Handsome Hank | Viva TV
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00:00It's just all prison ball.
00:02I don't want to get hurt.
00:04If I get hurt, I will pursue.
00:06I'm just saying.
00:16Barstool Summer Games kicking off here.
00:18I got tasked to run it. We got nine events.
00:20Six per team, three teams. Brandon, Titus,
00:22Jerry, the captains.
00:24First day, we got archery, archery,
00:26throwing balls against a Velcro wall.
00:28We have pickleball. We have sumo wrestling.
00:30We have a 4x4 relay tomorrow.
00:32We have like a shooting type thing.
00:34We also have 3x3 basketball.
00:36We have handball. We have a triathlon.
00:38A lot of strategy from the captains.
00:40And then one champ at the end.
00:42I've worked here long enough to know that refereeing
00:44is not as simple as just putting the stripes on.
00:46It's a lot of controversy.
00:48So yeah, luckily there's no monetary prize on the line
00:50that my co-workers will blame me for robbing them of.
00:52So, stick with us.
00:54This is the last time I'm going to tell you this.
00:56I'm going to continue to protect my knees my first time.
00:58And it's good. It's good.
01:00It's good. It's good.
01:02We need all this.
01:08I always rep my cousins.
01:10You like your team?
01:12I like them all except for Nicky Smokes as being a whiny bitch diva.
01:14Have you lifted weights? Have you lifted?
01:16Nope. I haven't touched a weight in about 12 years.
01:18I'm just naturally gifted
01:20at most things.
01:22Including...
01:24But not limited to lifting weights.
01:26Alright. That's good to know.
01:28I have to work from after 8.
01:30But, you know.
01:32Some of us are mere mortals.
01:34Watch this.
01:38Get the fuck out of here.
01:40Look how hairy his arms are.
01:42Look how hairy his arms are.
01:44Looks like my scrotum.
01:50Don't look at Eddie's legs. He shaves his legs.
01:52Does he really?
01:54It looks as if he does.
02:00Why don't you keep...
02:02Stick with your own team.
02:04We got plenty of leg hair to go around as a team.
02:06This team's going to be a fucking problem.
02:08Just mouthy.
02:10Because we're good at shit, we're going to be a problem?
02:22Woo!
02:26Woo!
02:28What is the imagery supposed to be?
02:30I'm not sure. How does the torchbearer usually come in?
02:32All white?
02:34He looks like the Michelin man.
02:36Why is he in all white?
02:38What is he supposed to be?
02:40Woo!
02:54Come on, Jackie.
02:56That's what we do.
02:58That's why we game plan like that.
03:00Yee!
03:02Yee!
03:18A little sumo action.
03:22Can I get on my knees?
03:24I'm just going down like a rock.
03:26Good luck flipping me over.
03:28This is not sumo.
03:30This is Mario Party bumper balls.
03:32I actually kind of like it.
03:38Stay down, Ed!
03:40Stay down, Ed!
03:42Stay Stevie!
03:44He's out!
03:46He's out!
03:48My feet never touch!
03:54Yee!
03:56Yee!
04:00Game war.
04:02It's all on eBay.
04:04Sumo's not safe. We stop it after one. It's over.
04:06These things are popping.
04:08Stop the count.
04:10I'm just the official. It's not on me.
04:14I think we stop it at one.
04:16We keep everybody safe.
04:18You guys definitely had an agreement.
04:20You guys both were just staring at me right before the match started.
04:22Fucking paranoid.
04:24You probably had an agreement against me.
04:26No, not at all.
04:28Are you going to win?
04:30He said, yes, I'm good at everything.
04:32That's what Nicky Smokes texted me this morning.
04:34Pussy ass fucking event.
04:36Play me in some real shit, old man.
04:38What are the rules?
04:50The game's changing.
04:52And that's my dressing room.
04:58You're going again.
05:00Going again.
05:02Going again.
05:04That was good though.
05:06That was good.
05:08It just fucked you at the end.
05:10You'll be fine.
05:12Go lower.
05:14Wow, chaps, you can't see nothing.
05:22Chaps!
05:24Get your feet out.
05:26Get your feet out.
05:28Get their feet out.
05:30Get their feet out.
05:32Get their feet out.
05:34Get their feet out.
05:36Get their feet out.
05:38He's in.
05:40He's in.
05:42Move his leg out.
05:44Chaps.
05:46No, you're good, chaps.
05:48No.
05:50Good fight, chaps.
05:52Good fight.
05:54I should have stopped the fight, you're right.
05:56But you know what?
05:58One of my least favorite things when I'm watching MMA
06:00or UFC is when they stop the fight too early.
06:02So if they're going to put me in stripes,
06:04we're going to let it run full through.
06:06I'm requiring my blue representative
06:08to get white out and then y'all go at it.
06:10Yeah, but this better not be...
06:12This is family right here.
06:14Handshake.
06:16This is family.
06:18Handshake.
06:20Let's go.
06:24He's a genius.
06:26He's a genius.
06:28Oh, Rudy stabs him in the back.
06:30You know that.
06:32That's gutless.
06:34We had a plan.
06:36Who's out that I pushed you out?
06:38I thought we were going to reset.
06:40Family, handshakes.
06:42Handshakes.
06:44He pushed him out.
06:46Absolutely gutless.
06:48Why wouldn't I have all of these plans?
06:50Rudy did what he needed to do to win.
06:52He was in the battlefield.
06:54He knew what to do.
06:56Rules of engagement.
06:58Handshakes mean nothing.
07:00I sit him out and then you go mano a mano.
07:02Not like you pushed him out
07:04and then I pushed him out.
07:06That's what Team Yellow stands for.
07:08Team Yellow stands for...
07:10They're fucking cheaters.
07:12Why are they coming for me?
07:14You're afraid of me?
07:16We had an agreement where we get Mincy out
07:18and then me and Chief go at it.
07:20Mincy went out.
07:22Because you had the least amount of points.
07:24It wasn't like we hate you.
07:26It was just you had the least amount of points.
07:28He got pushed out
07:30and then I pushed Chief out.
07:32You played fair.
07:34Not really.
07:36They read the deal as they would get him out
07:38and then reset.
07:40That was never part of the deal.
07:42You guys talk it over.
07:44I'm rooting for Maddie.
07:46She deserves it.
07:48I'm worried about Stevie being too amped up.
07:50Stevie!
08:00Stevie!
08:06Stevie!
08:08Stevie!
08:14Go Stevie mode!
08:40His body is shutting down
08:42and it's sad to see he's ready for bed.
08:44And that is it.
08:46The gold medal to blue.
08:487-0 sweep.
08:50We are tied up 6 points apiece
08:52after day 1.
08:54You gotta love it.
08:56It's unbelievable. It's like the Kansas Cheer Team.
08:58A handful of sixes.
09:02So what are the official sports today?
09:04Target practice, relay basketball.
09:06Wait, what's target practice?
09:08How do you know it's relay?
09:10How do you know it's relay?
09:12Why does Jeff DeLo tell you?
09:14Because I was out there.
09:16He doesn't tell me. I'm the captain.
09:18I hate all of y'all.
09:20So I'm assuming target practice is what? Airsoft guns?
09:22Alright, so we got airsoft guns
09:24which you should be good at because you're a redneck.
09:26It's not guns you idiot.
09:28You colossal massive idiot.
09:30I've never met a person as dumb as you.
09:32That's cap.
09:34Let's go. Day 2.
09:36Office Olympics.
09:38I did my wrestling performance yesterday.
09:40I think they're going to bury me in that suit at this point.
09:50What are you going to do?
10:04Can I piss in this thing?
10:06You sound like a snow globe.
10:08I've never run in an environment like this.
10:10It's new to me.
10:12Madeline, I'm going to make you feel better.
10:14It's new to all of us.
10:16I've never run in this thing.
10:18It's four laps. Can you just sprint the whole time
10:20or is it too long for that?
10:22I just don't know if it's too long.
10:24You should sprint the whole time.
10:26We can't afford to take it easy.
10:28I don't know what to think.
10:30I don't know if this four laps is short or long
10:32as far as can you sprint the whole time
10:34Good job, Madeline.
11:04Go!
11:28Go, go, go!
11:34Go!
11:52Can somebody unzip this?
12:00I'm a long distance runner, not a sprinter.
12:02That should hurt.
12:04I'm a distance runner, not a sprinter.
12:06My hamstrings are hurting.
12:08I need some water.
12:14If I get hurt, I will sue.
12:16I'm just saying.
12:18If ACL goes, pony up, Dave.
12:20I'm coming for everything.
12:32I love that shot.
12:54This isn't basketball, whatever this is.
12:56I can't help you at this game.
13:02Uh-oh.
13:12Come on, reset.
13:14You're taking bad shots.
13:16That's a good shot.
13:18You're taking bad shots.
13:20Don't worry about me.
13:22I've got to worry about you.
13:24You're on the team.
13:28That's the Nicky Smoke experience.
13:30It's just all prison ball.
13:32The more I think the only thing
13:34that can happen if I get out there
13:36is just I will get hurt.
13:38And I don't want to get hurt.
13:40And now people watching this will say,
13:42you're kind of a pussy.
13:44And I'll say, I'm not kind of a pussy.
13:46I'm a pussy.
13:50So is Brenna Walker.
14:00What the fuck was that?
14:04Something popped.
14:06I felt like something hit me in the back.
14:10Can you get up?
14:12Do you need help?
14:14You're in.
14:16Take it back, that was not a walk.
14:24No, I'm 100% serious.
14:30I'm 100% serious.
14:54I hit the winning shot.
14:56What's the word?
14:58It's bad?
15:00It could be Achilles, it could be a calf.
15:02I felt like somebody
15:04I felt like somebody got a ball loose.
15:06Like was throwing a ball back and forth
15:08and they missed the catch.
15:10And it hit me in the back, that's why I went down.
15:12I started looking backwards and then I realized.
15:14Fuck, man.
15:16Not good.
15:18It's not like excruciating pain.
15:20I think Achilles is excruciating.
15:22It feels up here.
15:24Achilles is down lower.
15:26We're hopeful for a straight calf.
15:30Hi, I'm Riggs.
15:32I'm a blogger for Barstool Sports.
15:34I think maybe showing that I had
15:36an inkling of athletic ability was a mistake.
15:38Because now I am the person
15:40replacing the person with an Achilles injury.
15:42So maybe I'm next up on that.
15:44So, fingers crossed.
15:46I'm winning it all on the line.
15:48Win one for Riggs.
15:50The third and final event
15:52of today's Thursday, final day
15:54of the Barstool Summer Games
15:56will be a triathlon.
15:58You will have to lift these weights up
16:00and pull them from this line you see here
16:02to the one behind our great cameraman Harry.
16:04The second event will be two laps around
16:06the red line.
16:08The third station will be these pineapples you see here.
16:10You will have to knock down all three.
16:12And here we go, the triathlon begins.
16:14White Sox Dave is going to be pulling something
16:16but I don't know if it's going to be those weights.
16:19White Sox Dave
16:21gets one pineapple down.
16:23The triathlon ends here.
16:25Harry knocks down three.
16:27Here goes Evo for blue.
16:29Evo is going to get the weight
16:31lifted to the end line.
16:33After that he has two laps to go.
16:43Not even close right now.
16:49Evo, over a minute now.
16:51He's got one more pineapple to go.
16:53There goes Rudy.
16:55He starts it out for yellow.
17:03That's like a pop-a-shot motion.
17:05Oh that works though.
17:07That's knocked down and all three go down.
17:09That will leave them in the lead.
17:11Get the trombone playing.
17:14Slow.
17:18Alright, it is a turtle race
17:20for Stephen Che.
17:25Che, the big man.
17:34Che will finish up.
17:36He will need very quick throws here.
17:39Che,
17:41across the line, powerful and strong.
17:43Blue needs a big time
17:45score from Che.
17:47He's booking it
17:49around the curve.
17:53Chess passes from Che. He knocks one down.
17:57The time needed
17:59for yellow to win gold
18:01is one minute
18:03and eleven seconds.
18:06Out.
18:08He's really quick
18:10right now.
18:14KB,
18:16final lap in the triathlon.
18:18Yellow will re-debark their summer game
18:20to win gold. One-eleven
18:22is the time we're looking for.
18:27That's one.
18:30That's two.
18:33KB.
18:35Yellow wins the
18:37Boston Summer Games. They win gold
18:39in triathlon and that
18:41wraps it up.
18:43How much money did we win?
18:45Oh, not a goddamn thing.
18:47Did we get to meet the president?
18:49Did we get to meet Dave?
18:51Did we get his phone number?
18:59We're the best team and that's why
19:01I walked away with these and they walked around with
19:03participation. People are saying that you're the new Jesse Owens.
19:05I'm honored
19:07to hear that.
19:09Piss poor on Team White's
19:11end, but lead from the front.
19:13I still think we should have had
19:15a draft. I don't want to name no names
19:17on the team, but there was some
19:19bad athleticism
19:21shown.
19:25I know everyone's like, Brandon's
19:27an asshole. He's mean to production people.
19:29He's mean to behind the scenes people.
19:31And he is.
19:37He's not that bad of a guy.
19:39That's nice.
19:41He's not even that bad.
19:59That was fucking
20:01so sick.