Nicky Clicky Tells All About The Move To Chicago
Vibbs | Lowering The Bar
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00:00 Oh, sweet Jesus, thank you for getting us through that.
00:02 On to the next one.
00:03 Welcome to Truth or Puke, I'm your host, Vibs.
00:05 A show where I sit down one-on-one with a guest
00:08 and ask them some of the most personal,
00:10 embarrassingly shameful questions they've ever been asked.
00:13 But the guest doesn't have to answer if they don't want to.
00:16 Instead, they can eat one of the six disgusting foods
00:19 we've selected for them.
00:20 That's Truth or Puke, let's play.
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00:56 Now, on to the episode.
00:57 - All right, welcome back to Truth or Puke.
00:59 Our guest today is Nick.
01:01 Nick, welcome to the show.
01:02 - Thank you, Vibs.
01:03 - Today, we are going to be either telling the truth
01:07 or puking.
01:08 - Yeah, yeah.
01:09 - I have questions on these cards
01:10 submitted by Lowering the Bar Instagram,
01:13 people in the office.
01:14 - Some people in the office
01:15 know my deepest, darkest secrets.
01:17 - If you don't want to answer the questions on the card,
01:20 you can eat. - Yeah.
01:21 - If you do tell the truth, I have to eat.
01:24 - Okay.
01:25 - What we have for you to eat are,
01:27 let's just start with diving beetles.
01:29 - Very obviously a bug.
01:31 - A predacious beetle.
01:32 Fish guts, chum, I believe is the proper term.
01:36 - Uh-huh.
01:37 - Century egg.
01:38 - Disgusting, horrible, the worst.
01:39 - Carolina reaper jelly bean.
01:41 That'll be for the pop quiz.
01:42 - Okay.
01:43 - Fish sperm.
01:44 - That has a potent, potent smell.
01:48 A good thing they're, you know, it's not touching the egg.
01:50 - First question, I'm going to elect fish scum, fish sperm.
01:56 Your grade school principal was sister Kathleen.
01:59 - Yeah.
02:00 - What Pokemon did you say she resembled?
02:03 (laughing)
02:05 - All right, so she was a portly woman.
02:11 - She's a nun.
02:11 - She was a nun.
02:13 I don't know if we're saying was,
02:14 we don't know where she is.
02:17 God rest her soul, maybe.
02:19 Or if she's still alive, shocking.
02:21 This could have been a couple Pokemon.
02:25 Could be a Snorlax, she could be a Voltorb,
02:28 or she could be a Jigglypuff.
02:30 - When I saw this question and I wrote it down,
02:32 I was like, I need to know.
02:33 Snorlax, yeah.
02:34 - Yeah.
02:35 Does that mean you have to eat cum?
02:36 - Well, I have nothing left in my stomach, so it's good.
02:38 - You never want cum on an empty stomach.
02:40 - No.
02:41 - Oh, it didn't come off the finger, it was sticky.
02:43 - You went out of the way to make this your thing.
02:47 - Yeah, I know, you kind of get stuck in something
02:49 and then you just, you can never get out.
02:52 Let's get to your pop quiz.
02:53 - Okay.
02:54 - How many of these are Pokemon questions?
02:56 - So now if I get it wrong, I eat a bean.
02:58 - Eat a bean.
02:59 - Okay.
03:00 - Who is number one in the Pokedex?
03:01 - Bulbasaur.
03:02 Sorry, I didn't mean to touch every single one.
03:06 - No, it's fine.
03:07 - Oh, that one had a ton of speckles too.
03:09 - It, yeah.
03:10 - That looks like Mook's shoulder.
03:12 - Number two.
03:13 - Yeah.
03:14 - Gotta catch 'em all is the American tagline for Pokemon.
03:19 What is the Japanese tagline?
03:21 - They make everything sound wiser.
03:22 Make all of them yours.
03:24 - Close. - What is it?
03:25 - Get Pokemon.
03:26 - Oh, Jesus.
03:27 - Fuck bitches, get Pokemon.
03:28 - Fuck bitches.
03:29 - Yay.
03:30 - Gotta catch 'em.
03:31 - Oh, that sure would go crazy in the store.
03:32 - Oh, for sure.
03:33 What type of Pokemon uses body slam?
03:35 - Normal.
03:36 - Correct.
03:37 - Yeah, yeah.
03:38 - Name the three best barbershop names
03:43 in Wheeling, West Virginia.
03:44 - All right, so probably Lisa's Harem, Lisa's Harem 2.
03:48 - I did not know about Lisa's Harem 2.
03:50 - Oh yeah, the sequel.
03:51 You have to go to the first one to understand the second.
03:53 - Lisa's Harem is doing so well.
03:55 They opened the second shop.
03:56 - They have this across the street.
03:57 There is the Fade Shack, the Fade Cave.
04:00 - Fade Cave. - Yes.
04:01 - Yes.
04:02 - And, oh man.
04:04 - So you have Fade Cave and Lisa's Harem.
04:06 - Okay.
04:07 - I need one more.
04:08 - Holiday Hair.
04:10 - I enjoy holiday hair.
04:11 - Okay.
04:12 - But Frank's Hairquarters.
04:13 - God damn it.
04:15 Yeah, all right, I'll take my bean on that.
04:17 I should've known Frank's Hairquarters.
04:18 - When you were younger, you said you loved poop.
04:21 - Yeah.
04:22 - You were fascinated by fecal matter.
04:23 - Yeah.
04:24 - The average person creates
04:26 how many pounds of poop per year?
04:29 - I was obsessed with poop as a kid.
04:30 I had this little digital camera
04:32 and I had this series called Dr. Poop
04:34 where I'd go into the woods and find different animals' poop
04:36 and zoom in on it and make these videos.
04:38 I would carry around a fake dog turd
04:41 and pretend to put it on a sandwich
04:42 and eat it at parties and stuff when I was younger.
04:45 - That's my bad.
04:46 - Loved poop.
04:47 But I've never really held poop.
04:49 Poop is funny to me because it's stinky.
04:52 So let's go 168, no, 148 pounds of poop a year.
04:57 - The average person poops 320 pounds of poop a year.
05:02 - Oh my God.
05:04 - Poop is heavier than you think.
05:05 - Poop's heavier than I think.
05:06 - Dense.
05:07 - My shits are like bird bones, hollows, a cavern.
05:12 - Yeah.
05:13 - You could use this as a blunt wrap.
05:14 You could poke a hole and just.
05:17 - All right, let's do it.
05:18 I've actually not had one of these.
05:19 - Okay.
05:20 - I just spit it back up.
05:22 My body doesn't want to swallow it.
05:23 - Oh, yeah.
05:25 Right now, are you just like, fuck, I have two more.
05:28 - I have two more, yeah.
05:28 - That's what I'm thinking.
05:29 - Oh boy, it's like sitting right in there.
05:31 None of this has gluten, right?
05:35 - No, actually, I think it's all gluten free.
05:36 - I spit it up in the air.
05:38 Oh fuck.
05:38 (coughing)
05:39 Did you hear it?
05:40 - Yeah.
05:41 (coughing)
05:42 - Oh fuck.
05:43 - Oh, sweet Jesus, thank you for getting us through that.
05:45 On to the next one.
05:47 To get the Carolina Reaper heat out of your mouth,
05:50 bird spit is on the table for this one.
05:52 Who was your first kiss?
05:55 What were the circumstances?
05:56 (laughing)
05:58 - Oh man.
05:59 I was super excited.
06:01 This girl I had a crush on named Cece.
06:05 - It's like the pizza place, all you can eat.
06:08 - Yeah, yeah, but after she did it,
06:13 I saw her walk over to my buddy Josh
06:15 and he paid her five bucks.
06:17 So my first kiss was my buddy pranking me.
06:20 - I mean, that sucks,
06:21 but would you rather have no kisses from your crush
06:24 or a kiss, or a whore kiss?
06:27 - Yeah, pretty much.
06:29 I think I would rather have no kisses.
06:30 - Yeah, that does suck.
06:31 - Because I feel like now,
06:34 what I learned, my flirtation tactics,
06:36 that was my first time doing it, you know?
06:38 - Yep.
06:39 - And I thought I was doing well,
06:41 but probably it was just a means to an end for her.
06:44 I was a fucking meal ticket.
06:46 - What is the use for that?
06:48 Why do people even harvest that?
06:50 - It's a delicacy.
06:52 - I didn't get it.
06:53 - Okay.
06:54 - Wow, so you know like a bird drop soup?
06:58 - Oh yeah, yeah.
06:58 - It's that, they put it into soups and stuff.
07:01 - Do they like wring out the bird neck?
07:02 Is the bird killed in the process?
07:04 - No.
07:05 Next question.
07:08 I'm gonna put up the beetle.
07:10 (growling)
07:12 - Oh my God, this better be,
07:15 oh my God.
07:16 - You are moving to Chicago.
07:18 - Fine, I'll say my body count.
07:20 - How much money did you get
07:25 to move from New York to Chicago?
07:27 Personal finances.
07:29 - We got $5,000 to move with.
07:32 I got no bone, I got no raise or anything.
07:34 - They didn't give you a bag?
07:35 - No, I told, did Pat give you this one?
07:37 - No, no.
07:38 - I convinced Pat that Big Cat gave me $100,000 cash.
07:43 And Pat believed it and was so furious.
07:45 And I've never told him otherwise.
07:47 Wasn't as juicy as you thought it would be.
07:48 - Wasn't as juicy as I thought it would be.
07:49 - You know what's gonna be juicy though?
07:51 May I pick your beetle?
07:52 - Yes.
07:53 - Oh, Big Crunch.
07:56 Oh yeah, Mike, give that to Mike.
07:58 A little ASMR.
07:59 I love eating ASMR.
08:02 - I'm eating a bug.
08:03 - Dude, I feel bad that I'm so fucking honest.
08:07 - Hey, it's your biggest flaw,
08:10 but if we look past it.
08:10 - My toxic trait.
08:12 - I'm gonna say that and I'm such a good kisser.
08:14 - Nick.
08:16 - Yes.
08:17 - This is Fish Guts.
08:18 When you were younger, what were you expecting?
08:22 This question's so ridiculous that I, like, all right.
08:26 What were you expecting when you played hide and seek
08:28 at Josh's house in high school?
08:30 What actually happened?
08:32 - Kyle's a really bad guy for this one.
08:36 A really, really bad guy for this one.
08:39 And I don't want to tell you,
08:42 (laughing)
08:44 I also want the show to be good.
08:50 - Can I say, you were playing hide and seek in high school?
08:53 - I'll tell you why.
08:53 - Okay.
08:54 - It was in high school and my buddy Josh,
08:56 the same one that paid that girl to kiss me.
09:00 - I don't like you hanging out with this Josh kid.
09:03 - He was my best friend, love him to death.
09:06 It was me, his dad was out of town,
09:09 and so we were home alone.
09:10 Me, him, and my other best friend Cleveland.
09:14 And there was this girl that I'd been texting,
09:18 and they were like, "Dude, invite her over."
09:20 They put up this whole plan for me to lose my virginity.
09:23 - Yeah.
09:24 - And they were like, "We're gonna go downstairs,
09:25 "we're gonna be like, come over, drink a little bit."
09:28 'Cause we're sophomores.
09:29 - Yeah.
09:30 - Drink a little bit, and then I'll pitch hide and go seek.
09:34 - Yep.
09:34 - And then we'll make her count,
09:36 we'll hide somewhere really hard.
09:38 - Mm-hmm.
09:39 - And you'll hide somewhere very obvious,
09:41 and she'll find you, and then you just go upstairs with her.
09:44 - And you're like, "Yeah, I'll help you, I'll help you."
09:46 - Yeah, and--
09:48 - Help you find the others.
09:49 - So we did exactly that.
09:52 Came over.
09:55 Everything's going according to plan.
09:59 We go downstairs.
10:01 I hide under his dad's pool table
10:02 with my feet sticking out.
10:05 Cleveland, I don't know, he was camouflaged.
10:08 And then Josh was behind this punching dummy,
10:11 very similar to the one we have in the office.
10:13 It was like, he fit perfectly behind it.
10:15 I hear counting, 48, 49, 50.
10:20 Here I come.
10:21 - Yeah, here we come.
10:23 - I hear the creak of the basement steps.
10:25 I'm like, "Oh, it's half."
10:27 I work up, I'm like, I'm gonna grab her, I'm gonna dip her.
10:29 - Like a, we just beat Japan in World War II.
10:34 - I'm gonna treat her like the princess she is.
10:35 - Yeah.
10:37 - And she goes down and just immediately finds Josh.
10:42 But he goes through with the plan.
10:43 - Yeah.
10:44 - So he grabs her, kisses her,
10:46 and then he had sex with her
10:47 on top of the pool table I was hiding under.
10:50 (laughing)
10:52 I could call my boy Cleve, he loves talking about this.
10:55 - Yeah, that's horrible.
10:56 Did the sounds, did you get off to the sounds?
11:02 Like, "Oh, someone's had a fucking--"
11:03 - Oh, Cleveland didn't pay his rent bill.
11:05 (laughing)
11:07 - Dude, just act like you did it.
11:09 - Oh, you're getting a pinch, dude.
11:12 Pack a lip, like it's dip.
11:14 - Oh, don't do it, Jeff.
11:15 Jeff, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
11:17 - Oh, dude, you look like Chipper Jones.
11:23 - I look like a, yeah, I look like a--
11:24 - Oh, dude.
11:26 Oh, that's so gross.
11:29 - I love hanging with the boys.
11:31 - Oh.
11:34 - What's that for?
11:35 - The boys.
11:36 - Hey, we were, we were--
11:37 - Dude, I feel so bad I made you eat the majority of this.
11:40 - No!
11:40 - And whatever this question could be,
11:43 you will be eating this egg.
11:45 - I--
11:46 - And not because I hate you.
11:47 - Yeah, I don't wanna, yeah, I don't know what I think.
11:50 But I think the people do wanna hear
11:52 you answer this question.
11:53 - Okay.
11:54 - Who is one person moving to Chicago with you guys
11:57 that you wish would stay in New York?
12:00 And one person you wish was staying in New York
12:05 that would go to Chicago.
12:05 - I'll cut you a deal.
12:07 I'll answer somebody that I wish from New York was going.
12:10 We'll answer the other.
12:12 - Okay.
12:13 - And we'll each have a piece of egg.
12:15 Little piece.
12:16 - That's totally fine.
12:17 - It's you, Vibs.
12:18 - No, no, no, no, no. - It is.
12:19 I think you'd fit in well.
12:20 This show is great for me to get my face out there.
12:23 You have an account, a show that is one of the highest viewed
12:27 at the fucking pirate shit.
12:29 And no, I love using you.
12:32 - Thank you.
12:33 - Let's do this, man.
12:34 Oh, it looks so bad.
12:35 - I hate, I absolutely hate this century egg.
12:38 It just is so fucking bad.
12:39 - Cheers, pal.
12:40 - Nick, thank you for coming on the show.
12:41 - Yeah, man, this has been fucking awesome.
12:43 I'm so glad.
12:44 - Thank you for coming on the show.
12:45 I hope you enjoy Chicago.
12:47 I was gonna say I wrote a whole song for you, like a rhyme.
12:50 - That would've been awesome.
12:51 - I wrote you a poem before you leave.
12:52 - You have balls for me?
12:53 - No, I don't have balls. - Xanax.
12:55 - Yeah.
12:56 - Oh, yeah, I got you.
12:57 I'm Stalin, Joseph.
12:59 - Joseph.
13:00 - Oh, man.
13:03 - Fight it, fight it.
13:07 (gags)
13:09 - Oh, don't.
13:12 (gags)
13:14 - I should've just said I don't want to fight.
13:19 I should've just told the truth.
13:21 Oh my God, my vision's like blurry.
13:23 I'm seeing spots, I might faint.
13:25 - Yeah.
13:27 (groans)
13:29 - The taste is still up.
13:31 It's like the gunky-ass yolks in my teeth.
13:35 - Well, Nick.
13:36 (groans)
13:36 Nick, thank you for coming on the show.
13:38 - You can't even tell I thought it was bad.
13:39 You see that?
13:40 No chase, no face.
13:41 - You look great.
13:42 Your eyes aren't watery.
13:45 Well, Nick, thank you for coming on the show.
13:48 And remember, kids, tell the truth, or you'll die.
13:52 - Or tell the truth and you'll die.
13:53 - Yeah. - That's good.
13:54 (whooshing)
13:57 [BLANK_AUDIO]