It's just skin. Yeah, yeah, really and you know, you did mention to me also like you were not so huge on like the whole like
13:40Confinement aspect of yeah. Yeah. Okay. So to clarify during my first pregnancy. It was COVID
13:47So I think I was a little bit like I think most people during COVID, you know
13:52There was a massive anxiety surrounding like illness and I'm like, oh my god
13:55I can't let like a random person into my home. It's my I was very protective of my baby
14:00I think we're just normal and you know
14:02we first give birth because it's all just like such a new thing and all these emotions and hormones like
14:06Kind of just hits you out of nowhere and so that was kind of why I think with my first pregnancy
14:11I didn't do the whole confinement thing. Yeah
14:15So with my second pregnancy, I did try
14:17It didn't work out
14:20Like it just it wasn't for me like I think too many rules. I like my independence
14:27Like I have a lot of friends who swear by it and you know like to each their own like I'm sure it's great for
14:32Some moms and like they love it. I will say like the massage aspect of confinement is fantastic though
14:38Like I love I loved getting massages, but you know, it's like come back on this really, you know, I'm just like well, okay
14:44Yeah, I really need this
14:46Right now. I'm hungry
14:48things like that and then also like
14:50It was I just found it very restrictive. It depends on the type of person you are
14:54Yeah, and I also like I couldn't stay at home
14:56like I wanted to go out for walks and right like I also had like a
15:00Three-year-old at the time who I've got like a routine with so I didn't feel like just because I'm you know
15:05I've just because I've given birth. I need to I couldn't neglect him. I felt bad. Yeah. Yeah, I understand that
15:10I'm going out and getting fresh air
15:14Definitely, yeah, but let you know like throughout your pregnancy like were you a very like cautious
15:20Either or like were the things that you were very strict about first pregnancy. Yes. Yeah second pregnancy
15:29I mean like the things obviously like raw meat. I don't have raw meat. I think in my second pregnancy
15:35I did have sashimi, but I think they're like, I think it's actually like, okay. I'm not sure don't write me
15:40I'm not like a medical professional, but I was definitely more lax in my second pregnancy
15:46Yeah, I mean, I generally try to like maintain like an overall healthy diet. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Have you always been like a healthy?
15:53person
15:55No, definitely not no, no
16:01No, I mean like I used to love junk food like it's so bad, but I did I mean it's so bad, but so good
16:07Yeah
16:08But now I'm like more conscious of that stuff. I feel like the more like
16:13Research I suppose you do as you get older the more you understand like, okay, this stuff is so yummy
16:17but it's not detrimental to my health and also like my partner has played like a massive role in kind of
16:24Rewiring me and my relationship towards food. So he's really like, um, he's very disciplined like to him
16:30It just comes naturally like it's really easy. So he's sugar-free completely like alcohol-free completely. He's very disciplined, you know
16:36So sugar-free is difficult
16:39Okay, like so that's what I would say as well
16:41but like if you speak to him like it's actually so frustrating sometimes because he's like no it's not it's easy and I'm like
16:46In Malaysia, I feel like it's a bit of a challenge
16:48so we cook a lot like we we cook at home a lot, but
16:52Even when we don't like if we were to go out and stuff
16:54We just kind of like he tends to order like whole foods
16:56So for example, like if I were to go out to like, I don't know yellow like a brunch plate place
17:01For example, I order like scrambled eggs avocado like toast
17:04But whole foods generally obviously have less processed sugar or like no process. Yeah, so he will eat fruit sometimes
17:12so I'll have like
17:13Natural sugars like, you know from dance or whatever, but not we're not like, yeah, exactly
17:17So you would never have a slice of cake or chocolate? Oh my god. I know
17:22It's amazing like I aspire to be that way, but I'm not but he doesn't have like those like, you know
17:27Craving no, so he according to him like it
17:30They're really easy to kick like when you hit the two-week period you kind of just don't crave sugar anymore
17:34Your body just doesn't like want it. I guess according to him. Yeah
17:40Like it's yeah, maybe it's an individual thing
17:42I haven't gotten to that level like also his personality and mine are very different like he's got a very like extreme personality
17:48He's like a hundred or nothing
17:49Like if we have a bar of chocolate at home, like he will smash that entire chocolate bar
17:53Whereas I can have like a square and I'm good. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, does that make sense?
17:56Yeah, but that's so interesting like how you guys are so different but at the same time like, you know
18:01You mentioned also your parenting styles are different. Yeah, we did. So that's the thing. It's like interesting
18:05I feel like I'm very like similar core values, but very different upbringings. Like, you know, he was brought up in
18:11The UK I'm I was brought up in Malaysia and like my mom's like I'm from a mixed family
18:15But still like, you know, we have I have a lot of like I suppose like Asian Valley values. Yeah, so it's definitely been
18:23We've worked to kind of come to where we are now. Mm-hmm
18:26Yeah, so it's a lot of compromise a lot of understanding a lot of work a lot of healing even yeah
18:31But like nowadays now that you have two kids
18:35How do you prioritize your self-care like having you know, juggling two kids and a beauty brand?
18:42so self-care
18:44To me like that's actually quite simple. So I am one of those people like I do need my down time
18:49Yeah, so I spent all day with my kids also working
18:52So like again juggling act but at seven o'clock the babies are asleep
18:56So we have like seven o'clock night like seven o'clock the next day to kind of just like have dinner together
19:01You know like just you know connect
19:03Also do a little bit of work at night even but also just to if I want to do self-care
19:07Okay, this evening. I'm gonna I'm gonna do my own thing. Do your own thing? Yeah, and yeah
19:11I mean, I guess that's like a healthy balance as well
19:14you know for yourself to also just kind of I guess unwind and and
19:19Just kind of kick back and do something for yourself because I yeah, you're always doing things for your kids
19:24Yeah, what's like, you know some of the things you do for yourself. Is it like maybe like you do?
19:28I don't know. Do you mask at home or do you enjoy your cooking for yourself?
19:33Or I I cook like two times a day at least. I definitely
19:38I
19:41Mean like, okay, maybe once in a while like if actually Dan cooks for me my husband and he's a fantastic cook
19:47So that like to me, I mean, can you call that self-care? I think yeah, like if my husband cook right dinner
19:51That's pretty nice. And he does it quite often. Okay, but my idea of like self-care is probably like time alone
19:57Mm-hmm. Yeah where it's like, you know, I'll run a bath like a really really hot bath
20:01yeah, and you know put a mask on you know have a scrub and light a candle and just kind of read a book and
20:06Yeah, yeah escape like you don't need to be out doing it like for me like a hot bath is it's great
20:12Yeah, yeah
20:13I mean do you have any tips for maybe like moms or moms to be like watching this, you know kind of
20:20Then how do you balance it? Like you said like it's quite difficult. I mean every day is kind of different, you know
20:26I do find that balance. Yeah, so like my advice to like new moms. I can only speak on my experience
20:31So like I'm probably projecting like my experience here
20:33But I feel like I wasn't prepared enough for motherhood
20:36So I didn't understand like, you know people they post perfect pictures on social media looking like, you know
20:42Like your hair is done your makeups done like your body's perfect like, you know, and like, you know, everything looks picture-perfect
20:47So that was like what my expectation of motherhood was gonna be like so it literally hit me like like, you know
20:52Like a bus like when it happened for real cuz I'm like, whoa like sleep-deprived
20:57No one tells you like so I decided to like again fully your choice
21:00But like I decided to fully breastfeed. Mm-hmm. And let me tell you like breastfeeding is hard work. I'm still breastfeeding
21:06So I'm like going on four years. No, I'm I've surpassed four years of breastfeeding, but it's hard work
21:11Like, you know a baby's tummy is like tiny so, you know, you don't feed them every like four or five hours
21:16You feed your baby every two hours
21:18so that means like
21:19You know on average like in a 24-hour period like you are waking up every two hours to feed your baby
21:26And no one can really help you with that right if you're fully breastfeeding
21:29It's different if like you're expressing which is also heartbreaking itself
21:32Like, you know mothers who choose to pump but I think my advice would be like do your research really figure
21:39Figure out like what you want like have a plan
21:42Talk to your partner about the understanding and the arrangement like, you know, this is gonna be your role
21:47This will be my role because I think teamwork like really does make the dream work. Like motherhood is such a
21:53beautiful experience
21:54But it's really important to have support like whatever your support is
21:57Like just you got to make it work and you got to communicate that to your partner if it's your mom helping just whoever it
22:02Is yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so do your research and like plan. Yeah and see like what works for you, I guess exactly
22:08Yeah, for sure
22:09But like for you was there ever a moment where you felt like you need to like reinvent or rediscover yourself
22:18after you've had children, um
22:20kind of like finding yourself or oh
22:23That's a tough one, okay
22:24Um, I feel like I definitely lost my identity a little bit in motherhood
22:28I think that might be a fairly normal thing because I've discussed this with some friends and I think it takes time like for me
22:33It took a really long time because I was like I was really in the throes of motherhood like it kind of became my whole
22:39Personality. I kind of still feel like it is like
22:42Me, you know, like I love it
22:46But in yes, so I suppose yes, like I definitely felt like I had an identity crisis like oh my god
22:52like who am I like, am I still that person but you know, like it changes like you kind of
22:57Rediscover yourself or or you find out like what your true calling really is for me. Anyway, mm-hmm
23:01Yeah, that is pretty interesting because I like I said
23:05I also have some friends and now that I meet them there, you know
23:08Their whole life is literally their kids and I can totally understand that but when I see them now versus like how I met them before
23:14They had children. They're like two separate different people, which I think I mean, that's the whole like progression
23:19I wouldn't call it like necessarily like an identity change or crisis. It's not
23:24yeah, so like I when I say like I feel like I lost my identity what I mean by that is more like in
23:29Becoming a mother. I think when you're parenting someone else like that brings up like a lot of feelings
23:34I think or like memories or experiences from when you were little and I I think you've kind of got to start
23:39Reparenting yourself like it's almost like I got to know myself a lot better after having kids
23:44Like I understood myself a lot more like I learned to say no to people, you know
23:49Which is something I kind of think in the past. I've may have struggled with you know, I'd be like, yeah, sure
23:53Okay, let's do this. Let's do that
23:54Whereas now I'm like, no I value my time like I'm not gonna go out and do this like it's not personal
24:00I just need I need to be at home right now for myself setting boundaries
24:04You're exactly boundary setting just but like all sorts of things. So I feel like motherhood for me was very very healing
24:09I didn't realize I had so much healing to do but I did. Yeah, you know and I'm like, okay Wow
24:14I think also that one of the beautiful things about you know, becoming a mom
24:18Yeah, I learned so much just from that like I've been very lucky though, because of course, you know, it can go both ways
24:24So to be conscious of that, you know and be gentle and patient with yourself is really important. Yeah. Yeah
24:30So like what would you say to moms who are maybe struggling with like, you know
24:35their self-image like how they look how they feel and
24:38You mentioned you also were a little kind of like not wanting to go out
24:42Point where you just know like
24:44Like I think if I could speak to myself like four years ago
24:48I would like I would probably tell myself like give yourself grace like, you know
24:52Acknowledge what your body is doing like be patient and be kind like this is gonna sound so hippie
24:57but like your body hears you you know, like all the thoughts that you're having like, you know
25:01Make your make your mind like a pretty place like a beautiful place to be so, you know
25:05Be kind have kind thoughts like especially about yourself. Yeah and understand that it's a process
25:10Yeah, and also I think you know
25:12A lot of people don't realize like, you know, bringing up kids and having a kid even like your support system, right?
25:18Yeah, your community around you your friends and family play a huge role. How is that like for you?
25:24I mean you mentioned that you know, your your husband is really hands-on with yeah
25:28I'm like very very lucky
25:30I am grateful like every day for the husband that I have because he's he's such a great dad
25:34Yeah, like he's so good to our kids like he's super hands-on. Mm-hmm
25:39Which is invaluable, yeah. Yeah, but in terms of like a village I
25:44Feel like it's controversial
25:46But like I don't think I had like that village that I dreamed of that that
25:51You know, I see a lot of people around me who are like, you know
25:54Like they got their parents around and they got like loads of siblings helping out and stuff and like I fully get it
26:00It's not like it's not my mom's responsibility. It's not my my sister's like they're so good with my kids
26:05Like they love them to death, but you know
26:07Everyone's got their own life and I think that's just the nature of society in this day and age
26:10Like everyone works. Everyone's got a social life. Everyone's got their own goals
26:14So you can't really expect to have that village anymore, but you do need to like figure a plan out
26:21like because
26:22You kind of have you've got to have help like whether it comes from like, you know
26:27Literally like paid help or like your husband or like, you know, whatever it is
26:30Like you do need like a village of support. So I think personally I I struggled with
26:36And my expectation not meeting reality which made it much harder for me
26:41I'm glad it yeah, because I think we sometimes like we think we assume like yeah, I was gonna play
26:46Oh, wait, so it's the assumption and I think it's like, oh, no
26:52So, right, right
26:53Yeah
26:53I think it's also the same thing like you mentioned with pregnancy itself like a lot
26:57Oh, yeah, because you never really know until you're actually going through it, right?
27:00Absolutely, like you don't expect like you read things on like articles, but that's the thing
27:05I don't think I even read enough. Oh, yeah
27:06I feel like I just like walked into it kind of blind
27:09It was that like the goal like you just was like you were like, you know what? I'm just gonna do this
27:13No, it wasn't planned. So like we got married
27:15We'd you know, like I said, we plan to go on a honeymoon and take our time with that and a few years
27:20Please but yeah, so basically I was on I'm birth control
27:23Yeah
27:23So I went to the doctors a guy knee actually and he he said to me like oh
27:28You need to get off birth control because you have PCOS blah blah blah and I'm like, oh, okay
27:33Really? And then he's like, yeah, you're really gonna struggle to get pregnant and I'm like, right
27:37Okay, so I in hindsight really should have gotten a second opinion because he was totally wrong. Oh, he's like number one
27:43I did not have PCOS. I don't know how he like managed to I don't know that. Yes, exactly and I got
27:50Pregnant like within a month of going off right? Yeah, so
27:54Yeah, get always get a second opinion. Exactly. Yeah
27:57I
27:59Like just and plan if you can it's important to understand like a financial like situation
28:04Oh, yeah, like the assumed roles for both parents like your support your village. Yeah
28:09Before we end what are you know?
28:12Some of the other tips you would give moms that are you know, maybe struggling like, you know
28:18Sometimes not everyone is as blessed to have you know, a caring husband or supportive husband
28:23Sometimes there are moms who are single moms who are bringing kids up alone
28:27Yeah, I mean, I guess if you could give them some words of affirmation
28:33Just yeah, you know some words of support like how what would you tell them like to prioritize during their pregnancy and you know
28:41After giving birth, okay
28:43Like I couldn't again only speak on my experience that it is for me like the hardest work
28:48I've ever done like literally the hardest but it is absolutely like hands-down the most
28:53Rewarding work I have ever done like nothing
28:57For me nothing rewards me like oh my god
28:59I get emotional I think about it, but like nothing is as rewarding as being a mom for me
29:04Yeah, so even if you are going through a hard time
29:06I think you've you've really got to have faith like a mother's love for their child. I feel is
29:12You know, it's it's indescribable reading like the bond that you have with your child like, you know, it will get you through
29:18Yeah, so yeah, just keep going just keep going
29:20Hey strong
29:20but if you also like it's important to say though like if you do have somebody you can talk to always talk to someone like
29:26Even if they can't physically do something for you
29:28Like it always helps to like alleviate that burden, you know
29:30Like when you talk to someone you get a perspective and you just you know, a burden is lifted, right?
29:35Yeah, so talk to people, you know, just reach out and yeah, keep going cool. Yeah
29:42So, um, I guess before we end what can we expect to see from you in the next, you know a few years like
29:49Your brand and maybe also yeah, you know, I'm actually we've got a lot in the pipeline. Yeah
29:54So yeah, we are really excited about it and we are dropping new products
29:57Finally after like two and a half years on the market. We've only we've got like a small product range
30:02So only five products, but um, we've done research and it's taken a while
30:06but we're ready really excited to drop new products at the end of the year this year and
30:10Early next year like fingers crossed. We've actually got exciting news
30:13I'm not supposed to say like what exactly is happening
30:15but I can tell you that we will be launching in stores with like one of like
30:22Beauty's biggest retailers
30:26Okay, that's really exciting that must be really cool and I mean it's a lot like, you know
30:31It's kind of the it's always been the end goal for us. So so we'll say that
30:34I'm so excited
30:36Fingers crossed that it happens. Okay, I'm sure we will. Oh, we're here to support you. I'm sure whoever's watching you're like, yeah, okay, so
30:44But yeah before I let you go
30:45Where can we find you on social media like if you want to keep up with you and your life my Instagram?
30:51I'm an Instagram. Yeah, literally just Instagram so you don't have to talk. I know I really need to get on tick-tock
30:55But oh my god, I'm like tick-tock illiterate. It's very overwhelming. Yeah
31:00And I also not relatable
31:02So we can find Sophia
31:05Got it. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you again so much for coming on to this episode so much fun
31:10Yeah, it was so much fun for me. I actually feel like yeah, I've had girl time. I loved it
31:14I loved it cuz I feel like I can learn so much from because I I mean obviously I'm not a mom
31:18But I feel like you know, just hearing like what you have to say
31:21It's different for everyone. So I think whoever's watching as well who's maybe, you know expecting or you know
31:28I need to have a kid like, you know, just know that you're not alone
31:31Everybody's absolutely. Yeah, I'm just taking it's your own journey. It's your own journey. Yeah, so once again, thank you so much Sophia
31:38It was a pleasure having you on this episode and with that
31:43I'm gonna say bye everybody
31:47Thank you next season hey fingers crossed thank you for watching and I'll see you guys hopefully soon
32:01You