Movie
Movie
  • 5 months ago
Transcript
00:00Once upon a time, there were three little girls who went to the police academy.
00:16And they were each assigned very hazardous duties.
00:22But I took them away from all that, and now they work for me.
00:26My name is Charlie.
01:30Okay.
01:41Hey!
01:44Oh, my God!
01:46Oh, my God!
01:49Get out of there!
01:51Oh, my God!
01:53Oh, my God!
01:57Get out of there!
02:00Oh, my God!
02:05Oh, my God! Help!
02:20Well, what kind of people are the victims, Mr. Strauss?
02:23Just people, boss. No big shots, no super-rich people. Just ordinary people.
02:29This thing has happened to every ship I sent out during the last six months.
02:34Open steam valves, stairways collapsing, somebody disappearing from aboard.
02:40At least two incidents on every voyage.
02:43And you have no idea who could be responsible? An enemy, maybe, or a competitor?
02:49No. No one.
02:51Every nickel I have is in this company.
02:53My company has a public image of being jinxed, so I have no passengers.
02:57Without passengers, I'm ruined.
03:00Is the insurance company going to send an investigator with your ship that sails on Thursday?
03:04No, but they did approve my sending for private investigators.
03:08That is, if I can talk your people into sailing on a jinxed ship.
03:12There's a significant difference between this and all the other high-risk cases you've been on.
03:17The other times, you could walk, run or crawl to the nearest exit.
03:21But not this time.
03:23Not even angels can walk home from the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
03:27So, it's your decision.
03:31Well, Charlie, none of us has ever been on an ocean cruise.
03:34So, if we're going to take a boat, we're going to have to go on a cruise.
03:38None of us has ever been on an ocean cruise.
03:40So, if we're going to take a vote, I say we take the case.
03:44How about you, Bree?
03:48Okay. I vote yes.
03:50Kelly?
03:52I vote yes.
03:53If anybody is interested, I vote yes also.
03:57All right, angels. Then I suggest you start packing.
04:00I'll get the insurance company reports.
04:02Bosley, you check the shipping company's logs.
04:05See what you can find by way of suspects.
04:07Right. Now, after I've done that, Charlie, what then?
04:11I don't think I'm following you, Bosley.
04:13Well, I mean, when the ship sails, do I wave goodbye from the dock or the deck?
04:18Well, now, I hadn't thought about that.
04:20Charlie, I think somebody should stay here to watch the store.
04:25You know, first-class accommodations and delicious food,
04:29well, that doesn't really interest you, Bosley.
04:33Jill's right, Charlie.
04:35I don't think it'd be fair to make Bosley go with us.
04:38Well, why don't you vote on it?
04:40I think we already have.
04:42Well, not officially. How do you vote, Bosley?
04:44I am already outvoted.
04:47I vote yes.
04:48I vote yes.
04:49I vote yes.
04:51Yes, what? Yes, I stay here, or yes, I go along?
04:59Charlie, I think I'm going.
05:02I'm not surprised, Bosley.
05:04Oh, my God!
05:06What's that, Bosley?
05:08We have a visitor.
05:10A visitor? Someone I know?
05:12I don't think so. He's deaf, dumb, and blind.
05:16Somebody penned a mannequin to the door, Charlie, with a note.
05:20It says, do not sail on the Belle Helene.
05:22It's written in block letters with a felt-tip pen.
05:25Oh, that tells us one thing.
05:27Yeah, that the murderer knows who we are, where to find us, and that we're working on this case.
05:32All right, let's find out who our suspects are.
05:35Passengers, crew members, anybody who was on board through all those deadly voyages.
05:41Now, according to the insurance investigator's report,
05:44Cooper, the chief engineer, doesn't think there is a killer.
05:47Suspects nobody.
05:49Jerry and Mayer, she says.
05:52She's terrified, but won't quit her job because she needs the money.
05:55She suspects Cooper is the villain because he knows the ship so well.
05:59Next, I've got Todd Lavin, ship's purser.
06:03He says he suspects Cherian, the girl singer, because she's the least likely suspect.
06:09And last is Harry Dana, mind reader, fortune teller, and comedian.
06:14He's told everybody and anybody who listened to him that he knows who the killer is.
06:18He's seen him, not with his eyes and his mind.
06:21He claims to have clairvoyant powers.
06:24The killer, according to Harry, is six feet two, weighs 190 pounds,
06:28has blue eyes, brown hair, and a rugged chin.
06:31Mmm, heaven.
06:34Bon voyage, angels.
06:38Hello.
06:39Welcome aboard the Billy Lane. I'm Todd Lavin, your purser.
06:41If you have any questions or problems, do bring them to me.
06:44You'll find that your luggage has been placed in your cabins.
06:47Check it to make sure that nothing has been misplaced or misrouted.
06:50How soon do we sail?
06:52Within the hour.
06:55Um, where is everybody?
06:57Well, the crew is making ready to get underway,
06:59and the passengers are in their cabins, I expect.
07:01If you'll follow the stewards, they will show you to your accommodations.
07:04Thank you very much.
07:05Once we're underway, the captain invites you to join him
07:08for pre-dinner cocktails or champagne in the saddle.
07:11Delegate, thank you very much. We accept.
07:13Thank you.
07:14Thank you.
07:24Thank you.
07:48Hello, Charlie. We're all aboard.
07:50Fine. Hold on while I call the angels.
07:55Hi, Charlie.
08:01Hi, Charlie. It's Jill.
08:03Hi, Charlie.
08:05All right, team. We're all on the line now.
08:07How do you like your ocean cruise so far?
08:10Oh, fun.
08:11If you call getting a threatening note from the killer
08:13while you're still tied to the dock having fun.
08:15I got one, too. It was in my suitcase.
08:17Yeah, me, too.
08:19Mine was pinned to a life jacket.
08:21What did they say?
08:23Mine says, leave the ship now
08:26or learn to be a long-distance swimmer.
08:29The life you save will be your own.
08:32Listen to this.
08:33Hi there, cutie.
08:34Among your planned shipboard activities
08:36are screaming, pain, and two depressing funerals.
08:39Won't that be fun? End of quote.
08:42Kelly?
08:43Oh, mine's brief and to the point.
08:45It reads, Bon voyage. You're dead.
08:48Sabrina?
08:49Says, uh, I love you, I'll prove it,
08:52you won't like it, I don't care.
08:54I don't think there's much question
08:56but that you're dealing with someone who's mentally deranged.
08:59Well, deranged or not, nobody's gonna ruin my first cruise.
09:03Mine either.
09:05Just be careful, Angels.
09:07There's no way to tell which way this killer will move.
09:20¶¶
09:48I don't care what anybody says about a jinxed company.
09:52Me and Mrs. Gao sailed on the old Valhallaine 50 years ago.
09:56More, huh?
09:58On our honeymoon.
09:59Of course, we didn't have champagne
10:01with the captain for supper that trip.
10:04Appreciate it, captain, thank you.
10:06Anyhow, he was coming on his anniversary cruise
10:09come hell or high water.
10:10I do kind of feel strange being on a big boat like this
10:14with no more than a spew on it.
10:16Well, Mr. Gao, Mrs. Gao, and to all of you,
10:18I promise the only difference between this cruise and any other
10:21will be the lack of fellow passengers.
10:23The service will be better, and the food, drinks, and entertainment
10:26is good or better than any you've ever known on shipboard before.
10:30Here, here.
10:32Would you propose our first toast, captain?
10:34Yes, to our esteemed and heroic passengers.
10:38I'll drink to that.
10:41May I propose a toast, captain?
10:43Of course, Mr. Abradoge.
10:46To three beautiful women
10:48who, like angels by their presence,
10:51turned what might have been a desolate cruise
10:53into an adventure in paradise.
10:57Thank you.
11:01My guess is he's the murderer,
11:03and how else would he know that Charlie called us here?
11:07Well, it could have just been a coincidence.
11:09He was trying to come on to all three of us.
11:11He needed a collective noun.
11:13No way.
11:15Or is angels a pronoun?
11:17Any time I'm stuck, I call everything an adverbial phrase.
11:21Yep, it's an adverbial phrase.
11:24Look, first, angels is a noun,
11:27and second, unless all the circumstances
11:30were caused by different hired killers,
11:32there is no way that Armandine
11:34can be a suspect.
11:36I don't know if it's the Adonis description
11:38Harry Dana the clairvoyant gave of the murderer.
11:41You know, there could be several killers
11:43rather than just one Bosley.
11:45That would make everybody who worked or sailed
11:47on any of the cruises a suspect
11:49rather than just the four who sailed on all of them,
11:52which means we have to watch everybody.
11:58Oh, I love working in a full house.
12:01I love working in a full house.
12:03Thank you.
12:04Oh, you people are terrific.
12:06Well, as some of you people may know,
12:08I have powers that enable me to read minds,
12:11to see into the future,
12:13to see things that have happened in the past
12:15that I didn't even know about.
12:17My name is Count Dracula.
12:21Wait a minute, I'm getting a name.
12:23Uh, uh, Sally Hooper.
12:25That mean anything to anybody here?
12:27Sally Hooper.
12:28Hey, that's our youngest daughter.
12:31Congratulations.
12:32Her husband is in the automobile business.
12:35Right.
12:36Well, mostly trucks.
12:37Do you people know she's expecting a baby?
12:39No.
12:40That's right.
12:41She's about three months along now.
12:43It's going to be a boy.
12:44Be the first boy in the family
12:46since my brother, if you're right.
12:48Oh, I am.
12:50And he's going to have brown eyes just like his poppy.
12:54Isn't that a mind blower?
12:56Oh, it sure is nice of you to feel that way there.
12:59Pilgrim.
13:00And what about the rest of you, pilgrims?
13:03What else is going on out there?
13:05Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:08Hey!
13:10Wait a minute.
13:11Somebody is thinking about me.
13:14They're wondering if a description I gave
13:18of a certain person is Mr. Armitage.
13:23Whoever you are, I can't say yes, can't say no.
13:26It might be.
13:28And whoever you are, say hello to Charlie.
13:34And now, ladies and gentlemen,
13:36it's my great pleasure to...
13:38No, Jill, it's not there, Jill.
13:40You're looking for your lipstick.
13:42It's not in your purse.
13:43It's in somebody's pocket.
13:45It's in Bosley's pocket.
13:47Would you check that, please?
13:51Hey!
13:52Uh-huh.
13:53Thank you.
13:54I'd forgotten I'd given it to you.
13:57Thanks.
13:59It's our policy to entertain everybody.
14:02Now that you've all been amazed,
14:04it's time for you to be enchanted.
14:06And here to enchant you and charm you
14:09is the lovely, vivacious Miss Jerrian Mayer.
14:13That's you.
14:26You are the sunshine of my life
14:32That's why I'll always be around
14:39You are the apple of my eye
14:45Forever you'll stay in my heart
14:52I feel like this is the beginning
14:59Though I've loved you for a million years
15:13We've got the fire under control, Captain.
15:17It's a dummy.
15:19Thank God.
15:21Whose cabin is this, Todd?
15:23It's Sabrina Duncan's, sir.
15:25Smells like a chemical fire.
15:33I didn't want to lose anything except that new bikini.
15:35It's the first one I ever had.
15:37Didn't feel like it was going to fall off at the wrong time.
15:39Oh, Bree, did you lock your door when you left?
15:41Oh, sure I did.
15:42The killer must have keys by now.
15:45The killer must have keys to all our rooms.
15:47Yeah, probably a master key.
15:49Was your revolver in your cabin?
15:51No, I had it with me.
15:53We should keep our guns with us
15:55now that the killer has started to play his game.
15:57Listen, I've been thinking.
15:58If the killer's going to start setting fires,
16:00we're really playing into his hands
16:02by having our rooms in a cluster.
16:03I mean, we're all in one place.
16:05He could take one easy move, check on all of us,
16:07then go up to another deck or even another passage
16:10and start a fire, be long gone
16:12before we ever find out about it and get there.
16:15Yeah.
16:17We have our own set of master keys.
16:19We could spread out all over the ship.
16:21That way he wouldn't know where we were.
16:22It might slow him down.
16:23I don't know if it's a good thing to slow him down.
16:25I mean, you can't see a snake when it's not moving.
16:28But we ought to cover as much of the ship as we can.
16:31I'll stay on the top deck.
16:33I'll take third class.
16:34I'll take second.
16:35Guess I'm stuck with first class.
16:38Poor baby.
16:40Listen, drop me a line when you can.
16:42Will you please? I live for your letters.
16:46Man overboard!
16:48Man overboard!
16:51Man overboard!
17:09Man overboard!
17:30Engines all shut.
17:33All engines stop.
17:39Man overboard!
17:45Man overboard!
17:55Is it Parsley?
17:58Look out!
18:04It's a dummy!
18:09It's a dummy!
18:39It's a dummy!
18:47What's going on?
18:58He's very close.
19:01Parsley.
19:06Don't laugh at him.
19:10Now look, I have been thumped on the head.
19:13I have been stripped to the buff.
19:15I have been embarrassed beyond words.
19:18Do I have to sit here and wait for you three to decide that the time is right
19:22to make your jokes and laugh?
19:24We're not going to laugh at you, Bosby.
19:27And we're not going to make jokes either.
19:29Jerrian did want to know if you were married, though.
19:32Oh, come on.
19:34I'm sorry, Bosby. I couldn't resist.
19:37Well, let's get down to business.
19:39You're right, Bos. Okay.
19:41Okay, let's talk about Jerrian.
19:43Now, she could have taken something and hit you over the head.
19:46But the question is, is she strong enough to have dragged you up onto the deck
19:51and could she have done what was done to you?
19:58Oh, look.
20:00Wait a minute. I was not criminally assaulted, you know.
20:03Somebody just stole my pajamas. Nothing else.
20:05We are forgetting something very important.
20:07What?
20:08The man overboard warning that was sounded just before Bosley got hit on the head.
20:13Now, suppose this whole thing was just a set-up to take our attention away.
20:18Yeah, think about it.
20:20Who checked to see if anybody else was missing?
20:23Nobody.
20:24It's an elaborate scheme, but it could be.
20:27Look, I'm going to have the captain check the passengers and crew.
20:35The line's dead.
20:37Well, maybe that's because of the fire in Bree's cabin.
20:40Yeah, or another stunt perpetrated by the murderer.
20:43Well, whatever it is, the captain's going to have to make sure nobody's missing.
20:47I'll go see him now.
20:49Okay, I'm going to check out the dead telephone.
20:51That is, unless you need me to hold your hand, Bosley.
20:54I don't need that.
20:56Take care of the baby.
20:57Don't make him all uncomfortable.
20:59Go on. Oh, boy.
21:05Oh, boy.
21:07Oh, boy.
21:09Oh, boy.
21:34Here stands Fred Cooper, former chief engineer.
21:38All right, now you have one less suspect.
21:41You're welcome.
22:08Oh, my God.
22:38Oh, my God.
23:08Oh, my God.
23:10Oh, my God.
23:36Due to the present circumstances,
23:38I would like to turn the responsibility for your safety over to Mr. Bosley,
23:42who, for your information,
23:44is a private investigator hired by the owner of the ship.
23:47Mr. Bosley.
23:49Thank you, captain.
23:51As you all know by now,
23:53two lives have been taken during this voyage,
23:56the chief engineer
23:58and one of my associates, Kelly Garris.
24:01Up to this time,
24:03there was no clue to the killer's identity.
24:06But now we have the means
24:09of positively identifying the murderer.
24:12When the steam valve was turned on,
24:15two clear fingerprints were left on the metal.
24:18Now, we don't have the equipment to remove those prints,
24:21but we can easily compare them to the samples
24:23and that way identify the killer.
24:26Now, with the captain's permission,
24:28we have called you all here together
24:30to ask for samples of your fingerprints.
24:33Now, we cannot compel you to give them to us,
24:36but because the danger is so clear,
24:39we will be forced to lock anyone
24:42who refuses in their cabin
24:44until we reach port,
24:46which, at that time, the police
24:48will take those fingerprints
24:50and make the comparisons.
24:52When you have given us your fingerprints,
24:55please go to your cabins and remain there until you are notified.
24:58Do not, for any reason,
25:00go into the passage where the steam valve is located.
25:03All right, we'll try to do this as quickly as we can.
25:26Well, that's the last of them.
25:29Now we see what happens.
25:35Jill, someone's coming.
25:37It worked.
25:58It worked.
26:29Hold it!
26:33Hold it!
26:35Okay, okay.
26:37Okay, okay.
26:42Kelly. Kelly, you all right?
26:45Come on. Come on. Let's go.
26:47Yeah, yeah.
26:49Okay, get up.
26:55Okay.
26:57Okay. Jill, come with me.
27:05Water, water, water, water everywhere,
27:09but not a drop to drink.
27:11Watch your step, ladies.
27:13This boat is about to sink.
27:17That's not a bad Rex Harrison, huh?
27:23Well, you got me.
27:25But that's not gonna keep this boat from blowing up.
27:34Hey, Kirk, do you know why they're asking me all these questions, Kirk?
27:38No, Burt, what are they asking you all the questions for?
27:41Because, Kirk, they want me to tell them about the bombs I got planted out of this boat.
27:47Ah, but I swear to you,
27:49I swear to you I'm not gonna tell them about the bombs, Kirk.
27:53Harry, you know, if the ship blows, you go with it.
27:57Ah, did you hear that, Kirk?
27:59If this ship blows up, we go with it.
28:01And we better check out of our rooms tonight.
28:04Oh, no, not me. Why not? My rent's paid until tomorrow.
28:10I've been dead, lady, for two years already.
28:14You don't look dead, Harry. You don't sound dead, either.
28:18Well, if I don't look dead and I don't sound dead,
28:21I must be the living dead.
28:24Won't you come with me? I promise to make you well again.
28:28Eagle.
28:31Doesn't it bother you, killing all these innocent people?
28:34Innocent? Innocent? What are you talking about, innocent?
28:36There's no such thing as innocents.
28:38No innocent people today, not anymore.
28:40You understand what I'm telling you? Turn four.
28:43And you won't tell us why you're doing it.
28:46Why? Why? How can you ask why? You're a soldier.
28:49This is war. I'm your general.
28:51There's no time for why.
28:53What's done is done.
28:55And once we've all perished in that moment of flame,
28:58we have not time to ask ourselves why.
29:02It's gone, finished.
29:05Ended like the morning mist
29:08in the searing and angry sun.
29:15That must be my wake-up call.
29:18I'll be right there.
29:20That's funny.
29:22Shouldn't you tell us when this explosion is gonna be?
29:25That way we can sweat and worry about it
29:28and suffer a little more for you.
29:32Snoring
29:37I'm not a sadist.
29:40I'm not...
29:42Granted, I had you people sweating a little,
29:45but that's to keep you running around in circles long enough for me to...
29:50You almost got me to say something, didn't you?
29:57I'll tell you what.
30:00You're the detectives,
30:02and you really should have some kind of clue to work with.
30:06We'd appreciate any little thing, Harry.
30:09Hmm.
30:11Well, well, well, well, now.
30:14Pray tell, what's a big, beautiful, blue-eyed blonde like you
30:18doing on a big, beautiful boat like this?
30:21Got to look out now.
30:23Big, beautiful boat's got three big, beautiful bombs on it.
30:26Gonna go boom, boom, boom.
30:28Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
30:53Okay, if these bombs are so intricate
30:56that just by somebody touching them it's gonna set them off,
30:59why don't you tell us where they are?
31:01Because.
31:03Because.
31:06Because Ma's dead.
31:08Huh?
31:10Ma's dead.
31:12And besides, somebody has to answer the door.
31:16Huh?
31:18You don't believe me.
31:20You don't believe that I know things, do you?
31:23You found one of my bombs, right, Captain?
31:25Yes, I did, Harry.
31:27Yeah, you found the one that's in the forward hole, is that right?
31:29That's right.
31:31All right, let's hurry here for the terrific morning you're here.
31:34It's a great display of talent.
31:36All right, come on.
31:39Okay, Harry, how did you know that he found the bomb,
31:42and how did you know where it was?
31:44Because I have the power to read minds.
31:46I can see things that happen in the future.
31:54And so saying, he sat back, and they were all amazed.
31:59He sat back and watched the dumb looks on all their faces,
32:03and he was amused, babe.
32:06Are you really insane, or do you just want us to think you are?
32:13Let me put it this way, Nurse Ratched.
32:17If you ask me, you're the one that's a little bit crazy.
32:21That's right, you're the one that's lost touch with reality,
32:25the one that can't function on a societal level.
32:28In fact, I had a discussion about that very thing last night
32:32with my bunkmate, Napoleon.
32:35That's right, what you see here isn't insanity,
32:39it's just an occasional outburst of anger, that's all.
32:43What makes you so angry?
32:47What makes you so angry?
32:50What makes me angry?
32:57It's 4.30. What time did you go?
33:00It's 4.30.
33:02Terrific.
33:04All right, I'm ready.
33:07Suppose you tell me why, and I'll tell you anything now
33:12that I wouldn't tell you a few minutes ago.
33:17At exactly 4.28, we passed the point of no return,
33:21the halfway point, miles from nowhere,
33:24if the Coast Guard was to send jet planes out to us,
33:28they'd never get here in time.
33:32Where are the other bombs, Harry? How many are there?
33:38First, I'm going to tell you about something
33:41you don't really care to know about, but I care,
33:44so I'm going to tell it anyway.
33:48Tell us, Harry.
33:52Once upon a time...
33:57I was in an automobile accident, and that was the...
34:03..greatest thing that ever happened to me.
34:08Me, Harry Dana, a comic,
34:11because when I woke up in the hospital,
34:16whether you believe this or not,
34:19I suddenly had the power to read minds.
34:23I could see into the future.
34:25I could see things that happened in the past
34:28that I didn't even know about.
34:32I went to a certain Mr John Strauss, my employer,
34:36the owner of this shipping line,
34:41and I told him about it, and he laughed,
34:45and I told him I wasn't joking.
34:49I asked him to set up a foundation
34:52so I could get monies to develop this talent.
35:00And he said that he didn't have the money.
35:06He said that he was willing
35:09to let me out of my contract any time I wanted.
35:15A hypocrite.
35:19I didn't realize what he's done to me.
35:24Well, it didn't seem that important.
35:26And it was a time when I...
35:30saw some people at banks and foundations
35:34and they all refused to help me out.
35:38They refused to help me with this work.
35:42And then it started to dawn on me one after another.
35:46No, no, no, it had to be because of Strauss.
35:49They were friends of his,
35:51and he didn't want them to help me.
35:54He wanted to keep me,
35:56sure pop comedian Harry Dana, on his boat.
35:59He wasn't about to let me alone.
36:01He killed me then, and he left part of me alive to...
36:05to know it.
36:15Now I'm doing the...
36:19same thing to him.
36:23Where are the bombs, Harry?
36:25Well, my little chickadee,
36:27the first bomb is in the forward hold
36:30where the good captain found it, yes.
36:34Where are the other bombs?
36:36The second bomb, Judy, you'll find the midships
36:39in the small fan room, that's right.
36:42And the third bomb...
36:43Don't tell them, caddy, where the third bomb is.
36:46What's the difference?
36:47It's too late for them to do anything about it anyway.
36:52The third bomb is in the antipasto.
36:57It's not really the antipasto,
37:00but I do so enjoy saying...
37:04antipasto.
37:10The third and final bomb, my children,
37:14is hidden inside the big black bird,
37:18the Maltese fork in my...
37:21my prize possession.
37:25And as you've probably suspected,
37:28the bird is hidden in the back boiler room
37:31against the boiler.
37:33Run, my children.
37:38Man the lifeboats.
37:41This boat is gonna blow to smithereens
37:46and forever be my bird.
37:55Set a guard outside of Mr. Balsey's cabin.
37:59Then assemble all the passengers and crew on deck
38:01and have them stand by the lifeboats, Mr. Levin.
38:03The bombs are due to explode in the next half hour.
38:06Captain, there are no lifeboats.
38:08The bungs have been pulled
38:09and the rubber rafts have been slashed.
38:11You keep that to yourself.
38:13I'm going to have a look.
38:15I'm going to have a look.
38:16I'm going to have a look.
38:18I'm going to have a look.
38:20I'm going to have a look.
38:22I'm going to have a look.
38:23You keep that to yourself.
38:25Make sure that everyone has a life jacket
38:27in the event that we have to go over the side.
38:53I'm going to have a look.
39:23I'm going to have a look.
39:54Well, we've located the three bombs
39:56and the angels are babysitting.
39:58Good.
39:59I've got a relay set up with Marsh and the bomb squad.
40:02We can talk to you.
40:03You relay to the angels.
40:05Are you sure there's no one on board
40:06with bomb disposal experience, Bosley?
40:09Captain says no.
40:11The basic work the angels did in the police academy
40:13makes them the closest thing to bomb experts
40:15that we have on board.
40:17I hate to butt in,
40:18but we're wasting one hell of a lot of time,
40:20particularly since we don't know how much we've got.
40:23Has the ship stopped?
40:25Already done.
40:27Okay.
40:28Ask them to describe the bomb, Bosley.
40:31Hello, angels.
40:33Marsh needs a description of the bomb.
40:36The timing mechanism is blind.
40:39It's in a small metal box
40:40with four screws holding the lid down.
40:43There's a yellow light and a red light.
40:45The yellow light's on.
40:47There are seven protruding wires,
40:49color-keyed, red, green, yellow,
40:52green and white stripe, black,
40:54blue and white stripe, and white.
41:00Timing mechanism sits on top of a bundle of dynamite.
41:03It's fastened down with electrician's tape,
41:06and it sits on a leveling base that looks like modeling clay.
41:12Your nut knows what he's doing.
41:14All right.
41:15Somebody tell me how the wires go to the dynamite.
41:19Do they pass through the modeling clay?
41:22No, they go around it, and they disappear underneath.
41:26All the wires or just some?
41:28All of them.
41:30The odds are some of them are decoys.
41:33All right, now, put your hand gently on the metal box
41:37over the timing mechanism.
41:39Now, only one of you do that.
41:41Okay, I will.
41:44All right, easy.
41:46Now, just barely touch it.
41:48Then tell me about it.
41:50Is it warm?
41:58A little warm, and there's a slight vibration.
42:01Is the vibration metric, uh, like a clock?
42:05No. It's steady, but it doesn't feel like a clock.
42:09The sensation is, uh, is more like...
42:13What? Uh...
42:15Like a tuning fork looks, you know what I mean?
42:18Close enough. All right.
42:20Now, take your hand off the bomb, Sabrina.
42:24Jill, one at a time, touch the wires,
42:29but don't make any contact with the metal box.
42:34Then tell me about it.
42:36Okay.
42:40The red wire, cool, there's no vibration.
42:46The green and white striped wire, no vibration, but it's warm.
42:54The black wire, cool, no vibration.
42:58The white wire, slight vibration, warm, slightly warm.
43:05The green wire, no vibration, cool, no...
43:10No, wait. It's warm.
43:15The blue and white striped, slight...
43:18Yes, there's a slight vibration, cool, no, heat.
43:25The yellow, cool, no vibration.
43:31I'll lay you a 50 to one. The guy who built this bomb is colorblind.
43:35According to his personnel file, he is.
43:38How did you know that?
43:40He keyed on the white wire.
43:42Now, who hasn't been to guinea pig yet? You, Kelly?
43:45My turn.
43:47You get to lift the timing box. Lift it slow and easy.
43:52The instant you feel any kind of tension, stop.
43:56Then tell me how high above the cradle the box is. Got it?
44:03Got it.
44:16An inch. Maybe a little less. We'll call it an inch.
44:20Ease it back down. Then tell me when it's back in place.
44:31It's down.
44:33All right, now there are four moves.
44:35The first three are no problem because it doesn't make any difference whether I'm right or wrong.
44:40The last one, if I'm right, it's dangerous.
44:44If I'm wrong, it's a disaster.
44:51First snip the blue and white wire.
44:54But make sure the tool you are using isn't touching anything else.
45:00Then clear it in both directions.
45:20Done.
45:25Done.
45:29Done.
45:31Now do the same thing to the red wire and then the yellow wire.
45:38In that order, same precautions.
45:50Done.
46:11The red light just went off.
46:13No problem.
46:16Done.
46:20Done.
46:22Done.
46:24All right, now comes the juicy one.
46:27If you've got what I think you've got, there are only two possibilities.
46:32When you snip the white wire, the thing goes boom.
46:36If it doesn't go boom, you've got somewhere between ten seconds and one minute to get rid of the thing.
46:42What I'm saying is, no matter what, that thing is going to blow.
46:47So before you snip the white wire, get hold of the whole works.
46:52And make damn sure you have a path clear to the rail.
46:57Are we clear to the rail, Bosley?
47:00Captain, the passengers and the crew are midship on the starboard side.
47:04There's nothing in your way to the port side.
47:08Hey, uh...
47:11Look, um...
47:14Let's all do it at the same time.
47:18That way if we go, you know, we'll all go together.
47:25I'm ready.
47:27I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
47:30Should we go on three?
47:33Three.
47:38One.
47:40Two.
47:42Three.
48:03Three.
48:34Charlie, we'd like to take the plane back.
48:37But if we take Harry ashore, we'll have the legal hassle of deportation to deal with.
48:42And that won't really do what we were hired by Mr. Strauss to do.
48:47But more important, Charlie, if we don't come back by boat, we may not come back at all.
48:53All right, angels, you can stay.
48:56But I must warn you, an ocean voyage can get very boring unless you have some sort of activity.
49:01Oh, don't you worry about that, Charlie.
49:04We have an activity planned.
49:06In fact, it's one of the best loved by man.
49:09I'm not following you, angels.
49:11Think about it, Charlie. Just think about it.
49:14Bye, Charlie.
49:16Thank you.
49:21We'll be gentle.
49:31© BF-WATCH TV 2021
50:01© BF-WATCH TV 2021