WHEN Blessings and Leeah first met, they identified as females in a lesbian relationship, but since then, things have changed. Speaking to Love Don't Judge, Blessings said: "Today, I stand before you as a transgender male and Leeah is pansexual." Blessings first realised he was transgender in high school, but it took him years to finally say it out loud. He explained: "I revealed to Leeah I wanted to transition in 2017. I was nervous, I was petrified. I thought I was going to lose the person I loved." Leeah added: "I had no idea Blessings wanted to transition prior to him telling me." Speaking about the judgement that they receive as a couple, Blessings said: "A lot of people think our relationship is lies. They think transgender people should not exist or don't deserve to live." In this episode of Love Don't Judge, Blessings' mom will be coming over to reveal what she thinks about the relationship. Reflecting on their love, Leeah said: "Blessings has changed my life for the better. Just allowing me to work on myself as an individual so that way also our relationship can grow. Our marriage can flourish."
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00:00This is Lessons.
00:02He fell in love with Leah.
00:05At the time, we both identified as lesbians, both female, and
00:11today I stand before you as transgender male.
00:14Some of the judgment that we faced have been more so along the lines of you're not a real man.
00:20This is not a real relationship. They don't know us. They don't know anything about us. It's just disgusting.
00:25I'm gonna be calling my mom to really pick her brain and see how she truly felt about our relationship and my transition.
00:32How did you feel when I was on the corner talking to you on the phone and told you I'm not your daughter,
00:38I'm your son. I'm transgender.
00:40Honestly, I was hurt.
00:43My name is Leah. My friends and family had a hard time accepting the fact that I was gay and now my husband is trans.
00:50Leah and I met nine years ago at a college party in New York.
00:54At the time, we both identified as lesbians, both female. Today,
00:59I stand before you as transgender male and Leah pansexual. I first realized I was transgender in
01:07high school. I couldn't say the words out loud and I kind of just brushed it under the rug
01:11until the words that I kept inside got too loud. This is a throwback. This was when we first started
01:19dating. Like, not even dating. We were just talking, getting to know one another.
01:23This was our first picture that I ever posted of us. Very first picture ever.
01:28It's just smiley from you.
01:31This is the day I proposed.
01:33We're right under the tree.
01:35The other way was the sunset. This is Timmy's
01:39graduation. I was actually transitioning here. Beginning stages, right? I have nothing. I was still wearing a binder, everything.
01:46This was the first time I went to a beach without a top on.
01:52My first summer after top surgery. I revealed to Leah that I wanted to transition, I want to say in
02:002017. When I revealed it to her, I was nervous. You know, I was petrified.
02:04I thought I was gonna lose the woman that I truly love.
02:07I had no idea Bless wanted to transition prior to him telling me.
02:13I noticed a shift in his mood and behavior.
02:17Kind of fell into like a depression. And that's when I started asking more questions,
02:20you know, trying to figure out what it was.
02:22The reason why I kept it in for so long,
02:25I had to be able to say it to myself before I could say it to other people out loud.
02:28And then when I was able to do that, I felt like my whole world probably was gonna be
02:34twisted upside down just because this was literally like this, boom, here you go.
02:39This is what it is. And even though you didn't meet me like this,
02:42and this is not what you signed up for, you might leave me. So it was always that risk factor,
02:46which is why I kept it from her for so long. With my sexuality,
02:51once I realized nothing's changed with the way I love him, it made me put things into perspective.
02:56And I was like, okay, this isn't bisexuality. And I'm obviously not a lesbian.
03:01So... What am I?
03:03What am I?
03:05And we did some research and I found out that I was pansexual.
03:09And I never knew that was a thing up until he came out as trans.
03:13In regards to our relationship and the judgment we receive, a lot of people,
03:17one, they think our relationship is lies.
03:20They think transgender people should not exist or don't deserve to live.
03:25They think our relationship is some sort of fluke or glitch that's not supposed to exist as well.
03:32Some of the judgment that we face have been more so along the lines of, you know,
03:37you're not a real, like, man, this is not a real relationship.
03:42What a strange world we live in.
03:44Very strange.
03:45Degeneracy. They don't know me. So how do you know if I'm a degenerate or not?
03:49No such thing as trans, just as men and women.
03:52Personally, I'm the type of person, I don't care what people think. I learned that very early.
03:59So when he was feeling kind of down about, you know, some of the hate comments,
04:02I told him, like, they don't know us, let them hate and be, and soak in their misery.
04:08With Bluss's transition, there obviously were a lot of changes.
04:12Facial features kind of broadening, the facial hair, hair on the body, him losing some physical...
04:20Like hips.
04:20Hips, not having breasts anymore. None of those things made me love him any less.
04:25When I first met Bluss, there was no problems with the pronouns she, her.
04:31So I had to adjust. And I live with him, so I felt like it was hard.
04:35And I felt so bad every time I slipped up.
04:38When some of his features started to come in, like the facial hair,
04:41and his jaw started getting a little more stronger,
04:44and I saw certain parts of his body kind of going down, and he didn't have the breasts.
04:48It's like, what I look like calling you she?
04:50Yeah, and my voice too.
04:51And his voice started getting deeper too.
04:53So over time, it was just easy, and it just flowed, and it feels fine.
04:59At the beginning, when he did come out as trans,
05:03he wore baggy shirts to avoid his chest from showing.
05:07And after he got top surgery, he didn't need the tape.
05:12Before I transitioned, I had this sweater, this jacket, this hoodie.
05:17This was my go-to hoodie.
05:20Because it was so loose, it was just...
05:23It wasn't form-fitting, and it would hide my chest well.
05:27Some of my clothes I still have, they just fit in a way that I feel more comfortable with now.
05:33My friends and family, in the beginning, they were a bit skeptical.
05:36They didn't know if she'd stick around, or if I was going to take her seriously.
05:40I'm going to be calling my mom to really pick her brain
05:43and see how she truly felt about our relationship and my transition.
05:47So we're going to ask you some questions, and you got to be honest.
05:53When Leah and I first got together,
05:55what did you think about our relationship, or any concerns?
05:58Well, in the beginning, I was concerned because of the way you were.
06:03You wasn't like...
06:05Let's just say...
06:07I didn't take you seriously with Leah, because you was in school, you was partying.
06:11You know, you was doing your thing.
06:12And then after a couple of months that I saw how serious you was,
06:16I was like, maybe she is the one that could, you know, straighten you out a little bit.
06:21How did you feel that day when I was on the corner,
06:26talking to you on the phone and told you,
06:29I'm not your daughter, I'm your son, I'm transgender?
06:32Honestly, I was hurt.
06:34And the reason why I was hurt, like I told you before,
06:37was because I couldn't have no more kids.
06:40And the daughter that I had wasn't going to be my daughter no more.
06:46Did you have any concerns about his transition and what that would look like?
06:51Yes.
06:52And the reason why I was concerned,
06:54because I thought we was going to go through the whole transformation.
06:59But it didn't go that way, because I read up and I saw videos of what could happen,
07:06the after effect, and that worried me.
07:09But when he said that he was just going to do the breast part, I was okay with it.
07:14How do you feel about Leah and my relationship now today?
07:20Oh, I love it.
07:21I feel that you'll build a beautiful relationship.
07:25You'll help one another when you're going through your up and down.
07:29You know, that's only for a couple of hours and you'll wind up talking about it
07:33and building your relationship back and it gets stronger.
07:36Bless.
07:39Has changed my life for the better.
07:42Just allowing me to work on myself as an individual,
07:45so that way also our relationship can grow, our marriage can flourish.
07:50Leah has definitely become the epitome of the woman that I want to be with,
07:55spend the rest of my life with.
07:56Our relationship works because we don't adhere to society when it comes to us.
08:02We do what works for us, no matter what it looks like to the outside world.
08:12you