Duck Quacks Don't Echo. S03 E05.

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deaddogsmoking
  • 2 days ago
First broadcast 28th September 2015.

Lee Mack

Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
Maggie Aderin-Pocock
John Sergeant

Bob Mortimer
Aisling Bea
Heston Blumenthal

Ido Erev
David Messer

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00This is a show where we reveal some of the most bizarre and brilliant facts you've ever
00:25heard.
00:26Each of tonight's guests have brought along their own favourite facts, which we will be
00:28putting to the test to decide whose is best.
00:31So before we hear the facts, let's see who's joining me tonight.
00:34Well a fact about my first guest is that in 2012 he was employed by British Airways to
00:38create an Olympic themed menu.
00:41Sounds easy, I'd have just gone for five different coloured doughnuts.
00:44Please welcome Heston Blumenthal.
00:47An interesting fact about my second guest is that he once returned to a Peckham hostel
00:54to find his girlfriend in bed with a Hell's Angel.
00:57Well, life's full of surprises, I once returned to my Premier Inn to find my wife in bed with
01:01Lenny Henry.
01:02Please welcome Bob Mortimer.
01:03Is it true Bob?
01:04It is true.
01:05But when you found your wife in the Premier Inn, luckily for you she will have been asleep.
01:14And a fact about my final guest is that in 2013 she was named Irish Tatler's Entertainment
01:20Woman of the Year, an award which itself then went on to win most specific award of the
01:25year.
01:26Please welcome Aisling May.
01:27Okay, let's get on with the show, all of tonight's guests have brought in a fact that they really
01:34love but who's his best?
01:36It's time for round one, fact off.
01:39Heston, you're up first, what's your fact?
01:44Feeling pain can increase your feelings of pleasure.
01:48Feeling pain increases your feelings of pleasure.
01:51As someone who was brought up a Catholic, I think that's definitely true.
01:55Do you like that, do you?
02:00Is this what you teach your waiters to say before they give the bill at your restaurants?
02:03Yes.
02:04And watch, trust me, it'll taste nice.
02:08And what about you Bob?
02:10Have you been to any of Heston's restaurants?
02:12No, I had a great year.
02:13I went to Marco Pierre White's once and I had a dish there, it was, does this sound
02:19right?
02:20A risotto with squid ink.
02:21Yeah, nice and black.
02:23Yeah, but it was inedible, but he was in the room so I felt, I was so scared, I felt
02:27obliged to eat it.
02:28You had to eat it?
02:29Yeah.
02:30I could just see him glaring at us.
02:31Whoa, it was rough.
02:33It was like, do you know if you mixed a tin of sardines in with Ambrosia rice?
02:37Oh my God, no.
02:39Not one of that kind.
02:41Okay, Heston, I love that.
02:43That's going in book 17.
02:45It sounds good.
02:47So, yes, the pain pleasure thing.
02:49It says that feeling pain increases your feelings of pleasure.
02:51It does under certain circumstances.
02:53And what are those circumstances?
02:54So, for example, we were making a program a few years ago.
02:56We were trying to bring, it's a Valentine's Day, couples closer together and look at various
03:02things that would do that.
03:03And one of them was if you experience a hand in ice water, two minutes, it gets quite uncomfortable.
03:07Oh, I know this one.
03:08You can pretend it's someone else's hand.
03:10No, that's another one.
03:13But then what would they do once their hand was out?
03:15Eat something?
03:16Yes, so they'd eat a range of foods with different flavors.
03:18So sweet, salt, sour, bitter.
03:20Yeah.
03:21Hand in ice water.
03:22It gets painful.
03:23Then what happens is you taste the food and just after that your senses are heightened
03:27because you're in a state of kind of defense.
03:31You should never try, obviously, if you're eating ice lollies, because you could bite your finger off.
03:36Can I just say that I was once bitten by a skunk.
03:40Still have the scar here.
03:42I was bitten by a skunk and I pulled the skunk off, I threw it in the lake.
03:47You shouldn't be giving him treats.
03:53I mean, I'd have punished him.
03:55All you're doing, Bob, is encouraging the little critter.
03:58I pulled the skunk off.
04:01I wish.
04:04I released the skunk and I threw it into a nearby lake.
04:09Right.
04:10And they can't swim, which made me incredibly happy.
04:16Oh, I see, there is a connection.
04:19Right, now you've heard what this lot think, but there's only one way to find out for sure.
04:21Let's take a look at our painful test.
04:28As the saying goes, no pain, no gain.
04:32But nobody actually enjoys the experience of pain.
04:36Or do they?
04:38What if pain can, in fact, heighten your experience of pleasure?
04:44Pain triggers the release of endorphins, in particular opioids, which are involved in our experience of pleasure.
04:50The reason they are released in response to pain is that they are also good pain killers.
04:56When the pain stops, this release of opioids can give us a pleasurable feeling.
05:01We also found evidence that pain brings us in touch with our immediate experiences
05:06and therefore makes us more aware of our sensory experiences.
05:11This increased awareness persists for a period of time.
05:15And when we introduce other stimuli, in this case something pleasant,
05:19we are simply more aware of its sensory and pleasurable qualities
05:24and therefore we enjoy the experience of it more.
05:28Complicated, but nice.
05:30Let's test it.
05:33We split ten volunteers into two groups.
05:36Group A will experience pain and Group B will not.
05:42After the test, the groups will be asked to eat the same delicious iced cupcakes
05:47and rate the taste from 1 to 10.
05:50In order for the ratings to be valid, none of the participants know what we are testing for.
06:01Group A has to sit in ice-cold water.
06:06Group B will get to sit in a nice warm waiting room.
06:11Group A take the plunge.
06:15In the interest of science, Group A has to wait in the ice bath for a full two minutes.
06:30Group B just have to sit and wait.
06:37After the two minutes were up, the cupcakes were brought in.
06:41Each person has to rate their cupcake out of 10.
06:50According to the theory, their receptors should be more alert
06:54and the endorphins that relieve the pain of the ice will add to the pleasure of the cupcake.
07:01But will the theory hold up?
07:05We calculated the average for each group and the results couldn't be any clearer.
07:11Group B in the waiting room rated their enjoyment of the cupcakes an average 6
07:16and Group A in the ice bath rated theirs much more, an average 8.4.
07:22That's a stunning difference of 40%.
07:27It appears that the science is correct, but we wanted to be absolutely sure.
07:35Group B might not like cupcakes so much.
07:41So this time they submerge themselves.
07:46Group A get to hang out in the warm waiting room.
07:51When time's up, we give both groups a delicious cookie.
07:57And these are the results.
07:59Group A in the waiting room gave their cookies an average score of 5.2
08:04but Group B gave theirs an average score of 8.6.
08:09That's a whopping 65% difference.
08:14So if you want more pleasure, you might want to invest in one of these.
08:24So, what did you make of that?
08:26I think it fairly proved what Heston was saying, didn't it?
08:28Yes.
08:29I mean, obviously, I'm not saying I'm not disputing the fact,
08:31but if you get out of an ice cold bath,
08:33surely everything's just better because you're not in an ice cold bath.
08:36I mean, I reckon even an Atomic Kitten Greatest Hits album would be all right
08:40if you just got out of an ice cold bath.
08:43So thankfully, every week we are joined by our resident experts
08:45who can tell us a little bit more about this fact.
08:47So please welcome specialist in cell biology and genetics, Dr. Emily Grossman,
08:51rocket scientist Dr. Simon Foster,
08:52and expert in space and mechanical engineering, Dr. Maggie Adairin-Pocock,
08:56otherwise known as The Verifier.
09:01So, isn't this just a question of the pleasure distracting us from the pain?
09:07No, I think it's more complicated than that,
09:09because the pain has finished and then you get the pleasure.
09:12Because recent brain scans have shown that if you get some fairly intense pain,
09:17you feel that, the reward areas of your brain are also stimulated,
09:21so then if you get something nice, like a cupcake afterwards,
09:24you've got a heightened sense of response,
09:26because that area of your brain is already sensitised.
09:28So it makes sense that you actually get more pleasure because of the pain before.
09:33This has been tested a number of times and it does seem to be the case.
09:36But I think I've been going wrong in my dinner parties,
09:38because usually if my food isn't going very well, I just pour more wine.
09:41What I should have is an electric shock under the table, zap them,
09:44and I think they'll enjoy the food more.
09:46OK, so that was Heston's fact, but how good was it?
09:49That's down to our studio audience.
09:51So using your keypads on a scale of 1 to 10, how impressed were you?
10:00OK, so let's find out what the average rating from our audience was.
10:03Heston, they've given you a nice 7 there.
10:05What about that? That's all right, isn't it? 7?
10:077 out of 10, that's all right, isn't it?
10:10You're probably thinking, who brought down my average?
10:12That's what you're thinking, aren't you? Well, let me tell you.
10:14Lucy Getgood, where are you?
10:16Why did you give him a 2?
10:18I don't like pain whatsoever, so I don't agree with it.
10:21Is it from years of bullying because of your surname?
10:24Quite possibly, yeah.
10:26Try and be called Blumenthal.
10:28Jax Wilson, where are you?
10:30Jax is a good name as well. Is that your real name?
10:32Short for Jackie, right? It's short for Jackie, yeah.
10:34OK. Why did you give it a 9?
10:3650 Shades of Grey.
10:3850 Shades of Grey.
10:40There you go.
10:42Funnily enough, I worked for three years in the same office
10:44as the author of 50 Shades of Grey.
10:46Is that where she got the idea?
10:48No, and she did have a terrific appetite.
10:52I'm just saying.
10:54Did she? Did she really work with her?
10:56Yeah. Did she?
10:58Yeah, she was production secretary for three, four years.
11:00What kind of appetite? Was she like...
11:02You know, the one where you eat lots.
11:04Oh, right.
11:06So we've heard Heston's favourite fact, but join us after the break
11:08when Bob will be trying to win us over with his.
11:16APPLAUSE
11:22Welcome back to Duck, Wax, Don't.
11:24Echo, the show that puts extraordinary facts to the test.
11:26Still with me are Heston Blumenthal, Bob Mortipa and Aisling Bea.
11:28APPLAUSE
11:32Now, before the break, we saw Heston win seven points
11:34for his fact that feeling pain increases our feeling of pleasure.
11:36Bob, you're next.
11:38What have you gone for?
11:40Hugging reduces your blood pleasure.
11:42Blood pleasure.
11:44Good one, Bob.
11:46No, I'm sticking with it.
11:48Got to try again.
11:50My fact is simply this, that hugging reduces your blood pressure.
11:52Oh, does it?
11:54I don't understand blood pressure,
11:56but I'm thinking to myself it's a good thing.
11:58Have you ever had your blood pressure checked?
12:00I have, but I've never understood it.
12:02They'll say you're 18 over 20 or whatever.
12:04And I think, don't we all?
12:06We all say, is that good?
12:08I know, exactly.
12:10I never know the rules. What are the rules?
12:12I think this is bad.
12:14Because I've got really low blood pressure,
12:16so my fingers are always cold, but I'm too low.
12:18Have they, though?
12:20Like the ice maiden.
12:22There's an old myth that low blood pressure means you're healthier,
12:24but that isn't true.
12:26My grandad has got the lowest blood pressure of anyone I know
12:28and he's been dead for 24 years.
12:30Heston, are you a hugger?
12:32Do you like a hug?
12:34I don't like a hug as much as the next man.
12:36Well, I'm the next man and I don't like a hug.
12:39Are you a hugger, Bob?
12:41Not really, no.
12:43Well, I find it difficult.
12:45Do you know, in a handshake, a weak handshake...
12:47Oh, there's nothing worse than that.
12:49And I tend to feel like with a hug, it'll probably feel the same.
12:51But I don't want to really go in there...
12:53But I find with this new man hug that we've all got to start now doing,
12:56and I'm never quite sure whether we should or shouldn't be doing it,
12:58it's increasing my anxiety and blood pressure,
13:00because I'm going, am I supposed to be hugging him?
13:02No, you think so.
13:04I mean, I'm still a shaker.
13:06I just go up.
13:10And people go, Bob, calm down, you're shaking.
13:12Got me on!
13:14This bump is a new thing, because that's more...
13:16What's the word? Ow, Heston!
13:18Jesus, but I feel so much pleasure now.
13:22Is that increasing the pleasure?
13:24Yeah, I love the hug more, because you hurt my hand.
13:28Well, what I do is,
13:30is that I salute people,
13:32but put a little roll in as I do it,
13:34because...
13:40You know, and then there's pleasure,
13:42there's pain, we've got the lot, you know,
13:44and then we hug and make up,
13:46and our blood pressure just goes down.
13:48Yeah.
13:50Bob, you obviously believe this fact is true,
13:52so you'll be able to prove it when we test it out.
13:54But before we do, let's see the science behind it.
13:56We all love a good cuddle now and then.
13:58But did you know that hugging
14:00can actually reduce your blood pressure?
14:02Researchers at the University of North Carolina
14:04and the Medical University of Vienna
14:06have found that hugging people
14:08releases a hormone
14:10called oxytocin into the bloodstream.
14:12This has a physiological effect
14:14on the body
14:16and reduces stress levels.
14:18To test this,
14:20we're going to measure the blood pressure
14:22of three pairs of people who love each other.
14:24Then they're going to have a hug.
14:26After they've had a nice cuddle,
14:28we'll measure their blood pressure again.
14:32OK, Bob, it's time to demonstrate this.
14:34Now, here are our huggers.
14:36We have friends Doreen and Belinda.
14:38We have father and son
14:40Kurt and Adam.
14:42And we have couple Serena and Dwan.
14:44Now, they've had their blood pressure taken
14:46by our medic Adrian,
14:48and as it's your fat Bob, you and I are going to have a little hug too.
14:50Did you say, as your fat Bob, we're going to have a cuddle?
14:52No, I said, as it's your fat Bob.
14:54Oh, OK.
14:56But for what it's worth, I do think you're a little fat.
14:58So, Adrian, please take Bob's reading.
15:00We're going to take Bob's now before the hug.
15:02And I did get it right with couple, didn't I?
15:04Are you married? No.
15:06Well, you might want to get a move on, mate,
15:08because you are batting well above your average.
15:10Are you certificated in any way,
15:12or is it just a costume?
15:14Oh, well...
15:16He's 50-50 on that.
15:18Yeah, are you actually qualified?
15:20I think we're looking at B-tech.
15:22Do you know what? If I'd had a heart attack
15:24and a professional medic came up with a name badge
15:26with just his name on that B,
15:28I'd go, I don't think he's fully qualified.
15:30So, Adrian, what's the result of Bob's blood pressure?
15:32Not that we will understand what it means.
15:34OK, so Bob's blood pressure at the moment
15:36is 165 over 92.
15:38Wow! What does that mean?
15:40Whoa, that is good, Lee. Is it good?
15:42That is good. That's like an athlete.
15:44Oh, yeah, a sumo wrestler.
15:46A fat one.
15:48Is that all right? Yeah, that's OK.
15:50OK, so we're now going to get up close and personal
15:52and see if the blood pressures can come down.
15:54Commence the hugging.
15:56I always...
15:58I always have to go to the right, Bob.
16:00Oh, Bob,
16:02you're a lovely man.
16:04You really are. I'm stroking your back.
16:06What is that in your pocket, Lee?
16:08That's, uh...
16:10We're doing another test.
16:12Serena, it's not too late.
16:14I'm available Wednesdays and Saturdays.
16:16Are those two alive at the end?
16:20Everyone's gone really quiet.
16:22I just feel like I've been used, really.
16:24OK, let's see
16:26what's happened to our blood pressures.
16:28Adrian, please can you read out Belinda's blood pressure
16:30before and now?
16:32So, Belinda's previously was
16:34148 over 69.
16:36OK. It's now gone down
16:38to 144 over 79.
16:40OK, slight decrease.
16:42So that's a hit right at number one. That's good, isn't it?
16:44OK, Kurt and Adam?
16:46Kurt originally was 140 over 80.
16:48OK.
16:50And he's now gone down to
16:52113 over 78.
16:54113? That's a hell of a job.
16:56He must have been really squeezing Dad there.
17:00And finally, Duane and Serena?
17:02And Serena
17:04originally was 132 over 74.
17:06Yeah.
17:08And has now gone down to 111 over 72.
17:10So finally, Bob.
17:12This is for 100% hit rate. Don't let me down.
17:14Nevertheless. Do your best.
17:16What was Bob and what is he now?
17:18Bob originally was 165
17:20over 92.
17:22He's now 151
17:24over 101.
17:26100% hit rate.
17:28There we have it. You can lower your blood pressure
17:30just by hugging. Thank you to all our
17:32huggers. Thank you, guys.
17:34Follow me, Mr Bob Mortimer.
17:42So there you go.
17:44There's the proof.
17:46Did it surprise you?
17:48I think that the two of you...
17:50That I had blood pressure.
17:52Or that two northern men can hug.
17:54I think that really broke some new ground.
17:56I think the two of you really seemed to enjoy it.
17:58No, I could feel it dropping as we were hugging.
18:04Okay, so we've tested Bob's fat,
18:06but let's find out how impressive our audience think it is.
18:08Time for you all to give it a mark out of ten.
18:10MUSIC
18:16Let's find out what the average rating for your fat was
18:18and where that puts you on the leaderboard.
18:22Bob, eight.
18:24That's a high score.
18:30Okay, last but not least, Aisling, it's your turn.
18:32Tell us your fact.
18:34Well, my fact is a brilliant one.
18:36When trying out a pen for the first time,
18:3895% of people will write their own name with it.
18:40So the first thing that...
18:42If you give someone a new pen, the first thing they will do
18:44is immediately write their name.
18:46Yeah, their own name with it.
18:48I'll be honest with you, I know the idea that you try a pen out.
18:50I don't think I've ever tried a pen out,
18:52because I know what's going to happen.
18:54I'm very fond of this fact,
18:56only because when do we use pens anymore?
18:58Like, now it's just this sort of thing and swiping,
19:00like when someone from...
19:02I genuinely thought that was a typewriter.
19:04I thought you were a bit old-fashioned.
19:06That's a nice pen, you wrote granola.
19:10But you think about it, you would write your name
19:12more than anything else, wouldn't you?
19:14Half, well, 16 letters are my name, I think.
19:16Well, add the 20 if you had all of them.
19:18Actually, I can't even spell it,
19:20I'm not going to be able to count the letters, am I?
19:22So I get a good chance to write.
19:24Do you even know how to spell your own name?
19:26Because that's one of the hardest names, a little Blumenthal.
19:28Well, it's worse, because my name...
19:30We got the third Michelin star in an interview with this journalist,
19:32and he said...
19:34He said, well, where did you...
19:36Where did you, um...
19:38He said, where did your name come from?
19:44I tried to talk through that,
19:46but it just didn't work, did it, at all.
19:48I mean, do you know when you're in a shop
19:50and you're allowed to try them and it's got those pads?
19:52Yeah.
19:54I would usually write, I know where you live,
19:56or I will destroy you.
19:58I like doing stuff like that. You know when you're in...
20:00You have to sign those books in cottages that you rent
20:02I always write, we barricaded the doors and the windows,
20:04but they're starting to come through the floor.
20:06And then just draw a line down like that,
20:08off the book.
20:10And it's always available the following year
20:12when you want to book it again.
20:14OK, you've heard what we think,
20:16but join us after the break when we put this to the test.
20:18APPLAUSE
20:30Welcome back to Duck, Quack, Stone, Echo.
20:32The show that brings you the most brilliant and bizarre facts
20:34you've never heard.
20:36Before the break, Aisling told us that when you try out a pen
20:38for the first time, over 75% of people
20:40will write their own name with it.
20:42We need to know for sure, so we put it to the test.
20:48Writing our name can be an important business.
20:52And sometimes, it's not.
20:54The experts believe that when offered a brand new pen,
20:58we'll probably write our own name.
21:00But are we really that predictable?
21:04As far as we know, there hasn't been any scientific studies
21:06to test this out.
21:08But there could be a selection of factors
21:10that make it successful.
21:12Firstly, our name is a very significant word for us all.
21:14We use it in many different circumstances.
21:16Financial transactions, special cards,
21:18and simply ending our letter.
21:20Our name is also one of the first things
21:22we are taught to write.
21:24Another explanation is that we have all been offered a pen
21:26on numerous occasions to sign our name.
21:28So when asked to write anything we like,
21:30we will probably respond with our name,
21:32because we have done this so many times before.
21:34And also, when asked to write something we don't like,
21:36we will probably respond with our name,
21:38because we have done this so many times before.
21:40And also, when asked to write something we don't like,
21:42we will probably respond with our name,
21:44because we have done this so many times before.
21:46And also, because our brain is likely to select words
21:48that are significant or come quickest to us.
21:50As a result, when given a new pen,
21:52we will, more often than not,
21:54write our own name.
22:00To prove the theory,
22:02passers-by were given a new pen to try out.
22:04Good afternoon, ladies.
22:06Testing out a new pen. Would you like to give it a try?
22:08To make this a valid test,
22:10passers-by gave no instructions
22:12about what they should write.
22:14They could write whatever they wanted.
22:16Brilliant. And is that your name, sir?
22:18Yeah. It is. Fantastic. Have a good day.
22:20That was the first thing that came into my mind.
22:22I don't know.
22:24I write it down a lot of times.
22:26So, yeah, that's the main thing.
22:28Of all the people using new pens,
22:30an amazing 87%
22:32chose to write their own name in some form.
22:34But not everyone did.
22:36That was so hungry
22:38that I wrote down Wurst.
22:40It's a German word for sausages.
22:42Overall, the result was convincing.
22:44Thank you. Have a good day.
22:46But perhaps it's only in the UK
22:48where we're obsessed with our names.
22:50In the interests of science,
22:52DQDE goes international.
22:54First, we're off to Italy.
23:06Molto bene.
23:08And guess what?
23:1070% of the people who took part
23:12wrote their name.
23:14Then we flew
23:1610,000 miles to the other side
23:18of the world.
23:20We're testing out a new pen today. Would you like to give it a go?
23:22What would the Aussies do with a new pen?
23:2674% wrote their name.
23:28Fair dinkum.
23:30And to leave no stone unturned,
23:32we flew to a remote
23:34village in Kenya
23:36to meet a Maasai tribesman.
23:44Would he write his name
23:46when given a new pen?
23:48He certainly did.
23:50It was worth the airfare.
23:52The global results gave us
23:54an incredible average.
23:5677% of people chose
23:58to write their own name
24:00when given a new pen.
24:02There you go. The perfect sign-off.
24:10I am genuinely gobsmacked about that.
24:1274% of Australians
24:14can spell their own name.
24:18So that was Aisling's fact. Now our audience is going to score it.
24:20So using your keypads on a scale of 1 to 10,
24:22how amazing do you think that fact is?
24:24Vote now.
24:26OK, Aisling.
24:28Let's find out what the average rating was
24:30from our audience for your fact.
24:32Oh, they've not liked it.
24:34Oh, that's...
24:36Pack of Judas's.
24:38Is that your real name?
24:40Funby?
24:42Is it Funby or Funby?
24:44Funby.
24:46And why did you only give it a one?
24:48I'm Nigerian. I've got a long name.
24:50So when I get a pen, that's the last thing I want to write down.
24:52Is Funby an abbreviation of your name?
24:54A very abbreviated version.
24:56What's your name?
24:58All right.
25:02What?
25:08Do you know what?
25:12I was suspecting that was going to be a long name
25:14when I asked him.
25:16There was a breathing in.
25:18I've got to ask again.
25:20Please can we have it one more time?
25:22Sorry.
25:24Where's the road James fit into all that?
25:26Even your own parents started going,
25:28oh, let's go for something simple.
25:30Put a James in there.
25:32Where does the Funby come from?
25:34It's shortened twice to Funby.
25:36I'm going to go for Jim. Is that all right?
25:38Yeah, that's cool.
25:40James, it's nice.
25:42It sounds like listening to the football
25:44with the foreign commentary where you get...
25:46Oh, yeah?
25:48It sounds like listening to the football
25:50with the foreign commentary where you get...
25:52Oh, yeah?
25:54OK, Bob's in the lead,
25:56but there's still plenty of time for Aisling and Heston
25:58to catch up in the next round.
26:00It's time for Fact Finder.
26:02OK, not only do we ask our guests
26:04to bring a fact to the show, we also ask our audience.
26:06Heston, Bob and Aisling have each picked out
26:08the audience fact that they think is best.
26:10Heston, you're first. Whose fact have you gone for?
26:12OK, Neil Stacey.
26:14Neil Stacey, where are you?
26:16So, what's your fact, Neil?
26:18My fact is quite simply that
26:20all figs contain dead wasps.
26:22Oh.
26:24Literally my favourite fruit in the world.
26:26Is it? And I've got a fig tree in my garden
26:28and I don't want to hear this.
26:30They all contain dead wasps?
26:32Yeah, absolutely right.
26:34There's a certain wasp which can only
26:36pollinate these figs
26:38pollinate these figs
26:40and this wasp, it buries a hole
26:42into the fig to lay its eggs
26:44and unfortunately
26:46the wasp dies
26:48inside the fig.
26:50The layer of the egg dies inside the fig?
26:52Yep. And just becomes
26:54figgy?
26:56Well, you grow figs, you've got figs,
26:58you've tasted them and
27:00they're quite crunchy, aren't they?
27:02Well, my tongue really swelled up.
27:04Heston, you're obviously
27:06our food man. Have you heard this before?
27:08No, never.
27:10And I've eaten quite a few figs.
27:12Do they come through
27:14the underside of the fig?
27:16Listen, I'm not an expert on figs.
27:18Oh, now you're not, but I see how you were.
27:20What kind of person
27:22introduces a conversation with, you know,
27:24your wasp is dead inside your fig?
27:26Tell us more, shatty, I'm not an expert.
27:28I wasn't expecting to be pushed.
27:30It was a Mexican waiter that told me this.
27:32Oh, here we go.
27:34So you were basically at a restaurant
27:36on your seventh tequila and a man came over and was like,
27:38Hey, you know there's a male fig and a female fig
27:40and they only have sex with wasps.
27:42It's really crazy. Have another drink.
27:44Never mind all that. How can I unglue my
27:46finger from my nose?
27:48I don't know, the aloe-aloe audition?
27:50Auditions?
27:52So that's what we think of Heston's
27:54chosen audience fact. Now we can't test it because we only
27:56just heard it tonight. So over to our verifiers.
27:58What do we think about this?
28:00Well, although this sounds pretty gross,
28:02it is basically true.
28:04But let me clarify.
28:06There is this fig wasp and it is absolutely tiny.
28:08How tiny? Less than a millimeter.
28:10Fully grown? Fully grown.
28:12It only lives for about three or four days.
28:14It is tiny. What a way to go
28:16inside a big fig.
28:18So what this does is it's born inside
28:20a fig and it will take
28:22the pollen from that fig and go and land on
28:24another fig. Then the females will actually
28:26crawl inside the fig.
28:28As it does this, it loses its antenna,
28:30it loses its wings and it finally gets to
28:32the center of the fig, lays its eggs
28:34and dies.
28:36So you've got a dead wasp
28:38inside your fig. Then the eggs,
28:40the males wake up first and they fertilize
28:42the females. Then they munch their way
28:44out of the fig.
28:46Then they die because they're knackered.
28:48Okay, it's a bloodbath I know.
28:50But now the females
28:52wake up and they have pollen
28:54from the fig they're in and they take
28:56that to the next fig and the bloody
28:58cycle continues. Now you did say
29:00that when you crunch into a fig, because figs do have
29:02seeds in them. And when you bite a fig,
29:04that's what you're getting, that's the crunch, it's the seeds.
29:06Because what actually happens to the dead wasp inside
29:08is there are enzymes in the fig that just
29:10break down the wasp. It's a tiny little thing,
29:12it's broken down and it just adds to the flavor
29:14of the fig. So you can't sort of pick out the wasp
29:16and say, eurgh, because it's actually just part of the fig.
29:18So, okay, well I'm genuinely
29:20a bit disgusted. That sounded a bit like the birds in the beans chat that I got
29:22at school. I love figs, but I don't like wasps.
29:24They're not vegetarian anymore, are they, figs?
29:26Because they've got a dead wasp in them. That's a good point actually, yeah.
29:28You can't eat figs if you're a vegetarian. Well, they are
29:30completely broken down. Yeah, but that's
29:32like saying you can't eat cow's eggs. Yeah.
29:34So,
29:36okay, we'll score
29:38it at the end once we've heard everyone's facts.
29:40Your next, Bob, whose facts have you gone for? I'd like
29:42to go for Michelle Marr, please.
29:44Michelle Marr, what's your fact? That you
29:46replace every particle in your body
29:48every seven years, so basically
29:50you're not the person you were seven years
29:52ago. Every particle?
29:54Every particle. Every atom? Every atom,
29:56every tissue, every cell.
29:58Oh, I have to replace my tissues all the time.
30:00Every, uh,
30:02every toenail. Yep, everything.
30:04Every fingernail. I'm not stopping until I've done
30:06everything.
30:08What's the consequences for the tattoo
30:10industry with this fact? That's a good point.
30:12That is a good point.
30:14How can you have tattoos if every particle's been changed?
30:16I don't know, I've often wondered, because we often have scars
30:18from childhood, so. Yeah.
30:20Tell me about it, mine are emotional.
30:22I've heard this
30:24before, with the tattoo
30:26and the scar thing, you know,
30:28I understand it slowly but surely, shedding your
30:30tissue like a snake, because every
30:32night bits of you fall out and fall off
30:34and everything else. But, um, don't they?
30:36Guys?
30:38Your body could learn to replace
30:40them with coloured atoms that spell out
30:42I love you, Mum. No it couldn't, it hasn't
30:44got a pan-ten board with it, has it?
30:46To match it up with. Yeah, the atoms
30:48on the way to your body go via the Dulux colour chart.
30:50Yeah, you wish.
30:52Okay, time for our verifiers to give us their
30:54verdict. Is this true, verifiers?
30:56Well, like you guys are saying,
30:58it kind of depends on exactly what part
31:00of you you're talking about being replaced.
31:02So if we look at cells,
31:04we've got over 30 trillion
31:06cells in our body, and
31:08astonishingly, the average
31:10adult male loses 96
31:12million cells every minute
31:14from their body. But that's
31:16okay, because we're... That is careless, isn't it?
31:18But we're
31:20constantly replacing those cells in exactly
31:22the right numbers and exactly the right proportions
31:24to build them back up again.
31:26Now, if we look at the cell's lifetime,
31:28they vary enormously. Some of
31:30them have a really short lifetime, like some cells in our gut
31:32only last three or four days.
31:34The top layer of skin cells last about a month, usually.
31:36And there's some cells,
31:38like cells in our brain, not all of them, but most
31:40of them, that stay with us for basically
31:42our whole lifetime. So this whole seven
31:44year idea is actually, when it comes
31:46to cells, it's a bit of nonsense. But
31:48if you're talking about the atoms,
31:50then this could be true,
31:52because a study showed that 98%
31:54of the atoms that make up the molecules
31:56that make up the cells, they actually do
31:58replace 98% of them every year.
32:00So after about five years, there's
32:02a very, very, very, very high chance
32:04that every single atom in our body
32:06has been replaced. So why do
32:08they keep replacing my belly ones
32:10with fat ones?
32:12How do they remember to do that?
32:14Because your brain cells are always there and they're always telling you
32:16to do it. Wow.
32:18I never knew this. So, like,
32:20as Lee was talking about a memory,
32:22can a replaced cell pass on
32:24the old information to the new one?
32:26Until relatively recently, it was
32:28thought that brain cells can't regrow.
32:30Categorically, you can't get more brain cells.
32:32Actually, that's not true. There are certain types of brain
32:34cells that can regrow. That's how we get new
32:36memories. And actually, certain types of cells, like
32:38neurons in the nose, can actually
32:40spontaneously regenerate. So there's
32:42lots of new and exciting work going on at the moment
32:44about regenerating nerve cells
32:46using cells in the nose. So it could be
32:48that memory cells can change and grow,
32:50but there's certainly some types of brain cells that can't
32:52be replaced. They're the ones you can drink away.
32:54Yeah, exactly. That's why they say
32:56be careful, don't, like, bash yourself on the head or drink
32:58too much, because you probably won't ever get the
33:00same number back as you started with. Don't drink too much
33:02or bash yourself on the head is my family motto.
33:04It's above the fireplace as a reminder.
33:06So, finally,
33:08Aisling, whose facts have you picked out?
33:10I have picked someone from
33:12one of my favourite families, Jay Pratt
33:14of the Prats. Prats? Where are you,
33:16Mr Pratt? So, Jay, what's your
33:18fact? Male hippos
33:20attract their females by flinging
33:22their dung and urine around.
33:24I think that's a perfectly acceptable chat up line.
33:26Sounds like
33:28a night out in Dublin.
33:30OK. Have you
33:32heard this before? No, but that's how
33:34nature works, doesn't it? With
33:36scents from poo and
33:38wee and... Sounds feasible to me.
33:40I can't... Well, what else are they going to do?
33:42They're not, like, on Twitter, are they?
33:44You know what?
33:46That's the way nature works, isn't it?
33:48Well, they could talk, like, in hippo language.
33:50Oh, you wish. You still think all animals
33:52are cartoons, don't you?
33:54It's whoever can catch the most balls in the mouth, isn't it?
33:56It's like...
33:58So,
34:00verifiers, Aisling likes Jay's fact,
34:02but is there anything in it? Yeah, it's actually
34:04true. It's a sign of territorial
34:06dominance. Hippos, or male
34:08hippos, go and spray their dung everywhere
34:10and they use their tail as a kind of racket
34:12to knock it as far as possible. They don't.
34:14They do. You're telling me they're serving
34:16now. They're pooing in the air
34:18and whacking it down. So they do that
34:20and then the females, if they're
34:22interested, can then reciprocate and
34:24also start doing it. It's called
34:26submissive defecation.
34:28So they return the favour.
34:30Scientists said it's fine. I go
34:32searching online for this kind of stuff.
34:34I'm a pervert.
34:36It's OK. Well, I'm disgusted.
34:38But didn't the
34:40perfume world
34:42start when they found that heavier molecules
34:44which came from animals marking
34:46their territory was scent. They stuck
34:48the more volatile molecules to get on the skin
34:50so perfume lasts for longer. So
34:52musk came from the anal gland of a deer.
34:54This is the kind of thing
34:56you want to see more of on the French perfume adverts, don't you?
34:58Black and white picture of a model
35:00just looking around and going, smell like an anus
35:02of a giraffe.
35:06So we've heard the facts, but how many points will our verifiers
35:08give them? Find out after the break.
35:22So before the break, each of our guests chose their favourite
35:24fact from the audience. We found out whether each
35:26fact is true, but who will get the most points
35:28from our verifiers? Let's find out.
35:30Heston, please remind us of your chosen fact.
35:32OK, so Neil Stacey
35:34gave the fact that all figs
35:36contain dead wasps.
35:38Verifiers, what score are we giving that?
35:40I think we'd give it a nine. It's disgusting
35:42but it's just so unusual and so
35:44unexpected. I think it deserves a nine.
35:50Those are the exact words that my
35:52wife used when scoring me after the first night on the
35:54honeymoon.
35:56So unusual and disgusting,
35:58I'm going to give it a nine.
36:00Bob, remind us of the fact you backed.
36:02Michelle Ma gave us the fact that you
36:04place every particle in your body every seven
36:06years, which means that you are not the same person
36:08you were seven years ago.
36:10Verifiers? Now, like I said,
36:12most people think that this refers to cells in your body,
36:14which isn't true, but it is actually
36:16true. 99.999%
36:18certain for the atoms
36:20in your body. So we'll give it
36:22eight. I'm sure we should give it 9.9.
36:26OK, and finally, Aisling,
36:28which fact did you go for? Well, the lovely
36:30Jay Pratt told us that male hippos attract
36:32female hippos by spraying
36:34faeces and urine around.
36:36Oh, verifiers. Well,
36:38this gave us a wonderful insight into
36:40the animal kingdom, so we're going to
36:42give this a nine. A nine, OK.
36:44So let's put all of that up onto the leaderboard
36:46and we can see how it's affected the scores.
36:50OK, in third place is Aisling with 15 points,
36:52but Bob and Heston are leading with 16.
36:56OK, there's still time
36:58for Aisling to catch up. We've all heard the guest facts
37:00and the audience have brought theirs, so now it's my turn.
37:02It's Max Facts.
37:06I've got some facts for you. All you have to do
37:08is guess what they are from a series of clues
37:10and you'll get points for each one you get right.
37:12OK, here's the first one. It's this.
37:14A magnet. And this.
37:16Cereal. You're proving that cereal boxes
37:18are generally bigger than magnets.
37:20Generally, yeah. Do you want to have a guess?
37:22Is it to do with
37:24iron? And? Cereal.
37:26And? Magnets. Yes.
37:28My fact is that breakfast cereal
37:30is magnetic and I will demonstrate this
37:32using one I made earlier.
37:36And this, which...
37:38Luckily, my grandmother is lactating at the moment.
37:42So what we do
37:44is we...
37:48Right, so here we go. Watch the bran.
37:52And there's supposed to be so much iron in it.
37:54There's supposed to be so...
37:56Well, the actual fact is that this is because cereals
37:58contain so much iron, so in theory,
38:00if you get a magnet big enough, you could actually
38:02steal Special K from a supermarket
38:04without stepping inside.
38:08OK, my next one is simply
38:10this.
38:12I came...
38:14I was just about to say I came across a giraffe
38:16in the presence of Lima.
38:18So I withdraw that.
38:20I withdrew that.
38:26I was in Africa about three weeks ago
38:28and some giraffes came along and laughed their heads off
38:30at my neck.
38:34So what do we think?
38:36An arrow pointing at a nose of a giraffe.
38:38Yeah, that's not a catchphrase.
38:40Say what you see, Bob.
38:42Say what you see.
38:44It said arrow nose giraffe.
38:46Look, I'll give you a clue.
38:48If you were on a night out with a giraffe
38:50in a nightclub and they had
38:52something a bit embarrassing on their face
38:54and you were telling them to get rid of it,
38:56get rid of that, how would they do it?
38:58How would a giraffe scratch its nose?
39:00Basically, how would it go a bit more
39:02inside the nose and clean out the holes?
39:04Tongue!
39:06That is correct. My fact is giraffes pick their nose
39:08with their tongues.
39:10And that's the picture to prove it.
39:14I mean, to be fair, so does me Auntie Jean,
39:16but she doesn't bang on about it.
39:18So verify us.
39:20I assume this is happening because they've got no other way of doing it?
39:22Yes. Basically, giraffes
39:24have the most flexible tongue
39:26of all animals. And it's so that they can use it
39:28like a kind of hand to grab
39:30the leaves of the acacia trees, which they have
39:32for their lunch. And they can also extend
39:34their tongue, when they poke it out, they can extend it
39:36up to 21 inches.
39:38Nothing!
39:40It can basically wrap
39:42pretty much right the way round their head.
39:44Giraffes can use their tongue for basic grooming
39:46in the same way as we use our hands. So they use their tongue
39:48to pick their nose, and they also use their tongue
39:50to clean their ears.
39:52Well, I never did.
39:54Right, so my final fact tonight
39:56is simply this.
40:00And it's this.
40:02You know when you want to get a woman to give birth,
40:04you give her a curry or something like that. If you want to get
40:06a chicken to lay an egg, you stick it on a trampoline.
40:08And eventually it comes out quicker.
40:10Where I'm from, you give a woman a curry if you want to conceive.
40:14Do you know what the fact is? Yes.
40:16The fact is simply that you can trampoline
40:18on eggs and not break them.
40:20Now, whilst we get ready to prove this...
40:22You can only trampoline on a trampoline.
40:30Are you sure? Do you know what?
40:32I think you can probably do it on eggs.
40:36Okay, my fact is you can trampoline on eggs
40:38and not break them. Now, whilst we get ready
40:40to prove this, here's the science behind it.
40:42The key factor here is the shape of the egg.
40:44It could be thought of almost like a 3D arch,
40:46which is an incredibly strong
40:48architectural structure. The Romans
40:50were using it thousands of years ago to make
40:52aqueducts. And basically, when you apply
40:54pressure to the top like you are with the egg,
40:56it redistributes that pressure
40:58all over the surface, so it's not concentrated
41:00in one point, and so
41:02won't break. Now, this structure is
41:04so strong that it can actually take
41:06the weight of a human being, as you can see here.
41:08And fingers crossed, I should be able to
41:10walk across these without breaking
41:12any or too many, I should say.
41:14So here we go.
41:16They're coming with me. There we go.
41:22Now, as long as they keep their feet
41:24nice and flat and they hold on
41:26to the trampoline, this should kind of
41:28make sure their pressure isn't uneven on the eggs.
41:30And they should hold firm, so hopefully
41:32we should make sure none of the eggs
41:34break.
41:36So, we've all got eggs strapped to our feet,
41:38and as you can see, they're just ordinary
41:40chicken eggs. So we're now
41:42going to start gently bouncing and
41:44see how high we can get without breaking
41:46the eggs. Are you ready? I've never felt so vulnerable
41:48in my life.
41:50The position of the way we're stood isn't helping.
41:52So... Do we have to hold
41:54onto this, Lee? To start with, just to
41:56get a little bit of bounce going. Here we go.
41:58Here we go. Three, just gentle bounces to start
42:00with, Hester. Here we go. Three...
42:02This is how you make scrambled eggs in your restaurant, isn't it?
42:04Here we go. Three, two, one,
42:06go!
42:08Oh, what did you do at work
42:10today, Dad? You won't believe
42:12me if I told you, son. Dignity.
42:14Always dignity, Lee. Yes, and don't try this at
42:16home. It's not dangerous. You just look stupid.
42:20I've got a couple of... Have you gone round the ground yet?
42:22I haven't gone. Oh, oops.
42:24Oh, there he is. Look at him spurting.
42:26Oh, God. Oh!
42:28Oh!
42:30Well, this proves
42:32two things. One, eggs really won't
42:34break when you're jumping up and down on them, and two,
42:36my dignity's gone right out the window.
42:38Success. You can trampoline almost
42:40on eggs without breaking them.
42:42And after that round, let's see the final scores.
42:44I haven't broken mine yet.
42:46Congratulations. Hester and Bob
42:48are the winners!
42:52So, a huge thank you to our verifiers
42:54and our special guests, Aisling B,
42:56Bob Mortimer, and Hester Blumenthal.
42:58I'll see you next time. Goodnight!
43:04A big star
43:08cast in an even bigger comic that's about
43:10to destroy the planet. The end of the world has
43:12never been this much fun. A brand new
43:14comedy-drama, You, Me and the Apocalypse
43:16starts Wednesday at nine on Sky One.