Abonne touéé
Category
😹
AmusantTranscription
00:00 *music*
00:01 Come on, drink my brother!
00:03 *music*
00:05 Hopla! You're the one who drinks this time, jackal!
00:08 *music*
00:10 Ladies and gentlemen, today, if we meet again, it's for an anecdote video.
00:13 But finally brother, it's not a game, it's a YouTube video!
00:16 Exactly, my friend, playing with you, it amused me for about 2 seconds, in fact.
00:19 So I started a little video of my stu, the guy who farts in the car, it's too funny.
00:22 Well, it's not very Charlie, you could respect me a minimum, anyway.
00:25 I too have a sensitive heart and palpable emotions.
00:27 Blah blah blah blah blah blah... Do you have more than 3 million subscribers?
00:31 No, I don't think so, so let me tell you that your palpable emotions, I don't hear from the Fiat.
00:35 Well, I still passed the 100,000 subscribers, sir, it's not nothing.
00:38 And yes, me and my commune, we are proud of all this path traveled to this day, yes.
00:41 100,000 subscribers? But wow, that's great, my guy!
00:44 That's what I would have said if I was really impressed.
00:46 You're bad, my guy, you're busted!
00:48 I remind you that you are also part of the chain.
00:50 We are both in the same boat, brother, I don't know if you got it.
00:52 But damn, it's true, we are both bad, in fact.
00:54 Oh, give me a beer, I have to get drunk in the alcohol to forget all my sadness.
00:57 Better solution, I think.
00:58 Well, today we decided to talk to you about Mastu Batman,
01:05 more commonly called Mastu for obvious reasons of well-being,
01:08 or even Theodore for his relatives or people who have taken too much confidence.
01:11 But be careful, not Theodore, it's an allusion, but it's not the same person.
01:14 Mastu has a much more titanic chibre, which facilitates differentiation.
01:18 In addition to that, his channel accounts for no less than 3.5 million subscribers,
01:22 which is almost three times higher than Theodore's channel.
01:25 I say that, I say R, my brother.
01:27 Finally, all this to say that in the space of 6 years, Mastu has broken the YouTube game,
01:31 by imposing himself as one of the leaders of an industry already well in place.
01:34 Unlike us who have been making videos for much longer
01:37 and who have not managed to get even a thirtieth of his subscribers.
01:40 So some will say "Yes, but you have the time, guys, it's okay, he's older than you."
01:44 No, he's one year younger, so shut up and let me self-flagellate.
01:48 After that, he also has two secondary channels, Mastu TV and Mastu the influencer of a Go.
01:53 The first is a channel of Best of Twitch, abandoned for more than a year,
01:56 probably because it does not yet master the multi-cloning.
01:59 And the other, a channel that can be qualified as a "fortune" to not say "trash",
02:02 on which you can find this video where he separates his hair in two,
02:06 like Moses opening his mother to introduce himself to his Jewish people.
02:11 No, frankly, the guy has everything.
02:14 An impressive physique, a working YouTube channel, a huge salary.
02:18 I think he discovered a life's trick, there is no other solution.
02:20 Or he just worked and made quality videos for long enough to reap the success he deserves, at the peak.
02:26 No, too simple.
02:27 In addition, merit does not exist, it is a concept invented by the rich to make the poor believe that everything is possible.
02:31 It's well done, but it does not exist.
02:33 You know that there, on the other hand, you just launched a real debate,
02:35 because the last time I was talking about it with friends ...
02:37 But I do not give a shit about your friends!
02:38 All I want is to discover his secret and appropriate it to gain as much success as him.
02:42 So I have a question for you.
02:44 Are you with me or against me? Answer quickly!
02:46 Ok, I'm serious!
02:47 By cons, for the size of your penis, we can not do anything about it.
02:50 We'll have to learn to live with your micro-zob. Sorry.
02:52 Well, Mastu is a successful YouTuber and this truth is inevitable.
02:55 The guy literally lives his life like a shonen and does not hide it.
02:58 He was inspired by the greatest, such as Luffy or Rizuku,
03:02 but without the Gomu Gomu no Mi or the One for All.
03:05 Which creates, I must admit, a slight disadvantage,
03:07 proving once again that real life is shit, it stinks.
03:10 Well, it does not matter, since these detractors are not superpowers,
03:13 but just people Kevin Twitos who screams on the dopage at the mere sight of a penis vein.
03:17 Or people Michel Connard who screams at the fake when he sees his contours of careful renewal.
03:20 Suddenly, only his humor is enough to face the jealous who are jealous of their jealousy,
03:24 while allowing him to waste the too banal daily life, la li la la,
03:28 and thus flee all these disloyal people, la li la la,
03:31 by surrounding himself with a crew made up of his most faithful comrades,
03:34 while I try to wedge a maximum of dreams, even if it is ultra forced, like ...
03:39 "Hey, how many shots do you shoot in the head?"
03:41 "I don't know, two, at the peak."
03:43 In this crew is Joyca, this happy train-kicker he met in a red box.
03:47 Bastu is also surrounded by the Inca, a guy I know too little to have an opinion,
03:51 Dactuan, whom I know even less, but he has a nice face, so it's okay.
03:54 And together, they roam the agitated waters of a platform that demonetizes free videos.
03:59 No, but seriously, watch the video on sex, it was banned at the age of 18,
04:02 while I put euros instead of "e" so that the algorithm does not find the word "sex".
04:06 Well, I just had a little personal message to send, but she breaks balls there.
04:09 "Well my little friend, I compiled 2-3 information that should help us steal his personality.
04:15 Watch me, my little guy.
04:17 Well, to begin with, this is a non-contractual photo of him baby.
04:20 This is the definition of the expression "non-contractual".
04:23 This is a photo of him in a slipper, and this is a photo sponsored by LDLC.
04:27 "Oh wait, wait, are we paid at least to show this photo sponsored by LDLC,
04:32 allowing you to win this beautiful computer equipped with a 3070 Super, as well as a Ryzen 7 12 core?"
04:40 Well no, we are not paid, it's just free advertising, as usual.
04:43 But he was, and that's what interests us.
04:45 Understand the journey of money to better intercept it.
04:47 "Ah, that means you want to break my ass with a Winchester?"
04:50 No, not at all, no, no, that's not what I said.
04:52 "Well a little anyway."
04:53 What I mean is that you have to learn to think like him,
04:55 to then act like him, and finally generate as much zeal as him.
04:59 Money, do you understand the language of money?
05:01 Okay, I just passed the people on Hearthstone with a murloc deck,
05:05 who's going to do what? Nobody's going to do anything.
05:07 Okay, so you don't listen to me at all when I speak, is that it?
05:09 I'm invisible to your eyes? I'm going to smoke, my friend.
05:11 What are you doing if I smoke? You'll have my death on your conscience.
05:13 But yes, I'm listening to you, I just came across a very interesting article
05:16 from fakenews.com on Mastu, said Masturbatman.
05:19 Oh yeah, and what does it say? Your revolutionary article?
05:21 Quick, I press the trigger.
05:23 I'm going to smoke, did you understand that?
05:24 So basically, if I understood correctly,
05:26 it all started when Mastu ate a vegetable from the Shetan,
05:29 which gave him special powers.
05:31 He then took the sea, accompanied by his crew, the Lot,
05:34 in order to find the One Piece.
05:36 And after many adventures, especially his fight against Doflamingo,
05:39 he finally found the One Piece, which brought him eternal wealth.
05:43 But nonsense, it's just a parody of One Piece, your revolutionary article.
05:47 You're the one I'm going to smoke.
05:48 One Piece? I've never heard of it, I don't know it either,
05:50 I'm allergic to gluten, so let's just say
05:52 I try to avoid everything related to pastry, you get it?
05:54 Wait, you don't know One Piece?
05:56 But forget Mastu, let's get back to that first.
05:58 Next video, the not-so-surprising summary of One Piece.
06:01 Yes sir, perfectly.
06:02 Oh yeah, I love this opening, it's huge, I listen to it in a loop.
06:05 Wait, wait, wait, are you kidding me?
06:07 You just said you didn't know One Piece, how do you know the opening?
06:09 One Piece? Never heard of it.
06:11 It must have been a huge success.
06:12 That's it, it's the end of this video.
06:16 Mastu, if you're watching, subscribe to Chakal, it's nice,
06:19 share the video, we never know on your social media,
06:21 it can be a bit of a treat, you know what I mean?
06:23 By the way, to make it happen, click on the pinned link in the comments
06:26 and retweet the tweet we tweeted on Twitter beforehand.
06:29 Thanks to everyone who will do it, thanks to the tippers who type and support us,
06:33 thanks to myself and on that, kisses, see you next time, love!
06:36 Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe.