Dr. R.A. Vernon -- Why Did I Get Married
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00:00 Welcome in to Cleveland, Ohio to our virtual audience.
00:04 And speaking of our virtual audience, man, you have been participating so much so that
00:10 this came in the mail.
00:11 Not a lot of people get this from YouTube, the Word Church with Dr. Ari Vernon for passing
00:17 100,000 subscribers.
00:23 Oh, y'all can clap better than that.
00:24 Hey man, it's not a lot of people that own one of these and so YouTube sent this to us
00:33 and to the thousands watching all across the world.
00:36 Can we clap for our subscribers and for all of you?
00:41 And so do me a favor, let's share this today with somebody else so we can take our subscriber
00:49 to the next level.
00:50 Especially to my son Ray who made his priority to lift up our YouTube subscribers and the
00:55 media team, they did a great job, amen.
01:02 Some of those people that have passed 50 may not be as technologically savvy as some of
01:05 these young people.
01:07 So our church was killing the game but he said, "Dad, we gotta take it to another level
01:10 with technology."
01:11 And they have done that in every area.
01:14 Y'all see all these floating cameras walking around?
01:16 We used to have cords and all that.
01:18 They brought us to the 21st century right quick.
01:20 Y'all clap everybody, thank you to our media team.
01:25 And I tell all pastors, keep you some seasoned people around you but keep some of these young
01:30 people too, amen.
01:33 Because they just see some things differently.
01:34 I'm so blessed to be here, I wanna welcome in all of you.
01:38 Who needs a word today, amen?
01:41 If you are here today for the first time, my girl and I would love to hug you.
01:45 Don't think because it's a big church you can't meet me, everybody can meet me.
01:49 I ain't nobody to meet.
01:50 I want you to meet Jesus today, amen.
01:53 But after church, we go over to the convention center, there's coffee and tea and little
01:58 snacks and people just hang out, it's like a mall over there.
02:01 And my girl and I stand there until the last person hugs us.
02:06 And not a lot of churches can say that with so many people but that's just something we
02:10 committed to 20 years ago and we never stopped, amen.
02:13 And so, don't let people tell you the church is too big.
02:16 You can always hug me, tell me anything you want with a little respect, amen.
02:20 Praise God, amen.
02:21 But I'm, but I wanna hear your heart.
02:23 Let's do this.
02:24 Here's my subject and you can sit down.
02:26 Why did I get married?
02:29 Why did I get married?
02:32 That's a question that persons who are married should raise, and persons who are maybe divorced
02:40 should consider, "What's this?" and those who are single, "Why do I wanna get married?"
02:46 And let's at least be honest about that, let's talk about that.
02:49 So we're in this teaching titled "Real Love."
02:51 It's been crazy, the social media numbers have been off the chain.
02:54 I'll post something and 50, 60,000 people are sharing it and liking it all across the
03:00 world going viral with some of the things we've been talking about regarding being single,
03:04 being married.
03:05 Why did I get married?
03:07 I need every person to hear me and pay close attention.
03:10 If you are married, sit up in your seat and take a lot of notes and put your phone on
03:14 vibrate and go to your notes page and those who are single, write me a check and say,
03:19 "Thank you."
03:20 I mean, y'all should be so in seat like, "Thank you," because this is gonna save you so much
03:27 drama and dare I say trauma from picking the wrong person.
03:32 So last week, I wanna recap right quick.
03:33 I promise I won't be a long time.
03:35 A lot of people who weren't here, a lot of people watching for the first time, we talked
03:38 about first and foremost, write it down, remember it, the participants of marriage.
03:43 Forget me, what does the Bible say?
03:45 The Bible says, "For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined
03:51 to his wife," singular, not wives, plural, his wife.
03:56 One man, one woman.
03:58 We do not believe in the multiplicity, the multiplicity of partners.
04:02 Some people do.
04:03 Go ahead and hang with them.
04:04 No, the scripture is clear.
04:06 One man, I know we see polygamy in the Old Testament.
04:09 It was never what God wanted.
04:11 It was never.
04:12 It was because of the fall of man, his fallen nature.
04:15 Some brothers had multiple wives.
04:17 By the way, how come sisters never had multiple husbands?
04:20 Yeah, 'cause the brother ain't trying to see that.
04:23 It was more for some of their sexual satisfaction, for variety, all the things sometimes men
04:29 want because of our fallen nature to try to justify multiple wives.
04:34 It was never the will of God.
04:36 One man, one woman.
04:38 That's all I'm gonna teach.
04:39 That's all I'm gonna teach until I die.
04:40 They can change the law, they can put pastors in jail, they can do whatever they want, they
04:45 can revoke the non — come on, tax exemption, whatever they wanna do.
04:50 At the Word Church, no matter how much culture changes, you can count on this place being
04:55 steady.
04:56 Yeah, it will always be.
04:58 Look at me.
04:59 See, people get confused because we wear some tennis shoes and we fly.
05:01 No, no, we're counter-cultural.
05:03 We believe in holiness.
05:05 We believe in the Bible.
05:06 People get it twisted 'cause my wife and I fly and cool and young people like it.
05:10 No, we're a Bible church.
05:12 Don't get confused.
05:13 We believe that some people go too far and become too rigid, so church becomes boring.
05:18 But that said, don't get it twisted.
05:20 We believe the book.
05:22 We believe the book.
05:23 Who believes the book like me, praise God?
05:25 I'm in the book.
05:26 And the book, the book says one man for one woman.
05:29 I go further, one Christian man for one Christian woman.
05:32 I'm never going to do the ceremony of two people unless both confess Christ.
05:38 Why?
05:39 Because I believe that Christ is the progenitor, the establishmentarian, the creator of marriage.
05:45 I think He has the patent.
05:47 Whoever has the patent decides how it runs.
05:51 Man, the God who has the patent said one man for one woman.
05:57 Number two, we talked about the permanence of marriage.
06:00 Be careful before you say "I do" to somebody.
06:03 It's permanent.
06:04 That's a long time to be with a dummy.
06:08 Yeah, if you weren't here last week, only three reasons you can ever divorce if you're
06:12 a Christian.
06:13 If you're a Christian, three reasons, they beaten you, cheated you, or they left you,
06:18 abandoned you.
06:19 Brother won't even try to work.
06:21 You and the kids are hungry.
06:22 He's laying up there asleep.
06:23 In a real sense, even though he's present, he abandons you.
06:27 He's not even trying to provide, OK?
06:30 Or he's living with another woman.
06:31 She got another man.
06:33 She won't come home.
06:34 She moved back in with her parents because she mad at you.
06:37 You haven't hit her, you haven't done anything that bad, but she abandoned you.
06:41 In my opinion, that breaks the covenant.
06:44 That aside, under no circumstances are we leaving each other.
06:48 I'm with victory rose Vernon until we die.
06:52 Hear me.
06:53 And she get on my nerves once a year, praise God, amen.
06:57 Is she looking at me right now?
06:58 Somebody tell me right quick, praise, am I good?
07:00 Is she frowning?
07:01 OK, good, I'm cool, amen.
07:02 No, I love that girl and she loves me.
07:04 There is the permanence of marriage, but then watch this, there is the pedagogy.
07:09 Say pedagogy.
07:10 There is the pedagogy of marriage.
07:12 That simply means teaching.
07:13 Pedagogy, say teaching.
07:16 Pedagogy means teaching.
07:17 What do we mean by that?
07:18 Is the idea, what does the Bible say about marriage?
07:21 We talked about last week, voluntary submission.
07:24 Somebody say voluntary.
07:27 Voluntary submission by a wife.
07:30 Women don't get offended here, it's in the Bible.
07:31 It's in the Bible.
07:32 Maybe your mama didn't teach you this.
07:33 Maybe mama was tough and single and dad had left and so this is just stuff you didn't
07:38 hear.
07:39 She taught you survival, not submission.
07:41 I come to teach you that you can be a strong, intelligent, bright, degreed woman who makes
07:45 six figures.
07:46 If you are married to a man, sometimes there ought to be some submission.
07:51 A man who's a straight up bruh wants his woman to make him feel like one.
07:58 Didn't nobody say amen, even the women or the men?
08:01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:02 There's this idea, voluntary submission, not stupidity, not because I got to, not because
08:08 I can't pay my bills, but because I choose to be a wife and as a wife, I'm married to
08:14 a real man and a real man wants his woman to be soft.
08:19 Not to all my masculine sisters, "I'm hard like you."
08:25 Well, I don't want you.
08:28 I like you, I pray for you, I pray for you, I hug you, but I won't be married to you.
08:32 No, I want something soft in my bed.
08:35 Why submission?
08:36 Now, the Bible talks about a mutuality of submission.
08:40 Anybody who reads the Bible knows that in Ephesians 5.20, look at me, Ephesians 5.20,
08:45 submitting yourselves one to another.
08:48 And that says there's this specificity to women and I've been teaching you this, some
08:53 of you, for 23, 24, 25, 20 years.
08:56 Why does the Bible say submission to women and love to husbands?
09:01 Why?
09:02 Because most bruhs consider respect love.
09:06 If your wife dress cute and make love to you and make your children honor you and take
09:11 care of you, that's love to a man.
09:15 Respect is love.
09:16 I ask this question, when is the last time your husband asked you, "How come you don't
09:21 say you love me?"
09:25 Bruhs don't do that because they look at it like if you are loving me and taking care
09:31 of my children, that is love to a man.
09:34 However, women want to hear the words love, they want to feel love, they want you to say
09:40 love.
09:41 Talk to me, women, amen.
09:42 My wife still asks us, "Yo, pastor, when's the last time you said you love me?"
09:46 I'd be like, "Girl, we got grandkids and I pay the bills, leave me alone."
09:51 Makes no difference, sometimes she still wants that feeling of love.
09:55 So for women, there is voluntary submission and for men, there is Christ-like love.
10:04 Ooh, Christ-like.
10:06 Don't you get married unless you're willing to love your wife like Christ loved the church.
10:12 Somebody holler pedagogy.
10:15 Holler pedagogy.
10:17 Great class by the way, those watching online.
10:19 So I heard this woman, this female pastor who I'll leave unnamed, brilliant by the way,
10:24 seminarian, earned doctorate degree, we just disagree on theology and biblical marriage.
10:30 As a matter of fact, come on, let's talk.
10:33 She's married to a woman.
10:34 Yeah, she's a pastor and she's a female and she's married to a woman.
10:39 And she says when people tell her, "You're not married the right way, you need to be
10:43 married according to the Bible," her answer is, can we think, say, "Teach, pastor."
10:49 She responded by saying, "Don't say you want a Bible marriage.
10:54 You don't want a Bible marriage because in the Bible, women were treated as property."
11:00 She says, "In the Bible, if you caught your wife cheating, you could kill her.
11:06 But if she caught you, she couldn't do nothing."
11:09 She says, "So women, in light of patriarchy and chauvinistic tendencies, are you sure
11:14 you want a Bible marriage?"
11:17 I wanted to jump through that computer so bad because the people she was sitting with
11:21 I guess just didn't know enough because I would have corrected her in love and said,
11:26 "No, baby, I want a new covenant grace marriage because I'm not going any faster than this.
11:35 So if this offends you, I'll see you next week.
11:37 I'm going to teach this because there is something called, look at me, learners, the trajectory
11:44 of Scripture."
11:45 Say trajectory.
11:46 I promise I'm not taking you all to school.
11:49 It's Sunday morning, but I got to give you this.
11:51 Trajectory means it was one way in Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, but
11:58 as you keep reading, you see where Christ comes along and things shifted.
12:05 For instance, women were treated like nothing, but Jesus comes along, He got women on His
12:11 ministry team.
12:13 Paul got Priscilla and Aquila.
12:15 Come on, talk to me, Bible people.
12:18 And so maybe marriage was one way under the old covenant, but under the new covenant of
12:23 grace, Paul says, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church."
12:30 That's the Scripture everybody always quotes.
12:34 To me, one that's more cold-blooded than that, bros, watch this, is 1 Peter 3, 7.
12:39 I'm going to drop it on the screen so you can read it.
12:41 1 Peter 3, verse 7 says, "In the same way," oh, y'all just missed that, "In the same way,
12:47 in the same way, husbands must give honor to your wives.
12:51 Treat your wife with understanding as you live together.
12:55 She may be weaker than you, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life.
13:02 Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered."
13:07 Wait, that sounds like something shifted.
13:14 How did we get from women being property?
13:16 OK, so this is good, let me see how many thinkers I got.
13:19 Remember they caught that girl in adultery and they brought her before Jesus?
13:24 And they said in the law we should what?
13:26 Stone her.
13:28 I got one question for everybody here, lean on somebody and say, "Where was the man?"
13:35 How you gonna stone her but not stone the brush she was sleeping with?
13:38 Right?
13:39 Because there was this patriarchy.
13:41 But Peter gives this radical teaching.
13:45 Ooh, I may lose half of you because I don't know how many want to go with me this morning.
13:50 This is radical to his audience.
13:52 To his audience, not today, not today.
13:54 Equal rights, women, 19th Amendment, we know all kinds of things about women that have
13:59 changed, but not then.
14:01 This audience he's writing to has no value for women.
14:04 Even most women don't value themselves because they've been taught not to.
14:08 And Peter, in this patriarchal, patrilineal, patriolocal culture, looks at them and gives
14:16 them this radical teaching.
14:17 He says, "Treat your wife as your equal partner."
14:23 And the word "wife" there in the old language, the ancient language means "the feminine one."
14:29 Which means don't be married if you don't want to be the feminine one.
14:36 With your smart self.
14:38 I know you play basketball, but at home, be feminine.
14:42 I know you lift weights, but at home, come on, talk to me, somebody.
14:49 Implicit in that is that your husband should be the masculine one.
14:54 I ain't trying to have no hard sister, and you shouldn't want no soft man.
14:58 Touch your sister, I don't want nothing soft about my man, nothing, nothing.
15:06 OK, y'all, OK, you know what, I just lost the whole church, I'm going, praise God, I'll
15:10 see you tonight, everybody.
15:13 Yeah, yeah, so I want you to catch this.
15:16 But then it gets even better, he says, "Treat her, dwell with her."
15:23 Wow, one version, live with her, old King James, say dwell.
15:28 Why did he use dwell?
15:29 Because in the Greek, that's more than cohabitation.
15:31 I want to talk, it's more than let's go half on the house note.
15:36 Some people been married so long, they just like two ships passing in the night.
15:40 You got the remote?
15:43 Just sitting there, praise God.
15:44 Yeah, no longer living together, doing life together, accomplishing stuff together, not
15:50 just there together for 47 years, let's stay together, all green, no, it is bigger than
15:56 that.
15:57 Dwell together, treat her as your equal partner.
16:01 She's just as smart as you, she knows just as much as you, and then the Bible says, "As
16:07 the weaker vessel."
16:09 Now that's not talking about emotional weakness or spiritual weakness or mental weakness,
16:15 that's talking about physical weakness.
16:18 I've said it before, but if you can slam your husband, break up with him.
16:23 Yeah, it's not God's will for you to stay with a man you can slam, praise God.
16:33 Is that good, everybody?
16:35 Somebody holler "teach us today, pastor!"
16:39 Tonight we go into some places unknown with the married couples by yourselves, but today
16:43 I want to talk to single people, young people in your teens, 20s, 30s, let me bless you
16:48 because many of you, your mama ain't teach you this.
16:52 You had a good mama, by the way, she just ain't teach you this.
16:54 You had decent parents, but they can't teach what they didn't know or did not live out,
17:00 hence the reason for church.
17:02 Now can I start today's sermon now?
17:05 Oh, that was my recap, amen.
17:08 So welcome to the Word Church, here's my sermon for today, praise God.
17:11 The next thing I want to deal with is not only the participants, not only the permanence,
17:15 not only the pedagogy, but watch this, the purpose of marriage.
17:19 The purpose of marriage, hence my subject, why did I get married?
17:24 If I were to ask everybody in this room, what's the purpose of marriage, I'd probably get
17:29 an amalgam of answers, varied answers.
17:34 What's the reason for marriage?
17:36 By the way, why did you get married?
17:39 And why do you want to get married?
17:41 Let's talk about it.
17:42 First and foremost, it might amaze you, reason number one, it's in the Bible, it's not my
17:45 opinion, socialization.
17:46 Write it down, those who are taking notes, write it down, socialization, socialization.
17:51 Let me prove to you, the Bible says it is not good in Genesis 2:18, "It is not good
17:57 for the man to be alone, I'll make a helper, a companion for him."
18:03 God says it's not good for Brunman to be alone.
18:06 I'm going to make him a helper, I'm going to make him a companion.
18:11 Adam is created by God, look at me, he has never sinned, he has never eaten of the forbidden
18:18 fruit yet, so what do we call this theologically?
18:21 We call this a pre-fall text.
18:25 Everything after he ate the fruit is a post-fall text.
18:30 Everything before he ate the fruit is a pre-fall text.
18:33 I asked you this 15 years ago to some of my long-time members, "Have you ever seen a beautiful
18:39 sunset?"
18:40 Raise your hand.
18:41 "I wish you could have seen it before it fell."
18:44 "Have you ever seen a pretty flower?"
18:47 Raise your hand.
18:48 "I wish you could have seen it before it fell."
18:51 Even when you see something beautiful, it's falling.
18:55 It's not as pretty as it was before they sin.
18:59 Sin makes stuff ugly.
19:01 Talk to me somebody.
19:02 Sin robs you of beauty and innocence, and just like there are falling flowers and falling
19:09 sunsets, I got a fall in nature.
19:12 Which means I need my church.
19:15 I need the Word of God because there's something in me that's just wrong.
19:19 I got to fight between this duality of personality.
19:23 I can be spiritually bipolar.
19:25 On the one hand I love Jesus, on the other hand sometimes I want to cuss people out.
19:28 Raise your hand.
19:29 On the one hand I want my temple to be holy, sometimes I want to sleep with everybody.
19:33 Raise your hand, y'all just missed that.
19:34 God is messing with somebody today and teaching you, you need the Holy Spirit, you need the
19:41 grace of God, you need the Word of God, you need your church.
19:46 Why?
19:47 Because of your falling nature.
19:51 That's why sometimes people are attracted to everybody.
19:53 Men, women, two, five, ten, whatever.
19:58 Fall in nature.
19:59 Yeah, fall in nature.
20:00 That's why sometimes I get depressed and I don't know what I'm depressed about.
20:05 Fall in nature.
20:06 Sometimes my temper, I lose it.
20:07 I don't want to lose it.
20:08 I watch my parents do that.
20:09 Fall in nature.
20:10 Thank God for the grace of God.
20:16 But before man even fell, while he was perfect and sinless, great class by the way, God looked
20:26 at him and said, "With your perfect just like me self, it's not good for you to be alone.
20:32 I didn't create you to be independent.
20:39 Also didn't create you to be codependent.
20:45 I created you for interdependence, which means there's something in your nature that needs
20:52 to socialize."
20:55 The most quiet person, my oldest boy Dominic, if you know him, you know he ain't got nothing
20:58 to say no time.
21:01 But my most quietest baby, my wife and I know how to pull him out.
21:05 And once you get him talking, he won't shut up.
21:09 Because we know what to ask him because we realize no matter how introverted he is, sometime
21:14 he want to talk.
21:16 Sometime he want to share.
21:17 Nobody wants to be alone all the time.
21:20 So God says, "I'm gonna make you somebody to socialize with."
21:25 You thought I was gonna start with sex.
21:26 That's not what the Bible says.
21:28 The Bible says it's not good for man to be alone.
21:30 I'm finding something out to all of my older season, beautiful older ladies.
21:35 I'm finding something out as I'm doing my investigation around this church.
21:38 I'm finding more 50, 60, 70, 80-year-old women telling me, "Well, it would be nice to have
21:45 somebody to talk to.
21:47 It'd be alright to have a friend, I mean, we ain't gotta do nothing.
21:52 I mean, you know, he retired, I retired, and his kids grown, and you know, would be nice
22:00 just to sit around with somebody."
22:03 They don't even mention sex.
22:06 Not that that can't happen.
22:07 I'll say it again, there may be snow on the roof, but for some, it's fire in the chimney,
22:12 praise God, amen.
22:14 I just want all my older women to promise me one thing before you do that, stretch.
22:18 Praise God, I need to stretch.
22:19 You know, it's been a while, and I ain't, you know, I ain't trying to come to the hospital
22:23 'cause you trying to have sex and didn't stretch, praise God.
22:26 Your whole hamstring, your whole hamstring is out, just gone, just — your whole thigh
22:31 out of whack, just too much, mama.
22:33 Grandma, 79, you gotta stretch, talk to your older co-man, do some workouts.
22:37 I ain't saying you can't, I'm just saying, just — let's stretch.
22:42 Everybody said stretch a little bit, praise God, we gonna stretch a little bit, praise
22:44 God.
22:48 So, I got a question, is your spouse your companion?
22:55 Yeah, people say my wife is not my best friend, my wife is mine.
22:59 I really don't see how anybody else should be your best friend other than your spouse.
23:03 By the way, I'm not saying you shouldn't have other friends, but my girl is my best friend.
23:06 Give me one person to talk to until I die, if I gotta be trapped in a room with one person
23:11 for five or six weeks, give me my girl.
23:14 Give me my husband.
23:15 Spouses, you better fake like you — you better just — just play it off, better wink
23:21 at me or something, better wink.
23:23 Your wife like — are you gonna clap?
23:27 Praise God, amen, amen.
23:30 Is that good?
23:31 Yeah, so socialization, God said it's not good.
23:34 Pass it and say that.
23:35 The Bible says it's not good that man should be alone, that's what the Bible says, which
23:39 means, I'm sorry, parenthetically, all singles raise your hand.
23:43 Hence the reason for ministry and the groups, because it's not just sexual, it's socialization.
23:50 So the reason why I need to be busy in ministry and have a church that has a real good culture
23:56 where YF hangs out and teenagers hang out and people hang out and season saints so I
24:02 ain't always at home thinking about what I ain't got.
24:05 Because the devil plays in the mind, Joyce Myers wrote "What the Battlefield of the
24:10 Mind," why?
24:11 Because the enemy, I have you thinking about what you don't have and how you value yourself.
24:15 Girl, if you don't go on and serve some groceries to somebody hungry and help some teenagers
24:20 and get in ministry and go to a group, so sex not on your mind all the time.
24:27 And the enemy will have you thinking that you're lonely when you can get socialization
24:33 of the places.
24:35 Is that good, everybody?
24:37 So first and foremost, first and foremost, this is good, he said socialization.
24:42 But then secondly, lovemaking.
24:45 I got one amen and not even in here, in North Dakota, praise God, somebody in North Dakota
24:51 say "amen."
24:54 I know it's different, that's why tonight at 6 o'clock, shameless plug, jam this place,
25:00 because when I was a younger pastor, I would go places on Sunday morning that I wish I
25:04 kind of had a duo room.
25:06 Because you know, single people, and I know most single people here are not virgins, they
25:10 know what lovemaking is, live with bros, been married, all that, that's OK.
25:14 I still want to honor you and honor our young people, so there's some things I'm gonna say
25:18 tonight to married couples, I'm just not gonna say this morning.
25:21 But I will say this, lovemaking is in the Bible.
25:24 I want to be careful and measured and balanced, but don't let the first time your kids hear
25:31 about sex be from their phone.
25:35 Yeah, don't let it be from some bruh, you gotta know your child, they may be nine years
25:41 old and ready, they may be ten years old and ready.
25:44 Talk about sexuality like God created it and like the devil didn't.
25:48 Yeah, talk about sexuality to your child and don't make it taboo, which is why so many
25:54 church kids turn 18 and lose their minds.
25:57 Because you were so busy trying to hide it from them, my wife always on my lap, and my
26:02 kids know, knock before you come in our room.
26:06 You might run into something, y'all not talking to me, somebody.
26:09 Yeah, knock.
26:10 If the door, if the door closed, don't come in here talking about you shocked.
26:14 You should've knocked.
26:15 How you think you got here?
26:16 We ain't in here just talking, we in here —
26:23 When our door closed, you better knock.
26:25 We ain't great-grandma, we mama and daddy.
26:32 My daughter's 13 years old, she understands sexuality.
26:35 Yeah, her and I talk all the time about, "Listen, you're coming, you're changing, you're growing,
26:40 brother's gonna come at you, you're human, your body's changed."
26:43 All these things need to be taught in church.
26:47 Why the devil doing all the teaching?
26:49 Matter of fact, somebody with the Holy Ghost help me rebuke him, devil, you are a liar.
27:00 That's why so many of our kids come up pregnant and all of that stuff, because sometimes we
27:04 ain't talking enough.
27:05 And by the way, sometimes even when you talk and do it right, they still make decisions.
27:09 That's their call.
27:11 But lovemaking to every person here, I hear eight people saying, "He should not be saying
27:17 that sex is a reason for marriage.
27:20 He should not be saying that sex is a reason for marriage."
27:24 That's so superficial and unbiblical.
27:27 When I read the Bible, say, "Amen."
27:30 But in order to avoid sexual sin, each man should have his own wife and each woman should
27:37 have her own husband.
27:38 Mic drop.
27:39 Y'all see that?
27:40 Let me try this again.
27:42 In order to avoid — it's a very real reason.
27:46 In order to avoid sexual sin, in order — let me vernonize it, modernize it, contemporize
27:53 it — to avoid body counts.
27:57 Lean on somebody old and say, "You know what a body count is, grandma?
28:01 That's when you've been with more than one person, you're starting to have a body count,
28:04 praise God."
28:05 In order to avoid sexual sin, let every man have his own wife.
28:12 Let every wife have her own husband.
28:15 When I teach for eight minutes, raise your hand on this side.
28:19 Look at me, I ain't trying to hoop and holler, not today, maybe next week.
28:24 Baptism next week.
28:25 Right now, I want you to get this, because it could be life-changing.
28:28 And that is this.
28:29 He says sexuality is a real reason to get married.
28:34 Now what the text assumes, those watching me across the world, I gotta teach today.
28:38 The text assumes in that culture, there seems to have been an equal amount of available
28:44 men for an equal amount of available women.
28:49 Where is that not true in America?
28:52 The black ethos.
28:55 Somebody holler, "Teach us!"
28:58 There seems to be more available, saved black women than available, saved black men.
29:06 Which is why nobody gonna shut my mouth.
29:09 I come against criminal justice system inequity.
29:14 I come against all the brothers kissing each other, because somebody gotta marry these
29:20 available black women who are saved, spiritual, and sensual.
29:29 And somebody gotta say it.
29:30 Yeah, somebody gotta say that.
29:33 And by the way, this is why I'm like, "Paul, now I say this not by command.
29:38 I say this not by command."
29:41 I'm using Bible language, but in my opinion, all single brothers should be looking for
29:48 your wife if you like sex.
29:55 Thank you, Elder Coleman.
29:57 Thank you, I love you.
29:58 Now if you don't like sex and you're the Apostle Paul, and all you're gonna do is preach and
30:06 witness and stand on St. Clair and Superior with a bullhorn and say, "Come to Christ,"
30:10 and then go home and pray and lay down next to your Bible forever, you're not the brother
30:14 I'm talking to.
30:15 But for all the brothers who want to make love to a woman, who like the touch of a woman,
30:21 I'm pushing you to be aggressive and to pray.
30:25 Not rush and get a fool, but ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you your wife.
30:31 So that you are not in sexual sin.
30:35 You are not swiping left all day.
30:37 Look at that delicious from Oklahoma.
30:41 And all brothers have seen delicious one time from Oklahoma.
30:45 You're not gonna marry her, so I'll watch her and masturbate to her and stuff like that
30:51 that gets your spirit twisted up.
30:54 And by the time you get married, your mind is so polluted, it's hard to recover.
31:03 I, I think my wife is cute and fine and built nice and all that, that's my opinion, I'm
31:13 sure it's not to every brother, she's my wife.
31:15 But one of the reasons I think I'm successful here, me, is because it just wasn't a whole
31:18 lot before her.
31:19 And by the way, if there has been, there's something I'm about to say that should make
31:24 80 people shout the blood of Jesus.
31:27 Didn't nobody — I guess I'm, I'm sorry, let me go back just for five minutes, what
31:32 can wash away my sins?
31:36 Come on, talk to me.
31:37 What can make me whole again?
31:39 Slap four people in front of you, say nothing but the blood, go ahead.
31:44 Everybody that's made mistakes, would you thank God for the blood?
31:47 Every divorcee, every long, ratchet relationship, every one-night stand, every college thing
31:54 that I shouldn't have done in my life, my baby's father, my, my mother, I wish I had
31:59 ten people that would thank God for the blood.
32:02 Slap five people, say the blood, the blood, the blood, the blood.
32:09 That's the wrong person, find somebody you haven't slapped and tell them the blood, the
32:12 blood, the blood, the blood, the blood, the blood.
32:21 I just felt that in Jesus' name.
32:23 Oh my goodness, I got, I got nine minutes.
32:28 This is critical.
32:30 Every man, the reality is, the text says "let every woman have her own husband, let every
32:38 man have his own wife."
32:40 Real question, I'm asking transparency, however, you don't have to give it to me.
32:45 What woman in here who's single would not mind being married?
32:48 Amen, amen, amen, amen.
32:52 If there was the right brother who, who looked all right, come on now, you're 39, we just
33:00 gonna, we just gonna go with all right, amen.
33:03 You're 18, fine.
33:05 39, all right, raise your hand, praise God, job.
33:10 I said this at the singles thing, stop me when I'm lying, every man in this church,
33:16 including the ugly ones, can be married in one year if he wants to.
33:25 I'm talking ugly.
33:27 No, what's funny, I ain't the best looking but there's levels to this, praise God, there's
33:34 some brothers.
33:35 I mean, you ever seen an ugly brother with a dime?
33:38 You're like, "nah, he ugly."
33:40 He smelled nice, he loved Christ, he got a job, he got game, women are attracted to,
33:48 to pursuit and charisma and, and help me pay my bills and, and strength of personality
33:55 and you can just look all right.
33:57 Every, every single man in this church with a job in Jesus can be married in six months
34:04 to a year if he want to, to somebody cute and safe.
34:11 Not necessarily so with every single, particularly black woman, which is why I wrote the book,
34:16 you gotta read it and I wanna talk to you so you don't start tripping on what you don't
34:20 have but praise God for what you do have because when God gets ready, He can bless you whenever
34:25 He wants to and there might be a shortage of men but hear the sister say, "not for me."
34:31 Go ahead, tell somebody.
34:32 Okay, y'all missed that, praise God.
34:33 What God has for me, it is, it is for me.
34:37 Is that good, everybody?
34:41 But in order to avoid sexual temptation, what time is it?
34:45 I got, I got, I got six minutes.
34:46 I want y'all to catch this.
34:48 In the Corinthian context, oh my goodness, immorality was rapid.
34:54 There was prostitution, there was all kind of sexual deviance.
34:59 In that context, Paul says to avoid all that, I got a question.
35:03 If it was that in the first century, what is it now?
35:09 If it was that pre-social media, I gave a stat most of you didn't appreciate and that's
35:16 this.
35:17 I told you that the average 13-year-old boy has seen more naked women than his grandfather
35:24 because of phones.
35:25 I told you the average 13, 14-year-old young man has seen more sexual stuff than the greatest
35:31 Roman emperor because of the phones, because of computers.
35:37 So couples, see you tonight, we ain't got time to play sex games.
35:42 And all married couples better clap if you know what I'm talking about.
35:46 There's a real devil and he's trying to tempt your husband and tempt your wife and you gotta
35:51 step your game up.
35:54 Hallelujah.
35:55 Uh-huh.
35:56 I'm gonna cuss y'all out tonight.
36:01 I'm telling you right quick, praise God, I don't cuss but I'm talking about — OK,
36:04 praise God, amen.
36:05 Yeah, yeah, so what's the purpose?
36:08 There is socialization, right?
36:10 There is socialization, there is lovemaking, but then watch this, here's another one, procreation.
36:16 Procreation, let's read it from the Bible, let's make sure I'm in the Word.
36:19 The Bible says, "And God blessed them and said, 'Be fruitful and multiply, fill the
36:25 earth, fill the earth.'"
36:27 He tells Adam and Eve, then he tells Noah, who reads your Bible, to replenish it.
36:32 Remember after the flood?
36:33 He tells Noah, "Replenish the earth," because everyone had died because of the flood.
36:36 Y'all gotta catch this and I'm gonna, I'm gonna let you go.
36:39 The reason for marriage too is, is to procreate and have children.
36:46 I guess I may lie to you, I guess I'm the only prophet left who gonna say this out loud.
36:49 I'm not trying to be tough or Tupac in the pulpit, I'm just telling you what I believe.
36:54 If all the brothers with each other, then who's gonna help procreate the black race?
37:01 Who's gonna raise up the next kings and queens?
37:05 If all the brothers locked up in the joint and the rest are kissing each other, who's
37:11 left to marry our women and procreate the right way so that every child is not fatherless?
37:18 Because a woman wants sex because she's human, but there's no man to marry, which leaves
37:24 a child with a good mama with no man.
37:27 Y'all not talking to me.
37:29 And don't nobody want me to teach the truth, but the devil is a liar.
37:33 One of the reasons for marriage is for us to be married and have our babies together
37:39 and raise them up in family, which is at the forefront of godly life.
37:48 Because good families form strong communities.
37:52 Communities form cities.
37:53 Cities form countries, countries form the world.
37:56 In order to have a kingdom world, we need kingdom families.
38:00 So I need you, even if it's not you, to clap for your grandkids and your kids and say,
38:06 "You better listen to this teaching."
38:15 There should be no babies out of wedlock.
38:18 I know it happened.
38:19 My mama had me young.
38:20 Life happens.
38:21 But I want the young people to hear me.
38:23 I want the church to hear me.
38:25 So I'm done.
38:26 This gonna bless your life.
38:28 So we talked about this idea of socialization and lovemaking, wow, and procreation.
38:35 Here's one you haven't thought about, and I bid you goodbye, domination.
38:39 Didn't nobody say none.
38:42 I need some couples to get hype right here.
38:44 I need some single people to get hype.
38:47 The Bible says in Genesis 1, 28, the "be" clause, "take charge."
38:52 Be responsible for fish in the sea, birds in the air, every — you didn't shout.
38:59 You didn't shout.
39:00 Oh, you didn't shout.
39:01 You don't know why God made you, do you?
39:04 You a dominator.
39:06 You know what dominion means?
39:09 It means take dominion.
39:11 It means run stuff.
39:13 It means take charge.
39:15 Don't hook up with somebody who's not gonna help you dominate.
39:18 No, no, no.
39:20 We ain't just going half on the baby and half on the house, no.
39:25 Me and that girl are dominating.
39:26 OK, y'all didn't say nothing.
39:27 And you ain't gotta have a mega church to dominate.
39:32 If you married to somebody, it's more than just you paying the light bill, you paying
39:36 the electric bill, what day we going to Georgia, what day we going to see the point.
39:39 The devil is a liar.
39:41 It's more to marriage than that.
39:43 You can stay by yourself.
39:44 The reason for marriage is I hook up with somebody and we figure out what we gonna dominate.
39:50 We dominating generational curses.
39:54 We breaking poverty off our family.
39:56 We going to get your niece and my nephew and we gonna teach them how to be real people.
40:02 We gonna do what my sister didn't do.
40:04 We gonna do what my brother didn't do.
40:06 We gonna leave so much money this family will never be broke again.
40:11 We ain't just laying up kissing all day and depressed and mad, we dominating.
40:17 Oh, I wish I had some people.
40:20 I wish I had some people.
40:24 Me and your first lady, no, no, no, no.
40:28 We ain't come just to be there.
40:30 We walk in, we come in to dominate.
40:32 Oh, you better watch us when we walk in the room, we come in to dominate.
40:36 The whole atmosphere gonna change when the Vernon's walk in.
40:38 Oh, God bless Jay-Z and Beyonce.
40:40 I'm talking about Queen V over there, y'all miss that, praise God.
40:45 When I walk in with the queen, you gonna know we there.
40:49 And not because of jewelry and accessories, Peter said, "Don't let it be your braided hair
40:54 or your jewelry or your outward appearance, but your inward spirit."
40:58 Which means when her and I walk in the room, you gonna say, "They dominating, they dominating."
41:04 Don't you realize, brother, you gotta help that girl dominate.
41:08 I remember I finished my master's degree, she ain't asked me, I said, "You're gonna
41:12 finish yours next."
41:13 She ain't even set her classes.
41:14 I called the school and set her classes from start to graduation.
41:18 Then she let me go get my doctorate.
41:20 When I got through with my doctorate, she wasn't setting no doctorate, I said, "Get
41:23 yours too."
41:24 I said, "Don't worry, I'll watch 'Victory,' 'Victory' was small, your mother helped me,
41:28 Brother Williams, we gonna get this done, go finish that."
41:30 Then I did, fraternity, old dream of mine, didn't do it young enough in college, did
41:35 it in my later years in college.
41:37 She said, "I always wanted to be a Delta," I said, "Go do that."
41:40 So, so she did that.
41:42 And now, we planning our next thing.
41:44 And tonight, when you walk up in here, we gonna dominate this stage together.
41:49 We gonna give the devil hell and say, "Devil, you can't have the couples of the Word, church!"
41:55 'Cause there's a dominating couple.
41:59 Slap out people say, "Dominate!"
42:04 Oh, y'all get me excited up in here.
42:14 Next time a brother asks you for your number, say, "Are you a dominator?
42:18 I need a terminator and a dominator, not just a baby maker, can I get—"
42:25 Slap three people, say, "Dominate, dominate, dominate, dominate!"
42:32 Take authority.
42:38 You don't have to have no big church to dominate.
42:41 You and her get together and figure out what you gonna dominate.
42:46 In life or death, we gonna leave some money.
42:50 'Cause we gonna pay our insurance policy before we pay our hairdresser.
42:58 We not gonna be average black people.
43:01 If I die today, baby, you good.
43:05 If you die, baby, God knows I don't want your money, but we gonna get a policy on you too.
43:08 If we don't do nothing but bless the kids and bless whatever, the grandkids, your mother,
43:14 we ain't shopping and doing eyelashes with no life insurance.
43:17 No, no, no, no, no, we gonna dominate.
43:25 Baby, what's ever important to you, let me know so we can go dominate that thing.
43:30 Your nephew, that's what we praying for, let's dominate that.
43:33 Have him come over, I speak life over him.
43:35 I do my best.
43:37 What's important, baby?
43:38 Let's, let's choose something, our neighborhood that we're from.
43:40 We gonna put our backs together like the Avengers.
43:44 Come on up here, baby, hurry up.
43:46 Watch this, and we gonna dominate.
43:51 To those of you that are single, in Jesus' name, you dominate something.
43:56 You don't wait to get married, take dominion.
44:00 Take dominion over depression.
44:02 Take dominion over loneliness.
44:04 Pay off your house.
44:05 Own something.
44:06 Get you three rental properties before you get a man.
44:07 Dominate something.
44:08 Finish your degree.
44:09 Finish your business before you get married.
44:10 Dominate something.
44:11 Finish your business plan.
44:17 Don't lay around tripping.
44:18 Dominate.
44:19 Whenever you see your pastor, I'm dominating something.
44:28 I got a time issue more than I have a money issue.
44:30 I got a time issue, because every time you see me, I'm on my way somewhere.
44:36 It's dominating time.
44:37 God has put dominion in you.
44:38 I speak over me and Rich Head.
44:39 In the name of Jesus, you a dominator.
44:41 Oh, point at that brother.
44:43 Any man next to you, stretch your hand toward him now.
44:46 You a dominator.
44:48 You a dominator.
44:49 Demons are trembling because of you.
44:50 Shake it up.
44:51 I feel the Holy Ghost in here.
44:54 Demons are—demons are trembling because of you.
44:57 Demons are trembling.
44:58 Stretch your hand toward that man.
45:01 Stretch your hand toward that man in your house.
45:03 Demons are trembling.
45:06 Generational curses are being broken in the name of Jesus.
45:08 As I speak, that curse is being lifted off your house.
45:12 You'll make more money than your father, grandfather, and great-grandfather together.
45:16 Your bottom line will be bigger than every man before you since slavery.
45:24 Ladies raise your hand in the name of Jesus.
45:25 You a kingdom woman.
45:27 You a woman of grace.
45:30 To my seasoned older women, you a woman of grace and wisdom.
45:34 Your grandkids and great-grandkids will be blessed because of you.
45:37 Because of the wisdom you spoke.
45:39 Because of the life you live.
45:40 May the work that I've done speak for me.
45:44 I speak life over every woman, 70, 80, 90.
45:47 To women in their 20s and 30s, you shall make good decisions in Jesus' name.
45:52 You'll do better than every woman that preceded you.
45:54 To women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, in the prime of your life, money's coming to you.
46:00 Your marriage is better.
46:01 Your kids are better.
46:03 It's your time in Jesus' name.
46:06 Oh, I feel the Holy Ghost.
46:22 Did I tell y'all socialization?
46:26 Did I tell y'all lovemaking?
46:27 I receive, I receive.
46:28 I love you, sir.
46:29 Did I tell y'all procreation?
46:34 Did I tell y'all domination?
46:36 One more so I can sleep tonight.
46:39 Illustration.
46:43 Why did I get married?
46:44 Look at the Scripture.
46:45 It's on the screen, watch this.
46:48 This is the great mystery, but it is an illustration.
46:53 Am I in the Bible, everybody?
46:54 Am I in the Bible?
46:55 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.
47:02 If me and my girl do it right, God knows we trying.
47:05 We've been trying for over two decades in front of y'all with our imperfect self.
47:09 God knows we trying.
47:11 If we do this thing right, somebody should look at us and say "I want to get saved."
47:19 Why did I get married?
47:22 Because I ain't see a lot of happy marriages growing up.
47:27 Why did I get married?
47:28 For lovemaking, for socialization, yeah, for procreation, our babies together, she's the
47:33 mother of my children.
47:35 For domination, can't nobody say that Cleveland not a little better because of us.
47:40 They just be lying.
47:41 A little better, a little better.
47:46 But more than all of that, when you look at us, we want you to see Jesus.
47:53 Because just because you got two dollars over your lunch money and a nice house in a vanilla
47:57 suburb don't mean you happy.
48:01 That just mean both of y'all got a job.
48:03 We want people to look at us and say "Jesus" on them.
48:05 "Jesus" on them.
48:08 I want Jesus because I wish I had somebody, single or married, that would say "Let them
48:12 see Jesus" on me.
48:13 Oh, I wish you'd lift your hand and say "Let them see Jesus" on my marriage.
48:19 Y'all sing, come on.
48:20 Let them see Jesus.