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00:00Truth be told, fellow students, the naysayers can deride Reaganomics with their reptilian tongues till they're blue in the face,
00:06but the indisputable facts that I have just laid out create a bulwark that cannot be put asunder.
00:11You're full of nothing but bulwark, Andrews! Put this asunder!
00:14In conclusion, give me Reagan's trickle-down economics any day over Carter's fickle-dumb economics, thank you.
00:21Excellent job, Gary. Compared to you, the other students are short-bust buffoons.
00:27Of course they are, Mrs. Weisblatt. And to be frank, you're not far removed from them.
00:30Oh, Gary!
00:37What's happening to me?
00:38Oh my! A rat-tail? That won't do at all! You know the school's policy on rat-tailed students.
00:45I'll have to give you an F, rat-boy, and a three-day suspension.
00:49No! I'm not a rat-boy! I'm not a rat-boy! I'm not a rat-boy! I'm not a...
00:57Reaganomics? Where the hell did that come from?
01:04Gary Andrews est un accompli propriétaire de Wall Street. Il possède de l'argent, de la prestige et de la puissance.
01:12Mais en gagnant la course aux rats, Gary est allé trop loin.
01:22Non!
01:24Gary the rat.
01:26Merde.
01:40Vraiment, Mère, je me souviens pas que Sally Struthers s'est passée dans ton sac la nuit dernière.
01:46C'est bon, Mère, je vais vérifier. Mais je suis certain qu'elle n'est pas l'assistante d'un médecin.
01:52Quoi? Maman, je ne peux pas t'entendre avec tout ce cri dans le fond.
01:56Maman, tu rigoles maintenant.
01:58Maman!
01:59Oh, bien.
02:01Adonis? Party of one.
02:04Bill, Bill, Bill.
02:06Cheese of the month club. Modern cheese.
02:09Bean cheese, people.
02:11And what's this?
02:13Barrington Prep, my old high school.
02:16Ah, that name harkens me back to a simpler time, a time before my youth.
02:20And human form. It was stolen from me like skinny was pilfered from Anna Nicole Smith.
02:24Oh, my heart aches at the fond memories of good times.
02:27Pretty girls and hazing rituals performed on the physically underdeveloped.
02:31J.P. Wordley, an associate, cordially invites you to attend the 23rd reunion of Barrington Prep's class of 83.
02:38J.P. Wordley, I don't know, good for nothing son of a bitch that stole the class presidency from me dares to invite me to my high school reunion?
02:45Never! Never!
02:48Who is it?
02:49Cheese delivery, dude.
02:51What's the good word, giant dog?
02:53Inbreeding.
02:54Did you bring my Corsican Fleur de Marquis?
02:56Uh-uh.
02:57You should know, you little beef-headed custard, in order for a cheese delivery to be deemed successful, you actually have to deliver me some cheese.
03:03Um, I accidentally got molested on the way here.
03:06You mean mugged?
03:07No, molested.
03:09Uh-huh. And how does one accidentally get molested?
03:12You'd be surprised. Anyway, you want me to walk you?
03:18How many times do I have to say it?
03:21I won't discuss the matter any further until you come back to me with a better deal.
03:25You'd better not dare waste my time! Goodbye!
03:28Holy Himalayan Andrews, no wonder we've been losing clients over this sperm.
03:32You can't talk to the morons that pay our bills like that.
03:35Only I can. I'm the boss, you know!
03:37Oh no, Mr. Harrison, I wasn't talking to a client, I was just speaking to my cheese brokers.
03:41Cheese brokers?
03:42Well, you see, sir, I'm trying to buy my cheese in bulk.
03:45The import company that I'm dealing with is trying to pass off several crates of inferior Argentinian and Egyptian on me.
03:49Shut your Roquefort hole, Andrews!
03:52I don't pay you to sit on those jumbo rat claws of yours and chit-chat with cheese brokers all day.
03:58I pay you to be a slimy rat bastard lawyer who's supposed to be keeping clients and monies coming into this firm and you're not doing either!
04:06I beg your pardon, Mr. Harrison, but I've grossed more money for this firm in one year than in the last three years combined.
04:12God watch that tone of yours with me, Andrews. I'm old, but I'm feisty.
04:16I'll shove that sickening rat head of yours into a filing cabinet and slam it shut until blood shoots from your giant ears.
04:24J.P. Wordly presents a... reunion?
04:27Andrews, what the hell is this?
04:29Nothing, sir. Just some junk mail.
04:31Junk mail, my ass! You mean to tell me that you're a former classmate of J.P. Wordly?
04:35Yes, Mr. Harrison. In high school.
04:37Well, he's the slack-jawed little maggot from Wordly, Wordly, and Wordly that's been stealing a lot of clients from this firm.
04:43Been promising them professional-style service. Whatever the hell that means!
04:47Listen to me, Andrews. You're going to that reunion and you're going to make that low-life scum-sucker Wordly hand back our client roster.
04:54Mr. Harrison, I'm not going to that reunion. I despised everyone I ever went to school with.
04:59Oh, you're going, Andrews. And if you can't reason with that little Wordly oddity, then threaten his life! Or kill him! That always works for me!
05:06Mr. Harrison, for the last time, I'm not going to go to that reu...
05:08You're fired, Andrews. Get out of the building.
05:10Reunion it is. Maybe I'll even wear a tux.
05:18Who is it?
05:19Rattler!
05:22Hello, Mr. Boggs. I hope you're here to tell me that you've finally eliminated my pesky rodent problem.
05:27Oh, yeah. I'm going to need another thousand to bury that sideshow scumbag.
05:32I refuse to give you one more dime for a job I've already paid you to do ten times over.
05:36Oh, no? Well, how's about I show those pictures your wife gave me with you in that lime-green teddy outfit to every tabloid in this city?
05:45You've seen those pictures?
05:46I have those pictures.
05:48Give me those pictures right now!
05:51Give me my money!
05:56Boots? Boots? Boots!
06:01Doctor, thank you for seeing me on such short notice.
06:03Of course, Mr. Andrews. I'm always available to help my patients when they are in times of crisis at an exorbitantly inflated fee.
06:10So, what seems to be the problem?
06:12Well, I'm being forced to attend my high school reunion, and I absolutely do not want to attend.
06:17Now, when you say forced, do you mean pushed or prodded against your will?
06:20Of course. What the hell else does it mean?
06:22Come, come, Mr. Andrews. Your inability to deal with your fear that you'll be mocked and ridiculed at your high school reunion is no reason to spew your venomous retorts towards me.
06:30I'm not afraid to attend my reunion because I think people will mock me.
06:34I'm not afraid to attend my reunion because I think people will mock me.
06:38I am hesitant to attend because Barrington Prep represents the last vestige of the only failure I've had in my life.
06:45Are you asking me to believe that you've only failed once in your life?
06:48You really are sharp as a tack, you know.
06:50Yes, my only life's failure came to me when I lost the student body presidency to J.P. Wordley III, the host of this awful reunion and the man who cheated me from the office I deserved.
06:59And how did this Mr. Wordley cheat you out of the election?
07:03He bribed the entire senior class with stock options in his father's company.
07:06And this made you mad, dare I say?
07:08Crazy! Crazy! You're dying tootin'! Especially after I had spent all that money on personalized gold leaf stationery for each member of the senior class.
07:16I see. So, you're not upset about losing the election. You're still angry that someone was able to cheat better than you.
07:23Bingo, Doc! And he's doing it again, this time with clients from my law firm!
07:28Well, Mr. Andrews, the solution seems clear.
07:30Go to the reunion. Beat him in his own game and relish in the thought that the one black mark on my record has been erased forever?
07:34I was going to tell you to kill him.
07:36Are you sure you're a doctor?
07:37The Internet University of Science stuff seems to think so.
07:41I'm outta here.
07:42Please pay the girl outside in small bills.
07:44Boots! Boots! Come on, please let him go! I gave you your pictures back!
07:52As soon as you kill the rat, I will release your precious boots.
07:56Let him go now!
07:57No.
07:58Please!
07:59Non.
08:00Please!
08:01No.
08:02Fine! I'm gonna go kill the rat bastard, then I'll get my Bootsy buddy back. Bootsy! I'm coming back for you!
08:14I can still hear you breathing.
08:16Please!
08:18No.
08:23No.
08:30Tonight, I will have vengeance upon you, Mr. Julius Pimpernell Wordley III.
08:35The whole world, or at least Barrington Prep's class of 83, will realize that you cheated them out of the one man who could have led them all to the promised land, the Upper East Side.
08:45Tonight, my friend, Gary Andrews comes prepared.
08:53Who is it?
08:54Limo delivery, dude.
08:57Oh, oh. They said you were big, but I had no idea.
09:01My God. It can't be. Please, don't tell me that your name is Bud, Bud with an L, Bud with two Ds, or any derivative thereof.
09:09Nope.
09:10Thank God.
09:11Name's Buddy. So, you ready to go? When they told me I'd be driving a giant dog, I stopped and I got you some biscuits and put some Evian and a couple of water bowls.
09:20How thoughtful.
09:21I also lined the seats with newspaper in case you have to do the number one. Now, if you need to do the number two, let me know. I'll pull over next to some grass.
09:30Lord, take me now.
09:34Check! Why, you clever little kitty. See if you've got an answer for this.
09:41Meow, mate.
09:43You've certainly studied your panobotvinic attack. Very impressive.
09:48Shall we play again, or perhaps a game of cribbage?
09:51Meow. I'm sorry, but I don't have Candyland.
09:55Meow. Cribbage it is.
10:00Are you sure you know where you're going? We should have been there an hour ago.
10:04Hey, I'm doing the best I can, okay?
10:07I spilled my beer in my direction, so I'm kind of winging it.
10:11You're drinking? I want you to pull this car over right now!
10:19Oh, this is great!
10:29Now, here's how it's going to go down, Boots. Who isn't here?
10:33I'm going to play some tunes and then announce the king and queen of the party like nothing's going on.
10:39I make sure that the rat bastard wins, and when he comes up to put on his crown, zap!
10:4610,000 volts of Kentucky Fried Ronin!
10:55Sorry. I missed my kitty.
10:59Oh, hey, dog, shut the door before it creeps back up.
11:02Just be thankful it's not number two.
11:05Why, Gary Andrews! Look at you! You haven't changed a bit!
11:13Hello, Mrs. Weissblatt. I can't believe you're not dead.
11:15Me neither. I had a little battle with the colon for a while, but I've managed to live.
11:21Hello, Mrs. Weissblatt. I can't believe you're not dead.
11:23Me neither. I had a little battle with the colon for a while, but I've managed to live.
11:28Hello, Mrs. Weissblatt. I can't believe you're not dead.
11:29Hello, Mrs. Weissblatt. I can't believe you're not dead.
11:30Hello, Mrs. Weissblatt. I can't believe you're not dead.
11:31Hey, you little bastards! You need name tags!
11:41Oh, he thinks he can steal this election as well.
11:44It's time to show that puke-ish wordly just who the king rat really is around here.
11:51It's time to show that puke-ish wordly just who the king rat really is around here.
12:21I suppose you wouldn't remember a fellow by the name of Wordly.
12:23Nope.
12:24So, what do you do for a living, Jerry?
12:28It's Gary, and I'm a lawyer.
12:30I used to have a law practice.
12:32What happened?
12:33I killed a kid.
12:35Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go throw up in the pool.
12:39Knock yourself out.
12:43Excuse me, do you hear that song?
12:45Ladies best are made for walking?
12:47Boots!
12:52Well, I always knew you were a rat bastard, Andrews, but I think you may have taken it a bit too far.
12:58J.P. Wordly. I'd love to say it's nice to see you, but I can't.
13:01You remember my wife, Amanda? She's the one that dumped you to marry me?
13:05Yes, I do remember Amanda. I remember taking her virginity under the bleachers during the Crestview game.
13:09How are you?
13:10I wish I were dead. He treats me like a possession and I have no life for myself.
13:14That's wonderful to hear. Punch?
13:17If you boys will excuse me, I have to go into the bathroom and cut myself to see if I can still feel.
13:22All right, baby, I'll catch you later.
13:25Hmm, a little hint of cheddar.
13:27So, Andrews, how have you been?
13:30Oh, I can't complain.
13:31That's not what I hear.
13:33I hear your firm is going to hell in a handbasket, losing all your clients to a superior firm, mine.
13:37And you have recurring nightmares about losing an election that took place nearly 20 years ago.
13:41You'll starve.
13:43You have recurring nightmares about losing an election that took place nearly 20 years ago.
13:46You stole that election from me, you repugnant, repulsive cretin.
13:49You're right. I did steal it from you and it felt great.
13:53Then I stole your girlfriend and it felt even better.
13:56Now I'm stealing your client roster and it feels unbelievably wonderful.
14:00But you want to know what the most satisfying thing of all is, Andrews?
14:04That you're finally able to cosmetically hide your herpes in public.
14:07Close.
14:08The most satisfying thing of all is that you turned into exactly what you always were.
14:12A no-good-for-nothing piece of rat excrement.
14:15Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to accept my crown as king of the reunion.
14:20Oh, you should call me sometime.
14:22I could toss you some work entertaining at my daughter's birthday party.
14:28Oh yeah?
14:29Well, you just drank my urine.
14:34All right, shut your pie holes and listen to me now.
14:37It's time to announce the king and queen of this here reunion.
14:42The winner of this here queen thing is...
14:45Amanda Wortley!
14:59Yeah, way to go, sister.
15:01And as king of this here Barrington Prep reunion party...
15:06The Giant Rat!
15:12No, no, no, this is all wrong.
15:15I'm the king of the party. Me, J.P. Wortley.
15:18I'm the only king here tonight.
15:20Paybacks are a bitch, eh, J.P.?
15:22You, you did this.
15:24Not only did I do this, but I also sent a letter to your entire client list
15:28telling them that all three members of Wortley, Wortley and Wortley
15:30are being brought up on charges of misuse of clients' funds
15:33and are facing criminal prosecution.
15:35That's not true.
15:36It doesn't have to be true, it just has to be read.
15:38Now if you'll excuse me, I have to receive my crown and impregnate my queen.
15:42This one's for Bootsy, you disgusting rat puke.
16:01Oh, did you see that?
16:03His head popped right off his frigate.
16:07I gotta go.
16:11This, this is no way for any man to die.
16:14A floating, bodiless head, swimming in a bath of urine and selected fruits from the forest.
16:19No one deserves treatment like this.
16:21It's perfect.
16:27Gary, I was wondering if I could get a ride with you.
16:30Now that J.P. is out of my life, I was hoping that you and I might get together.
16:35Oh, Amanda, that's a very flattering offer, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to refuse.
16:39You see, you've been so spoiled and defiled by that headless galoot back there
16:42that to see you socially, it would be a huge step backwards for a man like me.
16:46But you're a rat.
16:47And you're a mess, I hope you understand.
16:55My God, what is that horrid stench?
16:57Buddy, what the hell stinks so bad back here?
16:59Oh, sorry about that one, Mr. Dog.
17:02I had to use some of your newspaper for the number two.
17:06I tell you this right now, Boots, that is, if you were here,
17:10I'm gonna kill that sickin' piece of rat vermin if it's the last thing I do.
17:15No.
17:16I know, right?
17:19Boots!
17:20My precious Boots!
17:22My best Bootsy buddy!
17:25How'd you get out of that place?
17:28Nice, kitty.
17:30Nice, kitty.
17:34You taped him to the chair just like I taught you?
17:38No.
17:39And you lifted his wallet?
17:43I love you!
17:45I never want to lose you again.
17:51You wanted to see me, Mr. Harrison?
17:52Well, well, Andrews.
17:54So you took my little suggestion to heart and killed that slimy son of a bitch.
17:58It was actually an accident, sir.
18:00Wink, wink, Andrews. Wink, wink.
18:02Your secret's safe with me.
18:04Mr. Harrison, it really was an accident.
18:05Accident, murder.
18:06I guess it doesn't really matter what happened to that pathetic little dolt.
18:10All that matters is that our clients have come back to us.
18:13And I'm happy again.
18:14Yes, sir.
18:15But don't get cocky, Andrews. Don't get cocky.
18:17The minute you get cocky is the minute you'll feel that rat ass of yours explode.
18:22Because my size 7 shoe will be wedged right up there.
18:25I understand, sir.
18:26You better. Now let's go have lunch.
18:29Yes, Mr. Harrison.
18:30Betty, it's Harrison here.
18:31Yes, Mr. Harrison.
18:32Betty, Andrews and I are going to grab some lunch.
18:34Make us a reservation for two at the Great Greek.
18:37They use tzatziki sauce, you know.
18:39Yes, Mr. Harrison.
18:40Well, Andrews, I've been giving this a lot of thought.
18:43I think it's time to move you up to senior partner.
18:45Mr. Harrison, I... I don't know what to say.
18:48Say yes, you freakish-faced rat man.
18:51Yes, Mr. Harrison.
18:52Then it's settled. Congratulations.
18:54Mr. Harrison, I don't know how to thank you.
18:56Well, figure something out, for Christ's sakes.
18:58A gift usually works well in situations like this.
19:01Of course, Mr. Harrison.
19:02Now go wait for me at the elevator.
19:04I don't want people seeing us walking around the office together.
19:07They might think that I actually enjoy that wretched stench of yours.
19:10Sir, I don't...
19:11Beat it, Andrews.
19:13Look out, world. Senior partner coming through.
19:18Please, Mr. Bugs, I'm so sorry about what I did.
19:22Please, just pull me back in.
19:24What do you think, boots?
19:27Sleep with the concrete, you cat-nabbing bastard.
19:37Oh, my testicles.
19:47Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada