Narcissistic Victim Syndrome is a term that collectively describes specific and often severe side effects of narcissistic abuse. Many experts acknowledge narcissistic abuse can have a serious, long-lasting impact on emotional health although out is not recognized as a mental health condition. To help you along your journey of narcissistic abuse recovery, here are a few common signs you might have narcissistic victim syndrome.
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00:16 Narcissistic victim syndrome is a term
00:18 that collectively describes specific
00:20 and often severe side effects of narcissistic abuse.
00:24 Many experts acknowledge narcissistic abuse
00:26 can have a serious long-lasting impact
00:29 on emotional health, although it is not recognized
00:32 as a mental health condition.
00:34 As a result of chronic abuse,
00:36 victims may struggle with symptoms of PTSD or complex PTSD
00:40 if they had additional trauma,
00:42 such as being abused by narcissistic parents.
00:45 (beep)
00:46 (upbeat music)
00:59 With that in mind, here are 10 signs
01:02 that might suggest you have narcissistic victim syndrome.
01:05 Number one, you felt like you had a perfect relationship
01:09 with that person in the beginning.
01:11 When you're in a romantic relationship,
01:13 this type of abuse usually begins slowly
01:17 and it creeps up on you after you've fallen hard
01:20 and are in love with your partner.
01:22 In the early stages of the relationship,
01:24 this is when the love bombing usually occurs.
01:27 They may shower you with gifts and affections
01:29 and it can feel very intense.
01:31 Then slowly, manipulative tactics
01:34 start to invade the relationship
01:36 and will replace the love bombing.
01:39 In the case of narcissistic parents,
01:41 they might also offer love, adoration, praise,
01:44 and financial support until you do something
01:47 to displease them and lose their favor.
01:50 They use tactics such as gaslighting and silent treatment,
01:54 which can leave you questioning your own sanity.
01:56 And this is something that sticks with you
01:58 even after you've cut ties with that person.
02:01 Number two, you feel like you're walking on eggshells.
02:05 A common symptom of trauma is avoiding anything
02:08 that might make you relive that particular trauma,
02:11 whether it be people, places, or activities
02:13 that pose the threat to you.
02:14 You may feel like you're constantly worrying
02:17 and being careful about what you say or do around people
02:20 because that is how you used to behave
02:22 when you were around your abuser.
02:24 You may present as anxious and introverted,
02:26 especially when in the presence of other people,
02:29 though you're simply acting out of extreme fear.
02:33 Number three, you may have experienced smear campaigns
02:37 once the relationship ended.
02:39 When breakups happen, it's common for people to take sides.
02:42 This is no different when it comes to a narcissistic abuser.
02:45 They will twist your words
02:47 and tell their version of the story to others
02:49 to try and get them to feel sorry for them.
02:52 They can often drum up support from your loved ones
02:55 by insisting that they only have the best interest at heart.
02:58 Then, when you try to talk about the abuse that happened,
03:02 your loved ones might side with the abuser over you.
03:05 This can draw up barriers
03:06 between you and the people in your support network
03:09 and leave you feeling isolated.
03:11 Number four, you feel isolated and vulnerable.
03:16 When no one will listen to you or your concerns,
03:19 this can leave you feeling very much alone.
03:22 When you feel alone,
03:23 you're vulnerable to further manipulation from your abuser.
03:26 They may pull you back in with fake apologies,
03:29 a hand of kindness,
03:30 or by brushing their past abuse under the rug.
03:33 This tactic, which is called hovering,
03:36 is the perfect time to pounce
03:37 when you're lacking in support,
03:39 since you are more likely to doubt your perceptions
03:42 of the abuse when you can't talk to anyone about it.
03:45 Number five, you've developed a pervasive sense of mistrust.
03:51 Are you hypervigilant?
03:53 Do you worry and get anxious over other people's intentions?
03:57 The gaslighting techniques used by the narcissistic abuser
04:02 may have contributed to how you view the world,
04:05 and you may find that you have a hard time trusting anyone,
04:09 including yourself.
04:10 Number six, you may engage in self-sabotaging
04:14 and self-destructive behavior.
04:16 Victims often find themselves ruminating over the abuse.
04:20 This can enhance the frequency of negative self-talk
04:23 and the tendency towards self-sabotage.
04:26 Malignant narcissists will try and program you,
04:31 conditioning you for self-destruction.
04:33 This could potentially lead you
04:34 to engaging in risky behaviors,
04:37 such as self-harm or even suicidal ideation.
04:41 You might've developed a knack for punishing yourself
04:44 because of the toxic shame you carry,
04:46 put there by the hypercriticism and verbal abuse
04:50 of your abuser.
04:51 If you feel like you're lacking in any motivation
04:54 to pursue your dreams and goals,
04:56 then this could be a result of narcissistic abuse.
05:00 Number seven, you may experience
05:02 unexplained physical symptoms.
05:05 Narcissistic abuse can trigger anxious and nervous feelings
05:09 that can trigger physical symptoms.
05:11 The stress of chronic abuse
05:12 may send your stress levels into overdrive,
05:15 and as a result, your immune system may take a severe hit,
05:19 leaving you vulnerable to physical ailments and disease.
05:22 You may notice symptoms such as appetite changes,
05:25 nausea, stomach pain, muscle aches and pains,
05:28 insomnia, and fatigue.
05:30 Number eight, you may have issues setting boundaries.
05:34 The experience of narcissistic abuse
05:36 can often leave you with little respect for boundaries.
05:40 This may be because when you tried to set boundaries
05:43 in the past, you may have been met with challenges
05:45 from the abuser who gave you the silent treatment
05:48 until you did what they wanted.
05:50 Once you end the relationship
05:52 or gain distance from a narcissistic parent,
05:55 you promise yourself that you won't answer their calls
05:58 or physically see them at all.
06:00 However, even if you've tried to cut ties,
06:03 your abuser is confident
06:04 that they will eventually wear you down
06:06 because you've set aside your boundaries with them
06:09 so many times before.
06:10 If you've experienced narcissistic abuse,
06:13 you might also have trouble setting healthy boundaries
06:15 in your relationships with others in the future.
06:19 Nine, you may be questioning your own identity.
06:23 When facing abuse, many people adjust their self-identity
06:27 to accommodate an abusive partner.
06:29 You may have stopped doing things you enjoy
06:31 or spending time with friends and family
06:34 in order to better appease your abuser.
06:36 These changes can often lead to a loss of identity
06:39 during and after the abuse.
06:42 It's not uncommon for victims of narcissistic abuse
06:46 to experience dissociation and detachment
06:49 from the physical world.
06:51 Dr. Van der Klook writes in his book titled,
06:53 "The Body Keeps the Score."
06:56 Dissociation is the essence of trauma.
06:59 The overwhelming experience is split off and fragmented
07:03 so that the emotions, sounds, images, thoughts,
07:07 and physical sensations take on a life of their own.
07:12 Oof.
07:13 Number 10, you may find it hard to make decisions.
07:17 When there has been a negative pattern of devaluation
07:20 and criticism in your life,
07:22 you might have very little self-esteem
07:24 and confidence in yourself.
07:26 Narcissistic abusers can make statements
07:29 that imply that you are unable to make good decisions.
07:32 Abusive partners may have called you stupid or ignorant,
07:36 or they might've insulted you
07:37 with a false and affectionate tone.
07:40 They can manipulate you into believing
07:42 you imagine parts of reality,
07:45 making it seem less important than it actually is.
07:48 This type of cajoling and deceitfulness
07:51 can affect the way you make future decisions.
07:54 So did you relate to any of these signs?
07:57 Let us know in the comments below.
07:59 I wanted to take a second to say that I definitely,
08:02 I'm sorry, hi, it's Amanda, the voiceover voice.
08:06 I'm reading this script for the first time
08:09 and I really related to it.
08:12 So I wanted to add a point that in you taking the time
08:15 to learn about narcissistic victim syndrome,
08:19 you're empowering yourself.
08:21 Once you know, you can grow.
08:23 Acknowledging the effects of being
08:25 in a narcissistic relationship
08:28 is the first step to healing from one.
08:30 As we close out, we wanted to say that not all abuse
08:34 is linked to narcissism,
08:36 and not all people with a diagnosis
08:38 of narcissistic personality disorder
08:40 will engage in abusive behavior.
08:43 However, if you feel you might be a victim
08:45 of this type of abuse,
08:47 we encourage you to reach out for help.
08:50 Talk to someone you can trust,
08:52 like a good friend, a family member, or a therapist.
08:57 It's not easy to leave an abusive relationship,
09:00 but with the right support,
09:02 you can move on with your life
09:04 and start to heal from your past hurts.
09:06 Like and share this video
09:08 if it helped you and you think it could help someone else too.
09:10 The studies and references used
09:12 are listed in the description below.
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