nobody's house episode 3
nobody's house episode 3
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00:00🎵
00:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
01:00I've told you a thousand times, now get lost, I'm busy.
01:18Darling, not before tea.
01:20Oh, Mum.
01:21Off, come on.
01:26Read a book or something.
01:28You've got plenty of homework, haven't you?
01:31What was all that noise about in the shop, anyway?
01:33You been scrounging again?
01:36Dad won't give us our pocket money.
01:38You had 50 pence last night, each of you.
01:40But that was for clearing the cellar.
01:42You see, I told you.
01:45You're just too soft, that's your trouble.
01:51What does he want it all so urgently for, anyway?
01:53It's that walk we're going on tomorrow with the Davidsons.
01:55He wants to take some pictures for the photographic competition.
01:58He needs a new film for his camera.
02:00And 50p won't...
02:01Films are expensive, Mum.
02:04All right.
02:05Start sticking this on the cakes, would you, darling?
02:07Thanks, Mum.
02:18Julie?
02:19Julie?
02:28Nobody.
02:31Nobody?
02:32What?
02:33Where are you?
02:34Here.
02:35Where?
02:36I don't know.
02:39What are you doing?
02:40Reading a book, can't you see?
02:42Upside down and the wrong way round?
02:45What's up?
02:46Nothing.
02:47You told me I'm your best mate, aren't I?
02:49Oh, it isn't much, really.
02:51Well, it's just that I've got to buy something for tomorrow.
02:53I haven't got enough money.
02:54Oh.
02:56But that's all right, I can get it for you.
02:57You will?
02:59Yeah.
03:00Sure, I can do that.
03:01I'll steal it.
03:02Ah!
03:03Oh, no, you won't.
03:04Oh, go on.
03:05Don't see me, I'll go invisible.
03:06I said no stealing.
03:07Now go and buzz off.
03:11Right.
03:12Left, left, left.
03:13Oh.
03:14That is left.
03:15Right.
03:17Left.
03:18Right, left.
03:19Right, right, left.
03:20OK, there we are.
03:24Is that what you wanted?
03:25Two for now.
03:26That's fine, darling.
03:28How's it going?
03:29Hmm?
03:30Business.
03:31Fine, fine.
03:33Tom was wondering whether he'd be getting his pocket money from you this week.
03:36He said so.
03:3750p?
03:38Well, that was for clearing the cellar last night.
03:40I'm not made of money, darling.
03:41Yeah, but they do have regular pocket money and last night's wasn't regular.
03:44It's a film.
03:46It's what?
03:47A film Tom needs for his camera.
03:49For this walk he's going tomorrow with the Davidsons.
03:51Oh, he's got that at 50p, hasn't he?
03:52But it's not enough.
03:54Well, I'll have to see.
03:57Isn't it only difficult to use that?
03:59Hmm?
04:00I mean about giving Tom the money.
04:01No, of course not.
04:02Then why not let him have it?
04:05I think the money I had last night was sufficient, OK?
04:09Don't make an issue out of it.
04:12Some small change in there.
04:13Yeah, that's better cash for the shop. You know that.
04:18For a shop that hasn't been selling very much lately.
04:22At least not this week.
04:24So the real reason about Tom's money is that we don't have any to spare?
04:28Yes, I suppose so.
04:31Right, let's settle it then.
04:33Gilly!
04:34Yes?
04:35Finish getting her seated, darling.
04:36OK.
04:38Bye, darling.
04:39Don't be long.
04:44Where are you going?
04:46To St Mark's Hospital.
04:49They've advertised for a staff nurse.
04:51Can't see the matron.
04:52What, to work there?
04:53Why not?
04:54They've got all the qualifications they need.
04:56They're not having you and the kids made miserable by not having enough money to go out and enjoy a day in the countryside.
05:01In a pint at the local...
05:02Sacky.
05:04A bit of hard work never killed anyone.
05:06Have my tea later.
05:08Bye, darling.
05:09Where's Mum going, Dad?
05:11Er, she's... she won't be long.
05:13Let's have some tea, shall we?
05:24Amazing.
05:26Quite amazing.
05:27Ah, it's afternoon.
05:28You do it all yourself?
05:29Well, we...
05:30I knew this house when I was a boy.
05:32I knew it.
05:33I knew it.
05:34I knew it.
05:35I knew it.
05:36I knew it.
05:37I knew it.
05:38I knew this house when I was a boy.
05:40Fields all round it then, of course.
05:42Yeah?
05:43An old man used to live here once.
05:45Book man he was.
05:46That's, um...
05:47Well, he opened this place up as a shop for a short while.
05:49But it didn't last.
05:51Oh, man.
05:52Oh, could I?
05:53It's a long way up that hill.
05:55Yeah, go on.
05:57Anyway, I heard you'd moved in, so I came up to have a look.
06:00Oh, I'm very glad that you did.
06:02Er, I'm Peter Sinclair.
06:03Sinclair.
06:04Oh, no.
06:05I've seen your advertising in the local paper.
06:07Oh, you in the business yourself?
06:08Me?
06:09Good Lord, no.
06:10Antiques are a complete mystery to me.
06:13Oh, er...
06:14My name's Small, by the way.
06:16Heathcote Oliver Small.
06:19And who are you?
06:20Old Tom.
06:21That's my son, Tom.
06:22Any brothers and sisters?
06:23Yes.
06:24Sister Jilly is in the kitchen.
06:25Oh, that's nice.
06:26Tom and Jilly.
06:28Very nice.
06:31So you think you'll be staying?
06:33Certainly hope so.
06:34Not all of them do, you know, so don't be too sure.
06:37What do you mean?
06:38Ghosts.
06:39This house is supposed to be haunted.
06:41Yes, so referred.
06:42But who believes in rubbish like that now and then?
06:45No, it's just a bit strange, is it?
06:46Oh.
06:48Just coming, Jilly.
06:51Would you, er, like a cup of tea with us, Mrs Small?
06:54Yes, I'd like that very much.
06:57Some more tea, Mr Small?
06:58No, I've had my two cups, thank you.
07:01As for the cakes, delicious.
07:03Yes, they were.
07:08Oh.
07:10OK, but not too loud.
07:12Come on, Jilly, we'll miss the bikini.
07:18Television man.
07:25He's nice, really nice.
07:27No, he's not.
07:31Nobody, what are you doing here?
07:33Been here all the time, haven't I?
07:35All you two were in there guzzling yourself silly.
07:37Even back in that shop when the old faggot first walked in.
07:40He's not an old faggot.
07:41Well, going around saying,
07:42nobody believes in that sort of rubbish nowadays.
07:44What sort of talk is that?
07:46I'd a good mind to go back in there and tip them
07:48and milk down his rotten old trousers.
07:50That'd show him.
07:51Nobody.
07:52Well, don't like him.
07:53So much fishy about him, I reckon.
07:55Oh, shut up now.
07:56Just sit down and watch.
07:57Me, watch all them pictures coming out of nowhere?
07:59Unnatural, that is.
08:00Dead spooky.
08:06Ah.
08:14You've got a nice little business here, Mr Sinclair.
08:17Yes, yes, I have.
08:18I suppose you've got all the stuff you need.
08:20For the shop, I mean.
08:22Er, short on customers, that's all.
08:24You're not buying things then?
08:25Not at the moment, no.
08:26I see.
08:27Why?
08:28Oh, nothing.
08:30Well, er, a picture.
08:32I brought it with me.
08:33As I said, I know nothing about these things.
08:35But being a bit short at the moment,
08:37I thought you might be interested.
08:39I'm sorry, no.
08:40It's a portrait.
08:41Not a large one, but quite unique.
08:43Unique?
08:44You've heard of Lord Frisby?
08:46What, the, er, the historian?
08:48My grandmother had it and her mother before,
08:50so it goes back quite a bit.
08:52Of course, I'm very sorry to part with it.
08:54Well, I'm not buying at the moment, Mr Small.
08:56I've added value.
08:57Don't they say 100?
08:58I'd let you have it for 60.
09:01You're making this very difficult.
09:03I've got it outside on the bike.
09:05If you'd just see it, that's all.
09:07I won't travel you again.
09:09Very well.
09:10I'll bring it into the shop.
09:22What's he up to, this bloke?
09:31There he is.
09:33Lord Frisby, the great historian.
09:36He lived nearby, you know, at Casselet Hall.
09:39Yes, yes, I know.
09:41I tried to go there once,
09:43but they don't exactly encourage visitors.
09:45Who's he by, do you know?
09:47Some local painter, I suppose.
09:49But it's the subject and not the artist
09:51that gives the portrait its value.
09:53Lord Frisby was a bit of a recluse.
09:55He hated publicity.
09:57And this is the only known portrait of him.
10:02I'll take it.
10:03Splendid. I thought you would.
10:05How much did you say now?
10:0750?
10:0860.
10:13Look, I would prefer cash, if that's all right.
10:17I've got it.
10:28WHISTLE BLOWS
10:45WHISTLE BLOWS
10:47Er, I'm awfully sorry, I've only got 40 at the moment.
10:50You couldn't come back tomorrow, could you?
10:52Well, er...
10:55Tell you what, I'll take that for the moment,
10:58you keep the picture and I'll pop back tomorrow for the rest.
11:01Splendid.
11:02I hope you get a nice price for it.
11:04Yes, er, so do I.
11:18Hey!
11:20What the...?
11:22It was me.
11:23What did you do that for, stupid?
11:25It's your daddy's being done by, that geezer.
11:27What are you talking about?
11:28The one who came here for tea.
11:30He said he had a painting to sell, only his dad didn't want to buy.
11:33When he saw the painting, he did.
11:35Only the painting isn't the one the bloke says it is.
11:37What?
11:38You heard, didn't you?
11:39Now, push off.
11:40Listen, I'm trying to help.
11:41It isn't the painting the bloke says it is.
11:43What do you know about paintings?
11:44Oh, go on, nobody, we just have to speak slowly, that's all.
11:47Well, when I were a kid still alive,
11:49I'd go scrumping for apples in folks' orchards.
11:51Anyhow, one day we were over at Castle Hall.
11:53Where's that?
11:54Oh, it's a big place, about 15 miles away.
11:56Lord Frisby used to live there.
11:58Only he were dead now, so his son owned the place instead.
12:00There I was, up in the apple tree,
12:02me pockets jam-packed with lovely red rosy apples,
12:05when the head gardener comes along and nicks me.
12:07Up to his lordship's stead, he says.
12:09Ah, choking me down the neck.
12:10You haven't got some explaining to do, my lad.
12:12Anyhow, I'm not going too fast for you, am I?
12:14No, go on, nobody.
12:15Well, see, this is how I got to know about the picture.
12:17Just as we get us into the study, they let us go on me.
12:20So I takes me a chance and dodges behind the settee,
12:23trying to make for the open window seat, and I'm here.
12:26And up there, up there was a painting of old Lord Frisby himself,
12:29the one who wrote all the history books.
12:31Well, by now, the son's in the study with the gardener as well.
12:35They're going bloody trying to catch me.
12:37I'm jumping everywhere, on his table,
12:39stacking his papers everywhere, on his chairs,
12:42and just then, just then,
12:44he picks up this massive paperweight and bums it at me.
12:47It goes whistling over the top of my head
12:49and smashes straight into the painting of his old man.
12:51Makes it all so big, you can put your fist through it.
12:54Now look what you've made me do, he says.
12:56The only painting I've ever had done of my father,
12:58and you've made me damage it.
13:00He was so upset.
13:01So he takes me a chance, gets through the open window,
13:04runs all the way home, and that's it.
13:06Yeah, but what's that got to do with the painting that Dad's just bought?
13:11I know the lot's visible up at Castle Hall now.
13:13I've just been back to the study to have a look.
13:15Well, the painting's still there.
13:17It's all patched up now, but it's still hanging on the wall.
13:20So how come your father just paid 60 quid to a painting that doesn't exist?
13:24Are you saying Mr Small's a crook? An art forger?
13:28Have you got any other suggestions?
13:41£40.
13:44You can buy a house for £40 and go round the world.
13:47Oh, do talk sense.
13:49You can't, I met this bloke once at a time with it.
13:51Look, nobody, that happened over 140 years ago.
13:54Are you calling me a liar? Watch it.
13:56Shut up, both of you.
13:58We still haven't decided what we're going to do yet.
14:00Well, we don't have to do anything.
14:02Just let Dad lose the money.
14:04Look, we don't know the picture downstairs is a fake, do we?
14:07Look, there he goes again.
14:09Look, I've seen the real painting, fatty.
14:11I'm trying to do your old man a favour.
14:13So suggest the next step.
14:15I don't know. I'm not a picture expert, am I?
14:17We'll just have to look at the painting, won't we?
14:19What for?
14:20It's not that we don't believe you, nobody.
14:22It's just that you might be wrong, that's all.
14:24But I'm not wrong.
14:25Yes, but if we're going to confront Mr Small with the evidence
14:28when he comes back to collect the rest of that money,
14:30we've got to be sure we're right.
14:32They could sue Dad otherwise.
14:34What's that?
14:35It means if you call someone a crook and they're not a crook,
14:38they can make you pay a lot of money.
14:40And Dad doesn't have a lot of money.
14:43I wish they'd hurry up down there.
14:52I think I'm going to bed.
14:55Quite a day, isn't it?
14:57Me getting that picture like that and you getting your job.
15:00We'll make it, you'll see.
15:03Mr and Mrs Peter Sinclair attended the antique dealers' fair
15:05at the Dorchester last week.
15:09Having sold a modest half-dozen Chippendales,
15:11they're left to buy their new Rolls Royce in Berkeley Square.
15:14Darling, all that is what we're trying to get away from.
15:17What have you forgotten?
15:19I've forgotten to lock up the shop.
15:22They're going.
15:23Come on, then.
15:34Right.
15:35No talking.
15:41I'm sorry.
15:42I'm sorry.
15:43I'm sorry.
15:44I'm sorry.
15:45I'm sorry.
15:46I'm sorry.
15:47I'm sorry.
15:48I'm sorry.
15:49I'm sorry.
15:50I'm sorry.
15:58Good night, darling.
16:20It wasn't me, it was you.
16:27It wasn't.
16:28Quiet.
16:29Where's the painting?
16:30It's there.
16:31Run down to the cellar.
16:32Why not up here?
16:33It's moist out there, stupid.
16:35Come on.
16:36Come on.
16:37Come on.
16:39Come on.
16:40Come on.
16:41Come on.
16:42Come on.
16:49Come on.
16:56Come on.
17:03Where did the paperweight hit it, nobody?
17:17There.
17:18Right through his shoulder.
17:19Just there.
17:20No sign of it being damaged.
17:21Turn it over.
17:22They'd repair it from the back.
17:23See?
17:24Told you.
17:25That still doesn't mean it's a fake.
17:26I mean, old Lord Frisby could have had another one painted, and nobody knew anything about
17:37it.
17:38It's not what the bloke in the study said.
17:40Look, nobody, that apple-stealing expedition of yours happened over a hundred years ago.
17:44You could be remembering everything that happened wrongly.
17:47What do you mean, over a hundred years ago?
17:49I went apple-scrumping a month before I died, right?
17:52So I'm remembering everything that happened to me last year.
17:56Seems awfully complicated, being a ghost sometimes.
17:58No, it's not.
17:59It's dead easy.
18:00Hope you see what I mean.
18:01Hand me that knife, will you?
18:02What are you going to do?
18:03I can't sleep.
18:04Get some tea, darling.
18:05Ow!
18:06That hurts.
18:07Sorry, it's not my fault.
18:08I'm sorry.
18:09I'm sorry.
18:10I'm sorry.
18:11I'm sorry.
18:12I'm sorry.
18:13I'm sorry.
18:14I'm sorry.
18:15I'm sorry.
18:16I'm sorry.
18:17I'm sorry.
18:18I'm sorry.
18:19I'm sorry.
18:20I'm sorry.
18:21I'm sorry.
18:22I'm sorry.
18:23I'm sorry.
18:24I'm sorry.
18:25Remember what Dad told us about art forges?
18:27How they paint over old canvases just to make the painting seem genuine.
18:32Well, usually...
18:34Tom, you mustn't.
18:36They've already had a painting on underneath.
18:38And if you're very clever, you can find traces of it and...
18:46Look, it isn't even dry yet!
18:48There's somebody coming!
18:49Oh, don't be silly, nobody.
18:51They're both asleep upstairs.
18:55I'll get the door.
19:23Tom?
19:24Zoe?
19:25See, told you.
19:26I'm off.
19:29What on earth are you doing down here?
19:31Um...
19:32Thought we heard a noise, Dad.
19:34It's no use, Tom.
19:36We'll have to know sooner or later.
19:39What's...
19:40It's the picture, Dad.
19:42It's a fake.
19:43Afraid you've been heard.
19:50Have you apologised to your father yet?
19:53I mean, I simply do not know what came into you.
19:56How dare you take it upon yourselves to interfere with his work,
19:59spoil his property, embarrass him so hideously like that.
20:03But, Mum, the pictures are fake. Even Dad had missed out.
20:06He was very upset last night.
20:07He even talked about going back to London and taking up his old job again.
20:11At least you could have come to me first.
20:13We could have decided together the best way to handle the whole thing.
20:17I'm sorry, Mum.
20:19It's not me who's been hurt.
20:21Go on. He's in the shop now.
20:23He won't be cross any longer, I promise you.
20:27KNOCK AT DOOR
20:48What are you going to say?
20:51See what sort of news he's in first.
20:54Sir.
21:03I hope...
21:08It's all right. You can go in now, I promise.
21:11Go on.
21:24Come in, come in.
21:27Well, I just don't know what to say.
21:30You're brilliant, both of you, equally together.
21:33What do you mean, Dad?
21:34Whatever trick Mr Heathcote Oliver Small was trying to play
21:37by painting fake portraits on an old canvas,
21:39he obviously had no idea what was hidden underneath.
21:42Why, is it valuable?
21:43It's a Hardy.
21:44What's that?
21:45A seascape by Hardy.
21:47Does that make the painting seem good, Dad?
21:50It makes it worth ten times what I paid for it.
21:53Quick, put the cloth over.
21:59Good morning.
22:03Something wrong, is there?
22:05No, not unless you've come for the rest of your money.
22:08Well...
22:09Tom.
22:13You see, the real portrait is in Castlet Hall, 15 miles away.
22:17But Lord Frisby doesn't encourage visitors,
22:19particularly antique dealers,
22:20so there was every chance I'd never learn of your little deception.
22:24I suppose you want the 40 pounds back.
22:27Er, no, no, we'll put that down to experience, shall we?
22:32Just so long as you never show your face in this shop again.
22:40Fair bargain, don't you think?
22:42You were great, Dad. You didn't have a chance.
22:44No, what would I have done without your help?
22:47Er, someone's left a couple of quid on the telly.
22:52How do you know the real portrait is in Castlet Hall, anyway?
22:56A friend told me, Dad.
22:58Who?
22:59I can't remember his name.
23:01Anybody I know?
23:04Nobody, Dad.
23:44THE END