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00:00🎵
00:30🎵
00:32🎵
00:34🎵
00:36You're early.
00:38Yeah. You know how fussy Ben gets about the cinema?
00:40I'm not fussy. I just want a good seat.
00:43There's K26 and L28.
00:46That one can get a bit squeaky though.
00:48I'll go and get my piano lesson money.
00:51Woah. Your parents don't still think you're learning the piano.
00:54Of course. How do you think I still get cinema money every week?
00:58But it's lying and it's stealing.
01:01How's it stealing? They give me the money.
01:03For piano lessons.
01:06This is why I don't tell you stuff.
01:09Yeah, you get all bent about it.
01:14I can't. My parents' friends from London are coming over,
01:17so I'm on perfect daughter duty.
01:18Which you're failing at. I could do with some help here, please.
01:21Mum, I put faces on my gingerbread people.
01:25They don't look very happy.
01:26It's because they know that they're going to be eaten.
01:28Obviously.
01:29Hannah, toast!
01:31I'm on the phone.
01:33Sorry, got to go.
01:35Whoa, nice shirt.
01:37So colourful and yet so tragic.
01:39This is very fashionable, actually.
01:40Yeah, he's right.
01:42All the girls at school are wearing them.
01:45Fine, fine, I'll change it in a minute,
01:46but we don't have to put on a big show for the Rudder,
01:48because they are our friends.
01:50Nice blouse.
01:51Oh, Mum, do you have my piano money?
01:54Hey. Don't upset your brother, Hannah.
01:56He's got his grade one piano exam today.
01:59You haven't forgotten, have you?
02:01No.
02:02Good. School have sent the application form.
02:04It's all filled in.
02:05Just make sure you're at the community centre for one o'clock.
02:09Don't look so worried.
02:10I don't expect a miracle,
02:11just want to know our money's been well spent.
02:13Oh, well spent, all right.
02:16And can you make sure that family photo's on the wall
02:18for when the Ruddocks get here?
02:20Oh, Mum, it's so jokey.
02:21I know, but look, we're all smiling with our eyes open
02:24and our mouths shut.
02:26Unheard of.
02:27Stupid Ruddocks.
02:28Just cos they're here, we have to pretend to be happy.
02:30We are happy.
02:32Well, I'm happy.
02:34Yeah, you're happy, cos you're living in a dream world.
02:41Hi.
02:43Just move that back there.
02:45Lovely, lovely, really lovely.
02:47MUSIC PLAYS
02:54You're finished!
02:55You'll be exposed as a liar and a cheat.
02:57How hard can it be?
02:59It's grade one.
03:00Yeah, just a few basic scales, broken triads,
03:03perform three pieces of music,
03:05sight-read a little, and you're home free.
03:08I'm so happy I'm not you.
03:09How do you know so much about it?
03:12I used to play a little.
03:15That's it!
03:16You can be me.
03:17What are you talking about?
03:19The examiner's never met me, and Charlie's a girl's name, too.
03:22You can play piano, so...
03:25Impersonation at an official exam?
03:28Come on, seriously, this is a step too far.
03:32A covert operation behind enemy lines.
03:35I mean...
03:38MUSIC PLAYS
03:45The stress of this.
03:53Charlie Enright.
03:54That's me. Funny.
03:56Charlie used to be a boy's name, but now it's for boys and girls.
04:02Things just keep changing, I suppose.
04:08Let's go, Charlie.
04:10Smooth.
04:17Why don't we eat for gingerbread people tomorrow instead?
04:20Lily, just because you've given them faces
04:25doesn't mean they've got feelings.
04:27I know that.
04:28DOORBELL RINGS
04:29Oh, they're early.
04:31MUSIC CONTINUES
04:33Hello.
04:34Hello.
04:35Hello.
04:36Hello.
04:37You're early.
04:41My three eyes tried.
04:46Sarah!
04:47Helen, you look fabulous!
04:49Oh!
04:50And Alan. Hello, Helen.
04:52It's so good to see you.
04:54The family photo goes, or I do.
04:56Hannah, who cares what the stupid cruddocks think, anyway?
05:01You remember Alan and Sarah Ruddock, don't you?
05:04Hello, Hannah.
05:05Cruddocks.
05:06Oh, very good.
05:08Teenagers, what can you do?
05:09Oh, tell me about it. Randall is exactly the same.
05:13Hello again, Mrs Stenwright.
05:15You have a very beautiful home.
05:20Shall we go through?
05:22Come in. I'll put the kettle on.
05:27Oh, hi, Louis.
05:29I have a present for you.
05:31This is Commander Cosmos, and he talks.
05:34Wipe that smile off your face, Space Cadet.
05:37Oh, what do you say, Louis?
05:40Yes, Commander.
05:41Oh!
05:42Helen, have you seen my blue shirt?
05:44Hey!
05:46Don't worry, you don't have to hug him.
05:48Oh, phew!
05:49No, no, no, it's OK.
05:51It's fine.
05:52Hello.
05:57Oh, boy!
06:05Is that good?
06:07How would I know if I don't play the piano?
06:14Whoa!
06:18So, how are you and my old pal, Commander, getting along?
06:22He and I had lots of adventures.
06:24You did? Yeah.
06:26We fought side by side in the Mars Wars.
06:28It was hell.
06:30But Commander got me through it.
06:32So, take good care of him.
06:35Say your goodbyes, Cadet.
06:36We leave for Mars at moonrise.
06:38But... but...
06:40I can't go to war.
06:42I'm seven.
06:45They're your friends,
06:46so why do I have to have lunch with the crudducks?
06:48Stop calling him that.
06:50Oh, you're wearing clothes, what's the big occasion?
06:52Well, you know I only do one show a day.
06:55Do I know how to breathe on Mars?
06:58Louis.
06:59How would you like to have lunch in your room today?
07:09That was amazing!
07:11I know! Who'd have thought you were capable of such delicate beauty?
07:15You're calling me weak!
07:17No, it was a compliment!
07:19Ben means when we needed you most, you stepped up.
07:21Like you'd do for me.
07:23That's how we roll.
07:25I'm sorry.
07:26Like you'd do for me. That's how we roll.
07:29I've got six more months of piano cash coming.
07:31Who's hungry?
07:32I feel like nothing from today!
07:34If you get caught out in a lie, you can fix it.
07:36With another lie!
07:46Poor Charlie.
07:47Sitting a piano exam on a beautiful day like this.
07:50Honestly, I think children are busier than adults these days.
07:53When Randall's not at school, he's studying for his A-Levels.
07:56His A-Levels? I thought those weren't for another two years.
07:59They're not. You know what teenagers are like.
08:04Yeah!
08:06Well, if the Boy Scouts have taught me anything, it's be prepared.
08:10And that I'm quite popular.
08:14And how about you, Hannah? How are you getting on at school?
08:17Oh, um, Hannah's more creative than academic, aren't you?
08:21Yeah, I'm quite into street dance at the moment.
08:24Oh, I think Dad was, um, talking about your poetry.
08:28Oh!
08:29Yeah, she's really quite gifted.
08:32I can show you if you like.
08:34Oh, no, no, no, they don't want it.
08:36We'd love to hear one of your poems.
08:40She's so lucky. I don't have a poetic bone in my body.
08:44Well, who was that little thing you wrote for Mother's Day?
08:47Oh, please. That was just a silly rhyme.
08:50Mother.
08:52By Randall Ruddock.
08:54You begifted me life, and with it breath.
08:57A place forever within your debt.
08:59As recompense, what can I do?
09:01But with that breath, whisper, I love you.
09:10I was having breakfast with a clown
09:12He dropped his toast and it made him frown
09:15Why does it always land jammy-sided down?
09:18Boom!
09:24Jammy-side down, yeah.
09:26It's so true, isn't it? It's true.
09:28It's funny, cos it's true.
09:30Lovely, lovely, lovely poem.
09:36Um, didn't Hannah play the violin?
09:40No.
09:42Yes, she must be quite the musician by now.
09:46Not that we're asking her to play it.
09:48No.
09:50No.
09:52Not that we're asking her not to play it.
09:55Of course not.
09:57We'd love to hear you play it.
10:00Yes. Yes, of course we would.
10:02Yes.
10:04Yeah. Why not?
10:06Yeah? Yeah.
10:08Yeah? Yeah.
10:10Yeah. Yeah.
10:12I'll tell you why not,
10:14because I haven't played the violin since I was eight.
10:16Well, that's exactly why you need to practise.
10:18Now, where is it?
10:24Dad, please talk some sense into Mum.
10:28The violin! Are you mad, woman?
10:30What? The last time she played it,
10:32we thought there was a cat trapped in the washing machine.
10:34Well, I had to do something. It was all randall this, randall that.
10:37Yes, I know it's weird, but they're just proud of their son.
10:39No, we're proud of our kids.
10:41Helen! Helen!
10:43We're not taking any guests this weekend, understand-vous?
10:47But if you walk down the road,
10:50you'll come to a big pub,
10:53and you can stay there.
10:55OK?
10:57Maybe I can help.
11:09Whatever.
11:12Just leave me alone, OK?
11:15So proud.
11:17I'm going to the washing-up.
11:22PHONE RINGS
11:26Hello?
11:28Oh, Mrs Englert?
11:30Um, yes, I don't usually do this,
11:32but I just had to congratulate you on your Charlie.
11:36Phenomenal musical talent you've got there.
11:39One of the best I have ever heard.
11:42Charlie?
11:44Charlie Enright?
11:49Oh!
11:51Yes, I will.
11:53I will, thank you.
11:56Goodbye, kettle.
11:58Goodbye, sink.
12:00Goodbye, fridge.
12:02Hey, what are you doing?
12:04I'm saying my goodbyes. I'm going to Mars.
12:07All right.
12:09Goodbye, toaster.
12:10Goodbye, bin.
12:14Goodbye, Commander Cosmos.
12:17Wipe that smile off your face, Space Cadet!
12:20I'm not afraid of you.
12:22You can't get out there without your rocket launcher.
12:39MUSIC PLAYS
12:50Ow! What the...?
13:04The examiner phoned.
13:06Who did?
13:08Charlie.
13:10I've always been proud of you.
13:14But now I have an actual reason to be!
13:29Can I wash my hands?
13:38Who'd have thought it, eh?
13:40Our Charlie, the musical prodigy.
13:43It's really just basic scales, broken triads.
13:47Listen to him.
13:49Told you, we've got a lot to be proud of.
13:51If you want, I could get extra lessons.
13:53But they're not cheap.
13:55Can't find my violin, so I can't play for the Roddicks.
13:58Oh, that's all right. Don't worry about it.
14:00Oh, right. Cool.
14:04Good decision.
14:09MUSIC PLAYS
14:18I'm sorry, Commander. It's been too small for Mars.
14:22Oh, and if you hear any weird noises in the night,
14:26don't be scared.
14:28It's just a Johnson's cat!
14:39THUNDER RUMBLES
14:58Argh!
15:00Whoa! What's up with you?
15:02Commander Cosmos! He came back!
15:04Please don't let him take me to Mars!
15:06Calm down. It's just a nightmare.
15:08Are you sure?
15:09That your toy isn't trying to kidnap you?
15:11Erm...yeah.
15:13Charlie? Ben and Alison are here.
15:15Coming.
15:19Pancakes and maple syrup!
15:21And they left the bottle.
15:23This is nothing. Mum's even cut all my chores
15:25so I can take extra piano lessons.
15:27Which means more money.
15:29I've hit the jackpot.
15:31Charlie, we've got a surprise for you.
15:33This just keeps getting better.
15:38Ta-da!
15:39Surprise!
15:41What do you think?
15:46Are you kidding me?
15:47You can't afford my street dance lessons,
15:49but he gets a piano!
15:51This is different. Charlie's got a real talent.
15:53Huh?
15:55That came out wrong.
15:57I'll talk to her. She'll be fine.
16:02Hannah's right. It's not fair her missing out on street dance lessons
16:05just cos I'm really talented and she's not.
16:08Take the piano back.
16:10No. What sort of mother would let you miss out
16:13on the chance to make me the envy of Scarborough?
16:16And we won't have to pay for extra lessons
16:18because you can practise at home.
16:22Are you all right, love?
16:24Yeah. I'm just so happy.
16:27Aw!
16:29Well, come on, then. Play something.
16:36MUSIC PLAYS
16:54Oh, well, didn't you know it?
16:56Out of tune.
17:03Nice move, Charlie.
17:05Great, but what are you going to do when the piano tuner gets here?
17:08I could break your fingers. You can't play with broken fingers.
17:13Or you could just stop running away from your problems
17:16and tell the truth.
17:18That's it! I'll run away!
17:20Outstanding!
17:25You'll have to talk to me at some point, you know.
17:29Look, Hannah,
17:31I know Charlie's getting a lot of attention at the moment,
17:34but I don't want you to worry.
17:36As if!
17:38It's just that sometimes,
17:40when one child begins to shine,
17:43then the other children in the family can feel left behind.
17:47And, feeling ignored,
17:50they lose belief in themselves,
17:52and after that,
17:54you're pretty much doomed to a lifetime of failure.
17:59Like I said, not to worry.
18:05Right.
18:10We'll see who's got talent.
18:22...genius, and he sat down to play it,
18:25and it was amazing, just one note,
18:27and he knew that it was out of tune, so...
18:30Oh, it's barely out of tune.
18:32In fact, I'm surprised a human ear
18:34can detect such a small variation in pitch.
18:36Well, Charlie does have astonishing musical ears.
18:40Although, just to be clear, they look perfectly normal.
18:42Well, see, I've got superb hearing, and even I can...
18:47Hello, children.
18:51He's our maestro!
18:53Come on, Charlie, show us how it's done.
18:56Hey, I've heard a lot about you.
18:58Hey, I've heard a lot about you, son.
19:01I'd love to hear you play before I go.
19:04Yeah, no problem. Whatever.
19:21Really?
19:23Don't worry, I'll go and have a word with her.
19:26Well, come on, let's hear then.
19:29Oh, all right, just for you.
19:32OK.
19:44Hey, you found your violin.
19:46Yeah, I just need some practice.
19:48Listen, you don't have to play for the Ruddocks.
19:51Give, give.
19:53Charlie can do it.
19:55How does anyone even know Charlie's any good?
19:57Has anyone actually heard him play?
20:01You don't even want me there, do you?
20:03Hannah, how can you even say that?
20:06Of course I want you there.
20:09You'll be handing out nibbles and drinks.
20:12Oh, that reminds me. I've got a lot to do.
20:22Hey.
20:25Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
20:30Unfortunately, I'd better be off.
20:32Oh, don't stop, Charlie.
20:34Sorry, Mum, but that piece takes a lot out of me.
20:37Maybe later?
20:39Yeah, you save yourself for later, cos you're bigger than the Ruddocks.
20:42You deserve your own piano recital.
20:45I'm gonna need a lot more nibbles.
20:50What's a piano recital?
20:55MUSIC PLAYS
21:08Look at all these chairs!
21:10We've been outnumbered before.
21:12New plan.
21:16Of course. Your plan's to add another story to the skyscraper of lies.
21:21We'll hide the CD player in the piano.
21:24When I give you the signal, press play.
21:31It won't fit. There's too much stuff in there.
21:34It's not stuff. It's piano.
21:36It has to go.
21:38You can't just dismantle a piano.
21:40I'll take a photo, so we know how to put it back together.
21:43You weren't even looking.
21:45I didn't need to. I took a photo.
21:47OK, let's do this.
21:50You might want to look away.
21:54MUSIC STOPS
22:06Say your goodbyes, cadet. We leave for Mars at moonrise.
22:15Look what you've done!
22:17We'll lower the lights. Who's going to know?
22:20Uh-oh! Hostile to 12 o'clock!
22:24MUSIC CONTINUES
22:29Now what?
22:30The remote, it won't work through the piano.
22:32We'll have to turn it on by hand.
22:34How are we supposed to do that? We can't fit in it.
22:38Charlie, Commander Cosmos, he's alive!
22:43Yeah! We saw it on the news.
22:45It's on the news? Yeah.
22:47He's been taking seven-year-olds from all over the country
22:50and sending them to space.
22:52Wars, wars, wars!
22:54Yeah, that was it. Right, Ben?
22:56Uh...
22:58But don't worry, we've found you the perfect hiding place.
23:06What's this for?
23:08So Commander Cosmos can't hear you breathing.
23:10I cough, you press play. I cough again, the coast is clear, you press stop. Simple.
23:14Thanks, Charlie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just hurry up!
23:17MUSIC CONTINUES
23:22Another proud moment for us.
23:28Come in, come in, sit down.
23:30Sit down.
23:34And then I...
23:36Lily just won't take care of Ben, right?
23:38Charlie! Thank you.
23:45Well, I really didn't mean to go to all this bother on our account.
23:48Seriously, we would have been happy with a bit of telly in an early night.
23:53Right, now, I'm not going to bore you with Charlie's talent.
23:56I know it comes from my side of the family and all that.
23:59Instead, I'm just going to let it speak for itself.
24:02Charlie!
24:04APPLAUSE
24:22HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
24:25PIANO PLAYS
24:46HE COUGHS
24:53HE COUGHS
24:58HE COUGHS
25:04HE COUGHS
25:06MUSIC PLAYS
25:13HE COUGHS
25:15MUSIC CONTINUES
25:22MUSIC CONTINUES
25:28MUSIC CONTINUES
25:45MUSIC CONTINUES
25:50Cosmo!
25:52Take that!
25:54MUSIC CONTINUES
25:56I'm never going to survive!
25:58Never! Never!
26:00MUSIC CONTINUES
26:02You can't take me!
26:04MUSIC STOPS
26:06CLAPPING
26:16If you want to miss the traffic, you should probably get on the road.
26:20Great. Sounds like good advice.
26:23Yeah.
26:33Drive safely!
26:37Look, before you say anything, I really am sorry.
26:42I don't know what the worst punishment is you can think of,
26:45but whatever it is, I deserve it.
26:47I'm just sick and tired of all the lies,
26:50and from now on, I promise, no more lies and...
26:53Commander Cosmos!
26:55Huh?
26:57Charlie!
27:07How can this be right? Change every single bed for a week?
27:11And for what? For wanting my mum to be proud of my talent?
27:15What kind of lesson's that for a child?
27:18It's a travesty of justice!
27:20MUSIC CONTINUES
27:44MUSIC STOPS