Duck Quacks Don't Echo. S02 E03.
First broadcast 15th September 2014.
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Johnny Vegas
Mel Giedroyc
Andrew Flintoff
Craig Revel Horwood
Catherine Douglas
Daniel Richardson
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Johnny Vegas
Mel Giedroyc
Andrew Flintoff
Craig Revel Horwood
Catherine Douglas
Daniel Richardson
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00This is a show where we take a look at weird and wonderful facts, most of which you've
00:26probably never heard before.
00:28This week I asked my guests to bring in their favourite facts, which we then put to the
00:31test and debate whose is best.
00:33So let's see who we've got on the show tonight.
00:35An interesting fact about my first guest is that whilst at college in the 1980s, she experimented
00:40with the steak, egg and prune diet and it actually worked.
00:44She lost four boyfriends.
00:46Please welcome Mel Gainerudge.
00:50A fact about my next guest is that he's been nominated for a Perrier award, won a British
00:57comedy award, been the GQ Comedian of the Year, won an RTS award and has just recently
01:02been named the second most important customer of the year at Greggs.
01:06Please welcome Johnny Vegas.
01:10An interesting fact about my final guest is that he helped win the 2005 Ashes for England,
01:16he's won Sports Personality of the Year, has an MBE, he currently holds 14 Guinness World
01:21Records in aid of sports relief and just recently has been named the most important customer
01:25of the year at Greggs.
01:26Please welcome Freddie Tintoff.
01:32So, let's get started.
01:35For our first round, each of the guests has brought in their favourite facts and we have
01:39to decide whose is best.
01:40It's time for Facts Off.
01:47So Mel, you're up first, let's see your fact.
01:49Right, this is the thing.
01:52Apparently, red-haired people have a higher pain threshold than other people, i.e. people
02:00blonde, brunette or dark-haired.
02:03Ginger-haired people can take the pain.
02:07Is that why Mick Hucknall can listen to his own songs?
02:12Literally, it's true, because when you have pain inflicted on you, your brain gives you
02:18morphine, apparently, or there's some sort of painkiller innate to your body that is
02:23like morphine.
02:24Right.
02:25There's a gene in non-ginger people which sends some protein out which prevents the
02:30morphine from attacking your body.
02:33Doesn't morphine help the body fight pain?
02:36Yes.
02:37So if they have a gene, it stops the morphine coming down?
02:39No, no, no.
02:40What happens is the protein actually...
02:42It's like being in IKEA.
02:43LAUGHTER
02:46All ginger-haired people are basically drug addicts because they can produce their own
02:50morphine.
02:53So, redheads?
02:54Redheads, a la Hucknall, Evans...
02:57I've got a bit of the ginger gene.
02:59Have you?
03:00This doesn't match everywhere.
03:02Really?
03:04Oh, beard, beard!
03:07So you're part ginger?
03:09Part ginger, yeah.
03:10Where did you get it from?
03:12My parents aren't ginger.
03:14So, how do you get the gene, then, if you're not...?
03:16I don't know, I don't know.
03:18This is turning into, like, Jeremy Kyle, isn't it?
03:21I'm going to bring me dad out.
03:24Well, we've all said what we think, but we have to know for sure,
03:27so we put it to the test.
03:34Teased in the playground?
03:36Having to deal with freckles?
03:38Oh, it's tough being a redhead.
03:40But hold on a moment.
03:42If you're a redhead, you may have a higher tolerance to pain.
03:46Let's find out more.
03:48When you experience pain, the brain releases opiates to help you
03:51deal with the pain.
03:53However, usually there's a gene, MC1R, that interferes with how
03:57these opiates dull the pain.
03:59Steady on.
04:00Opiates?
04:01Genes?
04:02MC what?
04:03We're going to need an illustration.
04:05Here's a brunette in pain, and there go the opiates from his
04:08brain, trying to help him deal with it.
04:10However, the MC1R gene prevents these opiates from working
04:14properly, making him hurt more.
04:17This isn't the case with this redhead, because redheads have a
04:20mutant version of the MC1R gene, allowing the opiates to work
04:24unimpeded.
04:27Let's put it to the test.
04:29In order to prove this, we require one group of gingers,
04:33and a control group of all other hair colours,
04:37to carry out three scientific tests.
04:44For the first test, we administered 10-second shocks of
04:47high-voltage electricity through these pads to our control group
04:51of non-gingers.
04:55After each shock, they were given the option to quit or endure
04:58further shocks.
05:01Their total was 19.
05:03Let's see if our gingers can beat it.
05:07At first, the gingers had a similar reaction to that of our
05:11control group.
05:16And it wasn't long before we lost some flamehead competitors.
05:22But as the shocks kept coming, the gingers persevered.
05:27Their shocks totaled a massive 33.
05:30It's 1-0 to the gingers, with two more to go.
05:34The second test is cold tolerance.
05:37The non-gingers were asked to remain in an icy swimming pool
05:41for as long as they could.
05:43Their combined time was 5 minutes, 10 seconds.
05:48Enter the gingers.
05:55When they hit the water, their tolerance seemed no better
05:58than the control group.
06:02But a few key gingers were left, which increased the vital time
06:06for their team.
06:08Eventually, there was only one.
06:11A solitary hero for the whole of ginger kind.
06:15Yes!
06:17Their final time was 6.27.
06:20Time for test three.
06:25Our last experiment saw our control group
06:28Our last experiment saw our control group
06:31standing in the path of high-speed projectiles.
06:35After each impact, they could choose to step closer to the machine
06:39to endure a more intense impact, or to opt out.
06:43The total number of impacts endured by our non-gingers was...
06:4743.
06:49If the gingers managed to beat that total, it'll be 3-0.
06:53In round after round, not a single ginger dropped out,
06:57even though they were taking a sustained pummeling
07:00of high-impact pain.
07:02This was a tour-de-force ginger style,
07:06giving them a total of 60.
07:09This proved conclusively that gingers do indeed have
07:13a higher tolerance for high-speed projectiles.
07:17This proved conclusively that gingers do indeed have
07:21a higher tolerance to pain.
07:24Well done, gingers.
07:34There you go.
07:36What do you reckon?
07:41Jon is still looking a bit doubtful.
07:43Look, you lined up, basically...
07:46People who are all a ginger against a group of other people
07:50who are blondes, you know what I mean?
07:52Dark-haired, fair-haired, who just don't trust each other.
07:55Whereas gingers needed to prove something
07:58beyond being generally mistrusted in society.
08:04I don't think it's genetic, I think it's an attitude.
08:07It's almost a tribal thing, they came together as one.
08:09That one who did the swimming pool?
08:11Yeah, he was great, lovely.
08:13The big lad, the Giacomo model?
08:15Did you see the look in his eyes?
08:17He wasn't right.
08:19He thought that was a speed dating session.
08:23And that the winner got to carry a woman home.
08:26I like the girl next to me, she's getting out,
08:28it doesn't matter, she'll admire me
08:30for having no testicles left at the end of the day.
08:34So that was Mel's fact, now we're going to store it.
08:37Freddie and Jonny, based on what you've seen,
08:39on a scale of one to ten, how amazing is that fact, Freddie?
08:42Seven. Seven? Seven out of ten.
08:45Jonny?
08:47No, I genuinely love you,
08:51but I think it's all down to attitude.
08:54I think it's a gang thing, I think it's tribal.
08:59I do, I do, honestly.
09:01But you saw them.
09:03Yeah, and they all moved up in a line,
09:05like a military formation.
09:07They were quite military, weren't they,
09:09so that is a good point, and if you think about it,
09:11when you watch Planet of the Apes, right,
09:13who are the more military, sort of, more in charge people?
09:16It's the orangutans, isn't it?
09:18No, the orangutans are the scientists.
09:20Oh, the scientists and the lawyers and the doctors.
09:22Yeah, the gorillas.
09:23Well, then they know their science, don't they, then,
09:25so they're very brainy, the orangutans.
09:27Helena Bonham Carter.
09:28Does Helena Bonham Carter play one of Planet of the Apes?
09:30I always thought it was Cheetah that played Helena Bonham Carter.
09:32Is it the other way round?
09:34Cheetah wasn't an ape, oh, Cheetah was an ape.
09:36Cheetah was an ape, no, it was in Tarzan in the 1920s,
09:39and he died three years ago.
09:41Weissmuller, amazing.
09:42Weissmuller died ages ago,
09:43I'm talking about the monkey that lived a long time.
09:45It's a crying shame when a monkey outlives its coaster.
09:53Oh, good on you!
09:55Oh, darling!
09:57Are you afraid?
09:59Both my hands are free.
10:01They're not those sort of comfy stuff?
10:03I don't want to lose my tea bag backing,
10:05since you nicked Jack and all.
10:07What is Jack and all?
10:09Hey, do you want bigger clothes?
10:11I'm thin, tough, I'm thin, but I can sell them anyway.
10:15You're the reason my kid's not going to a private school.
10:20So, have we scored, Johnny?
10:22I'm going to score it down the middle as a five.
10:24Five?
10:25Oh, I'm disappointed.
10:26That's not a lot.
10:27We're all disappointed in that.
10:28We're all disappointed,
10:29some of the ginger ones didn't feel anything.
10:33So, I'm going to give it...
10:35Do you know what I'm going to give it?
10:37An eight.
10:38Don't tell me what I'm going to give it.
10:40I'm going to give it an eight.
10:41Let's sign up and see what we've got.
10:43Mel Giedrich has got 20 points.
10:45Thank you.
10:48So, we've heard from Mel after the great Freddy Flintoff
10:51will try and outdo her with his own favourite fact.
10:53Don't go away.
11:05Welcome back to Duck, Quack, Stone, Echo,
11:07the show all about incredible and unlikely facts.
11:09With me tonight are Mel Giedrich, Freddy Flintoff and Johnny Vegas.
11:16Before the break, Mel scored 20 points with her fact
11:19that natural redheads have a higher pain tolerance
11:21than people of other hair colour.
11:23Freddy, you're up next.
11:24What's your fact?
11:25Mine's about cows.
11:27Of course it is.
11:28Obviously.
11:29Cows with names... Yeah.
11:31..produce more milk than cows without names.
11:36Cows with names...
11:38What's a name, Mike?
11:39..such as Daisy...
11:40Trevor.
11:41Who's calling a cow Trevor?
11:42What a name!
11:43Any name.
11:44What about Daisy?
11:45Daisy.
11:46Or Buttercup?
11:47Trevor?
11:48Yeah, Trevor or Dave.
11:49Yeah, but they don't have boys' names, do they?
11:51Cows are ladies.
11:52Yeah, don't be fooled by these glasses.
11:54I'm not bright enough.
11:59My uncle's a farmer.
12:00Is he?
12:01Yep.
12:02And he's a farmer.
12:03And he's a farmer?
12:04Yep.
12:05And he's a farmer?
12:06Yep.
12:07Does he produce a lot of milk?
12:08Does he produce a lot of milk?
12:09Yeah.
12:10Does he produce a lot of milk?
12:11Yeah.
12:12And he's a farmer?
12:13Yep.
12:14And he's a farmer?
12:15Yep.
12:16Does he produce a lot of milk?
12:17Yep.
12:18Is he?
12:19Yep.
12:20And he's got...
12:21Hasn't got many cows any more.
12:22He's got many pigs but he does have a few cows
12:24and I do believe they do have names.
12:25Are they for milk?
12:26Yeah.
12:27And does he produce a lot of milk?
12:28He doesn't but they do.
12:29Liar.
12:30So you're saying...
12:31Let's get this fact right...
12:32So you're saying, scientifically, this isn't just a hunch.
12:33Michael Francis, that one's getting me right now!
12:35I'll re-say that.
12:36A herd of cows that are named will produce more milk.
12:40It's because they feel wanted, don't they?
12:43They feel individual, they feel they've got self-worth.
12:46It could be the same with Miltman, right?
12:48Cos my wife has started mentioning the Miltman's name a lot more.
12:51And we've been getting loads of free milk.
12:56If you think about a farmer, he brings his cow,
12:58he gives it a name, he looks after it, keeps it relaxed.
13:01Yeah. Sense of security. Lovely.
13:03And they reckon, as well, if you massage your cow...
13:06Yeah. ..play it, play it music, talk to it, woo it.
13:09Yeah, the bit that was disturbing,
13:10everyone was the word massage the cow, though.
13:13If you massage your cow. Massage your cow, yeah.
13:15Massage the udder or massage the whole body?
13:18Not massage the whole.
13:22Also, as well, I don't know how true this is with cows.
13:25My mate Mags, he's bald and then his hair started growing back.
13:29And he said cos he got a cow to lick his head.
13:31There's something...
13:33I'm starting to think, Freddie, you will believe anything
13:36that anybody tells you.
13:38He said there's something in the cow's saliva that makes her grow back.
13:41I mean, mate, he's got beautiful hair now, he's going bald.
13:45Oh, it's a lovely feeling, though, a cow's tongue.
13:48They're long.
13:49LAUGHTER
13:51Oh, no, no!
13:53APPLAUSE
13:56How do you get a cow to lick you?
13:58Just put your hand through the fence.
14:00Put your hand through the fence.
14:01LAUGHTER
14:06So, we've all said what we think, but we have to know for sure,
14:08so we put it to the test.
14:14So, according to Freddie Flintoff, cows with names produce more milk.
14:19In order to prove this theory, we require two herds of cows
14:23First up is farmer Mark Bellingham.
14:26I've got 89 milking cows, they're all individuals,
14:29all have a personality, and I know everyone by name.
14:32There's Baby, Penny, Nora, Dazzle, Fanny.
14:37Oh, such lovely names.
14:41But at our second farm, it's a very different story.
14:44None of my cows have names, they're cows, not people.
14:48Meet Mark Taylor and his herd of nameless cows.
14:52LAUGHTER
14:54820, 118, 37, 821, 123.
15:01You get the picture.
15:06Here's how the test works.
15:07We'll take 50 cows from each herd and compare in litres
15:11the milk yields from one morning's milking.
15:13If Freddie's theory is correct, the yield from the milk
15:16If Freddie's theory is correct,
15:18the yield from the named cows will be bigger.
15:21But in order to guarantee the experiment's accuracy,
15:24we require an independent adjudicator.
15:28A qualified judge, someone who's disciplined and intelligent,
15:32someone who's used to working with highly-strung creatures
15:35in a tense environment.
15:39And when? When do I start?
15:42Hmm, perhaps we should get a proper adjudicator.
15:45I'm Brian Pockney, and I'm the milk adjudicator.
15:49So, everything is ready for the experiment.
15:51But how can it be true that a cow produces more milk
15:55just because it has a name?
15:56To answer that, here is Dr Catherine Douglas,
15:59who is a leading expert on this very subject.
16:03Cows are intelligent animals,
16:05and just as humans respond better to the personal touch,
16:08so do cows.
16:09And improving the human-animal relationship on that farm
16:13will lead to happier cows, less stressed cows,
16:15which will be better behaved and produce more milk.
16:17But there are other factors at play as well,
16:19not just naming your cows.
16:21Other factors?
16:23Ah, so it's more complicated than we think.
16:25Tell us more, Dr Douglas.
16:28A lot of farmers believe that their cows are more relaxed
16:30and produce more milk listening to music.
16:33Michael Eavis, he believes that his cows
16:35produce a lot more milk during Glastonbury.
16:37If it's good enough for Eavis,
16:38then it's good enough for our experiment.
16:40MUSIC
16:43Come on now, Fanny, no moshing.
16:45Now we know all the factors that could increase milk production.
16:50Does naming your cows actually make a difference?
16:53Let's get milking.
16:57Brian is collecting results from both herds.
17:0046, 14.6 kilos.
17:04But which herd will triumph?
17:06The cows with names?
17:08That's Nora.
17:10Or those without?
17:11With all cows milked, it's time to announce the results.
17:14The cows from the herd with no names produce 601.8 litres.
17:19But the named cows, pipped them to the post,
17:22producing 623.2 litres.
17:25Fact. Well and truly proved.
17:32It's an interesting fact, and what is also a genuine true fact,
17:34that if you name a horse, it produces more lasagne?
17:40So, that was Freddie's fact.
17:42Now we're going to score it, Mel and Johnny,
17:44marks out of ten, please.
17:46Freddie gave me seven.
17:49No, I think that's a really good fact.
17:51Yes, good, solid fact.
17:53I'm going to give you eight.
17:55Johnny?
17:56I'm going to give Freddie six,
17:58because I think there's something there in the kindness,
18:00showing animals kindness and naming them
18:02shows that you actually give a damn.
18:04That's nice, quite rare as well for Freddie, getting a six.
18:06Yeah, well, it's not a horse, it's not a horse, I've given it...
18:13Let's add that all up and see...
18:16I think it was a solid fact, I'll give it an eight.
18:18I'll give it an eight.
18:19So, let's add that all up and see what you've got.
18:2124.
18:2222.
18:25Freddie, good job, 22 points.
18:28And now, last but by no means least, let's hear Johnny's fact.
18:32A person on their arm...
18:35..is far less likely to be pulled up for queue jumping than a group.
18:42A person on their own is less likely to be pulled up for queue jumping?
18:45Than a group.
18:46Yeah, but that's cos if they're on their own, there isn't a queue.
18:51You know what I mean?
18:52One person jumping a queue, nobody will say anything.
18:56Oh, I see, so if a person just goes into a queue...
18:58Yeah, walks a queue, people are hugely, basically,
19:02unhappy about pulling folk up on queue jumping,
19:05especially, especially if you're on your own.
19:08Is this something you do? You spend a lot of time on your own?
19:11What, queue jumping? Yeah.
19:13No, no, I hate it. I absolutely...
19:15You hate doing it or you hate somebody doing it to you?
19:18No, I hate somebody doing it to me.
19:20It happens to me all the time. Does it?
19:22Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happened this week. Yeah.
19:25And the woman... What queue is it?
19:27It was the queue for the Ryanair flight back from Dublin.
19:31Yeah. Well, you've got to treat yourself.
19:35Hang on, I like a bit of... Are we allowed to say we like Ryanair?
19:38You're allowed to say, yeah.
19:40Every single Ryanair flight I've been on has been on time
19:42and you get the... What's that?
19:44At the end, if you land on time...
19:46I thought you meant if you land safely.
19:50Do you know what? It's on time.
19:52They've timed the flight from Liverpool to Dublin at four hours.
19:55It takes 20 minutes.
19:57The way you carry on luggage,
19:59they charge you 70-odd euro, is it,
20:01for printing off your boarding pass?
20:03Do it at home, guys. Be prepared.
20:05I always print my boarding passes
20:07at least two weeks before travel.
20:09Well, I wish we could all be as organised as you.
20:11Well, indeed. But quite often,
20:13I'm in the gardening pulling bits of a broken plant pot
20:15out of my forehead.
20:17And the last thing on my mind is printing off a boarding pass.
20:22There's days when I'm in the garden
20:24printing off a boarding pass.
20:26There's days I can't walk!
20:31What about you, Freddie? You a queue jumper?
20:33Not really, but I've tried to jump the queue
20:35getting into bars and nightclubs.
20:37Always about the drinking with you, innit?
20:39It is. Oh, that's all right, though.
20:41Isn't it? We have no problem with that.
20:43The thing is, we used to get knocked back
20:45from all the places in London.
20:47You play cricket and nobody's interested, are they?
20:49And Darren Gough, one of the lads we played with,
20:51he thought that everyone knew him.
20:53And he'd go to the front and then try
20:55and explain cricket to a Ukrainian doorman
20:57who was having none of it.
20:59And at one point, these girls went past us one night
21:01and he'd go, hey, who are these?
21:03And this fella said, they're Atomic Kitten.
21:05He said, Atomic Kitten? I've been on This Is Your Life.
21:07I'll go home and get my big red book.
21:11OK, you've heard our views, but join us after the break
21:13to see us put the fact to the test.
21:15See you in a few minutes.
21:23APPLAUSE
21:25Welcome back to Don't Quatch, Don't Echo,
21:27the show that asks the answers to the question you never even asked.
21:29Before the break, Johnny Vegas told us
21:31that you will rarely be confronted
21:33if you cue jump on your own.
21:35We've all said what we think, but we have to know for sure,
21:37so we have put it to the test.
21:44It's said that we spend, on average,
21:46up to a year of our lives cueing.
21:48But is there a secret method
21:50to enable us to jump cues
21:52and get away with it?
21:54The etiquette of being in a cue is very ingrained
21:56and most of the time the system works very well.
21:58People join at the end of the cue and everything works.
22:00What's not as well worked out
22:02is how people deal with an intruder,
22:04someone who's jumping into the cue
22:06at the wrong place in front of other people.
22:08It's not so much that people are scared
22:10to object when someone intrudes,
22:12it's just that their interests
22:14are in the cue working in an orderly manner.
22:16So they'll tolerate one or two interruptions
22:18because the cue will keep moving forward.
22:20When more people than that intrude,
22:22they're far more likely to object
22:24because that's disrupting the overall flow of the cue.
22:26So that's the psychology.
22:28Let's not keep you waiting any longer.
22:34We need some shameless cue jumpers.
22:38People who are confident, audacious
22:40and just downright rude enough
22:42to take the challenge.
22:44The only criteria
22:46was that our cue jumpers
22:48had to cut into the middle of the line
22:50and if challenged,
22:52they had to move to the back.
22:54Let's see how they got on.
22:56Using hidden cameras
22:58to pick up their every move,
23:00we started with a group test.
23:02From what our psychologists told us,
23:04it seemed pretty likely
23:06that the test would fail.
23:08But we needed to confirm
23:10that was the case.
23:12Hello.
23:14Sorry?
23:16There's a cue behind you.
23:18Yeah?
23:20In the cue.
23:22Were you jumping the cue?
23:24I think he wants us to.
23:26Sorry.
23:28As predicted,
23:30the group were told where to go.
23:32But what about a solo cue jumper?
23:34Would people turn a blind eye to her?
23:36Amazing.
23:38She's cut right in.
23:40What is it?
23:42Free ice cream.
23:44Oh, right.
23:46Well, that could have just been luck
23:48or the people in the cue
23:50might have been particularly easygoing.
23:52We need to try a different cue
23:54to be sure.
23:56Hello.
23:58Hello.
24:00Hello.
24:02Hello.
24:04I'll just get in there.
24:12So that's success again
24:14for our solo cue jumper.
24:16And then it worked again.
24:24So we've proved
24:26you can cue jump on your own
24:28but we had no success
24:30with cue jumping as a group.
24:32But is there a clever way
24:34of getting more than one person
24:36into a cue?
24:42One of our jumpers has already
24:44pushed into the line.
24:46Let's see what happens
24:48when he's joined by a friend.
24:50How are you doing?
24:52All right.
24:54So, it might not be polite
24:56but you can definitely cue jump
24:58on your own
25:00and you can even get away with it
25:02if a mate joins you.
25:04Sneaky.
25:10Look at his face.
25:12He's ready to kick off already, isn't he?
25:14It's a downfall of society.
25:16What do you think?
25:18It's only a downfall of society
25:20in this country
25:22because foreigners laugh at us
25:24saying that we love to cue, don't they?
25:26But we don't love to cue.
25:28We love to act like French people.
25:34That's the truth.
25:38So, we've tested Jonny's facts.
25:40Mel Freddy marks out a ten, please.
25:42Start with you, Mel.
25:44Well, Mr Vegas,
25:46he gave me five.
25:48The powers in Mel's are there.
25:50I'm going to give you six, just to prove a point.
25:52It's a good fact, though.
25:54It is a good fact.
25:57I love the girl who played the jumper.
25:59She was really tough.
26:01She was like something out of Spooks or something, wasn't she?
26:03My favourite bit was when she joined the cue,
26:05waited a while, turned round and said,
26:07what are we cueing for?
26:11What are you going to give Jonny?
26:13I'm going to give him a seven.
26:15Seven, that's not bad.
26:17Do you know what?
26:19I was more impressed than any of them.
26:21I'm going to give you a nine.
26:23They're into it.
26:25Let's have a look at where that puts you, Jonny.
26:29It puts you in joint lead with 22 points.
26:35Freddy and Jonny are joint leaders with 22 points,
26:37but that could all change in our next round.
26:39It's time for Fact Finder.
26:43It's not just my guessing for all the facts,
26:45we've also asked our studio audience to bring in theirs.
26:47We've had a look at them, and during the break,
26:49Mel, Freddy and Jonny have tried to find the one fact
26:51that they think is the best and will win them the most points.
26:53Right, Mel, which member of the audience
26:55did you think had the best fact?
26:57Right.
26:59Have we got a Harley Cummings?
27:01That's a great name.
27:03Now, tell us your interesting fact.
27:05Without a spacesuit,
27:07a human will literally pop in space.
27:09Without a spacesuit,
27:11a human will literally pop in space?
27:13Yeah.
27:15How do you know this?
27:17From watching TV and films.
27:19You know they're not documentaries, don't you?
27:21Have you heard this?
27:23I'm with him.
27:25Have you seen Total Recall?
27:27This is not a documentary!
27:29This isn't science.
27:31At the end, when they're on Mars,
27:33and there's no oxygen, their heads are coming out...
27:35They're not in space, they're on Mars.
27:37That's in space.
27:39They're in an atmosphere.
27:41It's a different atmosphere.
27:43Sorry, Mars is not in space.
27:45Am I having a break? Is it just me?
27:47Mars is not in space.
27:49I want a genuine response to this.
27:51If I said to you, by cheering...
27:53If I said to you, cheer if you think Mars is in space.
27:55CHEERING
27:57Cheer if you think Mars is not in space.
27:59CHEERING
28:01I think you'll find that is evidence.
28:03LAUGHTER
28:05Johnny, will they pop? What do you think?
28:07I think they'd freeze.
28:09Freeze and then pop?
28:11It'd be like ice everywhere.
28:13Freeze pops.
28:15I'm not sure you'd pop. I think you'd freeze.
28:17It's freezing in space.
28:19No, I'm with Harley.
28:21OK, so that's what we all think of Mel's chosen audience fact,
28:23but obviously we couldn't test all these facts
28:25as we've only just heard them tonight.
28:27Instead, we have a special panel of boffins.
28:29So please welcome rocket scientist Dr Simon Foster,
28:31expert in cell biology and genetics Dr Emily Grossman,
28:33and chemical engineer David Wharton.
28:35It's our Verifiers!
28:37CHEERING
28:39APPLAUSE
28:43So, is there any truth in this?
28:45Unbelievably, it's not true.
28:47And unfortunately, Freddie,
28:49you can't believe, like, movie physics.
28:51What would actually happen to you is probably going to be worse
28:53because in a vacuum,
28:55water boils at a really low temperature,
28:57below your body temperature.
28:59So your blood would start to boil.
29:01This means bubbles would start appearing inside you.
29:03You would swell up, but you wouldn't pop.
29:05And then your lungs would collapse
29:07and you'd basically die of asphyxiation.
29:09But that would take 30 to 40 seconds.
29:11So it might be nicer
29:13to actually just pop instantly
29:15instead of going through all that agony.
29:17And your extremities would freeze as well.
29:19Can I just ask you a question?
29:21Is Mars in space?
29:23Mars the planet is in space
29:25just like Earth is in space,
29:27orbiting around the sun.
29:29But Mars does have a far thinner atmosphere
29:31than the Earth,
29:33so you would have problems breathing there.
29:35Me and Freddie saw it in a film.
29:37They pump air into the atmosphere.
29:39The oxygen would just disappear off, probably,
29:41but Mars doesn't have enough gravity to hold it down.
29:43That's why some planets have atmospheres
29:45and others don't.
29:47But if there's more gravity,
29:49wouldn't it hold the oxygen in more?
29:51But the gravity is the rocky planet itself,
29:53not the atmosphere.
29:55I've got an idea how we can speed things up.
29:57You say, Johnny, you're right.
29:59We'll edit that out later,
30:01and then we can move on.
30:03No, this is...
30:05Johnny, you're right.
30:07I have the same discussion
30:09with my favourite bit of the debate so far.
30:11Over the applause, I just heard Johnny go,
30:13no, I had the same debate with an ice-cream man once.
30:17OK, we're going to score this at the end
30:19once we've heard everyone's facts.
30:21OK, your turn, Freddie. Whose facts have you chosen?
30:23It is Amanda Bliss.
30:25Amanda Bliss? Yes. Where are you from, Amanda Bliss?
30:27From Dunedin in the Midlands.
30:29OK, and what do you do, Amanda?
30:31I work in a supermarket
30:33as an availability colleague.
30:35I said what? Availability colleague.
30:37What does that mean?
30:39It means, like, we've got a gun
30:41and we order the stocking. A gun?
30:43Yeah.
30:45Is this a posh way of saying that you rob supermarkets?
30:49Yeah, it's like a Tarzan gun,
30:51and it orders all the stocking for the store.
30:53So, yeah, we order all the stocking.
30:55Oh, so you'll see what's available with your gun.
30:57Yeah, yeah, yeah. And which supermarket is it?
30:59Um, Asda.
31:01Oh, can I ask,
31:03as part of the job,
31:05are you all allergic to fresh basil?
31:09Because you've never got none in.
31:11Ever.
31:13Any time I have a go,
31:15there's no fresh basil.
31:17OK, Amanda,
31:19what's the...? Fresh basil.
31:21Amanda, what's...?
31:23All the stuff in the jars, it's too strong.
31:25You can't make pesto with dried basil.
31:27I learnt to cook one dish
31:29and you can't give me one of four ingredients.
31:31He'll breathe in in a minute, I'll get him.
31:34Asda!
31:36Get out of my way!
31:40I'm so sorry about my friend, Amanda.
31:44Um, could you...? That and hummus!
31:54Amanda,
31:56what's your amazing fact?
31:58A human's thigh bone is stronger than concrete.
32:00A human what? Thigh bone?
32:02Yeah, a human's thigh bone, the femur,
32:04is stronger than concrete.
32:06It might be true, there might be a physics thing
32:08if it's the angle where you hit it.
32:10If you build concrete in the right way...
32:12You mean from top to bottom?
32:14It's incredibly sound,
32:16but if you hit it from the side with a wrecking ball...
32:18For scientific purposes,
32:20let's assume the shape of the concrete
32:22is the same shape as the bone.
32:24What do we think, Freddie?
32:26I'm starting to doubt it.
32:28I'm gullible, but maybe not that gullible.
32:30Yes, what, you think it is stronger?
32:32Yeah, I agree with... I love Amanda,
32:34I really trust her and I like your cake.
32:36Yeah, I think that fact is true.
32:38Possibly true.
32:40All right, well, let's find out what our verifiers think.
32:42Well, it's very interesting
32:44that bone and concrete
32:46are quite similar materials.
32:48They're both composites.
32:50Both of them have a lot of minerals in there
32:52which keep it very strong under compression.
32:54To make the bone strong under tension,
32:56it has fibres going through it
32:58and the concrete under tension
33:00has wires going through it.
33:02Weight for weight,
33:04a femur is four times as strong
33:06as a similar-shaped piece of concrete.
33:10That's conclusive. Thank you, David Walter.
33:14Absolutely no good.
33:20Is there any scientific findings
33:22to prove that a leg
33:24might be less structurally sound
33:26less structurally sound
33:28through a lack of basil?
33:32Any kind of answer
33:34in our case to answer?
33:42It's your turn, Johnny. Who are you hoping will lead you to victory?
33:44Lucy Hancock.
33:48Lucy Hancock, how are you?
33:50Not bad. How old are you, Lucy?
33:5220. Are you looking forward to Christmas?
33:56And...
33:58What's your amazing fact, Lucy?
34:00Babies can drink and breathe at the same time
34:02but adults can't.
34:04Babies can drink and breathe at the same time
34:06but adults can't.
34:08Yep.
34:10Hang on. They're drinking their milk
34:12and they can breathe through their nose.
34:14Yep.
34:16Can't we do that?
34:18I'd be dead if I couldn't.
34:20I was doubting this
34:22but I've got three kids
34:24and actually now that I'm thinking about it
34:26they do the breastfeeding thing.
34:28They are down there for quite a while, aren't they?
34:30And they're not going...
34:34I do and I'm doing it
34:36but they're like...
34:40Honestly, you don't need to try this.
34:42You definitely can't breathe and drink at the same time.
34:44It's called drowning.
34:46LAUGHTER
34:50I can see the front page of the newspaper.
34:52LAUGHTER
34:54APPLAUSE
34:56They're trying it.
34:58APPLAUSE
35:02It must be a thing where they've learnt
35:04to extract oxygen
35:06from whatever they're drinking.
35:08Really?
35:10Cos everything's got oxygen in it.
35:12There's famously a lot of elements that haven't got any oxygen in them.
35:14All right, OK, then.
35:16They breathe through their arse.
35:18LAUGHTER
35:20They haven't worked out which end they want to be yet.
35:22All children are born like push-me-pull-me's.
35:24LAUGHTER
35:26And it's only because we feed a certain end
35:28that that develops as the head.
35:30LAUGHTER
35:32Your kid grows up and they're a massive disappointment
35:34and you're going, you've only had fedding through the arse.
35:36LAUGHTER
35:38Verify, is there any truth in this?
35:40Well, I'm relieved to say, Johnny, that yes, it is true.
35:42And it's because
35:44we have in our throat two different tubes.
35:46One called the esophagus
35:48that leads to our stomach
35:50and another tube, the windpipe or trachea
35:52that leads to our lungs.
35:54Now, when we swallow, it's essential
35:56that we close the tube leading to our lungs
35:58cos otherwise any food or drink might go down the wrong hole
36:00and that would cause us to choke.
36:02And this is achieved by a little flap of skin
36:04that's called the epiglottis
36:06and it flaps over the top of the windpipe.
36:08But that means that whilst we're swallowing
36:10we can't breathe.
36:12But however, for babies,
36:14their voice box or larynx
36:16actually sits at the top of their windpipe
36:18and it sits higher up than it does for adults.
36:20So the windpipe actually pokes up the back of the nose
36:22like a little snorkel
36:24which means that they can swallow and breathe
36:26at the same time whilst they're suckling.
36:28And then later the larynx drops down
36:30so that they can start to have normal speech
36:32cos otherwise they can only hoot and babble like monkeys.
36:34LAUGHTER
36:36APPLAUSE
36:40So, we've heard only the facts are true
36:42but what scores will the Verifiers give them?
36:44After the break, we'll be finding out whether Mel, Freddy or Johnny
36:46will win tonight's show
36:48and have the dubious honour of helping me prove my maths fact.
36:50APPLAUSE
36:52MUSIC
36:54APPLAUSE
36:56MUSIC
36:58APPLAUSE
37:00APPLAUSE
37:02So, before the break, each of our celebrity guests
37:04chose their favourite fact from the audience.
37:06We've found out whether each fact is true
37:08and whether they will win tonight's show.
37:10Let's find out. Mel, please remind us of your chosen fact.
37:12This is a fact that came from Harley Cummings
37:14and she said that without a spacesuit
37:16a human being would literally pop in space.
37:18Ah. Yeah?
37:20Verifiers?
37:22Sadly, since he's untrue, we're only going to give it three.
37:24Oh.
37:26A dismal three, Mel. A dismal three.
37:28APPLAUSE
37:30Sorry. That means we've only got to get one point to win.
37:32Sorry.
37:34Freddy, remind us of your fact.
37:36Yeah, mine was from Amanda Bliss
37:38and her fact was a human thigh bone
37:40is stronger than concrete.
37:42What are we giving that, verifiers?
37:44Well, we thought about that.
37:46Whereas it's true in principle, it's not true for children
37:48which have very flexible bones
37:50and it's not true for very old people, especially old women,
37:52so we're only going to give it seven out of ten.
37:54Only seven?
37:56APPLAUSE
37:58He didn't say only three.
38:00And finally, Johnny.
38:02This is from Lucy Hancock
38:04and my fact is...
38:06And it is a fact, I think.
38:08Yeah, babies can drink and breathe at the same time
38:10but adults can't.
38:12Verifiers, what are we giving that?
38:14Well, this is absolutely true.
38:16Babies can drink and breathe at the same time
38:18until they're around nine months old.
38:20And seeing as it's you, Johnny, we're going to give you ten points.
38:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:26Wow!
38:28So, let's call that up onto the leaderboard
38:30and see how it affects the final score.
38:33In third place, Malcolm Edwards with 23 points,
38:35Freddie Flintoff, 29,
38:37but tonight's winner, Johnny Vegas, with 32 points!
38:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:49Well done, Johnny.
38:51You've won tonight's star prize,
38:53the chance to prove a fact of my very own.
38:55So my fact tonight is anyone can lie
38:57on a bed of nails unharmed.
38:59Let's go and test this out.
39:01Let's go and test this out.
39:03It's time for Max Fact.
39:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:09OK, this is very straightforward.
39:11No need to be scared, Johnny.
39:13This fact is all about...
39:15pressure.
39:17Oh, for that.
39:19Now, this is what you get for shopping at Ikea.
39:23Now, we're going to prove that these nails here
39:25can take the weight of a fully grown man
39:27with no problems at all.
39:29We're going to prove they are real nails, right?
39:33Imagine that is your testicles.
39:35Now, Johnny,
39:37because your weight will need to be evenly distributed,
39:39we're going to gently lower you onto this bed of nails
39:41in a harness.
39:43And just to prove to you there's no chance of injury,
39:45I'm going to do it too.
39:47Before we get going, we need to get changed
39:49into our special experiment suits.
39:51And whilst we do that, here's Dr Simon Foster
39:53with the science behind the fact.
39:55Now, if you've ever trod on a piece of Lego,
39:57you may have found that the little ones
39:59hurt a lot more than the big ones.
40:01And this is because you're concentrating your weight
40:03on a really small area,
40:05increasing the pressure in that region.
40:07Now, this is all linked up by a really nice equation,
40:09and that is pressure equals force
40:11divided by area.
40:13Now, if we translate this over to nails,
40:15if you have one nail
40:17and put all your body weight on it,
40:19basically the pressure in that region is going to be huge
40:21and it's going to be able to pierce through your body.
40:23Now, if you've got hundreds of nails,
40:25it's the surface area over which you place your force,
40:27your weight.
40:29This means the pressure on each individual nail
40:31isn't going to be big enough
40:33to pierce through your body.
40:35Now, this is a beautiful piece of physics
40:37as we're about to find out,
40:39and it should work perfectly.
40:41APPLAUSE
40:45Well, thank you, Simon.
40:47So, Johnny and I are in position and ready to go.
40:49Johnny, how are you feeling?
40:51Like a water balloon
40:53being carried by a clumsy kid.
40:55LAUGHTER
40:57Do you know that you can arrest anybody on the set of nails?
40:59You just can't drop it from 15 foot.
41:01LAUGHTER
41:03APPLAUSE
41:07Let's start by lowering Johnny.
41:09Don't forget to keep your back really straight.
41:11Oh, right.
41:13I was going to go out first.
41:15LAUGHTER
41:19And look on the bright side...
41:21Oh, Jesus!
41:23Johnny...
41:25APPLAUSE
41:27How do you feel?
41:29Well, you've got pins and needles in your leg.
41:31LAUGHTER
41:33It's a bit like that, but I know I'm never going to walk again!
41:35LAUGHTER
41:37Now, Johnny's proved his fact,
41:39so, in a way, you could say it's pointless
41:41me doing the same, really. There's not much point.
41:43So, I'll tell you what, let's change this.
41:45The question now is, is it possible
41:47for two people to lie on one bed of nails?
41:49Now, here I come, Johnny, I don't flinch.
41:51LAUGHTER
41:53Right, come on, then, move me.
41:55LAUGHTER
41:57I do not see the show ending like this.
41:59Lady, lady!
42:01Here we go.
42:03I promise I'll love you in the morning!
42:05You said come on the show and have some...
42:07Oh!
42:09LAUGHTER
42:13You're turning this into porn!
42:15Ladies and gentlemen...
42:17That's enough for science!
42:19Johnny hasn't become a human pink cushion,
42:21so I think we can definitely say
42:23fact proved!
42:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:27That's all we have time for,
42:29so a big thank you to my guests tonight,
42:31Matt Gertrudge,
42:33Freddie Flintoff,
42:35and Johnny Vegas!
42:37Thanks very much, join us next time, goodnight!
42:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:41Right, so, here we go.
42:43Richard's going to go in.
42:45Come on, ladies.
42:47LAUGHTER
42:49LAUGHTER
42:51APPLAUSE
42:53Well, aren't you a clever lot?
42:5580% of you thought that redheads
42:57could take more pain,
42:59and if you want to show off your brainpower again,
43:01Duckwax is back at the same time next week.
43:03And next up on Sky 1 HD,
43:05Nancy is about to discover
43:07the joys of travelling on an elephant.
43:09I kid you not, it's 50 ways to kill your mammy.
43:1150 ways to kill your mammy.
43:13APPLAUSE