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Gogglebox NZ S1E05 (2024)
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00:00Cheers!
00:02Wow!
00:04Cheers!
00:06Whee!
00:08Happy birthday
00:10to you
00:12Happy birthday
00:14to you
00:16Happy birthday
00:18to you
00:20Our beautiful girl
00:22Happy birthday
00:24to you
00:26to you
00:28to you
00:38Every evening in New Zealand
00:40over 2 million of us
00:42spend the night on the couch in front of the TV
00:44Who's this one?
00:46He's just a contestant
00:50We're going behind closed doors
00:52Hello!
00:54Oh my god! What?
00:56What Kiwis thought about what was on TV
00:58in the last 7 days
01:00Hello!
01:02In the week that Princess Eugenie officially became
01:04Mrs Brooksbank, the honey badger
01:06broke 4 million hearts
01:08There's more than an alligator in the water there
01:10Yeah!
01:12Exactly!
01:14A revamped Doctor Who returned to TVNZ too
01:16I know it looks like a
01:18vibrator but it's actually a sonic screwdriver
01:20And a protein heist
01:22had three speech cops on the hop
01:24Holy moly!
01:26That's a pile of meat in a half
01:38Oh look at that!
01:40On Wednesday night, 8 weeks of serial dating
01:42reached a climax
01:48The Bachelor!
01:50Oh my goodness!
01:52Man, I hate The Bachelor
01:54Oh Nick!
01:56Oh my god, are we getting to see the final?
01:58Holy strewth, talk about rollercoaster rides
02:00This has been challenging
02:02It's been insane
02:04Oh, I want to know what happens
02:06Grand finale
02:08After last week's episode, I better hope this one's good
02:10And Brittany, don't touch me
02:12Why do they call him the honey badger?
02:14I never thought I would be this invested
02:16It's important
02:18Stop touching the drink!
02:22It's down to the final two
02:26We know that you're going for Brittany
02:28Let's be honest
02:30Which one does he choose?
02:32Ah, Brunette
02:34I'm so compatible with her
02:36The chemistry's there
02:38We're always having a ball
02:40We were reminded of all the fun times Nick and Britt had together
02:42There's more than an alligator
02:44in the water there
02:46Yeah, conga eel
02:48Exactly
02:50But Nick had also enjoyed Sophie's company
02:54She's got a smile that could light a thousand hearts
02:56She's just beautiful
03:00Oh, I hate how he kisses
03:02How could you kiss that moustache?
03:06Hmm, I wouldn't know
03:10Nick had a tough decision on his hands
03:12Yeah, a lot of mixed emotions
03:14Yeah
03:16It's been a hell of a ride
03:18He's made his mind up already
03:20Yeah, Brittany
03:22Surely, you have to
03:24You can't be like
03:26You can't be 50-50 at this stage of it
03:32I wonder who it's going to be
03:38Hello, how are you?
03:40I'm alright
03:42Who votes for her?
03:44Put your hands up
03:46I'll do it again
03:48Listen to what he's saying
03:52Not only amazingly beautiful
03:54and smart
03:56Usually the first one
03:58it's not them, it's the second one
04:00I told you, tall blonde, tall brown
04:02Oh well, she's about to get the dump
04:04You can tell by his face
04:08I wish there was
04:10I like you a lot, Sophie
04:12And
04:14She knows
04:16She knows
04:18Awkward
04:20But you stink
04:22Shut up
04:24I
04:26am not able
04:28to wholeheartedly commit to you
04:34Look at her face, she's going to cry
04:36You're alright there sweetheart
04:38Don't cry
04:42She's better off without him
04:44Yes
04:50Oh my God, here we go
04:52Brittany
04:54Here we go, she's wearing white
04:56I knew it
04:58Looks like a broad
05:00Let's go to a motel room
05:02Have a few drinks
05:04Let's get it on
05:06It's all come to an end
05:08We've been on a
05:10hell of a ride
05:12It's going to be a hell of a night tonight
05:14It's going to be thunder
05:16and lightning
05:18She won't know
05:20what bloody hit her
05:24I'm stroking to the left
05:26and I'm stroking to the right
05:28and I'm stroking
05:30to the woman that
05:32is right here tonight
05:35From this point forward
05:37I won't be entering in any relationships
05:39if I can't give
05:41100% of me
05:43Shut up
05:45I want to hear
05:55I can't give 100% of me
05:57to you
05:59What the hell
06:01Oh my God
06:04What?
06:06What?
06:10What the?
06:12He picked none of the girls
06:14He's walking away single
06:24Thank you for sharing
06:26You're a dick
06:28You're an actual dick
06:30An actual dick
06:33He played all of them
06:35What a waste of time
06:37And he played us
06:39I feel played
06:41I feel played
06:43It's almost laughable
06:45What?
06:47He didn't pick me either
06:49He picked nobody
06:51Are you kidding me?
06:53No she's not fudging joking
06:55You need to drink girls
06:57Out of everyone that threw themselves at him
06:59Do you know why?
07:02It's Nick's loss
07:04Yep, good on you
07:06Yep, it's his loss
07:08Good on you
07:10Who wins the money?
07:12You don't win money
07:14There's no money
07:16There's a cash prize
07:20What the fuck's the point of going to Australia
07:22Why'd you laugh man?
07:24You imagine a guy
07:26that comes home and has to have a choice between you two
07:32Oh my god
07:34Oh my god
07:44Are you going to defend me Stephanie?
07:50Son of a
07:52Son of a, are you mocking me Lina?
07:56In the news this week
07:58we heard disturbing statistics on climate change
08:01Cut him, Mike.
08:02Silver fox you are.
08:05A new climate change report out this afternoon
08:07has revealed a huge gap between where the world is
08:10and where we need to be
08:12to prevent catastrophic levels of warming.
08:15Holy shit.
08:16Surprise!
08:17Yeah.
08:19Is this news?
08:20It's called The Obvious.
08:21You're stating it.
08:24It's fake.
08:25It's not happening.
08:26Fox Glacier, gone.
08:28Great Barrier Reef, gone.
08:29400,000 species, Tuatara included, gone.
08:34It's a confronting picture
08:35of a world we'll be living in within decades
08:38and all we can rely on to change this picture is ourselves.
08:42The report says-
08:43I don't quite believe it all the way yet.
08:45Not the whole climate change thing,
08:47but the 400,000 species going
08:51because I feel like I would have heard it before now.
08:56The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change
08:58has issued what scientists are describing
09:00as its most apocalyptic report.
09:03What does apocalyptic mean?
09:07We need to know that by the time we die, Mary-
09:12Yeah, the place will be a mess.
09:14Yeah, and it'll be apocalyptic.
09:17That's almost it.
09:19At the moment, the global average of warming is one degree.
09:22New Zealand sits a bit above that on around 1.2.
09:26Without any change,
09:27we're heading for an unlivable three degrees plus.
09:31Two degrees has been the target until now.
09:34Business as usual would see us hit that
09:36during the second half of this century.
09:38It's unlikely I'll be alive in 70 years.
09:41Probably not.
09:41You might be.
09:42You just want to buffer though, right?
09:4462 years from now, I ain't gonna be alive in that lifetime.
09:48Are you sure?
09:49Well, that'd put me at 115.
09:53You could still make it there.
09:55Oh, wow.
09:57No.
09:58At the moment, you don't look a day over 90.
10:00The biggest challenge for New Zealand, farming,
10:03the sector responsible for more than half our emissions.
10:06I wonder what sort of gases are causing global warming.
10:10No doubt, it's been quite-
10:12Dear Lord.
10:13Do you know that cows give off, from farting,
10:17give off a lot of those emissions?
10:22What if I fart?
10:23Would it do the same damage?
10:25Serenity.
10:27The scientists are warning we need to cut
10:29global emissions by 45%.
10:32Yeah, but how?
10:34Per person, how?
10:35Tell us how.
10:37Stop freaking me out.
10:40I ain't gonna stop using my hairdryer every day,
10:41but like, what else can I do?
10:43Why not?
10:44First of all,
10:45this moustache doesn't just fix out like this normally.
10:48I think they want us all to go vegetarian, though.
10:51Let's go vegetarian.
10:52No.
10:54I refuse.
10:55No, they actually said that the one thing
10:56that you could do to help save the planet
10:59is to change it to vegetarianism.
11:03Vegetarianism.
11:04Thank you.
11:05I don't feel like I'm doing my bit.
11:07You've got an electric car.
11:09I've got an electric car.
11:10Yeah.
11:11Woo-hoo-hoo.
11:12I'm okay, baby.
11:14That's right.
11:16Oh, that's wonderful.
11:18I'm so hot.
11:19Good.
11:22You're a dirty, filthy petrol burner.
11:25You stink.
11:35So, I was thirsty as,
11:37and I was praying for an orange tree.
11:40And I found one.
11:44You're stealing!
11:45No, I wasn't stealing.
11:46Whose orange tree was it?
11:48I literally prayed for an orange tree,
11:50and I walked around the corner,
11:52and I saw an orange tree.
11:54heaps of oranges on it. You're a thief. See, I'm Māori, I can claim all of those trees
11:58under the Treaty of Waitangi. Oh, here we go. Under Article 2 of the Treaty of Waitangi,
12:03we have full tino rangatiratanga over. Tino rangatiratanga. Tino rangatiratanga is sovereignty
12:10over all of the vegetation. Here we go. Yeah. On Monday night, we checked in with Aussie
12:18cops in the seaside suburb of Manly. This is Beach Cops. Oh yeah. Beach Cops. Cops beach.
12:30What do you do as a beach cop? Everything like a normal cop, but just on the beach.
12:34A lot of naughty things go on on that beach. Besides having barbecues. Yeah. There's the
12:43old hoochie coochie smoking. So we're down here at Manly Wharf. We've just had a bloke
12:49go into Aldi's supermarket here and he's picked up two trays for about $300 worth of
12:54scotch fillet and just walked straight back out the exit. Do you think like if they ever
12:59get in a police chase and they've got, oh, like a bike chase at someone, it'll be like,
13:04oh, we've got him. It's all sweet. We're on mountain bikes and he's on a BMX. Or like
13:10we've got, oh no, he's got one of those e-bikes. Damn it. So someone's stolen a scotch fillet
13:15and they're going to look for it at a beach barbecue. Unless he's stolen an entire cow,
13:23are we actually that bothered? He looks to be just piling some of the scotch fillet and
13:28mince up into the trays. And he's about to pick it off and walk back up the screen. There
13:33he goes. Oh, okay. He did. He stole a cow. Okay. That's fair enough. Okay. Now I understand
13:38why they're bothered. Holy moly. That's a pile of meat and a half. The beach cops pursued
13:44the meat thief on foot. We've come across Dominic quite a few times. He's actually known
13:49to hang outside the police station and at Manly Court, unknown reasons, but... Come
13:55on, Andrew. Do you know him? Oh my gosh. I love watching TV with you. The program also
14:11followed an officer caught to a very different incident. What I'm going to do is I'm going
14:16to get you to blow through here. So just put your lips around it. Keep going. Keep going.
14:20Keep going. No, no. Stop. He looks like he's trying to do a saxophone solo. He's doing
14:27the saxophone for Careless Whisper right now. Oh, look at him. All right. He's come up over
14:37the limit. So at this stage you're under arrest for the purpose of breath analysis. Oh, surprising.
14:42You look like a stand-up bloke. Yeah, absolutely. Bryce and Anna have been called to help remove
14:47a possum who's hiding from the heat. That'll be cool. Like, how is that a police problem?
14:57Potential homicide? Oh, I can't stand possums. What about, what if we tried to butt in? Poke
15:06it out? Yeah. Just start the car. You reckon that would scare it out of it? No. What if
15:13it would get caught and fan-bound and get all munched up and spat out the other end?
15:17That's one less possum that they have to worry about killing than wildlife. Experience backup
15:22was needed for this rescue operation. Oh, look at him go, Sergeant. You got this under
15:29control, boy. You see him coming? Bryce, what the bloody hell have you been doing, mate?
15:32I sent you here an hour ago. You're still bloody here. Hold on. Ready? Come on, buddy.
15:41Grab his legs. Doesn't matter which way you bring him out. Get the old legs. Oh, not for
15:48me. Things the cops have to do, eh? Poor possum. Just something about them. They're good eel
15:57bait. How do you make eel bait out of a possum? You chop it up. Oh, you kill it. It's not
16:05alive. You think they're going to catch the eels like that? Oh, come on, Maureen. Good
16:13love of those. On Sunday night, Animal Planet screened a David Attenborough program. Animal
16:23Planet. It's time to watch some murder. Animal Planet. This is puppy porn. The documentary
16:40took us to Alaska to witness a natural phenomenon. Groups of males sweep through the shallows
16:47and release their sperm in vast milky clouds. Is that the herringers? Do you eat buggers?
16:59The females follow, covering the seabed with eggs. So the poor old female fish doesn't
17:06get a damn good shagging to get it pregnant. No, fish don't shag. I know how you feel,
17:12fish. The herring have spawned on an astonishing scale. They turn hundreds of kilometres of
17:25coastline white with spawn. Oh, my gosh. That's a sperm bath. God, that's gross. Why is that
17:38gross? The sea was white because it was full of eggs and fish sperm. Yeah? It's fish sperm.
17:48Meanwhile, on the sea lion colony, new life is now arriving. This mother can at last give
17:57birth. Isn't that amazing? Pulls it out. That's a do-it-yourself job. Hey, Max, you
18:14arrived just like that. In a blue casing. Yep. Yep, blue and purple. Stop the conversation.
18:24Yeah, is there like an alpha seal? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, the one married to Heidi
18:31Klum. Oh, the milky mouth. It's got milky mouth like baby's get. That's disgusting.
18:44Can you imagine what that smells like? Bloody hell. A huge Pacific storm is brewing. The
18:55mothers must get their young to the safety of higher ground. Hurry, hurry, hurry, grab
19:01him. I've got to take care of them. As the seas begin to subside, many have survived, but
19:23others have not. Oh no, it's a dead baby. Oh. And it's crying, isn't it? Yeah. I can't
19:35look. Can't you watch it? There's nothing this mother could have done to save. I'm okay,
19:45sure I heard a snuffle. Just a little sniff, okay? It's okay. What are you doing there?
20:02A kokoro. What the hell's a kokoro? It's like a sudoku, but like crosswords with hints and
20:08answers. Dangerous doing that with a pen, though. Mate, danger's my middle name. I love
20:17sitting between mum and dad. Tuesday night, we caught up with Kiwi couples taking part
20:22in a bold social experiment. Oh yeah. Mass. Oh yeah. Come on. Best show. The couples congregated
20:34for the first time at a dinner party in Bali. Yeah. Your favourite show. Yes. The experiment
20:44appeared to be working better for some than others. And I'd love to say there was that
20:49instant bond, but there's not. Crazy. She's crazy. I'm terrified of Ksenia. I find her
20:59absolutely horrible. Horrible. And I'm pretty horrible.
21:14Wow. I know. I'd be heartbroken if someone told me that, eh? What, your chat shit? Yeah.
21:20It is. She's not a very subtle wife, is she? No. Wait, it's your favourite French
21:26actually, Baraka? Yeah. Give me a bit of snapper, it's all good. Oh my gosh, she's so bossy.
21:36But like me. He loves it. She's coming out like a right package, man. Holy shit. I can
21:50sort of understand how he feels. Oh, me too. Living with you is a bit like that. What do
21:57you mean? Well, you know, you've got to learn to stand on your own two feet. Me or you?
22:03Me. Wayne, what does your wife say? How do you spell it? How do you spell it? How do
22:10you spell it? P-S-Y-C-H-O. Is that how you spell psycho? P-S-Y-C-H-O. You know, you're
22:24a very strong, independent, unique personality. And so I had to adapt to that. Oh, poor Wayne,
22:45look. Oh dear. Yep, go for it. Go for the drinks. Just drown your sorrow. Yeah, yeah,
22:54yeah, do it. Oh, he's going to have a bad hangover tomorrow. Probably still better then.
23:01But the worst part is he's got to wake up next to her. Yeah. When the honeymoon was
23:06finished, the couples returned to normal life. So this is where it gets real interesting.
23:12So I've married a man who makes cups of tea like this. What's wrong with that? Honey?
23:25I wouldn't mind a cup of tea. Can you make me a cup of tea? No, you make me a cup of
23:29tea. Cup of Rosie Lee? I really want to know what the problem is with the tea, but I will
23:33never know now. I've made a cup of tea once, and only ever once. And I got asked never
23:42to make another one. I'm thirsty. And that's what I want to do. Punch cup tea. Coming back
23:56to real life, maybe something changed. I just need to know whether we're on the same level
24:02that's all. Oh, I wish there was a manhole so I could escape. It's real 50-50, eh, these
24:12match-ups? Oh, yeah. Surely could have done a better job. We should sign you up next year.
24:19Oh, OK. Oh, we'll see how we go next year then maybe, yeah. Would you keep the moho
24:27or lose it if you win on that show? I'd keep it. It's part of me now. It is who I am.
24:36He's looking at you, kid. And you, here.
24:40This week saw the much-anticipated return of a sci-fi classic to TVNZ2.
24:56I love Doctor Who. What's this programme called? Doctor Who! Doctor Who?
25:12The Thirteenth Doctor is played by English actor Jodie Whittaker.
25:16She's the Doctor! Oh, it's a female Doctor. He's got a female Doctor. This is the first
25:32series in all of Doctor Who's history. To have a female Doctor. To have a female Doctor
25:39Do you know how controversial it was? Very. So a lot of hardcore Doctor Who fans were
25:45like, well, it's always been a man, it's written as a man. Gary, who's a big Doctor Who fan,
25:51kind of felt a little bit like that. And then I slapped him down and said, no, Gary, no.
25:57Initially, the Doctor was very confused about her situation. Why are you calling me madam?
26:03Because you're a woman. Am I? Does it suit me? What? Oh, yeah. I remember. Sorry. Half
26:12an hour ago, I was a white-haired Scotsman. It was probably a smart choice for a Doctor
26:17to go with, like, shoulder length hair. Because if you're going to be a chick and you've got
26:23aliens to kill, shoulder length hair would get in the way less. You know what I mean?
26:29Yeah. She couldn't stop to go, oh, I've got to kill this alien, or whatever the hell,
26:35and stop to do a ponytail. Or go do like a massive right hook or something, and then
26:40the ponytail would come whipping around and get you in the face. Yeah, and then stuns
26:44herself, like, oh, where's the alien gone? Can I have your name, please? When I can remember
26:48it. What was it? I can't watch it. What was it? What's it doing here? Finally, the Doctor
26:54came face to face with the evil villain. Tim Shaw. Tim Shaw. Tim Shaw. Tim Shaw. That's
27:07rough, isn't it? He's got teeth all over him. See, I told you. There's trophies. That's
27:22disgusting. That's disgusting. Rubbish. And it wasn't long before an iconic gadget made
27:30an appearance. Swiss Army Sonic. Now we've added Sheffield Steel. It's her sonic pen.
27:37She always has her sonic pen. I know it looks like a vibrator, but it's actually a sonic
27:42screwdriver. Who are you? I know exactly who I am. I'm the Doctor. Do you want to
27:59know a secret? Gary cried when David Tennant stopped being the Doctor when he died, because
28:07he said he wasn't ready yet, and Gary, like, it was the cutest thing I've ever fucking
28:11seen. Gary's always been a pussy, eh? Yeah, but he's just got so much emotion underneath
28:17it. It's just quite wonderful. They do scratch. George, get in there. Get in there. George.
28:31Get in there, mate. Get in there. Did you see it? Don't bloody hurt me. Do it properly,
28:38mate. Get in. George, harder. Harder. Get in there, George. George. Oh, my God. All
28:45right, can you stop playing? Dave, you're the worst bloody back scratcher. Excuse me.
28:49Excuse me. Don't do that to your husband, because he went out and bought you three bloody
28:54back scratchers, and still you can't even use one of them. No. Fair. Fair. OK, check
29:02mate, Lee. You're getting no sympathy from us. On Sunday night, we tested our faith in
29:09the paranormal on TLC's Haunted Towns. We're the Tennessee Wraith Chasers. We travel America
29:16exploring the country's most haunted towns. Oh, my God. Is this Gus? Yeah. Oh. Ah, so
29:26we're into the supernatural. Gettysburg, the site of the bloodiest battle of the American
29:33Civil War. And one of the most haunted towns in the country. Most haunted town. That'd
29:41be interesting, wouldn't it? Would you go there if we were near? Yes. Yeah, I would
29:47too. Ghosts. What's your standpoint? Oh, OK, ghosts. Do I believe in ghosts? No. Silly
29:58question. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. I knew you were going to say that. The show
30:06featured a team of ghostbusters who attempted to make contact with spirits from the Civil
30:10War. Kind of creepy. Don't want to watch this. Oh, shit. This is demons, devils haunting.
30:22Is this real? Yeah. Shhh. Ow. Most Maoris don't like playing with this sort of stuff.
30:31Kehua. Kehua. That's what they call them. Kehua. It's ghost. The team went to a military
30:39memorabilia store where they did their utmost to summon the spirits. All soldiers at arms.
30:46They're authentic, that's for sure. Oh my God, you're fucking stupid. You laugh now,
30:54but you're going to be scared shitless soon. We're using Brandon as kind of a human trigger
31:00to see if they'll interact with him. You know, he's in a Union uniform, he's in a coffin.
31:04You ready to go in? Yep. Let's do this thing, man. Oh my God, they're closing it. Oh my
31:11God, he's out of his mind. My brain's going numb. I'm so scared. We're going to set up
31:20a stat cam here on the dress that has the laser grid on it. Oh my God, we're going for
31:28more. If you tell us the name of the person who wore the dress. What? Did I just say what
31:37he would, I think? I said Fuge. The girl's got a mouth on her. Okay, I don't know if
31:43I believe this now. Are you telling me that fuck you hasn't always been around? Yeah.
31:49Yeah, no, it has. It must be. No, I don't know whether it has. Look, if Jesus banged
31:58his hammer with the thumb of the hammer, he'd say fuck you. No, I don't think he would.
32:04Oh no, he would. Were you not just pulling on my jacket? Where did you see that? Right here.
32:16Don't, don't. I'm scared.
32:20If you were going to come back as a ghost, what would you come back like?
32:34I would be one with a bed sheet over me, right? Running around and just make sure you don't
32:40knock on Pac-Man's door. Oh mate, I'd come back in like a Kiwi singlet and boardies and
32:46candles. And constantly referencing ghost ships.
32:59At the start of the week, we turned into Bravo's Body Fixers.
33:05Welcome to Body Fixers. Hello. Hi. Body Fixers. Body Fixers. Fix it, fix it. Body Fixers.
33:13Oh, I love this. So it's like that bird with the freaky tongue that goes, that's the one.
33:25Oh! Oh man. Did he do something to his helmet?
33:34This week, Becky brought her daughter Isabella to see the experts.
33:38People just make assumptions straight away when they look at her.
33:42That she is just some sort of airhead.
33:45Did she say that people think she's a prostitute? No. What did she say?
33:50That people think she's a certain way. Well yeah, because she's presenting herself to the world in a certain way.
33:57It's none of her fucking business. Honestly.
34:01She's got her daughter's interest at heart, but the daughter's old enough now, mind you, if she lives at home.
34:06Does she have her daughter's interest at heart, or does she just want her own way?
34:09I was born and bred in the West Country, but I don't feel like I should be here because, you know, my look is very California.
34:17Oh darling, you're delusional.
34:22I don't think there's anything wrong with her. She doesn't need to tone it down.
34:26All she needs is a boob job and she'd be perfect.
34:30What, is there something the matter with them? Yeah, she's got nothing there.
34:33It's all about the Insta followers, mate. Insta followers.
34:36Oh, she'd be one of those types. Yeah.
34:38The immediate, like, the types that I just go see on dating apps, for example, and go, nope. Yeah.
34:45I'm going to scrub away all that heavy contour makeup, cleanse her face so that we can see the real Bella underneath.
34:52You don't need a body fixer for that. I'll say. Just have a bath.
34:57She could just wipe her face. Yeah, like, she could fix herself, right?
35:01She doesn't need experts to say that, oh, you need to be fixed.
35:04Just needs a damp cloth. Yeah.
35:06The team's next client was Andrew.
35:09So, what brings you in? I'm a beauty blogger. I have about 20,000 followers.
35:14How are you a beauty blogger? Like, are they serious?
35:18There's a bit of a disconnect, isn't there? They're blackheads.
35:23While Andrew prepared for a deep cleanse, Isabella was about to reveal her new look to Mum Becky.
35:30OK, here we go. One, two, three.
35:39Oh, my God. I look like my Nan.
35:44Oh, my God, what have they done to her? They've ruined her.
35:47What the heck is she wearing? The team done her dirty on this one. Boo!
35:52Boo! Boo!
35:56Boo!
36:00You look lovely. Oh, well, I'm glad one of us thinks that.
36:04Thanks for all your effort, but it sucks. That's what she's saying, and everyone's like, OK.
36:09Andrew was now ready for his treatment.
36:17He's got heat!
36:20I had a pimple in my back once. It's still there sometimes.
36:23And I had it once. It's still there sometimes, though.
36:27I'm itching for a good squeeze.
36:31Hey, look at me. I am. I can see them from here.
36:35SLURPS
36:38Tasty.
36:40All you have to do is push your nose out like that.
36:43Oh! It actually hurts!
36:46No!
36:49It actually worked! Oh, no, that's disgusting.
36:53Ready?
36:55Andrew's extraction was now complete.
36:58I call bullshit.
37:00Those scars wouldn't heal in that short time.
37:02Can't. It's impossible.
37:04You look no different. You've just got a whole lot of make-up on.
37:08He has. He's got make-up.
37:10Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, there's, like, a blackhead.
37:13Honestly, it's been there for, like...
37:15Oh! It's coming out!
37:17It's coming out!
37:19It's been there for, like, two years.
37:21It's just always there. I don't know what to do with it.
37:24Like, it's on demand. It's like on Spider-Man.
37:26I can spin it wherever I want.
37:44Oh, here you go. That's what a cock ring looks like.
37:47I don't want to see what a cock ring looks like.
37:49It looks nothing like that. It looks nothing like that,
37:51so stop being bloody cheeky Charlie.
37:53Oh, look, it goes around your knob bits.
37:56Ooh-ah.
37:58Ooh-ah.
38:00Ooh, a leash.
38:02Don't get any fucking ideas.
38:04Crushed on a bike! What the...?
38:06You were going to show me the water around.
38:08Let's go back to Samoa. Yeah.
38:11I wish I was Doctor Who and eradicate that thought out of my brain.
38:14There's your boy.
38:16Three's Sunday night movie was a true romance.
38:19Oh, I've got to go.
38:25Ooh, ooh, ooh.
38:276.15.
38:29Oh, I've got to go.
38:34Oh!
38:37Stop it!
38:39I love this movie!
38:41Oh, no, I can't watch this.
38:43I don't even know what this is.
38:45I fucking love this movie. I can't.
38:47I sobbed on the plane.
38:49I can't be doing this.
38:51What is this?
38:53Me before you.
38:55Taxi!
38:59Oh!
39:01Boom.
39:03Oh, that's not a good way to start a movie, is it?
39:06I have to apologise. I cannot keep it together.
39:13Oh, these books! I loved these books.
39:16Me before you. Oh, my God, this was amazing.
39:18Have you read this? Yeah.
39:20Oh, sweet. It's a romantic film.
39:24Right up your alley.
39:27I think I started watching it and you gave up in the first five minutes,
39:31saying it was rubbish and too girly.
39:34Fancy that.
39:37Emilia Clarke plays Louisa,
39:39a working-class girl who got a job at the local castle.
39:42You must be Louisa Clarke.
39:44Oh, she should get a job anyway. She's gorgeous.
39:46Do you have any experience of quadriplegia?
39:48Uh, no.
39:50Would that bother you?
39:52Not as much as it would bother him, obviously.
39:54Sorry. Sorry, no, I didn't. No, uh...
39:56No, I...
39:58Ah! That would happen to me!
40:00Is this supposed to be a bit funny?
40:02There are funny bits.
40:04Can't all be sad, can it?
40:06You're a much more emotional creature than I thought.
40:09I don't know why you didn't think I was.
40:11I'm Lou.
40:13Yeah.
40:15You already said that.
40:19Shall I make us all a cup of tea?
40:21Those eyebrows are amazing.
40:23They just wriggle around the top of her head.
40:26See? Can you do a wave like that with your eyebrows?
40:29Eyebrows?
40:31I mean, the...
40:35She's going to fall in love with me.
40:38Can you just watch?
40:40Man!
40:42I cannot believe that you are willing to help our son end his life!
40:46Louisa uncovered Will's plan to end his own life.
40:51So sad.
40:53Are you crying?
40:55Shut up.
40:57I don't cry.
40:59My eyes are just self-lubricating.
41:02Is the rest of you following suit?
41:04Self-lubricating?
41:08We had high hopes that Louisa's charms would derail Will's plan.
41:12Do you know something, Clarke?
41:14You are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning.
41:18Aww!
41:20Yes!
41:22Oh, isn't it sweet?
41:25You can get over any hurdles if you want, Lou.
41:34You're drunk driving.
41:38Get on with having a ball.
41:41She's giving him life.
41:45He's trying to give her memories,
41:47and she thinks she's convincing him not to kill himself.
41:51It's fucking awful!
41:55Does he die?
41:57Just watch.
41:59Just listen! And watch!
42:01Look at me.
42:04Please.
42:06Look at me.
42:08I can't.
42:10Don't look at me.
42:17We have never been more opposite people than right now.
42:21You are a mess.
42:24She's crying.
42:26Yes.
42:28She's crying.
42:30Don't take it seriously.
42:32You've come out on the right side, you know, Maude.
42:34It's only a movie. I realise that.
42:40It pulls on the old heart strings.
42:42It does.
42:44Don't fight back those tears.
42:46Just let those tears roll out.
42:54This is just lovely.
42:56No tongues or anything like that, you know.
42:58No.
43:00No open mouths.
43:04I'm going.
43:06I'm going.
43:08I'm going.
43:10I just wish he'd change his mind.
43:14He might.
43:16I know he doesn't. I've read the book.
43:18Thanks, honey.
43:24Yeah!
43:28Fuck off!
43:30Dad needs you.
43:32Huh?
43:34Dad needs you.
43:36He's all right.
43:38And where is she now? Look at that.
43:40I don't want you getting sad.
43:42Just live well.
43:44Just live.
43:48I'll be walking beside you every step of the way.
43:50Love, Will.
43:52Oh, God.
43:58I'm really sorry.
44:00You're getting nothing else out of me.
44:02Excellent.
44:04Gary, I need you.
44:06I'm going home.
44:08That movie that I cried on
44:10and played on.
44:12I don't know what you mean.
44:14The movie where the man
44:16kills himself at the end.
44:18Give me a hug.
44:48You

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