FRIED Mac & Cheese Balls, Holiday Barbies, SNES Rifle Redo! | BoxMac 183 - video Dailymotion

Red Cow Entertainment

It's the BoxMac Holiday Special 2023! Angry Kirby returns and we try Manischewitz Kosher Mac & Cheese, Nina shows her (almost) complete Holiday Barbie Collection, Matt builds a gingerbread man village, we finally play Jump Horse, we try the Van Leeuwen mac & cheese ice cream, and fry up some Kraft Jalapeño Balls!   Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/redcowentertainment  Merch: https://redcowentertainment.com/store/ ✅ Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYvgalxiHFL3uHANR0BC4Xg?sub_confirmation=1  Website: https://www.redcowentertainment.com  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@redcowentertainment  Twitter: https://twitter.com/redcowent  Instagram: https://instagram.com/redcowentertainment  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RedCowEntertainment ️ Red Cow Arcade: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJWaXzdM3BHjg3UYi-hyOPg  0:00 - Intro 00:00:31 - Kosher Mac 00:07:23 - Jump Horse 00:18:07 - Holiday Barbies 00:30:16 - Gingerbread Men 00:33:07 - JuntSNES Rifle 00:45:42 - Fried Mac Balls 01:02:41 - Credits

Transcript

00:00:00 What am I looking at? What am I looking at?

00:00:02 Sorry, sorry. I'm rusty. I'm rusty.

00:00:04 Hi fellow brothers in Christ!

00:00:06 Today we're going to be discussing this amazing

00:00:09 Manischewitz mac and cheese.

00:00:11 Don't judge the stranger in your midst for you too were once a stranger in the land of Egypt.

00:00:15 Let's go find out together today on Box Mac!

00:00:19 [music]

00:00:31 Look, let me just put it this way.

00:00:33 I'm in the supermarket. I'm always on the lookout for macaroni and cheeses, right?

00:00:36 Because we have a show here.

00:00:37 Yep.

00:00:38 And I come across this one that's Manischewitz.

00:00:40 It's kosher macaroni and cheese.

00:00:42 Well that might be fun to do for the holiday special, you know.

00:00:44 That's kind of festive.

00:00:46 And I thought, hey, we have somebody who is Jewish who has been on the show before.

00:00:50 Yes!

00:00:51 I know one of those!

00:00:53 Okay, so there's two types of kosher.

00:00:55 There's like regular kosher, in which I think everything in mac and cheese is like regular kosher.

00:00:59 So this must be like kosher for Passover, which means it doesn't have wheat in it maybe?

00:01:03 You want to take a look?

00:01:04 Wheat flour. Okay, so it's not kosher for Passover.

00:01:06 What? Cheese powder?

00:01:07 This is just--

00:01:08 Powsers.

00:01:09 This is just mac and cheese, man.

00:01:10 Did a rabbi bless the machine?

00:01:11 It's got the magic mark here, the U.

00:01:14 It's got a kosher mark, I just don't know.

00:01:16 There's like two different koshers in it.

00:01:17 Yeah, there's like Parv.

00:01:18 The same brand sells you matzo ball and soup mix, potato pancake mix, gluten-free noodles,

00:01:23 Tam Tam crackers.

00:01:24 You ever have Tam Tam crackers?

00:01:25 No, but I assume they're just matzo cut up into crackers probably.

00:01:28 That would have been the move.

00:01:29 A matzo ball mac and cheese.

00:01:31 Well, it sounds gross.

00:01:32 I mean, matzo balls are delicious, but like I don't know--

00:01:34 So I think this is going to cook up quick.

00:01:35 ♪ Ha-ba-na-gi-la, ha-ba-na-gi-la ♪

00:01:37 Yeah, get them doing that.

00:01:38 No, don't do that.

00:01:40 What does it even mean to be kosher?

00:01:42 So regular kosher is like a set of rules, like don't mix cheese and beef together because

00:01:46 you don't want to cook a calf in its mother's milk.

00:01:48 Historically, I think they figured out that it's probably the pig's eye trichinosis and

00:01:51 they didn't know how to cure that back then.

00:01:52 Back then, God did a lot of medical advice.

00:01:54 Yeah, yeah.

00:01:55 Oh, well, you ever read Leviticus?

00:01:56 All it is is like, don't sleep with animals, be nice to each other.

00:01:59 That's all-- there's a lot of rules in there.

00:02:01 Anyway, it's a good book though.

00:02:02 It's good.

00:02:03 It's a good rule.

00:02:04 Damn, Dad, good rule.

00:02:05 [laughter]

00:02:07 Oh, yeah.

00:02:08 And then during Passover, you're not supposed to eat like leavened bread and like certain

00:02:11 other foods that the Jews couldn't have taken with them as they were escaping Egypt.

00:02:15 Mana only.

00:02:16 Yeah, yeah, food from the heaven.

00:02:18 I don't know what that tastes like, but it's probably pretty sweet.

00:02:19 Probably pretty sweet.

00:02:20 Yeah.

00:02:21 You couldn't store it.

00:02:22 You couldn't keep it.

00:02:23 If bread rained from heaven, you had to eat it that day and then toss it.

00:02:25 You will not gather the manna on that day, but on the sixth day you will take a double

00:02:29 ration, which will not rot.

00:02:30 Did you know that?

00:02:31 No, I don't remember that part, but I'm sure it's in there.

00:02:33 That's true.

00:02:34 I was talking to God the other day and he told me to eat that bread.

00:02:36 I was talking to my wife, who has been talking to God.

00:02:39 [laughter]

00:02:40 She's been reading the Bible like cover to cover, carefully, over the course of a year.

00:02:44 Let me tell you, like, you know, like Bible in a year and all this sort of stuff.

00:02:47 I don't think anybody reads it cover to cover.

00:02:49 She was like, wow, this is pretty dense.

00:02:51 Is it weird that I was thinking about doing that lately?

00:02:52 That's so weird.

00:02:53 Really?

00:02:54 Is the end times coming?

00:02:55 Because I haven't been lied to.

00:02:56 Yeah, I'd say the end times are coming, yeah.

00:02:57 Yeah.

00:02:58 I thought you should come over one last time.

00:02:59 It's a book with so much history to it that I think it's worth a read even if you're not

00:03:02 religious.

00:03:03 Are you not supposed to mix the milk and the cheese?

00:03:04 It says add two tablespoons of unsalted butter and three tablespoons of milk.

00:03:09 Okay, I guess some milk products are okay to mix, but others aren't.

00:03:12 Can I blow your mind?

00:03:13 Okay, sure.

00:03:14 Juntile.

00:03:15 Juntile.

00:03:16 [laughter]

00:03:17 That's pretty good.

00:03:18 There's like a knot on your sweater.

00:03:19 I thought it was like a peanut or something.

00:03:20 Oh.

00:03:21 [laughter]

00:03:22 Oh, no, it is a peanut.

00:03:23 Oh, I'm wrong.

00:03:24 It's a peanut.

00:03:25 Anybody want a peanut?

00:03:26 Yeah!

00:03:27 So in the meantime here, we have a couple of pretty exciting cakes that EJ brought over.

00:03:31 Yeah, much like I thought Kirby kosher, he thought me whiskey.

00:03:35 [laughter]

00:03:37 It has nothing to do with anything.

00:03:39 Well, I was in Walmart getting this, the mac and cheese ice cream.

00:03:43 The actual one.

00:03:44 EJ made some for us last time.

00:03:45 I saw these on the way out and I was like, "Oh, I like whiskey."

00:03:49 There's a real cycle of food going on here.

00:03:51 One year, they said we have the little Debbie Christmas tree cake ice cream.

00:03:55 Couldn't find it anywhere.

00:03:56 The next year, plenty of it.

00:03:57 Same thing now with this stuff.

00:03:59 Everything is all the hotness until it's not.

00:04:00 Yes.

00:04:01 I think the moment has passed on both of those products.

00:04:03 EJ made homemade mac and cheese ice cream, which approximated this.

00:04:07 It tasted sort of like a sweet caramel.

00:04:10 It didn't have a super cheesy flavor.

00:04:12 What do you have there? The cake?

00:04:13 Yep.

00:04:14 Are you just going to eat it like a football?

00:04:15 No, I'm going to cut it up and make some little plates for us.

00:04:17 [laughter]

00:04:18 Ah!

00:04:19 Oh, it's very boozy.

00:04:22 Every Christmas.

00:04:23 You make it as boozy as you want.

00:04:25 As boozy as you want.

00:04:26 It's got a little bit of booze.

00:04:27 Oh, it's boozy.

00:04:28 It's a boozy cake.

00:04:29 I'm not a fan of the boozyness of it.

00:04:30 A very boozy fruitcake.

00:04:32 And too boozy for me.

00:04:33 That's the pecan cake, and here's our chocolate one.

00:04:35 I thought they were going to look like Twinkies or something.

00:04:38 It just smells like freaking booze.

00:04:40 It smells like my uncle, Uncle EJ.

00:04:42 I'm just not used to things just reeking like booze.

00:04:44 You're not used to EJ, but I'm fun.

00:04:46 This mac and cheese ice cream is super yellow.

00:04:48 Each a little scoop on our bizarre plates.

00:04:51 So I'm going to try the ice cream first.

00:04:52 Okay.

00:04:53 It tastes a lot more cheesy sweet than EJ's did.

00:04:55 I don't think I like it.

00:04:56 No, I don't either.

00:04:58 I think it's like too much.

00:04:59 It's got a salty layer too, to it.

00:05:00 Which his did too.

00:05:01 Yeah.

00:05:02 It's very salty, but this is too intense.

00:05:04 I like EJ's version more.

00:05:05 It tastes like butter pecan.

00:05:06 Mmm, kind of, but with no pecans.

00:05:09 Maybe they just put salt and butter pecan.

00:05:11 That's what it tastes like.

00:05:12 And coloring.

00:05:13 Yeah, I think that might be it.

00:05:14 It's not particularly cheesy.

00:05:15 The cheese doesn't really come through.

00:05:16 How about this like-

00:05:17 The whiter cake.

00:05:18 It's nice.

00:05:19 For Walmart and booze.

00:05:20 It's very boozy.

00:05:21 Oh, oh, yeah.

00:05:22 Do you need a paper towel, emergency towel?

00:05:25 How is it that I'm tolerating this?

00:05:27 It's way too boozy for me.

00:05:28 I'm mostly just getting the bread.

00:05:29 I'm going to try the chocolate one.

00:05:30 I like the chocolate one a little more.

00:05:32 Chocolate one's the same, but with a chocolate flavor.

00:05:34 But don't you find the booze strong in it?

00:05:36 Whenever you want to get drunk eating cake, go to Walmart.

00:05:38 Chocolate.

00:05:39 I wouldn't even like say it's boozy.

00:05:41 I don't know.

00:05:42 At least the chocolate.

00:05:43 It's, um, usually like chocolate mixed with booze is like really good.

00:05:47 I don't think that's that great.

00:05:48 I kind of like the pecan one.

00:05:49 I'll try the pecan one.

00:05:50 It's like more buttery, and it's got like more of a full flavor.

00:05:54 There's something about the chocolate one that falls a little flat for me.

00:05:57 The booze flavor comes through more on the chocolate one.

00:05:59 I actually like the chocolate one.

00:06:01 All right, mac and cheese ice cream.

00:06:02 Very salty.

00:06:03 Yeah, I like the one I made better because it tasted more food-like.

00:06:06 I don't mind this, actually.

00:06:08 I wouldn't eat this normally.

00:06:10 Not good normal ice cream.

00:06:12 What would you say the flavor is?

00:06:14 Creamy salt.

00:06:15 Creamy salt with a little sweetness.

00:06:18 Did you get any macaroni and cheese in it?

00:06:20 No.

00:06:21 It looks very much like your basic macaroni and cheese, EJ.

00:06:23 Fresh fork for you, custom fork for Frankie.

00:06:25 So this is the kosher mac.

00:06:26 This is our kosher mac.

00:06:27 It looks all right.

00:06:28 Really salty, kind of.

00:06:29 It's one of those esoteric store brands that's been sitting for a year.

00:06:32 The cheese gets stronger, but not better.

00:06:34 I could be delusional.

00:06:36 I'm just making up theories here.

00:06:37 The cheese tastes kind of red peppery to me.

00:06:39 So like maybe the cheese isn't cheese.

00:06:42 Maybe the cheese is like a vegan cheese to mix with the milk and not be a kosher.

00:06:46 Oh, I think it's salt.

00:06:47 Let me check.

00:06:48 How's the salt percentage?

00:06:49 It is high.

00:06:50 One serving has 30% of your daily salt.

00:06:53 All right, let's see what we got here.

00:06:55 It has real cheddar cheese, it says.

00:06:57 I don't know what makes this particularly kosher at all.

00:07:00 I think that that's Christmas and Hanukkah 2023.

00:07:03 I like that we got this guy back.

00:07:05 Yeah, I'm so happy to see him back.

00:07:06 People are starting to wonder.

00:07:07 They were like, what happened to Angry Kirby?

00:07:09 Yeah.

00:07:10 And I'm like, I don't know.

00:07:11 It's like, what happened to Baby Jane?

00:07:12 Thank you so much for coming out.

00:07:13 Thank you for making the trip.

00:07:14 Let's dance.

00:07:15 Hey, hey, hey.

00:07:23 This is probably offensive.

00:07:24 All right, so after all these years, in the back of our minds has sat one particular board game.

00:07:29 We did a Scavenger Gen, I don't know, in 2017 or something.

00:07:32 Jump Force!

00:07:34 An exciting game for the whole family.

00:07:37 So this is Jump Force.

00:07:40 I got that.

00:07:41 I don't actually know a whole lot about this item.

00:07:43 By that you mean nothing.

00:07:44 I thought this item was thrown away already.

00:07:47 If time was a continuum that you could just inspect at any point, I knew it was here.

00:07:51 Jump Force here.

00:07:52 Who did it?

00:07:53 Was it you?

00:07:54 Might have been me.

00:07:55 Is this your fault?

00:07:56 Zach dug a board game out of one of the rooms of disaster and it was Jump Horse.

00:07:59 Jump Horse.

00:08:00 Let's go with this.

00:08:01 One for the whole family.

00:08:03 We mused.

00:08:04 We said, maybe someday we'll play Jump Horse.

00:08:06 But as I sit here in front of the board game, I'm frustrated by my own commitment to the joke.

00:08:11 I try to get people to play these weird board games, no one would ever want to deal with it.

00:08:15 Nicely colored board.

00:08:16 There's a cash system as well.

00:08:18 Various tokens.

00:08:19 Jump Horse books.

00:08:20 It's like a combination of Monopoly and 3,500 other games.

00:08:23 There's even the instructions.

00:08:25 Let's play Jump Horse.

00:08:26 Famously, you love board games.

00:08:27 I do.

00:08:28 I hate board games.

00:08:29 Not only that, but this looks like a pretty terrible board game.

00:08:32 But the rules seem so simple.

00:08:34 Beforehand, John read all the rules to us as the other three passed out.

00:08:38 The object of the game is to be the first player with 10 blue ribbons and $10,000.

00:08:43 We're using the short games, we're cutting that to five ribbons and $5,000.

00:08:46 You start in the warm-up area and roll the dice and proceed to move the horse in the arrow direction.

00:08:50 Well, as long as one of us knows how to approximately run the game, it'll be okay.

00:08:54 Do you know how this got into your house?

00:08:56 I do not.

00:08:58 It has a 75 cent tag on it, which means that someone picked it up at a yard sale.

00:09:02 I see that there was a dollar price tag on the corner at one point.

00:09:05 Yes, and then it was then downgraded to 75 cents.

00:09:10 By EquiPlay, and we were trying to figure out, is EquiPlay like Equine Play?

00:09:15 So you get like horse dollars?

00:09:16 Yes.

00:09:17 It sure seems to be Monopoly.

00:09:19 It's very close to Monopoly, but there's only four properties.

00:09:22 What's the narrative?

00:09:23 We're all like horse jumping enthusiasts.

00:09:27 No, we are clearly the horses, John.

00:09:29 We are the horses going through a tournament.

00:09:32 Oh, we're the horses?

00:09:33 Yes, they're on the pieces.

00:09:34 And he makes a good point because like horses are on the money, so maybe it's a horse--

00:09:39 It's a horse world.

00:09:40 Imagine if horses were living things, you know?

00:09:43 And this is just what horses do in their own horse world.

00:09:45 They have human judges that says judge says.

00:09:47 Yeah.

00:09:48 They go to the hospital, but they're an outpatient.

00:09:50 Or they coexist with humans.

00:09:51 It's otherwise the normal world, but horses are--

00:09:53 This is the BoJack Horseman world.

00:09:55 We're going to try to play this, and it is basically modified Monopoly is what it seems.

00:09:59 This is obviously a game made for kids who love horses.

00:10:01 But there's no ponies or like pretty-- There's no girl--

00:10:04 This is for guys who like ponies.

00:10:06 There's no appealing imagery besides generic, lousy cartoon horses.

00:10:10 I think it's going to be just a marvelous time.

00:10:12 I want to get through it.

00:10:14 We're playing the shortened game rules today.

00:10:16 We're going to roll the dice to see who goes first.

00:10:18 I got nine.

00:10:19 He's using D&D dice.

00:10:20 Because the original dice are missing.

00:10:22 So you go first, Frankie, and advance that number of spaces with your chosen horse.

00:10:26 Eight.

00:10:27 Great jumps advance to the second course.

00:10:29 You get to go all the way over here, Frankie.

00:10:31 Look at that progress.

00:10:32 Wow. Amazing.

00:10:33 When do I spend money?

00:10:34 Not yet, but maybe soon.

00:10:35 Okay.

00:10:36 I'm going to go now.

00:10:37 All right. I've got five.

00:10:38 I lose a turn.

00:10:39 A horse gets a rock in shoe.

00:10:42 Are there YouTube channels where they play board games?

00:10:44 There must be.

00:10:45 Do people want to watch that?

00:10:46 Which color were you?

00:10:47 Three, blue.

00:10:48 One, two, three.

00:10:49 First course start.

00:10:50 You're going to be doing some jumping, sir.

00:10:51 So put on your galoshes.

00:10:52 Why don't you roll the dice.

00:10:54 And three, you clear the jump.

00:10:57 Okay.

00:10:59 I don't understand what just happened.

00:11:01 So you landed on the first course, right?

00:11:03 And then you have to engage in jumping activity and make it over the jumps.

00:11:07 And he did that by doing what?

00:11:08 By rolling a single dice and we consult this little table here.

00:11:11 Ah, okay.

00:11:12 Clear jump, which means you just go to the next.

00:11:14 Why do horses have to be put down when they break a leg?

00:11:16 I don't get it.

00:11:17 Because they can't stand on three legs.

00:11:18 Oh, good.

00:11:19 I'm already shelling out money.

00:11:20 Oh, $50 to the bank?

00:11:22 Well, thank you.

00:11:23 Why can't you fix their leg?

00:11:24 Their legs can't heal.

00:11:25 I feel like that's a lie.

00:11:27 I feel like that's like somebody, like it's too expensive to, like,

00:11:30 not have this horse walking around.

00:11:31 We have to have him walking around.

00:11:33 I mean, I guess you could put it in a sling.

00:11:35 What animal has bones that don't heal if big horses lie to us?

00:11:39 Nine.

00:11:40 I'm getting these big rolls.

00:11:41 Nine.

00:11:42 In your middle of the jump course, you roll a single dice.

00:11:44 Five.

00:11:45 Five.

00:11:46 Refusal.

00:11:47 You start over to the start of the second course.

00:11:48 Sorry, Frankie.

00:11:49 All right.

00:11:50 Meanwhile, over here, I've lost a turn, so I can't go.

00:11:52 When do the sentient horse people invent government?

00:11:54 You also have lost a turn, too.

00:11:56 Ten.

00:11:57 Nine.

00:11:58 Ten.

00:11:59 Pay the horse for $300, Zach.

00:12:00 Aren't we having just a grand old time?

00:12:02 It's somehow already my turn again.

00:12:04 Eleven.

00:12:05 Eleven.

00:12:06 What does it say, EJ?

00:12:07 Blacksmith price $1,000.

00:12:09 You can buy the blacksmith.

00:12:10 Hell, yeah, I'll buy the blacksmith.

00:12:12 Now if anybody lands on that, you make a sweet, tidy profit.

00:12:15 Where's the horse bitcoin?

00:12:16 Why is there a horse monopoly?

00:12:17 What the hell is this horse monopoly?

00:12:19 Have you ever seen on Shark Tank whenever they pitch a board game,

00:12:22 it's always like lunatics.

00:12:23 They're like, "It's a board game.

00:12:24 It's going to be the biggest thing in the world.

00:12:25 Kids love board games.

00:12:26 I don't care if it's 2023.

00:12:27 They're going to play board games with the horses.

00:12:29 The horses have money."

00:12:30 There are board game people.

00:12:31 Yeah, there are board game people.

00:12:32 Yeah, yeah.

00:12:33 John, what's your favorite board game?

00:12:35 I'm not discussing the topic at this time.

00:12:37 Tell me a board game you like.

00:12:39 Uh, do you play board games?

00:12:43 Ooh, doubles.

00:12:44 There was something special that happens when you get doubles.

00:12:46 Yeah.

00:12:47 You get another turn.

00:12:48 Great jumps.

00:12:49 Advance the next course.

00:12:50 Start fourth course.

00:12:52 You get to go again.

00:12:53 Frankie's zooming around the board here.

00:12:55 God knows I want to get out of here.

00:12:56 Clear jump.

00:12:57 Clear jump.

00:12:58 You clear the jump.

00:12:59 I jumped horse.

00:13:00 No, you stay on.

00:13:01 Oh, sorry.

00:13:02 Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

00:13:03 We're horse bucks you off.

00:13:04 Go to the hospital.

00:13:05 Where's the horse-pital?

00:13:06 Horse-pital.

00:13:07 Horse-pital.

00:13:08 Horse-pital.

00:13:09 Horse-pital.

00:13:10 Pay $200 edus.

00:13:12 200 mazoolias?

00:13:14 15,000 mazoolians.

00:13:16 Holy schlamola.

00:13:18 What are you going to do with all that kablingi?

00:13:20 I have to pay everybody 200 bucks?

00:13:21 Yeah.

00:13:22 We didn't want to be mad at you, so we took all your money.

00:13:24 Well, we hated being mad at you, Homer, so we decided to make things right.

00:13:28 I do like that it's simple.

00:13:29 Yes.

00:13:30 You get a blue ribbon, Frankie.

00:13:32 If you get five, you win the game.

00:13:34 And you have to have $5,000, too.

00:13:35 Oh, I better start counting.

00:13:37 Five blue ribbons and $5,000 edus.

00:13:39 We're going to be here all day?

00:13:40 And that's the reduced rules.

00:13:41 Because it's normally 10 and 10.

00:13:43 '94 was a long year.

00:13:45 Nine.

00:13:46 Well, I lost a turn because I'm at the hospital.

00:13:48 Oh, that's right.

00:13:49 How's your cash supply, Frankie?

00:13:50 I think it's pretty close to $5,000.

00:13:52 Advanced to second course?

00:13:53 Wow, Frankie's just flying.

00:13:54 We've been here before.

00:13:55 Horse rears, you fall off.

00:13:57 Go to hospital.

00:13:58 Horse-piddle.

00:13:59 Oh, horse-piddle.

00:14:00 Can I buy the horse-piddle?

00:14:01 You can't buy the horse-piddle.

00:14:02 You can buy the tack shop if you want.

00:14:04 Horse.

00:14:05 Horse-piddle.

00:14:06 You've got to go to the horse-piddle.

00:14:07 Because you're feeling a little horse.

00:14:08 Eight, nine, ten.

00:14:09 Paying 200 bucks to each player?

00:14:11 How am I supposed to get the $5,000?

00:14:13 Is this game good, yay or nay?

00:14:15 Nay.

00:14:16 Hold your horses there, Frankie.

00:14:18 I just like the way it bucks a trend.

00:14:20 Our first judge says tax refund for the horse farm.

00:14:24 Collect a grand.

00:14:25 Have you won yet?

00:14:26 If I were to find people at Monopoly, I'd sue.

00:14:28 The game is just different enough to be not infringing.

00:14:31 Test positive for drugs.

00:14:33 Return ribbon.

00:14:34 You do not get this course.

00:14:35 You do not get this ribbon.

00:14:36 That whole round was ignored, Zach, because your horse got drug in it.

00:14:39 That's pretty dark for a kids game about horses.

00:14:42 Yeah, the horse tested positive for steroids.

00:14:44 F***ing horse-piddle.

00:14:46 Back to the horse-piddle.

00:14:48 This game is quickly going to become who can roll the highest die wins immediately.

00:14:51 Get out of hospital.

00:14:53 Can I keep this?

00:14:54 You can.

00:14:55 It's like a get out of jail card from another unnamed game.

00:14:57 Oh, no, I lost a turn because I'm in the f***ing hospital.

00:15:01 You're in the horse-piddle.

00:15:02 Four, five, six, the same exact thing.

00:15:04 Roll a jump.

00:15:05 Three.

00:15:06 You succeed.

00:15:07 Roll again.

00:15:09 Collect $400.

00:15:11 Nice.

00:15:12 Back to Zach.

00:15:13 Judge says get out of hospital.

00:15:15 There are humans that get out of hospital?

00:15:17 I guess you are a human.

00:15:18 I've been in a hospital loop.

00:15:20 The same one, too.

00:15:21 Go to the horse-piddle.

00:15:22 Whoever gets the two ribbons and who cares about how much money you have.

00:15:26 You're done, yeah.

00:15:28 So whoever gets two ribbons.

00:15:29 Go to the horse-piddle.

00:15:31 Whoever goes to the horse-piddle again.

00:15:33 Vet clinic.

00:15:34 Price.

00:15:35 $1,500.

00:15:36 Why does it say lose one turn?

00:15:38 Pay owner $200.

00:15:39 No, if you land on it after the fact.

00:15:42 Then you would make the $200.

00:15:43 It would take a while to make back that $1,500.

00:15:45 I'm buying.

00:15:46 A multi-hour game before you're--

00:15:48 I'm buying it.

00:15:49 The bank is happy to take your money.

00:15:50 I think the game is flawed.

00:15:51 I think it sends you in a circle.

00:15:53 But then why is it a beloved classic that everyone has?

00:15:56 Don't you agree that most board games are this problem?

00:16:00 They just send you in a freaking circle?

00:16:02 Well, I think you're supposed to socialize more, not just be like-- I think.

00:16:05 Not just try to speed run it?

00:16:07 Look, this board game is not fun.

00:16:09 It's categorically not fun.

00:16:11 Seven, what is that?

00:16:12 You can buy a thing for $2,000.

00:16:14 Let's do it.

00:16:15 You bought the tack shop.

00:16:17 Yeah, I am the government.

00:16:19 Sold a horse for $4,000.

00:16:21 Holy shit.

00:16:22 [LAUGHTER]

00:16:24 I got like $5,000.

00:16:26 I just need five ribbons now.

00:16:28 OK, whoever gets two ribbons or five then.

00:16:31 We've been dealing at like $50 to like $300.

00:16:34 And he just gets $4,000 out of nowhere.

00:16:36 I sold a drunk horse.

00:16:38 Holy shit.

00:16:40 Prize, $1,000.

00:16:42 Come on, buy a property, Frankie.

00:16:43 No way.

00:16:44 You own that property.

00:16:45 That's yours.

00:16:46 Oh, so I get an extra $1,000.

00:16:47 You don't get anything.

00:16:48 9, 10, 11.

00:16:49 Put me in the corner, please, Zach.

00:16:50 And do your sick jump.

00:16:52 The sick jump is I knocked down the rail.

00:16:54 Give me the piece back.

00:16:55 Don't you think we should call it?

00:16:57 Do we get it?

00:16:58 The winner is me and Zach.

00:16:59 He's got over $5,000.

00:17:01 I got one ribbon.

00:17:02 How long do you think it would take before even one of you got a ribbon?

00:17:06 There's way too many hospital spaces.

00:17:08 And imagine playing to 10 ribbons.

00:17:09 This would be like an hour and a half excursion.

00:17:11 Are you going to throw it out?

00:17:12 It's going to be longer than an hour.

00:17:13 Right in the trash?

00:17:14 Should we auction it off?

00:17:15 It's a really lousy board game.

00:17:17 When you have a board game night, do you ever encounter one?

00:17:19 And you're like, oh, jeez.

00:17:20 Yeah, and we played them once and never again.

00:17:22 You could tell by the condition of this game being from 1994.

00:17:24 It was played one time and put away.

00:17:26 All the cards are in beautiful condition.

00:17:28 Somebody took the dice to play Monopoly.

00:17:30 And you can tell somebody was in the hospital a lot.

00:17:33 I'm so glad we finally got to give it a try.

00:17:35 Yeah, stay away from board games.

00:17:36 I bet the board is spelled B-O-R-E-D.

00:17:39 [laughter]

00:17:41 Should we not have fun?

00:17:42 You're like, how dare I have fun with others?

00:17:44 You're supposed to play this sort of thing with a family, right?

00:17:46 My six-year-old would throw up by how boring this is.

00:17:50 You think some executive was like, make it more like Monopoly.

00:17:53 It needs money.

00:17:54 It needs money and property.

00:17:55 If your kid went around the entire board like I did,

00:17:57 and then your horse tested positive for drugs,

00:18:00 and you lose your [bleep]

00:18:01 That's what all the hospital spaces are.

00:18:03 Just go back and wait.

00:18:05 That's what that horse life is.

00:18:07 [horse neighing]

00:18:08 Get it out of here.

00:18:09 [clapping]

00:18:12 So gentlemen, this is my Christmas collection.

00:18:14 I don't have the video game collections that you guys have talked about seasons past.

00:18:19 So when I was growing up, my parents thought that holiday Barbies were going to be worth something.

00:18:24 And kind of like Beanie Babies or Cabbage Patch Dolls,

00:18:27 maybe they were at one point, they're not now.

00:18:29 But this is what they started making, holiday Barbies, in 1988.

00:18:34 And my aunt started collecting them for me in 1990.

00:18:37 So these are going to be Gloria's now.

00:18:39 Oh, you're gifting them.

00:18:40 This is your future dowry.

00:18:41 And she's never seen most of these before.

00:18:43 So starting off with 1990, the tag on it says "The Toy Works."

00:18:48 Originally $39.99 for $29.99.

00:18:52 And she is still living in the '80s.

00:18:54 She's pretty, but I feel like inside she's a little bit selfish.

00:18:58 I don't like people who are like too pretty

00:19:01 because I feel like they're just trying to take over someone else.

00:19:04 That's what was going on in the '90s.

00:19:06 Everyone was pretty, but inside they were a little bit selfish.

00:19:09 So then this one was actually from Walmart back in 1991.

00:19:14 I feel like she's a little bit nicer, but I feel like to the other Barbies,

00:19:17 she's trying to be nice. I feel like she's trying to be nice.

00:19:20 I think her mom is like, "I don't want you to be nice."

00:19:23 And I think she's just doing what her mom told her to.

00:19:26 I think the mom is a little bit mean to her.

00:19:29 Do you think all the dolls are jealous of each other

00:19:31 because they're all trying to be the prettiest?

00:19:33 Basically. Can I show you what one I think is the nicest?

00:19:36 Which one? It's in the back.

00:19:38 Oh, we're going to get to those. This one. It's this one right here.

00:19:41 The snow globe one.

00:19:43 And you don't think it makes a difference that it's all exactly the same person?

00:19:45 How can you be jealous of yourself in a different year?

00:19:47 Here we have a 1992 Bradleys,

00:19:49 and it's very much like the architecture of the time.

00:19:51 Like look at how chic she is.

00:19:53 I bet her and Ken are dinks

00:19:55 and they just celebrate every Christmas Eve with champagne.

00:19:58 That is a spoiled brat.

00:20:00 That's badder than this one.

00:20:02 This one is really bad.

00:20:04 So this is 1993.

00:20:06 All the Barbies, of course, ladies will know, came with these giant brushes.

00:20:09 And this one actually has no shoes, though.

00:20:11 Usually the full outfits come with shoes.

00:20:13 I'm really enjoying the miniatures on some of these sets in the back.

00:20:16 The stairway.

00:20:18 In the background of one of these, it was like a New York apartment.

00:20:20 So here we go. They're like Christmas.

00:20:22 And if you look at the back picture, it's really like white Christmas.

00:20:25 Does this one have its own name?

00:20:27 Like Barbie, Christmas Barbie, Snow Queen Barbie, Fairy Princess Barbie?

00:20:30 I think they're all Happy Holidays Barbie.

00:20:32 She feels like a sister to the one that the mom was mean to her, so she's mean.

00:20:37 She's got a mean mom, too.

00:20:39 All the same person.

00:20:40 We've simplified our packaging a little bit.

00:20:42 We're not the elaborate diamond shape. Now we're like the half.

00:20:44 Does it go back and forth?

00:20:46 I'm going chronologically. This is 1995.

00:20:48 It's very Scarlett O'Hara, gone with the wind.

00:20:50 Okay, that looks like Mrs. Claus,

00:20:52 but she's too much like Santa Claus.

00:20:55 Like Mrs. Claus, but too much like Santa Claus.

00:20:57 And in 1995, it would cost you $39.99 at Bradley's.

00:21:00 1996. So some of them are dressed for cold weather, and some are not.

00:21:04 Maybe Russian Princess Barbie?

00:21:06 Oh, yeah. Oh, Anastasia.

00:21:07 I almost really like that one, except for the color of the dress.

00:21:10 I think the maroon's a little too dark.

00:21:11 When I think of velvet, I think of that color exactly.

00:21:13 Okay, that is a nice girl who is probably my best friend, Bella.

00:21:20 This one gets full approval.

00:21:22 1997, got a little wild.

00:21:24 So some of them used to come in a dark-skinned version and a light-skinned version.

00:21:29 The light-skinned version was either brown hair or blonde.

00:21:31 They didn't have different ones.

00:21:33 Then as time goes on, you'll get like three or four different choices.

00:21:36 She was from Benny's.

00:21:38 How did you feel about these when you acquired them as a youth?

00:21:41 I was super upset that I wasn't allowed to play with them.

00:21:43 Can I open them up when you give them to me?

00:21:46 You can open up all of them, because they are worth no money.

00:21:49 I want the snow globe one, and I want to really play with that one.

00:21:52 But how about this ribbon queen?

00:21:55 Uh-uh-uh.

00:21:57 Okay, put her down here.

00:21:59 All the bad ones go down here, and all the good ones go up here.

00:22:03 I would unwrap them on Christmas Day, and then I was told I couldn't play with them,

00:22:05 and they went away until we had a cedar closet.

00:22:07 My relatives would catch on, and my aunts or my godmother would then get me one that I could open on Christmas Day.

00:22:14 So I had four or five of these in multiple that I could play with.

00:22:18 This one is mac and cheese.

00:22:20 It's not.

00:22:21 Then why did we put it on the show?

00:22:23 The show is called Box...Mack.

00:22:26 Mack stands for Mac and Cheese.

00:22:28 This is the Red Cow Holiday Special.

00:22:30 1998.

00:22:31 I don't care for it at all.

00:22:32 I was 12 years old.

00:22:33 I do.

00:22:34 That goes in the good pile.

00:22:35 That could have been my best friend Bella too.

00:22:37 Okay, let's put that one in my best friend pile.

00:22:41 She came from Ames.

00:22:42 Your best friend was an Ames doll.

00:22:44 This looks more like a New Year's Eve kind of theme instead of Christmas.

00:22:47 No 1999?

00:22:49 So this is our first missing one.

00:22:51 I don't know what happened.

00:22:52 When I was 13, my parents did not love me.

00:22:55 They did not get me that one.

00:22:56 How can you expect to get top dollar without a full set?

00:22:59 We jumped right to 2000.

00:23:01 Y2K.

00:23:02 This is how you party.

00:23:03 With matching ornament.

00:23:04 Is it a purse? Does it open up? Or is it just...

00:23:06 I think it's just an ornament.

00:23:07 Matt makes a good point. Look how dark her lipstick is.

00:23:09 She's going for something else.

00:23:10 Superstar on the dance floor. Yeah, I approve.

00:23:14 Superstar on the dance floor, approved.

00:23:16 I was going to say I don't like the inverse round moon package.

00:23:19 No, I don't either.

00:23:20 It should be rounded in the front, not the back.

00:23:22 I prefer the rounded front.

00:23:23 Alright, 2001.

00:23:24 A space odyssey. A Barbie odyssey.

00:23:26 That wrap makes her really look like a queen.

00:23:28 I approve of that one.

00:23:29 Frankie, would you ever date a woman wearing something like that?

00:23:31 Yes.

00:23:32 2002. We go back to the velvet Scarlett O'Hara coming down the stairs.

00:23:36 Very stylish.

00:23:37 She gets a little purse.

00:23:38 I'm reading vampire with this one.

00:23:40 Approved or not approved?

00:23:42 Some vampires can be good, right?

00:23:43 Bad vampire.

00:23:44 2004. We start getting some motion in the box.

00:23:49 That's interesting.

00:23:50 And it's not even part of the Barbie. It's just packaging decor.

00:23:52 Let me just say I really dislike her makeup.

00:23:55 Oh, the look on her face is like...

00:23:56 It's a bit heroin chic.

00:23:57 Oh, but she has real eyelashes hanging off her face.

00:24:00 They're a bit self-aware. They're like, join the tradition, and they've got a whole retrospective.

00:24:04 What?

00:24:05 Here's the 1999.

00:24:06 How did you miss?

00:24:07 I still can't get over the resting Grinch face.

00:24:09 That's another one that we missed. 2003.

00:24:12 Anyone who was wondering what she looked like.

00:24:14 She's in the dislike pile, right?

00:24:15 But can I keep the box?

00:24:18 Also, I'm sitting in the dislike pile. I'm going to give to my children.

00:24:22 Because I hate them.

00:24:24 And I will become the bad mother.

00:24:26 2005 looks like a visiting dignitary.

00:24:28 I'm going to put that in the good-looking pile.

00:24:31 The 2000s were not a great time for Barbies.

00:24:34 Who did it? Is it Bob Mackie?

00:24:36 Yes, Bob Mackie starts doing the next couple.

00:24:38 I mean, who else, really?

00:24:39 Where does she fall?

00:24:40 I said in the good pile.

00:24:41 Do you think she's committed any war crimes?

00:24:43 She has diplomatic immunity.

00:24:44 Yes, she has diplomatic immunity.

00:24:45 This next one is a departure.

00:24:47 It's a Bob Mackie, and they got weird with the hair.

00:24:50 And she's already getting ewes from Barb.

00:24:52 She's already getting ewes?

00:24:53 How long does that outfit take to get on and that look?

00:24:56 A whole day?

00:24:57 Entire day.

00:24:58 24 hours.

00:24:59 The entire day?

00:25:00 I think getting the dress on would be pretty easy, but maybe the hair and the makeup.

00:25:03 I don't like any hairstyle that's like, pull it back.

00:25:06 Dislike pile.

00:25:08 She's a good guy, but she's scary to me.

00:25:12 Alright, 2007.

00:25:14 They were like, we need to bring this back.

00:25:16 We need to make this Christmassy again.

00:25:17 Bob Mackie may have gone too far in some places.

00:25:19 I may have gone too far in a few places.

00:25:21 She's kind of pretty.

00:25:22 She's like Mrs. Claus, right?

00:25:23 I don't know which of her tricks he into.

00:25:25 She has gloves. Has anyone else had gloves yet?

00:25:27 Does everyone have brown gloves?

00:25:29 Oh, dude, dude, dude.

00:25:30 One more little piece to lose.

00:25:32 She's one of those Disney princesses that wasn't born a princess, so they get gloves.

00:25:35 She married into royalty.

00:25:37 2008. We've got more of that box decoration.

00:25:40 She's evil, she's evil. Put her in the dislike pile.

00:25:43 She is evil.

00:25:44 They stopped showcasing the designer and they've gone back to, this is the life you could lead if you were this Barbie.

00:25:49 Just walk around your apartment all day long wearing this.

00:25:52 You're desperate to get her in the bad pile, aren't you?

00:25:54 2009. This doesn't read holiday.

00:25:57 This is like 50s prom day.

00:25:58 She looks like such an unpleasant woman to be around.

00:26:00 2009 holiday Barbie, wrapped in a pink shiny bow.

00:26:05 Beautiful.

00:26:06 I'm going to put her in the dislike pile because of this like brush going up.

00:26:10 I don't really like that.

00:26:11 All right. 2009.

00:26:13 That's when my mother decided you're old enough now.

00:26:16 To buy your own over here.

00:26:17 If you want more of these at 26 years old or however I was.

00:26:21 At 26.

00:26:22 And I did not.

00:26:23 I did not keep up with the tradition.

00:26:25 So there is a hole from 2009 to 2015.

00:26:29 But yet, Nita, at some point you decided to re-engage with this trend.

00:26:32 2017.

00:26:33 Yep.

00:26:34 And I was like, oh, I should get the missing years.

00:26:36 But I only backed up two years.

00:26:38 We've got the in-box decoration.

00:26:40 She's a little bit more classic.

00:26:41 I kind of like the way she's like, I'll take on anything.

00:26:44 Give it to me and I will deal with the problem.

00:26:46 She's a modern lady.

00:26:47 Like pile, like pile, like.

00:26:50 Now this is the weirdest box.

00:26:52 That's, wait, that's my favorite one.

00:26:54 I'm glad you like it.

00:26:55 But look, it's weird.

00:26:56 Her top is plastic.

00:26:57 She has like soft skin.

00:26:59 She's a good lady.

00:27:01 I mean, please put that at the very top and like.

00:27:03 At the very top.

00:27:04 She does have what Matt liked, which is that assertive chin up.

00:27:08 This one has a Taylor Swift sensibility.

00:27:10 Oh, very much so.

00:27:11 Okay, I think she wasn't in this big pile.

00:27:14 The star is a little too much.

00:27:16 The dress is too like shiny.

00:27:18 Is she showing too much leg?

00:27:20 Yeah, kind of.

00:27:21 Oh, so here you can showcase some of, so this is when you do have more options.

00:27:26 Is it all Barbie or is this like a.

00:27:28 They're all Barbie.

00:27:29 That's not like Skipper and Angelina or anything.

00:27:31 2018, she's got some of that Southern Belle.

00:27:34 I don't like the eye shadow though.

00:27:36 She's got a little bit of a Harley Quinn vibe going on.

00:27:38 2019, so this is where Gloria actually had some of the doubles herself.

00:27:43 Her grandmother purchased some for her to play with.

00:27:46 And I got the box that I never showed her because I wasn't going to do what my mom did to me.

00:27:49 I just bought them and stuck them in the basement.

00:27:51 What do you think about this one in the like pile?

00:27:53 Because you actually, what do you think about playing with her?

00:27:55 Would you ever wear any of these dresses?

00:28:00 I'd wear this dress.

00:28:01 This one, of course.

00:28:02 Yes.

00:28:03 I'm really digging that peppermint design.

00:28:04 To me, it evokes barber pole, to be honest.

00:28:06 Clean shaven Barbie.

00:28:07 Barbie pole.

00:28:08 [Laughter]

00:28:09 [Music]

00:28:11 2020, she doesn't look like she's been at home all year.

00:28:14 She's not wearing a mask.

00:28:15 That's the first thing I noticed.

00:28:16 Would it be made out of gold and metallic?

00:28:18 That could be her little accessory hanging off her.

00:28:20 That would be a little too commentary for Barbie, I think.

00:28:21 Where's the tax the rich one?

00:28:23 [Laughter]

00:28:24 2021, she comes back with the plastic bodice.

00:28:27 Very Beyonce looking.

00:28:28 Looks kind of like super Marvel's kind of like an outfit that they would wear.

00:28:32 This is another one that you've gotten to play with.

00:28:34 You had a double of this.

00:28:36 Because I've played with this one with you.

00:28:37 This piece keeps popping off.

00:28:39 It comes in two pieces.

00:28:40 There's a seam on either side.

00:28:41 And there's a front plate and a back plate.

00:28:43 And they don't stay on.

00:28:45 Does she have a brassiere underneath?

00:28:47 Yes, she has the dress kind of continues.

00:28:49 Okay, okay.

00:28:50 Just as long as we're not, you know, popping out in public.

00:28:52 And last year, 2022, I think she's elegant.

00:28:55 It looks like petals of a poinsettia.

00:28:57 It wasn't that long ago.

00:28:58 It was last year.

00:28:59 So out of the Barbies, we have 13 in the like pile.

00:29:02 And these are all the selfish, spoiled ones with bad mothers who make them behave badly to their friends.

00:29:08 These were all collected for me.

00:29:10 I relocated them when I moved from my childhood home to my current home.

00:29:14 And I packed them all up in bags.

00:29:16 And they were bags that I took from work.

00:29:18 And they were biohazard bags, yellow biohazard bags.

00:29:21 Big red markings on them.

00:29:23 And they sat in those in the basement.

00:29:24 And I love having them.

00:29:25 I do love having them.

00:29:26 They don't have as much value as my parents were hoping.

00:29:29 There's a lot of like different design elements that I really enjoy.

00:29:33 I think I like the ones that are bundled up.

00:29:35 The big coats.

00:29:36 I like the one with the arm muff.

00:29:37 How come they don't have one like nice holiday sweats, you know?

00:29:40 That should have been the 2020, a matching lounge set.

00:29:43 The Lulu edition.

00:29:44 In terms of dresses, I like Glorious for the dress, but that's not the most Christmassy.

00:29:48 My favorite Christmassy one are some of the ones where she looks like Mama Claus.

00:29:51 That classic Christmas look.

00:29:53 Well, I must say, Nina, this is a very impressive collection.

00:29:56 With a young child in the house, you've managed to keep all of them sealed and mint condition.

00:30:01 You know what was interesting?

00:30:02 So I was looking up the prices of them.

00:30:04 And yeah, they're all in the tens of dollars.

00:30:06 Like $20 to $50.

00:30:08 But some of the more expensive ones are like 2017.

00:30:12 People wanting to go back, you know, a few years.

00:30:15 Versus the ones all the way back to when I was a kid.

00:30:17 People no longer care.

00:30:18 Always a good indicator of how much work I put into something

00:30:21 is how big the bags under my eyes are.

00:30:23 Because it means I stayed up all night the night before.

00:30:25 What the heck?

00:30:27 Don't look yet. Are you already looking?

00:30:28 Yeah, I'm looking.

00:30:29 Wow.

00:30:32 Every little last detail.

00:30:34 Is the frosting real?

00:30:35 Oh, is the frosting real?

00:30:36 No.

00:30:37 It'll be the last cookie you ever eat.

00:30:38 The giant plug and lights are obviously the...

00:30:40 The main attraction.

00:30:41 The main attraction.

00:30:42 I love those. Those came out really nice, Matt.

00:30:44 What are these light bulbs? How?

00:30:46 I put a lot of work into it, so I can't really take credit for any.

00:30:48 This is just online tutorials I saw.

00:30:50 The gingerbread men are big sheets of pink insulator foam

00:30:54 that you would find at Home Depot.

00:30:56 And I took a jigsaw cutter and cut out the shape.

00:30:58 And I wanted each one to look a little different.

00:31:00 So I took some liberties.

00:31:02 I think it looks perfect as frosting.

00:31:04 The middle one, styrofoam balls.

00:31:06 And I actually put sprinkles on it and put a ceiling on it.

00:31:08 The eyes and mouth are the same foam as this.

00:31:11 I just cut it and painted it to look like donuts.

00:31:14 The peppermint one, I couldn't find the right kind of rope

00:31:18 but I wanted to make it look like peppermint.

00:31:20 So I found yarn and I actually sat there and spun it to make it look like peppermint.

00:31:25 Lined the edge.

00:31:26 And then the peppermint buttons are more styrofoam painted.

00:31:29 The lights here.

00:31:30 So you buy a string of patio lights.

00:31:33 You line them with a pipe insulator.

00:31:35 These are all soda bottles that have been cut up.

00:31:38 The base of it is just like a container.

00:31:40 Spray painted everything.

00:31:41 It's a trash can.

00:31:43 The actual tutorial called for wood pieces to make it more permanent

00:31:47 but I said I'm not going to get a saw involved so it's just all cardboard.

00:31:49 Are we meant to feel as though we're in the land of the gingerbread people

00:31:52 that we've been shrunk down or are they oversized?

00:31:55 It is kind of just like big stuff that already exists.

00:31:57 Is it that we're small or is it that they're big?

00:32:01 Can it be both?

00:32:02 My favorite is this one because it looks like he's going to be like,

00:32:04 "I'm going to eat your soul!"

00:32:06 The donut guy looked a little more crazy too because his mouth was just a third donut.

00:32:10 What was the character from Saturday Night Live, Mr. Bill?

00:32:13 Oh no!

00:32:14 Nina, there's this particular kind of gingerbread man lawn ornament.

00:32:17 She loves these things.

00:32:19 The lawn ornaments are meant to age and become weathered and dry rot

00:32:23 and look old and decrepit.

00:32:25 These already look like that.

00:32:26 For most of the year they'll probably just live in my hallway.

00:32:28 But it is very on trend.

00:32:29 Right now there's a very popular thing.

00:32:31 I think it's Walmart has those blow molds that you're talking about.

00:32:34 Mickey and Minnie gingerbread.

00:32:36 People can't find them.

00:32:37 They're selling out everywhere.

00:32:38 Hey, come to me.

00:32:39 I'll make them for you.

00:32:40 I really like the lights.

00:32:41 The lights are my favorite by far.

00:32:42 One thing that's kind of weird in the design is that it's Christmas lights

00:32:45 that are lit up but it's unplugged.

00:32:47 It's daisy chained.

00:32:48 You can make some paper fire, have an electric fire.

00:32:50 Remember in the--

00:32:51 Christmas electric fire.

00:32:52 In the 90s everything was always like more power.

00:32:56 It needs to be the biggest light display ever.

00:32:58 Ah, ah, ah, ah.

00:32:59 I did get really Tim Allen vibes from this.

00:33:02 Ah, ah, ah.

00:33:03 I don't think so.

00:33:04 I don't know about that, Tim.

00:33:05 Do not look directly into the Jesus.

00:33:07 [laughter]

00:33:09 [music]

00:33:14 Do you ever have a show called Juntsnest?

00:33:15 I do.

00:33:16 It's one of my all-time favorite things that we've made.

00:33:18 I have 624 individual cards, 74% of all Super Nintendo USA releases.

00:33:24 Juntsnest.

00:33:25 Juntsnest.

00:33:26 Juntsnest.

00:33:28 Frankie, today we're talking about one of the rarest pieces in my Super Nintendo

00:33:32 collection, the Max Gun with the Super Nintendo cable on it.

00:33:36 It's a Jaeger.

00:33:37 We were calling it a Jagger, I think.

00:33:39 I think it's actually a real-- it's a Jagger.

00:33:42 What is it?

00:33:43 Jagger AP-74.

00:33:45 We certainly didn't know how to fire it.

00:33:47 No.

00:33:48 I have never in my life fired a real gun.

00:33:50 And this is heavy like a real gun.

00:33:52 It's a hip shot.

00:33:53 You don't want to do that.

00:33:54 The way I've seen it demonstrated is you kneel down and you've got the gun up on

00:33:58 your shoulder because you're sighting through the sight, which is right up here.

00:34:03 So I'm a right-handed guy, so I guess like this?

00:34:05 Yeah.

00:34:06 I would say on a monthly basis I continue to receive comments on YouTube,

00:34:11 "How could it be that this person doesn't know how to hold a gun?"

00:34:14 In my defense, never fired a gun before.

00:34:17 I also thought I was playing a video game, so I was just kind of like doing

00:34:20 whatever.

00:34:21 The part they laugh at me the most is I put it over my shoulder.

00:34:24 Like a bazooka or something.

00:34:25 Like a bazooka.

00:34:26 You kneel down and you've got the gun up on your shoulder.

00:34:30 You don't want the butt of the rifle resting on your shoulder.

00:34:35 You want it into your shoulder.

00:34:37 Into my shoulder?

00:34:38 Yeah.

00:34:39 Okay, that helps.

00:34:40 I've never done this before.

00:34:43 Later in the show we tried again.

00:34:44 We brought in more people.

00:34:45 You try, you try.

00:34:46 You're never going to shot the register on the screen.

00:34:52 Invalid shot group.

00:34:53 What does that mean?

00:34:54 It means you're completely missing the targets, I think.

00:35:01 Can you point the TV at me more centrally?

00:35:03 Invalid shot group.

00:35:05 Have you ever tried it?

00:35:06 I don't think I've tried it before.

00:35:07 So that feels pretty in control, right?

00:35:09 Invalid shot group.

00:35:11 The answer is we still cannot do it.

00:35:14 From what I've read on the internet, even when it was brand new and perfectly

00:35:16 calibrated and in exact factory set up specifications, it wasn't great.

00:35:21 So if you're a real Red Cow OG, then you might remember our very first feature

00:35:24 film, I Need to Lose 10 Pounds, and we had a guy in it.

00:35:27 His name was John O'Brien.

00:35:29 He played the stuffy manager who ran Miguel out of different businesses over

00:35:34 and over and over again.

00:35:35 And you have military background.

00:35:36 I do.

00:35:37 I was in the Army National Guard for six years.

00:35:39 I went through U.S. Army weapons training.

00:35:42 What years?

00:35:43 '94 to 2000.

00:35:44 So you've done something like this before?

00:35:46 When I was in, we had what was called the Weaponier, mostly an analog system

00:35:49 developed in the '70s.

00:35:51 It looked like a giant pinball machine, and there was like a broomstick at the

00:35:56 muzzle of the rifle, and it kind of worked.

00:35:58 Yeah, for those who didn't see our original show, the Army contracted

00:36:02 Nintendo, and then Nintendo hired Sculptured Software to develop--

00:36:05 That's right, who made a bunch of games.

00:36:07 I wonder why outside of Nintendo Power, Nintendo didn't try to market this more,

00:36:12 because they're like, "Not only are we a video game, but we're helping people

00:36:15 kill."

00:36:16 The M16 rifle becomes a soldier's tool in a profession of arms.

00:36:19 At dry fire, the soldier practices the techniques he learned in the classroom.

00:36:24 I have two goals for today.

00:36:26 Number one, learn a little bit more about how to properly handle a firearm.

00:36:29 Sure.

00:36:30 And I've got somebody who can help me do that.

00:36:32 I wasn't angry at the TV, but I was very disappointed in the TV.

00:36:35 You better not have been one of those commenters.

00:36:37 [laughter]

00:36:38 And two, with somebody who knows how to fire, can we hit a target?

00:36:42 Yeah, it doesn't actually work.

00:36:43 I have no idea.

00:36:44 It was sold, unknown condition.

00:36:45 So where do I start?

00:36:46 Holding it.

00:36:47 Like with a couscous or a pudding, the important thing in firearms is consistency.

00:36:52 Like any good roux, it needs bacon.

00:36:54 There was probably specifications on how far from the TV, how big a screen.

00:36:58 It was eight feet from the TV and a 13-inch television.

00:37:01 This is 20.

00:37:02 And apparently there's a mode where you can zero, so that would be the first step.

00:37:06 Eight feet?

00:37:07 Prepare to fire.

00:37:11 [gunshot]

00:37:12 [gunshot]

00:37:13 [gunshot]

00:37:14 Oh!

00:37:17 Wait, what, did he actually do it?

00:37:19 Yes.

00:37:20 Yeah.

00:37:21 So it works.

00:37:22 Below average.

00:37:23 That's fine.

00:37:24 I'll take below average.

00:37:25 Well, I'm also standing.

00:37:26 You're supposed to be--

00:37:27 Oh, wow.

00:37:31 Average.

00:37:32 Steady position.

00:37:33 You want to be solid.

00:37:34 You don't want to be wavering at all.

00:37:35 Right.

00:37:36 Breath control, you want to wait for a natural pause in your breath before you squeeze the trigger.

00:37:42 So when you breathe out, there's a natural pause, then you squeeze the trigger.

00:37:45 Because you're not supposed to pull the trigger.

00:37:47 Up top there, it says trigger squeeze.

00:37:49 That's what you do.

00:37:50 You're supposed to squeeze the trigger with ever-increasing pressure, and when it goes, it should surprise you.

00:37:55 You don't pull the trigger, because that can jerk the shot.

00:37:57 Shot group is good.

00:37:59 When you're zeroing at, say, 25 yards, you want to get three shots in the size of a quarter.

00:38:06 Now, that's simulating a six-foot target at probably 200 yards.

00:38:10 Do you have to have a lot of appreciation for how much, like the slightest directional variation?

00:38:14 Oh, yeah.

00:38:15 One degree here at 1,000 yards is 10 yards.

00:38:19 You want the stock in the pocket of your shoulder.

00:38:21 This is the charging handle.

00:38:22 On a real rifle, this is what brings the bolt back and makes it ready to fire.

00:38:26 You put your nose on the charging handle, and as long as you always do that, you know you're holding the rifle in the same way.

00:38:34 So you get consistency.

00:38:35 You're always getting the same sight picture.

00:38:37 For the sights, it's called an aperture sight.

00:38:39 So there's a round hole in the back, and you've got a post in the front.

00:38:43 When you're looking through a hole, your natural tendency is to center whatever's in the middle of that.

00:38:48 So you want to center the top of that post in the aperture, and you want the top of the post to be what they call center of mass on the target.

00:38:55 They put those words on the screen, center of mass.

00:38:57 But, I mean, if you would see an action, you would kind of, like, centrifugally focus on it, it being in the center?

00:39:04 Yeah, I can figure that out, yeah.

00:39:06 Look at that.

00:39:07 That's amazing.

00:39:08 Now that you're zeroed, you can actually play some of the game.

00:39:11 Would you like to try for a better zero?

00:39:13 Introduction to the supported position.

00:39:15 Okay, so this is going to want me on sandbags in, like, a foxhole.

00:39:18 50, 100, 150, 200, 250.

00:39:21 Okay.

00:39:22 Performance is measured on this scale.

00:39:23 Oh, you guys ready to be demonetized with this video, by the way?

00:39:25 [laughter]

00:39:27 So in the supported position, targets are untimed, hit two of three at each range.

00:39:30 Okay.

00:39:31 Oh, wow. It tracks your position and can replay it.

00:39:33 We never got this far.

00:39:34 [bark]

00:39:35 Hit.

00:39:36 You hear that?

00:39:37 [bark]

00:39:38 So the black is showing where you should be aiming, the white is showing where I actually aimed.

00:39:43 Standard weather.

00:39:44 Oh, the targets are getting skinnier.

00:39:46 Yeah, they're getting further away.

00:39:47 So it's supposed to simulate a six-foot target at different ranges.

00:39:51 [bark]

00:39:52 I can't believe my eyes.

00:39:53 It's awesome.

00:39:54 This thing works great.

00:39:55 I don't know what you guys are talking about.

00:39:56 I love it.

00:39:57 Here we go.

00:39:58 Two in the chest, one in the head.

00:39:59 There you go.

00:40:00 Probably can't say that on YouTube.

00:40:01 [laughter]

00:40:02 One in the boop, two in the boop.

00:40:04 Trigger squeeze, excellent.

00:40:06 He's got that down.

00:40:07 Real man embarrasses nerd.

00:40:09 [laughter]

00:40:10 That would be your YouTube short clip.

00:40:12 The cartoon tears in my eyes.

00:40:13 [laughter]

00:40:15 Shall I?

00:40:16 Yeah.

00:40:17 Are you going to try to meet this standard?

00:40:18 No.

00:40:19 I'm going to try to get one.

00:40:20 A real rifle, there's a massive spring and a weight in here, absorbing the recoil of

00:40:24 the round, and you want that to go into your shoulder.

00:40:26 Can I tell you something funny?

00:40:27 My nose doesn't reach where it needs to reach.

00:40:29 This is part of--

00:40:30 It can.

00:40:31 Really?

00:40:32 Oh, okay.

00:40:33 [laughter]

00:40:34 The tip of your nose right there.

00:40:35 As long as you put it in the same spot every time, and now you want to look with your right

00:40:40 eye, because you're right-handed, and you're probably right-eyed.

00:40:43 [laughter]

00:40:44 Let's take that out.

00:40:46 This is untimed.

00:40:47 I have all the time in the world.

00:40:49 Okay.

00:40:50 It's also zeroed for me.

00:40:51 Oh, should we re-zero it?

00:40:52 But I'm holding the rifle correctly.

00:40:54 Yeah, you want it--

00:40:56 Right there.

00:40:57 --not in my pit.

00:40:58 Right here in the pocket of your shoulder.

00:41:01 Prepare to fire.

00:41:02 Now you want to center this post in that hole.

00:41:06 [laughter]

00:41:07 Invalid, Shaq.

00:41:08 That looks familiar.

00:41:09 That looks familiar.

00:41:10 Let me try.

00:41:11 Maybe on the knees.

00:41:12 Yeah, that wasn't any better.

00:41:14 I'm still wobbling around.

00:41:16 I'll try.

00:41:17 Let me fail.

00:41:18 No, there's no way I can get-- I don't know how I would even-- I can't even-- oh, my God.

00:41:23 There you go.

00:41:25 Oh, my God.

00:41:26 John got a hit?

00:41:27 It's the name.

00:41:28 It's got to be the name.

00:41:29 You want to give it a try?

00:41:31 Sure.

00:41:32 So you're saying that, like, I have a better shot in this mode?

00:41:35 Yeah, I think so.

00:41:36 You really got to kind of, like, pull your head way forward, I find.

00:41:39 Miss.

00:41:40 Close, though.

00:41:41 A little high, a little high.

00:41:42 A little high.

00:41:43 Miss.

00:41:44 Close, though.

00:41:45 But not by much.

00:41:46 Just squeeze the trigger slow.

00:41:48 It's ever-increasing pressure.

00:41:49 Oh, it matters.

00:41:50 Yeah.

00:41:51 Why does that matter for aiming?

00:41:52 Because if you jerk the trigger, you're going to jerk the barrel.

00:41:54 Ah.

00:41:55 Now, that trigger doesn't actually have a brake.

00:41:58 It's like a switch.

00:41:59 Hit.

00:42:00 Hit.

00:42:01 There you go.

00:42:02 I did it.

00:42:03 That alone is a Christmas miracle.

00:42:06 Hit.

00:42:07 Nice.

00:42:08 The trigger thing was a key.

00:42:10 Now you're a real man, Frankie.

00:42:12 Now you're a real man.

00:42:14 You shoot your eye out.

00:42:15 Now they're getting harder.

00:42:16 Can you do it, Frankie?

00:42:17 Can you do it?

00:42:18 Hit.

00:42:19 Oh.

00:42:20 Yeah, bitch.

00:42:21 Hit.

00:42:22 Nice.

00:42:23 You're getting the hang of it.

00:42:24 You're getting the hang of it.

00:42:25 I am flawless at the moment.

00:42:27 Hit.

00:42:28 Under the expert tutelage.

00:42:30 Would anybody else like to try?

00:42:31 For the record, FBI, I know this looks like six white guys training with a gun in the

00:42:36 middle of the woods, but I promise we love everyone.

00:42:39 We want harm to nobody.

00:42:40 We're nice boys.

00:42:42 It should be comfortable in there.

00:42:43 Well, maybe it's comfortable from years of use.

00:42:45 And you want the top of that post in the center of the circle, and you want the top of the

00:42:50 post in the center of the target.

00:42:52 This isn't timed, so take what you need.

00:42:56 Yeah, I suck.

00:42:57 It's all right.

00:42:58 Oh, wow.

00:42:59 This is not going to happen.

00:43:00 Invalid drug group.

00:43:01 And the problem is it doesn't give you feedback on how you were off.

00:43:02 Can you see through the little circle there?

00:43:03 Not really.

00:43:04 Not really?

00:43:05 You look through that and I'll...

00:43:06 Yeah, we'll do it as a team.

00:43:07 Okay, ready?

00:43:08 I'll tell you when, okay?

00:43:09 Don't do it yet.

00:43:10 Now.

00:43:11 Miss.

00:43:12 Close.

00:43:13 Ready?

00:43:14 Let's try it again.

00:43:15 It's not my fault.

00:43:16 It's not your fault?

00:43:17 Miss.

00:43:18 Yeah.

00:43:19 Well, it's hard to do it as a team.

00:43:20 Oh, you want to try it here?

00:43:21 Oh, look at you.

00:43:22 This is an image that's not going to work.

00:43:23 Oh, you want to try it here?

00:43:24 Oh, look at you.

00:43:25 This is an image that's going to get plastered all over the internet.

00:43:26 This is the thumbnail.

00:43:27 Give that warrior face.

00:43:28 Well, this is predicated on you having at least two weeks of prior training in basic training.

00:43:29 Does anyone have a dime?

00:43:30 A dime?

00:43:31 He's going to show us something.

00:43:32 Just show and tell.

00:43:33 Wait a minute.

00:43:34 That's not a video game controller.

00:43:35 Just to show that it is empty.

00:43:36 That controller is empty.

00:43:37 I don't know why it's empty.

00:43:38 I don't know why it's empty.

00:43:39 I don't know why it's empty.

00:43:40 I don't know why it's empty.

00:43:41 I don't know why it's empty.

00:43:42 I don't know why it's empty.

00:43:43 I don't know why it's empty.

00:43:44 I don't know why it's empty.

00:43:45 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:12 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:15 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:16 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:17 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:18 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:19 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:20 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:21 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:22 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:23 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:24 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:25 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:26 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:27 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:28 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:29 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:30 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:31 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:32 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:33 I don't know why it's empty.

00:44:35 Always treat every firearm as if it's loaded at all times.

00:44:38 Two, never point the open end at anything you aren't willing to destroy.

00:44:42 Three, know your target and what's beyond it,

00:44:45 because bullets go through and then they go through.

00:44:48 And four, finger off the trigger until lined up on the target and ready to fire.

00:44:53 With those four rules, there would never be any firearms accidents.

00:44:57 Even though the barrel's shorter, it's heavier.

00:44:59 And this is a more modern weapon.

00:45:01 Yeah.

00:45:02 And you just squeeze--

00:45:04 A little bit more.

00:45:05 A little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more until it breaks.

00:45:07 And when it breaks, it should surprise you.

00:45:09 And then you got to--

00:45:10 And I mentioned the sling earlier with the other thing.

00:45:12 You can use the sling as a support.

00:45:14 I also felt like I'm way more stable and supported with this thing.

00:45:18 Yeah.

00:45:19 This was awesome.

00:45:20 Yeah.

00:45:21 I feel like one blind spot in my life, through great suffering, has gone away.

00:45:27 And I have never played SNES.

00:45:30 Really?

00:45:31 That was the first SNES game I've ever played.

00:45:34 What were your retro cartoons?

00:45:36 The NES.

00:45:37 I'm very pleased to see that it works on some level.

00:45:39 I had no idea.

00:45:40 So now you can show this video if you ever resell it.

00:45:42 Exactly.

00:45:43 You'll see.

00:45:44 [DOG BARKING]

00:45:45 Frankie, we're going to go back to the back.

00:45:47 Today on Box Back.

00:45:48 [MUSIC PLAYING]

00:45:51 [LAUGHING]

00:46:00 Frankie, you may remember a certain lovely time

00:46:03 we had once with a back of the box recipe involving pizza macaroni and cheese.

00:46:07 Today, I've decided to bring another one out of the Kraft Heinz archives for us to experience.

00:46:13 So I have a box right here.

00:46:14 And the recipe we're doing today is not from the back of this box.

00:46:17 Because the recipe on the back of this box is just basically make macaroni and cheese

00:46:20 and add some stuff to it.

00:46:21 You know, it's not really in the spirit of the back of the box, in my view.

00:46:24 I want something ridiculous and outrageous.

00:46:26 OK.

00:46:27 Like, oh, I cooked up some bacon and some cheeseburger.

00:46:29 I'm going to put it in the mac.

00:46:30 They drizzled some kind of hot sauce or something over the top.

00:46:33 You don't like a real junky mac and cheese, do you?

00:46:35 Not really.

00:46:36 Because all it ends up tasting like is junk.

00:46:38 I kind of like my mac and cheese pure.

00:46:39 I had to go to the Kraft Heinz website and look up their list of back of the box recipes.

00:46:45 And I found this one that we're going to make today.

00:46:47 Unfortunately, in the last three days, Kraft has taken down that website.

00:46:53 So you can no longer find this recipe on the internet.

00:46:55 I have it on archive.org.

00:46:57 You ever go on YouTube and they're like, rare Monty Python sketch,

00:47:00 but it was uploaded 17 years ago and it's available simply by searching?

00:47:04 Exactly.

00:47:05 I'm not sure it's all that rare anymore.

00:47:06 But I still want to market this as rare mac and cheese recipe.

00:47:09 This was on the back of one of these very boxes in 2021.

00:47:13 And it is an utterly ridiculous recipe.

00:47:15 We are going to make jalapeno bacon mac and cheese balls.

00:47:19 I've never had a mac and cheese ball I enjoyed.

00:47:21 I haven't either.

00:47:22 They cannot properly be heated.

00:47:24 Normally when I get them, it's from a food truck.

00:47:26 Let's dig in.

00:47:27 All right.

00:47:28 The mac just there is pretty weak.

00:47:29 Very.

00:47:30 This is $6.

00:47:31 You bite in and the outside is a little cold and the inside is way too hot.

00:47:34 The outside is a little cold.

00:47:35 It's not the other way around?

00:47:36 The inside is way too hot.

00:47:37 The inside is way too hot.

00:47:39 Well, we're going to try to see if we can rectify that today.

00:47:41 I don't think we can.

00:47:42 Again, it's like, why not just put like actual cheese inside?

00:47:44 And why mac and cheese?

00:47:45 Is that right?

00:47:46 Wow.

00:47:47 That's why we have this.

00:47:48 You cut up little pieces of Velveeta and the core of each one is just Velveeta cheese.

00:47:54 And then you wrap it in macaroni and cheese and then you roll it in Ritz crackers.

00:47:59 Oh, okay.

00:48:00 So in other words, the mac is part of the breading.

00:48:03 Yes.

00:48:04 The mac is the outer layer and there's Velveeta cheese in your core.

00:48:07 Okay.

00:48:08 Good.

00:48:09 That's a huge improvement.

00:48:10 And if we can inspire some change in these food trucks, it would help me once every five

00:48:15 years.

00:48:16 Yeah, I'm impressed that you have decided to jump into this bowl of mac.

00:48:21 Look, it's Christmas.

00:48:22 We got to do something exciting and fun.

00:48:25 Yeah, where's your, like, don't you want a hat or something?

00:48:27 Sure, give me a hat.

00:48:28 We have to cook some bacon today, EJ.

00:48:30 And I've elected to use my air fryer for this.

00:48:33 You want some Santa earmuffs?

00:48:35 Santa muffs?

00:48:36 You won't be able to hear anything, but they look awfully cute.

00:48:37 I don't love it.

00:48:38 What else we got?

00:48:39 Just standard Santa hats.

00:48:40 I think Santa hats are fine.

00:48:41 Yeah, boring, but fine.

00:48:42 I think I'm going to go with the elf.

00:48:43 I like the elf.

00:48:44 Okay, all right.

00:48:45 So why an air fryer?

00:48:46 I don't like bacon as a rule.

00:48:47 And I know this is sacrilege to everyone involved.

00:48:49 I like it very crispy, but never burnt.

00:48:52 And I think the air fryer might help a lot with that.

00:48:55 I agree completely with it, by the way.

00:48:56 Remember when bacon was all the meme?

00:48:58 That's died way down.

00:48:59 Oh yeah, bacon is on the decline.

00:49:01 There's so many meats I would rather have than bacon.

00:49:04 They started doing things with bacon that were kind of unconventional

00:49:07 and now have become very normal, like sticking them in, like, cookies.

00:49:10 Yeah, but it is an essential part of the recipe here, and I do have to cook some.

00:49:13 We've never fried anything on Box Mac before.

00:49:15 And we're going to deep fry, too, at the end.

00:49:17 I'm going to get a flyer for a Festivus buffet.

00:49:19 Yes, the Festiva buffet.

00:49:21 Oh, Festiva. I thought it was Festivus.

00:49:23 That's a Chinese buffet in Fairhaven.

00:49:25 They might have found out that you'd been away from Fairhaven.

00:49:28 And I know you'll have a lovely visit in Fairhaven, Miss Emma.

00:49:31 You know, the Chinese restaurants could do Festivus.

00:49:33 They totally could.

00:49:34 But actually, we always do your party on the 23rd.

00:49:36 Yeah.

00:49:37 And what is the 23rd?

00:49:38 A Festivus for the rest of us!

00:49:40 You've been having Festivus parties for, like, 25 years.

00:49:43 I didn't even know it.

00:49:44 And we do normally air grievances.

00:49:45 The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances.

00:49:49 I got a lot of problems with you people!

00:49:52 I love the window and the light, Ije.

00:49:54 Ooh, I like when you say "Ije."

00:49:56 Ije.

00:49:57 It's like Portuguese.

00:49:58 Ije.

00:49:59 There's a little light Ije.

00:50:00 I bought all the components for this recipe.

00:50:02 And I don't keep Ritz crackers in-house.

00:50:04 But club crackers you had used to.

00:50:06 Yes.

00:50:07 Sadly, club crackers, like these Ritz, don't taste like much of anything anymore.

00:50:10 They used to taste like butter.

00:50:11 They were so good in the past, weren't they?

00:50:13 Yeah.

00:50:14 They used to taste pretty buttery.

00:50:15 I'd come over to your house, you'd have tons of them.

00:50:17 And, yeah, I'd go through a whole thing.

00:50:19 You know, like one vertical stack.

00:50:20 One stack.

00:50:21 One S.

00:50:22 I like them because they were perforated in the middle, and I always made a little game.

00:50:25 I've never expressed this aloud before.

00:50:27 Out of snapping them exactly at the horizon.

00:50:30 If it was uneven in any way, I'd feel slight disappointment and try again with the next one.

00:50:35 So part of the recipe is we have to crush 48 crackers into a fine dust.

00:50:40 Trace amounts of cracka-dust.

00:50:42 Trace levels of cocaine dust.

00:50:44 Should I just start smashing?

00:50:45 I was going to have you put it in here and smash it with a tool.

00:50:47 With a potato masher?

00:50:48 Yeah, you know.

00:50:49 Always using a Rapid Mac.

00:50:52 I love them.

00:50:53 I use them all the time for cooking.

00:50:54 It's just good plasticware.

00:50:56 It cleans up nice.

00:50:57 This whole vertical stack?

00:50:58 The whole vertical stack.

00:50:59 I think that's-- is that like 48 cookies?

00:51:01 Every time there's like a Christmas carol or whatever, whenever we watch with Gloria,

00:51:05 they always talk about the Christmas turkey that we're going to have.

00:51:08 It chafes her every time.

00:51:09 She's like, "Turkey is Thanksgiving, bruh."

00:51:11 And I'm like, "No, no, you can have turkey on Thanksgiving.

00:51:13 It's fine."

00:51:14 Yeah.

00:51:15 And she's like, "No."

00:51:16 They're big on ham in my family.

00:51:18 The bacon is big pieces.

00:51:19 And we got to put some mac on.

00:51:20 Kraft Four Cheese Deluxe here, which is original.

00:51:23 I'm sorry, it's not four cheese.

00:51:24 It's super good.

00:51:25 When I get a mac and I'm at like a generic basic bitch supermarket, that's what I'll get.

00:51:29 Something that always chafes against Nina is every time somebody plays my favorite things

00:51:34 as a Christmas song.

00:51:36 I mean, the only argument for it being a Christmas song is it's about, what,

00:51:39 wanting to have materials?

00:51:41 Worm wool and mittens is like all it is.

00:51:43 That's all it takes to get you into Christmas?

00:51:45 White paper packages tied up with string.

00:51:47 Okay.

00:51:48 It has nothing to do with, just because they're wrapped.

00:51:50 Okay, so they reference winter and they reference packages and gift wrapping.

00:51:54 Let's think of some Christmas songs that we like that really are almost never thought

00:51:58 ever referenced.

00:51:59 I got one for you.

00:52:00 Okay.

00:52:01 They're coming on Christmas.

00:52:02 Oh, I like that one.

00:52:03 Cutting down trees.

00:52:04 They're putting up reindeer and singing songs of joy and peace.

00:52:10 And then it stops being about Christmas.

00:52:11 I wish I had a river.

00:52:13 What else you got?

00:52:14 Where you're like, oh yeah.

00:52:15 I mean, I'm so like indoctrinated into the normal Christmas rotation.

00:52:19 That you can't even get out of it.

00:52:20 I can't even get out of it.

00:52:21 There was a song they kept playing at our church last year we've gotten pretty into.

00:52:24 It's a way in a manger, but it kicks into like a big Christmas song.

00:52:27 Asleep on the hay.

00:52:30 It's Christmas, angels are singing.

00:52:36 You ever heard this one?

00:52:37 I have heard it actually.

00:52:39 I hear the reason, the Savior is born.

00:52:43 Come on, sing.

00:52:44 It's Christmas, angels are singing.

00:52:49 I know the reason, I know the reason.

00:52:53 The Savior is born, the Savior is born.

00:52:56 They don't get much radio play anymore, sadly.

00:52:59 But the classic religious Christmas songs like A Way in a Manger.

00:53:03 I actually love those.

00:53:04 How's my dust?

00:53:05 Does it need to be more dusty?

00:53:06 More dusty, please.

00:53:07 Would you like a jalapeno, Frankie?

00:53:09 Oh my God, is that a good idea?

00:53:10 I'll tell you what, my wife.

00:53:12 Your wife.

00:53:13 She grew jalapenos all summer.

00:53:15 I put them on every single sandwich.

00:53:17 Yep.

00:53:18 And boy, oh boy, fresh jalapenos right from the garden.

00:53:20 Oh, it's nice, isn't it?

00:53:21 Or no, they weren't jalapenos, were they?

00:53:22 They were hot banana peppers.

00:53:23 Hot banana peppers.

00:53:24 Oh, those are wonderful.

00:53:25 These, I think, have been neutered a little.

00:53:27 They're called tamed.

00:53:28 I don't know how you tame a pepper.

00:53:29 I'm using my food crusher to chop the jalapenos.

00:53:33 I'm using my kitchen jag off.

00:53:35 Just crush that stuff and twist.

00:53:37 I do have a mortar and pestle, but that seems a little excessive, doesn't it?

00:53:40 Good job, Gloria.

00:53:41 You're doing great now.

00:53:42 And ooh, that bacon looks pretty good.

00:53:44 That looks pretty good.

00:53:45 Because we're going to crumble this bacon, I'm going to let it go a little bit more.

00:53:48 But that actually looks really good and appealing.

00:53:50 And maybe I'll get into bacon.

00:53:52 There's a lot of fun to be had when you shoot the Red Cow Christmas special,

00:53:55 but none so fun as when the whole kitchen smells like food.

00:53:59 Isn't it such a nice holiday time, you know?

00:54:01 Especially when you have a very light breakfast.

00:54:03 Yeah.

00:54:04 Nina and I went to this coffee place down the street.

00:54:06 All of their coffees were like, "She's a Butte Clark.

00:54:10 Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.

00:54:12 Shoot your eye out, kid."

00:54:13 They all were peppermint, basically.

00:54:14 But I was like, "It'd be great if they had one that was like,

00:54:16 'Jolliest bunch of assholes, this side of the North Pole.

00:54:18 Hallelujah, holy shit, where's the Tylenol?'"

00:54:21 What else would be a good Christmas catchphrase to name a coffee after?

00:54:25 "I was just looking for Turbamondol."

00:54:27 [laughter]

00:54:28 "Why am I such a misfit?"

00:54:30 That's a good one.

00:54:31 You can't think of one.

00:54:32 I can't think of one.

00:54:33 I don't consume media like that.

00:54:35 No? Not even when you were a child?

00:54:36 For there will be no red fire truck for little Bart.

00:54:39 Sweater for little Lisa.

00:54:41 No Cajun sausage for little Jumps.

00:54:43 "Do love me a Cajun sausage."

00:54:45 "Little Homer, sausage? What in the name of holy hell is going on here?"

00:54:48 "Can we skip church?"

00:54:52 "Can we skip church?"

00:54:56 [laughter]

00:54:57 You're doing a fine job.

00:54:58 That's looking really good.

00:54:59 Literally.

00:55:00 Let's see how much measure we got here.

00:55:01 Okay, there's one cup.

00:55:02 Yeah, how's my bird feed?

00:55:03 We're a little short.

00:55:04 Well, get me another stack.

00:55:05 Now, Frankie, can I have you try a cracker?

00:55:07 You remember what Ritz tastes like, right?

00:55:09 All right.

00:55:10 It tastes like they got rid of the salt and they got rid of the butter.

00:55:13 Yeah, that's exactly what it tastes like.

00:55:15 They replaced it with palm oil instead of butter.

00:55:17 Yeah, there's like no body to it.

00:55:19 Yeah, it's a garbage cracker.

00:55:21 Good job, Ritz. You ruined your brand.

00:55:22 You lose the sweetness of the butter.

00:55:24 The richness is there, but there's no--

00:55:27 But the Ritz-ness is not.

00:55:29 It's like anything in life.

00:55:30 Will they accept the slop?

00:55:32 I think all too often you find that going the distance for quality doesn't matter to the consumer.

00:55:37 Yeah, everything is going to have to be homemade if you want it to be any good.

00:55:39 That's the reality.

00:55:40 To this mac, I'm going to add these jalapenos, which I've chopped up.

00:55:43 The jalapenos have got to be the most controversial aspect of the recipe, right?

00:55:46 Our lovely bacon, which is a little dark, darker than I'd like now.

00:55:50 Because the bacon is.

00:55:51 After all, in the end--

00:55:53 After all is said and done.

00:55:54 Yep.

00:55:55 After what has been said has been said.

00:55:57 Yes.

00:55:58 After what needs to be done has been done.

00:56:00 Yep.

00:56:01 The bacon will be--

00:56:02 Big pieces.

00:56:03 Can I have some bacon?

00:56:04 The bacon is big pieces.

00:56:06 It's a little overcooked, but I wanted it intentionally a little overcooked.

00:56:09 But, very good.

00:56:10 If I was John, and John was a waiter--

00:56:13 [laughter]

00:56:15 Excuse me.

00:56:16 It's burnt.

00:56:17 I didn't talk like that.

00:56:18 Yeah, you did.

00:56:19 Yeah.

00:56:20 Yeah.

00:56:21 Sandwich is wrong.

00:56:22 I don't think I was that assertive.

00:56:23 Yes, you were.

00:56:24 Yeah.

00:56:25 Scissoring the bacon.

00:56:26 Scissoring the bacon.

00:56:27 I still think you could have just thrown it in a food processor.

00:56:29 Shh.

00:56:30 Don't tell Frankie that.

00:56:31 I am the food processor.

00:56:32 If we put it in a food processor, then you'd be out of a job.

00:56:36 Oh, please, gentlemen.

00:56:38 Don't ask me to put you out of a job.

00:56:41 Not on Christmas Eve.

00:56:42 Now, Frankie, I don't want the bacon to be big pieces.

00:56:45 Why?

00:56:46 Because it's supposed to all blend nicely into a, you know, a mac and cheese cacophony.

00:56:50 Can you believe we're still doing this?

00:56:51 This is the ninth special.

00:56:52 That's incredible.

00:56:53 Consecutive.

00:56:54 First one was 2015, right?

00:56:55 And so, that's when we did Gift of the Mac, guys, which is a great title.

00:56:58 I'm going to use my correct technique.

00:57:00 Crack on the flat surface, and then you get no shell.

00:57:02 Beaten one egg in the bacon remnants to add extra bacon flavor.

00:57:05 I saw a shirt on Tee Public the other day.

00:57:07 It just said, "And Tiny Tim, who did not die."

00:57:11 Oh, isn't that swell?

00:57:12 Oh, isn't that swell?

00:57:14 Like the lamp, not the rat.

00:57:15 It's probably pretty good, EJ.

00:57:17 Would you like to try a little?

00:57:18 The egg will set in, like, 15 seconds, so.

00:57:20 You know, adding the egg, that's what Christmas is all about.

00:57:23 Every year, the fans are like, "There's a lot of recipes here.

00:57:26 Which one's the one?"

00:57:27 And I've always said the 2016 one's the one.

00:57:29 Everything after that is, you know, you playing.

00:57:31 Get a little-- get the bacon of medium pieces.

00:57:34 Of course, you have halfway decent mac and cheese, but the bacon plus the pepper escalates.

00:57:38 The pepper's not overwhelming, though.

00:57:39 No, the pepper just adds, like, exactly--

00:57:41 Like a nice layer.

00:57:42 Exactly what you would hope it would.

00:57:43 The extra creaminess from the egg actually makes it really good.

00:57:46 That looks perfect, Frankie. Excellent job.

00:57:48 That would be another good holiday drink.

00:57:49 Tiny Tim, who did not die.

00:57:51 So, into this goes crackers. That's why we tasted it before.

00:57:54 I'm a little bit sad about this.

00:57:56 Now it's become--

00:57:57 Goodbye flavor.

00:57:58 Yep, goodbye.

00:57:59 People aren't still hung up on Big Top Macs, are they?

00:58:02 I'm not.

00:58:03 Did this show break the spell?

00:58:04 I think to some extent it did.

00:58:05 You ever see that meme where it's one person facing billions?

00:58:08 Yes.

00:58:09 And it says, "Yes, you're all wrong."

00:58:11 [laughter]

00:58:13 Now, the key is to let it cool.

00:58:15 After it's cooled down a little bit, we put a little block of Velveeta,

00:58:18 a little tiny piece of OUD in each, we coat it in the remaining crackers,

00:58:21 and then we deep fry it.

00:58:22 And we're back.

00:58:23 It's ice cold.

00:58:24 I don't think it's ice cold. It's kind of like room temp-ish.

00:58:26 Gazpacho, served ice cold.

00:58:29 It's tomato soup, served ice cold!

00:58:32 And now we need to do the unpleasant task of making balls

00:58:35 and encapsulating them in Velveeta.

00:58:37 [laughter]

00:58:38 Authentic Velveeta here.

00:58:40 Is there non-authentic Velveeta?

00:58:42 There is. You can get the Aldi brand, which is not quite as good,

00:58:44 but it's two bucks instead of $7.49.

00:58:46 That's not inauthentic Velveeta. That's just cheese.

00:58:48 Yes.

00:58:49 So I've got about a quarter block here, and I need to divide this into

00:58:51 about 30 pieces, it says.

00:58:53 Frankie, do you want to make balls with me?

00:58:55 Oh, yeah.

00:58:56 Give your hands a wash, and then we're going to make balls, okay?

00:58:58 So here's the basic process, EJ.

00:59:00 I've got a little lump of cheese.

00:59:01 I'm going to take a little lump of Mac.

00:59:03 The cheese has to be fully hidden.

00:59:04 Oh, God, this is a disaster.

00:59:06 What the hell am I doing, EJ?

00:59:08 Remember when it was good?

00:59:09 Hey, guys, thanks for subscribing. Thanks for liking.

00:59:11 Today we're going to show you how to ruin a perfectly good mac and cheese.

00:59:14 First, you take a really nice mac and cheese,

00:59:16 then dry it out and ball it, guys.

00:59:19 All right, so what do I do?

00:59:20 Process sucks.

00:59:21 I don't even like watching you do that.

00:59:23 It's John...

00:59:24 And it makes bad sounds.

00:59:26 Wait, the cheese is--

00:59:27 The cheese is visible, Frankie.

00:59:28 It's not-- This process is--

00:59:30 It's too sticky.

00:59:31 This is so stupid just to make it way worse.

00:59:33 Now what you do is you take this,

00:59:35 and you shove it in the anus of the ball.

00:59:38 You ever see the time that Cookie Monster gave her a tough time?

00:59:40 I did. I love that segment.

00:59:41 She didn't know-- She thought she was getting Elmo.

00:59:43 She got Cookie Monster.

00:59:44 Preheat your oven to 350--

00:59:47 Me no got oven on me.

00:59:48 Okay, but we have one over on the wall.

00:59:50 Oh, lucky.

00:59:51 Yes, we're very lucky.

00:59:52 Almost as if it were planned.

00:59:53 I think that she doesn't know the difference between the Muppets.

00:59:56 That is-- That seems like the reasonable explanation.

00:59:58 You're done with what you have.

01:00:00 Okay, okay, okay, okay.

01:00:01 What do you want me to do for you?

01:00:02 You let me lose.

01:00:03 I get to date with Bert.

01:00:05 Really?

01:00:06 Yeah.

01:00:07 Bert?

01:00:08 Bert.

01:00:09 Oh, I love-- Mr. Excitement.

01:00:10 All right, so my technique is to pre-ball,

01:00:11 and look, now I've made a pretty good ball,

01:00:13 and then insert the cheese.

01:00:14 The least worth it thing in the world.

01:00:16 Yeah, it's pretty least worth it, isn't it?

01:00:17 Chris Mack Cookies is tough to top with Chris Mack Kankles.

01:00:20 That one is still, in my mind, a particular sadness,

01:00:23 because I really wanted to, like,

01:00:25 honor the memory of Christmas cookies in my family.

01:00:28 I think there's a lesson there.

01:00:30 You can't go home again.

01:00:31 You can't go--

01:00:32 You can't go home again.

01:00:33 The gels are just so you can, like, draw eyes on,

01:00:35 you know, bloated kankles.

01:00:37 We're making one more, and that's-- I'm calling it.

01:00:39 Yeah, Kirby was here for the Christmas kankles.

01:00:41 That was Pregnant Christmas.

01:00:43 Pregnant Christmas is one of my favorite country songs.

01:00:46 Are you saying Nina was slack?

01:00:47 I mean, last year, she was, like, secretly pregnant.

01:00:49 Remember, she was, like, sick the whole time?

01:00:51 Yeah, I was like-- I was gonna say something to you,

01:00:53 but then I'm like, "What if she's just sick?

01:00:54 I'm just a jerk."

01:00:55 I was like, "Yeah, this culture is gonna be like,

01:00:57 'You know she's pregnant, right?'"

01:00:59 [laughter]

01:01:00 But then I was like, "What if she just has

01:01:02 a really bad stomach illness?"

01:01:03 I'm trying a different technique.

01:01:05 Where you just, like, squeeze them to high heaven?

01:01:07 Why would Kraft Heinz make me do this?

01:01:09 It was fine up till this point.

01:01:10 It looked like a real recipe.

01:01:11 Here, I'll let you wash your hands here in a minute.

01:01:13 Do a back-of-the-box recipe, he said.

01:01:15 No, this was your idea, sir.

01:01:17 My hands are sort of delicious.

01:01:18 I mean, they should be reasonably delicious.

01:01:20 It's all good stuff.

01:01:21 I'm gonna cook us four, and then we'll taste those.

01:01:23 How would they suck?

01:01:24 It's deep-fried macaroni and cheese

01:01:26 with cheese in the middle.

01:01:27 I just think they're gonna fall apart once I put them in oil.

01:01:29 Okay, we're right at temp.

01:01:30 I'll lightly drop my balls in.

01:01:32 They are definitely boiling.

01:01:33 They're coming out.

01:01:34 Oh, wow.

01:01:35 This is for real?

01:01:36 They don't look as bad as I thought they would.

01:01:38 Well, these got to cool anyway,

01:01:39 so I might as well cook four more.

01:01:40 Remember the time EJ deep-fried a turkey?

01:01:42 So only one kind of burst open,

01:01:44 and you can see that it's got a lovely cheesy center.

01:01:46 It's got a little bit of a crab rangoon feel to it.

01:01:48 See, this one had a cheese-splosion

01:01:49 and lost its cheese interior.

01:01:51 And this one has a cheese leak.

01:01:53 If you're interested in what a mac and cheese ball

01:01:55 tastes like, come on over.

01:01:56 All right, let's give it a try.

01:01:57 All right, ready?

01:01:58 It's good, but here's the thing.

01:02:00 The bacon's lost, the jalapeno's there,

01:02:02 the outer edge, like, it doesn't matter

01:02:03 that it's mac and cheese.

01:02:04 It could have just been cracker, ultimately.

01:02:06 Most of the flavor I'm getting is that center cheese.

01:02:09 It's a long way to not much, let's say that.

01:02:11 It's good, and you got new co-hosts.

01:02:13 Oh, yeah, there's tons of spiders.

01:02:15 That's Charlotte.

01:02:16 She thinks that we're ostentatious.

01:02:17 She thinks we're some pig.

01:02:19 It kind of invokes the taste of carnival food.

01:02:21 I tasted it, and the first thing I thought

01:02:23 was like Ferris wheel.

01:02:25 Cheers.

01:02:26 Cheers.

01:02:27 Yeah, there's not much flavor there.

01:02:29 You get the fry flavor, and then the melty Velveeta cheese.

01:02:32 Exactly.

01:02:33 Yeah, they're fine, they're food.

01:02:34 It would have been better, the macaroni and cheese,

01:02:36 actually, just with some jalapeno, some bacon,

01:02:38 and one egg mixed in was delicious.

01:02:40 They're better when you eat them a little hot.

01:02:42 Really?

01:02:43 Yeah.

01:02:44 All right.

01:02:45 Quick.

01:02:46 They are better.

01:02:47 Mm-hmm.

01:02:48 [MUSIC - "CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU"]

01:02:50 (SINGING) Christmas without you.

01:02:56 I'll eat some cold craft noodles, but think about you.

01:03:04 Cracker bear, also gooey with cheeses of three.

01:03:19 Don't see my plate, dear, if you're not here with me.

01:03:27 And when those blue box noodles start boiling,

01:03:37 that's when my spoon that's wooden starts toiling.

01:03:48 You'll be doing all right with your cheddar so high,

01:03:58 but I have a blue, blue, blue-bounce Christmas.

01:04:05 [MUSIC - "CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU"]

01:04:12 I don't have that money.

FRIED Mac & Cheese Balls, Holiday Barbies, SNES Rifle Redo! | BoxMac 183

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