ALF - 068. Ein Baby auf Probe
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00:00Okay, how about Carl Maria if it's a boy and Amanda if it's a girl?
00:08You know, I thought if it's a girl it could get the name of my mother.
00:14You really want to call her Scarecrow?
00:17How about Nancy Whitney?
00:20Or maybe Sheila E?
00:22Now I have the right name.
00:24Rin Tin Tanner.
00:28You want to give my child a dog's name?
00:32It's a noble dog.
00:34A brave dog.
00:36A real life-saver dog.
00:39And if it's a girl, we'll call her Scarecrow.
00:57You want to give my child a dog's name?
01:01It's a noble dog.
01:04A brave dog.
01:06A real life-saver dog.
01:09And if it's a girl, we'll call her Scarecrow.
01:13You want to give my child a dog's name?
01:17It's a noble dog.
01:20A brave dog.
01:23¶¶
01:52¶¶
01:57What did I tell you, Alf?
01:59How you should behave when visitors are there.
02:02More than I wanted to know.
02:05Go to the garage and come out when the workers are done.
02:09This visitor has been here for four weeks.
02:12How long will it take to build a stupid nursery?
02:16Twice as long as you promise it will take.
02:21Why don't you come with me?
02:23We could play a game.
02:26Half as bad as it sounds.
02:30I'm sorry, but I can't start with you now.
02:33Kate and I have our first Lamaze lesson this afternoon.
02:37What's a Lamaze lesson?
02:39The future parents prepare for the birth of the baby.
02:43Today we mainly practice breathing.
02:45I could teach you that, too.
02:47One, breathe in.
02:50Two, breathe out.
02:53Good, you passed.
02:55You don't have to do it anymore.
02:57Don't worry. Kate and I will learn to breathe together.
03:01Admit it, Willy Wild.
03:03This baby has become your obsession.
03:06Of course I'm obsessed with it. It's the miracle of life.
03:10The miracle of becoming human. The mystery of being.
03:14Congratulations.
03:16That sounds convincing.
03:25And then the doctor put the ultrasound device on my stomach.
03:28We could see the baby's head.
03:30We saw the baby's legs and even the heart.
03:33Come on, Kate. Some of us are still eating.
03:37Since when are you so sensitive?
03:40Since Kate has been talking about these parasites.
03:43The baby is growing in her and is constantly changing.
03:47Speaking of parasites, would you like to be fried for the fifth time, Alf?
03:52If that's what you want...
03:55When the baby is there, can we tell him that Alf is there, too?
03:59He'll have to get used to it.
04:01You know, the funny thing about this baby is that it will grow up with Alf.
04:05I mean, it won't be anything extraordinary for the baby.
04:09But something completely normal.
04:12Don't let yourself be disturbed.
04:14I like it when I'm seen as extraordinary.
04:17I'm sorry, Alf.
04:19But I don't want that to happen again.
04:23I'm leaving. Get dressed.
04:32Oh, hi, Rick.
04:34Hello, Willie.
04:35I'm afraid you're not allowed to eat.
04:37We got used to that.
04:40And how is the little mummy of the future?
04:42She's not that small.
04:44She covers the whole TV when she passes by.
04:48In a joke, when you're pregnant, Mother Nature says, put on a tent.
04:53I already knew that.
04:55We're only disturbing you for a moment.
04:57It's about the house of the Litvaks.
05:01That's right, Laverne.
05:02Oh, right, our house.
05:05What about your house, Laverne?
05:08We might want to sell it.
05:10It won't be too soon.
05:12Or did I say that?
05:13I'm asking you.
05:14You're in the real estate business.
05:16What do you think about it?
05:21About what?
05:22Laverne.
05:24Kate would know more and would be better oriented
05:28what her house is worth
05:30if you take her with you and show her everything.
05:32At least for five minutes.
05:35Yes, that would be very helpful.
05:38Right now?
05:40Yes.
05:42If it's okay with you,
05:44just in case we decide to sell it one day.
05:47Well, please, Laverne.
05:50It's so sudden.
05:52Take your time and think about it.
05:55If you don't like it, you'll regret it for a long time.
05:57All right, let's go.
05:59I didn't hear that.
06:02I thought I wouldn't get it out at all.
06:06What is it, Raffle?
06:08Laverne and I would like to throw a baby surprise party for Kate.
06:12I would like to thank you on Saturday.
06:17We invited Kate's college friends
06:19and all the ladies from the neighborhood.
06:21Except Hazel Hurlbut.
06:23We haven't talked to each other since that unheard incident with the rooster.
06:27A baby party sounds really funny.
06:30I could help.
06:31Already planned.
06:32But we'll bring everything.
06:34Except refreshments, decorations,
06:36party presents and the folding chair.
06:40That's the least Tantje Reckl can do.
06:43Well, then eat on.
06:45Fried chicken again?
06:46And chocolate.
06:48Well, whatever you like.
06:50Bye.
06:52What is a baby surprise party?
06:55Worse than toothache.
06:57So, when is my party?
07:00How do you know that?
07:02Everyone sang.
07:04Well, at least pretend to be surprised.
07:06Otherwise you would hurt Tantje Reckl deeply.
07:09If it's more comfortable for you,
07:11I can stay outside.
07:13And you can throw the rest of the dinner in my face.
07:17You may sit down again, Raffle.
07:19No, thank you.
07:21I'm getting tired of this baby surprise.
07:33And that's it.
07:34What do you think?
07:39Laverne.
07:41You always have to cross and hang up air hoses.
07:45So, where does it say?
07:47It doesn't say anywhere.
07:50What everyone knows,
07:51you don't have to write it down.
07:54Elisabeth is right.
07:56What?
07:57Nothing, nothing, nothing.
08:00Excuse me.
08:03Lynne, hi.
08:04Hi, come in.
08:06This is a practical gift.
08:08We can practice with it.
08:09I hope you don't mind.
08:11My babysitter suddenly got concert tickets from somewhere.
08:14But no, that's right.
08:16Mom will be here soon.
08:20Oh, Andrea.
08:21You brought the baby.
08:23Really original.
08:29Aha.
08:30So, this is how the bad breed should be buried.
08:34It's disgusting.
08:37What would be good for the pattern of the wallpaper.
08:53Great.
08:54The unbelievably stretchable cape is back.
08:57What an exciting surprise.
08:59Thank you, Rachel and Laverne.
09:02Why was that our idea?
09:06Who else could be so attentive?
09:12You brought Erwin.
09:14I would like his bedtime.
09:17Is there any way to put him down?
09:19Oh, yes.
09:20We can use the children's room.
09:22Come, I'll show you where it is.
09:23Wonderful.
09:24I'm happy.
09:26Kate, you were really good.
09:28Yes, I was.
09:29Shocked, you could say.
09:30I had no idea.
09:32You told her, didn't you?
09:38Man, really.
09:39It's a great thing.
09:43Right here, Andrea.
09:44Yes, fine.
09:52Oh, what a cute room.
09:54Yes, I think so, too.
09:56Come on, honey.
09:58Go to sleep.
10:03Does he need anything else?
10:0535,000 dollars for college.
10:08Mommy will be back soon.
10:11Come on.
10:23So.
10:24You are such a balk.
10:26Not very consumer-friendly, are you?
10:31Yes.
10:34We will soon have such a happy event in the house.
10:37Yes, yes.
10:39And that's why you will all make a big fuss.
10:42Lynn will say things like,
10:44Kille, Kille, where is he?
10:48Kille?
10:51Kate will rub her chest over him and steal him.
10:54Whatever that is.
10:56Ryan will read the baby.
10:58Kiss, kiss.
11:01Willy will change his diapers without interruption.
11:03Take him to the cinema.
11:05And I will...
11:06Kiss, kiss, kiss.
11:08Oh, I'm going to kiss my rump.
11:11I'm allergic to the little animal.
11:14Kiss, kiss, kiss.
11:25Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
11:31I'll have a look.
11:33That's probably the cat.
11:35Or the tap.
11:37Or the cat in the tap.
11:41Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
11:48Don't you say at least health?
11:50Ralph, what's wrong with you?
11:53I'm allergic to babies.
11:56Well, that's ridiculous.
11:58Do you think so?
12:00What's up?
12:04Kiss, kiss, kiss.
12:06Do you see? A baby allergy.
12:10What's going on here?
12:12Ralph, we have the house full of guests.
12:16I'm afraid I have bad news, Mama Ballon.
12:19You won't be able to keep the baby.
12:21What?
12:23I found out that I'm allergic to it.
12:26But don't worry, I'll do it again.
12:30I'll get you goldfish.
12:32You won't give our baby away.
12:35Do you think I want to give it away?
12:38I'm sure we'll get a good price for it.
12:41I'm sure we'll get a better price for you.
12:47Ralph, that's probably just the baby powder that makes you sneeze.
12:51No, no, it's not.
12:53At Mammach we stirred baby powder into the cakes instead of artificial sugar.
13:02We can discuss that later.
13:04And now please go back to the garage.
13:11Those are all your shoes.
13:14Shoes.
13:16Shoes.
13:22Hey, they're really more absorbent.
13:26No, thank you, Uncle Trevor.
13:28I'm not hungry at all.
13:30I didn't know you could fill up on bacon.
13:37Thank you.
13:39Ralph, what are you doing here?
13:42I've been stormed out of my garage.
13:45Why? What's that supposed to mean?
13:47That means I can't storm from home because I don't have a home anymore.
13:51What's going on?
13:52Because I don't have a home anymore.
13:54What's going on?
13:55I'm allergic to babies.
13:57Kate is going to throw up soon.
13:59She doesn't want me to sell it.
14:01So I'm leaving.
14:03I've never heard that you can be allergic to babies.
14:07I beg your pardon, you know-it-all.
14:10If you haven't heard of it yet, then the stupid Ralph must be fantasizing.
14:14How did you get in here?
14:16Through refinement, flexibility and patience until Trevor had to go to the bathroom.
14:21You can't stay here.
14:23That's too risky.
14:24Come, I'll take you back to your tent.
14:29You're heavier than you look.
14:31I have heavy bones.
14:35So, which side of the bed do you want?
14:37Ralph was reasonable. You can't live here.
14:39If the two of them don't see each other, there's no way out.
14:43Good idea.
14:44Let's look for a place on the beach.
14:47No, we can't stay together.
14:50It wouldn't be good.
14:52We get along well.
14:54I'm the loser in the duel.
15:00Oh, that's so cute.
15:02You can take care of yourself.
15:04Of course not. Even the plants grow on me.
15:07I'm sorry I can't stay any longer, but I still have to fix my machine.
15:10Sylvia, thank you for the long trip.
15:13I didn't want to miss it.
15:15I'm on my way, too. I dropped my daughter off at the mall three hours ago.
15:18I'm afraid she's already bought everything.
15:24A seven-year-old knows that you have a lot of problems.
15:27Then take a seven-year-old as a helper if you want to throw a baby party again.
15:31You don't say that for nothing.
15:33It's good that you still take the money for the plastic bag.
15:37Dad, why do you call something like that a cold plate?
15:41Probably because the cut is cold.
15:44And the plate, too.
15:46Cold plate.
15:48I don't know.
15:50And what would it mean if you warm the whole thing?
15:57I don't know.
15:59I don't know anything.
16:01Hello.
16:03Yes, come in.
16:07Hi, Mr. Tanner.
16:09Hi, Dwarf.
16:10Hi, Jake.
16:11Hello, Jake. What's up?
16:13Well...
16:16Is something missing?
16:18Not really. I have more than I want.
16:23Oh, you found something?
16:25Listen, I'm not allowed to say it too directly.
16:27I promised and gave my word of honor.
16:29Say something that could be gone and I'll say hot or cold.
16:33Hot.
16:34I won.
16:36How do you know he's gone?
16:38He's with me.
16:40Where exactly?
16:41In my room, end of the stairs, second door on the right.
16:45Oh.
17:01Now the place looks much more comfortable.
17:06Alf, what are you doing here?
17:09Everything that's possible with such a piece of furniture.
17:13Come home with me, right now!
17:15I'm at home, Willy.
17:17From now on, I live here.
17:19Could you be helpful at the hairdresser's?
17:22Stop this nonsense!
17:23What do you think is going on when Trevor and Rachel hear you?
17:26The devil, that's clear.
17:28Besides, they're looking in the garden outside
17:30to see if their potatoes look like celebrities.
17:33Why do you want to live here now?
17:36What's that got to do with you?
17:38You have Kate, Lynn and Brian?
17:40And in a short time, you'll have the...
17:42thing with B.
17:45Thing with B?
17:47You don't mean the baby?
17:52See?
17:53That's why I can't stand you anymore.
17:55I'm allergic to babies.
17:58How do you know that?
17:59You've never had anything to do with babies.
18:02Someone brought one to Kate's party
18:04and put it in the children's room.
18:06Whenever I got close to the little one,
18:08I sneezed out half of its lungs.
18:12Why do you have to sneeze now?
18:14There's no baby.
18:15I just need to think about it.
18:17Then the sneezing starts.
18:20That explains everything, Alf.
18:22You're not allergic to babies.
18:24The whole story is psychosomatic.
18:27Psychosomatic?
18:29Can you explain it to me in a way that everyone understands?
18:34That means you could believe
18:36that the baby wants to take your place.
18:39Don't try to analyze me.
18:41I'm way too complex.
18:43I just want to worry about you, Alf.
18:46Really? But you can spare that.
18:48Because I don't worry about you anymore.
18:51I'm the past.
18:52A mist.
18:53The old, stinking trash from yesterday.
18:56The rats make fun of it.
19:00When I married Kate,
19:02I loved her more than anything in the world.
19:05And then we got Lynn and Brian,
19:07and I realized that I love them both just as much.
19:10But that's why I loved Kate a little less.
19:13And then...
19:17Well, maybe it's not exactly the same,
19:21but you know, we love you, buddy.
19:24All of us.
19:26In whose name did you just speak?
19:29In mine, of course.
19:31And in Lynn's and Brian's.
19:33Yes, and?
19:35And I'm sure Kate,
19:37in her very special way,
19:40in her own, very special way,
19:44in her way, I'm sure she loves you, too.
19:48Honestly?
19:51Nobody, please believe me,
19:54nobody could take your place.
19:57But if you really believe
20:01that you want to live here,
20:04then...
20:06Well, the room doesn't quite correspond to my dung circle.
20:10It's not even a laundry dryer.
20:13But...
20:15But what?
20:17If I stay with you,
20:20I want to be important to you, too.
20:22I want to take part in everything.
20:24I want to choose a name for the baby.
20:31Forget it.
20:33Billy, are you crazy?
20:35Hide!
20:37I'm serious, Billy.
20:50Hello, Rachel.
20:54What are you doing here?
20:57I'm just looking for our cat.
21:02How did you get in here?
21:06Probably through the bathroom window.
21:11So when you're done here,
21:13could you please put all the furniture back where it was?
21:19And have a nice day.
21:22No.
21:24Let's go over there and have the baby do a little burp.
21:27No, the baby isn't even born yet.
21:30Then let's go home and burp ourselves.
21:41We're going to have a new baby soon,
21:43and that's what the little baby needs,
21:45said Daddy Bear.
21:48A new baby?
21:50asked the little bear.
21:51He hadn't noticed that Mama Bear
21:53had become very round lately,
21:55although he had noticed that it was getting more and more difficult
21:57to sit on her lap.
21:59Can I sit on your lap?
22:01You'd rather not.
22:03Good.
22:06Mommy, Daddy is looking for you.
22:08He can't find his toothpick.
22:11Tell him to look in the bathroom.
22:15Don't ask.
22:20Alf,
22:22isn't the book too childish for you?
22:24Yes, I know that.
22:26You know that.
22:28But only Kate didn't say it.
22:30Is that so?
22:32No.
22:33Your mother's instinct beats Salto Mortale.
22:35If she wants a 232-year-old toothpick,
22:38she should.
22:40I sold it.
22:41That's very nice of you, Alf.
22:43I know that.
22:45Then...
22:48I can't wait to see how it turns out.