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Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00My Outro For My 20th Birthday
00:30Mum, can my friend stay over? He's going to the party tomorrow.
00:35What party?
00:36Oh, Louis's been invited to a really posh party at Margaret Ferguson's house. You know, the MP.
00:41But he's eight.
00:43It's not the MP's party, is it? It's the MP's daughter Jane's birthday.
00:47Oh, is somebody jealous?
00:49Of course your friend can stay over, as long as his mum says it's alright.
00:52Great! I'll go and tell Connor.
00:57What?
00:59Connor, that's what.
01:01Connor as in Louis's imaginary friend who I thought we'd left behind in London.
01:05Oh, we did. But he must have got the imaginary bus up the imaginary motorway.
01:10Just ignore it and don't encourage him.
01:12Me encourage him? You're the one who took us all to Scotland that time for Connor's birthday.
01:16Oh, yeah. Yeah, maybe we should go there again this year.
01:19OK, OK, point taken. I will deal with it.
01:23Morning, everybody!
01:25Erm, I'm going to go. You're so dead.
01:30Hello, Mum. Hello, Dad.
01:32Don't hi mum me. Coming in at all hours. And I bet Mabel was to blame again.
01:37You said you didn't want to talk about it.
01:39I said it was too late to talk about it last night. Now I want to talk about it.
01:43Well, make your mind up.
01:44I have. You're grounded.
01:46What? For a whole day?
01:47Nice try. A whole week.
01:49But it's record store day tomorrow and I promised Mabel I'd go.
01:53Oh, Mabel. Thought so.
01:55You don't even know her. And Mabel's not bad. She's fun.
01:58Not that you've ever had an atom of fun in your entire life.
02:05Am I really that boring?
02:08Oh, no, no, no. It's parenting, isn't it?
02:11Every kid needs a fun parent and a...
02:14And a not fun parent.
02:17Oh, that's so unfair. How dare she say that about you?
02:20That's outrageous.
02:24Is that it? We can't get an ice cream with 17 pence.
02:27That's right. Moving on.
02:30That's the way to do it. That's the way to do it.
02:35Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye.
02:41Genius.
02:42What's genius about a pair of socks beating each other up?
02:45A pair of socks.
02:47Punch and Judy is a highly skilled art form.
02:50It's totally unrealistic.
02:52Since when could a crocodile be overpowered by a wooden spoon?
02:56You'd need an M60.
02:58Exactly. It's rubbish.
03:01Ah. Hello, guys.
03:03Good to see some older faces in the crowd.
03:05Yeah, we were just saying the show was...
03:07Fantastic.
03:09He really loved it.
03:11Compliments don't pay the bills.
03:13Oh, Mr Punch.
03:15Where are your manners?
03:17Brilliant. That's all we've got.
03:20I really appreciate it.
03:22Do you think you could keep an eye on my booth for a few moments?
03:26I need a bathroom break.
03:28Yeah, sure.
03:30Thanks, guys.
03:34Right, let's make our money back and give these kids a proper show.
03:46Louis, I thought we might have a little chat.
03:49I wonder what's keeping Connor.
03:52You see, when a little boy's got a big imagination,
03:55he can sometimes think things are real when they're not.
03:58Like what?
04:00Well, like...
04:02Connor!
04:03Yeah, like Connor.
04:04He's here!
04:06Go on.
04:10Hi, Connor.
04:16Hand coins only.
04:18If anyone puts a button in the cup,
04:20I will find you and I will hurt you.
04:24Relax, Ben. I mean, just think of all the money, the ice cream.
04:28You don't know the first thing about Punch and Judy.
04:31No.
04:33But you do.
04:36You want me to operate Mr Punch?
04:39I won't let you down, Charlie.
04:42I borrowed this from the ice cream lady for the fight scenes.
04:46Raspberry syrup.
04:49Here we go.
04:51Nice hot chocolate.
04:56Aw.
04:57See you.
04:58Sophie Conroy.
05:00The nicest girl you will ever meet.
05:02Well, she was.
05:04Until she met bad Becky Brown.
05:06Bad Becky Brown?
05:08Mm.
05:11Straight-A student she was until she fell in with Becky Brown.
05:14Do you know where she is now?
05:15Busking on the London Underground.
05:17Oh, cool.
05:18Did she write her own material?
05:20No. What?
05:21No, no, no, no.
05:22My point is...
05:23My point is, I was young once.
05:26And I know what it's like to be led astray.
05:29Why are you on your own in all these photos?
05:32Am I? I hadn't noticed.
05:34President of the Solitaire Club.
05:37Wow, did you not have any friends?
05:39What?
05:40Life's not a popularity contest, you know.
05:43I get what this is about.
05:44You're jealous that I get to hang around with a cool girl
05:47and you never could.
05:48There was nothing cool about Becky Brown, let me tell you.
05:51And where's she now, eh?
05:53Prison.
05:54Probably.
05:55And where am I?
05:56Surrounded by my loving family.
05:59Got any toast?
06:01Yeah.
06:04Good chap.
06:17Hello, Mr Punch.
06:18Hello, everybody.
06:20CHEERING
06:22Now, has anybody seen our baby?
06:28What are you doing? Where's the baby?
06:30He said he wants all the kids to watch.
06:32So I'm going to make things a bit more pretty.
06:35I'm hungry!
06:37I'm afraid there's nothing to eat in here, Mr Crocodile.
06:40That's what you think.
06:42CHEERING
06:44Charlie, stop it!
06:46Charlie!
06:47CHARLIE SCREAMS
06:50Excellent. That's the way to do it.
06:53CHARLIE SCREAMS
06:56Maybe I could be a Punch and Judy man when I leave school.
07:02What have you done to my show?
07:05I can't take all the credit. I mean...
07:08The syrup bit was Alison's idea.
07:10Get out.
07:16What are you doing?
07:18It's terrifying the kids, scaring all my customers away.
07:21Me?
07:22I should report you.
07:24You want more stunt like that,
07:26and I'll see they take your licence away.
07:32Do you think we should take something?
07:34Yeah.
07:353.99s, please.
07:37With extra syrup.
07:44Ah.
07:46There's a woman here who says the best way to deal with imaginary friends
07:49is to give them chores.
07:51Your child will soon tire of covering for an imaginary friend
07:54and give up on them.
07:56Now could be your chance to find out.
07:58Louis, is that you?
08:00I'm going to my room, Mum.
08:02Well, come and have a sandwich first.
08:04Hold on.
08:08There you go.
08:10Thanks, Mum.
08:12Connor likes cheese too.
08:14Well, you know, Louis, if Connor wants to eat cheese,
08:17he's going to have to do his fair share.
08:19Maybe he could start by...
08:21weeding the gardens.
08:24OK.
08:29They give me jobs to do too.
08:31Come on, I'll show you where they keep my tools.
08:44Hey, Helen.
08:46What's up with you?
08:47Sore throat. Won't make it out today.
08:49Hey, are you getting in trouble for being late last night?
08:52As if. Nobody tells me what to do.
08:55Except me. She's grounded.
08:57That's why she's pretending to have a sore throat.
08:59Mum! You're so embarrassing her!
09:02Oh, Mabel, right?
09:04If this is about Hannah coming home late, that was all my fault.
09:07Oh, I don't doubt it.
09:08But please, if you let her go to the record store today,
09:10I swear it won't happen again.
09:12I don't do deals.
09:14Now, this whole cool thing might be fooling Hannah,
09:17but it's going to take more than a wig of bees T-shirt to impress me.
09:20You've heard of wig of bees?
09:22I was going to see a wig of bees before you were born.
09:24You actually saw them? That is so cool!
09:27I'd love to hear about it sometime.
09:29My mum doesn't get it at all. She's no fun.
09:32Oh, I'm sure Hannah would say the same thing about me.
09:35Does she?
09:37Hey, why don't you come to the record store today?
09:39You could turn Hannah into some good tunes.
09:41Yeah. Yeah, she really doesn't get it, does she?
09:44Wait, I miss you too.
09:45Yeah, later, then.
09:47Mabel.
09:49Ah. That's the infamous Mabel, is it?
09:52Yeah. Do you know, I think she's all right.
09:55I think she just needs a good role model.
09:57You know, someone that she respects, but who's also fun.
10:01Well, I'd love to help, but I've got my hands full with Allah, you know.
10:05I don't sing for any lost nest,
10:08so you don't have to worry about that.
10:18Who parks on the beach when you're wide open to an amphibious assault?
10:22Well, maybe he can't afford the car park.
10:24Do you think we should pay the rest of the money?
10:26Yeah, and give him some pointers on why his show's such a flop.
10:29That would really help him.
10:32What do you want?
10:34I was going to give you this.
10:36The cash we earned at the show.
10:38Minus a little ice-cream money.
10:40Well, that's very honest of you.
10:42One thing I appreciate, honestly.
10:44Really? Cos normally when I'm honest, people just get upset.
10:47Not me.
10:49Oh, well, if it's honesty you like, you'll love it.
10:52I don't like it.
10:54I don't like it.
10:56I don't like it.
10:58I don't like it.
11:00If it's honesty you like, you'll love this.
11:02When I first saw your show, I thought, no offence,
11:05those puppets are rubbish.
11:07Then I realised it's not the puppets, it's you.
11:10See, what you need to do is, you just need to work on your comedy a bit.
11:13So why don't you try something a little like this, you know?
11:16Hello, everybody.
11:18Woo!
11:19Woo!
11:23Bit shoddy, isn't it? I mean, I barely touched it.
11:31HONKING
11:32Run!
11:38Out of the way!
11:41Wait till I get my hands on you!
11:45It's not me you should be after, it's those kids!
11:47He's been terrifying kids all day!
11:49You should take his licence!
11:52I feel terrible.
11:56Shouldn't have had that second ice-cream.
12:01Can Connor have some ice-cream too?
12:03Er, no, because he hasn't finished weeding the front garden.
12:07He has? He hasn't even looked.
12:10And has he watered the lawn?
12:12But it's going to be dark soon.
12:14Well, a bit of time to get a move on, aren't you?
12:23Hannah, how would you like it
12:25if I said you can go to your record shop date with Mabel?
12:28Really? Oh, thanks, Mum.
12:30I think it'd be really good for us to hang out together.
12:33Us? You're going too?
12:36This is a nightmare.
12:40Well, that could have gone better.
12:42Well, she's a teenager, isn't she?
12:44Last thing she wants is to be hanging out with her big old dorky mum.
12:47Oh, brain freeze.
12:55I brought you some supplies.
13:19This has gone far enough.
13:21I think you need to have a word with Louis.
13:23I know, I know.
13:29I've finished the garden. Can I have something to eat now?
13:32Sure, just go downstairs and Dad will make you some breakfast.
13:36What if he gives me more work?
13:38Fine, you stay here. I'll go and get it.
13:46Dad, Connor's finished the garden.
13:48Can I have some breakfast now?
13:53Sit down, Louis. I don't need to tell you.
13:56It's about Connor, isn't it?
13:59I'm afraid it is.
14:01You want him to trim the hedge?
14:03Louis, Connor doesn't exist.
14:07What?
14:08See, sometimes when you're little you have imaginary friends
14:12and that's not a bad thing, but there comes a time when you have to let go.
14:17Oh, no. He's not my imaginary friend, Connor.
14:21This is a different Connor. A real Connor.
14:24I know it's hard to believe.
14:26He may seem as real as you or I, but he's not.
14:31But I can see him.
14:33No, Louis, you think you can see him, but he's not really there.
14:42I didn't sleep at all last night. Don't you feel bad?
14:45Why should I? I tried to say sorry and the guy went crazy.
14:49Uh-oh, the time has to come in when he was at the police station.
14:54That was his home.
14:56OK, maybe now I feel a bit bad. I'm going to go and say sorry again.
15:00Charlie, we are way past sorry.
15:03You're right. We need to fix this.
15:11Are you sure?
15:12I'm afraid so.
15:14Because I don't feel imaginary.
15:16Louis?
15:18Ah, your mum's looking for you downstairs. Time to get ready for your party.
15:22Connor doesn't believe he doesn't exist.
15:25OK, OK, well, let's go and have a chat with him, shall we?
15:28And I'll tell you what, if he does exist,
15:30he's got a lot more work to do on that garden cos it's a right mess.
15:33Come on, come on.
15:38Right, where is he, then?
15:39He's gone. He doesn't exist.
15:41Louis, that's what I've been telling you. Come on, let's get ready.
15:46MUSIC PLAYS
15:58Not every day you get invited to a big posh party at an MP's house.
16:01He must be excited.
16:02Can you keep it down? We're trying to think over here.
16:05There's got to be a way to get the Professor back in business.
16:08Forgery. We can create him a new licence
16:10so he can work under an assumed name.
16:12Forgery. We can create him a new licence
16:14so he can work under an assumed name.
16:16And lose the whole Professor Chuckles brand.
16:19Come on, Alison, think.
16:21Don't you worry, Louis,
16:22there'll be plenty of real children to play with at the party.
16:25Plus, there's loads of entertainment.
16:27You've got Beth the Bubble Lady, Magic Melissa, Eric's Exotic Animals.
16:31That's it, Dad. You're a genius.
16:33Come on, we've got to go.
16:39So when Professor Chuckles does a good show at the kids' party,
16:41the MP will give him his licence back.
16:43Outstanding.
16:44But Professor Chuckles hasn't been asked to perform at the party.
16:47No problem.
16:48When Eric's Exotic Animals doesn't show up,
16:50they'll take what they can get.
16:52And why won't Eric's Exotic Animals be showing up?
16:55The less you know, the better.
16:58What's that supposed to mean?
17:12WHISTLE BLOWS
17:17There you go. You look so smart.
17:20Right, here are my conditions.
17:22Firstly, no hugging in front of Mabel.
17:25Secondly, you can't use any of my childhood nicknames.
17:28What do you mean, Hannah Banana?
17:31Right, I've got to go and get ready.
17:33Don't forget, have a good time.
17:35What do you mean, get ready?
17:37Mum?
17:39How am I supposed to perform at this party?
17:42My puppets are ruined.
17:45That one looks all right.
17:47That...
17:49..is a ventriloquist's dummy.
17:51I haven't done that act in 20 years.
17:55You're a genius.
17:57Could be a whole new career for you.
18:00Well, genius might be a strong word.
18:03You'll be fab.
18:09Mum, will you wipe that make-up off?
18:11It's ridiculous.
18:12Says you. I've never seen so much blusher.
18:15I'm not even wearing blusher.
18:17I'm in a permanent state of embarrassment.
18:19Hey, Hannah.
18:21Fucking gum, this is it.
18:23Hey! You can call me Helen.
18:28Right.
18:29Hey.
18:32I'm not sure about this.
18:34What's he saying to her?
18:36He's explaining how one of the acts had to cancel at the last minute
18:39due to unforeseen circumstances.
18:43We're in.
18:44And it gets even better.
18:46There's a fee of £100.
18:48Now, naturally, we'll be taking a small finders' fee.
18:57But what if Gunnar comes back?
19:01But what if Gunnar comes back?
19:05If Gunnar comes back, just ignore him.
19:07Because he's not real. He's like a dream.
19:10Oh, OK.
19:12Yeah, or a ghost.
19:14A ghost?
19:15Yeah, exactly.
19:16Come on, off you pop.
19:23Why can't you just get some of your own mates?
19:26This is pathetic.
19:27We were having fun.
19:29Wow.
19:30Old records are not cheap.
19:33Here, I'll give it to you.
19:34Really?
19:35Thanks so much, Helen.
19:37Hey, after this, should we go for a pizza?
19:39Sounds great.
19:41You know what she's doing, right?
19:43She's pretending to be fond, just so she can lecture you
19:46on how to be boring like her.
19:48Shh, don't blow this.
19:50I've already got some Ravine up, and I love pizza.
19:53What? So you're pretending to like her just to get free stuff?
19:57Well, duh.
20:00I knew it. I knew she wasn't fun.
20:06Yes?
20:07Hi, I'm Joan. I'm Connor's mum.
20:09I was just dropping a present off at the party,
20:11and they said that you hadn't dropped Connor off yet.
20:14Connor?
20:15Yes, Connor.
20:17Who stayed here with your Louis last night.
20:21Connor!
20:28There you go.
20:29Come on, sweetheart.
20:31Oh, thanks for the work on the garden.
20:33I was cracking stuff up.
20:35You might want to give me a cheese sandwich when you get a minute.
20:39There he is.
20:40Come on.
20:41Connor, as I live and breathe.
20:46No, because the chorus goes,
20:48Woo-hoo!
20:50Aw, I've always wanted one of these.
20:52You're having a laugh if you think my mum's going to buy you an MP3 player.
20:56She doesn't have to.
20:57We'll wait outside for you, Helen.
21:03What are you doing?
21:04What? Me being grounded isn't enough,
21:06so now you owe me the duty of detention centre.
21:13Mabel.
21:21So, what do you think?
21:23Outstanding.
21:24You know, I'd like to thank you all.
21:26Thank us?
21:28Yeah, I mean, for years I've been hiding in my Punch and Judy booth,
21:33knowing that I'm really a ventriloquist at heart,
21:36and now here I am doing it.
21:39So, what's his name?
21:42Everyone, this is Cheesley.
21:45Cheesley, are you going to thank the nice children
21:48for giving you your big break?
21:51Yes.
21:55Yes, and that goes doubly for me.
22:06Don't even think about it.
22:08Mabel.
22:09What have you done?
22:10I'm so sorry, Mummy.
22:12You are just lucky.
22:13I know.
22:14I know.
22:15I know.
22:16I know.
22:17I know.
22:18I'm so sorry, Mummy.
22:19You are just lucky the shop agreed not to prosecute
22:22after I pay for everything.
22:24And you, you should be ashamed of yourself.
22:27Me?
22:28Distracting staff while children steal for you.
22:31That's not actually what...
22:35About Becky Brown?
22:37It's you.
22:39From school.
22:40Do you remember? I told you.
22:41About Becky Brown.
22:43How's it going, Becky?
22:44We all make mistakes when we're teenagers.
22:48But this...
22:50This is just sad.
22:53Let's go, Mabel.
23:08You're not real.
23:18We can't let Professor Chuckles go on.
23:20He's terrible.
23:22Be the final nail in his showbiz coffin.
23:25Ben's right. We need to abort.
23:27What, and lose £100? I don't think so.
23:30I'll do it myself.
23:32What?
23:33Do you see my lips moving?
23:36Nothing's ever easy these days, is it?
23:39Charlie, you've got to hide me.
23:41It's Connor. He's here.
23:43He's haunting me.
23:45I've got the perfect disguise for you, Louis.
23:53Well, you were right about Mabel from the start.
23:55Yeah, until I went and ruined it by trying to be all down in the kids.
23:59With. Down with the kids.
24:01With the kids, yeah.
24:03Hey, what about you in there, though?
24:05Eh? You weren't so bad.
24:07Does that mean I'm not grounded?
24:09As long as your dad never gets to hear about this.
24:12Deal.
24:13Hey, there you go.
24:15I never really liked Wig of Bees.
24:17Far too cool for me.
24:19Thanks, Mum.
24:20Hey, does that mean you'll buy me a record player?
24:22Don't push your luck.
24:24It's so unfair.
24:32This is insane. It's never going to work.
24:34We haven't even got an act.
24:36We don't need an act. I'm hilarious.
24:39Right, I only had what I could find in the bathroom,
24:42but camouflage effect has been achieved.
24:48That's actually pretty good.
24:50Pretty good? It's perfect.
24:52Are you sure Connor won't know it's me?
24:54He won't even know you're real as long as you act like a dummy.
24:57OK, nearly showtime.
25:00I'm actually quite nervous.
25:02What's all this?
25:03Well, if you'd like to step into the bathroom,
25:05I will explain everything.
25:07Bathroom? Why would I want to...?
25:09Oi! Oh!
25:11Get me out!
25:13Showtime.
25:15Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for...
25:19Cheesley.
25:25Erm...
25:27Say hello, Cheesley.
25:30Hello, Cheesley.
25:32Hello, Cheesley.
25:36Are you enjoying the party, Cheesley?
25:38Don't ask me. I'm just a dummy.
25:45Are you two enjoying the party?
25:47Yeah.
25:48What about you, young man? Are you enjoying the party?
25:51Who, me?
25:52Obviously. I'm looking directly at you.
25:54You can see him too?
25:56Yeah.
25:57Connor, you're alone, just like me.
26:00CHEERING
26:04Now that's entertainment.
26:16So, everything all right with Mabel, then?
26:18Yeah, yeah. Don't think we have to worry about her any more.
26:23How are things on the Connor front?
26:25Oh, yes, brilliant. Yes, indeedy, yes.
26:28We'd better be surprised if he saw his face round here again.
26:33BELL RINGS
26:34I'll get it.
26:39Mr and Mrs Enright?
26:41The whole shoplifting thing was a complete set-up.
26:44Actually, we're here about your son, Charlie.
26:49Of course. Charlie's in trouble.
26:52That is a relief.
26:54We've given Charlie a warning, but you can expect a call for the honourable member.
26:57Whose party he ruins.
26:59Wonderful. Thank you.
27:01Thank you, officer. You're a credit to the force. You really, really are.
27:04Lovely.
27:06See you soon!
27:08Probably.
27:10Charlie!
27:11What on earth were you doing at Rui's party?
27:14Have you not got anything to say?
27:16Kids.
27:18With parents like that, they've got no choice.
27:23How can this be right?
27:25Cleaning up after the kids and grounded for a week.
27:27And for what?
27:28For showing an interest in the arts.
27:30What kind of lesson's that for a child?
27:32It's a travesty of justice.