the ghosts of motley hall season 1 episode 2
the ghosts of motley hall season 1 episode 2
Transcript
01:00Oh, yeah.
01:02Oh, yeah.
01:03Wake up, Fanny!
01:28Oh, hello, Matt.
01:33You were appearing in your sleep.
01:34Was I?
01:35Oh, that's bad.
01:36I was dreaming.
01:37What about?
01:38Feeling alive.
01:39Hey, I've just seen a something.
01:40Oh.
01:41What sort of a something?
01:42I don't know.
01:43It's like a kind of blurry sort of nothing sort of shape.
01:44Only it didn't have much shape, really.
01:45And there was chains clanking and a groaning noise.
01:46Fanny!
01:47Tell Fromeo, Romeo, wherefore tell Fromeo?
01:48Who?
01:49Tell Fromeo, Romeo, wherefore tell Fromeo?
01:50Tell Fromeo, Romeo, wherefore tell Fromeo?
01:51Tell Fromeo, Romeo, wherefore tell Fromeo?
01:52Tell Fromeo, Romeo, wherefore tell Fromeo?
01:53Tell Fromeo, Romeo, wherefore tell Fromeo?
01:55Fanny!
01:56Tell Fromeo, Romeo, wherefore tell Fromeo?
01:57Who?
01:58Yeah, you not never heard of Romeo?
01:59A racehorse?
02:00No, a lover.
02:01Oh.
02:02He died for love, he did.
02:03Then he must have been daft.
02:04With griping grief the heart doth wound.
02:05I've just seen a...
02:06With doleful doubts the mind oppressed.
02:07Will you listen?
02:08Then music with her silver wand.
02:09Bodkin!
02:10With speedy help doth lend redress.
02:11Fanny!
02:12Fanny!
02:13Fanny!
02:14Fanny!
02:15Fanny!
02:16Fanny!
02:17Fanny!
02:18Fanny!
02:19Fanny!
02:20Fanny!
02:21Fanny!
02:22Fanny!
02:23Fantasy isn't the only thing there is on the field
02:24when you can write.
02:25There's of course, a fascinating...
02:26Yes?
02:27Very, very popular play, Romeo and Juliet.
02:28Not very funny but then I didn't have very much in it.
02:33But it...
02:34Matt?
02:35Matt?
02:36A flappierd knave!
02:39Thousands of them, yelling like demons
02:40and banging their spears against their shields.
02:44I think it's...exciting.
02:46Thrilling!
02:47What shall we do?
02:51stand and fight, I said. wasn't that little fool Hardy? no he wasn't there. who wasn't there?
03:00that little fool Hardy. got rid of him. sent him on leave, confounded idiot. where was I?
03:05facing thousands of fuzzy waffles. ah yes yes yes. stand and fight I said. that's what we'll do.
03:12we'll show these savages how Englishmen can die. did you? oh yes. absolute massacre.
03:20only about ten of us got away. mind you I think the ammunition had something to do with it.
03:27oh why? wrong size. wouldn't fit in the rifles. whose fault was that?
03:35I think we're in for some more rain.
03:39Sir George! I've just seen a something in the Great Hall.
03:42something? aye. like a groaning and clanking. I tried to tell Bodkin and Fanny about it but they wouldn't listen.
03:48clanking? like chains rattling or something. and moans. what sort of moans?
03:58very nasty. didn't look like anything. just a foggy sort of mist. foggy? mist.
04:06oh it couldn't be could it? why? old gory. sounds as if it might be. does a bit.
04:16but he can't be due again yet surely can he? he could be. but it seems only yesterday that he was here last.
04:22who's old gory? what? he was here before Mottler was built. well legend has it. yes yes.
04:30seems there's some sort of skirmish on this spot during the Wars of the Roses and old gory was in it.
04:37he doesn't appear very often. thank goodness. about once every five years. which is more than often enough.
04:42why? because he's so boring and miserable he never stops moaning. well I know I enjoy a good moan
04:49but at least I don't ever do it. no. no well. better warn the others I suppose.
05:00oh no not him again. are you sure? I tried to tell you but you wouldn't stop Romeoing.
05:05Romeo? he's even more boring than... and he's so visible. visible? I can hardly see him.
05:14you wait till he really appears. he's one of them conspicuous spectres. everybody can see him.
05:20not only us. you mean live people? I've always seen him when I was alive. every five years
05:27regular as clockwork. my governess even did a drawing of him. you never get rid of him. he hangs
05:32about for days. he was here first wasn't he? yeah I think so. oh I don't know. I can't help feeling a bit
05:39sorry for him. well you'd be miserable if you knew you weren't welcome. why don't we try and be a bit
05:45more friendly. cheer him up a bit. I'd rather cheer up a funeral. you could tell him some of your jokes.
05:51we could try and cheer him up a bit I suppose. the old me cock. he was born miserable died
05:58miserable and still miserable and nothing we can do will change that. Hark! a rattling of chains!
06:04I wish you wouldn't do that. he's here. for shucks. there's someone a-locking the front door.
06:17anyone in? come on Margaret we haven't got all day.
06:28careful with that Margaret. don't just bang it down any old hole. it's very heavy Jack. no it isn't.
06:37all right then it mustn't hang about. let's get the rest of it. has he bought motley? I hope not.
06:43what's all that stuff? heaven alone knows. they don't look the sort that can see us.
06:48oh you can't tell. it's best to be on the safe side.
06:58Margaret! I'm sorry Jack. it's just what I've been looking for. it's been empty for over 20 years
07:07the estate agent said. 20 years? ah we go a long way to find a better place on this.
07:13they are buying it. seems a shame really. it's a trespassing. you know you're troubling Margaret.
07:18too much imagination. now this is going to be a scientifically controlled experiment.
07:23where are the thermometers? thermometers? don't say you forgot them Margaret. oh no no Jack.
07:29I know I packed them. well where are they then? you can't lose 48 thermometers. 48 thermometers.
07:35perhaps he's starting a hospital. I've got him. why do you need so many Jack?
07:40why do I need so many? glad she asked that question. it's a big place isn't it?
07:53right. that should be enough in here.
08:11I don't think he's very well.
08:24what do you think?
08:28yes dear. very nice.
08:30I wish you'd show a little more interest.
08:33uh where's the cotton? Margaret bring me the cotton.
08:43I'm going to get one. I can I can feel it. I can feel it in my bones.
08:46what's the lunatic doing? do you think he's harmless?
09:12talcum powder.
09:17no lavender. it doesn't matter what it smells like.
09:25bless you.
09:30that should rule out any hunky punky. hanky panky. what if you want to go upstairs?
09:37well we go that way. oh you're so enthusiastic aren't you eh? whatever comes down these stairs
09:45and doesn't move anything will be a ghost and I shall photograph it however long it takes.
09:52the moment the temperature drops I shall know. I shall know they're here.
09:57you need a lot of patience Margaret. yes dear. you know your trouble Margaret.
10:01you've no imagination. it's a very unusual hobby is ghost hunting.
10:09I hope this film's sensitive enough.
10:11right
10:16I'm going to have a really thorough look round.
10:20are you coming? I just finished this row. a ghost hunter! I've never heard anything
10:26such as this in my life. makes me feel like some sort of rare beetle. here he wants a few pictures.
10:32yeah what's the army there? great grandson man. don't you understand what'll happen if he does
10:37great grandson man. don't you understand what'll happen if he does manage to photograph us?
10:41he'd go away wouldn't he? go away? of course he won't go away. he'll want more and more pictures.
10:45portraits, family groups, informal studies. make no mistake if this lout gets his way in no time
10:52at all that place will be crawling with ghost hunters. all right all right you've made your point.
10:59no pictures. how do we get rid of him? well it ain't gonna be easy. if we do do something
11:04it'll make him want to stay. if we don't he'll stay anyhow. yeah a bit of a problem there.
11:11he's coming. I found a corridor like an icebox. it just has to be haunted Margaret.
11:17come on woman. come and see.
11:20come on this way. yes. you two go and watch him. he might be preparing a trap for us.
11:25listen. oh look. it's him.
11:31so gory.
11:35that dreadful man sees him. he's bound to see him. everyone sees old gory.
11:38well that looks like a place to see me. where?
12:08in all the books they say that there's a sudden dramatic drop in temperature when ghosts are about
12:24and that places where they appear are unusually cold anyhow. you've got to admit that this
12:29this corridor is unusually cold isn't it Margaret? so is our bedroom Jack. you've never seen a ghost
12:34oh you're so encouraging aren't you eh? now this place has a reputation for being haunted.
12:39that's why I choose it. a lot of places have. a lot of places are. maybe. are and I'm going
12:45to prove that Motley is. I just don't want you being disappointed that's all. disappointed? why
12:50should I be disappointed? well like you were over that cinema organ. why did you have to bring that
12:54up? I'd have finished it if they'd sent me all the parts. I just wish you'd get rid of the parts
12:58they did send you. I've got nowhere to keep my vacuum cleaner. oh it's typical of you Margaret
13:02I'm about to make a real psychic breakthrough and all you can think of is where to put your
13:06vacuum cleaner. it's enough to discourage the most optimistic researcher it really is.
13:13it happened. suddenly it happened. what did? it dropped didn't you feel it?
13:20but they're here. suddenly they're not wet again. oh look now I dropped a stitch.
13:26damn thing. I'm sure now. this is the place. I'll get my pictures if I have to come here every day.
13:35every day? keep it back. money will not be worth your buckles if you do that again.
13:40well well and how have you been keeping? I've been well. it's all well. oh well sorry to hear
13:47that. what's up? you get these terrible headaches? no. what sort of headaches? hey
13:58he said
14:01he said what sort of headaches? splitting headaches. poor old chap. that ain't all.
14:09no I didn't think it would be. wound in my leg keeps playing up. sometimes I think I'll never
14:14walk again. you'd like that wouldn't you? oh come now don't be ridiculous. yes I was waiting for
14:23that. I expected it. that's what you think of me isn't it? I'm just a ridiculous old man what's
14:28no use anymore to burden and nuisance. oh yes. he's all right. uh we didn't expect you so soon
14:36actually. I said we didn't expect you quite so soon as a matter of fact. didn't you? oh no we uh
14:49took us a bit by surprise actually.
14:54can't you stop this excessive perambulation? a century ago. you should know about that by now.
15:00you were general. oh you see yes no understanding. no consideration. no sympathy. I could strangle him.
15:10how? why don't you sit down old chap? I don't want to sit down. yeah come on sit down. take
15:17the weight off your head. there's a good chap. I don't want no favors off any of you.
15:29it ain't going to be treated like an invalid. now of course you don't. we merely want you to...
15:34yes I know what you say about me when I ain't here so don't you think I don't? we're always
15:40very happy to see you ain't we? you won't get around me with a lot of can so it's no good you
15:46trying. I've suffered nothing but indifference and neglect at your hands. oh the mortification I've
15:52endured. oh the wretched depths of my misery. oh Gloriana. how do we get rid of him? well being
16:00nice to him ain't the way sir George. only make him worse. the more we try the gloomier he's going
16:05to get. what do you think we should do? tell him what we really think of him. insult him into going.
16:09he likes being insulted. it's an excuse for being miserable. but we have to think of something to
16:14make him go. if that ghost hunters his head. yes he will. everybody does and then... a photograph of
16:19they'll run special trains. now what are you whispering about? you mind your own business
16:24you miserable old decapitation. you sit there looking like you won yourself an affair. you
16:29expect us to put up with your moaning and groaning? oh yes go on insult me. you like doing that don't
16:35you? go on pour scorn on my affliction. I'd like to pour boiling oil on it. you hear that? did you
16:43hear what he said? you better keep quiet. you're as bad and so is that simpering shade there.
16:49yes you'd like to get rid of me wouldn't you? oh yes you would yes. I'm only an old burden aren't
16:55I? a million old soldier would gave up his head for king and country. officials. nothing but harsh
17:02words and mockery every time I appear. and not once have I complained. if I want to haunt this
17:08place there's nothing any of you can do to stop me. he's right nothing. look uh a gory old boy.
17:16there's something you should know. you've been keeping it from me have you? look you old windbag
17:22we can't get a word in edgeway. I ain't talking to you. good. there's someone in the house.
17:29a person. oh so that's it is it? yes he's he's looking for ghosts. well he might be lucky
17:37he's a ghost hunter. yes with a machine for making pictures. pictures of us. and that's why we want
17:44you to get rid of him. and I know why because my picture wouldn't be good enough would it? no.
17:50yes I mean we don't want him to take pictures of any of us. don't you understand? I understand
17:57all right because I'm more interesting. but a picture would bring hundreds of people to
18:05Martley. now you don't want that do you? I don't care. I only appear here every five years.
18:12but dammit man what about the rest of us? you'll have to get used to it. you rusty old bucket.
18:17you see what you've done? he's got us now. he's coming. he's convinced we're here.
18:24Osbud what about him? he won't go. they'll see him. everybody does. we know that. get him.
18:30stop thieves. stop villains. stop thieves. stop villains. where's the rest of you?
18:41violence. bring back my body. shut up they'll hear you. put me down.
18:49where is it? where's what? the other bit. I thought you got it. we thought you had it.
18:54I'll take this. you bring that. I'll go drop it. no Jack. right let's go. yes Jack.
19:13where is it? I don't know. what? it ain't there. it's not there. it must be. I tell you it ain't.
19:18keep calm everyone. don't lose your heads. I want my body back. shut up.
19:25it's with the others most like. do you know where they went? I'm lost. lost. no you ain't.
19:31well part you ain't. look on the bright side. it'll be easier to find the big bit.
19:36how did you get separated? they bore me away. oh they were too. I don't know.
19:42thieves. body snatchers. shut up.
19:46I'm warning you. I'll put you in the cellar.
19:50if you don't stop what you're doing you may never see your body again.
19:53you see? he couldn't move on his own could he? I don't see how. the screaming scars of hollow
19:58manor can. that's true. yes he blows about all over the place. screaming of course. of course.
20:04Matt. maybe Matt got it. that's it. he followed me from the corridor.
20:08if you're looking for old Gorey's head I'll put it in the cellars. splendid.
20:13serve him right if we lock him in there. you better go and get it. oh where's the body? in there.
20:21I hope the lad remembers where he's put it. of course he will. he's a bright boy isn't he Matt?
20:41there he is. he's gone quiet hasn't he? perhaps he's nodded off.
20:46hmm very quiet. are you sure he's still in there? have a look.
20:53hello Gorey. you're gonna be sensible from now on. where's the rest of me?
21:01what's it worth? Jiminy it's gone. it's gone. don't be funny funny. it's the truth. how ghastly.
21:12hello me old custard.
21:17I've got some rather bad news for you. you keep away from me. I want my body back. yes of course
21:24you do. it's understandable. you're very attached to it. uh uh were very attached to it. it belongs
21:29to me. oh no you can't have it. what do you mean? oh well we're frightfully sorry but you ain't lost
21:36it. mislaid. mislaid is the word. you fiends. you evil villains. what a lot of fuss to make over a body.
21:53I've just had a dreadful thought. not too dreadful. well supposing the body meets the ghost hunters.
21:59what a dreadful thought. I mustn't. we've got to find it. it can't have gone far on its own
22:04well how do I know? you go look upstairs. you two go back along the corridors.
22:08I'll go in the bell tower and the rest of you wait. I'll go with you. you stop and guard that.
22:19oh frightfully sorry about this. I know how you must feel. oh excuse me.
22:26I know how you must feel. must be very trying.
22:31the thing is you see it uh wandered off before we could stop it. I shall hold you
22:36all responsible if you lose it. it's a disaster. it's no good on its own.
22:50I'll give it three seconds this time Margaret. Jack I know I don't know much about
22:55photography but well should that little black thing be over the lens?
23:00well why didn't you tell me? I've taken 20 pictures.
23:13and you leave immediately. I know when I'm not wanted. I'm going. I'm going now. wait. what is it?
23:21does he have to carry it? what do you mean? why doesn't he wear it? wear it? on his shoulders.
23:29god oh what a marvelous idea.
23:33yeah I never thought of that.
23:42oh it's looking better already. that's it. capital.
23:47oh bravo. how does it feel? it feels different. it's a marked improvement. is it? oh absolutely.
23:56yes it's definitely you. feels a bit wobbly. well you can practice. you've got five years.
24:01five years so I have. do you really think it looks better? capital. you aren't poking fun at me are
24:08you? not at all. of course not. lovely. well I'll see you in five years time. do you have to go?
24:29well thought out Matt. yeah got a good head on his shoulders that boy.
24:33you'd have been miserable carrying your head in your hands all the time wouldn't you? quite.
24:43we coming back tomorrow? no Margaret. I haven't the patience.
24:48besides I'm beginning to wonder if it if it isn't all imagination.
24:53tell you something I'll build you that rock for you on Sunday. that is a narrow escape.
25:03you'll be all right now. I think he's given up ghost hunting. yeah thank you.
26:03you