Dave & Chuck the Freak received an e-mail from a listener who is wondering how he should proceed in the bedroom with his extremely sensitive girlfriend. The show isn't sold on how amazing this guy is at sex, but he seems to believe he's doing things that no one has ever done before.
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00:00uh next message that came in uh this guy says so i met an amazing girl we've been dating for
00:08three months we're in our mid-30s somewhat inexperienced she's only had two previous
00:14partners i've have four so i've been using her to discover new things about both of us
00:21but i think i might be going too fast and doing too much for instance she is very sensitive all
00:28over her body so i can stimulate her over the edge simply by licking any number of parts
00:35she can even be fully clothed while i'm doing it obviously penetrative sex works too
00:42it's funny when you tease this this coming up i thought you meant sensitive as in like
00:48emotionally sensitive you would cry easily but of course it's our sexually so it's sexually
00:53sensitive yeah yeah i can lick her cardigan and rinse it off she can be wearing a
01:00i can bump into her while she's wearing a parka crazy time her previous partners didn't never
01:07did anything like this so it's all new to her and i've been upping the ante every time we have sex
01:12because it's been fun well last night i did something new i used my mouth both hands and
01:19one foot on her simultaneously a foot is he playing twister with her what's going on mouth both hands
01:25one foot jeez she went over the edge three times in a row and the sounds coming from her were beyond
01:35insane it was like an exorcism afterwards she was lying in the bed fully nude basically paralyzed from
01:43the feeling until i had to pick her up and put her in the shower
01:46this guy
01:50quite a sexual experience he's having
01:53he's hamming it up a bit i think your lady's trying to make you feel good
01:58i think you're right she's that overacting
02:00she hasn't had that many people
02:01no no no
02:02and then yeah she needs picked up and carried into the shower
02:05she's a really good actress
02:06i carried her limp body to the shower
02:09oh yeah look what i've done to you my lady with my sexual prowess
02:13come on
02:14i apologize
02:15get this guy a lunk alarm
02:17yeah exactly
02:18oh my god
02:20that's that's special
02:21that is funny
02:22i think she's doing it to make him feel good
02:25she 100% is doing it
02:26that's hilarious that she made him carry her in the shower
02:29he says i'm actually kind of worried that i'm doing too much to her
02:35i'm worried that i might be too good at sex
02:39i didn't ask for this
02:49that's a super power
02:50to be the best at sex
02:52humble brag
02:53i don't know how to handle my powers
02:57sometimes
02:58just to be the best
03:00you don't know what it's like
03:01until you're there
03:01carrying a woman into the shower
03:03put her into a coma
03:04her almost lifeless body
03:06to bring her back around
03:08put her into a sexual coma
03:10she probably didn't have one
03:12right exactly
03:13she didn't
03:14she didn't have one
03:15we all know she didn't have one
03:16come on
03:17she's like what are you doing with your foot
03:19his foot
03:21what does this guy do like
03:22where was his foot
03:24i was trying to figure out mouth
03:26two hands and the foot
03:28right
03:28where would everything be
03:30kiss
03:31boobs
03:32and then diddling
03:33diddling with the toe
03:35got something right here for you jason
03:37this guy's like
03:37i am a love master
03:38but if he can get her there with his toe
03:41he's like the mr miyaki of love
03:44i know
03:44like the foot
03:45like what is he even doing
03:47okay
03:48he was doing the crane
03:49yeah i know
03:50he was doing the crane
03:51let's say he's legit
03:53and he gets her there with his toe
03:55sure
03:56are you impressed
03:58no
03:59i don't believe it
04:00i don't believe it's possible
04:02it's not possible
04:02what did he say
04:03so he said mouth both hands
04:05and one foot
04:05all at once
04:07simultaneously
04:07he needed all that
04:09in order to
04:09he did
04:10to do the job
04:10maybe she passed out
04:12and went limp
04:12because of how scary he looked
04:14trying to contort himself
04:16into that
04:16this guy's apparently like
04:17how he
04:18he does sex like
04:19neil pert does the drums
04:20i guess
04:21i don't know how he's doing
04:22he's taking it down a little bit
04:24finished her right into a coma
04:26finish his email here
04:28am i doing myself a disservice
04:30by pushing the bar so high
04:33right
04:33he's too good
04:34oh my god this guy
04:35he's too good
04:36oh
04:37save some for the rest of us pal
04:39my god given talents
04:41would bring her to
04:41a medical emergency
04:43i don't know
04:44quick to the shower with you
04:46i'm too good
04:47the foot was too much
04:48he's got a refiver in the shower
04:50splashing cold water on her
04:51come around
04:52do you need smelling salts
04:53stay with me
04:56stay with me
04:57i'll get you an IV
04:58you need more fluids
04:59oh man
05:00oh
05:02you can hear me
05:03squeeze my finger
05:04right
05:05he says
05:06i definitely can't
05:07keep this up forever
05:08this guy's great
05:11oh my god
05:13everyone is so delusional
05:15i'm amazed
05:16he's like
05:17i'm honestly terrified
05:18of the orgasm
05:19i'm capable of giving you
05:21it's gonna be too hardcore
05:24an orgasm for
05:25he says
05:28i know i can't keep this up forever
05:31but experimenting is a lot of fun
05:33and she can do it over and over
05:35all my previous partners were typical in their sensitivity
05:38with this girl it's next level
05:41so i'm wondering if i should tone it back to more vanilla stuff
05:45or dive even deeper into more uncharted territory
05:49i mean what's it gonna do with this other foot
05:51yeah i know
05:52oh my god
05:52oh my god
05:56oh
05:57oh he does go into detail
05:58i didn't notice there's a little like
06:00at the bottom
06:00you got a diagram
06:01the areas he stimulated last night
06:04were small of her back with his hand
06:06okay
06:06okay
06:07inside the badge with his other hand
06:09okay
06:10licking the button
06:12and with his foot
06:13he was tickling the back of her knee
06:16is this man made of rubber
06:19how the hell
06:21oh my knee
06:23it's like making love to stretch on strong
06:28i know
06:28i know
06:28this guy's got
06:29you got mr fantastic in the sack
06:31choking to death
06:32a knee
06:36yeah
06:36so he's doing all that
06:39he's got this going
06:40and then he's like
06:41and what if
06:42i twist this leg around
06:44wow
06:44that's a spot right there
06:48oh my god
06:49jason's trying to put it all together here
06:51so
06:51small of her back with your hand
06:54well i'm trying to picture what
06:55what position she's in
06:56like she can't be laying on her back
06:58she has to be right
07:00so is he on his back
07:02and she's like
07:04sitting on his
07:05his
07:05no she has to be
07:07laying
07:08the only way this works
07:09is if it's like
07:10he's got a he's got a fake leg
07:11and he's like
07:12taking the fake leg
07:13and taking the back of her leg
07:15i don't understand
07:16the back of her knee
07:17yeah
07:18a human leg doesn't bend like that
07:20yeah so
07:22wait
07:23okay so
07:23let's try and
07:24so
07:25he says
07:25by the way
07:26in case the discussion requires it
07:28her sensitive lick areas include
07:29okay
07:31neck
07:32ears
07:32small of the back
07:33clavicle
07:34nipples
07:34toes
07:35palms
07:35inner knee
07:36outside of her crotch
07:37inside of her crotch
07:38he went through detail
07:39and wrote every single spot
07:41there it is
07:42there it is
07:43also bh
07:44he's like
07:45i'm honestly terrified
07:46to touch her ankle
07:46he's named off
07:49every body part
07:50this man thinks
07:51because he touched
07:51the part of her knee
07:52that he has unlocked
07:53a sex move
07:54that like
07:55even the kama sutra
07:56hasn't even ever
07:56he's like
07:59it's dangerous
07:59it should be
08:00kept secret
08:01i mean it sounds to me
08:02like she's just
08:02really ticklish
08:03and every time
08:04she reacts to that
08:04he thinks
08:05he finished her
08:06now he's an engineer
08:07he said
08:07i've done the math
08:08of course he's an engineer
08:10of course he's an engineer
08:12this guy just keeps
08:13getting better
08:14the best lovers
08:14are engineers
08:15we all know that
08:16Lisa wears that shirt
08:19all the time
08:19engineers are the best lovers
08:21that's what they always say
08:22that's why he broke it all down
08:23yeah
08:24if i find out a woman's been
08:25with an engineer
08:26i don't even try
08:26it does explain how he figured
08:29out the foot problem
08:30yeah he's like
08:31i made a blueprint of her body
08:32he's overthinking everything
08:34oh god
08:34i've calculated all the possible
08:36positions
08:36in adrogynous zones
08:38and will allow
08:39729 possible ways
08:41to make her reach
08:42the big o
08:43oh god
08:44i realize the true purpose
08:46of my degree now
08:47he says
08:48but do you guys think
08:49i should tone it back
08:50or dive deeper
08:51into uncharted territory
08:53he's done all the math
08:54on it
08:54he's done all the
08:55well that dried her right up
08:57yeah
08:57just show her a couple
09:00of equations
09:01that'll bring her back to earth
09:02and i think she's just like
09:04oh god
09:05the foot
09:05oh
09:06oh
09:07oh
09:08no my god
09:09oh
09:10whoa
09:10dude
09:11get away from me
09:13yeah
09:14oh lord
09:15i made her pass out again
09:16put me in the shower
09:17carry me to the shower
09:19her lifeless body
09:21i better get her
09:21resuscitated
09:23yes
09:23oh my god
09:25i need a shower
09:25after you stimulated me
09:27with that filthy foot
09:28yeah
09:28like what the hell
09:29and i still can't
09:31make heads or tails
09:32of what he's doing
09:32with his foot
09:33back of the knee
09:35andy
09:35back of the knee
09:36because he's like
09:36he's like
09:37ah
09:37yeah exactly
09:40how is he flipping
09:41it back there
09:42oh god
09:43have you ever been
09:44to a party
09:45with a bunch of engineers
09:46and talked to them
09:47i can't say i have
09:49i don't visualize them
09:51as being the best lovers
09:52i just have to say
09:54with apologies
09:54to our engineers
09:55here at beasley detroit
09:56no not that
09:57i'm talking like
09:59auto engineers
10:00like
10:00i don't know
10:03very nerdy
10:04do they talk to each other
10:05like last night
10:06i touched my girlfriend's
10:07clavicle
10:07crazy
10:09crazy
10:10well listen
10:11he should be
10:11doing porn
10:12if he's this much
10:13of a sexual master
10:14number one
10:15but number two
10:16if she is that sensitive
10:18you don't need to dive
10:20into deeper uncharted territory
10:22just licking her palms
10:24apparently will get her off
10:25so go slow my friend
10:27go slow
10:28it sounds like
10:29he could really kill it
10:30by just putting like
10:30a fan in the room
10:31like having to gently
10:33blow on her
10:34if she's that sensitive
10:35take it as a win
10:36yep
10:37take it as a win
10:38you just
10:39you can be a little
10:41more normal
10:42don't have to try
10:43and be a one man band
10:45in there
10:46you don't have to analyze it
10:47that's the
10:47that's what i mean
10:48about the engineering brain
10:50that's what i keep thinking
10:50of
10:51Dick Van Dyke
10:51he's hitting all
10:57the instruments
10:58she wakes up
11:00and is like
11:00what happened
11:00and he's like
11:01my love making
11:02it was too experimental
11:05too crazy
11:06too powerful
11:07so we
11:08listen
11:09if that
11:10if it's legitimate
11:11if she is having
11:12multiples
11:13and you have to
11:14carry her to the shower
11:15with her lifeless limp body
11:17and revive her
11:17amazing
11:18good for you dude
11:18but you don't have to
11:20like that maybe
11:21was too much
11:21that's funny
11:22my lady
11:24i just don't want
11:24to orgasm you to death
11:26that can happen
11:28i have to ask
11:29Dave and Chuck
11:29about this
11:30the email that he wrote
11:33look at that
11:34it is
11:36it's multiple
11:36paragraphs
11:37and it's
11:37broken down
11:38and it's
11:39yep
11:40wow
11:42kudos to you my friend
11:43if you are the ultimate
11:44sexual master
11:44with great power
11:45comes great responsibility
11:46just remember that
11:47that's crazy
11:48he's like the neo
11:50of sex
11:50oh god
11:55i know kung fu
11:57we wish you the best
11:59but if
11:59if she's as sensitive
12:01as you say
12:02then you don't need
12:02to be going
12:03as crazy as you are
12:04just calm down a bit
12:05i apologize to all
12:06the engineers listening
12:07but i'm just saying
12:08you do break things down
12:09and analyze things
12:10a little too much
12:10not our computer
12:12engineers here at
12:13beasley
12:13i'm talking about
12:14other engineers
12:15other more engineers
12:16he's like doing some
12:17math real quick
12:17what did she just say
12:19oh my god
12:21i'm a great lover
12:22i'm a fantastic lover
12:25i just am good
12:26at engineering