First broadcast 1st September 2014.
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Davina McCall
Paddy McGuinness
Stephen Mangan
Bella Dubois
Tahl Holtzman
Christian Kennett
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Davina McCall
Paddy McGuinness
Stephen Mangan
Bella Dubois
Tahl Holtzman
Christian Kennett
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:21Hello, and welcome to Duckpatch Don't Echo.
00:23This is a show where we put unbelievable facts to the test.
00:26We've asked each of our guests to find their own favourite fact
00:29which we'll be scrutinising under strict scientific conditions.
00:32So who have we got with us tonight?
00:34An interesting fact about my first guest is that when he auditioned
00:37for the show Episodes, Matt LeBlanc's advice was,
00:40don't suck, which is the opposite to most auditions I've been to.
00:44LAUGHTER
00:45Please welcome Stephen Mannion.
00:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:53A fact about my next guest, and this is honestly true,
00:56is that he once got frisky in the kitchen with his wife
00:59and ended up in A&E after sitting on some chopped chillies.
01:02LAUGHTER
01:04To this day, he still can't listen to the Johnny Cash song Ring Of Fire.
01:08Please welcome Penny McGuinness.
01:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:13Thank you. It's true.
01:15It is, it is true. It is true.
01:17Right on.
01:19And an interesting fact about my final guest is that she has a picture
01:22of an extraterrestrial tattooed on her bottom,
01:25which means whenever she drops her trousers,
01:27she proves that aliens exist on the moon.
01:29Please welcome Davina McCall.
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:36So, this is a show all about extraordinary and slightly bizarre facts.
01:40For example, you can tell if a pair of trousers will fit you
01:44by wrapping them round your neck.
01:46And if you don't believe me, have a look at this.
01:49Now, these trousers are not my trousers, they're too small, OK?
01:53So, if I wrap them round my neck, you will see.
01:56They don't fit, OK?
01:59Whose trousers are they? Like, Jeanette Cranky's trousers?
02:02LAUGHTER
02:04They're too small for Warwick Davis.
02:07And then you get the ones that are too big.
02:09Like that.
02:11Ian Cranky.
02:13LAUGHTER
02:16But then, these are genuinely my trousers, right?
02:19These are genuinely my trousers.
02:21So, you put them over your shoulder like that.
02:24Perfect fit.
02:26Wow.
02:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:30Thank you.
02:34Men and women?
02:35Men and women, yeah.
02:36So, if you actually... In fact, have you brought...
02:38In fact, Davina, have you got trousers? I have.
02:40Just let me check the minor size 30 waist.
02:44LAUGHTER
02:46Look at that. That's how Simon Cowell actually wears them.
02:50Davina, let's have a look. Yes, perfect.
02:53I feel like Simon's just sitting there.
02:55I do.
02:57It's impossible to crush an egg
03:00when you hold it at the top and the bottom.
03:02No. Yes.
03:04You doubt me, but look what I've got here. I've got some eggs.
03:06They're not hard-boiled. They're not hard-boiled. Thank you.
03:08Now, be careful with this, cos you've got to hold them
03:10exactly at the top and exactly at the bottom, all right?
03:12I mean, if you want to play safe, you do it with your finger
03:14and your thumb like that, you'll never be able to do it like that.
03:16I'll play it safe.
03:18You're upsetting me that I can't do it.
03:22Let me do like Uri Geller. Break. Break.
03:25I'm going to lay an egg and crush this any harder.
03:27Wow, that was so...
03:29It's incredible, isn't it? This is the science.
03:31I know this, I'm not reading it.
03:33The shape of the egg distributes the applied pressure evenly all over.
03:37I'm looking at the egg, I'm concentrating, I'm not reading.
03:39This means no one place on the egg will feel a force large enough to break it.
03:43So the pressure also forces the eggshell together to make it stronger.
03:46They are apparently the perfect structural shape for pressure.
03:49I say perfect structural shape, there's a few chickens watching this
03:52going, they could be a bit thinner when they come out my arse.
03:57OK, all our guests have brought facts, but who will be voted the best?
04:00It's time for round one, Fact Off.
04:07Stephen Mangan, you're up first. What's your fact?
04:10My fact is, after a conversation with an attractive woman,
04:15men are less able to perform mental tasks.
04:19Yes. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
04:21And the same is not true of women.
04:24Oh. The reverse is not true of women.
04:27When I say mental tasks, I don't mean jumping out of a second-floor window
04:30into a pond, I mean stuff...
04:34Stuff where you use your brain.
04:36So what you're saying is basically when you're looking at an attractive woman,
04:39it's almost like the blood isn't going round your head properly,
04:42almost as if it was somewhere else,
04:44but where would it be?
04:46Well, I mean, it all comes down to multitasking.
04:48When women look at men, I don't care how attractive the man is,
04:51I think they're like Benedict Cumberbatch and Sherlock,
04:53they just scan them and they can tell their personal hygiene,
04:56how much they earn a year, where they live,
04:58what they smell like, will they be a good kisser?
05:00Yes. They're like...
05:02Oh, no, you can't tell about the kisser, you can only tell about the kiss when you kiss.
05:05Thank God for that.
05:06Because you think that they might be a good kisser and then you kiss them
05:08and they're not a good kisser and it's a total turn-off.
05:10How do you judge whether someone's a good kisser?
05:12You know what I mean, before the kiss?
05:13If you get the fire.
05:14The fire?
05:15The fire.
05:16He got the fire, didn't he?
05:18Yes, I did.
05:19That was too much fire.
05:21How did that happen? I've got to know. What happened?
05:23Well, you know, when you're just in a relationship,
05:26you know, and you kind of do things off the cuff.
05:29I do things off the cuff before I'm in a relationship.
05:32I'd cooked some chilli earlier and I left the chilli seeds on the worktop,
05:36not thinking I was ever going to be on there naked.
05:38No.
05:39I jumped on there and it was immediate pain.
05:43Oh, my God.
05:44Yeah, yeah, yeah, let the ring see the sting.
05:48What was funny, I went to A&E and I went,
05:51oh, it's like, oh, it's all right,
05:53like as though it's a normal thing in Bolton.
05:56Oh, yeah, chilli up the rectum.
05:58Did you tell her the truth?
06:00Well, there's no lying, is there?
06:01Oh, I accidentally fell over in a chilli field naked.
06:06So what you're saying is that men looking at attractive women...
06:09Yeah. ..can't do anything else.
06:11It works after they've had a conversation with them
06:13and apparently it works even if they're just thinking
06:16about having a conversation with an attractive woman.
06:19But I also think that women also go doolally when they see a hot bloke.
06:23Well, do you know what? There's a good way of testing this.
06:25I need to see some proper evidence.
06:27Let's take a look at the experiment.
06:36We all know the power a lady can have over a man,
06:39but is it so strong that it can influence his mental ability?
06:44Here's Dr Bella Dubois to explain.
06:46We need to understand the scale of the impact
06:50that the presence of a very attractive woman can have on a male brain.
06:58Oh, so sorry, I wasn't concentrating there.
07:01Can we have another expert?
07:03If a heterosexual guy is given a task to do, such as a crossword,
07:07and there happens to be a very beautiful woman present,
07:10it's quite likely he'll divert his attention to focus on the woman
07:13because he's biologically programmed to select a mate and pass on his genes.
07:17Hmm, that sounds a bit caveman-like, though.
07:21By doing the crossword, he might be reducing his chances of finding a mate
07:25and allowing other rivals to take his place.
07:29That was much clearer.
07:31Don't do crosswords if you want to get lucky.
07:34But could we prove this in real life?
07:38This is our Duck Quacks Don't Echo test centre.
07:42We've told these five men that we're testing them
07:45to look at the differing mental abilities of men and women.
07:49What they didn't realise is they were guinea pigs in a test
07:52to see if talking to attractive women
07:54would affect their ability to perform a mental task.
07:58Firstly, having spent time exclusively in male company,
08:02each man faced a famous psychological test known as the Stroop test.
08:07Are you ready? Yep, ready. Fantastic. Let's go.
08:09Designed to measure processing speeds, all they had to do was look at 50 cards.
08:14Purple.
08:15And as quickly as possible, say out loud the colour of the ink the word was written in.
08:20Yellow.
08:21Green.
08:22Yellow.
08:23Red.
08:24The problem was that the colour of the ink
08:26rarely matched the name of the colour written on the card.
08:29Red.
08:30Yellow.
08:31And green.
08:32Our scientists measured the time it took to identify the colour and complete the test.
08:37Green.
08:38And before any female conversation whatsoever,
08:41the average time for our men to complete the test was 65 seconds.
08:48Now unbeknownst to the guys, it's time for the real test.
08:52Bring on the girls.
08:56We enrolled three attractive female volunteers
08:59to pose as researchers on our production team.
09:03Having rigged the studio with hidden cameras,
09:06our unsuspecting guinea pigs now got to spend time with the girls.
09:10All in the name of science, of course.
09:12Hey, how are you?
09:13We're just going to ask you some questions.
09:15First of all, what's your name?
09:16Jordan.
09:17How did you find the test?
09:18Yeah, it was all right.
09:19One of the questions to see
09:20was whether a little bit of friendly conversation
09:22would shift the men from being mentally focused
09:25to being biologically focused.
09:27How old are you, Nick?
09:2842.
09:29I don't look a day over 25.
09:32How would you describe yourself?
09:34I'm honest and I'm fun.
09:40Lovely meeting you, ladies.
09:41So what would five minutes of female attention do to our men?
09:49The men faced exactly the same test again.
09:52After taking an average of 65 seconds the first time,
09:55you'd expect our guinea pigs to be faster
09:58now they knew how the test worked.
10:00Purple.
10:01Red.
10:03Yellow.
10:05Purple.
10:06Green.
10:07Red.
10:08Green.
10:09But no.
10:10This time, they seemed slower and less focused,
10:13almost as if they had something else on their minds.
10:16Red.
10:17Red.
10:19Blue.
10:21So, did it make a difference?
10:23Thank you very much.
10:24Fascinatingly, they took an average of 71.4 seconds
10:29to complete the test.
10:30All right, take care, yeah?
10:31Nearly 10% slower than before.
10:36An incredible result.
10:38But I wonder if women would be affected in the same way.
10:42So, in the interests of science, we swapped the genders around.
10:46We took five ladies,
10:48three dashing young chaps posing as researchers
10:51and did the whole thing again.
10:55Remarkably, despite the efforts of our charming gents...
11:00..the results were significantly closer for our female control group.
11:05Their average time before male conversation
11:08was an impressive 63.4 seconds.
11:11And they actually got marginally quicker after chatting to the guys,
11:16getting 60.8 seconds.
11:19So, there we have it.
11:20Scientific proof that if a man spends any time at all
11:23with an attractive woman,
11:25he's programmed to only have one thing on his mind,
11:28and it isn't the colour of words.
11:39The bit on that VT that caused controversy here
11:41was when they said,
11:42they put in three attractive researchers
11:44to pretend they worked on the show.
11:46And the researchers working on this show are going,
11:48why couldn't you have just used us?
11:51What they actually said was,
11:52WHY COULDN'T YOU USE US?!
11:59So, are we buying that, then?
12:01I'm buying that. I'm completely buying that.
12:03I thought that was brilliant.
12:05I wasn't sure about the girls.
12:06I thought that maybe we'd get a bit flummoxed.
12:08Do you think you'll be able to focus this evening?
12:12I don't know if you've noticed,
12:13but I really haven't been on top of my game tonight
12:15because I don't know what to do with myself.
12:17Wow.
12:18On there it said,
12:19if you meet a hot bloke, your attention goes up.
12:21So, what you've actually said is...
12:24Caught me out there.
12:26So, men really are that stupid.
12:27But how impressive was Stephen's fact?
12:29Davina, based on what you've seen,
12:30on a scale of one to ten,
12:32what are you giving his fact?
12:33I found myself nodding and going,
12:35oh, really, that's really amazing.
12:37So, I felt that that was an eight.
12:39An eight? An eight.
12:40I'd go with an eight as well, though.
12:42I'm old school.
12:43Didn't think the girls were attractive enough.
12:44I'm going to give it a one.
12:47So, I'm joking.
12:49If you're watching the girls, you were fantastic.
12:51No, I'm going to give you a six.
12:53Thank you.
12:54So, let's add that all up and see what your total is, Stephen.
12:57Hey, guess what?
12:58You're winning.
12:59Oh, come on.
13:0022 points.
13:01Yes!
13:06So, one fact down, two to go.
13:07Join us after the break when it's Paddy's turn
13:09to try and impress us with his favourite fact.
13:11Don't go away.
13:23Welcome back to DickFacts.eco,
13:25the show that educates you on the stuff
13:27you never thought you needed to know.
13:28Still with me are Stephen Mangan, Paddy McGuinness and Davina McCall.
13:35Before the break, Stephen scored 22 points
13:37by highlighting just how simple men are
13:39when confronted by attractive women.
13:41Next up, it's Paddy.
13:42What have you got for us?
13:43Right, well, you can block a tickle.
13:46No.
13:48Hey!
13:49No.
13:50No.
13:51No, honestly.
13:52That's what happens, you see.
13:53No, because I get really violent.
13:54Well, I'm going to show you.
13:55No, don't tickle me.
13:56I'm going to show you how you can block it.
13:58We really want Davina to get really violent.
14:00Do it again.
14:01No, seriously, no.
14:02I'm going to show...
14:03No, I'm not going to show you, I'm going to explain it to you.
14:05Right.
14:06So, tickling can be nice.
14:07In Madrid, there's the world's first tickle spa.
14:10But when you say tickle spa, it's not unramping.
14:12No, it's a nice, lovely stroke and everything else.
14:15It's stroking.
14:16Yeah, I like a stroke.
14:17Exactly, because there's different types of tickles.
14:21This is like the worst speed dating I've ever seen.
14:25In Madrid, I like a stroke.
14:28Because there's different kinds of tickles.
14:29There's a nice stroke, and if you're kind of out,
14:31you feel a fly on you, and it's like a different type of tickle.
14:34When you get that tickling sensation, your brain...
14:37That's why you can't tickle yourself.
14:39You can try, you can go like that.
14:41Have a little go.
14:42Ever have a go at tickling yourself?
14:44It doesn't work.
14:45It doesn't work, and I'll tell you why.
14:47Because you cannot trick your brain.
14:50Right.
14:52How was it?
14:53It tickled.
14:54It tickled.
14:55Exactly, right.
14:56To stop that, what you have to do,
14:57and this is what doctors do if they're examining you,
14:59you put your hand on top of the doctor's hand.
15:02Wait, wait, wait, whoa.
15:03So, if the doctor's doing something,
15:05surely you must mention this first.
15:07Right, so, yeah.
15:09Now, what the doctor will do, the doctor...
15:13I've got a rather hot rectum from chillies.
15:16Would you have a look?
15:18Don't worry, I'll hold your hand as you have a look.
15:20So, the doctor, if he's examining you,
15:22say your torso, right?
15:24Now, he'll say to you, some doctors will say,
15:26put your hand on his hand.
15:27Oh, he'll tell you this?
15:28Yeah.
15:29So, when your hand's on the doctor's hand,
15:31somebody thinks you're doing the touching,
15:33even though you're not, it's the doctor's hand,
15:35and that's how you trick your brain into doing it.
15:37I tell you what, there's a lot of teenage boys watching this
15:39who'll be pleased that you can convince
15:40that your own hand is someone else's hand.
15:46If you're going to win any points,
15:47we need to see this in action, Paddy,
15:48but before we do, let's get the science behind it.
15:51Being ticklish is an involuntary response
15:53and there are two types of tickles.
15:55The first type is called nismesis
15:58and is caused by very light movement across the skin.
16:01This is the sort of tickle that wouldn't necessarily make you laugh
16:05and can induce a feeling of itchiness.
16:08The second type is called the heavy tickle,
16:10which requires repeated pressure to ticklish areas.
16:14But how can you block a tickle?
16:16The way to block a tickle is by placing your hand
16:19on the tickler's hand.
16:21By doing this, you generate the same motion as the tickler,
16:25which tricks your brain into thinking
16:27that you're the one doing the tickling.
16:29The reason this works is because you can't tickle yourself,
16:33so if you make your brain think you are the one doing the tickling,
16:36you won't feel a thing.
16:42So that's the science, but let's see it for ourselves.
16:44Now, that wasn't obviously the real experiment.
16:46This is the real experiment.
16:47We scoured the nation for the most ticklish people
16:49we could find, Paddy, so let's bring them out.
16:52Let the tickler see the tickly.
16:54I'm going to have to work on that, aren't I?
17:02Paddy, it's very simple.
17:03You need to work your way down this line
17:05and give each person a good tickle.
17:07Once you've tickled them all, you'll try it again,
17:09but that time, they'll be allowed to block you.
17:11Right, arms up, number one, and Paddy will tickle you,
17:15despite the restraining order.
17:19Oh, you had a go.
17:21Come on, mate, you're tickling yourself.
17:23What are you doing to me?
17:25It's like going back for a ninja tickle.
17:28Get back in line, sir.
17:30Do you want to show me on the doll where he touched you?
17:33Number two, put your arms up in the air, please.
17:36Right.
17:38Oh, that's...
17:39Oh, I scurred myself.
17:41I scurred myself.
17:42Number three.
17:43Hands in the air.
17:48She's low threshold on that one.
17:50Away you go, Paddy.
17:54Hang on, you actually just sank into the ground.
17:56Are you really that ticklish?
17:59I just heard a high-pitched noise then. What was that?
18:02You've literally gone five decibels higher, I think,
18:04than before you came into the studio.
18:06OK, number five, you're allowed to put your arms in the air, please.
18:10Away you go.
18:14That genuinely was a bit frightening.
18:16I think we're all a bit concerned for her.
18:18She hasn't been affected by anything you've seen on the show tonight.
18:23Right, I think we've proved that all our experiment people are ticklish.
18:26If you'd like to come back down the line, Paddy.
18:28Now, this time, tickle them in exactly the same place,
18:30but this time they're allowed to block your tickle.
18:32So put your hands...
18:33So you're going to link your fingers in between,
18:35get them right on top of Paddy's,
18:36and Paddy's going to attempt to tickle you and see if it works.
18:41Nothing at all.
18:42Here we go.
18:43Rangers in the night...
18:45I appreciate this is more intimidating.
18:48Number two, I think this was on the neck,
18:50if you want to link fingers with Paddy.
18:52Nice and tight on me hands.
18:53Yeah.
18:54Up north, this is a marriage proposal.
18:56Here we go.
19:01Number three, here we go.
19:03Link arms with Paddy.
19:04Keep them tight on me hands.
19:08I've never seen the jazz tickle before.
19:10That's fantastic.
19:11Number four.
19:12Now, this is the one.
19:13You're the most sensitive.
19:14Yeah.
19:15So if this works, this will prove everything.
19:16Wait, wait.
19:17Wait, wait.
19:19This will take me back to my honeymoon.
19:22Here it is.
19:23I'm going to go nice and tight on me hands.
19:27No, there you go.
19:28It's working, and that's number four, the most sensitive.
19:31Number five.
19:34Nice and tight, nice and tight.
19:35Here we go, for the conclusive evidence, Paddy.
19:41I think that absolutely proves it.
19:43Conclusively, that you really can block a tickle.
19:55So, we've tested Paddy's fat,
19:57but how impressed were you, Stephen and Devena?
19:59Impressed.
20:00Really impressed.
20:01Yeah, I didn't know that.
20:02And, you know, it worked,
20:03and he's assorted half the people here.
20:05Yeah.
20:06So I'm very impressed with that, yeah.
20:07I think just people are too scared to disagree with him now,
20:09aren't they?
20:10Of course they are.
20:11I'm going to give it to you!
20:13So, what are we going to score that, Devena?
20:15Eight.
20:16Eight.
20:17I feel like Len Goodman.
20:18I'm going to go for...
20:19Nine.
20:20A nine?
20:21Yeah, impressive.
20:22I'm going to give it a seven.
20:24A more conservative seven.
20:26So, let's add that all up and see where you are on the leaderboard, Paddy.
20:30You're in the lead with 24 points.
20:38Devena McCall, your time has come.
20:39Tell us your fact.
20:40So, there are certain tunes or pieces of music
20:44that are guaranteed to make babies dance.
20:48It's scientifically proven that there is a certain type of beat...
20:52All right.
20:53..that babies just have to move to.
20:55Definitely specific tunes.
20:57Yes, you know the Teletubbies?
20:58I'm not very aware of the products.
20:59And it goes...
21:00HE HUMS TELETUBBIES
21:03You know that, like that.
21:04I know, yeah.
21:05And have you...?
21:06What was it?
21:07No, yeah, well, they'd probably dance to that as well.
21:09Yeah.
21:10But if you know, like, little babies,
21:11they can just about stand or they'll lean on something and they go...
21:14The music starts and all of them, they always go...
21:19Like that, and they literally can't help themselves.
21:21It's like...
21:22HE HUMS TELETUBBIES
21:24No, they don't do that.
21:25But they, yeah, they have to bounce up and down.
21:27So, it's the beat, it's not specific songs.
21:29It's the beat, it's not about the vocal.
21:31It's not about, necessarily, the musical tune.
21:34It's about the rhythm.
21:35Steve, you've got kids, right?
21:36Two boys.
21:37Two boys.
21:38Yeah.
21:39Are they little dancers?
21:40They are.
21:41They do like a dance.
21:42But you haven't noticed any specific tunes?
21:44They do like...
21:45We Will Rock You gets them going.
21:47We Will Rock You.
21:48Oh, yes!
21:49They don't go...
21:50THEY HUM
21:51They don't go...
21:52THEY HUM
21:53They don't do that, do they?
21:54No.
21:55Hey, hey, hey, hey!
21:56Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
21:58Whoa, whoa!
21:59Hey!
22:02Amazing, amazing!
22:03It's got the start of a rally, yeah.
22:05Just think...
22:06OK, you don't want this lot thinking, so join us after the break
22:09when we'll be putting it to the test.
22:11See you in a bit.
22:12APPLAUSE
22:22Welcome back to Don't Quack, Don't Echo,
22:24the show that gives you the answers you didn't realise
22:26you were searching for.
22:27Before the break, Davina McCall told us that there are certain songs
22:30which are guaranteed to make your baby dance.
22:32So let's see some babies strutting their stuff.
22:34CLICKING
22:38From oldies doing the jive to teenagers doing the Harlem Shake,
22:42everyone has a song that makes them get up and dance.
22:45And amazingly, it's apparently true for simple little gurgling babies too.
22:51Here's a real-life doctor to explain.
22:53Rather than a melody or the sound of a voice,
22:56the most important thing to a baby is the beat.
22:58Recent research suggests that babies respond
23:01to an alternating pattern of low sounds followed by high sounds.
23:04A kick drum followed by a snare or a tambourine, for example.
23:07So even though a baby doesn't necessarily understand why it's dancing,
23:11if a song has this magical beat, then a baby is certain to dance.
23:16So it's time to go where billions of YouTube viewers have gone before.
23:21Cue the dancing babies.
23:25Here are eight of the cutest babies we could find.
23:30In order to test this hypothesis,
23:32we needed to place the babies on their parents' laps.
23:37Made the parents wear noise-cancelling headphones.
23:41And finally, we screened each baby and parent from the rest of the group.
23:47If these babies were to dance, it would be based on the music and the music alone.
23:52And to count as dancing, we're looking for sustained rhythmic kicking
23:56and hand moving or clapping in time to the music.
24:01We wanted to test out some songs that, according to the science,
24:05would not make our babies shake their tail feathers.
24:09To adults, they're all dance floor fillers.
24:12But will our babies agree?
24:14First, a number one from the Tin Tins.
24:22Well, it's not their bag either.
24:24Then, Brazilian samba classic, Musqueenada.
24:30Surely that would get them moving.
24:34Results? Nada.
24:37Finally, Stadium Rocker's Coldplay.
24:46And yes, I have a similar reaction when I hear them too.
24:51So, as the science suggests, three great songs,
24:55but no baby dancing whatsoever.
24:58But why so?
24:59These songs all have irregular syncopated beats
25:02and it would take a baby longer to learn how to dance to them.
25:05Well, that's us told.
25:07So what we needed was a song that fulfils the scientific requirements.
25:12It was time to test Dr Kennett's guaranteed baby dance floor fillers.
25:17Under the same conditions, we first played our babies
25:20ABBA's joyous ode to mothers.
25:23But would it work?
25:28Babies love their mums, and it seems they love ABBA even more.
25:33Then we played them some Katy Perry.
25:39Which clearly got our baby dancers hot and not cold.
25:44And finally, some Beyonce.
25:50Which definitely produced some booty shaking.
25:53And we mean baby booties, not Beyonce booty.
26:01So each of these songs flicked a metaphorical mirror ball
26:05in their tiny minds and got them boogieing.
26:08But what did they have the other songs didn't?
26:11What these songs all share is the alternation of a kick drum beat
26:14with something a bit more fizzy.
26:16So it's this low sound, high sound that babies clearly find irresistible.
26:19So that proves our point.
26:21There are indeed certain songs with a certain beat
26:25that are guaranteed to make your baby dance.
26:28And who knows, maybe feeding your baby this kind of musical diet from the start
26:32might just make them the dance star of the future.
26:42Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
26:46That's great, isn't it?
26:49No argument in that, is there?
26:51No argument, they dance.
26:53That last kid, especially with you, I want to sign him up.
26:55That's real, that happened.
26:57It works on adults as well, you know, there's songs that will fill a dance floor.
27:00I used to genuinely, I used to be a mobile DJ.
27:02Did you?
27:03Yeah. Close Encounters Roadshow, and, uh...
27:06I don't know, I thought it was my career.
27:09Close Encounters Disco Roadshow, and we used to start off with a...
27:11HE HUMS THE THEME SONG
27:13HE HUMS THE THEME SONG
27:16Well, these are the lights, that's not me juggling.
27:19And there was always the same song that would fill the floor,
27:21but the main effect was the bubble machine.
27:23Put the bubble machine off, they would all come on the floor.
27:25But I was too tight to pay for the proper stuff,
27:28and I put very liquid in.
27:30A woman slid with a tray of glasses and broke her leg.
27:33There's a lady out there with a broken leg.
27:35That was me, Close Encounters Disco Roadshow.
27:37Last Wednesday. Last Wednesday, yeah.
27:39LAUGHTER
27:41You've got to keep your finger in.
27:43No, you've got to keep your hand in.
27:44LAUGHTER
27:46That's a Freudian slip, isn't it? Oh, God.
27:48LAUGHTER
27:51So, we've tested Doreen as Fat Paddy and Steve,
27:53and it's time to give your marks out of ten, please, Steve.
27:55Well, just for seeing some babies dancing, that's nine from me.
27:58That's always going to be a good one, isn't it?
28:01Paddy? I've got to go ten.
28:02Ten? Yeah.
28:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:08Once again, I'm going for a more conservative seven.
28:11That was babies. Babies dancing.
28:14That's true. I can't stand babies, it's a six.
28:17LAUGHTER
28:19No, I'll give it a seven. OK.
28:21So, let's top those up and see where that puts you on the leaderboard.
28:24Davina, you're in the lead with 26 points.
28:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:30So, Davina is sitting at the top of the leaderboard with 26 points,
28:34but everything could change in our next round.
28:36It's time for Fact Finder.
28:41It's not just my guests who have brought in facts,
28:43we've also asked our studio audience to bring in those too.
28:46Paddy, Stephen and Davina have each sifted through
28:48countless amazing facts to find just one
28:50in the hope that it will be voted the best.
28:52Right, Stephen, you're going first.
28:54Whose fact are you putting your faith in?
28:56I've chosen Helen Lund.
28:58Do you want to stand up for us, Helen? What's your amazing fact?
29:01My amazing fact is male bats have the highest rate
29:04of homosexuality in any mammal.
29:06What?!
29:08When you say, in any mammal...
29:12That's an amazing fact. That's not right.
29:14If it's true, I mean... Everybody knows it's the dressage horse.
29:20Is that the gayest mammal? It's like...
29:25I mean, it's there for all to see.
29:28This is going to come as a shock to Batman, isn't it?
29:32It'll come more of a shock to Robbie.
29:34That's true, yeah. You know this.
29:36Have you had problems with your loads of bats?
29:38I do have bats in my loft.
29:40Is that a euphemism? Sorry, I've got bats in me loft?
29:47So you've got bats in your loft, and are you using your own evidence
29:50to suggest that they might be homosexual bats?
29:53No, in discussions with... When I had the loft surveyed, I was...
29:57Oh, a bloke who surveyed your loft gave you this information?
30:00As we all know, blokes that survey lofts,
30:02they know what they're talking about.
30:04No, what you've got here, love, is your gay bat.
30:09You've never shifted, it's your gay bat.
30:17We can't test this, cos we've only just heard it tonight,
30:20so we've employed some ridiculously intelligent boffins
30:22to help us weed out what's rubbish from what's real.
30:25So, please welcome rocket scientist Dr Simon Foster,
30:28and cell biology and genetics Dr Emily Grossman,
30:30and chemical engineer David Wharton, otherwise known as the Verifiers.
30:38So, what do we think? Any truth in this?
30:41Well, no.
30:43Though we've been looked at, I could find no academic evidence
30:47to say that there is greater homosexuality in bats than any other.
30:50What about that one on your neck?
30:52LAUGHTER
30:55What I did find was the noctual bat, which lives in Central Europe,
31:00and a big strong male, he'll have a harem,
31:03he'll go round and he'll mate with them one by one
31:06and leave a little mark on the neck with his saliva
31:09so that he knows he doesn't go back again.
31:11Yeah, when I do this...
31:15Now, if you're a small bat and you can't get a harem,
31:19what you do is you pretend to be female
31:22and you climb in and cluster with all the female
31:25and the male goes down the line, but as soon as his back's turned,
31:28the little male is around all the other females.
31:30What a great idea.
31:31And he gets them all.
31:32Well, the big one's thinking he's done his job, the little one's there.
31:35So that's not really homosexuality, it's the clearest evidence
31:38I could find that something like that was happening in the bat's kingdom.
31:45OK, you'll score it at the end once you've heard everyone's facts.
31:47It's your turn. Who have you chosen?
31:49I've chosen Alex Earle.
31:51Alex Earle, where are you? Stand up.
31:53Hi, Alex. That's a hell of an enthusiastic wave.
31:56You all right? I'm good, thank you.
31:58Where are you from, Alex? I'm from Lewes, near Brighton.
32:00What do you do down there? I'm a student.
32:02Oh, so nothing.
32:05Kima, what's your fact?
32:06If you have a tongue piercing,
32:08it increases your chance of being struck by lightning.
32:11Can I just check if any of us have got piercings?
32:13Now. Now?
32:15You can answer me whenever you want. When you get back to me, write to me.
32:18No, no. You used to have a piercing? Yes.
32:20Where? Oh, don't we want to know?
32:22No, I had a tummy piercing. Yes.
32:24Oh, I've got ear piercings now.
32:26And have you ever been struck by lightning? I've had nipple piercing.
32:28Have you had nipple piercing? Yes. Wow.
32:30Did you ever sunbathe topless on the top of a skyscraper?
32:32Because that's dangerous if it's stormy.
32:34I don't think a tongue piercing
32:36would increase your risk of being struck by lightning.
32:38Yeah, why specifically tongue and not...?
32:40Because wouldn't it have to strike...?
32:42I found an article on the BBC website
32:44about a girl who experienced exactly that.
32:47That she was struck by lightning?
32:49Yes, through her tongue piercing, yeah.
32:51But you'd have to have your tongue now, wouldn't you, for it to hit it?
32:53Unless you're... What are you doing, blowing raspberries at clouds?
32:56I'm not scared of you.
33:00What a way to die.
33:02I'll be honest with you, I'm not really concentrating.
33:04I'm thinking about Davina's nipples piercing.
33:06I know, we learnt earlier.
33:08It's hard to concentrate now, isn't it?
33:11So, all right, well, time to go to the verifiers.
33:14What have you got for us, verifiers?
33:16Sadly, Paddy, this isn't true.
33:18Basically, the tongue piercing's got to be locked away inside your head.
33:21So, electricity or lightning always tries to follow
33:24the path of least resistance or the easiest route,
33:26and that's why it kind of zigzags on its way down.
33:29It's always searching for these routes.
33:31As it gets closer to the ground, it's got buildings, trees and people
33:34which are easier to travel through than the air.
33:36Now, metal obviously conducts electricity really well,
33:39but it's going to be stored away inside your head,
33:41so it's not really going to do much good
33:43at attracting electricity or lightning.
33:45Yeah, but, Doctor, you say it zigzags coming down
33:49to find the easiest route. Surely it's just a straight line.
33:52Ah, no, there's impurities in the air,
33:54cos it ionises the air as it comes down.
33:56I love the fact that you actually questioned him, Paddy.
33:59I mean, if you're going to have a battle of wits,
34:01I know where my money's off.
34:05OK, finally, Davina, whose facts are you pinning your hopes on?
34:08Julie Nisbet.
34:10Hi, Julie! Hi.
34:12Where are you from? Chelmsford, in Essex.
34:14And tell me, what's your fact?
34:16We make the best decisions when we need to have a wee.
34:19We make sharper... My opinion is that I think we make sharper decisions
34:23when we need to wee.
34:24And sometimes, when I'm nervous and I'm going to go and do a show,
34:27I want to wee because I'm nervous and I want to wee when I'm nervous
34:31and I think, don't go, cos it's going to give me an edge.
34:34Do you? Have you had a wee tonight?
34:36Well, I've had a wee today, but I didn't feel...
34:39When was the last time you had a wee?
34:41I didn't feel...
34:43He was tickling you earlier.
34:46I had three children, it could have been, but it was OK.
34:49I'll tell you what, forget the nipple image now, just forget it.
34:52It's been replaced, Davina, replaced.
34:58OK, so it sounds good, but... I'm with you, Julie.
35:01OK, Davina's saying it's true, so what do our verifiers think?
35:05They're absolutely right, Davina and Julie, totally true.
35:09APPLAUSE
35:14So, studies have actually shown that the more urgently that we need a wee,
35:19the more able we are to make rational and reasonable,
35:22responsible decisions with, like, a long-term gain.
35:25And that's because when we need a wee,
35:27we're more able to control our impulses
35:29and our emotional responses to the situation.
35:31And it's thought that the reason for that
35:33is because there's a part of the brain that's responsible for bladder control.
35:37When we need a wee, that part goes into overdrive
35:39to basically stop the impulses to just wee on the floor.
35:42And it's the same part of the brain that controls other impulses,
35:46like emotional responses and things like that,
35:48so you can make more rational, responsible decisions
35:51and make better decisions for your future.
35:53Wow.
35:55APPLAUSE
35:59OK, Dr Emily, if you're so clever, answer this.
36:02What is the melting point of your heart?
36:06LAUGHTER
36:08Science chefs at Lionel's work.
36:10So, we've heard our guest's favourite facts from the audience,
36:13but after the break, we'll find out how many points our verifiers will give them.
36:16Plus, we'll reveal whether Steve and Paddy or Davina
36:18will walk away victorious as tonight's Duck Quacks Don't Echo champion.
36:22APPLAUSE
36:32Welcome back. Before the break, each of our guests
36:34chose their favourite fact from the audience.
36:36Our verifiers have told us if they're true,
36:38but how many points have they awarded each fact,
36:40and who will be triumphant tonight?
36:42Let's find out. Stephen, please remind us of your chosen fact.
36:45Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal.
36:49Verifiers, how are we going to score that one?
36:52Well, we were thinking about that, Stephen,
36:54and we thought, well, the man in the loft was only a little bit right,
36:57so we said four out of ten for that one.
37:00Paddy, remind us of the fact that you backed.
37:03A tongue piercing increases your chances of being struck by lightning.
37:07Verifiers.
37:08Well, we discussed this during the break,
37:10and obviously it's complete nonsense, so we were going to give Paddy zero,
37:13but my girlfriend really likes him, and she'll kill me,
37:16so I'm going to give him two.
37:18I'll give her one.
37:22Nice. That is nice.
37:26APPLAUSE
37:29You might want to ask your girlfriend to wipe the kitchen surfaces.
37:32LAUGHTER
37:34And finally, Davina, which fact did you go for?
37:36Right, the lovely Julie said that we make better decisions
37:40when we need to wee.
37:42So we've decided to give Davina ten points,
37:44on the grounds that A, it's totally true,
37:47and B, it's really helpful to know this,
37:49so that next time we go shopping, make sure we really need a wee,
37:52otherwise we'll come home with a big bag full of clothes
37:54that look really great, but we don't actually need.
37:56Fair points. Well done, Julie.
38:01So let's put all that up onto the leaderboard and see the final scores.
38:05Paddy McGuinness and Stephen Mangan, joint second,
38:07but this week's winner, with 36 points, is Davina McCall.
38:14Welcome, Davina, you're tonight's winner,
38:16which means you get to help me prove my final fact,
38:18which is lucky, because you're actually the only one
38:21in the slot that is light enough to do it,
38:23because my fact is, you can lift a person off the ground
38:26using helium balloons.
38:28So let's test it out. It's time for Max Fact.
38:35So my fact is, and remember, you're going to test it for me, Davina,
38:39you can lift a person off the ground using helium balloons,
38:42and I hope you're good with heights. Yes.
38:44Because you're going to get attached to over 1,000 of these bad boys.
38:48Blimey, that was close.
38:51Now, there's no way we're going to fit that many balloons
38:54inside the studio, so we're going to have to take this experiment outside,
38:58and you'll also need to pop on something a bit more appropriate
39:01for dangling in the air. I don't think the high heels does it. No.
39:04So whilst we do that, let's hear from Dr Foster
39:06about the science behind the power of helium.
39:09Now, you may have heard that helium is a lighter-than-air gas,
39:12but what does that mean?
39:15Well, an easy way to compare it is water and air.
39:18If you took an empty plastic bottle to the bottom of a swimming pool
39:21and let it go, it would rise to the top,
39:23because the air inside is a lot less dense,
39:26it's a lot lighter than the surrounding water.
39:29Now, the same is true of helium and air,
39:32so much so that helium can actually lift things off the ground.
39:35It's got a lifting ability of, for every one litre of helium,
39:39it can lift one gram.
39:41So this means if you can get enough helium balloons together,
39:44you can literally lift anything on Earth, which we're about to find out.
39:52Look at that. Oh, it's so pretty.
39:55Isn't it nice?
39:57You are actually going to go up with the power of those balloons alone.
40:00It's like the movie.
40:02I couldn't think of a more beautiful way to die.
40:04I mean, to go up into the air.
40:06Sorry. I'm not helping, am I?
40:08What happens if I get, like, pulled away with the wind?
40:11It's all right. We can get someone else to do it as a pick-up in a few days.
40:15Oh, you mean for your home safety? Lee!
40:17Well, I don't know. I guess...
40:19I suppose we could... I've got a pin.
40:21Stop it. Am I going to be all right? You're going to be absolutely fine.
40:24The chances of two people dying two weeks on the run, very slim.
40:27You'll be absolutely fine.
40:29Oh, my God. Don't worry about that. That'll be fine.
40:32I think, actually, we should get that sparrow out of there before we do this.
40:36Sorry.
40:38Oh, I've just ripped my trousers.
40:40I've just ripped my trousers in the process.
40:42You really have. I unmasked my trousers.
40:44All my testicles have exploded. Shall we just have a look?
40:46Look. I've ripped my trousers.
40:48He's ripped his trousers. I've ripped my trousers.
40:50I put too much helium in one of the balloons.
40:55So, er...
40:57What we're going to do is we're going to bring Health and Safety Andy in.
41:00Andy will attach these on now.
41:02Obviously, we're going to need...
41:04Oh, God, oh, God. A bit of a safety helmet.
41:07Do you want me to put this on or do you want to do that? I'll do it.
41:09You do it. That's got a little bit of a camera on the front as well.
41:12Oh, OK. So we've got a nice close-up of your face.
41:16Lee, I'm scared.
41:18It probably won't happen, but on the off chance you do drift up very high,
41:21these are quite expensive. Can you drop that back down again?
41:24Cos you don't want to lose that. We might need it for the standing.
41:27You ready? Yeah, no, I can... Here we go. Oh, my God.
41:29Do you want me to hold on to your ankle to start with?
41:31Lee, just... I'll back off. Shush!
41:33I'll back off. You're not making it any better.
41:35Just before you go, one final thing.
41:37When you land, can you give us a call and let us know how it went?
41:40Cos we're really excited. Let's go for it.
41:43Oh. Oh. Are you going? Oh. Oh, here we go. Oh.
41:47Feel free to ask me to hold your hand at any time.
41:50Oh, my God! It's great, isn't it?
41:52Oh. Hi!
41:54I just want you to know as well that this is really safe.
41:57We have tried this before and if you're out there, son,
42:00can you give your mum a ring? She's really worried.
42:05Look at that. I want to get up there now.
42:07I want to grab your ankles and fly off with you.
42:09There's going to be sparrows getting back to their nest tonight
42:12going, you are not going to believe who I saw on the way up here.
42:15So, there's your proof.
42:16You can lift a person off the ground using balloons.
42:18Hopefully we'll have worked out by next week how to get them back down again.
42:21Let me thank all my guests for tonight.
42:23It's Mr Stephen Mangan, Paddy McGuinness,
42:25and, of course, the one and only Davina McCall!
42:29That's all for this week. Join us next time.
42:36Can we bring on number three, please?
42:41What does it take to disgust you, Ollie?
42:44Where are you? There you go.
42:45Oh, no, it's not you.
42:47It's not you, number three!
42:53It's transfer deadline day and with just over two hours to go,
42:56time is ticking.
42:57Find out all the latest as it happens
42:59live from the all-new Sky Sports News HQ right now.
43:02Andy may have gotten her to skydive
43:04and jeopardise her pension in Vegas,
43:06but how will a thrill-seeking Nancy fare Morocco?
43:09Brand new 50 ways to kill your mummy,
43:12next on Sky 1 HD.