First broadcast 21st March 2014.
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Sir Terry Wogan
Jimmy Carr
Carol Vorderman
Andrea Sella
Frank Furedi
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Sir Terry Wogan
Jimmy Carr
Carol Vorderman
Andrea Sella
Frank Furedi
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Hello and welcome to Duck, Quack, Stone, Echo. This is a show where we take a look at some
00:23amazing and slightly odd facts and then put them to the test. Each one of my guests have
00:27brought their favourite facts along with them and they'll argue over which one is best.
00:31So let's see who's joining me tonight. An interesting fact about my first guest is he
00:35once famously conducted an incredibly drunk interview with George Best. Apparently George
00:40had also had a few. Please welcome Sir Terry Weldon. An unusual fact about my next guest
00:52is that his latest stand-up DVD received 114 complaints in the first hour when it was recently
00:57shown on Channel 4. To be fair, 113 of those were from me asking why they weren't showing
01:02Lee Mack going out live instead. Gut-bustingly funny, not my words, the Sunday Times. Anyway,
01:07what was I doing? Oh yeah, please welcome Jimmy Carr. An unusual fact about my final
01:16guest is that she has received many accolades during her career. She's been appointed head
01:20of a government task force for maths, she's been involved with the publication of a number
01:24of school textbooks and she's been made Rear of the Year. So I guess you could say of her
01:29achievements that she's got two from the top and one from the bottom. Please welcome Carol
01:33Vorderman. So, this is a show all about extraordinary but slightly odd facts. For example, you can
01:45separate the yolk of an egg from the white using a plastic bottle. Using a plastic bottle?
01:51Using a plastic bottle. Did they just hammer it? I just happen to have some eggs, some plastic bottles here.
01:56So obviously take the lid off, give yourself a fighting chance. Help an old guy. And then, now you get an egg, if you could gently pass them along.
02:02Catch. Don't throw eggs at Jimmy, he'll think he's at a gig. Give that to Carol.
02:09Crack the egg onto the plate, but don't obviously break the yolk. I can never do this. I've got a spare egg, so don't worry.
02:17Turn your bottle upside down. Give it a squeeze, about half way. Put it very gently over the yolk, like that.
02:23No, this is never going to work, is it? Very gently, till it's touching, then release the bottle. Oh my God!
02:27And this is the best bit, you can... Oh, that one's cracked, isn't it? Look, if I go up to Carol...
02:35This is an inferior egg. You can place it wherever you like, I can put it on...
02:40Let's inseminate. There you go. And I go, hang on, I'll have that one back, thank you very much.
02:45No, I want yours. There you go, you can have mine, because yours cracked. You could just do this all day, couldn't you?
02:53It's great, isn't it? There's always one. I'm going to keep doing this, if I may.
03:12OK, let's get on with the game. The first round is really easy. All the guests have brought in a fact that they really love, but who's his best?
03:19It's time for round one. Fact off.
03:25OK, you're up, Jimmy, let's see your facts. What have you got? OK, here's a fascinating fact.
03:29The more a swimming pool smells of chlorine, the dirtier it is. Right. A fact! That's a fact.
03:37So, the more it smells of chlorine... You know when you walk into a busy municipal pool and it really hits you, that chlorine smell?
03:42And your eyes start to water. OK, that is not the chlorine that you're smelling. What are you smelling?
03:47Chlorine basically reacts with the impurities and it creates a thing called a chloramine.
03:52So, basically, when you smell chlorine, what you're really smelling is... What? Oh, I see what you mean.
03:58Fecal matter and pee in the water.
04:02So, does chlorine react with wee? I thought wee was sort of sterile and good for you in a sense.
04:08Have you been drinking your own wee? Have you been drinking... Are you one of these crazy ladies?
04:14Because I read a thing that said that drinking your own urine is meant to be good for you.
04:18Bullshit. I put my back out.
04:26I think this is just one of those kind of urban myths like alligators in the sewers of New York.
04:31Are you telling me that's not true? Another urban myth.
04:35A bit like the smell of chlorine in a swimming pool being caused by urine and fecal matter.
04:42When you get too much chlorine in a swimming pool, for instance.
04:44It's because the people who are maintaining the swimming pool are putting in too much chlorine.
04:49They haven't got the correct scientific chemical balance in the swimming pool.
04:54The PSI is not correct in the pool.
04:57That's not how you spend this. And the pH.
05:03I'm watching you now.
05:05My little boy, when he was two, I took him to a swimming pool.
05:09You know that really posh hotel round the corner from here? Clifton?
05:11Yes, indeed.
05:13And it's a beautiful little swimming pool.
05:15I thought you were going to say, I'll meet you there at midnight.
05:20My two-year-old had his nappy on and had a little bit of an accident.
05:24Now, I don't know if you've ever taken a two-year-old with a nappy in a swimming pool.
05:28But it doesn't contain it very well.
05:30And I didn't notice a sudden increase in the smell of chlorine in the atmosphere.
05:37My husband had to go gathering the evidence.
05:40He shouldn't have been gathering it like that.
05:45So that's what the guests think. It's time to see if the facts stand up.
05:48Take a look at the experiments.
05:58Everyone loves to play in the swimming pool.
06:01Mum and Dad, the kids, even Grandma.
06:05There is a drawback, sometimes an overpowering smell of chlorine.
06:09But is it really true that a strong smell of chlorine means that someone's weeding the pool?
06:17Let's ask an expert.
06:19When you're at a swimming pool, you often smell that strong chlorine smell.
06:23Well, it's not actually chlorine.
06:25It's the product of the reaction between chlorine and contaminants in the pool,
06:29which come from sweat and urine.
06:33When the chlorine in the pool encounters a contaminant,
06:35it produces a volatile compound called chloramine,
06:39which has a very distinctive smell.
06:41The stronger the smell, the more likely the pool is to be contaminated.
06:46Time to test the theory.
06:49We needed volunteers with a finely tuned sense of smell.
06:55Meet John Dowd's master of wine,
06:58professional perfumer Mohammed Jamal,
07:01and world-class barista Courtney Snowden.
07:04For our first test, we have two identical pools
07:07containing exactly the same amount of chlorine.
07:10But into one, we're going to put a little urine
07:14and some medical-grade poo.
07:20The chlorine in our test pool should now go to work,
07:23attacking the contaminants,
07:25and in doing so, releasing the strong-smelling chloramines
07:29that we recognise as the smell of chlorine.
07:32But will our world-class noses really be able to tell
07:36which pool has been contaminated?
07:39First, a quick dip in the clean pool.
07:46It stays on the skin a little bit.
07:48Yeah, definitely.
07:50But it's not a horrible smell.
07:52It's not much there. It's quite subtle, but it's still there.
07:55It's fresh. The feel is light.
07:58Definitely low levels of chlorine.
08:03But what will they make of our contaminated pool?
08:08Will it really have a stronger smell of chlorine?
08:19Definitely a lot more pungent.
08:21Yeah, this is very pungent. It envelops you.
08:24Hits you right at the back of the throat.
08:28Not very pleasant.
08:30Of the two pools, I think this one is contaminated.
08:33Well, I'm ready to get out.
08:35Let's get out of here.
08:37So it is true.
08:39Contaminated pools have a stronger smell of chlorine.
08:42But does the theory work in the real world?
08:45To test this, we collected samples
08:48from ten different swimming pools.
08:51We then tested our pool samples for levels of contamination.
08:56Five of our samples came back clean, which is nice.
08:59Four had low levels of contamination.
09:02But one sample contained relatively high levels,
09:05including the bacteria found in, you guessed it, human feces.
09:10The question is, does the pool water containing human feces
09:14smell strongest of chlorine?
09:16We know just the people to ask.
09:19Our experts are arranging the pool water samples
09:22according to smell.
09:24Weakest on the left, strongest on the right.
09:29It's got a warm atmosphere to this one.
09:32Smells like tadpole water.
09:34Yeah.
09:36You'll be tasting it then.
09:38Everyone happy with that?
09:40Yes.
09:42So where's the sample containing the human feces?
09:45Bingo.
09:47Our experts correctly identified the five clean samples
09:52and the four lightly contaminated samples
09:55just by using their noses.
09:57Pretty impressive.
09:59So there you have it.
10:01Next time you're in a local pool
10:03and are hit by a strong smell of chlorine,
10:06well, has Granny had a little accident again?
10:12Would you like to just take a moment to apologise?
10:15I knew that all the time.
10:17I just wanted to test you.
10:20I've seen swimming for people now.
10:22When they get into a pool and smell chlorine,
10:24they'll go, I know what's happened here.
10:26There's been a brown shark in this pool.
10:28Swimming is ruined anyway, isn't it, when you're a family?
10:31You just can't relax anymore.
10:33I find it embarrassing being the family
10:36that is responsible for the poo in the pool.
10:39It's so embarrassing that we've had to start taking the kids.
10:42Someone to blame.
10:44Could I ask for the level of this programme
10:47to be raised a little bit?
10:50So far we've talked about nothing but...
10:54I'll try and raise the level of the show
10:56but it's a bit late for recasting.
10:58You won't be leaving us, will you?
11:08We're going to score it.
11:10Sir Terry and Carol, based on what you've seen on a scale of 1-10,
11:13how amazing is that fact, Sir Terry?
11:15As I say, I cast a little doubt on it
11:17but that was just to test Jimbo here.
11:20All alone, a good 7 out of 10.
11:22That's a pretty decent start to the evening.
11:247 out of 10, Carol?
11:26I think that's a pretty amazing fact, actually,
11:28because I'm not going anywhere near a swimming class again.
11:31I'm giving him a 9.
11:33You're giving him a 9? A big old 9.
11:35None of you are coming to my swimming pool, I'll tell you that.
11:38Sir Terry, I don't want to be rude
11:40but your swimming pool, does it have a special door on the side
11:43so you can get in when it fills up?
11:50So, I get to score as well. I'm going to give him an 8.
11:53So, let's add all that up and see what you've got, Jimmy.
11:55I'm waiting for the results.
11:57Jimmy Carr, you're in the lead. 24 points.
11:59Come on!
12:05So, we've heard from Jimmy. See you after the break
12:07when Sir Terry Wogan will be telling us his favourite ever fact.
12:14Welcome back to Duck, Quack, Stone, Echo,
12:16the show that goes to incredible lengths to prove incredible facts.
12:19We're joined by Sir Terry Wogan, Carol Vorderman and Jimmy Carr
12:22or to give them their proper titles,
12:24Sir Terry Wogan, Carol Vorderman MBE and Jimmy Carr.
12:32Before the break, Jimmy scored 24 points with his revelation
12:35that the more a swimming pool smells of chlorine,
12:37the more poo it has in it.
12:39Next up, Sir Terry Wogan, please tell us your fact.
12:42I certainly will.
12:44My fact is you can survive a 20-foot drop
12:48in 75 metres of bubble wrap.
12:51If you're wrapped in 75 metres of bubble wrap...
12:54That's a lot.
12:56..of your friendly, poppable bubble wrap...
12:58But then you can drop 20 foot.
13:00You come 20 feet...
13:02I find that extraordinary.
13:04There's a thing called terminal velocity
13:06and I imagine you reach that within 20 foot, don't you?
13:08I'm sorry, I was a classic student.
13:10All I ever did was Latin and Greek and English literature.
13:13I know nothing of the science.
13:15All I know is that
13:18if you're wrapped in 75 metres of bubble wrap,
13:20you can fling yourself off...
13:22I just had pictures of a young child 20 feet up,
13:24just about to fall, and the last thing he hears,
13:26he goes, I know nothing of the science.
13:30Sir Terry and Sir Wogan,
13:3220 feet is a long way up.
13:3420 feet...
13:36You can damage a lot of things.
13:38It is not a long way up if you're wrapped in 75 metres...
13:40Here's another point for you.
13:42It's still a long way up.
13:44Sir Terry, if this is proven, OK, if this is true,
13:47is there a chance in the future
13:49we will no longer have a parachute regiment,
13:51we will have a bubble wrap regiment?
13:53Because if there is a bubble wrap regiment,
13:55I am signing up.
13:59You can't possibly...
14:01I don't think there's a way to test this
14:03because in order to test it,
14:05you'd have to get someone to jump off 20 foot in bubble wrap.
14:07It's going to be that stupid.
14:09You can't do it.
14:11Well...
14:13Sir Terry, if you do this,
14:16there's no way you're going to survive.
14:18But what a way to go.
14:20It's going to be amazing.
14:22Nothing would give me greater pleasure
14:24than to be wrapped
14:26in the bubble wrap,
14:2875 metres of it,
14:30and fling myself off a 20 feet drop.
14:32Unfortunately...
14:34Oh, here we go.
14:36I made a promise to my mother many years ago.
14:40What, not to drop off a 20 foot drop
14:42in 75 foot of bubble wrap?
14:44That's a real conversation.
14:46So that's what Sir Terry thinks,
14:48but let's see the science behind
14:50the amazing properties of bubble wrap.
14:52When you cover something in layers of bubble wrap,
14:54it provides enough cushioning
14:56to keep fragile items safe
14:58from potentially damaging blows.
15:00Bubble wrap is made up of sheets of plastic
15:02filled with hundreds of little air pockets.
15:06These regularly spaced,
15:08protruding air-filled domes,
15:10or bubbles,
15:13move evenly across their surface area.
15:15This is known as dissipation,
15:17and in the case of bubble wrap,
15:19provides the perfect cushioning for fragile items.
15:21The more bubble wrap used,
15:23the greater the energy that can be absorbed.
15:27Based on this principle,
15:29you can protect anything,
15:31no matter how big the object
15:33or how hard the blow,
15:35as long as you use enough bubble wrap.
15:37Now,
15:39before we start dropping people
15:42we should probably do a control test.
15:44In other words, let's see what happens
15:46if we dropped someone without the bubble wrap.
15:48Good idea.
15:50Are you going to do it?
15:52Now, you'll be pleased to hear that neither of us have to do it
15:54because this is our crash test dummy up there.
15:56Sir Terry, if you'd like to take this cord,
15:58I'll count you in.
16:00I'm ready.
16:02Three, two, one. Pull the cord.
16:06Well,
16:08that worked.
16:11Well, that's a shame.
16:13He was looking forward to starting his new job
16:15in the shop at Dorothy Perkins next week.
16:17Now,
16:19OK, we obviously can't make you do it, Sir Terry.
16:21We could never get away with dropping a national treasure
16:23from the ceiling,
16:25so it's time to get in a professional.
16:27Please welcome stuntman Andy Wareham.
16:33Marvellous.
16:37Are you all right, Andy?
16:40I'd kiss you, but I can't get past this.
16:44Do you know the good thing about this?
16:46After the show, we won't have to get him a taxi home,
16:48we can just post him.
16:50You all right in there?
16:52Yes, a little toasty.
16:54You look like the worst world superhero.
16:56Well packaged, man.
16:58Actually, that's quite a good thing to be, isn't it?
17:00I'm well packaged, man.
17:04Andy, are you ready for the winching?
17:06I'm ready.
17:08Are you ready for the winching?
17:10I bet he won't even bounce.
17:16It's going to be disappointing, isn't it?
17:18The poor man's in there terrified
17:20and all he's hearing is,
17:22I bet he doesn't even bounce.
17:24Go on, do a little pop.
17:26Just worry him.
17:28That's what he wants to hear.
17:30Yeah, you'll be fine.
17:32Don't worry, we're just popping a few of these.
17:34Oh, hello.
17:37OK, let's start the winching.
17:41OK, Terry, now...
17:43I'm genuinely nervous here.
17:45Is anyone else as nervous as me?
17:47He, Lee, is as nervous as you.
17:49OK, so Terry...
17:51Yes?
17:53Now, remember what you did to that mannequin?
17:55Here we go, I'm going to count you in.
17:57OK.
17:59OK, please let this work.
18:01I'm starting to think that joke about popping the bubbles now,
18:03we might have gone a bit too far.
18:06I'm going to count you in and you pull the rope.
18:08Here we go.
18:10Three, two, one, go!
18:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:24So, Terry, you were right.
18:26You can survive a 20-foot drop
18:28if you are wrapped in 75 metres
18:30of bubble wrap.
18:32And let's hear it for Andy Warhol!
18:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:41What do we think?
18:43I was genuinely nervous there, I genuinely thought,
18:45wow, I'll be talking about this for years in interviews.
18:47What about the time the stuntman died?
18:49OK, so we've tested Sir Terry's fat,
18:51but how impressed were you?
18:53Marks out of ten, please, Jimmy.
18:55I think I'm going to have to give that a ten.
18:57It's a fabulous fact, ten out of ten, I love it.
18:59Carol?
19:01I'm going for the big ten.
19:04I was deeply impressed with that.
19:06I'd love to see the footage of his little camera on his helmet.
19:08I know, that's good, that's good.
19:10Later, my dear.
19:12LAUGHTER
19:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:18You play it smart, but there's a master amongst us.
19:20Oh, steady.
19:22And well done, Sir Terry, for finally raising that bar
19:24you told me about.
19:26LAUGHTER
19:28Well, I thought it was fantastic, I was amazed.
19:30I'm not going to give it the full ten.
19:32I was very impressed with the fat.
19:34I would like to have seen him go a little bit higher
19:36and perhaps face down.
19:38I'm going to give it seven points.
19:40Seven?
19:42Let's add that up and see what it puts you on the leaderboard.
19:44Ten and ten and seven.
19:46What we need is a maths expert.
19:48Sir Terry Wogan, you're on 27 points.
19:50APPLAUSE
19:56And now, last but by no means least,
19:58let's hear what Carol's fact is.
20:01In fact, women are superior
20:03at remembering roots.
20:05Not roots as in the ground,
20:07but roots as in getting from A to B
20:09to C to D to the...
20:11Sorry, are you thinking of women or...
20:13You know the lady that does the sat-nav voice
20:15isn't a real woman?
20:17You can't count her towards the average.
20:19No, she is.
20:21And that's why, you see, it's better that it's a female voice.
20:23Because women are superior
20:25at remembering roots.
20:27Surely the nature of observational comedy
20:30is to say that women aren't good at directions.
20:32Yes, exactly.
20:34Men are terrible at stopping and asking for directions.
20:36Of course, we wouldn't have to
20:38if you could read a fucking map.
20:40LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
20:42But I'll put my hand up for that.
20:48This is based on
20:50evolutionary evidence.
20:52The men were the hunters
20:54and the women
20:56were the gatherers.
20:59So they would have to remember
21:01where those groups of plants would grow.
21:03So they would use landmarks
21:05in their primitive brains
21:07to remember the roots to get to that.
21:09Well, I'm doubtful about this fact.
21:11I mean, it's true,
21:13there must be some amazing women
21:15bringing up the average
21:17because my wife cannot find the car
21:19in the bloody front drive.
21:21OK, you've heard our views,
21:23but join us after the break
21:25to see us put the fact to the test.
21:28APPLAUSE
21:30Welcome back to Duck, Wax, Don't Echo,
21:32the show that has the answers to the questions
21:34you never even asked.
21:36Before the break, Carol Vorderman told us
21:38that women are better at remembering routes.
21:40Now, we've all said what we think,
21:42but we have to know for sure,
21:44so we put it to the test.
21:48For years, couples have argued
21:50about each other's sense of direction.
21:52But has there been
21:54a clear battle winner all this time?
21:56These studies indicate something
21:58that we've known for a long time,
22:00which is that women's experience
22:02as food gatherers
22:04gave them a different set of skills
22:06than men's experience as hunters.
22:08A recent study looked
22:10at a group of men and women
22:12from a village in Mexico
22:14who were sent to gather mushrooms.
22:16The women expended far less energy
22:18because they remembered where they were going
22:20by using landmarks,
22:22and they retraced their paths
22:25So, with that in mind,
22:27it was time for our experiment team
22:29to pack their bags
22:31and put it to the test.
22:35Unfortunately,
22:37we didn't travel to a beautiful village
22:39in Mexico.
22:41We went, just outside London,
22:43to Gatwick.
22:45In our variation on the experiment,
22:47we took a group of five women
22:49and five men to an unfamiliar area.
22:51We drove the group round
22:54giving them a chance
22:56to become familiar with the route.
22:58If they stick to the route shown to them,
23:00then they should get back
23:02to their start position
23:04in the quickest time.
23:06Each member has to adhere
23:08to the strict speed limit
23:10of 30 miles per hour.
23:12The team with the best average score
23:14will be the winner.
23:16First, let's see how the women did.
23:18The girls got off to a great start
23:20using local landmarks
23:23Although they showed
23:25impressive route skills,
23:27the girls' driving abilities
23:29were a different matter entirely.
23:41At the last moment,
23:43driver number four made an error
23:45at the final turning.
23:49But she quickly got back on track.
23:53Yeah, right, right, right, right.
23:57I think I've got this, yes!
23:59And then it's driver number...
24:03Well, that was easy.
24:05From this map, we can see
24:07the routes the women took.
24:09With just one mistake between them,
24:11they came back with an average time
24:13of 5 minutes and 57 seconds.
24:15Next, it was time for the men.
24:19Let's find out
24:22if they were paying any attention
24:24to the route they were shown.
24:28OK, Stig, eat your heart out.
24:34It didn't take long
24:36for driver number one
24:38to take a wrong turn,
24:40adding precious seconds
24:42to his final time.
24:44I don't think it went right there.
24:46No, it wasn't, I don't think.
24:48Oh, yes, it was.
24:50Yes, Parkhurst.
24:52Parkhurst Road, I remember this one.
24:54No mistakes so far
24:56for cars two and three,
24:58but driver number four
25:00is showing serious signs of doubt.
25:02It wasn't down that way.
25:06I thought it was straight.
25:10Oh, God.
25:12Have I made a mistake?
25:14Oh, no.
25:16No, there's the mini roundabout.
25:19I actually don't remember this
25:21because I don't think I was paying attention
25:23to this bit, but I know it's right.
25:25And from then on, it just gets worse
25:27as driver number four
25:29goes completely off course.
25:31I've gone the wrong way.
25:33We're not going to beat us
25:35at this rate.
25:39Right, I'm back.
25:41One silly mistake
25:43and I'm absolutely gutted.
25:45From the map, we can see the routes
25:48and we can see the mistakes they made.
25:50The men's total average time
25:52was six minutes, ten seconds,
25:54so the girls' average time
25:56was faster.
25:58There you have it.
26:00When it comes to remembering routes,
26:02the superior sex are women.
26:10I'll tell you why.
26:12Thank you.
26:14I'll tell you why.
26:17The women went first because we're lovely.
26:19They all had a go in their cars.
26:21It's a half an hour later, then the men went out.
26:23I think the guys just had longer sitting around
26:25to forget the routes.
26:27I've got some very bad news for you, Jimmy.
26:29The men actually went first
26:31and that's just the way it was edited.
26:33Genuinely.
26:35No, I have another...
26:37No, I have another...
26:39That's the way it was edited.
26:41I've sort of lost my train of thought.
26:43Maybe I need a woman.
26:46It was a man that drove the minibus.
26:48It was a man that drove the minibus. Excellent.
26:50It was a man...
26:52Thank you, sir.
26:54We work together as a team.
26:56I've got some very shocking news for you.
26:58That was a very ugly woman.
27:00I'm very sorry, madam,
27:02but it was a man that drove the minibus.
27:04APPLAUSE
27:12So, what do you think, sir?
27:14I don't think you can argue.
27:16I think the facts are there to be seen.
27:18I don't accept them.
27:20LAUGHTER
27:22I don't like them.
27:24But I like you.
27:26And for that, I'm going to give you
27:28an eight.
27:30Eight! Fantastic.
27:33Can I just make a point here on the scoring?
27:35I'm saying women are superior at something
27:37and there are three men scoring this.
27:39I think that's a handicap.
27:41Don't you, girls?
27:43And I think for every score,
27:45I should have an additional point.
27:47So you're happy to be patronised, then?
27:49LAUGHTER
27:51Jimmy?
27:53Two?
27:55LAUGHTER
27:57APPLAUSE
28:00Oh, no.
28:02No, no, no, but you get an extra one.
28:04You get three.
28:06Terrific. You must be pleased.
28:08I'm going to give you
28:10a six.
28:12No, I'm not. I'm going to give you a seven.
28:14A seven? Yeah, because I think the facts...
28:16Is that an eight, really?
28:18I'll give you a seven. No, it was a six, really,
28:20but I added the one on.
28:22So I'm going to give you a seven. Let's add that all up.
28:24See where that puts you on the leaderboard. Carol?
28:26At the bottom. Pardon? What?
28:29Carol Vorderman,
28:31you're at the bottom with 18 points.
28:33APPLAUSE
28:35Sir Terry is storming ahead with 27 points,
28:37but that could all change in our next round.
28:39Oh, really? It's a chance for our guests to pick up extra points.
28:41So let's move on to our next round,
28:43Fact Finder.
28:45APPLAUSE
28:47Yes, it's not just my guests
28:49who have brought in facts, we've also asked our studio audience
28:51to bring in theirs. We've had a look at them
28:53and during the break, Sir Terry, Jimmy and Carol
28:55have tried to find the one fact that they think
28:57is the best and will win them the most points.
28:59Right, Sir Terry Wogan, which member of the audience
29:01did you think brought in the best fact?
29:03I picked an extremely intelligent
29:05and highly attractive person called
29:07Clare Company. Where are you, Clare Company?
29:09Stand up, Clare. Would you care to stand?
29:11If you don't mind, thank you.
29:13And where are you from, Clare? Armbrough.
29:15Tell us your amazing fact, Clare.
29:17If you rub onions on your feet,
29:19you'll be able to taste it 30 to
29:2160 minutes later.
29:23If you rub onions on your feet,
29:25you'll be able to taste it in your mouth
29:2730 to 60 minutes later.
29:29Yeah, if you lick your feet.
29:31LAUGHTER
29:33Onion is a very pungent flavour.
29:35It permeates up through the foot.
29:37Oh, it actually travels through your body?
29:39Well, how's it going to get to your mouth otherwise?
29:41Oh, yes, I'm the ridiculous one.
29:43LAUGHTER
29:45What an admission.
29:47You were saying between 30 and 60 minutes,
29:49but within 15 minutes it's hit the...
29:51The nether regions.
29:53Yeah.
29:55Yeah, but stop eating from there.
29:57That's going to make your balls cry.
29:59You don't think...
30:01That's what I call it, anyway.
30:03I'm still a bit immature about my love life.
30:05Oh, I love me balls have started crying again.
30:07LAUGHTER
30:09Clare, can I ask a question?
30:11Have you tried this?
30:13I've not, no, but I have heard...
30:15Oh, you've heard it?
30:17It must be true. Who did you hear of?
30:19Was it an alcoholic?
30:21No, it was someone who had halitosis and said,
30:23no, I have brushed me teeth,
30:25I just accidentally rubbed onions on me feet.
30:27LAUGHTER
30:29So that's what we all think of Sir Terry's chosen audience fact,
30:31but obviously we couldn't test all these facts,
30:33so instead we have a special panel of boffins.
30:35So, please welcome rocket scientist Dr Simon Foster,
30:37expert in cell biology and genetics Dr Emily Grossman,
30:39and chemical engineer David Wharton.
30:41It's our Verifiers!
30:43APPLAUSE
30:45So, are we all right, Verifiers?
30:47Very well, thanks.
30:49The big question is, is there any truth in this?
30:51Well, the skin is there to keep stuff out.
30:53It's a layer of dead cells all around the body,
30:55and it's very difficult to absorb stuff through your skin.
30:57That's what it's for, to keep it out.
30:59We do put on nicotine patches, or pain-relieving gel.
31:01That can be absorbed, but very, very slowly,
31:03and in order for that to happen,
31:05the pain-relieving gel, or the nicotine,
31:07has to be absorbed very, very slowly,
31:09and it's very difficult to absorb stuff
31:11through your skin.
31:13So, the pain-relieving gel, or the nicotine,
31:15has to be what we call a lipophile.
31:17It latches onto fat cells that are inside the body.
31:19Now, there are very few lipophiles
31:21inside an onion.
31:23So, if it does absorb anything...
31:25Sorry, that's my favourite phrase of the night.
31:27LAUGHTER
31:29If you've learned nothing tonight,
31:31you'll go on and go,
31:33you know there's very few lipophiles in an onion, don't you?
31:35LAUGHTER
31:37Sorry, I'm lost, where are we?
31:39LAUGHTER
31:41Please, can you just say that phrase again?
31:43Because I loved it.
31:45OK, there are very few lipophiles in an onion.
31:47He's got a catchphrase now.
31:49What are the very few lipophiles in?
31:51LAUGHTER
31:53Out of interest, lipophiles,
31:55are they allowed to live near schools?
31:57LAUGHTER
31:59APPLAUSE
32:03Sorry, sorry, David.
32:05Right, they need to stick to fats,
32:07and they're called lipophiles,
32:09because lipophiles are fats,
32:11and there are very few lipophiles inside an onion.
32:13So, if anything is absorbed, it's minuscule amounts,
32:15and will take a very long time.
32:17Too small to make any effect.
32:19APPLAUSE
32:23OK, we'll score it at the end, once we've heard everyone's facts.
32:25I think you're right, Clare.
32:27OK, your turn, Jimmy.
32:29Whose facts have you chosen?
32:31OK, I've chosen... It's Jill Smith.
32:33Is there a Jill Smith? Where are you, Jill?
32:35Could you stand up for us, Jill?
32:37And what do you do, Jill?
32:39I... I mean, do you know?
32:41LAUGHTER
32:43I sell jewellery on the internet. You sell what?
32:45Jewellery on the internet. You sell stolen jewellery?
32:47LAUGHTER
32:49You sell jewellery on the internet?
32:51Do you make this jewellery? No.
32:53Where do you get it from?
32:55I buy it from wholesalers and abroad.
32:57Why don't they sell it on the internet?
32:59They do. Oh, do they?
33:01Yeah, I'm just cheaper.
33:03Why are they selling it at a more expensive price than you?
33:05Sorry, can we just forget the show?
33:07I want to get this business thing sorted out.
33:09This sounds like bonkers.
33:11I will give you £5 for 50% of the company.
33:13LAUGHTER
33:15Now this works.
33:17APPLAUSE
33:21Tell us a fact, Jill.
33:23Black cab drivers have more developed brains than the rest of us.
33:25Do you mean that black cab drivers,
33:27because of their job,
33:29then have more developed brains,
33:31or people with more developed brains are attracted to cab driving?
33:33Oh, I don't know which one that means.
33:35LAUGHTER
33:37Black cab drivers have more developed brains
33:39because they are cab drivers.
33:41Oh, I see, so they go in there with averagely developed brains,
33:43do some cab driving...
33:45Yes, learn the knowledge and the routes,
33:47and develop their brains, and it becomes...
33:49I think this is a great fact, because it means
33:51your mind is like a muscle, and if you work it, it gets stronger.
33:53Are you related to a taxi driver?
33:55No.
33:57Do you know any taxi drivers?
33:59No.
34:01Where are you getting this information from?
34:03I heard it on the radio once.
34:05Once on the radio?
34:07It sounds like a terrible lyric to a song.
34:09LAUGHTER
34:11OK, Verifiers,
34:13I'm going to have to ask, what do we think of this?
34:15Well, this is actually true,
34:17and there's a part of the brain which is a little seahorse-shaped part,
34:19which is called the hippocampus,
34:21and unsurprisingly, it's responsible
34:23for navigation and map reading.
34:25Sorry, what's it called? The hippocampus.
34:27The hippocampus, so this is where hippos go to university.
34:29LAUGHTER
34:31So, anyway, through doing the knowledge,
34:33they've got to learn all these different routes
34:35and tens of thousands of streets and cities around London.
34:37This part of the brain may be like a muscle,
34:39and the more you use it,
34:41and the more you test it out, the bigger it can get.
34:43So, you're saying this is a true fact?
34:45It's true.
34:47Well, that's amazing. I'm really impressed.
34:49That's incredible.
34:51Stanley, your turn.
34:53OK, well, I've chosen a lady who has a fascinating fact.
34:55Rosie Short.
34:57Rosie Short, where are you, Rosie?
34:59Rosie Short, that is a great name.
35:01Where are you from, Rosie?
35:03From Buckinghamshire.
35:05And what do you do?
35:07Unemployed at the minute, student.
35:09You're unemployed and you're a student.
35:11That suggests that students don't do anything.
35:13LAUGHTER
35:15Let's go with student.
35:17Go again, just say student.
35:19So, what do you do?
35:21I'm a student.
35:23I bet she doesn't do anything.
35:25APPLAUSE
35:29What's your fact?
35:31Your nipples are the same colour as your lips.
35:33Mine?
35:35My nipples are the same colour as my lips.
35:37How do you know?
35:39You mean they're exactly the same colour?
35:41I believe so, that's what I've been told.
35:43Oh, no, you've got lipstick on, so you can't.
35:45Right, I'll put some lipstick on your nipples.
35:47LAUGHTER
35:49Done.
35:51I'm just saying we should have a little...
35:53If my nipples were the same colour as my lips,
35:55then they would be the same as my lips.
35:57Have you ever noticed?
35:59Have I ever noticed?
36:01The colour of your nipples.
36:03I've never noticed I had nipples.
36:05You've never noticed you had nipples?
36:07I'm pretty sure I don't.
36:09No, well, you don't, you were made.
36:11I look like an action man, you haven't got any genitalia.
36:13Well, I think we need to go to experts on this.
36:15We need to find out, verifiers.
36:17No, it's not true that they will always be the same colour.
36:19However, it is quite likely that they will be a similar colour
36:21because they're both related to skin tone.
36:23The darker your skin tone,
36:25the more of the pigment cells that release melanin there are
36:27in the skin lip covering,
36:29so it masks the colour of the red blood vessels,
36:31so they look a little bit darker.
36:33Sorry, can I just stop you there?
36:35Are we going to see your nipples or not?
36:37LAUGHTER
36:39I was waiting for that.
36:41APPLAUSE
36:43Oh, no.
36:45No.
36:47Some trouble at Gloucester.
36:49The way, though, is that it's different,
36:51the way that the nipples are coloured is different to the lip tone
36:53because that's due to the balance of two different pigments
36:57and the balance of those is controlled by your genes,
36:59but the darker your skin,
37:01the more likely you have a higher level of the brown one,
37:03giving you more brown nipples,
37:05and the paler your skin,
37:07you've got a higher level of the red one,
37:09giving you pink nipples.
37:11LAUGHTER
37:15So we've heard whether the facts are true,
37:17and whether the verifiers give them.
37:19After the break, we'll be finding out
37:21whether Sir Terry, Jimmy or Carol back the best fact
37:23and will be crowned tonight's Duck Quacks Don't Echo champion.
37:25APPLAUSE
37:31Welcome back.
37:33Before the break, each of our celebrity guests
37:35chose their favourite fact from the audience.
37:37We found out whether each fact is true,
37:39but who will get the most points from our verifiers
37:41and win tonight's show? Let's find out.
37:43Sir Terry, remind us of your chosen fact.
37:45You will taste it in 30 to 60 minutes.
37:47Well, verifiers, what score are you going to give that?
37:51Well, we could only give that one two points.
37:53You can indeed smell them, but it's coming through your hands,
37:55just like any other smell that you've happened to have had on your hands.
37:59Careful, careful. So we can only give you two points for that one.
38:01OK, so we're going to give that two points.
38:03That's quite harsh.
38:05Don't know about you, Clare, but I don't like him much.
38:08LAUGHTER
38:10OK, Jimmy, remind us of the fact you backed.
38:12I backed Jill's fact, Jill Smith's fact.
38:14Black cab drivers have got more developed brains than the rest of us.
38:18It's a great fact. Verifiers?
38:20Well, seeing as this is true and my cousin Paul's a cabbie,
38:23he'd kill me unless I gave a good mark,
38:25so we are going to give this eight.
38:27Ooh, eight points. That's good. Skills.
38:29And finally, Carol, which fact did you go for?
38:31I went with our lovely Rosie Short, and she had a fabulous fact,
38:35which is your nipples are the same colour as your lips.
38:39Verifiers?
38:40Well, it's kind of true,
38:43but there's huge variation and, in fact,
38:45your nipples can even change colour during your lifetime,
38:47during, like, pregnancy and ageing.
38:49So it's not always going to be the case that they're the same colour.
38:51In fact, there's some people with very big variations.
38:54So we're only going to give five points.
38:56So let's put all of that onto the leaderboard
38:58and see how it's affected the final score.
39:01In third place, Carol Vorderman, second place is Terry Weldon,
39:04but tonight's winner with 32 points, it's Jimmy Carr.
39:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:10Jimmy, well done.
39:15Well done, Jimmy.
39:16You've won tonight's Star Prize,
39:18the chance to prove a fact of my very own.
39:21So here is my fact.
39:23If you drop a heavy object in front of your face attached to a rope,
39:26it will never hit you when it swings back.
39:31So let's test out Matt's fact.
39:36So, for this fact, we're going to prove
39:38that if you drop a heavy object, like this bowling ball,
39:41directly in front of your face,
39:43it will never hit you when it swings back.
39:46But first...
39:47Why? Why would...? Can I get some bubble wrap?
39:50But first, we both need to go off
39:52and get changed into our experiment suits.
39:54It's a bit like when we had that date the other night.
39:56And whilst we're getting changed,
39:57here's the science behind the fact from Dr Simon Foster.
40:00So this is thanks to a principle of physics
40:02called the conservation of energy,
40:04and it means you can't get more energy out of a system than you put in.
40:07So if the bowling ball's in front of your face and you let go,
40:10it's got gravitational potential energy,
40:12and that becomes moving energy,
40:14or kinetic energy, as scientists call it.
40:16As it gets to the other side,
40:18that kinetic energy becomes gravitational potential energy again,
40:21and then it moves the other way, and the system happens in reverse.
40:24Now, this means the best it can do
40:26is return to the original starting point.
40:29So hopefully, this will literally save face.
40:33OK, Dr Foster, why don't you come over here
40:36and show us what you need.
40:38So, explain away.
40:40So here we have our bowling ball pendulum,
40:42and it doesn't matter on the size, shape or weight of the object,
40:45it'll work for everything.
40:46So as I pull it out, I'm putting energy into the system I'm doing work,
40:49and so if I drag it out here,
40:51when I release it, it's going to go and that energy's gone out.
40:54And just like a battery, you can't get more energy out than you put in.
40:57So hopefully, it shouldn't go beyond the point at which it was released.
41:01Dr Simon, I'll take it from here. Dr Simon, ladies and gentlemen.
41:07That was fine for a warm-up, if the science is real.
41:10It doesn't really matter what we attach the rope to, does it?
41:13Because you don't want a bowling ball, that could really hurt you, couldn't it?
41:16Let's replace that bowling ball with an anvil.
41:24And to make it a bit more interesting, let's stand next to these boards over here.
41:27OK, perfect. OK.
41:29Can I give you that card?
41:30Right. Now, I think... No, you stand on that one.
41:33Apparently, that's the more dangerous one.
41:36I'm going to stand here.
41:37Can you smell chlorine?
41:44All right, you ready, Jimmy?
41:46No.
41:47Is there anything you'd like to say to your family or anything before we do it?
41:51Goodbye.
41:54OK. Now, lads, lads, can I just say...
41:57It's not as frightening as I thought it was going to be. It's actually OK.
42:01Hang on, that's a bit close, isn't it? I've got a bigger nose than him.
42:04Right, on the count down, here we go.
42:06Three, two, one.
42:09OK, go.
42:10Oh!
42:22I've just had my teeth done.
42:23I imagine my dentist was watching this going,
42:25oh, my God, this could be a new holiday.
42:28To be honest with you, Jim, your teeth look like they could smash the anvil.
42:32So there we have it.
42:33Proof that if you drop a heavy object in front of your face attached to a rope,
42:36it will never hit you when it swings back.
42:42Right, I'm going to give it one more go. Here we go.
42:44Let's try and get it straight.
42:46Load up.
42:47Oh, no, not that close, Jesus.
42:48That's very close.
42:49Three, two, one, go.
42:52OK, I love this guy.
42:53Oh!
42:55Blimey, all righty, that's terrifying.
42:57And that's just about all we have time for,
42:59so a big thank you to our guests Jimmy Carr,
43:01Karen Vorderman and Sir Terry Wogan.
43:04Thank you very much. Good night.
43:16You'll be pleased to hear we've mashed up the best bits of our duck quacks
43:20and condensed them into a swan song.
43:22That's at ten next Friday night here on Sky One HD,
43:26and stay with us, our Moonboys, here next for a catch-up.