God Shave The Queens S01E07 (2020)
Transcript
00:00I don't even know what brush you're using on me.
00:15Vivienne!
00:16Hey man!
00:17Hang on, I'm almost going to take you to get ready.
00:24I'm always ready.
00:25I'm always ready.
00:27I'm always ready.
00:28I was born ready.
00:30Well, now we're not going to meet in green.
00:36You don't seem to be that Russian, are you?
00:44There's a bug in it.
00:52Oh, she's here.
00:54Oh, look.
00:55Hello, I brought my camera people to meet your camera people.
01:01Oh, yeah, not an hour.
01:04We'll be back.
01:06Yeah, I'm lost.
01:08I brought my paparazzi to meet your paparazzi.
01:14Hello?
01:15Oh, you again.
01:17Cheryl's getting her makeup done.
01:19Today.
01:20Do we do an Instagram live and ask people for questions?
01:24Good evening, everyone.
01:26We are here on Instagram live because we're going to put...
01:29We want questions from you.
01:31We want shady questions.
01:33Yeah.
01:34How much was your teeth?
01:35You never ask a girl.
01:40They were worth every penny.
01:42That's all I'm saying.
01:44What was your reaction when you got the call for drag race?
01:47My reaction was this.
01:48I'm a crust.
01:49I'm a crust.
01:50Mick.
01:51Marco.
01:54Are you excited to come to Belfast?
01:56Yes.
01:57Are you excited to come to Belfast?
01:59Yes.
02:04Who would you slap the hardest from your season?
02:08Who would you slap?
02:09I think I'd slap...
02:11Gothi the hardest.
02:13She'd enjoy it, that's why.
02:14Davina deserves it.
02:16But Gothi...
02:18Phil Hull, could you please get up live Instagram and do some work?
02:21Thank you.
02:32Tonight's going to be really good.
02:33We're all ready really early as well.
02:34I've got, what, half an hour to get my dress on.
02:37Full drag night.
02:38See?
02:39Didn't need anyone to paint my face, did I?
02:40Didn't need myself.
02:41Who do you think's going to be left?
02:43Bagger.
02:45Actually, no, Bagger can do your face in 20 minutes.
02:47Hello, beauty.
02:50Bagger's still shaving.
02:51Ah, I thought so.
02:55Say hi, David.
02:56Hiya.
02:57How are you?
02:58Hey, David.
02:59Where's the camera?
03:00There.
03:01There he is.
03:03Hello.
03:04Hiya.
03:05Her face is always so beautiful.
03:07She's the make-up artist this season, she really is.
03:10More so than...
03:11Don't say that.
03:12Don't sound blue.
03:13Way more pink than blues.
03:15Oh, yeah.
03:16Oh, she's starting drama.
03:18Look at the camera.
03:19I'll take that, I'll take that.
03:20Oh, little bitch.
03:22I think one of the first gigs I did back,
03:24someone came up to me and went,
03:25you are like a different person now.
03:27And I was like, am I?
03:28I don't feel like it.
03:29A lot of people in the London show in this room,
03:31they were just like,
03:33I haven't seen this side of you.
03:34They were like, we know you can sing and stuff,
03:36we know you can perform,
03:37but this is a side that we've never seen.
03:40And that's kind of the side I want to keep
03:42for tours and ticket prices and stuff like that.
03:45Because I'll carry on doing more cabaret stuff.
03:47I'm doing a little show on Sunday, actually, in Leeds.
03:52But yeah, it's this kind of huge arena stuff
03:55where I've got staging, all that kind of stuff,
03:57where I really want to keep on tour,
03:59so I want to keep doing this.
04:00I love it.
04:01I want to be a fucking rock star, because I am.
04:05A rock star that dresses like a lady.
04:08Like Paramore.
04:09Like Paramore.
04:12Where am I?
04:15Anyway.
04:16I've got my clothes on now.
04:17Bye.
04:20No selfies allowed,
04:22and only merch that was purchased here will be signed.
04:25Yeah.
04:26Meet and greet underneath our lighting.
04:29Wow.
04:30Picking up a stone, aren't we?
04:33Decoded.
04:34My album's called The Survivor.
04:36And Sam's album's called
04:38Number 69 on the menu.
04:40Release this little bitch.
04:43Springwell.
04:44I thought it was going to be called Deported.
04:46Oh, that's good.
04:47OK, edit, edit.
04:48Cut that, cut that.
04:49My love, how are you?
04:51My love, I must apologise.
04:53We've been on tour for two weeks,
04:54and do you know what's happened?
04:55People have gone mad.
04:56Who is that?
05:09Three, two, one.
05:13Hello.
05:14Hey, look at Dad.
05:19I know, she just said.
05:21Nice to meet you.
05:22Thank you so much.
05:23Thank you so much.
05:28You all right, darling?
05:29How are you?
05:30Gorgeous.
05:31You look amazing.
05:32Yeah, I just come down drag,
05:33because otherwise I would have stolen the spotlights.
05:36I would have got the crown,
05:37I would have got the crown.
05:38I'm sure of it.
05:39Are we not getting
05:40a bit of Donald Trump in drag here?
05:44Bonjour.
05:46Brexit.
05:49See you soon.
05:51And break your legs.
05:54Bye, gorgeous.
05:56Enough, enough.
05:57I'm getting sunburned,
05:58I'm getting sunburned.
06:00Let the spotlight sunburn,
06:01please, I need to put my cream.
06:04Bye.
06:08That was crazy.
06:10Right, time to wait for a show.
06:12We've got no time.
06:13What time is it?
06:16We've got 15 minutes.
06:19I'm not ready.
06:20We've got to go, we've got to go.
06:22We're going to get ready now.
06:23Stop harassing her, she was late already.
06:25Come on, come on, get off.
06:30Disgrace Jones.
06:31Disgrace Jones.
06:32Disgrace Jones.
06:347.56.
06:35We start at eight, girls.
06:37And it's just me and Maggie here.
06:39And something.
06:43Looking for house, guys.
06:44Holding for house.
06:48Oh, fuck.
06:49I'm caught on something.
06:57This is where the whole set goes down.
06:59Jesus.
07:01I'm just nervous,
07:02it's going to be like a Birmingham experience again,
07:05where they just play the music and no one's here.
07:07So, that's why I'm here on time.
07:10Black time is done.
07:13Can't cope.
07:17One minute till showtime.
07:18One minute till showtime.
07:20She's here.
07:23I'm ready.
07:25I've got the message back.
07:28Oh, OK.
07:29Well, nobody relayed that message to me.
07:31It's in the group chat.
07:33I haven't looked at my phone.
07:36We're running late because Alyssa has three more nails to put on.
07:39I only have two on my thumbs and that's it.
07:42So, who gives a single fuck?
07:44Not me.
07:46Where are the new three degrees?
07:49I've got all three of them.
07:51You've got three degrees?
07:52No.
07:53You've got bag of crisps, divonade and blue cantrell.
08:01She'll de-spug your balls.
08:04Yeah, when we saw that, we were like,
08:05oh, we're going to be really classy and do all of our dresses.
08:08Next thing we know, de-spug those balls.
08:10No.
08:11Filth.
08:12She'll always love me.
08:13Filth.
08:14Mary Berry, Front Destroyers, the bottom of season one.
08:18Was you the bottom Gothi was on about on Twitter?
08:21Yeah.
08:22I thought so.
08:23I won.
08:24I beat Gothi in an arm wrestle yesterday as the bottom of the cast.
08:29I just want to say thanks to my mum, thanks to my dad,
08:33thanks to my family for making me such a good bottom and a strong bottom.
08:38Thank you to all my family, basically, for taking it up the arse.
08:44I wish your mum had taken it up the arse.
08:46Wow.
08:47Nothing goes up my oop.
08:49Ah!
08:50Can't make some noise for my girl, Marge Simpson.
08:55Big Marge.
08:59Have a good show, ladies.
09:01You too.
09:02Oh, here she is.
09:05Good show.
09:06You look gorgeous.
09:07Vinegar, don't fuck it up this time.
09:09Crisps.
09:10Please have some more.
09:12Crisps, please have some more.
09:15Start the music.
09:16You've got the power, hour after hour
09:20I just want to light you up
09:22You've got the spotlight
09:24Hot as an acid fire, burn with desire
09:27I just want to light you up
09:30You've got the spotlight, spotlight, spotlight
09:34Baby, come on, spotlight, spotlight
09:38Ow, ow
09:43Ooh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow
09:56I just want to light you up
10:02Oohh!
10:05God!
10:06Bloody hell, that bastard.
10:08Fuck's sake.
10:10My belt just got stuck, I couldn't get out of it.
10:13So, well, never mind.
10:15It's fine.
10:17I want this.
10:19Never in a million years.
10:21How old are you back there?
10:23Come up here. Come up here, young man. Come on.
10:28What?
10:29It's your day. Let me give you a high five
10:31because that was an entrance.
10:34Okay, hold on. What now?
10:36So good to meet you.
10:38So good to meet you. What is your name?
10:40Gail.
10:41Gail. And how old are you?
10:43Ten.
10:44Well, very nice to meet you, Gail.
10:45Alyssa Edwards.
10:47I'm not going to give you my age, okay?
10:49But I will give you my resume and my experience.
10:53All right.
10:54Gail, now tell me, do you watch RuPaul's Drag Race?
10:58I've seen two seasons.
10:59You've seen two seasons. And what two seasons were they?
11:02Season six and season eight.
11:04Okay. Season six.
11:06He's got it down.
11:07Oh, my gosh. Gail, who did you come here with?
11:10Gail.
11:11Thank you so much for letting Gail come over here tonight
11:14and celebrate one of his best lives.
11:16What now?
11:18You can't get a picture.
11:20Come on, Gail. Get to the stage.
11:22Right here, Gail.
11:30Now, Gail, tell me, what is your favorite thing about RuPaul's Drag Race?
11:35Just to see that they're not hating.
11:42Oh, my God.
11:48I remember that.
11:51I remember that time when I was waiting for the world to change.
11:55Now I'm actually living it and I'm a part of it.
11:58So, it's all because of people like you.
12:02Are we doing this one more time?
12:06Gail, take a beat.
12:08Gail, why don't you go back there
12:11and I want you to pretend like you are walking down the runway of RuPaul's Drag Race.
12:17Show me how you would sit in that wall.
12:20Gail, are you trying to steal my drag show?
12:23Okay, I like that.
12:25Another high five.
12:26Take a big bow.
12:27You have so much fun tonight.
12:30I love it.
12:31Thank you, RuPaul's Drag Race.
12:33Fabulous.
12:34I like how you guys managed to get away with it.
12:36You got to steal the drag show.
12:38Thank you, RuPaul's Drag Race.
12:40Thank you, RuPaul's Drag Race.
12:42Thank you, RuPaul's Drag Race.
12:44Thank you, RuPaul's Drag Race.
12:46Thank you, RuPaul's Drag Race.
12:48Thank you for stealing the drag show from the other girls.
12:51I love that.
12:53Lindsay, thank you so very much.
12:55That was adorable.
12:57Adorable.
12:59This is a family-oriented show.
13:02Well, PG-17, maybe.
13:07PG-17?
13:09I think I'm PG-13.
13:11Well, Gail was 11, so I guess...
13:14You know what? I'm a queen for all ages.
13:19Glasgow, how the fuck are you doing?
13:27Cut the cameras, deadass.
13:29Have you seen...
13:32I'll show you later.
13:34She has enough air time.
13:36We do need to give her more time to talk to people on the camera.
13:40Cut the cameras, deadass.
13:48Well done, babe.
14:18Crystal!
14:34Crystal Curry!
14:43Crystal!
14:48Crystal Curry!
15:02John, we need your house lights in the front.
15:08She's a nurse.
15:10Just take a deep breath.
15:12We're going to take a 15-minute intermission.
15:1415-minute intermission. We'll be right back.
15:16We'll receive you, OK?
15:23She made someone pass out.
15:25Alyssa made someone pass out?
15:27You did.
15:29What do you mean?
15:31She was so excited.
15:33And she's like...
15:35Oh, right. You're being...
15:37I think in a good way.
15:39Oh, my God.
15:41My insurance does not cover killing people by being sickening.
15:48Well, I came out on stage and people fainted.
15:52That's exactly what happened.
15:54They fainted. Did y'all see that?
15:58I don't know. I'm thinking, is there a nurse in the building?
16:01Why are people just sitting around looking at this poor child?
16:03I'm about to jump off this damn stage in my heels
16:06and start saving lives.
16:08Now, that's a story.
16:10Fuck with me, fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo,
16:12and I've fought worse monsters.
16:14Alyssa Edwards, MD.
16:16In dance studios for years.
16:18I know how to...
16:20I see you nurturing wounds.
16:22Yeah. Maybe I'm in the back right now
16:24watching my kids in a dance competition giving notes.
16:26One of the trophies is getting handed out.
16:28Yeah, they're snatching all the trophies,
16:30and I'm giving them notes.
16:32Get that light back on.
16:34Will you take me to her?
16:36I don't know the story, but someone died.
16:38Someone passed out. The ambulance is on the way.
16:40She got too excited watching me.
16:42Wow.
16:44Do you want to turn the bag up?
16:46Oh, yeah.
16:48I'm going to make them all play with my ripples.
17:00She's fine.
17:02Someone set her on fire with a flamethrower a few years ago.
17:04Like, I think by mistake.
17:06But she's just had panic attacks about fire
17:08ever since, understandably.
17:10I was just trying to reassure her
17:12that, like, it's fine.
17:14And now hopefully she knows, like, where her limits are
17:16of, like, these are things I can handle
17:18and these are things that I can't handle.
17:20Um...
17:22I'm fine. Yeah, no, I'm absolutely fine.
17:24No, the only thing that's bothered me right now
17:26is that, like, I was consoling her
17:28and there were people queuing to, like, ask me for a photo.
17:30It's like, it's not the right time, guys.
17:32What? When you're on the road,
17:34people are asking for a picture.
17:36No, no, this girl that, like, had a...
17:38bad time.
17:40This girl had a panic attack in the front row during my number.
17:42What, and she wanted a selfie
17:44to calm her down? No, no, no, no, no.
17:46I went out to see her. She was freaking out still.
17:48And then while I was talking to her,
17:50people were queuing to, like, ask for a photo.
17:52I'm like, babes, it's not... Oh, God, no.
17:54No, no, no, no. It's not the time.
17:56You're doing the nice thing by making sure
17:58that somebody's OK. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
18:00And people are like, eh.
18:02OK, guys, let's all pray.
18:04Bippity-boppity.
18:06To the babby Jesus.
18:08Let's praise that woman.
18:10Because I knew that those...
18:12those, uh...
18:14those tools that you had
18:16belonged in a shell.
18:18Ha-ha-ha-ha!
18:20Heavenly Father, please bless this child
18:22that's coming to this drag show to have a good time.
18:24And sparks were flying.
18:26Amen.
18:28Amen.
18:32The winner.
18:34And that's why she's...
18:36I'll be your quick change
18:38and be an extra fabulous.
18:40Ha-ha-ha-ha!
18:44The...
18:46What's the story?
18:48Amen.
18:50Bag of chips is stunning.
18:52Bag of chips is class.
18:54Bag of chips is sexy.
18:56She takes it off the...
18:58Bag of poops is burning.
19:00So come take off your sweater
19:02cause that is much better, better, better, better.
19:10I don't wanna see you, baby.
19:12I don't wanna talk to you.
19:14I don't even need you, baby.
19:16I know what I wanna do.
19:18I've had enough of this ride.
19:20I've spent enough of my time.
19:22But I'm about to say, go blow your mind.
19:24I wanna break up.
19:26Tell you why.
19:28B-R-E-A-K-E-U-P.
19:30Let's go.
19:32You guys have been a fabulous audience.
19:34Thank you all for joining the cast.
19:36We'll show this to them.
19:42Please enjoy this.
19:44Let's go.
19:54One more to go.
19:56Just one more show to do.
19:58Tomorrow,
20:00I'm gonna stage dive.
20:02No, no.
20:04I will. I'm the lighter.
20:06See you in Manchester.