Do you know someone who has a victim mindset that everyone is out against them and everything is completely out of their control? Do you find yourself drained while they stay in a perpetual state of discontentment? To better explore what a victim mindset is, in this video, we’ll discuss some of the signs someone is always playing the victim.
Disclaimer: It is important to use your best judgment if someone is truly in a victim mindset. There are people who have hardships that are valid, even if hard to understand. This article is not to discredit or devalue the experience of others, but rather to shed light on an issue that may be used to manipulate and harm other people.
source: psych2go
Disclaimer: It is important to use your best judgment if someone is truly in a victim mindset. There are people who have hardships that are valid, even if hard to understand. This article is not to discredit or devalue the experience of others, but rather to shed light on an issue that may be used to manipulate and harm other people.
source: psych2go
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 Hey, Psych2Goers, welcome back to another video.
00:08 To start off, we would like to thank you all
00:10 for the support that you've given us.
00:12 Psych2Go's mission is to make psychology
00:14 and mental health more accessible to everyone,
00:16 and you definitely help us do that.
00:18 Now, back to the video.
00:20 Is there someone in your life who asks for your help a lot,
00:24 but then never takes your advice?
00:26 Do they always talk about how bad their situation is,
00:29 but don't do anything to help change it?
00:32 This person may have a victim-based mindset,
00:35 where they think that everyone is out to get them
00:37 and that everything is out of their control.
00:39 As a result, you may feel drained
00:42 to constantly witness their perpetual state
00:44 of discontentment.
00:45 So here are 10 signs
00:47 that someone is always playing the victim.
00:50 Before we begin, we would like to mention
00:52 that this video is for educational purposes only.
00:55 It's not intended to diagnose.
00:57 Please talk with a counselor, life coach,
00:59 or other professional if you're struggling.
01:01 It's also important to note
01:03 that there are people who have hardships that are valid,
01:06 even if it may be hard to understand.
01:08 This video is not to discredit
01:09 or devalue the experiences of others,
01:12 but to shed light on an issue.
01:14 Now let's begin.
01:15 Number one, they try to manipulate you.
01:18 Does it seem like there's always something bad happening
01:21 to this person?
01:22 While it may seem like someone
01:23 is just going through a hard time,
01:25 they may be pulling the victim card to manipulate you.
01:29 Perhaps they always try to find ways
01:31 to get you to feel sorry for them,
01:32 or they blame you for things out of their control.
01:35 They may be trying to get you to believe
01:37 that they are the victim,
01:39 to get you to abandon your own needs to support theirs.
01:42 Number two, they place blame elsewhere.
01:46 Have they ever taken any responsibility for their feelings
01:49 or made efforts to improve their situation?
01:52 People with a victim mentality
01:54 tend to blame their shortcomings on external factors.
01:57 Perhaps they feel that a bad relationship from their past
02:00 is the cause of their unhappiness.
02:02 They may use this as a reason to explain
02:04 why they are stuck at where they are in life.
02:07 Number three, they hold onto the past.
02:10 Do they hold grudges on other people
02:12 and refuse to forgive or forget their wrongdoings?
02:16 People playing the victim tend to hold onto past events,
02:19 no matter how big or small the experience was.
02:22 They're unable to let anything go
02:24 and may use it as an obstacle to stay where they are.
02:28 For instance, they may talk excessively about an ex-partner
02:32 long after the relationship has ended,
02:34 or ruminate about a past failure
02:36 to the point that it interferes with them moving forward.
02:39 Number four, they make excuses.
02:43 Are they able to make an excuse for any situation,
02:47 no matter what advice you give?
02:48 They may deflect it by making some excuse.
02:51 Maybe they think they aren't smart enough
02:53 to pursue a certain hobby,
02:54 or that learning a new skill takes too much time,
02:57 energy, and money to learn.
02:59 So they avoid it completely.
03:01 This habit combined with a tendency to hold onto the past
03:04 and placing blame elsewhere
03:06 can prevent them from moving forward in their life.
03:09 Number five, they're unhappy about their situation.
03:13 Are they extremely dissatisfied with the way things are,
03:16 yet do nothing to change it?
03:19 People with a victim mentality often have an idea
03:21 of the life they want to be living,
03:23 but find themselves unable to work towards the goal.
03:26 Sometimes they may even use this dissatisfaction
03:29 of their current life to make you take pity on them,
03:32 so you'll help them.
03:33 Apart from hurting their own wellbeing,
03:35 this can be especially damaging to their relationships.
03:38 Number six, they don't trust you.
03:41 Have they become needy and clingy to those around them?
03:44 They may do so to get you to support them and their needs,
03:47 so that they don't need to actually work
03:49 to improve their situation.
03:51 No advice may ever seem to suffice
03:53 and everything tends to stay at a standstill.
03:56 As a result, you may end up feeling stuck along with them
03:58 since you don't see them getting better.
04:01 Number seven, they're draining to be around.
04:05 Do you feel like you're always supporting this other person,
04:08 but nothing ever gets better or changes?
04:11 It can be tiresome
04:12 when someone is in a constant state of negativity
04:14 and is hungry for compassion.
04:16 It's possible to feel
04:18 that you're getting absorbed into their world.
04:20 They may become so dependent on you and others
04:23 to the point that excessive neediness
04:24 takes a toll on your energy level.
04:27 Number eight, they're passive.
04:30 Do they not take action
04:31 even when it's absolutely necessary?
04:34 They may let people take advantage of them
04:36 in a work setting, such as by refusing to speak up,
04:39 as they don't know how to stand up for themselves.
04:42 They may internalize these events and lash out at others.
04:45 These encounters may cause them to feel weak and powerless.
04:49 Number nine, they're insecure and unstable.
04:53 Do they have low self-confidence or self-esteem?
04:57 This may come from constantly comparing themselves
04:59 to others and believing that there is no way
05:01 to change themselves.
05:03 They may even sabotage themselves and their relationships
05:06 as assurance that nothing will improve.
05:09 It may be a sign when they always seem to be
05:11 in some sort of distress
05:13 and when the relationships never seem to last long.
05:16 And number 10, they attract drama.
05:19 Do they attract drama wherever they go?
05:21 Is it usually one-sided?
05:23 No matter what, it seems like there's always someone
05:26 out there mistreating them.
05:27 They may quarrel with others
05:29 over seemingly small things all the time
05:31 and say that the other person was completely in the wrong.
05:34 This refusal to accept any responsibility
05:36 of any wrongdoing, even in the face of evidence,
05:39 may be a sign that they're purposefully
05:41 trying to play the victim.
05:42 Do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here?
05:46 I have to admit, I do.
05:48 Tell us about it in the comments below.
05:50 If you found this video helpful,
05:51 please like and share it with others
05:53 who may find it helpful too.
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05:59 All the references used are added
06:00 in the description box below.
06:02 Thanks for watching and we'll see you in the next video.