Dave Portnoy Roots Against Team USA - August 12, 2024 - Barstool Rundown
John Rich | Barstool Rundown
Transcript
00:00Alright, rundown. It is I think the twelfth, twelfth of August. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I knew
00:09the ninth because I knew Ruff Rowdy. Um, brought to you by High Noon, the Vodka Iced Teas here.
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00:30if you haven't had them, try them. All right. Um, bunch to get to. First of all, I'm having
00:34a real tired day. Super tired. That's why I was late with you guys. Even I, because
00:39I just a noodle, an all time noodle. A lot of boating. I was back on the boat yesterday.
00:45Captain Dave takes a lot out of you when you're on the high seas, you know? Yeah. No, successful.
00:50Very successful. It's funny when the boat turns on, suddenly I can maneuver it like
00:55a champion. I was not much anybody could do. Fucking Dennis Conner couldn't have done anything
00:59with my boat when it didn't turn on. Anyways, uh, Olympic men's basketball, a lot to get
01:04to there. Great game. Steph Curry, the golden dagger or whatever you want to call it. Uh,
01:11I texted Dan immediately after, because I really do think this solidifies Steph Curry
01:20being the player of the generation or how LeBron, by the way, got the MVP is that shows
01:28you how he just, it's like China, the state run media, which he is a fan of China, by
01:34the way. Um, crazy. He got the MVP, but I mean, is it a game MVP or tournament MVP tournament?
01:41Well, he, I mean, but the last two were all cut when they, when they beat, uh, uh, I don't
01:48know. Serbia was LeBron. Yeah. He had a triple double in the non metal games. I don't care
01:55about that. Serbia was Steph to Steph scored 60 points in the last two games. He was like,
02:00it should have been Steph. It should have been Steph. You know, I Dave, I mean, listen,
02:05you're not wrong. Like a decade of LeBron's, uh, excellence in the NBA. The other guy's
02:11got four titles. Exactly. And I would say looking at the, how things shake out, like
02:19Katie goes to Golden state to get his ring and then he leaves. He can't win Dick. Listen,
02:26we're still talking like the super, like Katie and Devin Booker, as far as I'm, as
02:32my research notes, they're on the same fucking team and they stink. The, the Phoenix stinks.
02:39So Katie went to Brooklyn. Can't get past the first round. Can't do a Dick in Phoenix.
02:45So he had to go to Golden state to get his ring. You have to go to Curry. LeBron had
02:51to create a super team around himself to get rings Dwayne. So I was going to say Dwayne
02:57Ray Wade, that's wrong, but no, it's not wrong. It's not wrong. It's correct. Find yourself.
03:04You're kind of, you're kind of rambling here. You're rambling here. You're losing weight.
03:08He went to Miami. He went to Miami. He had to join Wade's super team. So he, in the Lakers,
03:18he hasn't made it past the first round. So Steph Curry wins with anybody around him.
03:23I, you guys are Dan, you're laughing. I think, I don't even think it's close. No, there's
03:28listen, LeBron. Can we talk about the game real quick? The, the, that was awesome to
03:33watch. And I was, I was actually rooting for LeBron and the fact that I was rooting for
03:37America, which you weren't Dave trader, Dave, you and shade Frank, just eating your fucking
03:43baguettes.
03:44I don't know. I don't know what Shaya and Frank's deal is. I'll tell you this. Well,
03:50chase and Nick's fan, right?
03:51Yeah. Che che bet on every team except the U S here's my point on rooting against the,
03:58first of all, I was, I was furious the way they treat Tatum. And I don't get this team
04:01comes together for two weeks. They're guys on their team. Uh, LeBron, you suddenly want
04:07me to root for that piece of shit. No, I can't do it. He's been a rival of mine forever.
04:11There's other guys like on the team who I don't like. I'm trying to think there's one
04:15other that we have. Listen, you can say whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is when
04:19France played against the U S the United States of America, Davy boy went for France and that
04:26should be written and talked about and yelled from the mountain. And then I went, I'll never
04:30forget it.
04:31And then I went from again against the women. I was getting ready to go absolutely bananas.
04:39No, the, the Olympics are a joke. Let's just be honest about that. If they played Tatum,
04:46you wouldn't have, you wouldn't have been correct. Yes. Okay. But that's what it comes
04:49out to. But in the women, I was rooting against them no matter what. But the Olympics are
04:53not, the Olympics are not a joke anymore. It's very competitive. Like the rest of the
04:58world is caught up. I mean, the gold medal, I don't care about sport. The only sports
05:03I care about in the Olympics are sports that only matter once every four years. I don't
05:08care about basketball basket. It's not the premier. You don't care when, when you don't
05:14care about the, uh, when we beat Russia in 1980 hockey timeout, timeout, that was amateurs.
05:22Okay. That was before that. No, the hockey world cup may be more important than the Olympics,
05:31but how can you say like, dude, it's, it's, it's our one chance for USA basketball to play
05:37against everyone else. It's fun. It was an awesome game. Awesome tournament. Would you
05:41rather the bulls when the NBA, but that doesn't mean it can't matter. It doesn't matter if it's
05:50no, if the NBA championship matters, I understand that Dave, but all right. So would you rather win
05:55a Superbowl or an NBA championship Superbowl? All right. Then the NBA championship doesn't
06:00I'm saying the same. No, that was lame. Same sport, but Dave, it still can be something
06:07saying you have to say it's the most important thing in the sport ever did. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
06:15I chose not to be in the moment. My allegiance is my allegiance to the Celtics far out. Well,
06:20so I'm actually, if, if, if, if I was a Celtics fan, I might, I would probably be more like Dave.
06:27I don't know if I'd be eating the baguettes and all out. The guy just won a title. Yeah.
06:32Fucked by somebody. And that's, and you know, this goes away and I, and my guy comes back to me,
06:37I got to have his back. I would probably be the same way. Yes. But, but I said, and that was my
06:42lead point there. You, you, your team, I'm not saying this to be a mean person. No, your teams
06:51are never involved. So you just came off like a championship and you've been following this guy
06:57and you get over the hump to see him humiliated like this. I would hope you would have the
07:01dignity and strength. I wouldn't yourself to be like, fuck team USA. But I said it to you last
07:06week. This is actually a blessing for you because now you've got a guy. Yeah, I am happy to be so
07:11motivated. Like you got embarrassed. He didn't get screwed. I agree with you that he got, he
07:16definitely should have played. So, so now what's my problem? You Cheyenne Frank. I don't know. No,
07:22I had so many trade. I'm not going to say names because I, we don't do that here in Boston. We
07:27don't do that here in Boston, but I had so many texts and emails being like, thank you from inner
07:33circle Celtics. People being like, I love this team. I'm sure, dude, that is so fucking humiliating.
07:39Bring your family over there and horrible. You gear like BJ Lynn Brown. I'd rather not be on the
07:44team. Right? Absolutely. You could go live, do whatever you want with your life, travel,
07:48have fun with your friends, family. Instead, you just sit there and then you get a fucking DNP.
07:53Like you can't even earn like that. It's one thing. If it's like, Hey, we're here to win
07:59and you haven't been playing well to not play somebody is five minutes, six minutes. Yeah.
08:08Steve Kerr deserves his nose broke. I listened to Dave. I agree with you. Tatum is the fact that
08:15Tatum couldn't play is ridiculous to me. I completely agree. Like I said, I really truly
08:19hope if, if you ever reached the pinnacle with the bulls that in, in this happens, you will be
08:27like, I wonder you have to go back. You said you, we've talked about this in the green room. You
08:31were like, uh, what if a bull was on? I was like Zach Levine. I wouldn't care because I want them
08:35off the bulls. Yeah. Right. But like, I wonder how like Pistons fans felt with the dream team
08:41when I got snuck, fuck this team. Like, but still, okay. So, all right. So to just put a bow
08:50on it, like I agree with you, Tatum should have played it. It's ridiculous. He got embarrassed
08:54when Steph Curry is doing that in the last two minutes. How can you not feel something? Like I
08:59was, I was yelping on my couch. I was felt like I was sitting in front row at the Celtics when he
09:04did it in my face. Again, I was fucking crazy. I liked Steph Curry and that was amazing. I like,
09:10and Hey, I'm so excited. He solidified himself as the player of this generation. Good for him.
09:17He did that and he proved it because you know what? LeBron's never had a big shot in his life.
09:21He needed Kyrie. And yes, Kyrie did a shot for him. He can't hit those shots.
09:25A masterclass by Portnoy. Yeah. This was your finest work. As soon as the baguettes came out,
09:32I mean, if France wins, you're good. If, if, if USA wins, Hey, America won now with the icing on
09:38the cake, being that LeBron is no longer the generational player. This place, it's just,
09:43you know, it always comes up pages. Yeah. He, he had it. He had it all written out. All I'm
09:47going to say is I, I very much enjoyed the tournament and watching Katie LeBron and Steph,
09:51who have been so big for basketball for the last 20 years, have this last moment was cool.
09:56That's a sports fan in me. I don't know if there's anybody else out. If you're like
10:00really celebrating a bad metal, fucking weird. No, it's you do that. You do what we do. Like I
10:07said, at the start of the Olympics two weeks, they played together for two weeks when the
10:11Olympics start, people were like, Hey, are you a big Olympics guy? I'm like, yeah, if the U S
10:15wins, I'm going to fucking brag about it. And if they lose them, like, I don't care. That's how,
10:18that's how I judged all the Olympics. Right. Right. I have this third, but did you see LeBron
10:26young yell, scream at that young child and then immediately start dancing. The dancing was so
10:31funny. It was so funny. He's like, get the fuck out of here. And then he just started like
10:37fucking break dancing. Make space guys for King make space. Congratulations.
11:02The women's game, uh, almost an all time choke because while the men, I could see the men losing
11:14it, the women, they haven't even have like a, they've had like one game under four points in
11:18like 30 years or something crazy like that. Um, great game. I really wish I got so Diana Taurasi
11:28making it over Caitlin Clarke and playing zero minutes. And the time she's a hundred years old,
11:34I got so fired. I got my sixth medal. It's like, shut the fuck up, man. I got so fired up. I placed
11:40a hundred grand on the Indiana fever. I saw that thing to win 10.1 mil ever. I mean, not even one
11:46for WMBA. Oh my God. If you ever, I just mean in general, has anybody placed a bet on the WNBA
11:52that even, Oh yeah. No, no. Gotta be the biggest WNBA bet ever. Oh, we should have also Davey.
11:59I mean, if you even get to a place where you can hedge that.
12:02Listen, I was no, no hedge. You got to ride. I was such a big bet. I was fired up when I placed
12:08it, but there is logic behind it. They are, I think so. Yeah. They started one in nine. They're
12:1410 and they're, they're 10 and 13 or something. Now this is the first time she's gotten a rest
12:20and since playing in college, her and Aaliyah Boston are like pretty fucking good together.
12:25Now their odds are, they're going to make the playoffs. Are they in the playoffs right now?
12:30Yes. They're in the playoffs, right? And what do they do? They do like how many games in each
12:35series? Three. I think it's three. They already beat the number one team in New York. So yeah,
12:42she gets hot. Forget about it. So whatever, just they're the all, if you get $10 million off of
12:48Katelyn Clark, I'm going to fucking explode. Insane. So we should have mentioned, by the way,
12:53there was one other story from the men's that we should throw out there. Fucking
12:57Yoke, which is the best ever. Did you see that Serbia won the bronze and they went straight to
13:02the bar and got fucking shit faced and then showed up for the metal ceremony. Like yoga looked like
13:08he was going to puke at the metal ceremony. They were all bombed. And then like, it was probably
13:14five hours later. He was at the horse track. I saw him at the horse. There's a lady with like a
13:18camera right in his face. He's wearing a, he's wearing a tank top, drinking a beer.
13:22Like that's what I do. I would rush to the horse track. The, the clip of Yoka. There's one clip
13:27where like one of his teammates, like kind of put them in a little bit of a choke hold at the metal
13:31ceremony. And it looked like he was going to puke everywhere. That's how drunk they were.
13:35Um, speaking of horses, by the way, we have Dylan Davis wearing barstool pants.
13:40Let's go. You're good. And he won a grade one. He's been on fire. Uh, and he, and you're taller
13:45than him. You know, posted that like the fat Jew. Remember that guy? Yeah. Wait, you know,
13:55the guy from like 10 years ago. Yeah. He's like Jay Porter. I was so small. He came out. It's
14:00like, I think he came out from death. He like he, he unburied himself just to post. I don't know if
14:08I have beef with him or not. Um, simply safe. If you're like me, you're constantly thinking about
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15:06There's no place like simply safe before we move on another generational question. This always
15:11happened to basketball, but Steve Kerr is going to be the luckiest human ever. He's done nothing
15:18right place, right time sperm. I don't know that 2015 team didn't have a super team.
15:25I mean, he's, he's always, whether it's the, or is the, he just, it's kind of a Phil Jackson
15:33thing. You, you know, I mean like, dude, dude, him or does, does he follow rings?
15:38Yeah. I mean, you, you have to have good players to win a championship. I don't know about any
15:43coach ever. He, he, he, as a player and a coach, he, he plays the role well of how to win
15:49championships. Yeah. You got to have good players, but like super team. I understand what you're
15:55saying, but the 2022 and the 2015 titles were not super teams. And again, that's the year they beat
16:04us. Yeah. I mean, clay stuff. Those are drafted guys. When you, when you draft well, he didn't
16:15draft then did he? It wasn't Mark Jackson there. No, but I mean, Mark GM drafted him, but like,
16:22the cups are already Jackson. Didn't do Mark Jackson. Didn't win a title with them.
16:27They took them out right when they were getting good. I don't know, Dave, I listen, Steve Kerr
16:31has definitely been around some very talented guys. You're just being on lip. You're just
16:36defending. What are you talking about? You know, it come, they come right to the defense. I mean,
16:44everything, everything in your brain is, is politics. How does that even have to do with
16:50politics? It was a joke. He's yeah. He's a bum. I do think he's a bum. I think, I think he's a bum.
17:03I was neutral on him. Exactly. Exactly. Now I think he's a bum. I think he's an arrogant bum.
17:10I don't like that first speech. I'm such an idiot. How did I not get him in the game? Then
17:13you do it again. Then you do it again. Math problem. Let eight less minutes break dancing.
17:19People were going crazy on this break dancer. I like who cares? I mean, I, to me, you could
17:26told me she was a great break dancer. I was been fine. Yeah. I don't know. Even if you don't know
17:31about break dancing, you look at her. It was, it was very bad. She was bad. She was really bad.
17:37She had some sob story. I thought it was kind of funny at first. It was almost like
17:40a Sasha Baron Cohen thing. Like somebody like snuck into the Olympics, but then she had some
17:44sob story about like how hard it was for white people to break dance and how hard it was to get.
17:50And then it just, she's like a, she's like a woke professor that like wrote about as a PhD in break
17:56dancing. Whatever the fuck that means. She should have just been like, how does anybody take the
18:01Olympic service? I know. Well, I also learned from Jeff and I'm anti-American and we got break
18:06dancing. We got a van lift with a three on van lift as an Olympic gold medal. And Caitlin Clark
18:12hasn't been to the Olympics. Like is the whole thing so stupid, but I didn't realize it was
18:16actually a one and done that like, yeah, France chose it to be an Olympic thing. And then LA,
18:21it's not going to happen. So it really was just like a one-time thing. And then you get to pick
18:26all in football and all that very dumb. Yeah. The, the, I thought when I first saw the clip,
18:31I was like, Oh, this is just break dancing. But then I saw some clips of the actual break dancers.
18:35They're fucking insane. They were guys spinning on his head for like three minutes.
18:39Yeah. The guys can do, I still genuinely think there are guys like on the subway in New York
18:43city that could compete a hundred percent. Like don't need the training. The women was
18:48a tough watch. The guys could do some cool shit, but I think there are legit,
18:51like homeless guys who could smoke it. Um, do you guys see that it was Matt Kuchar? What he did?
18:57What a dick. What is it? Why people hate golf? Like shit like this. This is what they think of.
19:03So for those who didn't see Matt's culture, it's the Wyndham tournament. He's out of it.
19:08They have weather issues. He's on the last hole. He tees off into the group in front of them.
19:13It's getting dark. And he says, I'm not going to finish everyone else on the turn finishes.
19:18He finished this morning at like 8 AM all time funny clip, by the way,
19:23like putting in, you hear like a couple of scattered.
19:37And you know, there was probably someone who had to like go to work today when they didn't think
19:41a lot of people. Yeah. All that shit. Oh, what a dick to finish. Like what? Plus one or whatever
19:47it was. Get the fuck out of here. He finished 12th and he met nothing. People were like,
19:51oh, well, you could win 50 grand more. The, his reasoning was he wanted to show the younger
19:57golfers he was golfing with that you like, we shouldn't be playing in dangerous conditions.
20:03Then the other guy's just finished out. Why you're on the, I understand if you're on like
20:06the 15th hole and it's, it's getting dark. He literally had two shots left and whatever
20:1350 grand is not worth being looking like. And he's like Matt Kuchar is a pretty,
20:18pretty accomplished golfer. I 60 million. And he didn't win it by the way. He didn't
20:22get the extra 50 grand. He just fucking, he stayed 12. Is he a known jerk? Yes. I think he is. I think
20:28there's stories about him tipping very poorly and shit like that. So, so a known jerk Matt,
20:34no jerk Matt Kuchar. Um, last one, this was a Chicago story. A lady, I didn't even know she
20:41stole $1.5 million worth of chicken wings. It was during COVID ordering like
20:47bushels of chicken wings that was supposed to go to the school, I guess. And she was taking
20:52herself. I don't know if she was then reselling. I don't know what you do with these chicken wings.
20:56She was reselling the, the, so when COVID was happening, the schools were shut down.
21:00Some kids were still getting food delivered to their house. And so she was ordering just
21:05millions of chicken wings and they, so Stu, you, it initially you'd be like perfect crime,
21:11but apparently they caught it because she was owning the bone in chicken wings and they don't
21:16serve those at school. Cause it's like a choking hazard. So that's how they caught,
21:20like, how do you fuck that up? Just get the chicken nuggets.
21:23And nobody's at, no one's in the school cafeteria eating the bone wing nuggets.
21:29You know, it's crazy. She got nine years in jail for this. I feel like you hear like the FTX guy
21:35got like, Oh yeah. Nine years. Yeah. 1.5 million. You hear like sentences where people like murder
21:44somebody. They don't get nine years. Whoa, wait, what the fuck?
21:49In Chicago. I feel like you're getting a car, carjack. They don't go out. No, they don't.
21:55But this late nine years for stealing chicken wing.
21:58Got to make, you got to make a, you got to make a statement. You got to look, I don't know.
22:03Nobody else is going to steal chicken wings ever again. I'll tell you that much.
22:061.5 million dollars in chicken wings. That's impressive. Like you are the chicken wing bandit.
22:12I don't. And even doing this rundown as many years, it takes a lot because I'm putting the
22:17thing, but that headline, I'm like, what? 1.5 million. You dive, right? It is like,
22:21I got to figure out how this happened, but how do you do the bone in?
22:25Like, that's such a simple thing. You just can't know. This thing is a perfect crime.
22:29It was. Yeah. You just get the chick. You get one point. She would still be buying the chicken
22:33nuggets if she, if she fucking just did that. Crazy. Got two, two ahead of herself.
22:38Po show. We had a brawl at rough and rowdy. I was saying that was unbelievable moment. I'm glad
22:45that even though you said that the Ables called me a cheap Jew, is that what they called me?
22:50I did. Yeah. There was a video and they were calling me bitch cat. Yeah. I'm after I had
22:55said I would pay for their bail, which they didn't get arrested. And then they threatened to sue us
23:00for saying they got arrested, even though we were just commenting on the fact that they were
23:05handcuffed in front of us, did not get arrested. So just have it on the record. The Abel brothers
23:10did not get arrested when you, when Dan was like, Oh, the Abel brothers are getting arrested. And
23:14Bob Fox goes, well, yeah, of course it was awesome. Oh, we got a brawl. We got a full brawl.
23:21Oh my God. Holy shit. We got cops in the ring. Oh no. The Abel brothers are getting arrested.
23:40Of course they are. Yeah. The Abel brothers could pretty much do anything and I'd still
23:45like them. They could call me any name until they're again, they're saying I cheaped out.
23:49First of all, let's clarify the Abel brothers got screwed in the decision. He clearly won the fight
23:56and they, he got cheap shotted by somebody, Michael and Mikey bets crew. So he had every
24:03right to throw the pun. So the Abel brothers were in the right on both time, Mikey bets,
24:07celebrate like he knocked them out. I guess he won the fight, but nobody with two eyeballs
24:13thought he won that fight. Nope. Is there's a loser leaves town still stand like they can never
24:19fight again. Oh, you can't. I love the Abel brothers. I was, I knew this was going to happen.
24:25You can't have a loser leaves town. He won the fight. That's the thing. I think they have to
24:31fight again. And the, the fight again, but it's the same. I'd be down for that next time. If you
24:40try to do this again, people are going to go, Oh, well, he clearly won the fight. He got rigged.
24:44I don't think I rigged the decision. They were like, who did you pay off? It's like, do you guys
24:50understand rough and rowdy? Like we say on the broadcast that we have no clue what these refs
24:55are looking at half the time or even how they score the fight. How can any judge be like actually
25:01scoring these fights? They're ridiculous. Like when I said split decision, I was stunned. Um,
25:06they also continually, they keep being like, how about you give us $10,000. I'm like, no.
25:14And then they just say, I owe it to him. So like that, that, I love him though, dude. I love him.
25:20Spencer Abel get like, he was legitimately, I saw him before we went nose to nose before I went
25:25to call the fights. And he was like, you didn't come to my birthday party or something. He was
25:29like, you for what happened with my birthday. I was like, I don't know what you're talking about,
25:33but they're just, there's something about them. They're just, they're, they're,
25:36they're a little, little bit of, you know, shady stuff, but I don't care. I love them. They're
25:40just, they got a Genesee qua that when he had 16 cops on his back, he looked as calm as ever.
25:48Yeah. He was waving. He was waving to the camera. Like I've been here before. He just in the K the,
25:54the melee in the ring and just all like he bets crew. Yeah. Yeah. Frank, we almost lost him.
26:02Yeah. Did you see Frank at the fucking Frank? I don't understand. The guy just doesn't quit.
26:07He was, he had a, he was at a fucking rodeo the next day. I saw that Frank has ever,
26:14there was a bull Frank, the tank. There may be multiple Frank, the tanks at this point, he is
26:18everywhere. The rodeo clip was just like, all right, we got this bull Frank, the tank. And I
26:23was like, Oh, that's cool. And then they just show Frank sitting front row with a cowboy hat. It was
26:28like hours after the melee at Ruffin rowdy. Yeah. He is everywhere. Thrown out first pitches,
26:34rodeos, may lays the man's everywhere. All right. Incredible. That's all we got.