Abonne toua !
Category
😹
AmusantTranscription
00:00 [Music]
00:04 So, being now in possession of a chain
00:06 with a few thousands of subscribers, we're not going to lie,
00:08 we are, as they say, "influencers".
00:10 I swear, I'm even able to influence your mother,
00:12 and I even influence myself. Last time, I didn't know what to eat,
00:14 I said pasta, I ate pasta, my friend. That's the life of an influencer.
00:16 And who says "influencer" necessarily says
00:18 "sell your ass for money",
00:20 that's the basics, yeah, and so I invoke
00:22 product placement. And these last
00:24 weeks, we've been confronted with our first
00:26 contacts with brands, and it didn't go very well.
00:28 It's the least we can say. So, in this video,
00:30 we're going to tell you two little anecdotes
00:32 related to these famous emails, product placement
00:34 and other dark stories.
00:36 [Music]
00:38 So, this first story is the very definition
00:40 of an emotional elevator.
00:42 It was the Russian mountains in my ass, my friend.
00:44 Since a month ago, during a sunny day in January,
00:46 it's false, it was raining ropes, by the way, I tried to take one
00:48 to hang myself, but I didn't succeed because, in fact,
00:50 it was a metaphor. Lol, I love humor. So,
00:52 during this sunny day, we received
00:54 an email from a certain Jacob Cox,
00:56 who will come next, Jacob Cox the 100,
00:58 telling us the following thing. "Hi, my name is
01:00 Jacob Cox, with an X, not CK
01:02 like in Big Black Cox. Would you like
01:04 to earn a lot of money by doing a fucking
01:06 product placement with fucking NordVPN?
01:08 If yes, send us your prices at 36k."
01:10 He didn't exactly say things like that, but
01:12 you got it, the words were in a different order.
01:14 And we, you know us, we love
01:16 the fluff, the money, the moula, all that, all that.
01:18 Besides, it's the first time we're offered a product placement.
01:20 And besides, it's for your NordVPN
01:22 that we've already parodied a lot, especially
01:24 in this video. VPN neighbor, the mobile
01:26 app that generates random answers
01:28 for your little neighbor's bastards you don't
01:30 want to talk to. "Hey neighbor,
01:32 don't you have sugar? Because I'm making
01:34 little crepes in my gadget, it's gonna be
01:36 MAMA!" "Hey, my balls on your nose,
01:38 does it look like a banana?" So, we had to
01:40 say yes. Except that we, we don't know anything about it, we're
01:42 Pokemons, we could do it for free if the guy tells us
01:44 it's funny. So, in order not to get fooled
01:46 like a traditional baguette in the early morning,
01:48 we go to find out about the prices.
01:50 And when I talk about prices, I feel like a whore, but
01:52 yeah, it's a bit like that, actually. And after
01:54 some research on the internet you know,
01:56 we send a little email to Jacob LeSang
01:58 to tell him "Ok, we're ready, 700 bucks."
02:00 And then, he tells us "No, it's dead, guys,
02:02 500 bucks." So, we're ready to go,
02:04 we're here, we take our keyboard, "Ok,
02:06 500 bucks. But it's good because it's you,
02:08 Jacob, yeah." Then, the guy doesn't know what to say anymore, he's like
02:10 "Ok, ok, 500."
02:12 At this moment, in our heads, we're the kings of the night,
02:14 I'm David Guetta Ibiza and he's Martin Solveig,
02:16 another place where we party, I don't know any other.
02:18 I'm not a fag, ok? I don't have the dreams of being a fag.
02:20 We just have to wait for Jacob LeSang de la Vénas
02:22 to introduce us to a NordVPN dad and for them to accept our profile.
02:24 But normally, it should be good.
02:26 So, for now, we're waiting like "Yeah,
02:28 I'm going to do a NordVPN placement,
02:30 yeah, 500 bucks in my veins, dude."
02:32 *clink clink clink* Except that
02:34 *laughs* the next day, Jacob
02:36 arrives, well, he doesn't arrive at our place,
02:38 he arrives in the mailbox, and he tells us
02:40 "Thanks for your patience on this subject,
02:42 I just received news from the client,
02:44 and unfortunately, they decided not to continue
02:46 with your channel on this occasion."
02:48 And now, it's the cold shower, so cold
02:50 that Max caught a cold, he might die, so we don't know.
02:52 We're still waiting for the doctor's results.
02:54 And we're in the misunderstanding, why didn't they want to?
02:56 Look at us, we're nice, aren't we? I'm nice.
02:58 At some point, she tells me I'm nice.
03:00 So, we decide to send a mail to Jacob LeSang de la Vénas
03:02 to ask him why NordVPN
03:04 put a rat hole in our face, when it's not
03:06 even a gardening brand, I don't understand!
03:08 And now, Jacob answers us, honestly
03:10 "Well, guys, you're a bit too salty,
03:12 and the ass jokes, well, it didn't work out."
03:14 So, she has a NordVPN product placement
03:16 and a facial. Finally, what we can remember
03:18 from this fabulous story, is that
03:20 a guy from NordVPN moved like this,
03:22 who liked our videos, and was like
03:24 "Pfff, no, no, no, the joke about the Third Reich,
03:26 that's hot. But I'm subscribing anyway
03:28 because it's disgusting."
03:30 This second story is even more recent
03:32 because it was last week,
03:34 and I can tell you that if today
03:36 we can still make videos on this channel,
03:38 it's thanks to Google security, my friend.
03:40 So, Mr. Google, I'll suck you whenever you want,
03:42 and for you, it'll be free. Well, this story
03:44 is with an email, because we're in 2021,
03:46 you know, the travel pigeons, it's not done anymore.
03:48 And it's again an email for a product placement.
03:50 Well, well, well. Indeed,
03:52 according to this guy, the brand HyperX
03:54 would like to send us products so we can promote them
03:56 in videos. And it's a good thing,
03:58 it's a computer brand, and our gear
04:00 stinks like shit. My audio headset only hears
04:02 one ear, my keyboard loses keys,
04:04 my mouse is full of spares, my screen is so saturated,
04:06 my eyes are bleeding, when I turn on
04:08 PornHub, the logo goes "Pfff, it's too saturated."
04:10 But the email is in English,
04:12 and you know what? I'm a big shit in English,
04:14 like in all the other areas of my life. So, let's go to Google Translate
04:16 to understand this language.
04:18 Once the email is translated and a positive response is sent,
04:20 we already project ourselves with a very fresh
04:22 coca-cola in our new setup,
04:24 like this, to Walp, of course, because I'm always naked
04:26 in my house. The next day, the brand
04:28 answers us enthusiastically and invites us
04:30 to choose 1000€ of products
04:32 in their catalog. Important information
04:34 of this sentence, 1000€! Well,
04:36 seeing the sum, we start to think that we're being
04:38 scammed by the ass, you see. I feel like I'm
04:40 being scammed. Except that, seeing the sum, our logic sense
04:42 starts to be fucked by this whole ass.
04:44 Fucked or fucked, I don't know, choose the word you want.
04:46 So, since we're very, very, very, very, very
04:48 stupid, we're pokémons, seeing the good everywhere,
04:50 we're fucking teddy bears,
04:52 we say to ourselves "Let's download this catalog,
04:54 what can happen to us?" Here, we realize
04:56 that it's something to download, like
04:58 interactive catalog, which would have stopped everyone
05:00 a logical tantine. But we're very stupid, so it's ok.
05:02 And we also realized that the email address
05:04 was in Russia, and who cares if they don't have
05:06 any premises in Russia? But we, you see, we're like
05:08 "Yeah, yeah, no, we're like, we're very stupid, you see."
05:10 And we installed it. And, at the risk of surprising you,
05:12 this famous app, well, it was
05:14 a big, big virus, yeah, yeah, yeah!
05:16 And to be sure, we downloaded it twice on the PC,
05:18 because the first time, it had bugged. It would be stupid
05:20 to not get infected by a virus,
05:22 you see. No, but I told you we were very stupid.
05:24 And what did this app do? Why, since earlier,
05:26 we talk about it as if it was the devil,
05:28 maybe it's nice. Basically, it got all
05:30 the passwords in the computer and ROM, and it
05:32 sent them to a Russian email address, where there was
05:34 probably a big Russian waiting behind to get
05:36 all the passwords, like "POOL!"
05:38 "HOPLA, I GOT IT!" Especially the password
05:40 of the YouTube channel. "BADASS!"
05:42 But we didn't realize it, because the virus
05:44 didn't say "Shit, I just hacked you, change your password,
05:46 my friend, before I take everything and use it against you."
05:48 No, it didn't say that. So we had the impression that nothing happened.
05:50 Except that at one point, while we were doing our little
05:52 jokes, we received a notification like "Did you
05:54 try to change the password of the YouTube channel,
05:56 guys?" Except that no, we hadn't tried at all
05:58 to change the password of the YouTube channel, and that's the problem.
06:00 It was this famous big Russian who was trying to steal
06:02 the entirety of our life. But fortunately,
06:04 he was blocked by Google security.
06:06 "Thanks Google!" So yes, we are very stupid, but we have
06:08 limits. We get fucked once, and we say "Thank you",
06:10 and then we say "It's ok, I don't want it anymore."
06:12 So we changed all the passwords of the entirety of our life.
06:14 I even changed my first name and family to be sure.
06:16 Moral of this story, be careful
06:18 on the Internet, especially don't answer
06:20 emails coming from Russia or other
06:22 countries that don't have the same alphabet as us.
06:24 It may be racist, but yeah, it's a real
06:26 moral, and don't be blinded by money.
06:28 *laughs*
06:30 The worst moral. Don't communicate with people
06:32 who don't speak your language. *laughs*
06:34 *laughs*
06:36 There you go, we've revealed a little more about our life,
06:38 and our bullshit, especially. I hope you liked it,
06:40 don't hesitate to like to support us
06:42 and prove us that you want more videos like this,
06:44 to share the video to support us and
06:46 prove us that you want more videos like this.
06:48 Don't hesitate to go on Tipeee, the first one
06:50 who reads everything we wrote, I give him 20 bucks,
06:52 and go follow us on Twitter, what are you waiting for?
06:54 I say it at the end of every video, I want to see the notification.
06:56 Oh, it's ok, yes.
06:58 *French singing*
07:00 *French singing*
07:02 *French singing*
07:04 *French singing*
07:06 *French singing*