First broadcast 21st February 2014.
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Sue Perkins
Bob Mortimer
Aston Merrygold
Ronald Cutler
Nick Neave
James Blackwell
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Sue Perkins
Bob Mortimer
Aston Merrygold
Ronald Cutler
Nick Neave
James Blackwell
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Hello and welcome to Duck Facts Don't Echo. This is a show where we put brilliant but
00:25slightly bizarre facts to the test. We've asked each of our guests to come armed with
00:29their own fact, which we will be testing out under strict scientific conditions to see
00:33whose is the best. So let's see who's on the show tonight. A fact about my first guest
00:37is fans have campaigned for her to be the first female Doctor Who, which could work
00:43as you don't have to reverse park the TARDIS. Please welcome Sue Perkins. And a fact about
00:50my next guest, and this is true, he impersonated Michael Jackson on Stars In The Rise. He didn't
00:56look anything like him, but in fairness, nor did Michael Jackson. Please welcome Ashton
00:59Marigolds. And the fact about my final guest is he says he originally wanted to be a professional
01:08footballer and play for Middlesbrough. I didn't realise you could do both. Please welcome
01:14Bob Waterman. So, this is a show all about extraordinary facts. For example, there is
01:22a part of your body that doesn't feel any pain because it has very few nerves. Are we
01:28any idea which part of the body I am talking about? It's got no nerves in it. It's got
01:33virtually no nerves. My grandmother's jowls, certainly not, because they went from here
01:37to here, to the middle of her tits, basically. You could hang off those as a child and she
01:41never felt any of it. It was like a sail on a sort of old sailing vessel. You'd grab it
01:47and it would go. I should explain to Ashton that before we had Playstations, we used to
01:50have to hang off our grandmother's jowls. Inside or outside the body? Now I thought
01:56you were drunk again. Are we inside or outside? It's outside your body. I think it's this
02:04part of your arm, your forearm. It must be something around that. In fact, it's your
02:08elbow and you can even put it in a clamp and you'll still feel no pain. I think you all
02:13know what's coming. Here we go. So Bob, either Sue does Bob's arm or Bob does Sue's arm.
02:21This show has taken on a whole new slant. The elbow wing is going in there. You pull
02:26it down. I'm not even going to wait for you to tell me because I'm so confident this will
02:29never hurt. I'm actually running out of... Oh, that's a circus act right there. Is it
02:36on? You're really squeezing it, aren't you? I can't go any more. I can literally not go
02:40any more. Are you feeling anything? You're joking, Sue, but surprisingly you can do this
02:46with your testicles. Oh my God, Aston's got stigmata. So okay, let's go on with the show.
02:56Now we've asked each of our guests to come with a fact they love, but which one will
02:59be the best? It's time for round one. Fact off. Sue, you're up first. What is your fact?
03:11Double dipping is my fact. Now, not in a Mervyn King kind of bank bouncing way, but in a tortilla
03:18chick way. So a double dip is... Oh, right, dip. I was going to say, I didn't... Yeah,
03:23sorry. Go on. Is it some sort of young sex term? Is it? What? You heard. Yeah. It is,
03:31isn't it? Come on. Yeah, what is it? Come on, young man. Show us on the dolly where
03:34he touched you. I'm just interested to see this double dip. It's fine. You carry on.
03:41So you dip, you eat, okay? And biting there, 100,000 bacteria from my mouth have just gone
03:50on the edge. And I go, in go the 100,000 bacteria. They're sort of in there now. Oh, again, a
03:58bit more in there. Put about a million in there now. It's a treble dip. Do you want
04:01some? No. Yes, you do. All right then. So you have some, and then about 100 of my bacteria
04:08go into your mouth, and then you stop double dipping until the end, basically, you're
04:12left with a sort of liquid that's like as hygienic as a petting zoo or John McCrory's
04:16armpit. Come on, have some. I'll have some. I don't mind spreading it. You know, after
04:21what we've done before the show, this is nothing. You're genuinely not having a dip. I've noticed
04:26this. You're reluctant, aren't you? I'm just a bit like, hold on. Look at the bright side.
04:30What is the bright side of that? You now know how unhygienic this is. You're safe in the
04:34knowledge. If you ever see someone double dipping, you could stick your knob in the
04:37hummus and knowing that it's more hygienic. You're making certain presumptions about Aston's
04:42penis there, aren't you? What? That I like to put it in hummus. No, that it's clean enough
04:46to put in hummus. Look at him. Aston looks like the cleanest man that's ever lived. I
04:53would say that he could put anything in hummus and everyone would be safe. I'm not casting
04:57aspersions to, but I'd rather have hummus after he's had his willy in it than you've
05:00double dipped. I reckon if you dip your knob in that, there'd be very, very little bacterial
05:05transference. I reckon it's probably the cleanest thing. Don't fall for it. I fell
05:09for this before the show. Okay, that's enough speculating. As ever, we put the fact to the
05:15test. So let's see what happened when we spread bacteria like wildfire with some double dipping.
05:19Chips, chips. Mmm, tortilla chips and dips. Most of us will have enjoyed this gastronomic
05:37power couple at a party or while watching a film with friends. But does dipping the
05:42same tortilla chip in a dip twice really mean you're spreading bacteria from mouth to mouth?
05:48Cue our expert. If you take a piece of food and you put it into a dip and you take it back out
05:55again, you chew on it and you put it back in the dip again, what you're doing is you're transferring
06:00the bacteria from your mouth into the dip. If you're unfortunate enough to be carrying an
06:05infectious disease, then what you're going to do is easily spread the disease to other people
06:10simply because they're putting their food into the dip that you've just contaminated.
06:15Yeah, that sounds disgusting. Let's put this to the test. We needed 10 plucky volunteers,
06:25some dips and lots and lots of tortilla chips. We first checked the oral hygiene levels of our
06:36volunteers, made them rinse their mouths before taking part and even trained them in the perfect
06:44biting and dipping action. So it's time to bring out the tortilla chips and the dips. This is one
06:58of Britain's most popular dips, hummus. It's time to dip. Our volunteers took one dip in the first
07:07dish and then ate the entire tortilla chip single dipping. And then with the second serving,
07:16they took a first dip, bit and then went back for seconds, thus double dipping. Our scientists
07:27then prepared both samples to be taken to a laboratory for testing. The single dipping
07:33sample had a bacteria level of 480 bacterial colonies per gram. But incredibly, and rather
07:40disgustingly, the double dipping sample had a level of 23,500 colonies per gram, nearly 50
07:48times more than the first sample. But that's not quite the end of this experiment, is it doctor?
07:54The consistency of the dip will affect the spread of the bacteria throughout the dip. If it's a runny
08:01dip, you're obviously going to spread it further because you're going to mix it and it will stir
08:05the bacteria throughout the dip. Here comes test two. We put 10 of the most famous dips from around
08:15the world in order of consistency. From the runniest dips, like tzatziki and salsa, to the
08:22thickest, like baba ghanoush and our old friend hummus. Chips ready? It's time to dip. Our 10
08:33volunteers then double dipped in all 10 dips. But would the runniest dips really hold the most
08:39bacteria? Not everyone loved every dip, but perhaps that was other people's saliva they
08:47were tasting. It was absolutely disgusting. Again, the dips went off to the lab. But would
08:55our top 10 worst offenders start with the thicker dips and end with the runniest? So, who made the
09:04top five? At five, it's garlic and onion. Then at four, taramasalata. And guacamole at three,
09:12with a punchy bacteria level of over 10,000 colonies per gram. Incredibly, our top two
09:20bacteria facilitating dips were also our two runniest dips. With salsa at number two,
09:27holding 49,000 bacterial colonies per gram, and our number one worst offender with over 300,000
09:35colonies per gram, the Greek favorite, tzatziki. And hopefully this won't affect tzatziki sales
09:42too much, otherwise Greece really will be stuck in a double dip recession. So, Ashton, are you even
09:55more disgusted than your looks before the VT? I really am, like to the point of, you can imagine,
10:01being on a tour bus with us four, then you've got eight dancers as well. You're a poor booger,
10:09it sounds like hell. Well, with all the double dipping going on then, yeah. Are you a tour bus
10:14of lots of dips though? Do you like a dip? You know what I mean. Are you all dipping on the
10:19tour bus? I mean, you mentioned the dancers, not me. Is it a double decker bus? Is it? It is, wow.
10:28Double decker dipping. So, Bob and Ashton, you need to score Sue's facts out of ten. So,
10:34based on what you've seen, what are you giving it, Bob? Well, I'm gonna give you eight points
10:38out of ten. You know, like, I think everyone's learnt a bit there. There's so much more to this
10:43as well. It's such a lesson learned, because in the kitchen, you know, when you're having your
10:47butter, when you're sharing butter or... What, with your finger? You share butter with your finger?
10:54Are you treating butter like some sort of treat? Are you a family of mice? Yeah, you take the butter,
10:59and you say, have you got any more? And you put it on your bread. What, with your finger? Well,
11:04what else would you use? A knife! I think so, you use a knife for your meat. Are you in the zoo?
11:10Yeah, but you're just proving the point that that's the natural way. This is like watching
11:20the three stages of showbiz. New, losing it, gone. Aston? I'm gonna go one higher, I think,
11:30give you a nine, only because it's a bit like, I'm still that disgusted that I can't give a ten.
11:36I'll tell you what, I'm gonna give Sue an eight. Thank you. So, let's see what your total is,
11:42Sue. 25 points, healthy start. So, we've heard Sue's favourite fat, but after the break,
11:51it's Aston's turn to try and impress us with his. Don't go away. Don't get me wrong,
12:00I once spread Philadelphia with my penis. Oh, sorry. Welcome back to Dick Blackstone Echo,
12:05the show that puts extraordinary fats to the test. Still with me are Bob Mortimer,
12:09Aston Merigold and Sue Perkins. Before the break, Sue won 25 points for her fact about
12:19the perils of double dipping. Aston, you're next. What fact have you gone for? My fact is,
12:24there are certain dance moves that women find more attractive. I think I know which one it is,
12:30Aston. Touch me. That's the one. That is the one. That always works with the ladies, that one.
12:44Always. The simple snakes. Is that the snake, that one? It's just the wave. Hey, what do you mean?
12:51Just. That took me three years to say. What's this one? Is that the snake? That's when you
12:56do the wave but you live on your own. I believe that's called dream hands. Is it? I've seen an
13:09instructor say, here goes one, and two, and dream hands. Never in my life has anyone said to me,
13:16come and do dream hands. But if it said to you a steady wave, you'd go for that? No. So do you
13:22know, when you say there are certain dances, do you know what these certain dances are? Well,
13:26some people are very much dance based waist and above. You ever see people when they just kind
13:32of stand still and they'll be like, and it's all here. And is that good or bad? That's attractive
13:41to some women. What about you? But I don't think I want women to just find me attractive for my
13:45dancing. I want them to find me attractive for my money. You're not an idiot. You want it as part
13:52of your toolkit. You want a nice van, the ability to dance, decent skin, do you know what I mean?
13:58And a nice full pantry. That's what most girls want. Can you dance, Lee? Can I dance? Yeah. Nope.
14:05I can't dance. I can do, you know, I've been known to moonwalk. Can you moonwalk? Can I stand on this?
14:12Yes. Here we go. Which way? You can. I've been known to do a few moves.
14:41Somebody must find that attractive. Dad dancing. Don't you ever patronize me again.
14:48So that's what we think, but we need to test it out. So this calls for a scientific dance-off.
14:55But before we do, let's see the science behind it. According to science, there are specific
15:00dance moves that women find more attractive. So apparently, if you follow the scientist's
15:06formula, you're guaranteed to attract the ladies. We've conducted extensive research
15:11into men's dancing and what dance moves women find more attractive. Our research has enabled
15:17us to look at any man dancing and to tell what women will find attractive or not. So
15:23what are these moves? What we found typically is that women are focusing on the upper body.
15:28It's the movements of the head, the shoulders, the arms especially. And it's the kinds of
15:34movements, but it's also the speed of the movements and the variability of the movements.
15:39So that's what the expert says. All we need now are some guinea pigs. Meet Ethan, Chica, Terry,
15:48Robin and Sparky. They're going to be turned from this into this. By creating three-dimensional
15:56graphic avatars of our men, the women judging them can't be influenced by anything other than
16:02their dance moves. And stop. These reflective markers record the movement each man makes
16:09when they dance. And this information is then used to create their avatar. Oh, we have to
16:15stop the film there because we don't want to give our men's moves away. So it's back
16:21to the studio to start the experiment. So that was the science and we've just seen them
16:28in the clip. So let's meet our dancers. Okay, we've got Chica, Terry, Ethan, Sparky and Robin.
16:35Now, one of these men has been scientifically classed as having the dance moves that are the
16:39most attractive. Now we just need some women to judge them. Please welcome Zoo Fever cheerleaders.
16:52So ladies, this is how it's going to work. We're going to show you all five of our men dancing,
16:56but in their avatar form. We've also removed the music they're dancing to,
17:00so you're judging purely on their moves. And all you have to do is write down the one you find the
17:04most attractive and we'll find out at the end if the person that the majority of you have picked
17:08matches what the science says. So let's see some dancing. Here's our first guy.
17:15Oh, he's got a move. He's got a move. It's a bit salsa-ish, right? Yeah, if that's a salsa,
17:21you don't want to double dip in that. What do we think? First of all, a salsa. A bit rigid.
17:27A bit rigid? A bit rigid. That's quite, uh, that can sometimes be a compliment.
17:34Okay, let's see. Number two.
17:38Oh, hello. See? That's what I saw earlier on. Dad dancing. Is that dad dancing?
17:45Oh, he got, he did a bit of head though. But you, that's what you were saying. It's all from
17:48the waist up, isn't it? There's a lot of waist up. It's very, exactly. Obviously, someone is very
17:52like this, but they're giving you... You see, I'm at the age where I'm looking at that going,
17:56I like that. So, uh, Jessica, what did you think? Do you know what? You've got to give him credit
18:00for going for it. Yeah. Like, he's having fun. You can't argue with that. In case you're wondering,
18:04whoever it is, she's patronizing it. It's time for our third guy.
18:12Oh, a bit of air guitar. There's a bit of air guitar there. Oh, then he's giving some jerk
18:16in there as well. Okay. What's that? He's going for a high five and there's no one there.
18:21There's, there's, there's some original moves in there. I'm just saying. Yeah. Okay, Freyana,
18:26what did we think? Um, I think he was quite groovy. Quite, um, yeah, quite strong. I quite
18:31like a man who plays a guitar. So, yeah, but you do know there was no guitar. I know, I know.
18:35You like a man who plays a guitar. Do you like a man who can't afford one?
18:40Okay, let's see the next one.
18:41Oh, hello. This is very much, you know, when someone puts their head down, they're very much
18:45like, just vigilant there and they're just giving you whatever that may be over here. And yeah,
18:50it's very... Is that a good thing? No. What do you think, Ellen? Um, this move, like, I really don't
18:57like it. I see it in clubs all the time. Like, guys my age are like doing this and I'm like...
19:02What's wrong with that? Peter Crouch does it. Okay, let's have a look at number five.
19:07Oh, hello. Now, look at that. He did a little spin, didn't he? A little ballet spin at the end.
19:12What do we think, Rosie? I don't know. I like this. He's got some confidence. He's using his
19:17whole body. Yeah. He looks like the kind of guy who knows what he's doing. Got a bit of talent.
19:20I think that's attractive. Oh, hello. Finally, we found one. So, you've seen all our men down there.
19:26Yeah, I've seen all of them. I've seen all of them. I've seen all of them. I've seen all of them.
19:30I think that's attractive. Oh, hello. Finally, we found one.
19:34So, you've seen all our men dancing. So, ladies, it's time for you to write down which avatar had
19:39the moves that you found the most attractive. Now, before we reveal who our ladies have picked,
19:44let's see who should come out as the most attractive according to the scientists.
19:49Okay, so because this guy shows lots of variability and size of upper body movements,
19:55we predict that the women will think that this guy is the most attractive dancer
19:59and that is Sparky. So, it's Sparky. And just so you know, that was Sparky,
20:03was avatar number five. Look at Sparky again, just to remind ourselves.
20:08I'm not going to lie. There's certain parts that I think he's going to start doing some breakdancing.
20:13I like that. I like that.
20:18What I like about that is you're clearly a man who isn't afraid to not act his age and I like that.
20:24So, it was genuinely a compliment. Honestly, you just...
20:27It should be a 53.
20:29You're not 53.
20:29Go on.
20:30Good God, and you've still got a ponytail. What's the matter with you?
20:35Sort it out.
20:38Right, it's time to see if our ladies went for Sparky as the science predicted. So,
20:42don't forget, we're hoping for lots of number fives. So, let's have a look. Ladies,
20:46all at once, please turn your cards round.
20:49That is almost a clean sweep. We've got one, two, three, four, five, six, eight out of ten.
20:54So, there you have it. Eight of our girls went for Sparky.
20:57There clearly are certain dance moves that women find more attractive.
21:01And just to prove it really was you, Sparky, give us a few moves.
21:04I'm sexy and I love it.
21:11And thanks to all our dancers and the Zoo Fever cheerleaders.
21:24So, it's time to give your marks out of ten. Bob?
21:30I'd like to give Aston nine points, please.
21:32That's a very generous nine. Thank you, Bob.
21:35I'd also like to give Aston nine. I would have given him the full ten
21:38had he shown a little bit more of his own perfect manoeuvrability.
21:42You would have liked to have seen the Aston backflip, wouldn't you?
21:44I'd like to have just seen him bust something out, not saying what.
21:48Do you know what? You got eight out of ten, so I'm going to give you eight out of ten.
21:51Can't say fairer than that.
21:52So, let's add that up and see where you are on the leaderboard.
21:56Oh, Aston Merigold, 26 points.
22:00So, last but not least, Bob, it's your turn. Tell us your facts.
22:03Well, this has always fascinated me since the first day I heard it.
22:06Oh.
22:06Laughing 100 times uses up the equivalent calories
22:11of being on an exercise bike at full pelt mind for 10 minutes.
22:15That's a lot of laughing, though.
22:16Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:18Oh, no, I don't think you can count the ha.
22:21That's one.
22:21Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:22That's one.
22:23No, that's six.
22:24Oh, you can't count every ha, surely?
22:26Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:26Oh, well, then I'm done for. I'm doomed.
22:29To be more accurate with it, every time you exhale during a laugh...
22:35That counts as a laugh.
22:36Yeah.
22:36So, if you go ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, that's one.
22:39That's fine.
22:39And if you go ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:44I don't know, my wife's laughing when I'm doing it.
22:46Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:49Through the tears.
22:50Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:52Oh, wow.
22:53Like, for example, Santa, he's not a big laugher, he's just ho, ho, ho.
22:59Right.
22:59Right, look at the size of it.
23:01They're individual ones, because each one's a breath of ho, ho, ho.
23:04Because he's not doing it in a proper cardiovascular way.
23:06Exactly.
23:06He was doing it more hearty.
23:08Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
23:09Like Brian Blessed.
23:10Yeah, ha, ho, he must be fit.
23:13So, you're actually, I would say you're probably better off stood next to the exercise bike,
23:17laughing at the person on the exercise bike.
23:20Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:21Okay, well, you've heard what this lot think, but join us after the break,
23:24when we'll see what happens when laughing and cycling go head to head.
23:33Welcome back to Duck Facts don't echo,
23:35the show that puts extraordinary facts to the test.
23:38Now, before the break, Bob told us laughing 100 times
23:40is the equivalent to 10 minutes on an exercise bike.
23:43So, let's see the experiment.
23:47So, let's see the experiment.
23:52Whether it's body pump, body combat or body balance,
23:58no gimmick can make burning calories fun.
24:02But what if simple laughing could be the sweat-free equivalent to going to the gym?
24:07Let's ask an expert.
24:08Laughter can increase heart rates and ventilation
24:13and use respiratory muscles and other muscles around the body
24:17such that the calorific expenditure of laughter
24:19can be approximately 50 calories for about 100 laughs.
24:23And it has been proposed that these 100 laughs
24:26would be the equivalent of rowing or cycling for about 10 minutes.
24:30This sounds too good to be true.
24:33But before you cancel that direct debit to the gym,
24:36let's put this theory to the test.
24:41For this test, we needed three volunteers
24:43and special gas masks to record their breathing.
24:47Using the latest respiratory monitoring equipment,
24:51we were able to calculate their energy expenditure
24:54and therefore how many calories were burnt.
24:58We took our three volunteers to this lab
25:00to find out how many calories they would burn
25:03during 10 minutes on an exercise bike.
25:07With this data, we can compare how many calories were burnt
25:10during 10 minutes on an exercise bike and then 100 laughs.
25:15So, after 10 minutes of hard cycling,
25:18our volunteers were able to burn an average of 49 calories.
25:23In order to make sure the two tests were equal,
25:26we gave our volunteers some downtime.
25:29Then we came up with several ways to get them laughing
25:33and we were able to calculate how many calories were burnt.
25:38We started off with tickling
25:39by strapping each volunteer into a chair.
25:43The test was particularly effective on this volunteer.
25:52Then we needed another laughing technique.
25:55We showed them a series of funny clips to get them laughing.
25:58But getting 100 laughs is a big task.
26:01Fortunately, we discovered fake laughing
26:04does the same calorific job as natural laughing.
26:07We would anticipate that fake laughter
26:10would also be a legitimate test of our hypothesis
26:13because we'd expect that the heart rate,
26:16the ventilatory demands, the cardiovascular demands
26:18and the activation of the muscles of the face and the stomach
26:22all to be engaged in the same way that they would
26:24during spontaneous laughter.
26:27So, now we were ready to complete the experiment
26:30with some fake laughing.
26:31We showed them a series of funny clips
26:34to complete the experiment with some fake laughing.
26:37We found our very own laughter expert.
26:42After doing some warm-up exercises,
26:45they were ready to fake laugh.
26:48What you're looking to do is to allow the fake laugh
26:51to turn into the real thing.
26:53LAUGHTER
27:03So, after 100 laughs, it was time to get the results.
27:09Using the best data across the three tests,
27:11we calculated for 10 minutes of exercise,
27:14our volunteers burnt, on average, 49 calories.
27:19And for 100 laughs, they burnt, on average, 151 calories.
27:24That's over 100 calories more
27:26than what they lost on the exercise bike.
27:29The results are staggering and prove that more calories
27:32were indeed lost through laughing than on a cycle machine.
27:36APPLAUSE
27:40There you go.
27:42What do we think?
27:45That...
27:47Firstly, their exercise, they weren't exercising,
27:49they were just literally strolling.
27:51I think we have a dubious person here.
27:53No, that was a bit of a liberty.
27:55LAUGHTER
27:57My grandad used to swear, he used to do, like,
27:59two hours of, like, manic laughing every morning
28:01when he used to wake up.
28:02But in them days, they had a name for it, it was called shell shock.
28:05LAUGHTER
28:07OK, now, we've tested Bob's facts.
28:09Aston and Sue, what marks are you giving it out of 10?
28:12Firstly, Sue.
28:13I'm going to give Bob 10 out of 10.
28:15A full 10? Yeah, because, quite frankly,
28:17this is going to revolutionise my exercise regime.
28:20LAUGHTER
28:22I'm going to say a 7.
28:24I don't know what to give, because, like, the audience tonight
28:26have been really good laughers, and I'm looking around,
28:28and they look an absolute bloody mess.
28:30LAUGHTER
28:32I think I'm going to give it an 8.
28:34Let's see what that puts you on the leaderboard, Bob.
28:36Bob, you're enjoying second place.
28:38It's running fast. It's tight.
28:40The tight one's the night.
28:42It's the tight one tonight!
28:44It should go anyway.
28:46So, Aston is sitting at the top of the leaderboard with 26 points,
28:48but everything could change in our next round.
28:50It's time for Fact Finder.
28:52APPLAUSE
28:54Yes, it's not just my guests who brought in facts.
28:56APPLAUSE
28:58We've also asked our studio audience to ring in theirs, too.
29:00Bob, Aston and Sue have sifted through them
29:02and picked out the one they love the most
29:04in the hope that it will win them the most points.
29:06Sue, you're first. Who have you picked?
29:08I've picked lovely...
29:11I'm hoping now she's lovely. Kim Rose.
29:13Kim Rose, with a name like that...
29:15It's a man!
29:17It's a man or a really ugly woman.
29:19I can't let go.
29:21Sorry, darling, I've picked the deeply masculine Kim Rose.
29:23Do people often think you're a woman and get confused?
29:25I get a lot of funny mail, yes.
29:27Funny mail?
29:29I think with a name like Kim Rose, you're the funny mail.
29:31LAUGHTER
29:33Tell me, Kim, what's your fact?
29:35My fact is that a lost wallet
29:37will most likely be returned to you
29:40if it has a photo of a baby inside.
29:42Have you got evidence of this?
29:44Yes.
29:46Did you put your own baby in the wallet?
29:48Yes, I did.
29:50And it got lost?
29:52Well, the wallet did.
29:54Not the baby, obviously.
29:56You genuinely lost a wallet with a picture of your baby?
29:58I lost my wallet in 1995, when my daughter was about eight months.
30:00And when did you get it back?
30:02Three weeks ago.
30:04When my daughter turned up
30:06as an 18-year-old girl
30:08and said, I've spent all the money, can you do me washing?
30:10LAUGHTER
30:12I got it back within a couple of days.
30:14Member of the public walked into the police station.
30:16The desk sergeant asked,
30:18why have you been so honest?
30:20Did he say it like that?
30:22Why have you been so honest?
30:24Are you an idiot?
30:26You could have had that.
30:28Don't worry, I'll have it.
30:30I lost my wallet.
30:32It had a picture of my baby in it,
30:34but the baby was smoking, so I don't know whether that...
30:37And it wasn't returned?
30:39It wasn't ever returned, never saw it again.
30:41So that's what we think of Sue's chosen audience fact.
30:43Now, we can't test it,
30:45because we've only just heard it tonight,
30:47so we've got a panel of boffins to do the hard work for us.
30:49So please welcome rocket scientist Dr Simon Foster,
30:51expert in cell biology and genetics Dr Emily Grossman,
30:53and chemical engineer David Walton.
30:55It's our Verifiers!
30:57APPLAUSE
30:59So tell me, Verifiers, is there any truth in this?
31:01Amazingly, it is actually true.
31:03Scientists placed wallets
31:05on the streets in Edinburgh,
31:07and they found that only 15% of them got returned.
31:09But if they put a baby photo in the wallet,
31:11a whopping 88% of wallets got returned.
31:13So the baby photo was triggering the finder
31:15to have a more caring response.
31:17And that actually makes sense,
31:19because evolutionarily,
31:21our brains are hardwired
31:23to make us have warm and caring feelings
31:25when we see small children,
31:27so that we protect them and look after them.
31:29And that's because there's a hormone
31:31called oxytocin that's released in the brain,
31:34and it makes us feel all soft and fluffy
31:36when we see cute things.
31:38And interestingly, if they put a picture
31:40of a cute puppy in the wallet,
31:42more of them came back as well,
31:44but not as much as the baby.
31:46So if you have a toddler holding a Labrador,
31:48does it create a sort of critical oxytocin sort of mass?
31:50People just start...
31:52Sort of tear ducts explode.
31:54I wonder what would come bottom of the list.
31:56Maybe a photograph of a hammer?
31:58Of a hammer?
32:00Or MC Hammer?
32:03People would think,
32:05I can't touch that.
32:07LAUGHTER
32:09APPLAUSE
32:11So, OK, well, it sounds like that's true.
32:13And of course, Dr Emily knows what she's talking about,
32:15because Dr Emily Grossman, let me tell you,
32:17is an expert on the human gen...
32:19Genome? Is it genome?
32:21Genome.
32:23The garden genome.
32:25No, Dr Emily is an expert on the human genome,
32:27DNA and cell division,
32:29which coincidentally, I am also an expert
32:31Really? Sorry, no, I mean, sausages.
32:33LAUGHTER
32:35So, we'll score it at the end,
32:37once we've heard everyone's facts.
32:39OK, who's next? It's Aston. What have you gone for?
32:41I've gone for Mr Chris Knott.
32:43Chris Knott?
32:45Hello.
32:47What's your fact?
32:49People with blue eyes have a higher alcohol tolerance.
32:51People with blue eyes have a higher alcohol tolerance?
32:53Yes.
32:55I know people with red eyes have less alcohol tolerance.
32:57And how do you know this?
33:00It's not really a solid grounding, but I heard it in a bar,
33:02so we tested it.
33:04LAUGHTER
33:06So, people with blue eyes have a higher tolerance to alcohol?
33:08I've sort of got a hazily eye,
33:10a blue sort of green, I've been told.
33:12You've got blue eyes?
33:14I've seen you've got blue eyes.
33:16I know I've got a very high tolerance to crack.
33:18LAUGHTER
33:20You've got brown eyes.
33:22Have you got low tolerance to alcohol?
33:24I'm lucky, touch wood, I don't get hangovers.
33:26Right.
33:29I mean, I've woken up from hangovers
33:31and I've had a shit on the windowsill.
33:33LAUGHTER
33:35And I've got brown eyes.
33:37It was you.
33:39My mum had blue eyes and she never did that.
33:41Your mum never did crap on the windowsill?
33:43No.
33:45I'll tell you what she did when she came round mine.
33:47LAUGHTER
33:49I've lost track of the original fact that Chris said.
33:51So, OK, verifiers, what do we think?
33:53Amazingly, this is true.
33:55In America, a study was done with 10,000 prison inmates
33:57into the effects of alcohol on them
33:59and they found that people with brown eyes
34:01felt the effect of alcohol
34:03at far lower levels than people with blue eyes.
34:05So they do have a higher tolerance of alcohol.
34:07But it is a downside
34:09because to feel the same effect
34:11as a brown-eyed person,
34:13the blue-eyed person needs to drink more.
34:15This means it's going to have a really long-term effect
34:17on their body
34:19and it's also going to have a long-term effect on their wallet.
34:21So it's not all good.
34:23Does it apply to things like feeling full and stuff?
34:26You have to eat a lot more trifle to feel full.
34:28No, I don't think it goes that far.
34:30I'm genuinely impressed with that fact.
34:32Finally, Bob, whose fact have you picked out?
34:34Matt Taylor.
34:36Matt Taylor, where are you?
34:38I'm over here.
34:40OK, tell us your fact.
34:42My fact is, the shorter your index finger,
34:44the more masculine you are.
34:46Hang on, hang on. How do you define masculinity?
34:48I didn't really find it.
34:50Define, not find.
34:52LAUGHTER
34:55That's the kind of thing a drunk bloke would say
34:57when he's going for a week and the light's not working.
34:59How do I define your masculinity?
35:01LAUGHTER
35:03How do you define masculinity?
35:05Masculinity of being manly
35:07and, I suppose, rough around the edges
35:09and a bit butch, I suppose.
35:11You're saying that camp men will have
35:13hugely long index fingers.
35:15Like E.T.
35:17E.T., now he was a camp little alien.
35:19LAUGHTER
35:21He was, wasn't he?
35:23Oh, that big finger he's got.
35:25Oh, look at the dust on that.
35:27LAUGHTER
35:29Let's look at yours. Yours is a bit of control.
35:31I've got long fingers.
35:33All of mine are quite long.
35:35But Aston's got long fingers, I can tell as well.
35:37I have short stubby fingers,
35:39but I can run fast, I can dance, I can use an axe.
35:41LAUGHTER
35:43So, OK.
35:45Well, this is an interesting one.
35:47Let's see what our verifiers think.
35:49Well, yes, it is actually related,
35:52but the ratio of the fingers,
35:54what the University of Liverpool found
35:56was that the ratio of your index finger
35:58to your ring finger
36:00in most men was about
36:02the same size.
36:04They think it's to do with the fact
36:06that at about nine weeks old in the womb,
36:08at the same time as the
36:10constraints of your body are being laid down,
36:12so is an influx of oestrogen
36:14and testosterone,
36:16the two sex-determining hormones,
36:18and that that actually does
36:21influence both your masculinity
36:23and the ratio of the fingers of your hands.
36:25I bet your bedtime stories to your kids
36:27goes on a bit, doesn't it?
36:29LAUGHTER
36:31That is interesting, isn't it?
36:33Because I know what you mean now.
36:35So what you're saying is your ring finger
36:37and your index finger, like for me,
36:39it's pretty much level.
36:41Maybe that's why...
36:43Because maybe Dr Spock used to do that
36:45because he didn't want people to see
36:47in proportion to that.
36:49After the break,
36:51we'll find out who picked the best one
36:53and who will be tonight's winner
36:55and get the privilege of helping me
36:57prove my very own fact.
36:59Don't go away.
37:01APPLAUSE
37:03Welcome back.
37:05Before the break,
37:07each of our guests chose
37:09their favourite fact from the audience.
37:11Our verifiers have given us their verdict,
37:13but how many points have they awarded each fact?
37:15Let's find out.
37:18LAUGHTER
37:20A lost wallet's more likely to be returned
37:22if you put a photo of a baby in it.
37:24Verifiers, how many points are we going to give that?
37:26This was absolutely true.
37:28People feel more warm and caring
37:30and so more likely to be honest
37:32and return the wallet because they care about the person.
37:34So we're going to give it ten points.
37:36APPLAUSE
37:38I wasn't expecting that.
37:40Ashton, remind us of your fact.
37:42Mr Chris Knott gave us this fact
37:44and it was people with blue eyes
37:46have a higher alcohol tolerance.
37:48So, verifiers, how many points are we going to give that?
37:50Well, amazingly, this is true,
37:52but it can lead to some unfortunate consequences
37:54so we're going to give it eight.
37:56APPLAUSE
37:58And finally, Bob, which fact did you go for?
38:00My fact came from Matt Taylor
38:02and the fact was the shorter your index finger,
38:04the more masculine you are.
38:06Verifiers, how many points for that one?
38:08Well, we thought about this one.
38:10We thought because the research never really
38:12defined what masculinity means
38:15and because they still haven't come up with a good theory
38:17as to why this is the case,
38:19we're only going to give it five, I'm afraid.
38:21APPLAUSE
38:23So let's put all that up onto the leaderboard
38:25and see the final scores.
38:27In third place is Bob Mortimer,
38:29Ashton Merigold in second.
38:31Tonight's winner with 35 points is Sue Perkins.
38:33APPLAUSE
38:35CHEERING
38:37APPLAUSE
38:39OK, well done, Sue.
38:41You've won tonight's show, but more importantly,
38:44you've won my fact, which is
38:46one of the safest places to be during lightning
38:48is in your car.
38:50Now, normally on this show, only our winner
38:52helps me out with my fact,
38:54but there's going to be plenty of room in the car
38:56so you're all coming with me.
38:58So let's test it out.
39:00It's time for Max Fact.
39:02APPLAUSE
39:04Now, as you can see, we don't have a car
39:06or anything resembling lightning
39:08that can shoot thousands of volts of electricity at us.
39:10And the reason is this experiment
39:12is so dangerous, genuinely,
39:14that we need to conduct it in a safe, confined area
39:16to ensure we don't accidentally kill anyone.
39:18Is this exciting or what?
39:20So, while we get changed
39:22and make our way over to the experiment area,
39:24let's find out from David Wharton
39:26about why your car is so safe when lightning strikes.
39:28Let's go.
39:30There are two principles we need to keep in mind here.
39:32One is that a car is made of metal
39:34and metal atoms very quickly
39:36and easily lose their outer electrons
39:38which are negatively charged.
39:41And the other principle
39:43is that like charges will always repel each other
39:45and unlike charges will react.
39:47Now, consider a car,
39:49not as a car, but as a cage,
39:51we call it a Faraday cage,
39:53with the people inside it.
39:55It gets hit by a lightning bolt
39:57that's a huge negative charge.
39:59All the electrons immediately get pushed off atoms
40:01and go to the other side of the car
40:03leaving positive charge
40:05under the lightning bolt.
40:07This balance of charge cancels out
40:10and because the charge goes on the outside of the car
40:12the inside
40:14is perfectly neutral and sound.
40:16I personally
40:18would rather be inside that car
40:20with Lemac than outside it.
40:22So, team,
40:24welcome to my secret garage.
40:26This is where I always bring the guests after the show
40:28to kill them.
40:30If you look above you, you will see
40:32there is an enormous piece of kit dangling
40:34and that is called a Tesla coil
40:36and that is what is going to shoot
40:38375,000 volts of electricity
40:40directly at this car
40:42which we will be sat in.
40:44So how do we feel, Bob?
40:46Wow, lightning is going to shoot from that
40:48It's going to shoot from this little point right at the end there
40:50and hit the top of that car.
40:52Well, I'll be honest with you, I can't wait.
40:54I'm glad you can't wait.
40:56No, that's a little bit, yeah.
40:58Yeah, no, it's a freaky thing, isn't it?
41:00I mean, anything could happen, but, you know.
41:02Well, yeah, I'm just getting...
41:04This is the prize to be electrocuted in a car.
41:07This is the prize.
41:09So let's get inside.
41:15So, yeah, now, in all seriousness,
41:17I'm not joking now, I've got to check this.
41:19You've had the check, haven't you, about whether you've got a pacemaker.
41:21This isn't a joke. You've been asked, haven't you?
41:23Yeah.
41:25And you know that you've been asked about the fillings, right?
41:27So, you can't have pacemakers, you can't have fillings in your mouth.
41:29Hearing aid?
41:31No, you can have a hearing aid, but just no fillings.
41:33Vibrating love eggs?
41:36Have you brought your eggs, though?
41:38Do you know what?
41:40The fillings is a joke, obviously.
41:42Metal teeth?
41:44Yeah, you're dead.
41:46I think if I was you, Bob, I'd be more worried about that metal plate in your head.
41:48No, I have got metal teeth.
41:50What do you mean you've got metal teeth?
41:52I was explaining to you earlier,
41:54I've got seven pegs of titanium
41:56in my upper jaw,
41:58and they stick these teeth to them.
42:00And you tell us this now,
42:02seconds before we're going to electrocute you in a car,
42:04with 375,000...
42:06Hey, just go for it, it's my fault, I accept that.
42:08I shouldn't have said.
42:10Right, here we go.
42:12So, I think all I can say is,
42:14let's zap us.
42:28That's a worry.
42:30The monitor's gone off.
42:33It's terrifying.
42:35It's like being in a horror film.
42:37Do you know this is how they get
42:39Bruce Forsyth to work in the morning?
42:43This sounds like every track on Radio 1 after midnight.
42:47I feel like this is the worst dogging session I've ever been to.
42:49How are you feeling?
42:51I think I've lost some of the voices in my head.
42:53The percentage of them.
42:55So there's the proof.
42:57One of the safest places to be during lightning
42:59is in a car.
43:01Fact-proof.
43:03That's all for tonight.
43:05A huge thanks to my guests, Bob Mortimer,
43:07Sue Perkins, and Astrid Merigold.
43:09We'll see you next time, goodnight.
43:11How do we get out?
43:13Go through the sunroof.
43:19I'm only joking, right.
43:21Okay, here we go.
43:25This is genuinely the first time they've let me hold a blowtorch
43:27since the incident.
43:31They didn't have us foxed, did they,
43:33apart from the tortilla chip one.
43:35Tomorrow night from 9, Laurel's finding it hard
43:37to buy Sebastian's stories.
43:39They catch up with Arrow,
43:41and telling fibs seems to be the thing to do.
43:43Although Nurse Jackie's attempting to go clean,
43:45the brand new season continues next night
43:47over on Sky Atlantic Plus One.